Sonic Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Sonic Park ❯ episode 1-Knuckles Gets An Anal Probe ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title:Knuckles gets an Anal Probe

Setting:Sonic Park, Colorado

Characters:Sonic "the Hedgehog" Broflowsky, Mighty "the Armadillo" Marsh, Eric "Knuckles" Cartman, Shadow "the Hedgehog" McKormick, Chef "Eggman", Amy "Rose" Testaburger, Mister "Professor" Gerald Robotnik, Officer Big "the Cat"

Type of Story:Humor, Crossover

Rating:PG-13
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Here it is the first episode in the epic series about four 8-year-old (yes their 8 in this) boys named Sonic Broflowsky, Mighty Marsh, Eric "Knuckles" Cartman, and Shadow McKormick as they go through bizzare experiences in their quiet mountain town of Sonic Park Colorado. So enjoy the script of "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe" as "Knuckles Gets an Anal Probe".
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I'm goin' down to Sonic Park, gonna have myself a time.

Sonic, Mighty:Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.

Goin' down to Sonic Park and leave my worries behind.

Knuckles:Ample parking day or night, people spouting HOWDY NEIGHBOR!

Get on to Sonic Park and see if I can't unwind.

Shadow: the theme song's almost over so shut up and enjoy the show!

So come on down to Sonic Park and meet some friends of mine!
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Boys:[Singing]School day, school day, teacher's golden ru...

Sonic:Ah, damn it! My little brother's trying to follow me to school, again.

Ike:Zeeponanner

Sonic:Ike, you can't come to school with me.

[Ike makes some baby speak]

Knuckles:Yeah, go home you little dildo.

Sonic: Dude, don't call my brother a dildo!

Mighty:What's a dildo?

Sonic:Well, I don't know... and I'll bet Knuckles doesn't know either.

Knuckles:I know what it means!

Sonic:Well, what?

Knuckles:I'm not telling you.

Mighty:What's a dildo Shadow?

Shadow:It's a little plastic dick that women put in their vaginas

[Laughter]

Knuckles:Huh, yeah, that's what Sonic's little brother is all right!

[Sonic swings Ike by his feet, knocking Knuckles down]

Knuckles: Ow!

[Ike laughs]

Mighty: Dude! That kicks ass!

Sonic:Yeah, check this one out. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!

Ike: Don't kick the baby.

Sonic:Kick the baby.

[Sonic kicks Ike.]

[Ike flings into four mailboxes, knocking them down.]

[Knuckles yawns]

Mighty:Whoa, Knuckles, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.

Knuckles:That's 'cause I was having these bogus nightmares.

Sonic:Really? What about?

Knuckles:Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed... in the dark. When all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room. Then slowly my bedroom door begin to open and the next thing I remember I was being drug through a hallway. Then I was lying on a table and these scary hands wanted to operate on me. And they had big heads and big black eyes.

[Through his dialogue it shows Knuckles being drug through a hallway and aliens pulling his fur down.]

Mighty: Dude! Visitors!

Sonic:Totally!

Knuckles:What?

Mighty:That wasn't a dream Knux, those were visitors!

Knuckles:No, it was just a dream, my mom said so.

Mighty:Visitors are real.

Sonic:Yeah, they abduct people and they mutilate cows.

Knuckles:Oh, shut-up guys you're just trying to make me scared. And it's not working.

[Eggman drives up and gets out of the car.]

Chef Eggman:Hello there, children.

Boys:Hey, Chef.

Mighty:What's going to be for lunch today?

Chef Eggman:Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles and a choice of green bean casserole... or vegetable medley.

Knuckles:Kick ass.

Chef Eggman:Say, did any of you children see the alien space ship last night?

Knuckles:Huh.

Sonic:Yeah, fat head saw it!

Knuckles:Eh, no, that, that was just a dream... and my heads not fat, It's big boned.

Chef Eggman:Oh, was it the ones with the big long heads and the black eyes?

Knuckles:Oh!

Mighty:They took him on their ship.

Chef Eggman:Oh! Did they give you an anal probe?

Knuckles:Oh!

Sonic:What's an anal probe?

Chef Eggman:That's when they put a big metal hooba-jube up yer butt.

Sonic:Whoa, they gave you an anal probe Knuckles?

Knuckles:No! I...I mean, eh, why would they do that?

Mighty: Dude, they did, huh? Aliens stuck stuff up your ass?!?

Knuckles:No!

Ike:Ahal probe

Knuckles:Shut-up dildo!

Chef Eggman:Well, I gotta get to the cafeteria. You boys watch that fat boy now. He could be under alien control.

[Eggman walks back to his car, there is a picture of an alien that says BELIEVE below it on his shirt.]

[Eggman drives off.]

Sonic:We told you they were real Knuckles. Sorry to hear about your ass.

[School buss arrives]

Knuckles:God damn it, they didn't do anything to my ass. It was just a dream.

[They start to file onto the bus.]

Sonic:Why are you walkin' so funny Knuckles?

Knuckles:Shut-up!

[Ike waddles by.]

Ike:I play today.

Sonic:No, Ike, go home. This is it, this ones for the game.

Ike:Purple.

Sonic:Kick the baby!

[Sonic kicks Ike, who flies through the first window of the school bus and crashes out through the other side.]


[On The Bus]
Mighty:Good morning, Miss Crabtree.

Ms. Crabtree:Sit down! We're runnin' late!

[The bus starts to drive down the road with Ike standing at the bus stop.]

Sonic: Damn it, he's still there.

Mighty:Oh, don't worry about him.

Sonic:No, dude, if something happens to him, my parents are gonna blame me.

Ms. Crabtree:I SAID SIT DOWN AHHHHHHH!

Mighty:Yeah, whatever ya fat bitch!

Ms. Crabtree:What did you say?

Mighty:I said I have a bad itch.

Ms. Crabtree:Oh.

[Sonic sees two aliens holding Ike.]

Sonic:Oh my god!

Mighty:Visitors!

Shadow:Oh no

Sonic:Ike!

[Sonic runs to the front of the bus]

Sonic:Stop the bus! Miss Crabtree, you have to stop this bus!

Ms. Crabtree: Do you want an office referral?

Sonic:No.

Ms. Crabtree:Then sit down!

Sonic:But I...

Ms. Crabtree:Ahhhh!

Sonic:Ahhhh!

Sonic, Ms. Crabtree:Ahhhh!

[Sonic runs back to his seat.]

Mighty:Knuckles are those the same visitors you saw?

knuckles:Shut-up you guys it's not working.

Sonic:We have to do something.

Mighty:Well, we can't do anything for now, that fat bitch won't let us.

Ms. Crabtree:What did you say?

Mighty:Uh, I said that rabbits eat lettuce.

Ms. Crabtree:Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.

[The bus swerves flinging kids into one side of the bus.]

Sonic:What am I going to do? My little brother's been abducted by aliens.

[Mighty farts]

Sonic:You farted.

[Laughter]

Knuckles:Somebody's baking brownies.


[Farmer's grazing fields with a mutilated cow]
Farmer:This is the third cow this month. At this rate all of my cattle are gonna die before the winter's through.

Cow:Moo

Officer Big:This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time.

Cows nod: "no".

Farmer:People's been saying they've been seeing UFO's around.

Officer Big: UFO's?

[Officer Big laughs.]
Farmer:Yeah, and black army, CIA helicopters and trucks.

Officer Big:That is the silliest thing I've ever heard.

[Helicopters fly above the sky.]

Farmer:What was that?

Officer Big:That, that was a pigeon.

Farmer:What am I supposed to do, Big? Just stand here and watch my cattle get mutilated one by one.

[Alien waves a piece of hay.]

[Alien whistles]

[The cows start running away from them.]

Farmer:Hey! My cattle!

["Cattle Ranch" sign falls down.]

Farmer:You see, there is somethin' funny goin' on!

Officer Big:There's nothing funny going on. I'll get those cows back.


[Mr. Robotnik's class]
Mr. Robotnik:And now children, our friend, Mr. Hat, is going to tell us about Christopher Columbus'.

Mr. Hat:That's right, Mr. Robotnik. Christopher Columbus discovered America and was the Indian's best friend. He helped the Indians win their war against Fredrick Douglass and a, and a freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France....

Sonic:Oh, man. I can't just sit here, I have to help my stupid brother, I'll come home without him and my dad will start yelling Where's your brother, Sonic?" "You weren't looking out for your little brother, Sonic?" ...

Mighty:Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him.

Sonic :... "You know he can't think on his own, Sonic!" "Brush and floss, Sonic!" "Where has that finger been, Sonic?"

Mighty: Dude!

Mr. Robotnik:Is there a problem, boys?

Sonic:Yes, Mr. Robotnik, I have to go now.

Mr. Robotnik:Oh, really, Sonic? What is it this time? Another prostate tumor?

Sonic:No, my little brother's been abducted by aliens. [silence] It's true! Ask Knuckles, they gave him an anal probe.

Knuckles:Heh, heh, that's a, that's, that's just a little joke. Heh, heh.

[Sonic walks up to Mr. Robotnik's desk.]

Sonic:Mr. Robotnik, seriously, I have to go. Can I please be excused from class?

Mr. Robotnik:I don't know, Sonic. Did you ask Mr. Hat?

Sonic:I don't want to ask Mr. Hat, I'm asking you!

Mr. Robotnik:Oh I think you should ask Mr. Hat.

Sonic:Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?

Mr. Hat:Well, Sonic. No!! You hear me?!? No! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!

Mr. Garrison: Hmm, I guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle.

Sonic: Damn it!

Knuckles:Hah, hah. Mr. Hat yelled at you.

[Knuckles farts fire.]

Knuckles:Ow! My ass!

All the kids in the room:Gasp

Sonic: Dude.

Mighty: Damn, Knuckles.

[Knuckles farts fire]

Knuckles:Ow! My ass!

Sonic: Dude, he's farting fire.

Mighty:It's the alien anal probe. It's shooting fire from
Knuckles' rectum.

Knuckles:No, that was just a dream.

Mr. Robotnik:Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is under control.

Knuckles:No, Mr. Robotnik, I'm fine.

[Knuckles farts fire, lighting up little Charmy.]

[Charmy runs around the room on fire.]


[Train Tracks]
Conductor:Hey, you cows can't get on this train! This is a people train. You cows have no business on a people train, all right? 'Cause your cows.

[The cows are all staring at the conductor.]

Conductor:No, no, no. Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right? 'Cause it's not gonna work.

[Officer Big drives by with his lights flashing.]

Officer Big:Hold it right there, cows!

[Cows split up and run off mooing.]

Officer Big:Come back here!


[Cafeteria]
Kid 1:So then I had ...

Kid 2:Yeah, seriously, killer.

[Knuckles farts fire.]

Knuckles:Ooh, I sure am hungry.

Mighty:How can you eat when you're farting fire?

Knuckles:Shut-up, dude, you're being totally immature.

Sonic:Hey, look, there's Amy Testeburger.

Mighty:Huh, where?

[Love music plays while hearts dance around Mighty's head.]

Knuckles:Mighty wants to kiss... Amy Testeburger.

Mighty:Shut-up, fat ass, I don't even like her.

Knuckles:I'm not fat... and you obviously like her because you throw up every time she talks to you.

Mighty:I do not.

Amy:Hi, guys.

Sonic, knuckles, Shadow:Hi Amy.

Amy:Here, Mighty. This is for you.

[Amy hands Mighty a note]

[Mighty throws up.]

Amy:Eww!

Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow:Bye, Amy.

sonic: Dude, what does the note say?

Mighty:Holy crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's pond after school.

Sonic:Whoa! Maybe you can kiss her.

Knuckles:Or slip her the tongue.

Shadow: mabye you can touch her p**sy

Mighty:What? How do you know she knows a cat?

[Silence]

[Shadow laughs]

[Laughter]

Sonic:Come on you guys, we need to figure out how to get out of school so we can get my little brother back.

Chef Eggman:Hello, there, children.

Boys:Hey, Chef.

Chef Eggman:How are you doing?

Sonic:Bad.

Chef Eggman:Why bad?

Sonic:Chef, have you ever had something happen to you, but nobody believed you?

Chef Eggman:Oh, children, children, that's a problem we've all had to face at some time or another. Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up.

Chef Eggman:[Singing]I'm gonna make love to ya woman, gonna lay you down by the fire. And caress your womanly body, make ya moan and perspire. Gonna ...

Mighty:Uh, Chef.

Chef Eggman:... get those juices flowin'...

Mighty:Chef!

Chef Eggman:... we makin' love, baby, love, baby, love, love, love, love, love, baby! ...

Mighty:Chef!

Chef Eggman:..love... huh? Do you feel better?

Sonic:No.

Chef Eggman:Oh, come on children, what could be so bad? It's Salisbury steak day.

Mighty:Visitors took Sonic's baby brother.

Chef Eggman:What?!?

[Eggman tosses a food tray aside and runs to the other side of the counter]

Chef Eggman:What the hell do you think you're doing in school eatin' Salisbury steak? Go find him damn it!

Sonic:Mr. Robotnik won't let us out of school. He thinks we're making it up.

Knuckles:You are making it up.

[Knuckles farts fire.]

[The anal probe pops out with a big eye ball.]

[The probe moves around and puts it's metal arms on it's hip.]

Mighty:Whoa!

[The probe goes back into Knuckles' ass.]

Knuckles:What?

Sonic:That was cool!

Chef Eggman:It's some kind of symbiotic, metamorphosis device. This could mean the visitors want to communicate with us.

Knuckles:Oh, I see. Now you're going to join in on the little joke huh?

Chef Eggman:It's no joke, children, this is big!

Sonic:Please, Chef, if I don't get out of school and get my little brother back from the aliens, my parents are gonna disown me.

Chef Eggman:Ahh, hold on, hold on now. Now you gotta help the children.

Knuckles:You guys sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!

[Eggman pulls on the fire alarm.]

Chef Eggman:Fire drill! Fire drill! Everybody out! Okay children, this is your chance!

Mighty:Killer, thanks Chef.

Chef Eggman:Man oh man, first contact with the alien visitors. I've got to get myself ready.


[Downtown]
Boys:[Singing]We got out of school! No more school today, we got out of...

[Knuckles farts fire]

Knuckles:Oh, you guys, seriously my ass.

Mighty:Okay, Knuckles, you can stop farting fire now.

Knuckles:I would if I could you son of a bitch!

Sonic:Okay, so how do we get my little brother back?

Knuckles:Would you stop going on about your little brother? I know it was just a dream. I know I didn't have an anal probe. And I know that I am not under alien control!

[Lightning strikes Knuckles and he gets big blushy cheeks and starts to sing.]

Knuckles:I love to sing-a! About the moon-a and June-a and the spring-a. I love to sing-a about a sky of blue-a or a tea or a two-a

[Lightning strikes Knuckles and he returns to normal.]

[Silence]

[Dogs barking in the background]

Mighty:What the hell was that?

Sonic:He is under alien control. That thing in his butt is linked up to the visitors!

Knuckles:Ah, son of a bitch! You guys, shut-up! I'm not under alien control.

Sonic:[Into Knuckles' ear]Hey, if you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little brother god damn it!

Knuckles:Ow! That hurts you buttlicker!

[Spaceship hovers over them]

Mighty:Sonic, look! It's them.

Sonic:Give me back my brother!

[He then throws a rock at the spaceship.]

[Spaceship fires back with a flash of light hitting Shadow and knocking him into the road.]

Mighty:Oh my god! They've killed Shadow!

Sonic:You bastards! Come back here! Come back! Damn it, we were so close.

Mighty:Hey look, I think Shadow's okay.

[Shadow gets up.]

Shadow:No, I'm alright. Ahhhh!

[Cows run over Shadow.]

Mighty:Owww.

[Shadow gets up again.]

Shadow:Nope, I'm fine. Ah!

[Officer Big's police car runs over Kenny]

[Shadow is knocked to the side of the road.]

[Shadow is dead.]

Mighty:Wow, poor Shadow.

Sonic:Now do you believe us Knuckles?

Knuckles:No!

Sonic:Knuckles, they killed Shadow!

Knuckles:He's not dead.

[Mighty picks up a stick and hits Shadow's bloody body.]

Mighty: Dude, Shadow is dead. See.

Knuckles:Shut-up you guys.

Sonic:He's dead.

[He takes Shadow's head and pulls it off.]

Knuckles:God damn it, I didn't have an anal probe! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home.

Sonic:Go on and go home you big chicken!

knuckles: Dildo!

Sonic:You're all I have left Might.

Mighty:Sorry, dude, I gotta go meet Amy Testeburger.

Sonic:You can't! Poor Ike must be so scared up there all alone. You gotta help me dude!

[Rats feast upon Shadow's body.]

Mighty: Dude, like Chef says, I've gotta get a piece of lovin' while the gettin's hot.

[Rats drag Shadow's head off]

Sonic:Rats.


[knuckles' house]
Mrs. Cartman: Hello, Eric

Knuckles:Hi, mom!

Mrs. Cartman:How are you doing?

Knuckles:Well, I'm pissed off.

Mrs. Cartman:Here, I made you powdered donut pancake surprise.

Knuckles:I don't want powdered donut pancake surprise. All the kids at school called me fat!

Mrs. Cartman:You're not fat, you're big boned.

Knuckles:That's what I said.

Mrs. Cartman:You can have an insy weensy bit, can't you?

Knuckles: No!

Mrs. Cartman:Just a weensy insy woo woo?

Knuckles: No! Leave me alone, mom!

Mrs. Cartman:How about a nice chocolate chicken pot pie, then?

Knuckles:What? Well, that does sound pretty good. Un, mom?

Mrs. Cartman:Yes, hon?

Knuckles:If anybody calls or comes over, I'm not here, okay?

Mrs. Cartman:Sure, hon. You want some cheesy poofs, too?

Knuckles:Yeah, I want cheesy poofs.


[Stark's Pond]
Sonic:Well, it looks like she's not going to show up Might. Let's go look for the visitors, now.

Mighty: But her note said she'd be here.

Amy:Hi, Mighty.

[Mighty throws up.]

Amy:Eww!

Sonic:You can't talk to Mighty Amy. He throws up when you do.

Amy:But why Mighty?

[Mighty pukes]

Amy:Eww!

Sonic:Look, can you guys just get down to business so I can go find my little brother.

Amy:Huh?

Sonic:Just make sweet love down by the fire.

Amy:What happened to your little brother?


[Knuckles' house]
Reporter:As the reports of UFO sightings increase, more mysterious crop circle patterns are appearing in fields all around South Park. These crop circles, when viewed from above, form strange patterns.

[The TV shows the patterns resemble Knuckles.]

Knuckles:Hey, that kind of looks like... Tom Selleck.

Reporter:Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us, here on earth.

Kitty:Meow

[Knuckles realizes Kitty wants his pot pie.]

Knuckles:No, kitty, this is mah pot pie.

Kitty:Meow

Knuckles:No kitty, get back kitty

Kitty:Meow

Knuckles:No kitty it's mah pot pie!

Kitty:Hiss

Knuckles:Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!

Mrs. Cartman:Well, then I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight.

Knuckles:What?


[Stark's Pond]
Sonic:Now I have to go home without him and my parents are going to have me killed.

Amy:Well, why don't you go get the fat kid?

Sonic:Why?

Amy:Well, if the fat kid has something implanted in his ass, maybe the visitors are using him as part of their plan. You should use the fat kid as bait to bring them back.

Sonic:Hey. You're right, Amy. Come on Mighty, we have to go get Cartman.

Amy:Come on, Mighty.

[He throws up again.]

Amy:Eww!

Mighty:Hey, wait, when do I get to make sweet love?

[A bird flies into his puke and starts waddling around in it.]


[Knuckles' House]
Kitty: Meow

Knuckles:No, kitty, you can't have any!

Kitty:Meow

Knuckles: No Kitty, this is mah pot pie. Bad kitty!

[Knuckles farts fire, setting the cat ablaze]

Knuckles:Eh, 'scuse me, Kitty.

[Mrs. Cartman enters the room with Sonic, Mighty and Amy.]

Mrs. Cartman:Eric, look who's here.

Knuckles: Dude, weak mom.

Sonic:Come on Eric, we're going to go play at the bus stop.

Knuckles:I can't, my mom said...

Mrs. Cartman:That's okay, Eric, I think you need to go spend time with your little friends.

Knuckles:[Quietly]But mom, I don't want to spend time with my little friends.

Mrs. Cartman: Don't be difficult, Eric! Uh hum, now you go out and play in the fun snow.

Knuckles:Oh, god damn it!

[kitty then runs by in flames.]


[Forest]
[Knuckles' foot is tied to a tree.]

Knuckles:You guys, I have to get home.

Mighty: Don't be such a fraidy echidna, Knuckles. This rope will make sure they can't take you on board again.

[Knuckles kicks his foot to see how strong the rope is.]

Knuckles:Oh, man, this sucks.

Sonic:How come the visitors aren't coming for him.

Mighty:I think we have to signal them somehow.

[Knuckles farts fire]

Cartman:Ow!

Amy:Hey, he's like Rudolph.

Sonic:Yeah, all you have to do is fart some more, Knuckles! And the visitors are sure to come!

Knuckles:Really? Uh, I don't think I can fart anymore tonight.

Sonic:Sure you do!

Mighty:Come on Knuckles, fart!

Knuckles:I don't wanna.

Mighty:He can't hold it in forever.

Sonic:Fart, damn you!

Knuckles:Okay, that's does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?!

[Knuckles Farts.]

[The anal probe comes out of his butt and turns into an 80-foot satellite.]

Knuckles:I'm sick of it! It's completely immature.

Mighty:Hey, it's happening again.

Sonic:Whoa, look at that.

Mighty:Now, do you believe us, Knuckles?

Knuckles:You guys can't scare me! I know you're making it all up.

Mighty:Knuckles, there's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass.

Knuckles:Sure, you guys, whatever.


[Eggman's backyard]
Chef Eggman:Oh, boy. The aliens are going to make first contact. Hey,down here, we are ready for your wisdom!

[Eggman looks at his watch.]

Chef Eggman:And you've only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on.


[Forest]
Knuckles:You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off right now! I know there is no such things as aliens!

[Three hover craft start flying above them.]

[A bigger spaceship floats above Knuckles' head.]

Knuckles:Oh, God damn it!


[Mr. Robotnik's Car]
Mr. Robotnik:What the? I tell you, there are some crazy stuff going on in this town.

Mr. Hat:You can say that again, Mr. Robotnik.


[Forest]
Sonic:Come down here you stinking aliens!

[Four aliens appear.]

Sonic:Uh, uh.

Mighty:Go on, Sonic, ask 'em for your little brother back.

Sonic:Vi, Visitors, this morning you took my little brother, Ike. He's the little freckled hedgehog that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away. But I've learned something today. That having a little brother... is a pretty special thing.

Mighty:Yeah.

Sonic:Ah, heck, Mr. Visitors, I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world, but if you could find it in your hearts or whatever you have, to give my brother back to me, it sure would make my life brighter again.

Mighty:That was beautiful, dude.

Sonic: Did it work?

Mighty:No, they're leaving.

Sonic:Hey, you scrawny ass s**t, what the f**k is wrong with you?! You must be some kind of f**kin' assho*e to be able to ignore a crying child!

Mighty:Whoa, dude!

Sonic:You know what you f**kin' like, you like to !@#$% and !@#$% and !@#$% and !@#$% and !@#$% and !@#$%!

Mighty:Hey Amy, what's a !@#$%?

[The spaceship door opens, Ike is standing there.]

Ike:Babbles

Sonic:Ike, jump down, now! For the love of god, Ike, jump!

Ike: Don't hurt me.

[The cows go up to the aliens and start mooing.]

Alien:Moo moo moo, moo moo moo, mooo

[Subtitles]
Alien:Greetings, cows of Earth, we come in peace.

Cow:Really??

Sonic:Come on, Ike! I promise I'll be nice to you from now on!

Ike: Don't kick the baby.

Alien:We have experimented with all the beings of Earth, and we have learned that you are the most intelligent and wise.

Knuckles:What the hell are they talking about?

Cow:Why did you turn some of us inside out?

Alien:Oh, that was Carl's fault. He's new.

Alien(Carl):Yeah, sorry about that, my bad!

Sonic:Ike!

Alien:Take this device. It's a gift from us.

[The cows look at each other and moo in agreement.]

Sonic:Ike! Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!

Ike:It's my turn!

[Ike dives into the snow.]

[The satellite goes back into Knuckles' butt.]

Alien:Farewell, cows, may peace be with you.

[The aliens disappear]

[The spaceship pulls Knuckles up but the rope keeps him hovering above the ground.]

Knuckles:You guys, get me down from har!

[Knuckles farts fire, burns the rope.]

[Knuckles goes up into the ship and the spaceship flies away.]

Knuckles:Ahh help! Sons of bitches! Dildo!

Mighty:Phew, I'm sure glad that's over with.

Sonic:Yeah. Boy, am I glad to see you, Ike.

Ike:Oh, he fly out of the sky.


[Eggman's Backyard]
Chef Eggman:Wait, where are you going alien visitors? Come back!

[Blonde and a brunette walk over to Eggman.]

Blonde:Well, Chef, where's this amazing thing you were going to show us.

Chef Eggman:Well, it's in the bedroom, ladies. Come on in.


[Forest]
Sonic:Come on, Ike, we can make it just in time for dinner.

Mighty:Thanks for your help, Amy.

Amy:Whatever, dude.

Mighty:Hey, I didn't throw up.

Amy: Cool.

[They both look at each other like they're going to kiss.]

[Amy pucker up.]

[Mighty vomits.]

Amy:Eww!

Mighty:Sorry.

Amy:Hey, look. A french fry.

Mighty:Cool.

Amy:And what is that?

Mighty:I think it's part of a cheesy poof.

[Eggman's song starts up.]

Amy:Hey, what's that?

Mighty:That's... a hamburger from... that's from, like, two days ago.

Amy:Hey, what about that?

Mighty:I don't know what the hell that is.


[The next morning at the bus stop]
Mighty:Gee, the bus'll be here any minute, and Knuckles still isn't around.

Sonic:Yeah, we're running out of friends.

Mighty:I wonder what that thing was that the visitors gave the cows.


[Cows out on a pasture]
Cows: Mooo.

Officer Big:Ha ha cows! I've got you cornered. Let's see you get away now.

[One of the cows steps on the plate on the alien device.]

[A bolt of lightning strikes Officer Big.]

[His glasses fly off, and cheeks become rosy.]

Officer Big:I love to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a, I love to sing-a, 'bout a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a...

[Cows begin hopping about gleefully]


[Bus Stop]
[Knuckles falls out of the sky, landing next to Sonic and Mighty.]

Knuckles:Puh.

Mighty:Oh, hey Knuckles.

Sonic:Wow Knuckles, the visitors dropped you off just in time to go to school.

Knuckles:Ah, man, I had this crazy nightmare lastnight.

Mighty:Really, what about?

Knuckles:Well, I was standing out in a field, and I had this huge satellite dish sticking out of my butt. And then there was hundreds of cows and aliens, and then I went up on the ship and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye.

Mighty:That wasn't a dream Knuckles, that really happened.

Cartman:Oh, right. Why don't I have pinkeye then?

Sonic:Knuckles, you do have pinkeye.

Knuckles:Ahh, son of a bitch!

The End
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Thre you go the very first episode of the Sonic Park series. Stick around for episode 2 coming soon. Send all comments, flames, and reviews to HyperSonicAdam2@aol.com