Sonic Series Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Sonic Park ❯ episode 4:Big Gay Als Big Gay Boat Ride ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title:Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride

Setting:Sonic Park, Colorado

Starring Characters:Sonic "the Hedgehog" Broflowsky, Mighty "the Armadillo" Marsh, Eric "Knuckles" Cartman, Shadow "the Hedgehog" McKormick, Big Gay Al, Chef Eggman, Jimbo, Ned

Type of Story:Humor, Crossover

Rating:PG-13
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This episode introduces Big Gay Al who is only seen a few times in the series, and Mightys gay dog Sparky. Anyway enjoy episode 4 of Sonic Park
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I'm goin' down to Sonic Park gonna have myself a time.

Sonic, Mighty:Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.

Goin' down to Sonic Park and leave my worries behind.

Knuckles:Ample parking day or night, people spouting HOWDY NEIGHBOR!

Get on to South Park and see if I can't unwind.

Shadow: the theme song's almost over so shut up and enjoy the show!

So come on down to Sonic Park and meet some friends of mine!
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[Bus Stop]

Sonic:Hey, where's the school bus? We're gonna be late for football practice.

[Sparky enters]

Mighty:Hiya Sparky.

Sonic:Who's that?

Mighty:That's my new dog Sparky. He followed me to the bus stop.

Sonic:Wow! Cool! An undeveloped dog

Mighty:Good dog Sparky. Who's my best buddy? Who's the boy? Who's the buddy?

Knuckles:Eh. You're making me sick dude.

Mighty:He's part doberman and part wolf. He's the toughest dog on the mountain.

Knuckles:No way. Everybody knows that Sylvester is the toughest undeveloped dog in Sonic Park.

Sylvester:Arrrrrr

Mighty:He's not meaner than Sparky.

Knuckles:Oh yeh, let's see. Hey, Sylvester.

Mighty:Sparky'll kick his ass.

Knuckles:I'll put a dollar on Sylvester.

Sonic:You're on dude.

[Sylvester, and Sparky circle eachother]

Sylvester, Sparky:Arrrrrr.

Mighty:That's it Sparky, kick his ass.

Sylvester, Sparky:Arrrrrr.

[Sparky jumps on Sylvester]

[Dogs start panting, and whimpering]

Knuckles:Heh, he's doing something to his ass. He's not kicking his ass, but he's definitely doing something to his ass.

Mighty:Sparky, bad dog!

Shadow:Oh my god I think they're fu*king.

Mighty:What?!?

Knuckles:Yeah dude, I think your dog is gay.

Mighty:What do you mean?

Knuckles:That dog is a gay homosexual.

Stan:He's just confused.

Sonic:I think the other dog's the one that's confused.

Kenny:Not from what I can see.

Mighty:Sick, shut up dude.

Sylvester:yipe yipe yipe yipe

[Sylvester runs away]

Knuckles:[Singing]Mighty's dog's a homo. Mighty's dog's a homo.

[Bus Arrives]


[Football Field]
Chef Eggman:Ok children, I know that you're all extremely excited, nervous, and anxious about the homecoming game against da Middlepark.

Kyle:Who's Middlepark?

Knuckles:What's homecoming?

Chef Eggman:But just remember what I taught you. That football is like making love to a really beautiful woman. You can't always score, but when you do, it makes all the trying worthwhile.

[Silence]

Chef Eggman:Now, let's start practice.

[Whistle]

Charmy:Uh, Mr. Chef sir?

Charmy:Yes Charmy, what is it?

Charmy:Well, I still don't have a helmet.

Chef Eggman:I know Charmy, the school can't afford helmets for everybody.

Charmy:Yes, but, couldn't we rotate who doesn't have a helmet every week? Does it always have to be me?

Chef Eggman:Yes Charmy, I'm afraid it does.

Charmy:Oh.

Chef Eggman:Sorry son, now get your ass in there.


[On the playing field]
Mighty:Hut-hut-hut-hut-hut--hut.hut.hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut

Chef Eggman:Hike the damn ball.

[Knuckles Hikes the ball over Mighty's head]

Knuckles:Eh.

[Mighty gives the ball chase]

[Sonic runs into Charmy's head, opening a major gash]


[On sideline]
Jimbo:Hey, how's practice coming there Chef?

Chef Eggman:Huh, oh, fine.

Jimbo:I don't have to remind you just how important this game is to us Sonic Park Alumni.

Chef Eggman:Elementary school alumni?

Jimbo:That's as far as most of us got. You think we have a shot at beating the spread against Middlepark this year?

Chef Eggman:I don't know. Wha, what's the spread?

Jimbo:Middlepark by 70 points.

Chef Eggman:Hmmm.


[On playing field]
[Knuckles runs into Shadow, fumbling the football]


[On sideline]
Chef Eggman:I don't think we have a chance.

Jimbo:Nonsense! Not with my nephew at quarterback. Right Mighty?


[On playing field]
[Mighty looks towards sideline as ball is snapped and gets hit in the head.]

Mighty:Huh?
.
[Mighty picks up ball and throws it to Sonic.]


[On sideline]
Jimbo:Thatta boy.

Chef Eggman:Great pass Mighty.

Jimbo:Come on Ned, we gotta get our asses to the booky.

[On sideline after practice]
Chef Eggman:Ok. That was a good practice children. We'll see you here again tomorrow.

Sonic:Hey Might, isn't that your dog?

Mighty:Yeah, he must have followed me to football practice. You see, he is smart.

Kid:Ah, my dog Rex follows me to football practice all the time.

Mighty:Yeah, but my dog found his own way here. That makes him smarter than your...

[Dog's whimpering and panting]

Mighty:Sparky, get down!

Kid:Oh my God! What is he doing to my dog?

Knuckles:There he goes again.

Mighty:Get down Sparky! Down!

Knuckles:Mighty forgot to mention that his dog is a gay homosexual.

Kid:Make him stop!

[Rex runs away with tail between legs]

Rex:Yipe yipe yipe yipe yipe yipe yipe yipe!

[Laughter]

Bully1:I'm sure glad my dog isn't gay.

Bully2:Yeah, maybe you should name your dog Sparkette, Mighty.

Bully1:Gay dog.

[Laugher]


[Mr. Robotnik's Classroom]
Knuckles:And so you see, Simon & Simon were not brothers in real life, only on television.

Mr. Robotnik:Thank you for that presentation Eric, but the assignment was on Asian cultures. You get a D minus.

Knuckles:Ah, damnit.

Mr. Robotnik:Who should we call on next Mr. Hat?

Mr. Hat:Well, how about Mighty, our little South Park quarterback star?

Mr. Robotnik:Oh, good idea. Ok Mighty, you're next.

Mighty:Um, I'm not really prepared either.

Mr. Robotnik:Well, just make something up, like Eric did.

Mighty:Ok, uh. Asian culture has, plagued our fragile earth for many years. We must end it...

Mr. Robotnik:Excellent. A minus.

Knuckles:Eh.

Mighty:Wow, cool!

Knuckles:Wait a minute, why the hell does he get an A minus

Mr. Robotnik:Eric, Mighty just might lead our team to victory against the Middlepark cowboys for the first time in decades. And we treat star atheletes better cause they're better people.

Knuckles:That's not fair!

Mr. Hat:Life isn't fair kiddo, get used to it.

Knuckles:Stupid puppet.

[Bell rings]

Mr. Robotnik: Don't forget your assignments tonight children, they're due tomorrow for everybody but Mighty.

Mighty:Mr. Robotnik, can I ask you a question?

Mr. Robotnik:Well of course Mighty, what is it?

Mighty:What's a...homosexual?

Mr. Robotnik:Oh, well, Mighty, I guess you came to the right person. Sit down.

[Mighty sits]

Mr. Robotnik:Mighty, gay people...well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine. But rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea sized brains which becomes the cause of their Naziesque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?

Mighty:I guess.

Mr. Robotnik:Good, I'm glad we could have this little talk Mighty. Now you go outside and practice football like a good little heterosexual.


[Coming off the bus]
Knuckles:You guys see me block that defense today, I was kicking ass.

Sonic:You're gonna need to kick more ass than that to beat the cowboys.

Knuckles:Hey, speaking of pounding ass, here comes Mighty's little homo dog.

Mighty:Shut up dude!

[Sparky comes up panting with a pink scarf on]

Mighty:Sparky, where'd you get that pink scarf?

Sparky:Bark, bark.

Knuckles:Man, that is the gayest dog I've ever seen.

Mighty:He just needs some training, that's all. Sit Sparky.

[Sparky sits]

Mighty:Good boy, now shake.

[Sparky shakes Mighty's hand.]

Mighty:Goood boy. Now, don't be gay. Don't be gay Spark. Don't be gay.

[Sparky looks at Mighty with confusion]

Sparky:Grrh

Sonic: Did it work?

Mighty:I don't know.

Knuckles:He still looks pretty gay to me.

Bully1:Huh, huh.

Bully2:Hey Mighty, your dog been to any pride marches lately?

Bully1:Huh huh, yeah, maybe you should take him to a Barbara Streisand concert.

[Laughter]

Bully1:Stupid little gay dog.

Bully2:Gay dog.

Mighty:Come on you guys, I have an idea.

[Ned and Jimbo enter Sports Book $]

Jimbo:I want 500 dollars on the South Park Cows.

Booky:Are you crazy?

Jimbo:No siree. I'm telling you, I got the line. My nephew Mighty is the best quarterback the school has ever seen. I guarantee they'll beat the spread.

Gambler1:I want to put all my money on the cows.

Gambler2: Duh, I think I'll put 300 on the cows too.

Gambler3:Hey, I want to put some money on the cows too.

Gambler4:I got 500 on the cows.

Gambler5:Well, I'll put money on the cows.

Jimbo:Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't get too carried away now.

Gambler6:You better be right about this Jimbo.

Jimbo:Hehe, yeah. Don't, don't worry yourself.

Ned:Mmmm, are you sure Stan is that good?

Jimbo:Not that sure. I think we better come up with a backup plan. Uhh, let's see here. Hey bookie! Wha, what's the halftime show gonna be?

Booky:You haven't heard! John Stamos' older brother Richard Stamos is gonna sing 'Loving You'.

Ned:I love that song.

Jimbo:Loving You'. That's perfect! Come on Ned, Middlepark's gonna get a Halftime show they'll never forget.


[In front of Mighty's house]

[There's a large crate sitting next to the kids.]

Mighty:Ok Sparky, we got you a present. Now why don't...

[Mighty notices another pink scarf on Sparky]

Mighty: Damn it Sparky, where do you keep getting this thing?!?

[Mighty tears scarf off of Sparky]

Mighty:No pink bandanas Sparky, bad dog! Now pay attention. Sparky,

[Mighty opens crate.]

Mighty:this is Fifi.

Sonic:Oolala

[Fifi sniffs Sparky's ass]

[Sparky goes after Fifi]

Knuckles:There he goes.

Mighty:Atta boy Spark, get her.

[Sparky jumps on Fifi.]

Mighty:Yes!

[Sparky throws Fifi's collar into the air, catching it on his neck.]

Mighty:Ah crap! Now what do I do?

Sonic:Who cares if your dog is gay? Maybe it's not that bad.

Knuckles:No way dude, my mom says God hates gay people. That's why he smote those sodomies in France.

Shadow:What?

Mighty:I know, Mr. Robotnik said that homosexuals are evil, but, but Sparky doesn't seem evil.

Sonic:Well, maybe Mr. Robotnik is wrong. You should ask somebody else.

Mighty:Like who?


[Inside Mighty's house]

[Jesus and Pal's title screen is on TV]

TV Announcer:And now back to Jesus and Pals on Sonic Park public access.

Jesus:Yay, many of you are seeking answers, and I am the way for you my children. Let's open the phone lines back up for some questions. Hello caller, you're on the air.

[Beep]

Robert:Yeah, is, is this Jesus?

Jesus:Yes my son.

Robert:This, this is Robert from Torrey Pines. I called last week asking for advice on my ex-wife.

Jesus:Of course Robert. How are things now?

Robert:Well, every, everything's much better Jesus. She hasn't mouthed off since. I just wanted to thank you for the advice. Oh, and for, for dying for my sins, that was really nice of you.

Jesus:Blessed art though Robert. Next caller, you're on the air.

[Beep]

Mighty:Uh, hi, Jesus. I, I have a dog, and he's a, he's a homosexual.

Jesus:My son, a lot of people have wondered what my stance on homosexuality is. So I'd like to state once and for all, my true opinion. You see...

TV Announcer:That's all the time we've left for Jesus and Pals, now stay tuned for Marty's Movie Reviews.

Mighty: Damn it!

Sonic:What'd he say?

Mighty:I got cut off for Marty's stupid Movie Reviews.

Knuckles:Oh, Marty's Movie Reviews are on, kick ass!

Mighty:Isn't there anybody who can help me? Isn't there anybody who cares?

Sonic:Come on dude, we have to get to practice.

Mighty:No, it's not ok! I don't want a gay dog! I want a butch dog! I want a Rin-tin-tin!


[Outside]
Sparky:Arf.

[Sparky dig's a hole under the fence.]

[Sparky runs away.]


[On the sideline at practice]
Chef Eggman:Now children, we've got to handle the ball better. You got to hold your football like you hold your lover.

[Music Starts]

Chef Eggman:Gently...yet firmly. You gonna be both nurturing and clinging at the same time. Oh yeh, just like you're givin' sweet love to the football. Naughty with the football. Mmmm.

Sonic:Uh, Chef?

Chef Eggman:Spank it, ever so gently.

Sonic:Chef?

Chef Eggman:Spank it.

Sonic:Chef!

Chef Eggman:Oh, uhhh, sorry children. Uhh, let's run some plays.

Charmy:Uh, Mr. Chef sir?

Chef Eggman:No Charmy, we still don't have a helmet for you.

Charmy:Righto, but how about I use a helmet today, and one of the other children goes without?

Chef Eggman:That wouldn't be very fair to the other children, now would it?

Charmy:No I, I guess not.


[Carl's Bombs and Explosives and Accessories]
Jimbo:What we want to do here Carl is put a trigger on that bomb that makes it go off at a specific moment during halftime.

Carl:What moment would that be?

Jimbo:Well, John Stamos' older brother is all set to sing 'Loving You' during halftime. We want that bomb to go off when he hits that high F.

Carl:What high F?

Jimbo:You know, [singing, badly] Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-doo...Ahhhhh

Carl:Right, right, so you want the trigger on the doo-nn-doo.

Jimbo:No, damnit! The Ahhhhh.

Carl:Ahhhhhh.

Ned:Ahhhhhh.

Jimbo:Ahhhhhh.

Carl:Ahhhhhh.

Jimbo:Great, we...

Carl: Doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-doo - Ahhh.

Ned: Doo-nn-doo-doo

Jimbo:You got it...

Carl: Doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-doo...

Ned:ahh...dooo

Jimbo:Ahhhhhh.

Carl:Alright, yeh, ok...


[On the sideline at practice]
Chef Eggman:What's the matter Mighty, you seem down.

Mighty:I just, I can't concentrate 'cause my dog is gay.

Chef Eggman:Well, you know what they say: you can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.

Mr. Robotnik:Oh, stop filling his head with that queer-loving propaganda.

Chef Eggman:Say what?!? You of all people should be sympathetic.

Mr. Robotnik:What do you mean?

Chef Eggman:Well, you're gay aren't you?

Mr. Robotnik:What?!? What the hell are you talking about?!? I am not gay.

Chef Eggman:Well, you sure do act like it.

Mr. Robotnik:I just act that way to get chicks, dumb ass.

[Eggman looks puzzlingly, but wonderingly]


[On the field]
Sonic:What's the matter dude?

Mighty:I don't know where Sparky is. He usually follows me to football practice.

Knuckles:Maybe he went shopping for some leather pants.

[Mighty punches Knuckles]

Knuckles:Ow!


[Snowy mountains]
[Sparky is trekking throught the snow.]

[Sparky comes to Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary]
Big Gay Al:Hello there little pup, I'm Big Gay Al.

[Sparky looks at him]

Big Gay Al:Have you been outcast?

[Sparky pants an affirmative]

Big Gay Al:Well, then I'm so glad you found my Big Gay Animal Sanctuary. We're all big gay friends here. Would you like to live with us?

[Sparky pants an affirmative]

Big Gay Al:Come on in little fellow, nobody will ever oppress you here.

[Big Gay Al leads Sparky into the animal sanctuary]


[Bus Stop]
Mighty:Have you guys seen Sparky, he still hasn't come back.

Sonic:Wow, it's been like two days.

Mighty:I think he might've run away.

Knuckles: Did you check the shopping m....

[Mighty punches Knuckles]

Knuckles:Ow!

Sonic:We'll help you look for him after the game
Might.

Mighty:I'm not playing.

Sonic:You what!?!

Mighty:I'm not playing in that stupid game. I have to find my dog.


[Middlepark School]
Jimbo:[Whisper]Come on Ned, and keep quiet.

Ned:[Louder than Jimbo]Ok


[In front of Middlepark's Mascot, Enrique]
Jimbo:Hello there Enrique.

Ned:Mmmm,what are we doing here?

Jimbo:Well Ned, we always kidnapped Middlepark's mascot. But this year we're gonna booby-trap it instead.

[Jimbo puts bomb on Enrique's back]

Jimbo:And when John Stamos' older brother hits that high F in 'Loving You', Boom!

[Enrique gets wide-eyed]

Jimbo:No more Middlepark players.

Ned:Hahahahaha

[Jimbo laughs]
Jimbo:God damn, I love football!


[Stormy mountains]
Mighty:Sparky! Where are you?!? Where could he be?


[South Park Elementary]
Middlepark players exit bus.


[South Park Football Field]
[ lot of Cows! fanfare, even Ike is wearing a shirt and bouncing about.]

Frank Hammond:Hello everyone, this is Frank Hammond, South Park public radio, AM 900, Welcome to tonight's matchup between the Middle Park Cowboys and the Sonicrk Cows.

Frank Hammond:Well, it looks like Chef Eggman, the Sonic Park Cows coach looks a little nervous. This is probably because his star quarterback has yet to show up.

Chef Eggman:Ohhh, come on Mighty.

Charmy:Uh, Mr. Chef, if Mighty doesn't show up, can I use his helmet?

Chef Eggman:No Charmy, I'm sorry!


[Stormy mountains]
Mighty:Sparky! Sparky!


[Sonic Park Football Field]
Referee:Play ball.

Chef Eggman:You're gonna have to quarterback Sonic.

Sonic:But I never practiced quarterback.

Chef Eggman:It's a little late for the bull crap now.

Frank:Filling in for quarterback is number 12, Sonic Broslofski.

Mr. Robotnik:Hey, hey, where is little Mighty?

Mr. Hat:Yeah, why the hell is that little Jewish kid playing quarterback?

Jimbo:Ned, look. They've got Enrique on their sideline, and it looks like that bomb's still attached.

Ned:Yeah.


[Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary]
Big Gay Al:Hi little fella, how are you doing today?

Mighty:Fine, how are you?

Big Gay Al:I'm super, thanks for asking.

Mighty:My gay dog ran away, and I was wondering if maybe he came here.

Big Gay Al:Well, let's see. Come on in. Hmm.

[Mighty goes into Big Gay Al's]

Mighty: Do you have lots of gay dogs here?

Big Gay Al:We have all sorts of gay animals here at Big Gay Al's. Over here we have a gay lion.

Gay Lion:Rooaar

Big Gay Al:And we have gay water buffalo, gay hummingbirds, here's a gaggle of gay gooses. Hi fellas, it's so super to see you!

Mighty:Wow, seems like the animals here are really happy.

Big Gay Al:Of course they are silly buns. It's the one place where gay animals can really be themselves. Would you like to dance?


[On the Dance Floor]
[Cheesy disco music plays]

Vocalist:[Singing]Oww, we can all be gay!


[In the huddle]
Mighty:Knuckles, you hike me the ball, then somebody run, and I'll throw it or something. Ready?!?

Huddle:Break!


[At the line of scrimmage]
Cowboy 1:You guys are toast.

Cowboy 2:Yeah, we're gonna pound your heads in.

Knuckles:We'll just see about that.

Sonic:Set, set.

[knuckles farts long and nasty]

Sonic: Damn it Knuckles!

[Sonic runs back from Knuckles' gas]

Chef Eggman:What's the matter?

Sonic:Knuckles farted!

Knuckles:No I didn't. That was just my shoes.

Chef Eggman:Come on Cows, we'll get a delay of game penalty.

Sonic:No way dude!

Chef Eggman:Hike the ball.

[Sonic approaches Knuckles with his shirt covering his nose.]

Sonic:Ah, dude, weak.

Knuckles:That's right, you get back there.

Sonic:Hut.

[Sonic takes the snap.]

Frank:The ball is snapped. Middle Park blitzes.

[Sonic screams as he is mobbed by the Middle Park blitz.]

Frank:Fumble, Middle Park gets the ball...they run it in for a TOUCHDOWN! The score is seven-nothing Middle Park, with 14:57 remaining in the first quarter.

Jimbo:Hell's bells.

Frank:Why, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King.

[Phil covers the mic.]

Phil:Now Frank, that's not very PC. You're gonna get us in trouble again.

Frank:Right, right, uh. I gotta watch that.

Townsman 1:We lose our money 'cause of your nephew, we're gonna hang you up to dry Jimbo.

Jimbo on't y'all worry, you just wait till halftime, hehe.


[Big Gay Al's dance floor]
Vocalist:Funkay, funkay.

[Mighty is gettin' down with a monkey.]

[Mighty sees Sparky]

Mighty:Sparky! Hiya Sparky, how's it goin'?

Sparky:Ruff.

Mighty:I missed you old pal, you really had me scared.

Sparky:Barr.

Mighty:Come on, let's go home. I can still make it in time for the game.

[Sparky follows Mighty]

Mighty:We can work on making you not gay together.

[Sparky stops]

Mighty:Sparky?

Big Gay Al:Young man, it appears you still don't understand.

Stan:What don't I understand?

Big Gay Al:Come this way, I have to show you something.


[Sonic Park Football Field]
Frank:With just over a minute to go in the half the score is Middle Park Cowboys 52, Sonic Park Cows 0.

Sonic:Hut, hut.

[Knuckles snaps the ball to Sonic]

[Cowboys blitz]

[Sonic flips ball back to Charmy, who is still without a helmet.]

[Charmy is dogpiled by what could be the entire Cowboys team]

Frank:Oh no, I haven't seen an English bee take a blow like that since Hugh Grant.

Phil: Dude! Now that is not cool.

Frank:Sorry, sorry.


[Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride]
Big Gay Al:Ok Mighty, I think you should get in line for my Big Gay Boat Ride.

[Mighty looks at the boat]

Big Gay Al:Step aboard Mighty.

[Mighty gets on board, with Sparky]

Big Gay Al:Hello everyone, and welcome aboard the Big Gay Boat Ride. On this adventure we'll be seeing the world of gayness throughout time.


[Sonic Park Football Field]
Frank:And the Sonic Park Cows are set to receive...

[Cowboys kick off]

Frank:There's the kick.

[Shadow takes the kick.]

Frank:It's taken by number 23, Shadow McCormick

[Shadow weaves through the Cowboys]

Frank:He's at the 50, the 40, the 30.

Cowboys:Hold him, hold him!

[Two Cowboys take hold of Shadow's arms]

Cowboys:Hold him, hold him!

Cowboy:Yahhh!

[A Third Cowboy dives in, taking Shadow's head off, as the other two sever Shadow's arms.]

Frank:The running back is down. I think he's...

[Rats come in to devour Shadow's corpse.]

Frank:Yes, he's been decaptitated.

Sonic:Huh! Oh my God, they killed Shadow! You Bastards!

Phil:That's gotta hurt Frank.

Frank:Ouch-a-roo

Chef Eggman:Hey, come on. That was roughing. At least let us scrape him off the field.

Frank:Looks like the Sonic Park Cows aren't even going to beat the 72 point spread. Not by a long shot.


[Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride]
Big Gay Al:You see, gayness has existed since the beginning of time. From the Egyptian pharaohs, to the shoguns of Japan.

[A shot of Hitler, a priest and a suit beating up a gay guy.]

Big Gay Al:Uh oh, look out, it's the oppressors. Christians and republicans and nazis, oh my!

[Big Gay Al fires off a shot with his revolver]

Big Gay Al:Ohhh! Oh God, that was close. Ok, let's steer our Big Gay Boat out of here and into a place where gays are allowed to live freely.

[Doors open to reveal a scene right out of 'It's a Small World']

Small World Singers:We're all gay, and it's ok, 'cause gay means happy and happy means gay. We're not sad anymore, cause we're out the closet door. It's ok, hey, to be gay!

Big Gay Al: Sooo, what do you think Mighty?

Mighty:This kicks ass! I'm sorry I tried to change you Spark, I just didn't understand.

Big Gay Al:Isn't this precious?


[Sonic Park Football Field]
Frank:And now, here to sing the touching song, 'Loving You' is the one and only, John Stamos' brother...

Jimbo:Alright Richard!

[Music Starts]

Richard:[Singing] Loving you, is easy cause you're beautiful - doo-n-doo--doo-doooo--Ahhhh

[Music Stops]

Richard:Ahhhh

Jimbo:What the hell?!?

Richard:Ahhhh

Jimbo:He didn't sing the high F.

[Richard continues to Ahhhh, badly]

Mr. Robotnik:Richard Stamos can't sing a high F, he always screws it up like this

Jimbo:Ned, we are going to get our asses kicked.

Richard:Lalalala

Mr. Robotnik:It's obvious where all the talent in that family went!


[Outside of Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary]
Mighty:Thanks for everything Big Gay Al!

Sparky:Ruff!

Big Gay Al:No problem kids. Are you sure you don't wanna stay for some toasted cheese sandwiches?

Mighty:No thanks, I've gotta get back for the big football game. Come on boy!

[Mighty and Sparky start to walk off]

Big Gay Al:Oh Mighty?

[Mighty and Sparky stop]

Big Gay Al:When you get back to town, tell them about us, will you? Tell them there are gay animals here who need homes, desperately.

Mighty:I will Big Gay Al, I will.

[Mighty and Sparky start to walk off]

Big Gay Al:Ooh, my carrot cake!


[Sonic Park Football Field]
Sonic:Hike!

[Sounds of football war, as the Cowboys continue to tear apart the cows]

Frank:And the Sonic Park Cows are being absolutely molested by Middle Park. I haven't seen so many children since...

Mr. Robotnik:I thought you said beating the spread was a sure thing Jimbo.

Townsman 1:Yeah, we all put our life savings in this game

Townsman 2:You're a dead man Jimbo

[An assortment of food products are thrown at Jimbo.]

Frank:Well, this should just about wrap it up for....

[Mighty and Sparky come on to the field.]

Frank:Wait a minute, what's this?

Crowd:Yeah!!!

Frank:It's Mighty, the Sonic Park star quarterback!

Chef Eggman:Where the hell have you been Mighty?!?

Mighty:I've been getting my best friend back.

Chef Eggman:Just get in there boy!

Jimbo:Give 'em hell Mighty!

[Mighty gets in at quarterback]

Jimbo:Jesus, now I haven't asked you for much, but all we need is one little score. Please? Please, Jesus?

Jesus:Leave me alone.

Mighty:Hike

Frank:Mighty hikes the ball. He steps back to pass.

Sonic:Hey Mighty, I'm open, I think.

Mighty:Ehh.

Frank:And he throws it to Sonic, the little Jewish hedgehog.

[Sonic runs towards the end zone, panting, Cowboys hot on his trail.]

Frank:Oh my! I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!

Phil: Dude!

[Random screaming sounds as the Cowboys fail to keep Sonic from scoring.]

Frank:Touchdown!

Jimbo:Yeah!

Mr. Robotnik:Wooo!

Frank:The clock runs out and the final score is Middle Park Cowboys 73, Sonic Park Cows 6. Sonic Park beats the spread!

Jimbo:Yeah! Woohoo!

[Mighty gets on the stage by the scoreboard]

Townsman:Speech!

Frank:Mighty, what do you want to tell the world about this stunning almost victory?

Mighty:It's really cool that we beat the spread against the Cowboys.

Crowd:Yeah, alright!

Mighty:And maybe we can beat 'em even more next year!

Crowd:Woooo

Mighty:And it's ok to be gay!

[Silence]

Jimbo:What?!?

Mighty:Being gay is just part of nature, and a beautiful thing.

Mr. Robotnik:What the hell is he talking about?!?

Frank:Uhh, Mighty, you arrived very late in the game, where were you that whole time?

Mighty:I was with my new friend, Big Gay Al. He showed me his Big Gay Animal Sanctuary, and took me on a Big Gay Boat Ride, where I learned all about the wonders of gaiety

[Crowd looks at Mighty in disbelief]

Mighty:It's true, I'll show you.

[Where Big Gay Al's is supposed to be, on the mountain]

Mighty:But it was here. It was all right here. The, there was a techno dance club.

Knuckles:Mighty, you need to lay off the cough syrup, alright, seriously. I'm worried about you man.

[An assortment of animals are found where the Santuary used to be]

Townswoman:Oliver, I thought you ran away all those months ago.

Townsperson 1:Sidney!

Townsperson 2:Whinny!

Townsperson 3:Carlos!

[Mighty sees Big Gay Al}

Big Gay Al:I want to thank you so much for bringing everybody here.

Mighty:Oh, there you are dude. How's it going?

Big Gay Al:I'm super, thanks for asking. It looks like now my work here is done.

[Big Gay Al climbs into his suitcase]

Big Gay Al:Goodbye Mighty, peace be with you.

Mighty:Wow!

[Big Gay Al's suitcase flys off]

Richard:You guys, you guys! I can do it.

Mr. Robotnik: Do what?

Richard:Loving you is easy cause your beautiful, doo-nn-doo-nn-doo-dooo

Jimbo:No!

Richard:Ahhh

Enrique:Mroo

[The bomb on Enrique explodes]

The End

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Well there is the 4th episode of Sonic Park and that's the first 4 episodes of the series hope you liked it. Anyway to the point I'm tired of typeing these episodes so I'm takeing a break for about a week or two, so cheak back in that time and I'll continue typeing new episodes. Send all reviews, comments, flames, and all that bull sh*t to HyperSonicAdam2@aol.com