Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ A Creils Story ❯ a fun day and... ( Chapter 4 )

Okay people, it's time for the QAC (questions, answers and comments) section before I write the next chapter. With my silver ankh on its silver chain around my neck, it's time to get down to the business.

here is what many a reader gave to me:

1) Why are you calling Cream a doe, she's not a deer, you dumbass!

websters dictionary defines a doe as: a female deer, goat or RABBIT. someone's doesn't know about animals too well.

2) The plane's is called the Tornado, not Cyclone. A Sonic gamer like me knows this stuff, you loser.

Someone hasn't played Sonic Adventure. Here's the deal people, there are two planes. The Tornado is Sonic's plane which is commonly used and seen. Tails made his own plane, which is what I'm referring to. True it's now called Tornado 2, but Naka-san originally called it The Cyclone. Naka-san didn't decide on using that name (Cyclone) until SA2 when it changed into its walker mode. Go back and read the "Sonic 101" textbook, you loser.

3) The hell is this supposed to be? A virgin's look at sex? Hopefully you'll grow out of this - hopefully. -Vincent Valentine/VT2

You just don't get the plot. Stick around, you might actually get it - hopefully.

4) Interesting. Update soon. -Warior

You get the plot... thanks for the kind words.

Now for some constructive criticism that I got:

What is this supposed to be? I'm stuck here trying to decide, really, and to decode this story for what it is. First off, this would never make it on a major market in this condition. Second, it needs work. If you are going to write about sex, make sure you have researched the subject in a certain detail before placing it on two characters. Third, there needs to be more description, thoughts, and emotions displayed through the characters. Fourth, practice with your own originality before using someone else's creations. It makes you look a hell of alot better, trust me on this.

-Resonance

Hmmm...... this sounds like one of the same replies I got after writing the first chapter. Well, let's get down to the points: First; Of course it wouldn't make it, I'm only building plot right now. Second; Wow, don't you know how to write stories? Plot must be built first, stories are like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly, it needs time to develop. Besides, you didn't read the summary, THE LEMONS COME LA-TER! Third; You're obviously a guy like me, but I don't a degree in sexology. Virgins act differently when they have their shot at "first fuck" as the sexologists would say. Give a kat a break huh? You act like that was the best sex of the story.... not by a long shot. Besides, I'm trying to write tasteful sex, not all-out carnal lusting. The carnal shit is the reason why six of my other stories on fanfiction.net got ripped from the site in two minutes (yes that actually happened, I still have the mail to prove it). Fourth; Three chapter have been written of this story so far, pump some cold blood down south, Res.

Finally I got the familiar shit (a smartass) going by the name of Squirtle City. Over the course of one hour, I read all seven pieces from this hatchling word for word and have this to say: With the exception of your tragedy story, your humor isn't funny, your romance is lame, your satire is terrible and your mystery is too predictable. The tragedy story that you wrote was okay, predictable like the mystery one, but okay nonetheless. "Heartbroken Rouge goes off to kill herself after a screw-up that Knuckles did, ends up leading him to his death." I'm not saying that was the plot of that story, but damn, that's what I saw. What you need to learn in writing is "Writer's Sleight of Hand" young hatchling. Stick around to this Creils Story for a while and you'll soon see it...

Oh yeah, lemme get back to it, BTW!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

45,000 ft from the ground, a Cyclone slices through the air, carrying two closer friends in it. "The wind is perfect for flying today, Cream." said Tails.

"Isn't it always like this?" asked Cream.

"No, not really. Sometimes Kaze like to torment inexperienced aircrafts."

"I wouldn't want to piss her off."

"No one does."

"So what else are we doing today?"

"Plenty. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Always."

"So are you ready to sit on the wings now?"

"No, I think I'll fly the plane some more."

"That's cool."

For a beginner, Cream could fly a Cyclone, as she lfew, Tails stood on the tail of his plane. "Hey Tails, where's the aut pilot at?" asked Cream.

"Auto pilot, just push its button." Tails answered.

"Oh, okay."

Cream set the plane in auto pilot, then joined Tails on the rear of the plane. Tails literally welcomed her in open arms as he held her. Cream of course, turned so her back was to Tails, and the doe was soon wrapped in the kit's arms. "Tails, I'm glad to spend my day with you. I sure hope we can always have more fun like this." said Cream.

"Me too, Cream, me too." said Tails.

"Say Tails, Do you think someone will see us from this high up?"

"Yup, lots of planes fly at this height."

"Oh phooey."

"Phooey? Wait a minute, you don't want to... you know, do you?"

Cream had a blush on her face. "Well, not if we're gonna get caught."

"I see. Well, let's go land the plane at the location I plotted out, let's go have some more fun."

"All right."

Cream climbed back into the cockpit andfollowed the flight plan.

*

[For everyone reading, picture the music of the Sonic Heroes level, Casino Park in your heads. That's the music I listened to for this part, but that's not where they are mind y'all.]

When are friends got to where they were, Cream couldn't believe her topaz eyes, "There's so much to do here, Tails. And everything looks like fun." she said, eyes all lit up.

"So you do like what you see." said Tails. "So, where do you want to start?"

"Let's go on that ride."

"Lead the way."

Cream and Tails got in line for a roller coaster and the two began their time at this carnival. It had obviously been a good ride as they two had smiles on their faces. The close friends enjoyed ride, after ride, after ride, a break for hot dogs and soda, more rides, a bathroom break, some carnival games, some carnival shows and more rides. Time flew like a bullet fired from an assault rifle and before they knew it, it was sunset. "Okay Cream, we have to go now." said Tails.

"Now, aw..." Cream whined.

"Don't worry, I'll bring you here another day."

"O-kay... but can we do one more ride?"

"...... Okay, one more ride, but then we leave."

"Cool, I already know where to go, come on."

The doe took the kit's hand and drug him to the final ride of the day. Luckily for them, no one else was riding it, the friends had it all to themselves. Unluckily for them however, the rie got stuck some height from the ground. "Well, this isn't so bad Tails, being stuck on the ride like this." said Cream.

"Yeah, I've no problem at all..." said Tails, "except the fact that we're UPSIDE DOWN!"

Three minutes later, the ride was fixed and Tails walked away from it. Cream however, had passed out due to the fact of all the blood in her head, so Tails carried Cream to the Cyclone and flew off. Today wasn't so bad, Cream enjoyed herself and that makes me happy. he thought. Well, let's get her home to her mom.

Once he got her home, Tails had explained how they got stuck on a ride. Mrs. Rabbit understood of course and everything was cool. "Well, I'm glad you're both safe and sound." said Mrs. Rabbit. [If anyone knows her name, please tell me, it helps.]

"You're not mad at us, are you mother?" asked Cream.

"No, not really. It's nice to know you had a good time with Tails, you always do."

"That's true."

"Well, I better get back now." said Tails. "I'll see you around Cream, take care."

Tails left and took to his plane as the Rabbits watched him fly off. "As for you young doe, there is someone you need to reintroduce yourself to." said Mrs. Rabbit.

"Really, who?" asked Cream.

"Here's a picture, take a good look."

Cream looked at the picture, It was a young buck, exactly her age and breed. "This isn't who I think it is, is it?" she asked.

"It is." said Mrs. Rabbit.

"Oh god."

"He'll be coming over tomorrow with his mother."

Oh on... this could only mean one thing....

Two days later, Tails found Cream on the beach in her summer detail. It was a high 80s-low 90s temp day, but she wasn't happy. "Cream, what's wrong, why are you so sad?" asked the young kit.

"Oh Tails..." Cream began, then burst into tears. "I'm getting married to a guy that I never had feelings for."

"MARRIED?!"

"Yes, a boy from my childhood that our mothers, mine and his, had us set up for an fixed marriage. I never liked him then and I still don't, and now we'll be marrying in a month."

"WOW, does this mean I'll get to meet him?"

"Tails, you don't even understand..."

"So you didn't like him as a bunny, so what? Years have passed sense then. Just give him a chance, you'll learn to love him."

"Hmf."

"It could be worse."

"How?"

"Usually, fixed marraiges are with family members or rich par-ties..." the fox trailed off.

"What?"

"Is he loaded?"

"Well, yes."

"Oh god, you're going to marry an aristocrat. That might work for you."

"I don't want to marry him."

"Now, now, introduce me to him, he can't be that bad."

"Fine, I'll introduce him and you tomorrow."

"Cool, I can wear classy stuff."

Not bad, eh? I can develop plot. And to those who think I'm not 18, you're right... I'm 20, so don't diss my plot developing skills.