Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Cream's Worst Nightmare ❯ sharing your problems ( Chapter 1 )
The next afternoon Cream sat at the beach, her only company was a jug of five 'X' whiskey which she was sipping on. "I didn't get a wink of sleep last night from all the 'noise' those two made." she said to herself. "I'm so glad Cheese was left in the Chao Garden, because he'd have really wigged if he saw that." She sipped on her whiskey, "I tried to close my eyes, but I was stained to see what I saw.... And the kicker is that my mom wasn't even faking it. Man, how am I gonna tell the guys about this one..." Cream knocked back the last of the whiskey and stood to her feet, then chucked the jug away, which ironically landed into a recycling bin, then she wobbled off. I'm gonna need another drink...
A little while later, Cream came out of the diner ladies room, she hurled all that whiskey. God, my life sucks... she thought. She decided to leave, but no sooner than getting to the door.... "Hey Cream, come over here and join us." Amy called out to her.
Ah.... shit. The doe turned from the door and sat at the table with the rest of the gang.
"What's wrong with you, 'bunny girl', you look like shit?" asked Rouge.
"Thanks, even though I feel worse than that." said Cream.
"Well, what's wrong with you?" asked Amy.
"Let's just say I haven't woke up from my horrible dream yet."
"Ah come on, it can't be that bad." said Sonic.
"You're right, it's worse."
"Spill it out already, I want the details." said Rouge, all eager to hear about Cream's problems.
Cream took a deep breath and said. "I caught my mom having sex...."
"Is that it?" asked Sonic.
"No, I don't mind that, it was who she was with that stains my retinas."
"Who was she with?" asked the gang.
"...... I can't say."
"She was getting fucked by Tails, wasn't she?" asked Shadow.
"Worse." Cream answered. "She was doggy style under Eggman."
All the activity in the diner stopped. Cream looked around... "What the hell are you staring at?!" the diner resumed all of its activity.
"Damn, that's.... kinda hard to believe, Cream." said Sonic.
"Yeah, that's not funny." added Amy.
"It's not a joke either." said Cream.
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"When I saw that, I felt like someone hit me with a wrecking ball. I had to leave the room and I was headed directly for the door. 'Cream, no wait just a minute, where are you going?' asked Vanilla.
'I'm going to the drinking fountain, because I still think this is a nightmare.' Cream answered.
'I take it things are bad...' said Eggman.
'Nothing I can't handle, Ivo.' said Vanilla.
'Just pinch me, I don't care where, but pinch me.' pled Cream.
Eggman threw a glass of water at Cream's face, 'Feel any better?' he asked.
'No, I feel worse, because this is real.'
'I didn't know you would be home now, I thought I had some more time.' said Vanilla.
'Mom, how could you have sex with Eggman?'
'I'm a grown woman, I have my needs you know.'
'No really, how could you have sex with Eggman? If you wanted jelly rolls, I could've brought you some back from the donut shop.'
'Watch your mouth!' yelled Eggman and Vanilla.
'I can understand you and Big in bed, but this fat fucker? You might as well have found Fat Bastard from Austin Powers.'
'You shit-mouthed little brat!-' Yelled Eggman.
'Hold on Ivo, I got this.' said Vanilla. 'Young doe, you are being incredibly rude, apologize this instant!'
'You want me to apologize to this pencil-dick porker?!'
'Listen to the disrespectful youths today, they have no props for old Gs like me.' said Eggman. 'And for your information little girl, your mother doesn't seem to mind my magic stick. I ain't got no teenie weanie, I can balance the globe on that coffee table of yours on the tip of my dick."
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[XD Breathe Katro, breathe...] Knuckles, Rouge and Shadow fell backwards out of their seats to the floor, busting up laughing in tears, Rouge holding her sides from the pain in her kidneys. Sonic was banging his head on the table and Amy shook her head with her hands over her ears, trying to forget what was just said. "God damn." said Sonic.
"He really said it like that, too." said a sulking Cream.
"Magic stick... Balance a globe on the tip of my dick..." Knuckles was rolling on the floor. "I'm gonna use that shit, it's gold."
"That... coming out of Eggman..." Rouge still holding her sides. "I can't breathe..."
Shadow was kicking his legs in the air. "I normally don't laugh like this, but this was crrrrrrrrrrrazy!"
"So what else happened?" asked Amy.
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"I put my shoes back on... Cream answered. 'If you wanna have sex with some heap of fat on legs who's hellbent on taking over the world, go right ahead, but do it without me.'
'Cream....' said Vanilla.
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"I didn't even hear that last part, so I just up and split."
"You know, that's really messed up." said Rouge.
"Hey who ordered two margaritas?" asked the waiter.
"Those are mine." answered Shadow.
"Enjoy, sir..." and the waiter left.
"I'm outta here, my problems are just too heavy for me." Cream said as she left the table.
"Call me later, okay?!" Amy yelled as Cream left the diner.
"I'll handle this." said Shadow as he left with his drinks.
Cream was headed back to the beach, What was I thinking about telling them about this, they though of it as some stupid joke. Cream thought. I guess this is what I get.
Shadow appeared before her, "Hey kiddo." he said.
"Did you come here to laugh at me some more?" Cream asked.
"........Here, you need this more than I do." Shadow handed Cream a margarita. "But you stole it from me, got it?"
"No, you didn't, it just doesn't have alcohol in it."
"To our problems..."
"Cheers..."
Shadow and Cream toasted, then off Shadow went, leaving Cream to her margarita. The doe sat down and sipped it as she watched the sunset.