Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Episode III: Revenge of the Obvious Pun ❯ A Slightly Used Hope ( Chapter 18 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

By: Volkov

Chapter Eighteen: A Slightly Used Hope

[The scene cuts to the interior of Shadow's ship. Yoda, Sonic, and Shadow are chilling in a conference room.]

Yoda: Hidden, the twins must be.

Sonic: Yeah, we need to hide them in a place where the Sith can't find them.

Yoda: Split up, they should be.

Shadow: Oooh! Oooh! I'll take the girl! I've always wanted to be some little girl's daddy! Dress her up in a slave girl outfit…rrooooowr.

[Dead silence.]

Yoda: What the fuck, wrong with you?

Sonic: Uhh…maybe somebody else can take care of the girl…

Shadow: But…but…I was going to be her daddy!

Sonic: We need a real father for her, not some kind of pedophile sex pervert sugar daddy.

Shadow: Oh. Well, then I'm out of ideas.

[Sonic and Yoda stare at Shadow.]

Shadow: Fine. I'll take the girl and try to not be a sex pervert.

Sonic: Not very reassuring…and what do we do with the boy?

Shadow: I know what you want to do with the boy!

Sonic: At any other time, I'd applaud your comeback, but this time it comes less than three seconds after you expressed some creepy pedophile urges.

Yoda: To Tails' family on Tatooine, we bring the boy.

Sonic: Wow, how could that not be the first place the Empire looks?

Yoda: Conveniently, thinks the children dead, the Emperor does.

Shadow: Great. Now we've only got one more continuity error…how will Sonic not know about the girl in the next film?

Yoda: When have spent you as much time in desert as he will, forget about women will you too.

Sonic: Thanks Master Yoda.

Yoda: Watch over young Luke, you will. Until the right time, hide we will.

[Shadow leaves the conference room. Sonic gets up to leave.]

Yoda: A second, you must wait, Sonic. Have training for you, I do.

Sonic: More training?

Yoda: The path to immortality, an old friend has found.

Sonic: Who?

Yoda: Your old master…

Sonic: Mario-Gon Jinn? How?

Yoda: How to talk with him, teach you I will.

[The scene cuts to Shadow walking down a hall. A captain is standing near Omochao, who's hovering around.]

Shadow: Captain!

Captain: Yes sir?

Shadow: I'm placing the droid in your care. Have his memory wiped.

Omochao: WHAT?! After all the stuff I've done? [Bleep] that bitch!

Shadow: Actually, throw him out an airlock.

Captain: Yes sir!

[The captain starts to drag Omochao down the hall.]

Omochao: FUCK YOU SHADOW! I HOPE YOUR BURN IN HELL! LEIA WILL NEVER GIVE YOU ANY YOU PERVERT!

[The scene cuts to a funeral on Naboo. A procession winds through the city streets, carrying Amy. Jar-Jar Binks is visible for a brief second, a red dot hovering on his forehead. A loud snap echoes across the air and Jar-Jar goes down in a spray of blood. People cheer for the hidden sniper. The scene cuts to the bridge of a Star Destroyer. Eggman stands at the front of the bridge, gazing at the frame of the Death Egg. Darth Vulpes is curled at his feet.]

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Eggman: You can cut that screaming out now…

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Eggman: It's starting to get annoying…

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Eggman: Oh for the love of God…

[The scene cuts to Alderaan. Shadow rocks the baby Leia in his arms.]

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO-

[The scene cuts to Tatooine. Sonic hands the baby Luke to Owen and Beru Lars {Author's Note: I'm out of characters now…}. They hold the baby, and walk up to a sand ridge, and recreated the pose that Luke did/will do in Episode IV. The two suns of Tatooine start to set.]

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

[The screen fades to black.]

~~~THE END~~~

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

[Credits roll. It's a pointless waste of space to redo the character list from “Return of the King, Baby!”, so if you're wondering where someone is from, check the last chapter of that story.]

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

[That's going to get annoying.]

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

[The film is over, shut up.]

Darth Vulpes: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

[Gunshot. Credits scroll off screen.]

~~~THE END~~~

{Author's Note: And we reach the end of another parody fanfiction thing. If you enjoyed it, hated it, or hate me because I didn't include any Tails/Amy porn, by all means, leave a review…please. Don't make me beg. I'd like to thank George Lucas for making such an endlessly mockable film as “Revenge of the Sith”. I'd also like to “thank” a friend from school who pushed me to write this. I will break your kneecaps someday. There is someone else I'd like to thank, but I think they'd kill me if I mentioned them by name, so, whatever! And no, it's not a girlfriend. You think I have one? The guy who wrote this story? LAUGHABLE! Well, in any case, I hope you enjoyed the story.}

~~~THE END, I KID YOU NOT~~~