Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ FEIGN FABLE FIASCO!! ❯ SHOWTIME SERIOUSLY STARTS! ( Chapter 4 )

FEIGN FABLE FIASCO!!: SHOWTIME SERIOUSLY STARTS! (finally!)

 

-

 

 

Within a few hours, it was time for the show to start!

Eggman was the narrator. He had issued out all the costumes to the characters hours before in consideration to Knuckles' costume… He wanted him to be familiar with putting it on for the show.

As all the hostages of Station Square rounded together and took their seats…on the floor, Eggman greeted them all.

“Hello there all you unhappy people! Have we got a treat for you tonight! Tonight's special presentation will be the story of Hansel and Gretel!! Now without further ado, I present to you…tonight's shooowww!!!”

Robotic-like clapping ensued as the curtain pulled back and Eggman moved to the lower side of the stage.

 

Clearing his throat, he began to narrate.

“A'hem! Long ago, in the depths of the forest, there lived a cranky old woman with a soft-spoken husband. The husband would chop wood aalll day and when he got home, his ungrateful wife wouldn't even have any fried chicken waiting for him on the table, let alone any bread!

“One day, the husband gently complained about this to his inconsiderate wife and her response to him was to take their own children out into the woods so they would have the majority of the food supply all to themselves!!”

A giant card fell from the ceiling that read “Oooooh”, and the audience did just that in reply.

Smiling eagerly that things were going so well, so far, Eggman happily introduced the main characters.

“Now, those very children were known as Hansel…” he paused as Shadow walked out nonchalantly from behind the curtain in form-sitting green overalls and faced the audience, instinctively crossing his arms.

“…And Gretel!”

At the character's name, Knuckles stumbled out onto the stage, clad in a green Dutch dress and nearly tripped over the clogs he wore. Swearing under his breath, he swatted at the wire lined blonde pigtails on his head and stood beside Shadow.

“You look really awful in that outfit.” Shadow whispered out the corner of his mouth to Knuckles.

“I know…but I've got balls comin' out here in a getup like this!”

Shadow tried to stifle a snicker. “Just don't break them…”

“Why you…”

“AHEM!” Eggman cleared his throat to get his actors' attention, then continued on. “So, that night, Hansel and Gretel both overheard their mother talking about leaving them in the forest just so she could have all the large pieces of friend chicken all to herself.”

“Man, that frickin' sucks, brother…” Knuckles said, cringing at calling Shadow `brother'.

“Yeah, that scornful woman needs to meet her demise.”

Blinking, Knuckles whispered to Shadow “Say, why isn't there a woman or anyone else playing this part?”

Shadow grinned and looked to Knuckles. “Because I threatened to shoot them if there were. I hate ^$%^^es. A lady should be just that…A lady, nothing less.”

Knuckles' eyes widened at Shadow's choice of words and pointed to the audience. “I think your public heard you.”

“Ask me if I care.”

“Ahem!! So, that night, Hansel had an idea of what to use as markers to lead them back home again.”

Not having any bread props on him, Shadow turned to Knuckles. “Do you happen to have any emerald shards on you?”

“Yeah why?”

Smiling, Shadow popped Knuckles upside the back of his pigtailed head as pieces of the Master Emerald fell out and scattered all over the floor.

“Ow! Hey!!”

“Thanx!” Shadow laughed and pilfered the pieces. “Come on, let's go.”

Knuckles scoffed as he glared at Shadow. “You had better give those back!!”

“Maybe.” He mused, beginning to drop the shards behind them as they walked.

“But as their mother and father lead them out into the forest, the shards Hansel dropped were soon consumed by a crow since they're attracted to shiny things.” Eggman continued sarcastically and watched as a bird swooped down from behind the curtain and started gobbling up the emerald shards.

Hearing a strange sound behind them, Knuckles spun around and his eyes went wide in horror. “THE MASTER EMERALD!!!” he cried and ran after the bird, but it flew away too fast for him to catch it.

Growling, she started pulling up the hems of his dress to go after the creature when a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him. “Forget it, let's just keep going. The faster we do this, the sooner it'll get done. “Shadow said.

“Yeah but---the emerald!!”

“You can always get another one…”

Snarling, Knuckles raised a fist at the long gone bird. “BASTARD! I'll get you, yet! Mark my words!!”

“Shut up!” Shadow shouted, smacking Knuckles upside the back of the head again, but Knuckles quickly caught all the pieces of the M.E.shards that fell this time. “Ha gotcha!”

Staring impatiently at them, Eggman sighed. “Are you done? Anyway!! As the two continued to venture through the forest, their parents had left them there for the wildlife to consume them!” Then Eggman snarled for effect.

“Don't do that again.” Shadow warned.

Ignoring his threat, Eggman continued to narrate.

“Looking back at the trail he had left, Hansel was shocked to find it…GONE!”

Another card dropped down from the ceiling, knocking the other one down in the process that read: “Gasp”. And the audience…so bored out of their minds by Eggman's rule, were too `brainwashed' to recognize what the sign was really asking for and said “Gasp” instead.

Eggman shook his head, but continued on. “Shadow it's your line!”

“Oh. On no. The shards have been eaten by a bird….” He said in a completely empty voice with no passion at all.

“And so, the two had somehow miraculously found their way back to the house and their mother was even more upset, so she sent them out again, but this time, Hansel had a better idea of what to use to track their trail.”

“Hang on, let ME handle this one!” Knuckles cut in, reaching in his dress pocket and pulling out a box of altoids and alka seltzer.

Shadow stared warily at him. “And what are you going to do with those? Got bad breath and indigestion?”

“No…something better!” Grinning evilly, Knuckles chuckled and set the items in an alternative trail as they walked across the stage.

And just as before, the crow flew back out and gobbled down some of the altoids as well as the alka-seltzer.

Knuckles watched eagerly with a sadistic toothy grin as the bird couldn't hold all the acidity within its body and exploded.

“HA!!!! PAYBACK!!!!” Knuckles shouted, raising a fist in triumph. “That oughtta teach you to mess with MY Master Emerald, jerk!”

Scowling, Shadow grabbed Knuckles by the arm and dragged him upstage. “Okay Al Pachino…that's enough.”

Amused to be called that name, Knuckles leapt away from Shadow's grasp and started to pretend he had a machine gun. “SAY `ELLO TO MY LIL' FRIEN'! “

Eggman shuddered. “Uh…let's NOT see that Knuckles. Ahem! Anyway, since the two children were abandoned out in the cold, they started seeing visions of houses made out of food, candy and Pokey…”

Getting into character, Knuckles sniffed the air, catching a sweet scent. “Mm what is that? Plumeria?” Curious, he kept sniffing, until he realized he was sniffing Shadow and was pushed roughly to the floor.

Springing back up, he was about to charge for Shadow, only to find him already at the candy covered house, snaking on a stick of Pocky.

“Man…I didn't know you liked that stuff…” Knuckles said, wrinkling his nose at the way Shadow consumed the snack.

“Then don't watch me eat it.”

Knuckles half-smiled, then stopped cold when he heard movement from inside the house. Curious, he took a peek through one of the windows and gasped.

“Hey it's Rouge!!” he exclaimed! “And she's changing into costume!!”

“What!?” Shadow wondered, and pushed Knuckles out the way. “Show some common decency and let her change!” he scolded, slipping a peek of her changing himself, turning bright red.

“Uh huh….show some decency, eh Shadow? I think your pride is showing” Knuckles grinned darkly.

Chuckling, Shadow had to agree with him there.

“Then just at that moment…!”

The doors to the little house flew open and there stood Rouge, leaning against the doorway in a seductive manner, and throwing her wig of streaky gray/black hair back.

“Welcome….to my Love Shack…” she presented lustfully.

“Allright!!” Knuckles cheered, running towards her, but Shadow stopped him. “I don't think so…” he said, then looked to Rouge, demanding an explanation.

Seeing his expression, Rouge laughed and waved it away. “Actually some guy from the audience paid me 50 bucks just to say that on set. Another guy gave me 150 just for winking and sucking on my finger…”

Shadow's eyes narrowed as Knuckles' widened.

“And…some girl gave me 200 bucks just to do this…” she said softly and walked over to Shadow, took his hands in hers and kissed him.

Constant whoops came from the once `dead' audience at the display.

“SHADOUGE!” some people in the audience called.

Pulling away, Rouge smiled at Shadow, then whispered in his ear “We'll finish this later.”

His face lit up and he quickly turned away from her out of embarrassment. Then he cursed himself for having to wear such a tight outfit…

“Hey what about me!?” Knuckles shouted, pointing to his nose.

Rouge looked him up and down and scoffed. “WHAT about you? You're wearin' a dress for crying out loud! “

Knuckles started to look offended.

Rouge sighed “But you know, some guy DID offer to pay me a million bucks to kiss you right on the spot. He also promised to throw in two tickets to an all expenses paid island vacation, all the JEWELRY I could ask for AND have caterers at my command day and night!”

“Knuxouge!” someone from the audience cheered, but he was severely shushed by everyone else.

Knuckles looked excited while Shadow sulked and turned his back to them.

Seeing him so aggravated, Rouge bit her lip. “But you know what I told him? Not if the world ended tomorrow! But… you know what else? I lied.” She said, blowing Knuckles a kiss, just enough to distract him and steal a chaos emerald from him.

Shadow caught this out the corner of his eye and smiled faintly, shaking his head.

“Anyway, why don't you two come inside…of my house?”

“With PLEASURE!” Knuckles exclaimed, rushing in the house before any of them.

“Hey, remember you're a GIRL, Knucklehead!” Rouge shot back at him.

“%^#$^%!” Knuckles cursed.

Laughing Shadow went ahead of Rouge into the little house.

Once inside, her eyes trailed down to Shadow's tail as it moved slightly from side to side.

Feeling her eyes on him, Shadow turned to her. “What?”

“Your tail…it's nice…”

Embarrassed by the random compliment, Shadow half-smiled and moved his tail around for her. ”Thank you…”

“So!” Rouge, began, getting back to the story, and nearing closer to Shadow. “Just…how big do you think you need to be for this hungry lady…?”

Shadow's brows raised high on his forehead at her obvious double meaning and immediately replied: “As big as you want me to be…”

“So when's the part come in when I have to boil the water for him…?” Knuckles interrupted, glaring at Shadow.

Rouge laughed and shook her head. “Relax! I'm not going to jump on him…I'm just going to eat him….”

“Oh.” Knuckles replied, completely oblivious to her character's real plan. “Okay.” Then he frowned. “…I wish I could eat you…”

“Um sorry, my character doesn't grant wishes. See ya!” she waved to him and walked off and Shadow chuckled and followed suit.

“Huh? Hey get back here!” Knuckles called after them, tripping over his clogs and growling as he pushed himself back up. “Wait up!!”

“The next scene will be starting shortly!” Eggman announced. So get out, get some snacks, use the bathroom, then come back for the second half of the show!”

A sign dropped down from the ceiling and dangled half attached to the ceiling and half attached to nothing.

Sideways, it read “Intermission”.

-

-The big piece of chicken bit was inspired by Chris Rock's Bigger and Blacker performance. lol

 

-*sigh*.

Should I even continue this thang? >_<

 

-Mel