Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Epic ❯ The Baseball Saga ( Chapter 17 )

THE EPIC

 

HAMMER AND SICKLE STUDIOS PRESENTS AN EPIC EDITED BY VOLKOV “INTERACTIVE STORY!!!” STARRING A TON OF RANDOM PEOPLE WRITTEN BY LORD FEAR HAKU SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG GRAND MASTER SHOMA SONICMON THE VIEW2FUL AND VOLKOV WRITTEN ON THE TRIPLE PEEPS FORUM IMAGINED BY LORD FEAR AND EDITED BY GREG “VOLKOV” PARAUBEK

 

It's been a while, hasn't it? Chalk it up to laziness, school, and…well, more school. And more laziness. And a tinge of internet problems. But all is well once more! Alright, that's a damn lie, but whatever. Just read. And review.

 

Disclaimer: Any characters not owned by, but not limited to, Sega, Square Enix, Nintendo, Namco, Capcom, Westwood, or any other company were created by us (the forum users) and cannot be used without our express permission. This story is joint property of all the people who wrote anything in it, and the Triple Peeps, who own the forum where this was placed. You steal, you suffer the consequences. You've been warned. Now read and enjoy!

 

INTERACTIVE STORY!!!

 

The Baseball Saga

 

[And so, let us check upon the people who were fired into oblivion...]

Giant Chicken: (being flung) BgaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!! [smashes into the Sphinx]

Marik: (looking at this) Hmm...judging from that firing angle, I have to say that's Eggman! REVENGE IS MINE!!! I'll teach you for exporting me!

Ishtzu: Oh, shut up, you little bitch...

Marik: (bawling) YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME, YOU WHORE!!!

[Riiiiight...and Shadow…]

Shadow: (falling) FuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- (smashes into tree) OW! (tree) AGH!!! (mountain) D'OH!!! (rolling) FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK- (slingshotted off) FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[Back to Eggman.]

Eggman: Well, I can safely say that Shadow will forgive me! I let him bum with me, after all!

Shadow: (flinging into Eggman) -UCK!!! (nails the fat man into the ground, gets up) Holy... Er- SERVES YOU RIGHT, ROTUND MAN!!! I MEANT... to do- (looks around at everyone) ...that?

 

Eggman: Now let's see here...let's here it for JOHNNY!

Marik: GET THAT BITCH AWAY FROM ME! HELP!! (runs away)

Ishizu: YOU ARE SO DEAD!

Eggman: Um...So Johnny, wha's the good word?

Johnny: (pulling a guitar out of his collection) Well, it takes a lot of guts, to live in a ship full of little girls.

Il Palazzo: Priceless.

Bowser: Indeed.

Yugi: Sing something Johnny!

Johnny: Shut up! I'll get to it! (plays some wild chords on the guitar)

It sucks being in a place

Where 'Her' towels outnumber 'His'
You have to save face.

Testament: (on bongos) OH AIYAIYAIYAIYAI!

Eggman: Get him out of there!

 

Lord Fear: No problemo!

[Lord Fear drags Testament off to a distance and whacks him of into the sun with his mallet.]

Eggman: Finally, now I can watch cheap porno and get away with it.

[Eggman walks to the VCR and popes the tape in…meanwhile, with the REAL Eggman...]

Eggman: HAH! They fell for the "Let's watch cheap porno" trick! Wait... (looks around) Guys?

Il Palazzo: (poking screen of TV) Boooooooooobiiiiiiiiiiiiiies...

Eggman: Shit...

 

Bowser: C'mon! Things are getting good!

Il Palazzo: Let's see the extras.

[They see the extras; they look at the making of the music; they see Bob tinkering with an... opera!?]

Eggman: Holy crap! BOB!!!

[Extreme time.]

Bridget: How are things going, Sonic?

Sonic: A-OK!

Knuckles: Sonic will now attempt to grind a rail from the ARK all the way to this location right here!

Tails: I know Sonic will be alright!

Sonic: (shocked) I thought I was just gonna—(gets pushed) AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Knuckles: Uh... we'll come back in a few minutes.

 

Sonic: (grinding past; on fire) ShiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-

Sephiroth: (walking along, minding own business) Ah... what a nice day... FOR SOME OF THIS!!!

[A very quick and large explosion later (complete with cheap sound effect...)]

Sephiroth: I needed that...

Sonic: (smashes into Sephiroth) -IT!!! (sets Sephiroth's hair on fire accidentally)

Sephiroth: (smelling burning) Nothing good can come out of this...

 

Eggman: Oh, Zod it!

Il Palazzo: Zod what?

Eggman: I didn't want to be an evil doctor.

Bowser: What?

Eggman: I didn't want to conquer the world, I wanted to be A LUMBERJACK!

 

Eggman: And you know what?! This isn't a Pepsi! (unzips Pepsi) It's a Pepsi Twist! (bottle is a Bebop Cola) Erm... (unzips again; correct soda) And I am not Eggman!

[Eggman unzips himself]

Shadow: (having a seizure) AGH! MY EYES!

Eggman: (looks down) Oops...

 

Yugi: (not Yami Yugi; playing guitar) The cat's in the cradle and a silver spoon. Little boy blue, the man on the moon.

Jounouchi: (Joey) Hey Yugi! I didn't know you played guitar!

Yugi: Oh, I could. I could.

Honda: (Tristan) Play another, Yugi.

Yugi: Oh, okay!

Sol: (grabs guitar away from Yugi) I'll show you a real song! (starts playing Queen's “Sheer Heart Attack”)

OH YOU'RE JUST 17!
ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS DISAPPEAR!
YOU KNOW, WHAT I MEAN!
LOTS OF THINGS BETWEEN ARE HERE!

[Wait... what about Sonic!?]

Sonic: (charred) Help me...

Faust: Poor Sonic...you need booze. (gives Sonic some money)

 

Yoda: You have the Force inside you, Eggman.

Eggman: Thank you Master Yoda.

Yoda: Now do me proud.

[Once more, on the ARK…The ARK somehow, someway fires the Random Insanity beam all over the planet. And back to Tail's House…]

Rouge: What you doing Tails?

Tails: Watching EGGMAN ON ICE!!!

Rouge: I love a man who watches EGGMAN ON ICE!!!

 

Shadow: (strums guitar a bit) I need to think up a song...

Eggman: Or-

[SMASH!!!]

 

Bridget: (strumming a guitar; singing Knuckles' theme)

 

Born on an island, in the heavens.
The blood of my ancestors flows inside me.
My duty is to save the flower,
From evil deterioration.

Knuckles: I will be the one to set your heart free true!
Cleanse yourself of them evil spirits that's in you!

Dizzy: Streaking lights, loud sounds, and instinct
Are the elements that keep me going.
I am fighting my own mission.
Nothing's gonna stand in my way.

Knuckles: I will be the one to set your heart free true!
Cleanse yourself of them evil spirits that's in you!

Eggman: And to think, this is just rehearsal.

Shadow: (in pain) Help me...that didn't work well...

Eggman: Hey! I just had a wild idea! (sets hand on fire) AGH!!! (hand burns off) Now, I have a REAL idea!

[And so...within Eggman's lab...]

Shadow: (inside one of the cloning tanks) How does your plan work?

Eggman: Why bother asking?! ENGAGE!!! (accidentally shocks Shadow) SHIT! Wrong button!

Bob Dole: Bob Dole likes peanut butter.

 

Sonic: I am heralded as a great hedgehog.

Sol: I'm a kick-ass American Gear.

Mario: I'm a great Italian-a plumber.

Naruto: And I'm Konohagakure's number 1 ninja!

[They all get squished by a Monty Python foot]

Sonic: Ow...

Naruto: I'm in pain...

 

Shadow: I shalt save you all! WITH THE HOLY HAND GRENADE! After I read the instructions... (takes out Book of Armaments) "And St. Atelah raised the Hand Grenade up on high saying, 'Oh lord, bless this thy hand grenade, so with it I may blow my enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and storks, and carps, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and livesto-

Eggman: [abruptly] Skip it...

Shadow: "And the lord spoke saying, 'First, thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shall count to three. No more, no less. Three is the number thou shall count, and the number of the counting shall be three. (everyone giving odd looks at Shadow) Four, shall thou not count, neither count thou two, accepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three been the third number been reached, then lobbist forth thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antiok towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight- shall snuff it!'"

 

{Ed. Note: *blink* Why on earth are we doing thi-you know what, screw it.}

Sonic: (in pain) AMEN AND ALL THAT SHIT! HELP US, YOU FU*(#&@(#^%$)(!^)(#$^(@!&(_%Y(*_$^($EWY(YEWHKD)@&^#$)^!(#^$!!!< /div>