Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Fellowship of the Ring (Almost) ❯ Prologue ( Prologue )

THE LORD OF THE RING

The Fellowship of the Ring (Almost)

Written by: Greg "Volkov" Paraubek

(Loosely) Based on the book by J.R.R. Tolkien and the movies by Peter Jackson

HAMMER AND SICKLE STUDIOS PRESENTS A TRILOGY BY VOLKOV "THE LORD OF THE RING" SONIC SHADOW MILES "Tails" PROWER KNUCKLES ROUGE AMY ROSE AND GORDON FREEMAN ALSO WITH G-MAN MARIO PRINCESS PEACH YODA OMOCHAO MECHA-SONIC SAURON FEATURING CERVANTES MEGABYTE INTRODUCING THE UBER, SPEAKER OF 1337 AND AGENT 47 KERRIGAN ARTHAS BORIS BIG THE CAT T-800 TERMINATOR DUFF MAN LINK SAMUS AL GORE MICHAEL JACKSON RYUDO SKYE THE ONE RING AND IN THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME DR. IVO "EGGMAN" ROBOTNIK BASED ON THE BOOKS BY J.R.R. TOLKIEN SCREENPLAY BY GREG PARAUBEK WRITTEN, PRODUCED, IMAGINED, AND DIRECTED BY GREG "VOLKOV" PARAUBEK

THESE FILMS ARE RATED R FOR: STRONG VIOLENCE, BLOOD AND GORE, ALCOHOL USE, DRUG USE, PERVASIVE ADULT LANGUAGE, SEXUAL THEMES, AND NUDITY

Note: This story has been edited slightly from the original version to get rid of all the stupid errors that pop up on mediaminer…several names have been fixed.

Disclaimer: Any characters that aren't owned by, but not limited to, Sega, Nintendo, Namco, Lucasfilm, Blizzard, Valve, and New Line Cinema, were created by me and cannot be used without my express permission. All characters, places, things, etc. and their distinctive likenesses are trademarks of their respective owners. In other words: Don't steal anything here! You will invoke the wrath of lawyers, from which is there is no escape. If you want to use any characters or things created by me, well…you can...ah…e-mail me. And please, no "leet".

Book One:

The Fellowship of the Ring (Almost)

[Black screen. The words "Lord of the Ring" appear on screen. The camera then shows the battle on the slopes of Mt. Doom.]

Yoda: There I was, 3,000 years ago…actually, Great-Grand pappy Yoda it was.

[Amidst the Elves, Men, and Dwarves, we see Great-Grand pappy Yoda fighting the Orc hordes.]

Yoda: Fight Sauron he did. On the slopes of Mt. Doom, yes. Elves, Men, and vertically-challenged folks. Near victory seemed, but *SMACK*

[Yoda goes silent. The G-Man begins to talk.]

G-Man: But the power of S-S-Sauron could not be (swallow) undone.

[Emerging from smoke, we see Sauron. He pulls out his mace and starts beating the tar out of the Good Guys.]

G-Man: When all hope s-s-seemed los-st, Is-s-sildur, s-s-son of the king, took up (swallow) his-s-s father's s-s-sword.

[Isildur bends to pick up the sword. He struggles to lift it. After a minute of struggling, it becomes obvious that the sword is too heavy for him.]

G-Man: I S-S-SAID: PICKED UP HIS-S-S FATHER'S S-S-SWORD!

Isildur: I KNOW! I'm trying to lift the damn thing!

G-Man: WEAKLING! (swallow) ITS-S-S A PLAS-S-STIC MODEL!!!

[Isildur continues to struggle with the sword. Sauron walks up and shatters the blade. Isildur still can't lift it]

G-Man: OH HELL!

[The G-Man walks onto the scene picks up the sword and beats Sauron silly with it. Sauron vanishes in a burst of flames.]

G-Man: O.K. (swallow) In any cas-s-se, Eggman found the Ring.

[The G-Man has vanished off the screen as have all the warriors. Eggman finds the One Ring and picks it up.]

Eggman: HA! I have one more ring with which Sonic can get the last bit of life he needs to defeat my next diabolical plot! Man, I'm a genius!

[Sonic runs by and takes the Ring.]

Eggman: Hey! Mine! I found it! It's my preciousss….(Pause). Hey that's my line isn't it? Right? Heellllooo? Anyone hear me? Can we retake that?

G-Man: Oh forget it, jus-s-st s-s-start the (swallow) damn s-s-story…(The G-Man suddenly loses the lisp) They don't pay me enough to talk like this and put up with this crap.