Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Fellowship of the Ring (Almost) ❯ Concerning…Something or Other ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter One: Concerning….Something or Other

[The camera pans down to show a happy village that looks suspiciously like Hobbiton, but for copyright purposes, isn't Hobbiton. Tails and Sonic are throwing a ball back and forth. Knuckles is lying on the grass staring at Rouge, who is reading a book called "How to STEAL a Million Dollars". Amy is plucking flowers in a field and trying hard not to stare at Sonic. Gordon Freeman has a HUGE butt load of weaponry on the grass in front of him, which he is vigorously cleaning (The weapons, not the grass, stupid). Knuckles gets up and walks towards Rouge. Everyone else, sensing the impending Doom about to fall upon Knuckles' head, stop what they're doing to watch.]

Knuckles: So, ah…Rouge, want to make out?

[Rouge gives a cold, piercing stare to Knuckles.]

Knuckles: (Not realizing the danger he's in) Yes? Great! I ordered this cool bed that vibrates when you….AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

[Rouge has mysteriously pulled out an Omochao which she brandishes at Knuckles, who goes into the fetal position.]

Knuckles: GET HIM AWAY! BACK DEMON! STUPID HINTS!

Tails: I wonder why Knuckles hates Omochao so much.

Sonic: It's strange…whenever he sees one he freaks out and starts yelling "Sonic Adventure 2! Jewels! Bad Levels!" Any clue what that means?

Amy: Will you go out with me if I tell you?

Sonic: Hmm….no.

[Amy breaks down in tears. Rouge has retracted the Omochao and Knuckles is starting to calm down. Shadow runs up to the gang, looking very worried.]

Shadow: Uh guys? Uh. Yeah. Yoda is here.

Sonic: Not that jerk again…

[Yoda dotters up.]

Yoda: Heard that I did.

Tails: Sonic is right, you know! Every time you show up, its bad news. First it's a dragon, then it's Robotnik, then someone steals the Master Emerald, and last time you lost your stupid walking stick!

Yoda: Annoying your voice is. Shut your mouth you will. Darkness growing in Mordor, yes. Has the One Ring, Sonic does.

Shadow: The One Ring?

Yoda: Yes. Among your rings, lies the One Ring. Take to G-Man at Black Mesa you must.

Knuckles: Great. Another adventure. I just finished re-growing all the limbs I lost last time finding that walking stick…

Sonic: Well, if it's the real One Ring we have to go to Black Mesa, talk to the G-Man and figure out what to do…

Yoda: Be careful, much power has Sauron still. Dark Riders he will send.

Amy: Pshaw! Sonic can take them!

Tails: I can take them too!

[Gordon gets up armed to the teeth with all manners of weaponry. He cocks the shotgun he's holding. Everyone goes silent.]

Rouge: You know, I think Gordon can take them.

Yoda: Borrow my car you can. Take care of her you must. Beat the shit out of you I will if you damage it.

Sonic: I'M DRIVING!!!

[Sonic and gang rush of to Yoda's car. Its one of those Volkswagon Hippie Buses. I would also like to note that it's covered in those Hippie flowers. The group piles in and sets off for Black Mesa.]