Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Return of the King, Baby! ❯ Home at Last and The End Credits ( Chapter 23 )

Chapter Twenty Three: Home at Last and The End Credits

[The camera pans along, showing a map of Middle-Earth.]

Sonic VO: And so, the Fellowship of the Ring went along its separate paths. Eggman and Samus ruled Gondor with a fair hand, only taking time out for one of Samus' 18 pregnancies, all of which gave Eggman another healthy egg shaped child. Gordon Freeman returned to Black Mesa, spending the rest of his days creating scientific things, and repelling the occasional alien invasion. Knuckles and Rouge got married (bribery is suspected). Shadow went off to have some great adventure, only to return when his poofy got too dirty. As for me and my friends…we returned to Not-Hobbiton…

[The camera shows Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Rouge walking down a small path in Not-Hobbiton. They walk by a fat guy who stares at them, making the four very uncomfortable. The camera cuts to show them sitting in a bar. Knuckles is putting the moves on Rouge…]

Knuckles: Come on! Do me!

Rouge: Knuckles…we're married…you can do me whenever you want…

Knuckles: Oh. (pause) SWEET!

Sonic: Tails? What are you looking at?

[The camera swivels to show what exactly Tails is looking at: Amy Rose.]

Amy: (drunk) Barboy! Bring me * hic* anooother beeer!

Sonic: Go on Tails, now's your chance!

[Tails gets up and bravely walks towards Amy.]

Rouge: (trying to get Knuckles' face out of her crotch) Isn't there something wrong about having him hit on a drunk girl?

Sonic: Pfah…what's the worst that could happen?

[The scene cuts to Amy and Tails at a wedding…getting married. The camera shows the crowd.]

Sonic: Okay…I stand corrected…

[Amy throws the bouquet into the crowd, and Knuckles swiftly catches it, by beating down a few weaker people.]

Knuckles: (handing the bouquet to Rouge) A token of my love!

Rouge: I'm allergic to those flowers…

[The scene slowly fades…but it is not `The End'. The scene brightens again, and we see Sonic inside his house {Author's Note: I know Sonic has no real home…deal with it.}.]

Sonic VO: Ugg…man, my leg is asleep. Maybe if I bash it against a table? (loud slamming noises) Ahh! Bleeeeeding! That's not good…

[The camera pans to the table Sonic is seated in front of. On the table there is a porno magazine. The cover is partially obscured but the words "Barely Legal" are visible.]

Sonic VO: I'm sooo bored…plus I need to get away from Tails…always coming over and annoying the tar out of me.

Voice: Hey! Sonic!

Sonic: (turning) Oh crap…

[Tails walks into the room.]

Tails: Sonic? What are you doi-(looks at the mag) Oh. I see…

Sonic: Tails, I need to get away from this place…the pain inflicted by the Ring has never really gone away…

[The scene fades again. This time, Sonic, Knuckles, Rouge, Tails, and Luigi are riding in carriage.]

Sonic VO: We all took one last journey…towards the Gray Havens…the place with all the boats…and water. And boats that float on water.

[The camera shows the five; they have arrived at the Gray Havens, and are standing on the dock, along with the G-Man, Princess Peach, and Yoda.]

Knuckles: Err...hi Yoda…

Yoda: No need to be afraid. No longer out to kill you am I.

Knuckles: Thank goodness…

[Luigi steps forward from the group, and turns to Sonic, Knuckles, Rouge, and Tails.]

Luigi: My-a work here is-a done. I shall now go with-a the Elves across the-a ocean.

Tails: Oh. Have fun!

[Luigi waves, then boards a boat.]

G-Man: S-s-sonic, it is-s-s-s (swallow) time.

[Sonic turns towards Tails, Knuckles, and Rouge.]

Sonic: Well…I guess this is good-bye…

Tails: (near tears) You can't go…you can't leave me alone!

Sonic: Tails, you have Amy there for you…

Tails: Yeah…next time I have sex with her I'll think of you!

Sonic: I don't think that will be necessary…

Knuckles: Well, the rivalry was fun…

Sonic: You do know I wasn't the one who kept stealing the Master Emerald all this time, right?

Knuckles: Wait…that wasn't you?

Sonic: Rouge, explain that to him someday…

Rouge: Sure thing…

[Sonic hugs Rouge, and attempts to get a grope in, but is swatted down. He moves to hug the puzzled Knuckles, and lastly Tails, who holds on for way too long.]

Sonic: (running out of air) You…you're crushing…my lungs…

Tails: Sonic…I'm…Sonic, it was nice knowing you…

[Sonic walks onto the boat, followed by the G-Man, and Princess Peach. The boat begins to sail away.]

Peach: (echoing) Brownies, brownies, brownies. Yummy chocolate treat!

G-Man: (echoing) Oh Christ! I don't need to (swallow) lis-s-sten to this-s-s for an eternity!

Peach: (echoing) Fun to bake! Fun to eat! Better than a cake! Brow-

[A loud crashing noise echoes along the harbor. As Tails watches the departing boat, a shape that looks oddly like Princess Peach with a few bricks attached to her leg is thrown off the boat.]

G-Man: (echoing) HA! Freedom at (swallow) las-s-s-st!

[As the boat floats into the sunset, the screen fades to white…]

~~~THE EN-(gunshot)~~~

[The camera shows Sa-err…Tails walking back to his home in Not-Hobbiton. Amy comes out the door, and practically jumps on him, hugging him passionately.]

Tails: Well…thank God that's all over…

~~~THE END~~~

[The screen goes black and the names of the all the characters, where they're from, and some random statement about each one scroll across the screen. Some sad music plays while the credits scroll by.]

Sonic the Hedgehog; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; really fast

Miles "Tails" Prower; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; he's actually not gay

Knuckles the Echidna; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; actually is my favorite `Sonic' character

Shadow the Hedgehog; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; he is not the faker

Rouge the Bat; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; how can she fly with a chest like that?

Amy Rose; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; God, do I hate this annoying character

Big the Cat; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; I hate those fishing levels! May whoever designed them burn in hell.

Gordon Freeman; from the "Half-Life" games by Valve; quietest (and nerdiest) bad ass ever

The G-Man; from the "Half-Life" games by Valve; dude with the creepiest voice

Mario; from the "Mario" games by Nintendo; Italian plumber who saves the world on a daily basis…just like all the real Italian plumbers do

Luigi; from the "Mario" games by Nintendo; the overlooked world saving Italian plumber

Princess Peach; from the "Mario" games by Nintendo; she loves them brownies!

Yoda; from the "Star Wars" movies; talk funny he does

Omochao; from the "Sonic" games; I hate you Omochao! Die devil!

Mecha Sonic; from the "Sonic" games; pretty bad ass looking

Cervantes; from the "Soul Calibur" games by Namco; I could own you all in Soul Calibur II as Cervantes! Because my soul still burns!

Megabyte; from the TV show "ReBoot"; character with the absolute most awesome voice EVER. I want your voice! Gimme!

The Uber, Speaker of 1337; from my own imagination; inspired by all the sad nerds out there!

Agent 47; from the "Hitman" games by IO Interactive; barcode fashion statement

Sarah Kerrigan; from the "StarCraft" games by Blizzard; infested Zerg babe who would probably tear your eyes out

Arthas; from "WarCraft III: The Frozen Throne"; pansy

T-800 Terminator; from the "Terminator" movies; Ah-nuld!

Duff Man; from the TV show "The Simpsons"; oh yeah!

Wind Waker Link; from the "Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker" game by Nintendo; most likely to accidentally get stepped on

Spider-Man; from "Spider-Man" games, movies, and comics; upside down wet t-shirt kiss with Mary Jane

Samus; from the "Metroid" games by Nintendo; damn sexy space babe in a skin tight suit…roowr…space thong!

Lumina Flowlights; from the game "Sonic Shuffle" by Sega; honestly, no one cared where the next stone was

Al Gore; from `Real Life' by God; just shut up already!

Michael Jackson a.k.a. "Jacko"; from "Al's Plastic Surgery Shop" on North Main Street, California; scares small children

Ryudo; from the game "Grandia II" by Game Arts; most unbelievably depressing video game hero…shut up dude! You've got three hot chicks who want to bang you!

Skye; from the game "Grandia II" by Game Arts; pompous dork

Master Chief; from the "Halo" games by Bungie; you know he and Cortana were "interfacing" during the whole game

The One Ring; from the Fires of Mt. DOOM; single most valuable piece of jewelry ever

Sauron; from the "Lord of the Rings" movies and books by Peter Jackson and J.R.R. Tolkien respectively; coolest villain ever!

Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik; from the "Sonic" games by Sega; making world domination fun since 1992

And…

Boris; from "Red Alert 2: Yuri's Revenge" by the late Westwood Studios; possibly the first Soviet to destroy a CVS pharmacy in Middle-Earth and a professional pansy-hater

[The screen goes black.]

~~~THE END~~~

~~~For real this time~~~

~~~Seriously, I'm not kidding~~~

~~~Or am I?~~~

~~~Wait…the credits already scrolled by…~~~

~~~Which means…~~~

~~~This really is THE END~~~

{Author's Note: Thanks for reading through this. I sank a lot of time and effort into this…and so did you if you got this far and actually read the whole thing. So how about you be kind and review? It would make me happy, and your (constructive) criticism can make future efforts of mine much better. Anyways, I'd like to thank Peter Jackson for creating the incredible "Lord of the Rings" movies. Also, I'd like to give "mad props" to J.R.R. Tolkien for writing the books in the first place. Hmm…who else to thank? Well, I can thank the "Triple Peeps"…you could say their stories influenced me to write this, so the least you could do is read their stuff. Don't worry…it's better than this was. Also, a shout out to all my friends (I'm talking to all one of you!) And finally, big thanks to anyone who sat through and read (and possibly reviewed, hint-hint) the 100+ pages of my "Lord of the Ring" trilogy, you guys (and possibly a few gals) are the coolest! See you later!}

~~~THE END~~~