Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Disillusion ❯ Confession ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Sorcerer Hunters, but that hasn't stopped me from writing about them. Although, perhaps I should...

Warning: This story contains the themes of incest, maybe some violence, sex (a bit graphic in scenes), and male/male relationships. If any of these may offend you then stop reading. If, however, you do read this, in spite of my warnings, and find it offensive then I have to say it is your own fault. Some scenes are of an erotic nature, but I have attempted to write them as tastefully as my ability allows.

So, anyway, please review and no flames. (Deus, you've read this story! Prepare for death!)

Much Love,

S-girl

Disillusion

"What's marriage?" Mother giggled and murmured to my father how cute I was. Both of them smiled at each other in the sort of way that most children learn to interpret: they were about to have a moment of romantic nostalgia.

"It's when two people who love each other very much decide to live together forever," Mother told me with one of her warm smiles.

"Despite the fact that one of them might snore like a rockslide," my father quipped with an affectionate laugh. My mother gave him a mock glare and then patted me on the head.

"If you find someone to love, never let her go." In my young mind I mulled this over before nodding my acceptance.

I looked up at my kind-hearted mother and asked her to marry me. Both of my parents broke down laughing and continued for some time. At that age I couldn't understand what they had found so humorous about my question. After all, hadn't it been they who told me only to marry someone I loved?

"Marron-sweetie, I'm already married to your father. You can only marry one person. So you have to make sure that person is the right one." She kissed my cheek and my father came over to ruffle my hair. I still felt confused over the whole issue of marriage and all the hitherto unknown technicalities, but their warmth and obvious love eased my mind.

"Go out and play. Get some fresh air," my father told me as he swept my mother up into his arms. She shrieked cheerfully and swatted him on the head. He kissed her and I turned away before I saw anymore. My brother always made faces and rude noises when our parents decided to be romantic. I honestly couldn't blame him for that.

I quickly left the house in search of my dear brother. Since his health had returned a month ago, he had decided that he wasn't going to spend any more time indoors than our parents forced him to. I found him lounging under a large tree and staring absently at the fleecy clouds that dotted the azure sky. With our parent's conversation still pregnant in my mind I hurried up to him.

"What's up, Marron?" I loved him and they had told me that, if I found someone I loved, I should marry that person.

"Will you marry me, brother?" He blinked in surprise and then grinned with amusement.

"You can't ask me that, Marron. Only girls and boys get married." I looked down, crestfallen. Mother and father hadn't told me that.

"But I love you," I told him softly. I wanted to stay with him forever. I wanted him to be my big brother forever.

"Same here," he returned with an affectionate smile. He patted the grass next to him and beckoned me to sit down. I obeyed immediately and watched him watching the sky. "Hey, Marron."

"Yes?"

"What do you want to be when you get older?"

* * *

The sorcerer had time to scream out a denial of his eminent demise before a gargantuan, hairy fist crushed him into the shattered marble floor. The Minotaur reared up and howled with destructive pleasure. Satisfaction burned in its fire-red eyes as it reduced the mansion about it to rubble. Amid the billowing dust and falling debris two peopled watched impassively.

"Tira."

"I'm on it." The titian-haired girl snapped the whip between her hands and grinned eagerly. The Minotaur opened its gapping maw and issued a monstrous growl, which was cut short by an equally monstrous sneeze. "Did…Did he just sneeze?"

"Apparently," Marron replied with a perplexed frown.

"Good. I thought I was hearing things." With a wicked laugh the dominatrix launched herself at the rampaging monster.

* * *

Carrot Glace sneezed and ignored the concerned look Tira shot him across the fire. He had been doing that a lot since falling into the pond. He feared the worst. He must've caught a cold from the chill. Of course it hadn't helped that Mille Feuille had accosted him before he could change his clothes. The exertion had probably...No, he wouldn't think about that right now. Instead he poked the blazing campfire with a stick.

"Are you sure you're okay, Carrot? You looked a little flushed," Tira told him worriedly. The stick fell from his fingers and he proceeded to slap his cheeks. He had fallen into another bout of blushing. He had been doing that a lot lately, too, ever since the other day with...Why did everything go back to that?

"I'm fine. Never felt better."

"Did I whip you too hard?"

"No harder than usual," he hastily assured her. He really wished she would stop bothering him, but he couldn't get angry with her. After all she was merely concerned with his well being.

She made a small sound of uncertainty and carefully scrutinized him. He squirmed under her gaze and hoped that she would get the hint that there was nothing wrong. Never mind that he was in serious mental anguish over the state of his sexuality and everything he thought he knew. Wait! Where did that come from? He'd sworn to himself that he'd stop thinking about it.

"What's that on your neck?" He froze, mind a complete blank. Then incoherent babble replaced the blankness and he found himself no better off.

"My…my neck? What are you talking about, Tira?" He clapped an embarrassed hand over the red mark he knew to be there.

"That red splotch," Tira continued. Carrot turned away from her to find Marron watching him intently.

"It's probably only a rash," Carrot muttered looking at the ground. Actually it was Mille Feuille's parting present. A little token so that Carrot wouldn't forget him, as if he could. The boy blushed and fingered the mark. He could still feel the Knights insistent mouth…No, he couldn't. He didn't feel anything. There was nothing there. It was just…just…

He needed to be somewhere alone, away from everybody. Thoughts boiled restlessly through the cavities of his brain and allowed no rest. He had to find a place away from his companions to just sit and think. If he didn't, the thoughts would erupt from his mouth and then there would be hell to pay. Plunging into action wouldn't help, or at least change the situation like it had so many times before. For once he had to actually consider the past instead of charging into a blind future.

The last thing he needed was everyone watching him and pointing out the little reminders that plagued him. He couldn't stand it anymore. Why couldn't they stare at the fire or anywhere else?

"I have to pee," he announced jumping to his feet. His companions blinked in surprise. "I'll…I'll be back in…yeah." He shrugged awkwardly and fled into the woods.

Assured of at least a couple minutes of privacy, Carrot navigated the darkness and maze of tree trunks till he felt adequately far away. With a sigh he sunk to the ground and started to think. It was time for his mind and libido to have a heart-to-heart, as it were.

First there had been no lack of energy in the desire department upon seeing those robust, and busty, young women town. So on that note he didn't have to worry too much. He still liked the ladies. But then that came to the second problem bothering him: Mille Feuille.

Carrot groaned in frustration and hit himself. That same damn reaction also happened around the Haz Knight. He couldn't possible be attracted to a guy, not after an entire life spent chasing after females. Thanks to the second encounter he couldn't discount it as a freak reaction, something that wouldn't happen again. Why couldn't he have the comfort of a lie? Why did Mille have to push the issue? Why didn't he resist more…?

Everything had changed. His imperfect, but contented life, had shredded and left him without an anchor. He was Carrot Glace, Messenger of Love, wasn't he? That didn't change just because…

"I am…I am."

Maybe it was he who had changed…No! He was the same. He refused to concede the slightest possibility of a difference. His mind told him he didn't like Mille that way, didn't like what he did to him, but his libido was quite happy to play the Knight's game. The blood in his cheeks rushed lower at the very thought of the type of game the Knight enjoyed.

"Stupid body." Why couldn't he control it? Why did it always betray him? Again only questions piled up. His mind seemed to be at a standstill with his desire and his body had ideas of its own.

The mark on his neck was only a few days old, but it still felt tender as if fresh. Carrot squeezed his eyes shut and tugged ineffectually at his spiked hair. The mark was the result of their, Carrot and Mille's, third encounter, as the boy had come to term the meetings. He had been on his way to gather his sword in preparation for the departure later that day. Big Mama had had a mission for them. Confident that Mama would probably have some other task for the tenacious Knight; Carrot had strolled down the hallway to his room with blithe unconcern. Mille had seemed to appear out of thin air. Before the boy could squeak out his normal litany of protests he had found himself pressed against the wall with the Knight's mouth moving purposefully against his own.

A small shiver raced through Carrot's body at the memory. That same voracious mouth had trailed moistly to his neck and the frenetic pulse at its base. He had only been able to mewl helplessly, wishing for something else. Yes, he had wanted Mille to do more and had been surprised when nothing more had happened.

"Remember me," Mille had said softly, warm breath brushing against the boy's ear. Then the Knight had vanished, leaving Carrot in a state of physical frustration. Even remembering that brought back the same all too familiar ache. He hadn't had to time to 'relieve' himself of it before, having to meet up with the rest of his companions, but now…

"Brother?" Carrot shot to his feet so fast he saw silver flecks whirl across his vision. Guiltily he hid his hands behind his back even though he hadn't actually started to do anything with them.

"Marron?" he squeaked as the pale shape of his brother appeared in the forest-darkness. The younger boy smiled with relief at having found his sibling. "Do you…want something…right now?"

"I need to talk to you." Marron moved closer with a hesitance that perplexed Carrot.

"Oh sure. What's on your mind?" Silence ensued and the elder boy waited with tolerant patience. There was no use in rushing the younger boy. Carrot sneezed during the interlude of silence and blushed in embarrassment. He sure knew how to ruin a moment.

"I-I…want to tell you something and…I'm not sure how…e-exactly…" Carrot made a face at his brother's evasiveness and ran a hand through his hair. Perhaps whatever had brought Marron to his room the other day was the purpose of this conversation as well. The elder boy paused to think on that for a moment. So what did his little brother need to get off his chest?

"Can you give me a general idea? Are you having some sort of…I don't know…difficulty with something?" A shadow slid across the younger boy's face and obscured his face, but Carrot swore he saw a blush.

"Y-yes. What I want to say is rather difficult to…tell…to tell you." Carrot puzzled over the nervous tension that filled the air about his brother. He cocked his head to one side and began to add things up in his head. So he had a stuttering, nervous, possibly blushing younger brother who was having trouble explaining what was on his mind. What did that come out to? Could it be…Marron…? That had to be it…

"I think I understand," Carrot announced grandly. The younger boy blinked in surprise and trepidation.

"Y-you do?"

"So…who's the lucky girl?"

"What?" The elder boy frowned at his sibling's blatant shock.

"You know, the girl you like. The one you're trying to tell me about," Carrot persisted. "Do I know her? Is she nice? Is she hot?"

"It's not that…"

"Come one, Marron. You can't act all reserved and stuff around her. If you don't tell someone you like her then well…you'll miss out, let me tell you. Do you need some help? Some coaching?"

"That's not necessary, brother. You misunderstand…"

"If there's anyway I can help, ask. I'll give you all the help you need. I can't believe my little brother has finally discovered girls. Just say the word and I'll give you whatever you need to succeed."

Marron laughed softly, sadly. He sounded close to tears. Carrot frowned. Had he guessed wrong? If he had, then he had just really put his foot in his mouth.

"Marron?" the elder boy queried with worry.

"I…I want you." Carrot blinked.

"W-what?"

"I want you…as a lover."

Carrot's mind decided that it hadn't been properly prepared for such a confession and promptly took a vacation. His pulse thundered riotously through his ears, even as his brother's misery-filled words galloped through his consciousness. Want? His brother wanted…No…

"Marron…I-I'm sorry, but I can't…can't be that for you. I can't…"

* * *

"…I can't…"

His words slammed into me with the force of the heavens. I watched his face pale in the wan light filtering through the otherwise dark forest. A strange expression flittered across his face and then nothing. His face showed no emotions, but I could see, despite the night, the turmoil and sorrow chasing each other through his eyes.

"I can't," he repeated and then plunged into the heartless darkness of the forest.

"Brother!" I reached for him, pleading, hurt. Everything had fallen about me and my long time fears had produced bitter fruit. My confession had torn apart the very ground beneath my feet and hurtled me down into a bile-filled despair. I was the one who destroyed the relationship between my brother and I. I had just single handedly crushed it with my selfish desires.

How could I do that to him? How could I be so insensitive, so careless? I knew such an admission would hurt him, yet I had persisted. I should have been content to watch him from a distance, desire him in secret.

I couldn't blame Mille for the turn our lives had taken, although he had goaded me on to this heart shattering confrontation. Secretly I had always hoped for acceptance and open arms. I dreamed of it almost every night, but it was just that, a dream.

Knives of misery speared my heart and left it a bleeding mass in my chest. My knees gave out and I crumpled to the ground. The first sob emerged painfully, sticking in my throat for a moment. My fingers dug into the damp, leaf filled earth and I cried. I cried for myself, for the contentment I had thrown away.

The precious bond between my brother and I had been irrevocably changed, if not broken entirely. We could never go back to the way things had been. My confession and his subsequent rejection would stand between us like silent sentinels, walls separating us. I had done that. I could not exculpate myself from guilt.

I had lost him, perhaps forever

* * *

Tira Misu glanced worriedly between the two brothers. Something had happened, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what. Tension, like thick ropes, lashed through the air between the two boys. Carrot stared determinedly at the fire, as if it would show him the answers to whatever problem plagued him. Marron looked…cold, emotionally numb.

"Carrot, what happened?" she demanded in a low whisper. The older boy refused to look up or even answer. "Carrot."

"Nothing. You guys can sleep. I'll take first watch." He turned his back to his companions and gazed off into the forest.

"Carrot…" Tira turned to his brother for help, but Marron was watching Carrot with the strangest expression on his pale face. Something most definitely had happened between them, but what?

Sighing, the titian-haired girl decided she could bother them in the morning. The problem would probably still be there. Honestly, though, what could have put a wedge between two people who were so close?

Before she drifted fully off to sleep she heard Carrot sneeze loudly. She'd have to talk to him about that too in the morning. But for now…sleep…

* * *

From Sarryn:

Don't hate me for that little thing between Marron and Carrot! I just don't think Carrot would fall into his brother's arms so readily. After all he is filled up with all those false notions of masculinity (I blame his father, sorta…). Look how long it's taken the boy to even attempt to accept Mille, which he still hasn't managed to do. I think it'll take more work from Marron to catch our confused little boy. But don't worry, I did say this would be a love triangle. I just never said it would be easy for anyone.

There was only one question and it wasn't really one, but anyway. Sorry, but no Mille x Marron pairing. It's all about the Carrot! Party on the west side…or not…If you are looking for that pairing I think I've seen a few up, can't remember what they're called though. Unfortunately I probably won't write one because I'm so obsessed with Carrot and pairing him with hot guys. Yeah, enough of that though…I'm crazy.

I don't really have a rant, as of yet (working on it!), but ~I~ have a question for all my readers (you're cool!): who should be Carrot's first? I still haven't decided on the threesome thing, but I don't think he's ready, yet, if ever, for more than one. So who should be his first? Mille or Marron? Please tell me and give me some reasons why, if you could. That's all!

Now please REVIEW!!

Next Chapter:

Carrot's sneezes prove to be something worse and Marron confronts a lingering nightmare from his childhood.

From Sarryn:

Answering questions and blah blah blah. Yep, I'll think of a good rant by then, promise!