Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction ❯ Letting go ❯ Finding Carrot ( Chapter 4 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Lemony Chocolate 
Well, Marron's found Carrot....what to do.....what to do....what to do?
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 04.29.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.5K | Visits: 314 | Status: Work In Progress
Well, Marron's found Carrot....what to do.....what to do....what to do?
Anime/Manga: Sorcerer Hunters Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 04.29.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.5K | Visits: 314 | Status: Work In Progress
TITLE: Chapter 4
AUTHOR: Lemony Chocolate
EMAIL: wmj166@msn.com
WEB SITE:
RATING: HARD R if not NC-17 NOT FOR ANYONE UNDER 17
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Sorcerer Hunters.
FEEDBACK: Hell yeah, uhm yes please.
DISTRIBUTION: Archive away
SPOILERS: none that I can think of.
SUMMARY:
Please note: This story may or may not contains the themes of incest, mild violence, sex and/or male/male relationships (more like than not). If any of these may offend you then STOP READING IMMEDIATELY. If you choose to continue despite my warning, please DO NOT come crying to me.
Note: Comments and criticisms are very much welcome, flames, however are most definitely NOT. Flames generally include a lot of pointless talk about the author's lack of morals, scruples, etc. and to be really perfectly frank, I really don't care. If you don't like the stories I write, please do us both a favor and DON'T READ THEM! It's as simple as that.
That being said, please read and review. Remember though NO FLAMES!
FEED MY NEED FOR FEEDBACK! FEED ME....FEED ME......FEED MEEEEEE!
* * *
Marron clutched the piece of paper firmly in his hand, finally he would see his niisan! While he was still furious at Gateau, he knew he had only himself to blame for what HE had allowed to happen between him and Carrot. Gateau had gone a long way towards redeeming himself by finding out where Carrot was and he had also warned him that it may not be easy to convince Carrot to come back. Marron dismissed his worry, confident that once he explained things to Carrot, apologized, groveled, begged and pleaded, Carrot would come back to him, to the team, he amended his thought swiftly.
He felt a little guilty because he knew Gateau was still in love with him, but even after all of this time, he couldn't bring himself to give his heart to him. There was another that held his heart and someday soon, he was going to find his fantasy lover and be with him forever. That is, if his niisan approved-- he had learned his lesson, he thought wryly.
He had already checked into the hotel, knowing that he had four short weeks to accomplish his goal of getting Carrot to come home. If he was unhappy, this would be much easier to do...but if he was happy, Marron bit his lip--his eyes unhappy as he sighed-- then he wouldn't try to convince him. He'll just apologize for hurting him and go away.
He pushed open the door to the club, searching for his niisan, scanning the patrons before his eyes stopped on a long-hair man.
"Niisan," he breathed excitedly, trying to control himself, distantly remembering Gateau's warning, "Marron he's not the same as when he left. He's gotten harder and colder, so be careful. He's with a group that cares for him fiercely and they might not like you barging in trying to take him away from them, especially since they know someone from our side hurt him." Marron had nodded soberly, hardly listening to Gateau's warning, he was finally going to see his niisan!
He glided gracefully through the throng of dancers, his eyes firmly fixed on his niisan.
Caught up in his excitement, he didn't see the changes in Carrot. Another person wouldn't have recognizable Carrot. Gone was the familiar outfit of tan pants and tank top, gone was the shaggy mane. Now, Carrot's hair was bone straight, reaching well past his shoulders, and hanging in his face, obscuring his eyes. His clothes made of black sleek leather. Making an entirely different, more deadlier looking Carrot.
Reaching the table he stopped short a few feet away and softly called, "Niisan," watching as Carrot's head jerked his way. Marron recoiled slightly at the cold hardness in Carrot's eyes as his hair briefly shifted, revealing his face. He watched as Carrot's lips thinned for a second as the other four people at the table looked at him with varying degrees of coolness in their eyes.
"Marron," Carrot acknowledged him with a slow tilt of his head. "How did you find me," he asked coolly.
"Gateau gave me your address," Marron said hesitantly and took a couple of steps forward.
"Gateau," Carrot said his lips tightening into a flat line, "I should have known better than to think he would keep his mouth shut."
Marron digested his words, "You didn't want to be found," he said slowly.
"No," Carrot said shortly, lifting his drink to his mouth.
His teammates ignored the exchange, if Carrot needed them then they would be there for him.
"By me," Marron said quietly, his eyes searching the hard face.
"What do you think," Carrot mocked him, gazing at him steadily over the rim of his glass.
"I see," Marron stood straighter, his eyes becoming blank, "Is there someplace that we can talk, privately," he asked glancing around the crowded room.
"We can talk right here," Carrot said coolly, his eyes hard, "I have no secrets from my friends," he added, stressing the last words.
Marron flinched and paled, this conversation was not going the way he imagined it. He imagined that he would talk to his niisan, cry, throw himself in Carrot's arms, cry some more, grovel, beg and plead before his niisan magnanimously forgave him, all in private of course. He trembled slightly, what if Carrot refused to listen to him?
"Niisan, please," Marron pleaded softly, his eyes beseeching.
The two men at the table looked away in discomfort, not wanting to abandon Carrot but uncomfortable at the naked emotion in Marron's eyes.
"No," Carrot said, his eyes blank. "We talk here or you go away."
Marron opened his mouth and slowly closed it, blinking furiously against the threatened tears. He bowed and departed, he was NOT going to give up!
Carrot slowly released the pent up tension with a long drawn out sigh, slumping in his seat. Slowly unclenching his hand from around his glass, he had nearly shattered it he was gripping it so hard.
"Dammmmn," Celery exclaimed, his eyes wide, "I thought he was going to burst into tears for a second there!"
"Yeah, me too," Cattail said, "Man, I don't know how you resisted not going with him. If my little brother looked at me like that I would have done anything for him!"
Malt glided up and took the remaining seat in time to hear Carrot snort, "Not Marron. The last thing you will EVER see is Marron having an emotional scene in public. I'm surprised to see him here, confronting me in front of everyone, he's never been outspoken like this."
"Marron," Malt said, "That's your little brother, right," glancing at Carrot inquiringly who didn't answer; he turned to Celery for confirmation.
Carrot ignored the talk around him, gazing at the table top. Peanut touched his arm lightly, peering at him with gentle eyes.
"Are you okay," she asked quietly, concern evident in her eyes.
In the three short months he had been with the group, they had come to care deeply for the vulnerable young man. The pain and torment in his eyes tearing at their hearts. He had seemed so lost and broken when he had joined them, unsure about his place in their group, his abilities as a fighter.
She reflected how it was her gentle sister, Pecan that had healed his troubled spirit, guiding him gently back to calmer shores. His nightmares had finally ceased and with extensive practices, his fighting ability had increased phenomenally. He was truly an awesome, beautiful fighter to watch---deadly speed imbrued with predatory grace.
Carrot looked into Peanut's concerned faced and nodded slowly, "Yeah, I'm okay," he said quietly, "I wish I could forget how much he means to me, I mean, how much he meant to me," he hastily tried to correct himself.
"And you think that if he talks to you that you'll go back and be in the same predicament as before," Celery said shrewdly, listening to their conversation. He remembered just how woefully inadequate Carrot felt when he had first arrived. After fighting with them only one day, he wanted to quit---believing himself totally useless to them! But Celery saw the latent possibilities lurking within the boy and with his twin's help he was determined to bring it to full bloom. Gratified that in the three months he had changed Carrot's outlook in himself---Carrot had become one of the most deadliest fighters on the continent. He shivered with pleasure, calling to mind the deadly grace that was Carrot.
Carrot nodded his head slowly, "It hurt so much when he turned away from me," he half whispered, "I thought that I would die! We were so damn close to each other that when he cut me off like that....," he broke off, his lips pressed together in a hard line of pain. Fighting to control his emotions, he took a much needed breath and continued huskily, "It felt like he was deliberately trying to hurt me. He keep drifting further and further away from me and no matter what I did, not matter what I said, it wasn't enough... I wasn't good enough to be his brother anymore. I finally called it quits the day I overheard him agreeing with Gateau that I was ugly and useless," Carrot choked out, trying not to cry in front of his friends.
He got up abruptly, "I got to go," and tried to rush from the club, crashing into Malt.
"Need any company," Malt purred, hating to see that look on Carrot's face. The others chuckled and rolled their eyes, well used to him flirting with Carrot. Everyone thought he was just being his usual flirtatious self but they were wrong. He really did care for Carrot, he might even be in love with him. He hated to see sadness on Carrot's face, Carrot's face was made for joy---for smiling. Even when he was tired to his core, it always lifted his spirit and everyone else's to see Carrot and his beautiful smile. He smoothed back a lock of white-blond hair behind his ear, ignoring the avid gaze of the majority of the club goers.
Carrot smiled and rolled his eyes, "No, I don't but thanks anyway for the offer Malt," he said sincerely. He knew Malt was interested in him, why he had absolutely no idea, but he wasn't interested in him and he sure as hell wasn't gay! A fact that Malt willfully ignored as totally unimportant. Carrot sighed at least he wasn't constantly jumping on him like Mille did, Malt was just more subtle at trying to seduce him.
"Carrot," Celery called from the table, "If you need to talk, you know where we are, right?"
Carrot's face soften, "Yeah man, I know and thanks!" And he left the club in a lighter mood.
Carrot stepped out of the club and walked a few paces when he saw Marron leaning against the wall. He stopped abruptly, knowing that the other had been waiting for him to exit the club. He looked wistfully behind him to the safety of the club before squaring his shoulders and walking forward, ignoring Marron who fell in step beside him.
They walked in silence for several minutes, tension rising between them. Carrot gritted his teeth, he would be damned if he would speak first. Let Marron speak, he thought viciously, he was the one that sought HIM out!
Marron searched desperately for the words that he had practiced so assiduously on the way here and he couldn't recall a single word. Finally, he blurted out, "I'm sorry niisan!"
Carrot saw red, "Sorry?! Sorry?! Is that all you fucking have to say?!" He screamed at the trembling boy, "How about 'Carrot, I'm sorry that I shut you out of my life'; or maybe 'Carrot I fucked up'." He looked at Marron, "Better yet 'Carrot, I didn't mean to call you ugly and useless'," he whispered, remembered the pain and hurt shining in his eyes as a gentle breeze softly lifted his hair from his face.
Marron caught his breath the pain deep in his niisan's eyes and he stretched out a hand--- pleadingly---his hand falling away at the flinch from Carrot.
"Niisan, I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you. I don't know why I did or even said those thing about you. I got so caught up in listening to Gateau, believing everything he said about you, about me, lapping up all his flattery. I didn't know what to do, who to believe, until it became easier to believe what he said," Marron tried to explain. He fell silent, watching the still figure, searching his niisan's eyes for forgiveness, for understanding.
Finally Carrot stirred, "You should have walked away," and he left Marron standing on the sidewalk. Alone.
Marron gasped at the burning pain in his chest, a choked sob coming from his throat, "Oh my niisan, what have I done to you, what have I done to us?"
* * *
For the next week, Marron turned into a stalker. Doing everything he could to try to talk to Carrot. At first, each time he appeared, Carrot would turn and walk away. Carrot's friends were having a wonderful opportunity laughing at the both of them, calling Marron the DARK STALKER; and they were cracking up at the way Carrot would turn tail and run away from Marron. They mocked him for his bravery facing deadly sorcerers but hiding from his little baby brother. But underneath all the laughter was concern for Carrot. They just wanted him to be happy; and while they were slightly sympathetic to Marron they refused to help him. They wanted Carrot to be happy but weren't sure that Marron and his group would or could make Carrot happy.
* * *
Every time he got close enough to talk to Carrot, that white hair man, would come up and start whispering in his niisan's ear----distracting him. Marron saw the jealousy and resentment in the man's cold eyes and realized that Malt had no intention of letting the two of them be alone anywhere fearing that he would convince Carrot to leave. He had managed to talk to Carrot privately once, he had apologized and groveled but he knew that forgiveness was a long way off.
He had finally managed to get them to invite him into their hotel room, thinking that he would be able to corner his niisan and talk to him, but once again Malt waltzed up to them just as he opened his mouth and snatched Carrot away. Marron gritted his teeth, trying to control his temper. Frustrated rage and jealousy had driven him out onto the balcony.
Inside the three friends looked at the still figure outside, each wondering when his control would break, when he would finally give up and leave. Peanut and Celery turned and looked at Cattail who just sighed, knowing that he had just been volunteered to go out on the balcony to talk to Marron.
Marron heard the door open and close and spared a glance behind him, this was the first time any one of Carrot's friends at voluntarily spent any amount of time around him. You would think he had some sort of contagious disease, he thought wryly, his ill mood lifting slightly.
"Hurts doesn't it?" Cattail commented quietly, gazing at Marron.
"Pardon," Marron asked quietly, his brows lifting inquiringly.
"I said it hurts when Carrot turns away from you? When Malt constantly distracts his attention from you, leaving you alone. It hurts that Carrot seems to prefer someone else's attention over being with you, turning away from you every time you come close," Cattail said coolly.
Marron narrowed his eyes slightly at the red-headed man, this had all been orchestrated and he said this aloud, anger evident in his voice.
Cattail shook his head, "Oh no, Malt is sincerely interested in your brother. He's afraid that if you get a chance to talk to Carrot you'll wind up convincing him to go back with you and, that is something he's determined to prevent. You see, he doesn't trust you to see to Carrot's happiness, to give him the love he's entitled."
"I'm his brother," Marron said coldly, "Of course I love him." He was furious! How dare these people judge him?!
"Then why did he look so lost and broken when he came to us? Why did it take weeks for his nightmares to stop? Why was he convinced that he was useless, ugly, good for nothing? The only person that could have hurt him so badly was you. Your opinion, your love, your support was all he's ever needed. It was all he's ever had from anyone. He gave you everything of himself and you gave him the back of your hand. So you see, Marron, WE don't trust you to see to Carrot's well being. Go home, Marron Glace. There's nothing for you here. Carrot's finally happy and we will do anything to make sure he stays that way. It took us over two months to get him to smile and laugh and we will not let you just come in and jeopardize everything we worked so hard to accomplish with him. So go home," and Cattail opened the door, spilling the sound of Carrot delighted laughter onto the balcony as he chased Peanut around the room.
Marron walked forward, hypnotized by that beautiful sound of joy. A sound that he hadn't heard in so LONG! He gazed at Carrot's face, seeing the joy and happiness virtually shining from every pore of his body and he smiled to see Carrot happy. His smiled faded as Carrot looked around and saw him and instantly, as if a switch had been thrown, all the joy and happiness on Carrot's face was gone, replaced by tense wariness.
Malt smirked at the stricken look on Marron's face, GOOD! He thought viciously, let him feel how Carrot felt. His eyes glittered angrily, he threw Carrot away like a piece of trash and now he wants him back? HA!
Carrot tensed when he saw Marron framed in the doorway and stopped chasing Peanut. He knew Marron hated when he chased after girls and things were going so well between them that he didn't want to cause any problems.
He didn't want to go back to being the same old Carrot, to go back to being useless, but he missed Tira and Chocolate. He missed his family. Maybe if he invited Marron to his party tomorrow night---extending an olive branch---it would put Marron in a better mood.
With an extreme effort to look casual he made his way over to Marron, "Uhm, I was wondering.....uhm," he rubbed the back of his head nervously, "Some of my friends are giving me a party tomorrow night and I...uhm...ah was wondering if you would like to....uhm.....stop in for a minute," Carrot said in a final rush.
Marron looked down, seeing the uncertainty and fear of rejection in his niisan's eyes, he mourned that he had been the one to put that look in Carrot's eyes. Slowly he smiled, "I would be delighted to attend. What's the party for," he asked, joy filling his heart as he saw his niisan's eyes begin to shine.
"Oh, I don't know. We have parties about a couple of times a month, just giving presents and having a good time," Carrot shrugged, "So you'll come? You don't need to bring me a present or anything," he said anxiously. "Maybe after the party we could talk," he asked hopefully.
"Niisan, I would be happy to bring you a present and I would love to talk more with you after the party," Marron said quietly, searching Carrot's wide eyes. Slowly, he raised his hand, fearing that Carrot would flinch away at the last minute and gently stroked Carrot's cheek.
Carrot blinked at the hand touching his cheek, feeling the familiar touch, feeling the pull of home. He sighed, he didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted so much to stay with his friends, they were safe and familiar. They gave him love and support. But he missed home, he missed the girls, he missed Marron!
"I'll see you tomorrow okay," he said quietly, looking up into Marron's face.
"I'll be there," Marron said equally quietly, and turned to go, "Thank you for inviting me."
"Marron wait," Carrot called, unaware that his friends had stopped talking and were watching the unfolding drama.
Marron turned around, his brow arching up inquiringly, watching him fidget before his niisan flung his arms around him in a bone crushing hug. Reflexively he hugged his niisan back, almost in tears at feeling the beloved arms around him again. Quietly whispering into Carrot's ear, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
Carrot drew back and studied Marron's sad eyes, "I know, Marron, I know. Goodnight," and kissed him on the cheek and let him go to his own room.
tbc
AUTHOR: Lemony Chocolate
EMAIL: wmj166@msn.com
WEB SITE:
RATING: HARD R if not NC-17 NOT FOR ANYONE UNDER 17
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Sorcerer Hunters.
FEEDBACK: Hell yeah, uhm yes please.
DISTRIBUTION: Archive away
SPOILERS: none that I can think of.
SUMMARY:
Please note: This story may or may not contains the themes of incest, mild violence, sex and/or male/male relationships (more like than not). If any of these may offend you then STOP READING IMMEDIATELY. If you choose to continue despite my warning, please DO NOT come crying to me.
Note: Comments and criticisms are very much welcome, flames, however are most definitely NOT. Flames generally include a lot of pointless talk about the author's lack of morals, scruples, etc. and to be really perfectly frank, I really don't care. If you don't like the stories I write, please do us both a favor and DON'T READ THEM! It's as simple as that.
That being said, please read and review. Remember though NO FLAMES!
FEED MY NEED FOR FEEDBACK! FEED ME....FEED ME......FEED MEEEEEE!
* * *
Marron clutched the piece of paper firmly in his hand, finally he would see his niisan! While he was still furious at Gateau, he knew he had only himself to blame for what HE had allowed to happen between him and Carrot. Gateau had gone a long way towards redeeming himself by finding out where Carrot was and he had also warned him that it may not be easy to convince Carrot to come back. Marron dismissed his worry, confident that once he explained things to Carrot, apologized, groveled, begged and pleaded, Carrot would come back to him, to the team, he amended his thought swiftly.
He felt a little guilty because he knew Gateau was still in love with him, but even after all of this time, he couldn't bring himself to give his heart to him. There was another that held his heart and someday soon, he was going to find his fantasy lover and be with him forever. That is, if his niisan approved-- he had learned his lesson, he thought wryly.
He had already checked into the hotel, knowing that he had four short weeks to accomplish his goal of getting Carrot to come home. If he was unhappy, this would be much easier to do...but if he was happy, Marron bit his lip--his eyes unhappy as he sighed-- then he wouldn't try to convince him. He'll just apologize for hurting him and go away.
He pushed open the door to the club, searching for his niisan, scanning the patrons before his eyes stopped on a long-hair man.
"Niisan," he breathed excitedly, trying to control himself, distantly remembering Gateau's warning, "Marron he's not the same as when he left. He's gotten harder and colder, so be careful. He's with a group that cares for him fiercely and they might not like you barging in trying to take him away from them, especially since they know someone from our side hurt him." Marron had nodded soberly, hardly listening to Gateau's warning, he was finally going to see his niisan!
He glided gracefully through the throng of dancers, his eyes firmly fixed on his niisan.
Caught up in his excitement, he didn't see the changes in Carrot. Another person wouldn't have recognizable Carrot. Gone was the familiar outfit of tan pants and tank top, gone was the shaggy mane. Now, Carrot's hair was bone straight, reaching well past his shoulders, and hanging in his face, obscuring his eyes. His clothes made of black sleek leather. Making an entirely different, more deadlier looking Carrot.
Reaching the table he stopped short a few feet away and softly called, "Niisan," watching as Carrot's head jerked his way. Marron recoiled slightly at the cold hardness in Carrot's eyes as his hair briefly shifted, revealing his face. He watched as Carrot's lips thinned for a second as the other four people at the table looked at him with varying degrees of coolness in their eyes.
"Marron," Carrot acknowledged him with a slow tilt of his head. "How did you find me," he asked coolly.
"Gateau gave me your address," Marron said hesitantly and took a couple of steps forward.
"Gateau," Carrot said his lips tightening into a flat line, "I should have known better than to think he would keep his mouth shut."
Marron digested his words, "You didn't want to be found," he said slowly.
"No," Carrot said shortly, lifting his drink to his mouth.
His teammates ignored the exchange, if Carrot needed them then they would be there for him.
"By me," Marron said quietly, his eyes searching the hard face.
"What do you think," Carrot mocked him, gazing at him steadily over the rim of his glass.
"I see," Marron stood straighter, his eyes becoming blank, "Is there someplace that we can talk, privately," he asked glancing around the crowded room.
"We can talk right here," Carrot said coolly, his eyes hard, "I have no secrets from my friends," he added, stressing the last words.
Marron flinched and paled, this conversation was not going the way he imagined it. He imagined that he would talk to his niisan, cry, throw himself in Carrot's arms, cry some more, grovel, beg and plead before his niisan magnanimously forgave him, all in private of course. He trembled slightly, what if Carrot refused to listen to him?
"Niisan, please," Marron pleaded softly, his eyes beseeching.
The two men at the table looked away in discomfort, not wanting to abandon Carrot but uncomfortable at the naked emotion in Marron's eyes.
"No," Carrot said, his eyes blank. "We talk here or you go away."
Marron opened his mouth and slowly closed it, blinking furiously against the threatened tears. He bowed and departed, he was NOT going to give up!
Carrot slowly released the pent up tension with a long drawn out sigh, slumping in his seat. Slowly unclenching his hand from around his glass, he had nearly shattered it he was gripping it so hard.
"Dammmmn," Celery exclaimed, his eyes wide, "I thought he was going to burst into tears for a second there!"
"Yeah, me too," Cattail said, "Man, I don't know how you resisted not going with him. If my little brother looked at me like that I would have done anything for him!"
Malt glided up and took the remaining seat in time to hear Carrot snort, "Not Marron. The last thing you will EVER see is Marron having an emotional scene in public. I'm surprised to see him here, confronting me in front of everyone, he's never been outspoken like this."
"Marron," Malt said, "That's your little brother, right," glancing at Carrot inquiringly who didn't answer; he turned to Celery for confirmation.
Carrot ignored the talk around him, gazing at the table top. Peanut touched his arm lightly, peering at him with gentle eyes.
"Are you okay," she asked quietly, concern evident in her eyes.
In the three short months he had been with the group, they had come to care deeply for the vulnerable young man. The pain and torment in his eyes tearing at their hearts. He had seemed so lost and broken when he had joined them, unsure about his place in their group, his abilities as a fighter.
She reflected how it was her gentle sister, Pecan that had healed his troubled spirit, guiding him gently back to calmer shores. His nightmares had finally ceased and with extensive practices, his fighting ability had increased phenomenally. He was truly an awesome, beautiful fighter to watch---deadly speed imbrued with predatory grace.
Carrot looked into Peanut's concerned faced and nodded slowly, "Yeah, I'm okay," he said quietly, "I wish I could forget how much he means to me, I mean, how much he meant to me," he hastily tried to correct himself.
"And you think that if he talks to you that you'll go back and be in the same predicament as before," Celery said shrewdly, listening to their conversation. He remembered just how woefully inadequate Carrot felt when he had first arrived. After fighting with them only one day, he wanted to quit---believing himself totally useless to them! But Celery saw the latent possibilities lurking within the boy and with his twin's help he was determined to bring it to full bloom. Gratified that in the three months he had changed Carrot's outlook in himself---Carrot had become one of the most deadliest fighters on the continent. He shivered with pleasure, calling to mind the deadly grace that was Carrot.
Carrot nodded his head slowly, "It hurt so much when he turned away from me," he half whispered, "I thought that I would die! We were so damn close to each other that when he cut me off like that....," he broke off, his lips pressed together in a hard line of pain. Fighting to control his emotions, he took a much needed breath and continued huskily, "It felt like he was deliberately trying to hurt me. He keep drifting further and further away from me and no matter what I did, not matter what I said, it wasn't enough... I wasn't good enough to be his brother anymore. I finally called it quits the day I overheard him agreeing with Gateau that I was ugly and useless," Carrot choked out, trying not to cry in front of his friends.
He got up abruptly, "I got to go," and tried to rush from the club, crashing into Malt.
"Need any company," Malt purred, hating to see that look on Carrot's face. The others chuckled and rolled their eyes, well used to him flirting with Carrot. Everyone thought he was just being his usual flirtatious self but they were wrong. He really did care for Carrot, he might even be in love with him. He hated to see sadness on Carrot's face, Carrot's face was made for joy---for smiling. Even when he was tired to his core, it always lifted his spirit and everyone else's to see Carrot and his beautiful smile. He smoothed back a lock of white-blond hair behind his ear, ignoring the avid gaze of the majority of the club goers.
Carrot smiled and rolled his eyes, "No, I don't but thanks anyway for the offer Malt," he said sincerely. He knew Malt was interested in him, why he had absolutely no idea, but he wasn't interested in him and he sure as hell wasn't gay! A fact that Malt willfully ignored as totally unimportant. Carrot sighed at least he wasn't constantly jumping on him like Mille did, Malt was just more subtle at trying to seduce him.
"Carrot," Celery called from the table, "If you need to talk, you know where we are, right?"
Carrot's face soften, "Yeah man, I know and thanks!" And he left the club in a lighter mood.
Carrot stepped out of the club and walked a few paces when he saw Marron leaning against the wall. He stopped abruptly, knowing that the other had been waiting for him to exit the club. He looked wistfully behind him to the safety of the club before squaring his shoulders and walking forward, ignoring Marron who fell in step beside him.
They walked in silence for several minutes, tension rising between them. Carrot gritted his teeth, he would be damned if he would speak first. Let Marron speak, he thought viciously, he was the one that sought HIM out!
Marron searched desperately for the words that he had practiced so assiduously on the way here and he couldn't recall a single word. Finally, he blurted out, "I'm sorry niisan!"
Carrot saw red, "Sorry?! Sorry?! Is that all you fucking have to say?!" He screamed at the trembling boy, "How about 'Carrot, I'm sorry that I shut you out of my life'; or maybe 'Carrot I fucked up'." He looked at Marron, "Better yet 'Carrot, I didn't mean to call you ugly and useless'," he whispered, remembered the pain and hurt shining in his eyes as a gentle breeze softly lifted his hair from his face.
Marron caught his breath the pain deep in his niisan's eyes and he stretched out a hand--- pleadingly---his hand falling away at the flinch from Carrot.
"Niisan, I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you. I don't know why I did or even said those thing about you. I got so caught up in listening to Gateau, believing everything he said about you, about me, lapping up all his flattery. I didn't know what to do, who to believe, until it became easier to believe what he said," Marron tried to explain. He fell silent, watching the still figure, searching his niisan's eyes for forgiveness, for understanding.
Finally Carrot stirred, "You should have walked away," and he left Marron standing on the sidewalk. Alone.
Marron gasped at the burning pain in his chest, a choked sob coming from his throat, "Oh my niisan, what have I done to you, what have I done to us?"
* * *
For the next week, Marron turned into a stalker. Doing everything he could to try to talk to Carrot. At first, each time he appeared, Carrot would turn and walk away. Carrot's friends were having a wonderful opportunity laughing at the both of them, calling Marron the DARK STALKER; and they were cracking up at the way Carrot would turn tail and run away from Marron. They mocked him for his bravery facing deadly sorcerers but hiding from his little baby brother. But underneath all the laughter was concern for Carrot. They just wanted him to be happy; and while they were slightly sympathetic to Marron they refused to help him. They wanted Carrot to be happy but weren't sure that Marron and his group would or could make Carrot happy.
* * *
Every time he got close enough to talk to Carrot, that white hair man, would come up and start whispering in his niisan's ear----distracting him. Marron saw the jealousy and resentment in the man's cold eyes and realized that Malt had no intention of letting the two of them be alone anywhere fearing that he would convince Carrot to leave. He had managed to talk to Carrot privately once, he had apologized and groveled but he knew that forgiveness was a long way off.
He had finally managed to get them to invite him into their hotel room, thinking that he would be able to corner his niisan and talk to him, but once again Malt waltzed up to them just as he opened his mouth and snatched Carrot away. Marron gritted his teeth, trying to control his temper. Frustrated rage and jealousy had driven him out onto the balcony.
Inside the three friends looked at the still figure outside, each wondering when his control would break, when he would finally give up and leave. Peanut and Celery turned and looked at Cattail who just sighed, knowing that he had just been volunteered to go out on the balcony to talk to Marron.
Marron heard the door open and close and spared a glance behind him, this was the first time any one of Carrot's friends at voluntarily spent any amount of time around him. You would think he had some sort of contagious disease, he thought wryly, his ill mood lifting slightly.
"Hurts doesn't it?" Cattail commented quietly, gazing at Marron.
"Pardon," Marron asked quietly, his brows lifting inquiringly.
"I said it hurts when Carrot turns away from you? When Malt constantly distracts his attention from you, leaving you alone. It hurts that Carrot seems to prefer someone else's attention over being with you, turning away from you every time you come close," Cattail said coolly.
Marron narrowed his eyes slightly at the red-headed man, this had all been orchestrated and he said this aloud, anger evident in his voice.
Cattail shook his head, "Oh no, Malt is sincerely interested in your brother. He's afraid that if you get a chance to talk to Carrot you'll wind up convincing him to go back with you and, that is something he's determined to prevent. You see, he doesn't trust you to see to Carrot's happiness, to give him the love he's entitled."
"I'm his brother," Marron said coldly, "Of course I love him." He was furious! How dare these people judge him?!
"Then why did he look so lost and broken when he came to us? Why did it take weeks for his nightmares to stop? Why was he convinced that he was useless, ugly, good for nothing? The only person that could have hurt him so badly was you. Your opinion, your love, your support was all he's ever needed. It was all he's ever had from anyone. He gave you everything of himself and you gave him the back of your hand. So you see, Marron, WE don't trust you to see to Carrot's well being. Go home, Marron Glace. There's nothing for you here. Carrot's finally happy and we will do anything to make sure he stays that way. It took us over two months to get him to smile and laugh and we will not let you just come in and jeopardize everything we worked so hard to accomplish with him. So go home," and Cattail opened the door, spilling the sound of Carrot delighted laughter onto the balcony as he chased Peanut around the room.
Marron walked forward, hypnotized by that beautiful sound of joy. A sound that he hadn't heard in so LONG! He gazed at Carrot's face, seeing the joy and happiness virtually shining from every pore of his body and he smiled to see Carrot happy. His smiled faded as Carrot looked around and saw him and instantly, as if a switch had been thrown, all the joy and happiness on Carrot's face was gone, replaced by tense wariness.
Malt smirked at the stricken look on Marron's face, GOOD! He thought viciously, let him feel how Carrot felt. His eyes glittered angrily, he threw Carrot away like a piece of trash and now he wants him back? HA!
Carrot tensed when he saw Marron framed in the doorway and stopped chasing Peanut. He knew Marron hated when he chased after girls and things were going so well between them that he didn't want to cause any problems.
He didn't want to go back to being the same old Carrot, to go back to being useless, but he missed Tira and Chocolate. He missed his family. Maybe if he invited Marron to his party tomorrow night---extending an olive branch---it would put Marron in a better mood.
With an extreme effort to look casual he made his way over to Marron, "Uhm, I was wondering.....uhm," he rubbed the back of his head nervously, "Some of my friends are giving me a party tomorrow night and I...uhm...ah was wondering if you would like to....uhm.....stop in for a minute," Carrot said in a final rush.
Marron looked down, seeing the uncertainty and fear of rejection in his niisan's eyes, he mourned that he had been the one to put that look in Carrot's eyes. Slowly he smiled, "I would be delighted to attend. What's the party for," he asked, joy filling his heart as he saw his niisan's eyes begin to shine.
"Oh, I don't know. We have parties about a couple of times a month, just giving presents and having a good time," Carrot shrugged, "So you'll come? You don't need to bring me a present or anything," he said anxiously. "Maybe after the party we could talk," he asked hopefully.
"Niisan, I would be happy to bring you a present and I would love to talk more with you after the party," Marron said quietly, searching Carrot's wide eyes. Slowly, he raised his hand, fearing that Carrot would flinch away at the last minute and gently stroked Carrot's cheek.
Carrot blinked at the hand touching his cheek, feeling the familiar touch, feeling the pull of home. He sighed, he didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted so much to stay with his friends, they were safe and familiar. They gave him love and support. But he missed home, he missed the girls, he missed Marron!
"I'll see you tomorrow okay," he said quietly, looking up into Marron's face.
"I'll be there," Marron said equally quietly, and turned to go, "Thank you for inviting me."
"Marron wait," Carrot called, unaware that his friends had stopped talking and were watching the unfolding drama.
Marron turned around, his brow arching up inquiringly, watching him fidget before his niisan flung his arms around him in a bone crushing hug. Reflexively he hugged his niisan back, almost in tears at feeling the beloved arms around him again. Quietly whispering into Carrot's ear, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
Carrot drew back and studied Marron's sad eyes, "I know, Marron, I know. Goodnight," and kissed him on the cheek and let him go to his own room.
tbc