Spirited Away Fan Fiction ❯ Kohaku's Quest ❯ Kohaku's Quest ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer; I do not own any character from Spirited Away, nor the story. I merely borrow it in this fiction of mine.

Chapter eight; Hunting a human

When, why and where would all be good question to ask before a dragon goes out on a quest. "When" because dragons tend to believe that immediately is the best time for everything. The dragon really ought to consider his timing. "Why" because a quest usually contains a treasure of some kind, and dragons are by tradition obligated to guard treasures. So, if the purpose is not good enough, the dragon can spare it and save himself hundred years of duty guarding a treasure. And finally "where" because dragons always must be careful of where they are sighted. In this modern world, creatures from the other realm seldom walks safely. They ought to be careful. Therefor, it is not a wise decision to flap around trying one's new wings, not even by night time. The demi-god and modified dragon had therefore camped at a roof over the night. And as Kohaku saw the rising sun make the glass buildings glow like fire, he felt a burning ache in his own chest. Unable to freeze as he was, he would never feel the joy of his boiling blood heat his body. He would never know the difference between a cold chill and a chill of pleasure. But this youngster of a god could not know how many wonders he was denied by not being a human. All he knew was that he possessed powers, abilities others were denied. For the very first time since the horrifying day his river was covered by mud he felt special. He had a task, a quest, a responsibility! Once again he was

/Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi/

<I dreamt of a goddess this night. I dreamt of a lovely creature who refused to revile herself. I could only hear the sound of countless tears all collected in a buried stream... But yet I know it was a goddess. Her voice echoed in my mind as the soft sound of falling cherry leaves in spring. Familiar, lovely and yet filled with sadness. A careful reminder of the long months to wait until the cherry bloom again... and of the long months since the leaves fell last time.>

Kohaku let his green eyes slide over the beautiful panorama before him, unaware of the royal impression he made himself. Standing on the roof at the highest building with his dark grey hair falling slight on his shoulders, hands light fisted as always, he was the pure image of youthful action and beauty. The slim, elegant lines of his chest and back was hidden under his clothes, but his legs and ankles told of a phenomenal physic condition. Not muscular, but slim and trimmed, as boys in their late teenage tend to be (or a certain kind of men). Only his expression told another story. The constant awareness and his latent seriousness was showed around his mouth. He had no lines of smiling and no wrinkles of any kind. His eyes, half -lidded and constantly moving reminded of a cats eye and, to those who could see, they reviled just what he really was. Something more than a mere human. Someone more important than the average man.

<She dwells somewhere down there. Elder and unaware of my presence. My only friend and my only longing.>

A sudden shadow, perhaps cast by a passing cloud passed swiftly over Kohaku's face. Thoughtful, he looked down at his left hand. Pale. Well sculptured, a master's artwork and a joy to anyone else, but of cause not for himself.

<Zeniba told me I master more than I can imagine. I have a new shape and I ought to have new powers as well. I still master wind and water, but what more? What kind of power can be hidden within me without my knowledge? What sort of craft do I master by instinct? Or is the answer of a whole different kind?>

As the sun rose and the sky turned from golden red to pale dreamy blue, Kohaku felt unanswered questions burn within his mind. But yet more intense and revolting burned a flame of hope within his heart. Perhaps this day would end his search.

When Kohaku turned his back to the golden sight to leave the roof, Tamakos last words echoed in his head:

"To her, you are nothing but a figure in a dream. Chihiro won't remember you."

Painful words. Knifes in his chest, nightfall in the morning. All wrong, all wrong!

<I'll prove her wrong! How could she ever forget? Even if many years have passed, how could she? I'll prove Tamako wrong and go find that beautiful flower of mine. That pure white flower blooming by night.>

And yet Kohaku couldn't ignore the threatening dark clouds at the horizon. The sky would in a few hours be more grey than blue.

"I still can't understand why you broke up with him. I thought you were getting married soon, or at least engaged."

Chihiro refused to look at Rin, her closest friend and co-worker at the company. Rin was a very skilled drawer and she made all the drawings to Chihiros fairytales. Rin often said about herself: "Since I am not a beauty myself, I compensate that whit the beauty of my drawings." And Rin was much of an ugly duckling. The kindest smile one can think of was placed in a slim face, almost too small to contain eyes, nose and mouth. It all seemed to be placed too near each other and yet they crowded the face. But how could that affect Chihiro, the one who saw beyond shallow obstacles like that? To Chihiro Rin was like a butterfly; a beautiful creature dwelling in a colourless cocoon. But today Chihiro could not feel the beauty within Rin. She could only hear the voice of a viper, a vixen who refused to leave the bleeding cuts alone, but scratched and ripped until the cuts turned into unhealing wounds.

"And you seldom find a man like Manani, ready and willing to compromise and eager to win you. For how many years did he woo you again? Three? You'll never experience that again, I tell you that..."

<Quiet, viper!>
"And it's not like you have someone else in sight, is it? You've been isolating yourself too much. Ah, Chihiro, you have no idea how hard it is to find anyone..."

<Shut up, bitch!>

"Why, I think you ought to make up with Manani again! The two of you have been together always and now you're breaking up without reason? Do you know how hurt Manani is? He's practically unable to work, that's how bad it is. And you know no one can heal it but you, Chihiro!"

<That's it!>

Chihiro violently turned towards Rin, ready to scream words of anger and truth at her, drowning her in a flood of rage, hate and sorrow. But as she saw Rin's eyes, she understood.

All furious feelings ran of her as water of a goose and the violet pose shifted swiftly over to a sudden embrace. Rin, aware of Chihiros exceptional instincts, accepted the abrupt mood change without thinking and hugged back intensively.

"Rin-chan... Your will to help me through all this is admirable. But I can't soil you with feelings I seldom can admit I even possess. It won't help."

"But you need to get it out. It shows in your motions and in every gesture you make; you're filled with a consuming energy. Your feelings are leaping amok, Chihiro. You need to get it out... and I can't stand to see you like this." Rins voice was tender and calm, once again the butterfly flew -

and Chihiro saw how it would have been, hadn't she restrained herself.

The fair and fragile butterfly, glowing of colour and joyous life -shattered- by a sharp rain of fierce words and hostile energy. An innocent beautiful creature, tortured and killed by a beast. No reason, for no good.

<Rin can't know how intense my feelings truly are. She can't know... how could she ever?

How could she feel the depth of a well without bottom?>

"Oh, Rin... I thank you, but it's for the best if I tame this beast myself. I can't tell you more than I have already said, because I have no answers. You know I would otherwise."

Chihiro felt as if cold snow melted along her chest when Rin turned away, walking ahead towards the door. Rins voice fluted in the room as she said:

"Maybe, maybe not. I know better than to believe that you tell me everything, Chihiro."

Then she turned, and the butterfly showed all her glory.

"But I'll respect your boarders. You won't let me help you in this matter and that's ok. Just let me know when something changes, right?"

<Did she say when? Not if?>

"That I can promise. If something happens, I'll tell you. And thank you, Rin-san."

"Then tell me when. Bye!"

Chihiro looked at the closed door, her eyes dark and her hair loose. Her mind was pre-occupied: <Why did she insist on using the word when? Does she know something I don't?>

; but not in her most wild fantasies could Chihiro know that Rin felt the dragon's claim. Chihiro could not dream that Rin saw a beast's claws possessive embracing Chihiros tiny appearance.

<But I know. I see. And soon, you'll see too.>

Kohaku's senses were overwhelmed. In this high-speed life city there were no pauses of any kind. Everyone and everything was going somewhere, causing a wall of sound that made it impossible to hear one unique voice. All individual signs drowned in the buzzing flow of the population. And the strongest smells forced their way into Kohaku's nose and down his lungs. Had he been a normal man he would chuff, but as it was now he simply longed for fresh air and the sound of whispering trees or a mighty waterfall. The sun had vanished behind the dark clouds and the wind was up. It was going to rain, he felt for sure, and thunder was expected.

Once again Kohaku was unaware of the impression he made. As the one single man standing still on the crowded street he seemed to be a living reminder of life, of death, of the things in life no one can outrun or escape. Gorgeous and handsome he was, but frightening in his silent stillness and old-fashioned clothes. He made people nervous and irritated, because they did not know where to place him, what to do with him. They could not ignore him as he ignored them. The presence of a god worried them, worried the ones who lost their childhood dreams and instinctive believe of higher powers long time ago.

Kohaku tried to sort out the information he received.

<Someone's wearing a sharp perfume - vanilla. And I scent garbage, sweat and pollution. I hear angry, stressed and upset voices. Even the happy ones have a slight hint of stress in them. I see people, people and more people. Few of them mind the others. No one steps aside to let anyone else go first. Everything around here contains people. Buildings, vehicles and stores.>

Kohaku closed his eyes, concentrating in finding that one scent, that one voice.

<The scent of pure skin and roses... of thick hair blowing in the wind.>

"Excuse me! You're blocking the door."

A harsh voice came from behind him. Not angry, but as if the person had a sour throat. Kohaku glanced back to see who had the courage to speak to him.

Pounding heart. Racing pulse. Dark eyes and endless masses of soft hair. A face so different and yet so familiar. Taller, a woman, and yet the same... the same... his... his Chi-

"So... would you please step aside?

Eyes wide-open, Kohaku turned and looked at the woman more close. In those deep wells of darkness were no sign of recognition, only confusion and rage. And he knew:

<This is not my Chihiro. This is a stranger.>

Harsh and disappointed, Kohaku made an unpleased sound and stepped aside. The woman passed him by.

"Can you feel what they feel, these creatures in my song?

Can you see what I see all day long?

I tell you these stories and seal with a kiss.

Then you'll know what loneliness is."

-Sassa (extract from Loneliness, a song to my own manga; Stolen Sorrow).

Author's note:

As some of you know, English is not my own language. And I'm not good at it either. But I use the words and the grammar to express a feeling, not to write correct. So, even if the sentences are wrong, please try to grasp the feeling in them. I REFUSE to let a program translate for me! My way may be the wrong way, but it's the only way for me.