Spirited Away Fan Fiction ❯ Kohaku's Quest ❯ Kohaku's Quest ( Chapter 9 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

By: Sassa

Disclaimer: I do not own Spirited Away, nor any of the characters appearing in the movie.

Chapter nine: Why me?

A dragon knows what he desires. Dragons never ache for something unspecified; they know and they are often able to get what they want. Humans on the other hand desire impossibilities and possibilities equal. Their dreams do not need to be linked to logic nor reality. They crave the unknown and desire the unspecified, because longing is a necessity for man. They need to need, or else they will not proceed in our evolution. Dragons, however, fulfilled their evolution long ago. (Extract from Qualified Guessing. You won't find it - I wrote it...).

/Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi/

As always, Kohaku stopped at that point. Grinning ill he recalled his naive words at Zeniba's: "I just want to find her and see that all is well." Now he regretted them.

Kohaku moaned. Among trash and stains he sat in this forgotten alley. It was a safe retreat, but nasty.

<Rubbish! All rubbish! I might as well... as well... >

In a desperate try to cheer himself up he thought of Zenibas last words:

"Are you a homeless one?"

Kohaku ogled up to see who dared to bother a stranger at a place like this and simply choked.

Chihiro rarely spoke to strangers and did not know why she even stood in this ally. Her way here was all a blur and she would not ever recall what she had been doing earlier that day.

All the long hours, days, weeks, moths and years who had passed since their last meeting vanished for a thousand of a second as blue-green shifting eyes met earth dark brown. The golden bond between their souls reconnected -And then the now forced its way back, making everything fuzzy.

Chihiro spoke first. Her blood rushed through her veins and caused her chest to ache, unused to those strong heartbeats as it was. But she had spent years to regain her control and ignored her body's reaction.

"All right, then. I just wanted to see if everything's alright, and..."

And you want him to come with you.

"...and I want you to come with me."

Kohaku saw this beautiful woman which he knew, not by scent, not by looks but by heart. That filled him with joy, but he could also see, feel and smell her surprise at her own words and did not know what to do. As he kept his silence and continued his motionless gazing at her, Chihiro felt awkward and suddenly annoyed.

<Why, I do not even know what I'm doing, but that oaf could at least answer! I know he's not much of a talker but - what do I know???>

Confused Chihiro made a decision for both of them. Without thinking twice she grabbed the strangers hand and pulled him up to standing. His hand felt dry and chilly and welcoming. Chihiro dropped it as if she'd been scorched and heel turned on the spot.

"Follow me. We'll go to my place, then we'll see."

Yes, we'll certainly see.

Chihiro did not turn to see if he followed her or not. She knew he would, but at a distance.

Chihiros strange form of humour and her unwillingness to show her feelings forced her to act as if her behaviour was the everyday behaviour. She did not glance back, not once during the long, crowded way back to her apartment to see that the mysterious stranger followed her. The whispering voice in her head sneaked up on her and said:

It's possible that he chooses not to walk...

As for Kohaku it all happen too fast and yet too slow. For him, the bonding felt strong again but not fully the same.

Silent he began to move, eyes fixed at the rainbow spot that was Chihiros aura. There were new colours there, deeper and darker than before, and it frightened him.

Divided by several meters and a miner population, Kohaku and Chihiro was yet connected by mind and soul. Their one-by-one-walk was only physical, a miner detail; a passing phase. None of them knew whether they longed or dreaded the moment it would end.

"This is it. Here I live - it's my home. My apartment. My place. My hideaway... "

"Eh, however, please enter."

And there the moment froze. Kohaku stood motionless and looked into the unfamiliar little cage Chihiro called home. Chihiro held up the door, her false smile too obvious in the sudden stillness. For what felt like eternity, none of them could either move nor speak. Then a voice said:

Look.

Kohaku turned his head, slow as if he moved through syrup. Chihiro was still frozen, her eyes closed in the grin that was supposed to be inviting. Her hair was loose, framing her face. A frozen sweatdrop at her forehead told of her angst, but otherwise nothing was special. Except - almost hidden under her sleeve - a pink ribbon around her wrist.

Touch it.

Moving in ultrarapid, Kohaku stretched out his arm. He could see the distance shrink millimetre by millimetre. It was the slow move you do to ease an upset creature, slow and calculated. And finally, his pale fingertips reached the ribbon.

We sat in the garden behind the pigsty the shoe fell of and the girl we flew high above there was a stranger at the bridge once he had a river she ate my food he woke up she wasn't there the door shook and outside was he the dragon lifted her up out of his river a tiny hand around my horn she got upset he treated me bad he held me while I was crying she gave me my name back we flew, flew, flew she went away I went away it all ended too soon

we let us down.

Interruption: Time is a funny thing. It must by now be obvious that Kohaku and Chihiro seldom, if ever, apprehended time and actions the same way. While one felt as if the time stopped, it rushed for the other. One year was many years, a month an age and a slow gesture, the one Kohaku just made, was for Chihiro a rapid, sudden move.

The stranger had stiffened as if remembering something, then without warning he captured her left wrist in a painful grip. Or the pain was not so much in his grip or even...

This pain is not supposed to be. You do not need to feel it.

<But it hurts! He hurts me!>
Chihiro wrest her way out of his grip and fell against the wall, shaking. Her sight was dimmed and to her own surprise she realised she was crying. The pain still rushed through her whole body and she pressed herself behind the door, trying to escape from the source of all pain.

You don't need to feel this pain.

"Then tell me how to get rid of it! Tell me!" shouted Chihiro, fiercely rubbing her wrist.

You don't need...

"Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"What am I supposed to tell you?"

The pain within Chihiro turned in her chest at the sound of his voice. Confused and at ease when the pain faded away, she stammered: "You are supposed to tell me why you let me wait so long."

Kohaku knew Chihiro had been in agony, and to him the moment had been an hour. But now she seemed well again, if yet upset, and what mattered more - she seemed to remember. But to his own confusion, this revolting event did not effect him emotionally, as one ought to believe. Instead he still felt locked in the syrup, gazing at the crying woman halfway hidden behind the door. He heard her words but they did not touch him.

Chihiro knew something was wrong. Not within her - not anymore - but within him. Quickly, she pulled the ribbon of her wrist and used it to tie her hair up.

Kohaku appeared to be made of marble, that pale was his skin. His eyes glimmered as shattered ice. Cold, frozen, a winterstorm personified. Far from the caring creature she once knew. Desperate, Chihiro gasped for air as she understood that she had not yet fulfilled her part of this meeting. Her responsibility towards him. She had not made any promise, but she did have an obligation towards him. She knew something few did. She held his treasure. She knew his name, or at least she used to. Her silence itself was a worse betrayal than his.

With a sob more of guilt than pure sorrow, Chihiro rose and stepped up to the man she knew was not a man. She was not entirely sure of what he was nor who he was. However, she knew herself, or she knew who she'd been. Knowing she now would alter her whole existence, her trembling lips formed the words she was obligated to say.

"Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi."