Spirited Away Fan Fiction ❯ Where I Belong ❯ Nowhere Left to Turn ( Chapter 1 )

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Disclaimer- I don't own Spirited Away Miyazaki does.

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Chihiro stood numbly before the gate to the one place she needed to be but couldn't go. He heart called at her to enter the tunnel before her but her grief tired mind reminded her that she was being stupid. “If I couldn't get in the last twelve times I tried what makes me think this will be any different” Chihiro sighed and turned around patting the strange statue that guarded the gate to her true home, the spirit world, before she walked down the path heading for the house her parents called home. Ever since last year, almost to the day, Chihiro hadn't felt a sense of belonging anywhere in this human world.

She looked at her watch and muttered “Crap I'm late” before picking up speed in an attempt to avoid her parents overly concerned questions as to why she was always walking in the woods. They worried about her since that strange day when they found their previously car covered in dirt and weeds after going for what they remembered to be a pleasant walk. Chihiro knew better.

It was no pranksters that had wrecked the car, but time. When she and her parents had gone through that tunnel they had emerged in the spirit world. Everything happened so fast from then on but the eleven year old remembered exactly what had taken place. Her parents had been turned to pigs for stealing the food of the spirits and Chihiro ran away when she saw the pigs in her parents clothing. After several very confusing occurrences and spirit sightings ten year old Chihiro had tried to wake herself up, but she wasn't dreaming. That's when she met Haku.

He saved her from disappearing and instructed her to go see the boiler man, Kamaji. After that she'd met Rin and unfortunately Yubabaa. The thought of that witch, for she was most definitely a witch, made Chihiro cringe. Yubabaa had stolen her name and given her the name Sen to use instead when she signed the contract that would allow her to work there at the bathhouse. Haku had come to her rescue again and returned her name to her. She worked hard and began to fall in love with their world but the peace didn't last. She let a No face in without knowing what she was doing and he began to wreak havoc on the bathhouse. Haku had nearly been killed in his dragon form and Chihiro had run to save him without a second thought. After saving her new friend Chihiro had gone to return a sacred seal to the twin of Yubabaa, which had caused the whole mess in the first place.

It turned out that Zeniba, or Granny as Chihiro called her, was the polar opposite of her sister and with the reformed No Face she had made Chihiro a hair tie that held their love for her. Haku had come to her when he returned to health and she returned his stolen name to him. She remembered that river she had fallen into when she was a little girl, the Kohaku River. That was his identity. Her Haku was the spirit of the Kohaku River. She made a bet with Yubabaa to get her parents back and won, gaining their freedom. After her goodbyes, a promise from Haku that they would see each other again, and promising that she wouldn't look back, Chihiro left to return to the world everyone thought she belonged in. Well everyone was wrong.

Chihiro had never really reconnected to her birth world. It didn't feel as if she had returned home but as if she had just left it. In the few days she was there, Chihiro had found a new home. Now she was just miserable. At her new school she made no friends. It wasn't as if the local kids hadn't tried to make her feel welcome but Chihiro just couldn't force herself to pretend she wanted their company. Not having friends worried her parents but it was fine by her. No social life meant that she had more time to daydream about her lost home. She had no choice she would wait for Haku to fulfill his promise if it took her whole life.

Chihiro rounded the last bend in the trail of the woods that separated her from view of her house. She sighed, there was no doubt going to be a lot of questions from her parents. They didn't like her habit to walk alone in the woods in the early morning. Oh well she thought and bounce up the back steps hoping to dodge the mini-Spanish inquisition. Too bad her mom was coming down the stairs she wanted to creep up.

“Chihiro where have you been!” demanded her mother sharply clearly angry with her only child for scaring her half to death.

“I just went for a walk.” Chihiro replied with the same answer she always did and her mothers' scowl became a very pronounced frown.

“You know I hate it when you sneak off like that. Well anyway you're late I left the new kimono in your room. If you don't hurry you'll be late to the dam removal. You obviously don't want that seeing as you're the reason that river's being preserved. Now go. Hurry!”

Chihiro rolled her eyes. She looked at her watch as she slipped up the stairs. She'd only been like two minutes late. Like it'd make a difference. Her thoughts turned from sulking at her mother's angry tone to excitement that her hard work had finally paid off. A week after she'd gotten back to this world she'd begun a petition for the reconstruction and preservation of the Kohaku River. Her parents didn't get why it was so important to her but she knew that she was just helping out her best friend. She would return Haku's river if it killed her. Today the demolition crew was going to remover the dam that had blocked the apartments from the river's force before her petition had gotten them removed.

Her success was a little strange but she didn't think about it too much as she ran to her room to get ready. She strolled into her green and blue painted room and snuck a glance at the statue of a white dragon her dad had given her on her eleventh birthday. Smiling, Chihiro changed into the black and forest green kimono that looked and felt as if her mother had spent a fortune on it. A blush came to her cheeks as she realized that these were Haku's colors. She felt a weird and really sudden sense of fear but dismissed it as nerves since getting up in front of the crowd that would no doubt be there to give her short speech was scaring the heck out of her.

The ceremony went off without a hitch and Chihiro got through her speech without a single mistake, for which she was extremely grateful. The dam was demolished and she felt a tear fall down her face from all the pent up joy in her. Hours later Chihiro was in the car with her parents on their way home when that pang of fear hit her again. Looking up from her folded hands in panic she screamed as she saw a car swerve from the other side of the road and hit them head on. Pain shot all over her body before her vision went black and she passed out.

An incessant beeping was waking Chihiro from her dreamless sleep and she groggily opened her eyes only to be nearly blinded by a powerful florescent light on a whit ceiling above her. A sudden wave of nausea hit her and only then did she notice the sickly clean smell of the air. She controlled her urge to gag and asked in a cracking voice, “Where am I?”

She heard a scuffle of feat and an overly calm voice asked in a very condescending tone, “You're in the hospital sweetie. Can you tell me what your name is?”

“It's Chihiro. Why am in the hospital? What happened? Where are my parents?” Panic became clear in her voice and she couldn't get through the haze clouding her mind until she heard the woman whisper.

“I'm sorry Chihiro but your parent's died in the car crash.”

“No,” Chihiro could remember now and she began to sob uncontrollably gasping for breath after a few minuets. The woman got up to leave and give her some privacy with her grief.

“It's a miracle you're still alive let alone the fact that you don't have a single serious injury.” The spirits must love you. Their protection is the only logical reason we've come up with.

At the mention of spirits Chihiro whipped her left hand to her hair in hopes of finding her purple hair tie she always had. “Where's my hair tie?” Her voice was flat and had a dangerous edge to it that didn't belong to an eleven year old. The woman who must have been a nurse looked visibly shaken by the sudden change in Chihiro's attitude.

“We left it over here,” the nurse replied, walking over to a small table in the corner of the room and returned it to the child who'd obviously scared her. “Why is it so important if you don't mind my asking?”

The truth was she did mind but this lady had been kind to her so she quickly made up a fake reason, given the real one would definitely land her in therapy. “My mom bought it for me and I always wear it.” There that sounded sane to her.

The nurse smiled and left her alone. Finding that she couldn't cry anymore Chihiro looked forward as she always did when things got bad. I have no parents. I'm a minor so I'll need a new family. I don't have any relatives. What am I going to do?

Chihiro felt the sudden urge to get out of that hospital room. She didn't know why but she remembered her feeling she'd had before the dam removal and decided it was probably in her best interest to follow this strangely accurate sense's advice. Getting out was almost too easy. She reached for the kimono she'd come here in once she'd gotten on her feet and changed quickly. Chihiro anticipated some sort of obstacle in her path but when she walked out of her room and followed the signs on the walls leading to the exit no one stopped her. They clearly saw her and acknowledged her presence but said nothing. It wasn't until she'd left through the entrance that she looked down and realized that the nurse was right she hadn't gotten hurt and neither had her kimono. Well that's strange she thought but suppressed the urge to think on it and focused on how to get home. To her dismay she had no idea where she was. Well she was obviously standing in front of a hospital but she had no idea how to get home from here. She panicked as eleven year olds will and didn't realize she was running until she came to a halt at least half an hour later.

Shock filled her face as she realized she was collapsed I front of the spirit gateway. She was positive that the hospital was much farther away than even a hours worth of running but pushed that thought to the back of her head as well and just stood up on her trembling legs.

A new tear trickled down her face as she walked towards the tunnel bowing to the statue, as was her custom. Shock filled her calming face again as she felt the winds insistent tug on her to continue walking. This hadn't happened since… since the last time she went to the spirit world. Her legs began to move again without her consent and she found herself nearly sprinting though the pitch-black tunnel praying to anybody who would listen that she could get home, to the spirit world, this time. She had nowhere else to go and nowhere else to turn.

With one last muttered prayer she walked out of the tunnel and into the afternoon sun as opposed to the near darkness that existed on the other side of the gate. Chihiro began to cry silently. I'm home! She grinned like a fool and ran, not tripping once, across the empty river that would later fill to become the ocean she knew so well. She nearly dropped from exhaustion once she reached the top of the hill but the familiar smell of spirit food reminded her of her first task. She needed to eat something before she began to disappear. Shocked from her single-minded quest to get to the bathhouse she looked down to see that her hands…were still solid? What's going on I'm supposed to be see through by now. Well I don't care I need to find Haku, or Rin, or Kamaji, or someone! I can't believe I'm back!!!

The sudden darkness revived Chihiro and she looked up in surprise as the lanterns all came on. Shoot I need to get out of here. I can't be seen until I have a job. For some reason working in the bathhouse again didn't seem so bad to Chihiro's excited mind. She picked herself up from the ground and followed the well-remembered path to the staircase that ran along the side of the bathhouse. She thanked whatever god had decided to let her grow out of all her clumsiness in the past year as she carefully made her way down the not-so-study stairs. The door, which had intimidated her a little over a year ago, triggered a rush of relief to flow through her. She entered the boiler room, taking in it's familiar sooty smell and firelight before her watering eyes rested on Kamahi's back. He was, as usual, using his many hands to grind the unidentifiable ingredients needed for the order the bath token hanging in front of him required.

She stepped into the room further a smiled as she saw the soot balls out of the corner of her eye and said with much more confidence than she felt, “Hey Kamaji doesn't your granddaughter even get a hug?”

“What who're you…” his voice trailed off as he turned around. “Sen? Sen is that really you?” Chihiro could only nod and run to give him the hug she'd specifically asked for. He ignored the growing mass of bath tokens coming to hang in front of him and just stared at her as if she was a ghost. “How'd you get back here Sen? Yubabaa closed the gate no one can go through anymore.”

Chihiro laughed. She was so happy to see him again and she replied, “I have no idea why the gate let me through this time but I'm glad it did!”

Kamaji had clearly been forgetting his work for to long because an angry voice was yelling in the hall, “Kamaji you better have a good reason for not working. Yubabaa is going to have our hides if the guests start to complain…” The familiar young woman with long brown hair and a sharp tongue had opened the door and froze when she saw the human who was still looked in an embrace with the spider like spirit. Chihiro laughed again seeing the shocked face of her friend. “Hey Rin!”

Rin looked like she'd be going into shock if she'd been human. “S-sen? Wha- H- how?” Intelligent conversation seemed to be beyond Rin's capability at the moment but she ran to join in the hug clearly ecstatic to see her friend who'd been like a sister to her.