Street Fighter Fan Fiction ❯ [MSTing] '12 Months and a year' ❯ Chapter 2a ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

     *TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
   (And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)


(The future isn't what it used to be...)


"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7"  (SEASON FIVE)

EPISODE 50: 12 MONTHS AND A YEAR PT. 2

(A Street Fighter MSTing)

MSTed From the Desks of Megane 6.7 and Zoogz
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com)

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be
inferred.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc.
are the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc.
Just covering our collective asses here folks...

"Street Fighter" is the property of Capcom and all the
distributors of their work.

"12 Months and a Year" is the property of sske.  We attempted to
contact the author by e-mail but there was no reply and we sincerely
hope they don't take offence to this MSTing of their work.  It's all
meant in good fun.  ;p

Warning: This fanfic contains mature content, adult language and
scenes of extreme violence.


*     *     *

(Door 6: It's a bathroom stall door with writing on it.  It says
"THERE WAS A TOILET HERE, IT'S GONE NOW.  You frown and hold
your nose as you pass through it.)

(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator with an eerie green glow
coming from it.  Both sets of doors open for you but just before
you can step on it, it suddely drops down at a frightening speed.  
A few moments later, you hear a loud crashing noise and terrified
screams of people.  You manage to jump over the shaft hole and
continue on.)

(Door 4: It's made of loose teeth.  You quickly grab all the
pillows you can find, sweep the teeth into a pile and throw the
pillows over them in hopes of a giant payday from the tooth fairy.

(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed animals.  That is to say,
REAL cute stuffed animals.  You shudder and do your best not to
touch them with your hands as you move on.)

(Door 2. It's made of black tar.  The smell nearly overwhelms you
as Johnathan Frakes face briefly emerges from it, his mouth open
in a silent scream before sinking back in.  Then an Ankh floats
from behind you and touches the tar door.  It vanishes as you hear
a child laugh in the distance.)

(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing
a drawbridge that slowly lowers to the ground.  Suddenly a guy
dressed as a knight shoves past you, nearly knocking you into
the moat where a tentacled monster start to rise.  You quickly
hit up on your joystick and then right to quickly cross the
drawbridge before it can get you and you are rewarded with
a fanfare of trumpets.)

(Door .7: It's a swirling orange vortex.  Suddenly a large furry
hand reaches out of its center, pets you on the head and calls you
George before pulling you inside.)


    Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his
arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind.
Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the
theater on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater
seats and sat next to him, Crow sitting on his right.


Tom: So you're alive, huh?  I should've known...

Crow: I knew it all along!  I was just playing the part so I
could tease Gypsy about it later!

Joel: Yeah, keep telling yourself that, sucker.

Crow: Grrrr...


>Chapter 3: Returns

Crow: <Bison> I *told* you that I ordered twelve dolls but only
received eleven!  Siberia!?  Why the holy hell did you deliver
one there!?  I refuse to pay for this!


>/The hulking figure stumbled blindly in the midst of the chaos, his
>hands clawing the air, trying to grab onto something to allow him
>to get his bearings for a moment. /

Tom: Sorry, Hulk, you've got at least another five or six years
to go before Marvel Vs. Capcom 4 gets out of development hell.

Joel: <Hulk> HULK NO LIKE LIMBOOOOOOOOO...!!!


>/Chun-Li watched silently, one hand placed onto the crumbling
>wall to support herself while the other crutched her wounded
>stomach. /

Crow: <Chun-Li> Shouldn't... have tried... the shrimp... *burp*...
owagggh...


>/Her body was tense in anticipation, waiting for her foe to attack
>her. /

Joel: Unfortunately, Player 2 had an abrupt bathroom emergency
and forgot to pause the game.  


>/The building they were in was collapsing, thanks to the explosion
>caused by the C4s they used to blow up the Psycho Drive. /

Tom: <Chun-Li> Next time... longer fuses.


>/Around them, the place was an inferno. Flames engulfed the
>crumbling building, spreading their boiling rage through
>everything in their way. /

Joel: Yet, cool guys don't look at explosions...


>/The wild creature of fire refused to be tamed, growing more and
>more wild by each second. /

Crow: <Chun-Li> Ugggh... can anyone spare a Rolaid?  The Kung-Pao
chicken just declared war on my stomach and made allies with the
shrimp... *burp*...


>/The dizzying radiant heat from the blazes pulled Chun Li in
>deeper into the burning abyss as she struggled to fight it. The
>unwithstandable scent of smoke reeked in her nostrils, scorching
>and sweltering hot. Sweat dripped down her forehead and into her
>mouth, giving her a salty and bitter taste there. /

Tom: <Chun-Li> Ugh, it's like being in the officer's sauna at
Interpol all over again!


>/Confirming that her nemesis was too weak and disorientated to
>do any harm to her, Chun Li turned and climbed up the metal
>ladder behind her. /

Joel: Wait, did we just achieve crossover with Resident Evil 3?

Tom: So her goal is to burn her hands off?  Hokay.


>/Despite how hot the metal was, she continued to persevere, knowing
>very well that if she just throw in the towel, she would be consumed
>by the ravenous crimson flames below her. /

Crow: Fortunately, her fanservice-y towel was made of asbestos.

Tom: <Chun-Li> Whew!  I'd welcome a gratuitous nude shower scene
about now!


>/As she gritted her teeth and continued to climb, tears welling up
>in her eyes, the man beneath her gave out a cry or anguish, his
>body engulfed in flames. /

Tom: <Mustafa from Austin Powers> I'm badly burned!!

Joel: Another Sims character tries to cook for the first... and
last time.


>/"Chun Li!" He roared like a wounded lion, raising his
>flames-covered hands in the air. /

Crow: <Chun-Li, evilly> Long live.. the king!

Joel: <Simba> Noooooooo!


>/"Do not think that a miserable worm like you can hope to defeat me!  
>I will return, you hear me?! I WILL RE-"Just then, a huge chunk of
>debris from the ceiling came crashing down onto the man, prematurely
>ending his rant. /

Tom: <ceiling> I hate clichés.


>/Chun Li looked back down at the pit of hell, a look of defiant in
>her face. /

Joel: And then, suddenly... sadness and regret.

Crow: The corpse of your enemy never burns long enough, does it?


>/"Oh, just die already, you freak." She whispered solemnly. /

Tom: <Bison> I shall NOT!  As you see, player one has inserted....

Joel: <Chun-Li> Not the discs of reanimation!  NOoooooOOOooOOOOOO!!


>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xx

Crow: The scene changes are desperate to convince us there's
buried treasure here...


>Chun Li woke up from her slumber with a start, at first unsure what
>disturbed her.

Tom: Then she rolled over and cuddled her Bison-sama.


>Then, she heard a distinguished ringing noise and groaned. It seemed
>that it was morning already and it felt like she just slept for a few
>seconds.

Joel: <Chun-Li> *yawns* That's what I get for springing for
the John Cleese ringtone...


>Wearily, with her eyes shut tight, she lifted her hand to her tableside
>and forcefully pushed the button on the alarm clock. However, the
>ringing did not stop. Surprised, she opened her beady eyes to see an
>illuminated object resting on her tableside.
>
>Her cell phone.

Crow: <Chun-Li> Oh shit!  I almost forgot to feed my virtual
kitties!  Princess Stinky needs her num-nums!


>Muttering curses, she picked it up and squinted her eyes at the
>sudden glare. The name "Cammy" stared back at her.

Tom: <Chun-Li> Friends don't get friends out of bed at ungodly hours.

Joel: <Cammy> 2:30 in the afternoon?

Tom: <Chun-Li> Exactly!


>Looking at the time in her phone, she found out it was 3:49 am.
>Doing a quick calculation, she realised in was about 8:49pm in
>the UK.

Crow: Enjoy hot waking up action!

Joel: Will she order room service?

Crow: Will she watch TV in her underwear?

Tom: Will Prince William ever get out of her room and back into
the loving embraces of the Duchess of Kent?


>/Why is she calling me this early? Must be something important. /
>She tapped the confirm button.
>
>"Cammy?"
>
>"Chun Li." Cammy's voice sounded serious, too serious.

Crow: <Cammy> I AM YOUR FATHER.

Joel: Not THAT serious.


>Other times, she would sound peppy over the phone, but now,
>she sounded as though someone closed to her had died.

Joel: <Cammy> Bison's back, and he's AT MY DOOR!

Tom: <Chun-Li> Sheesh, just take the pizzas he delivered and
just give him like a dollar tip.

Joel: <Cammy> But there's all this history... two bucks?

Crow: <Bison> All who undertip me shall be destroyed!


>Chun Li's curiosity turned up a notch. "What is it?" she questioned.
>There was silence for a moment, before Cammy's voice returned
>strained.

Tom: <Cammy> P-Pore Jud is DAID!! <sobs>

Crow: <Chun-Li> *sighs* I'll put on some coffee.


>"You know Juni? One of the Dolls I found a few months ago?"

Tom: <Cammy> She's got one eye that moves and follows me
around all the time, it's kind of creepy.


>"Of course." Chun Li came all the way to the UK to personally
>interrogate her about Shadaloo, but upon finding out nothing
>from the amnestic girl left her in Cammy's capable hands.

Crow: Actually, she came for the Spice Girls reunion but
"personal interrogation" looked better on her "official" report.

Joel: Oh, and here I thought that she left China for all that
great British food.

Tom: <Chun-Li> Oh, spotted dick!  How I've missed you!


>"She... she started to act strangely a few days ago, complaining
>about headaches that wouldn't go away, and this evening...she showed
>signs of the Psycho Power."

Crow: Usually around once a month.

Tom: NOW who's being classy, Crow?

Crow: Heh.


>A cool breeze entered the room, causing Chun Li to unconsciously
>shivered in spite her shock.

Tom: Billy Dee Williams had arrived.

Joel: <Billy Dee Williams> When I said *every time*, I
meant it, baby.


>Her breathe was caught in her mouth, unable to be released, her
>eyes widened considerably.

Crow: Holy crap, that was some majorly time-delayed Ecstasy.

Joel: ^_^...^0^...X_X

Tom: You can say that again... I think.


>"Are...are you sure?" she asked shakily, feeling faint.
>
>"Yes, she attacked me before fleeing the scene. Can't say I escaped
>with just a few bruises." Cammy chuckled humourlessly.

Tom: <Cammy> I'm in traction right now, the nurse is holding
the phone for me... and her fingers reek of nicotine... bleah!


>Chun Li took a deep breathe to compose herself before replying,"
>I will be booking the next flight for the UK the first thing in the,
>erm, morning.

Joel: <Chun-Li> Let me check around here for Carmen Sandiego first.


>Tell Guile to meet us at your place too. I'm sure he would be very
>interested at this recent development."

Crow: Guile seems more the type interested in "free buffet".

Joel: Not to mention "free hair gel".


>Ending the conversation, Chun Li placed her face on her hands
>and sobbed, her tears slipping through the cracks between her
>fingers.

Tom: Anyone else getting a visual image of Chun-Li's
detached face in her hands?

Crow: My god, she's a REPLOID!  Who knows when she'll
go Maverick!?


>Why, God, why wouldn't this nightmare end? She cried out in despair.
>
>Only the howl from the morning wind answered her question.

Joel: Are you sure that this isn't the air conditioning talking?


>Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Crow: Congratulations, Doctor!  The scene change was a success!


>I presume they are all here?" The man boomed, his voice reverberating
>in the room he called his 'throne room'.

Tom: Morning wind, throne room... I'm sensing a pattern here.

Joel: Yeah, too much cheese and pepperoni.


>The elderly man nodded quickly, a lab coat covering his diminutive
>frame. Being a dwarf in the same room as a giant can be...oppressing.

Crow: Wow, Dexter's still at it, huh.  Good for him.


>A single drop of sweat snaked its way down his wrinkled forehead.

Tom: Hey kids!  Can you get the sweat drop down to its
destination and avoid all the obstacles?  Just grab yourselves a pencil
and start here!


>"Of course, master, they are all here, present and accounted for." The
>man smiled nervously, avoiding eye contact with the other man's
piercing gaze.

Joel: <elderly man> An even dozen, just like you asked for.

Crow: <master> And... the flavor?

Joel: <elderly man> B-B-Boston Creme, master.

Crow: <master> YESSSSS...


>A smirk creeped onto the younger man's face.

Tom: Oftentimes if you're smirking, you're already a creep.


>"Very well, send them in"
>
>With a snap of a finger, the door swung open and 12 girls marched
>in like soldiers into the room.

Crow: His plans were undone once each of the girls realized that
they were... wearing the same uniforms.

Tom: Twelve-way catfight!

Joel: Awesome.


>Theirs eyes see nothing and their faces held a placid expression.

Tom: Much like a Bethesda character.

Crow: Or a bevy of Ben Steins.


>All the clothes which they wore a few days ago changed into the
>familiar Shadaloo Doll uniform, with their air stewardess-like cap
>perched smartly on their head.

Joel: Skycap Soldiers ASSEMBLE!


>"Report!" The man commanded.
>
>All the girls raised their hand to their hand in salute and stood stiffly.

Crow: <man> I don't remember telling you to start a love train,
but that works too.


>"Enero reporting."
>
>"Février reporting."
>
>"März reporting."

Tom: With us now live via satellite, is Rei Hino.  Rei,
what's the situation down there?

Crow: Couldn't we just pull a Gundam Wing on this and just
number them?


>"Aprile reporting."

Joel: O'Neil?

Tom: I wish.


>"Satsuki reporting."
>
>"Juni reporting."
>
>"Juli reporting."

Joel: <singing> Robot Roll Call!

Crow: Cute, Joel.


>"Santamu reporting."
>
>"Xiayu reporting."
 
Joel: Lois Lane reporting.

Tom: Summer Gleeson reporting.


>"Jianyu reporting."
>
>Noembelu reporting."
>
>"Decapre reporting."

Tom: Why not something more out of the ordinary, like
Canadian territories and provinces?

Crow: Yeah, you could've added a thirteenth prologue!

Joel: Go kill Ryu, Alberta!  You too, Prince Edward Island!


>"Well done Doctor, for a moment I thought you have failed
>me." The man's grin grew wider.
>
>"Preposterous, sir, you put too little faith on me." The old man
>said, a heavy load lifted from his shoulder.
>
>"Give my Dolls any further enhancement you have developed
>over the past 2 months of my absence. You better not disappoint
>me on that aspect." The man gave his subordinate a death glare
>to prove his point.

Joel: <Doctor> Sooo... D Cups for the lot of them?

Tom: <Master> At a minimum.

Crow: Oh, someone feels like trying the mods before going
into the main plotline, eh?


>"Of course sir. Now off you go." The old man ushered the mindless
>soldier out of the room.

Crow: <old man> Daddy needs some little blue pills.... QUICKLY!


>"Oh yes, and Doctor?" The man suddenly piped out, halting the old
>man in his tracks. "Yes sir?" he asked fearfully, his mind rummaging
>through his memories to find any wrongdoings he did.

Joel: <Doctor, thinking> He found out about the internet
bill, I just know it!


>"Once you are done prepping them up, I want them prepared for their
>first mission in a long time."
>
>"Which is, sir?'

Tom: <Master> They're going undercover as exotic dancing
model masseuses who moonlight as call girls for a bikini disco dancing
competition to expose corruption, drugs and murder at the local
roller rink.

Joel: <Doctor> Whatever you say, Charlie.


>"To capture an old thorn on my side, Doctor." The man laughed drily,
>sparks of purple electricity darted wildly from his fingers.

Tom: Whoa!  Wait a minute!  The mysterious man is Emperor
Palpatine?

Crow: Isn't it just like Star Wars to invade ANOTHER fighting
game series... wasn't ruining 'Soul Calibur' enough for you jerks!?


>"It seems we are going to have a new addition to the Dolls unit."

Tom: Oh great, does that mean we have to suffer through HER
prologue as well?

Crow: Heaven forbid it's a Ken doll.  Sexist creep.


>Chapter 4: Reunion

Joel: Omigod!  I missed you guys SO MUCH and I never
thought I'd see you again...!!

Crow: Yeah, great, who are you again?  Never mind, just give
me your lunch money.


>Guile ran his hand over his fine flattop hair, sitting rigidly on the
>waiting room chair, years of military training and discipline clearly
>shown from his posture.

Tom: But definately lacking from his "fine flattop hair".


>To say he was unhappy about the situation they were in was the
>understatement of the year. He was downright furious and irritated.

Crow: He found out that VA coverage in the States amounts to a
container of placebos and a hearty handshake.


>As the wave of medical personnel and patients passed by him (they
>almost seemed like a blur to him), Guile closed his eyes and tenderly
>rubbed his throbbing forehead, feeling an impending headache.

Tom: Oh NO!  

Crow: They brainwashed the MALE fighters too!?

Joel: That means... dozens more prologues!  

All: NOOOOOOOOO!!!


>A few minutes flew by before he heard a familiar voice
>called his name.

Crow: GUILE WINS!

Joel: <Guile> Oh, shut up!  I'm not even fighting!

Crow: TIME UP!

Joel: <Guile> *sighs*

Tom: <deep voice> FATALITY!

Joel: <Guile> Hey, wait up a second...


>"Guile! Over here!" the feminine voice yelled out, nearly
>drowned by the din in the hospital. This prompted the
>airman to open his eyes, searching for the source of the
>voice.
>
>And there she was.

Crow: Suddenly, 'How To Save a Life' by The Fray began playing.

Tom: 'Guile's Anatomy', Season Finale, this Thursday on ABC.


>Funny, considering how after the supposed 'fall' of Shadolaw,
>the 3 of them hardly meet each other face to face anymore, and
>remaining in contact with each other was out of question.

Joel: Uh, why exactly?

Crow: <Cammy> Things got a little wild at the after party... we
all drank a little too much and now... *cough*... there may be a video
or three for sale floating around the internet...

Tom: <Chun-Li> I told you that Joe Francis guy couldn't
be trusted!


>It was as if Shadolaw brought them together, giving them a cause
>to fight alongside with each other:

Tom: <Chun-Li> As if!

Joel: <Cammy> Yeah, we totally hooked up on Ashley Madison!  


>Guile lost his best friend Charlie, Chun li's father died in the
>hands of that murderous fiend, and Cammy…have some /family /
>relationship with the dictator.

Crow: Well, technically Cammy IS full of Bison.

Joel: <groans>


>After his death, the bond between them slowly but steadily dissolved,
>like snow melting when spring approaches.

Tom: Or like an acid reacting within a solution by precipitating a
compound.

Crow: Once again, this has been Mystery SCIENCE Theater 3000.


>In those 2 months, Guile took a break and decided to make
>lost time with his family.

Crow: Until Bison met his wife... now Guile has to split custody of his
little ones with Shadaloo.


>Julia and Amy were elated over this, especially Julia, who was
>glad she need not worry whether her husband was going to
>return in one piece.

Joel: She really sucked at jigsaw puzzles.


>Those were the best 2 months he had in his life.

Crow: <Guile> FINALLY caught up on my Netflix list, sweet.

Joel: <Guile> Kids, grab daddy another brewski!  Best family
bonding time EVER!


>Unfortunately, this peaceful visage was shattered like glass with a
>single phone call by Cammy 2 nights ago.

Tom: <Cammy> I'm pregnant, Poison's the father and I'm
gonna KILL ALL THREE OF US!!!

Crow: <Guile> Hoo boy, give me a sec... Honey?  Do we
have any dip left?


>Guile gazed upon the newcomer, observing that she scantly
>changed at all since the last time they met.

Tom: He knew things was serious when she didn't even
bother to swap her color palette.


>Perhaps she seemed more tired; her eyes devoid of any vigour or
>fighting spirt in them, eye bags hung noticeably under her eyes.
>She looked worse off than him.

Joel: <Chun-Li> Eye bag collection was Friday and I
missed it!


>Chun Li took a seat beside him, letting a weary moan as she
>did do. She adjust her unkempt her hairs she stared exhaustedly
>at Guile.

Crow: <Chun-Li> What the hell was I just doing again?

Joel: <Guile> *shrugs*


>"How did it go?"
>
>"Smoothly." Guile replied sarcastically as he crossed his arms to
>his chest, letting out a sigh.

Tom: <Guile> Like spreading peanut butter on a pineapple.


>"When I told Julia about the possible revival of Shadolaw, she
>looked at me with disbelief and started reminding me that the
>organization is gone,

Crow: <Julia> Ever since they started sampling their own
product, it's been absenteeism city over there!


>before changing tactics and begging me to stay, to allow sleeping
>dogs to lie.

Joel: <Guile> But honey, if I don't give them their shots,
who will?


>When this didn't work, she just turned her back to me, sobbing
>as she said "just go, then. I can't stop you. Nobody can."

Joel: <Julia> Don't go away mad... just go away.

Crow: Is this where they cue the montage?

Tom: <singing> THERE'S NO EASSSY WAY OUTTT...!!


>It pained my heart to do this, but I must. And when I was leaving,
>my little angel asked me innocently when I will be back…I was
>lost for words."
>
>"Looks like some people just wouldn't die, huh?" Chun Li gave a
>humourless smile.

Crow: <Guile> I know, right?  Drowning her obviously didn't
work and now she's more annoying than ever!


>"When I get my hands on that son of a bitch, I going to beat the living
>crap out of him and breaking all his fucking bones." Guile grumbled,
>his hands tightening into clenched fist.

Tom: <Chun-Li> Yeah, yeah, and you're going to kick that
son-of-a-bitch Bison's ass so HARD that the next Bison wanna-be
is gonna feel it, right?

Joel: <Guile> Oh, just go home already.


>Before Chun Li could respond, a pink-hair nurse in blue hospital scrubs
>approached them, squeezing pass the sea of people with difficulty.

Crow: <pink-hair nurse> Sorry for the wait, there's two anime
series and an OVA ahead of you.


>"Monsieur Guile?" The woman-though she appeared to be more of a teenage
>girl-smiled warmly.

Tom: It's anime.  She could be anything from a well-developed middle
schooler to a 800-year-old entity slumming on Earth for any contrived
reason.


>"That's me," Guile said gruffly as he stood up, nodding his head in
>affirmation.
>
>"Ms White is now able to see you. Would you follow me?" She then caught
>sight of Chun Li, who was also getting up. "I presume you are seeing Ms
>White too, /ou //avez-vous pas ? /''

Tom: <Chun-Li> No, I'm here to enjoy the April fresh scent of
disinfectant and death.


>''Yes.'' Chun LI replied, taking note of the girl's accent. It sounded
>French, though it seemed as if she was trying to mask it for some reason
>or another.

Crow: <Nurse as Officer Crabtree> Good moaning to the poo of
you.  Would you lick to butt some diffidells and doses for your friend
before you pee her?


>Looking at the girl's face closely, which was partially
>covered with a surgeon mask, Chun Li felt a pang of recognition, but
>she could not remember when or where she saw her before.

Tom: Nurse Joy #331 accepted a temporary transfer from the
Pokemon center in Paris.

Joel: <Chun-Li> Waitasecond.... Mom?!


>/Must be seeing things/ was the conclusion she arrived to as they made
>their way to Cammy's room.

Crow: <Chun-Li> After all, I've seen a million pink-haired girls that
look too young to be holding down jobs.


>Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Joel: It's clearly a crosstitch sampler... "Bless this Happy Mess".


>The 3 of them entered the rather tiny room, which almost everything was
>glaring white, from the walls to the ceiling, from the bedsheets to the
>floor.

Tom: <Chun-Li> AHHH!  DEATH!  <runs away>

Crow: <Nurse> Huh?

Joel: <Guile> Don't mind her, it's a Chinese thing.


>Only the blue window curtain offered any colour in this dull room.

Crow: <Cammy> I wish my wounds would reopen so I could
brighten my sheets up a bit.


>Both Guile and Chun Li's eyes fell onto the resting form of one of their
>comrades, her right leg wrapped in a cast and suspended mid-air from
>the ceiling.  

Joel: Sounds like a Dr. Forrester invention.  

Crow: <Dr. Forrester> Why should you use your limbs when they can be
so much more beneficial to everyone else around you?  Oh, Frannnnnk...

Tom: Dammit Crow, stop imitating him.  It's almost like he's
just across from me in the theater.


>Bandages bounded her forehead, somewhat giving the 2 of them a
>surreal feeling.

Joel: <Cammy> In retrospect, it was a bad time to try adding
headbutts to my moveset.


>None of them have seen Cammy in such a state before;

Crow: <Chun-Li> How the hell did you end up in Nebraska anyway?


>after all, she was an outstanding fighter who can defend herself from
>any threats, even managed to go toe to toe with for a few minutes when
>they last encountered the infamous dictator.

Joel: Fidel Castro?

Tom: Kim Jong Un?

Crow: Strong Bad?

Tom: Only if the player manages to spam Spiral Arrow for four of
those five minutes.


>It would seem that 's power had increased drastically since their
>last encounter.

Tom: Ah geez, we're back to this again?  Why would the
nameless tribal guy with mammoth hands beat up Cammy?

Crow: Just call him T. Hawk.

Tom: Hey, I will if the fanfic will!


>For a Doll to simply beat her black and blue…It was almost
>inconceivable.

Joel: You keep using those words, I do not think it means what you
think it means.


>Not to say that the Dolls weren't a threat. Each of them wields
>part of the Psycho Power which enhanced their body,

Tom: The doll with the enhanced lips was especially terrifying.

Crow: Be careful of the one with the strong tongue, she'll lick you good.

Joel: Of course, the one with the powerful knees just takes care of
the place while the Master is away.


>but due to their lifeless and robotic behaviour, it wasn't that hard to
>beat them as long as you have superior fighting skills.

Crow: Or a super-strong magnet to scramble their brainwaves.

Tom: Just wrap some wire around Blanka, he'll give you a
good electromagnet.


>So there was no way Cammy could have been beaten so badly, even
>if she was caught in surprise.
>
>It could only be the worst case scenario.

Joel: So what was it, Cammy versus.... chocolate and wine?

Crow: <chuckles> Why not?  Capcom's practically challenged
everyone else!


>The nurse closed the door with a 'click' as Guile and Chun Li
>approached the bed.

Tom: <Guile> Hey, are you going to finish that overly-dry chicken
breast and the soggy macaronis?

Crow: <Cammy> That's my puke, Guile.

Tom: <Guile> So you ARE finished with it?


>"Cammy…" Chun Li called out, her hands gripping tightly onto the
>railing beside the bed.
>
>Cammy slowly opened her eyes and let out a weak smile.

Joel: <Cammy> She's gone, got any of the good stuff for me now?


>"Hey guys. Sorry to have you seeing me like this on our first
>reunion." Cammy said before giving out a small cough.

Crow: <Cammy> Free coughs?  Anyone?

Tom: <Guile> I'm good.

Joel: <Chun-Li> I filled up on the plane.


>"It's good to see you." Both Guile and Chun Li said in union, before
>looking at each other awkwardly.

Tom: I now pronounce you dork and dorkier.


>Cammy's smile grew wider before shrinking when she returned to
>'business' mode.

Crow: <Cammy> Guile... you're fired.

Joel: <Chun-Li> Woo hoo!  Promotion!


>"I'm sure you both know why I called you. It seemed, no, it is
>guaranteed that Shadolaw is back. There is no doubt about it."

Tom: <Cammy> Eight, seven central... on NBC!

Crow: And cancelled after just two episodes.


>"Are you sure? Just because that Doll you had with you go berserk
>doesn't mean he's back. Maybe there is a screw loose in her mind after
>all the experiments Shadolaw did on her." Guile rebuked.

Joel: She was subjected to all of the failed pilots.

Crow: Shadaloo Blue... no.  Two Girls, a Guy and a Shadaloo..... no.

Tom: Shadaloo and Winnie the Pooh Too.... definitely not.


>Cammy's eyebrows knitted together as she replied, "I wish I could say
>that the revival of Shadolaw is on shaky ground, but from the way she
>acted, and the dark aura surrounding her…

Crow: And the fact that the entire plot depends on it or we've
been spinning our wheels at Mach 3...


>There is no question that the Psycho Power is behind this." "How can
>we say for certain? Maybe it was just the remains of the Psycho Power
>in her?" Chun Li piped in.

Tom: Yeah, maybe she's just running on Psycho fumes at this point?


>Cammy sighed. "The Psycho Power can't act on its own, it needs a wielder
>in order to be functional. The only known people who can do so
>successfully is Bison and myself. Since I'm a novice in controlling it,
>that leaves Bison."

Joel: <Cammy> Believe me, I've tried to control the Dolls for my
own twisted ends, but it's really freaking hard!


>Guile slammed his fist on the tableside, causing Chun Li to jump in
>surprise and Cammy to jerk on her bed. "Damn it, how can we kill this
>buster?

All: <laughs>

Crow: Damn, Guile's done gone Gangsta, son!
  

>Everything we tried only ends with failure!" Just as sudden as
>his fit came, it stopped, his shoulders slumped in defeat and sense
>of hopelessness.

Tom: <Guile> Someone get me a bed and a large shot of ketamine, stat.


>Chun LI placed a comforting arm around Guile. "Don't be dejected.
>When there's a will. There's a way."

Crow: <Guile> You just got that off the poster in the nurse's break
room, didn't you?

Joel: <Chun-Li> Hang in there, baby!


>"I'm having doubt on the 'will' part." Guile muttered, his face
>downcast. Chun Li ignored his comment and turned to Cammy.

Tom: <Chun-Li> Got some valium?

Joel: <Cammy> About two hours ago.


>"So what's our first course of action?"
>
>"Well." Cammy said as she adjusted herself carefully into a comfortable
>position. "Colonel Wolfman decided to place a tracking device on Juni,
>just in case of…situation like this.

Crow: Well, clap for the Wolfman!  Maybe military intelligence
*isn't* a myth.

Tom: Well technically, he was under orders from General Mummy.


>As we are speaking, Delta Red are now tracking her down. Hopefully
>they will be able to find where Bison is hidi-"
>
>Suddenly, Cammy's eyes widened as she stared passed her 2 visitors
>in shock.

Crow: <Cammy> Is that Patch Adams!?  Oh wow!  I've been
looking forward to this!


>"GUILE! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!" She screamed, waving her
>arms frantically just as a 'pfft' sound could be heard.

Joel: <Guile> Eh, no worries.  Chun-Li's been carpet bombing
me all day.

Crow: <Chun-Li> Eh, you love it, you know you do.