Supernatural Fan Fiction ❯ Angels and Demons: A Supernatural Fanfic ❯ Blood Ties ( Chapter 18 )

18. Blood Ties

Rachel jerked awake, her eyes wide and her skin clammy. Her head was pounding and her wrists and ankles were hurting, as if they'd been rubbed raw. She couldn't remember if or how she'd passed out and the details of her capture were just a little fuzzy. Once Anya had taken her out of Bobby's place she didn't remember anything. She remembered Anya stabbing Castiel with the angel blade, how she'd called the demon a black eyed bitch, how Anya had hissed that she didn't have a soul, but after that nothing. Her memory was a complete and utter blank.

Rachel took a shaky breath, the silence surrounding her eerie and highly disconcerting. If she looked straight up she could see a high stone ceiling. As her gaze traveled downward she saw that the room she was in had no windows or outside source of light. Craning her head to the side she could see that the floor was made up of large concrete blocks. In fact, everything looked grey and depressing. The room felt cold, small, dark, and musky, as if it hadn't been used in a hundred or so years.

Rachel tried to sit up but was unable to do so, seeing that her wrists and ankles were indeed bound in thick, heavy, black iron chains that tied her to a thick slab of rock. She shuddered, thinking of the altars that were used in centuries past for torture and sacrifice. She also realized that the clothes she had been wearing before were gone, replaced by a long, simple, sleeveless white gown. She gulped nervously, feeling as if she'd been punched in the gut. Torches lined the walls and cast a dim glow in the room. On her left side against the far wall she could see a table lined with all kinds of various tools that were used in primitive torture. The whole scene reminded her of pagan rituals involving human sacrifice. Wherever she was, it was not a pleasant place.

Footsteps on the cold, hard stone of the floor sent shivers of fear prickling down her spine. She decided the best strategy was to squeeze her eyes shut and feign sleep. She didn't need to open them to see who stood beside her a few seconds later. She could feel it. A hard slap to the face caused her eyes to snap open.

“Wake up. I didn't bring you down here so that you could sleep. I have other things in mind. I have to ask though, do you like the color I dressed you in? Kind of saintly, isn't it? White is the perfect color for the occasion. It will show all that glorious blood.” Anya murmured, giving Rachel a wintry smile and laughing darkly. Even Anya's amber eyes gleamed with a malevolent giddiness. Rachel said nothing, feeling blood seep down the side of her mouth, unsurprised. She had known this was coming, and she figured it some dark way that it was only fair. Angels tortured demons for information all the time so it was only natural that the opposite would prove true. Unfortunately Rachel wasn't immortal anymore. She was human. That made her vulnerable, easy to kill. She also didn't have a soul and that meant that if she did die that she wouldn't go to Heaven. In fact, she had no idea of where she would end up, if she went anywhere. Anya's spine chilling voice brought her back to the present.

“Now then, I'm going to get to the real fun stuff later. For now, I'll just slowly make you bleed and maybe even scream a little. For everything you've done to me you deserve everything I'm giving you and more. I'm merciful however because what I'm about to do isn't very tortuous. The real torment will come later. In the meantime, let's have some fun.”

She pulled out a knife and some salt. Setting the salt on the side of the slab, she slowly drew the metal edge of the blade over the underside of Rachel's pale arm, slowly slicing it open from her elbow to her wrist. The cut was shallow but bled easily. Rachel clenched her teeth, not making a sound. She had experienced worse injuries. But then Anya put salt on the open would and went over it again. This time Rachel's breath hissed out of her, the salt stinging as Anya deepened the cut. Then she went back up to where she'd started and cut a long rectangle down to Rachel's wrist, being careful not to nick any veins because she didn't want her prey to bleed out too fast. She slipped the knife in between Rachel's flesh and her body, slowly, torturously peeling the skin off. She laughed as an agonized scream bubbled up from Rachel's throat, thrashing against the chains that held her back.

Anya did the same thing to her other arm and then turned her attention to her legs. She stabbed the blade deep into Rachel's calf and went down to her nearly her heel. She did the same to the other leg. She then did to the rest of Rachel's body what she'd done to her arms, peeling every inch of skin off, laughing as blood flowed down the alter. Then Anya snapped her fingers and it was as if Rachel's skin had never even been broken, but Rachel still felt the pain. Then Anya took the blade and cut along her tibia. She cut to the bone, and once she could see it reached inside Rachel's leg and pulled it out. Rachel screamed in anguish. She poured salt into those wounds too. Rachel's cries never stopped. The same was done to her other leg. Once again, with the snap of Anya's fingers it was as if it had never happened. All that remained was the pain. It was horrendous, almost unbearable. Rachel was surprised that she hadn't passed out already. Anya set the blade aside on the table and grabbed something else that looked like a sledge hammer.

Gut wrenching sobs flowed from Rachel's mouth and her body trembled, screaming for her to run, but she was chained and helpless. She had no idea how long the next round of torture lasted but it seemed endless. Even Hell couldn't compare to what she was experiencing, what was to come. Anya wielded the hammer with an iron fist, breaking almost every bone in Rachel's body, starting with her elbows and going to her hands, then legs, shattering her femurs and tibias before moving to her kneecaps, ankles, and feet. She saved Rachel's ribs for last, breaking them so that the bones punctured her lungs and she slowly suffocated. Rachel faded into blissful blackness.

However long she was out didn't last long enough. Hearing something like a snap she was instantly brought back. This time Anya had a syringe filled with some unidentifiable black substance. She smiled evilly, injecting it into Rachel's veins. Within seconds Rachel felt like her skin was boiling, fire racing through her veins and arteries, literally feeling as if her body was burning from the inside out. The pain it caused was intolerable and Rachel started screaming once again, her throat's soreness overridden by the agony she was experiencing. Rachel felt her heart stutter and her chest. It became increasingly difficult to breath and her heart pounded painfully, the rhythm quickly slowing down. Rachel felt lightheaded and dizzy, her vision blurring, her breath coming in short gasps as her body shut down, but she didn't care. Anything was better than the agony she felt, the ever constant pain, the never ending torture. She slipped into murky blackness for the second time.

All too soon she was brought back to reality once again. This time Anya had an even bigger syringe filled with cyanide. By this time Rachel's throat was so raw that she couldn't even moan much less scream. Her eyes had long ago cried their last tears and were burning. Anya's demonic laughter echoed in her head as she was injected with the poison. Within seconds she felt her heart's rhythm become erratic. She couldn't breathe and her head was pounding. Pain shot through her body, so much so that she didn't even realize she was foaming at the mouth. She could feel her body dying, screaming for oxygen. Every cell seemed to burst inside her in a flash of sharp pain. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she started seizing violently, her body flopping against the stone slab, hearing the chains rattle and her flesh hit the rock over and over.

“This is only the beginning.” She heard Anya's demonic voice whisper inside her head. Then she was pulled under the blanket of death once again and for a time heard and thought no more.

“I don't care what deals we have to make or what it takes. We have to find her before Anya kills her. She's my best friend for Christ's sake! What the Hell makes you think you have any idea what this feels like? You haven't walked millennia with her, you hardly fucking know her! You're a dead man!” Grace yelled, her eyes turning black. Dean and Castiel grabbed her, holding her back and keeping Grace from ripping the crossroad demon's throat out. The demon, which went by Liam, had been stupid enough to suggest that the group just let Rachel go and save their own asses. Dean and Sam had summoned him there hoping to find information on Rachel's location. With the way things were going however, Liam might not even survive to make it to the negotiation stage.

“I'll rip your throat out you sorry son of a bitch! We're talking about a mortal life here, not an angel's! Why the Hell should you care?” Ruby snarled, pulling out her blade as her eyes likewise turned dark. Sam and Bobby grabbed her right before she stabbed the guy. Liam looked absolutely terrified but stammered, “I-I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Anya's been after this one for months, and if she found out I'd helped you she'd destroy me. What do you expect me to do?”

“It's not Anya you have to worry about you spineless bastard, it's me!” Grace screamed, breaking free of Dean and Castiel's hold and pulling out her blade. She round house kicked him in the face and then grabbed him by the shirt collar, whirling him around and plunging her blade deep into his chest, hissing as his body gave up the demonic spirit.

“What?” she snapped, turning around and seeing the shocked expressions of Castiel and the humans.

“Nothing.” Dean mumbled. “Remind me not to get on her bad side.” He whispered to Sam.

“I'll try, but you did marry her.” Sam responded. Grace and Ruby's eyes faded back to normal and they slipped their blades into their pockets.

“Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don't kill the messenger?” apparently not. Liam was one of my best men. I take it his offer didn't appease you?” Crawley murmured, materializing behind Grace. She pulled out her blade and regarded him suspiciously.

“Hold on there lovely, I'm not here to cause trouble. Quite the opposite in fact. I'm here to help you morons again.” He said.

“Yeah, because that went so well last time.” Dean murmured snidely.

“It's not my bloody fault that the Colt didn't work on Lucifer! How was I to know? Now, I understand that Anya has one of your angel friends in captivity? I can tell you where she is you know.” Crawley replied.

“Why would you help us?” Ruby asked guardedly.

“The same reason as the last time. I want Anya out of office. She's defeated Raphael you know. She was a nasty bitch before, but now it's magnified tenfold. She isn't a Goddess yet, but if she breaks many more seals on Purgatory, let's just say it won't be pretty when she starts destroying your little planet, as well as us. As it stands, the only way to stop that is to free your little Guardian friend. She's the only one who can put a stop to this, considering the Almighty himself doesn't seem keen on making an appearance and putting this mess back in order.”

“What do you want in return?” Dean murmured.

“Ahh, that's a good question. The only thing I want is the Colt. It didn't work on Anya anyway. Sam already tried it out.” Crawley said. Dean looked at Sam, taken aback. “You did?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, I shot a bullet at her with the Colt and it didn't work. I don't understand why, but it didn't. As far as I'm concerned, he can have it.”

They made the exchange and then Crawley disappeared, promising to come back as soon as the complicated but necessary ritual he'd have to do was complete. In the meantime Cassie and Heather appeared, confirming what Crawley had told them about Raphael.

“This is bad, because if we can't get to Rachel in time and save her, we'll probably all be destroyed.” Cassie murmured.

“I don't quite understand. If Anya absorbed Raphael's powers then how is it that she's still a demon and not something more powerful?” Sam asked.

“Well you see, Anya just hasn't absorbed enough souls to become a higher power yet. If she opens up Purgatory and absorbs all of those souls, there's like millions mind you, then she'll become the new God.”

“But she's not yet right? If she's still a demon then why didn't our blades work on her, or the rock salt? Sam even used the Colt and it didn't even faze her.” Ruby said.

“Simple. She's just too powerful. It's complicated, but right now she's as powerful as Lucifer was, minus the angel part. We don't understand that either, but we're attributing it to the fact that she wasn't an archangel before she fell. That's about all we can come up with.” Heather responded.

“Don't get me wrong, I'm assuming you're going to help us get Rachel back, and I appreciate it, but will no one else help us?” Castiel murmured. The sisters shook their heads.

“It's been complete and utter chaos up there. Everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off. Our superiors are trying to appoint somebody new to lead us, but after the fiasco with Raphael and with the other archangels being gone, I don't think they have a clue of what to do.” Cassie said.

Crawley appeared again and nearly had a heart attack when he saw two other angels, Cassie and Heather. After they reassured him that they weren't going to hurt him, or as he so eloquently put it, light his ass up with holy fire, he told the group the coordinates of where Rachel was being kept. Cassie, Heather, Crawley, Castiel, Bobby, Sam, Ruby, and Grace had no problems teleporting anywhere. It was Dean who had some issues.

“The last time I was zapped somewhere…” he defensively began.

“Yeah, yeah, you were constipated. Well sorry Dean Winchester but I don't give a damn right now and come Hell or high water, we're going to save Rachel.” Grace snapped, grabbing his hand and disappearing. Everyone else followed suit.

“Easter Island, really? What the Hell?” Sam mumbled, looking around.

Everyone looked skeptically at Crawley. “Don't ask me how the bloody Hell it works, I don't know!”

He led them to Stonehenge and they all just balked at him. He sighed and rolled his eyes. Leading them behind one of the stones he murmured a few unintelligible words and a second later they were inside what looked like a medieval castle.

“Where the fuck are we?” Ruby muttered. Cassie and Heather cringed at the obscenity but said nothing.

“We're underground, in the Eye of Hades more specifically. It's a series of tunnels that runs all through the demon underground. It's not Hell, more like a place where demons go when they're not pestering the mortals, if they're free that is.” Crawley said.

“Well, you obviously know this place, so lead the way.” Castiel murmured, anxious to find Rachel. Crawley let the group down the dark hallway, the only light coming from a flashlight he had. Everyone said a silent prayer, hoping to find Rachel soon.

Rachel awoke and felt sharp, white hot pain in the palms of her hands and her feet. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized that they had been pierced through with iron spikes. Her eyes darted from side to side and with growing apprehension she realized that she had been nailed to a cross. She felt the wood dig into her back and shuddered, knowing full and well who Anya was mocking. The very thought made Rachel sick.

“So tell me, do you like being a martyr? Too bad you can't save anyone huh angel girl. You're not Jesus.” Rachel heard a cold voice alight with amusement behind her and knew it was Anya. The demon came around where she could see and gathering up some courage and feeling outrage, Rachel spat on her.

“How dare you mock Christ! You have no right and God will make you pay for this! You're an abomination, worse than the Whore of Babylon! You deserve to burn for this.” Rachel hissed, biting back an oath as Anya slapped her face with a hard smack.

“I beg to differ. You see, I murdered Raphael and gained all of his power, as well as those souls he absorbed. Soon I'll open the gates of Purgatory and become more powerful than anything in creation. There are however, more pressing matters. You for instance, are at the top of my list. I'm going to restore those powers of yours and then I'm going to slowly take them away. I have the angel blade.”

Anya laughed maniacally, smiling evilly and pulled out the blade. Rachel felt her powers come back, feeling strong. Before she could rip herself away however, Anya stabbed her in the chest, missing her heart by inches, pinning her to the cross. By the time Anya yanked the blade out of her flesh, Rachel could hardly move. She slowly drew the blade across Rachel's skin and the angel felt her power slowly ebb away with every new cut inflicted. It was utter torture, being so helpless. “If you profess your love and adoration for me and bow down then I'll spare you. I plan on being a merciful being.” Anya said.

“I would rather die than ever bow down before you. There is only one God and you can never hope to win. Look at what happened to Lucifer. What makes you think your fate will be any different? You can't play God.” Rachel murmured.

“Maybe not now, but once I absorb the millions of souls in Purgatory, you'll be begging for mercy. No one will stop me, least of all you. Get prepared Rachel, judgment is coming. You refused my offer of salvation and for that you will be tortured for all of eternity. Your friends will attempt to save you but I'll find them. Then I'll bring them here and make you watch as they die.” Anya hissed.

Rachel felt dizzy and lightheaded. Her dress was sticky with blood, the metallic smell hanging in the air. She felt weak, tired. “God will judge the wicked Anya.” She murmured.

She yelped as Anya painfully yanked her hair. Rachel shuddered, feeling the demon's breath on her ear as she whispered softly, her words chilling Rachel to her very bones.

“What are you talking about? I am your new God.”

“Are you sure this is it? Room 23 seems a little odd.” Bobby murmured. “Well what where you expecting it to be, room 666?” Crawley groused, grabbing the door handle. It slowly creaked open. Stepping soundlessly into the dimly lit room they found a horrific sight.

A large stone altar was covered in thick red blood. It slid down the sides and pooled on the floor. A small trail of it drew their eyes to Rachel's body, hanging limply on a cross. Her clothes had been changed and the white gown she wore was covered in large splotches of blood, dry or new they couldn't tell. Her skin was pale, ashen. Her black hair hung down like a midnight curtain, hiding her face. They could see what looked like faint scars and bruises along the underside of her arms. That was only what they could see. They had no idea of how bad the internal damage was.

“We have to get her down.” Grace said, walking over to the cross. Cassie and Heather grabbed the horizontal plank and before anyone could blink had the cross on the cold stone ground. Grace's heart stopped as she looked at the bruised, mutilated, broken body of her best friend. Her hands and feet were nailed through with large iron spikes, dripping blood having dried in a downward stream on Rachel's hands and feet. Close up, her dress was a mixture of red and white. Most of the blood was dry, but some of it was fresh. Pulling back Rachel's inky black hair, some of it caked and matted with blood, she could see scratches and bruises along her friend's jaw line and cheeks. There was dried blood there as well, from the side of Rachel's mouth. Her lips were swollen and cut, as she'd no doubt bitten them to keep from screaming at one point or another. Her eyes were swollen shut as well, the dark grey circles standing in contrast to Rachel's skin, even in it's bruised state. If not for the fact that she could hear her best friend's heart beating, Grace would have been certain that Rachel was dead.

“We need to get her to the hospital. There's no telling how bad the internal damage is.” Ruby murmured. Once the iron spikes had been pulled out of her palms and feet, Castiel gently and tenderly picked her up, carefully holding her in his arms, almost afraid to hurt her. He couldn't help but cry silently, warm wet tears sliding down his face as he held his wife's limp body, the woman who meant more than anything to him. to have been treated in such a way, beaten, left for dead, was beyond abhorrent, it was evil. After making sure that Rachel's surface injuries were closed, the group teleported to a hospital, Cassie and Heather opting to stay behind and look for Anya. Crawley did as well, and after making him promise to give Anya the most painful death imaginable, Grace and Ruby disappeared along with everyone else, Rachel being the only thought in their minds.

Of course they had to make up some outrageous story, because the hospital staff would have committed all of them had they known what had actually transpired. So after Dean lied about domestic violence they were all ushered into the waiting room while Rachel was prepped for surgery. The doctors felt exploratory surgery was their best bet, because they didn't have any idea of how bad the internal injuries were either.

“Why couldn't you heal Rachel completely? No offense Cas.” Sam asked curiously once he had sat down. Castiel sighed, looking annoyed. “I've been cut off from Heaven Sam. My powers are slowly fading. I didn't have enough juice to pull something like that off.”

“But Rachel should be fine right? I mean, it could have been worse. She could have been dead. I was in worse shape when that demon put me into a coma, wasn't I Sammy?' Dean murmured. Sam nodded. “Yeah, you were. So that means she should be fine then.”

“Okay guys, I hate to bust your bubble, but the pep speech isn't working. There's no telling what Anya did to her. We have no idea of what Rachel's real injuries are. She could be dead right now for all we know.” Ruby replied.

“How dare you! Rachel is not going to die, and once we kick Anya's ass and everything goes back to normal, you'll be next if you keep saying things like that. You're supposed to be her friend!” Grace hissed.

“Well excuse me for being logical about this! It could happen you know! And I am her friend!” Ruby retorted.

Grace rolled her eyes and snorted. “Yeah, some friend you are, talking about her like she's already dead.”

“Well you're the one who's freaking out about it!” Ruby said. Before she could even blink Grace tackled her to the ground and landed a good punch in the face before Bobby pulled her off of Ruby.

“Will you igits get a hold of yourselves for just a minute? You ain't the only ones who are worried about her! We all are, and if you really care about what she wants, you'll try and comfort one another instead of ripping each other's throats out. Do you really think this is what Rachel would want?”

“No.” they responded glumly. Grace offered Ruby a helping hand up and she took it. They both apologized.

Castiel had been sitting quietly in a chair the whole time, not saying anything, staring out into space as his mind replayed the images he had seen, thinking about what Rachel must have endured, the pain, the agonizing torture. He was scared, plain and simple. His face was a mask of solemn worry, his grey eyes shimmering with trepidation.

“Cas, are you alright? Cas?” Grace murmured quietly, feeling a little culpable. The whole time that she'd been worried, the angel's feelings had never crossed her mind. She felt bad because no one had tried to comfort him, especially her. If anyone was worried about Rachel, it was Castiel. He didn't respond to her question however, just kept staring gloomily out into the air, looking more anxious and depressed with every minute that passed.

“Let's give him some time. He needs to sort through his feelings. Coffee anyone?” Sam murmured, looking over at Castiel and feeling a pang of sympathy, along with a little embarrassment. He couldn't imagine what his friend must be feeling, and he didn't know what to say. Coffee wouldn't solve his problems of course, but it would give him time to think of something, anything. Ruby and Grace agreed to go with him.

“I'm good, thanks.” Dean murmured, taking a seat beside the despairing angel. “I like mine black.” Bobby said, handing Sam a few dollars. Taking a seat on the other side of Castiel, he looked at Dean, suddenly at a loss for words.

“I can't pretend to know what you're going through. I would be handling it differently if it was Grace lying in there and not Rachel, but know this. We're here for you if you need us, alright? We're your friends, and we care about Rachel too.” Dean murmured, placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder. The angel's hazy grey eyes cleared for a moment and he looked at Dean with unshed tears in his eyes, nodding. Then he went back to his thoughts.

Hours passed without any word on Rachel's condition. Coffee cups were stacked on the table along with magazines that were read at least half a dozen times each. Muted conversations and whispers were the only sounds to be heard in the small waiting room during the predawn hours. Finally, after waiting for an eternity it seemed, they met with the surgeon. He revealed that no bones were broken and that they had stopped all internal bleeding. Rachel seemed fine other than a few bumps and bruises and was in recovery. They were free to see her, but he advised that they let her rest. A wave of relief washed over them and the tension in the air seemed to lessen.

Walking into Rachel's room they saw that she looked like she was asleep. Grace had honestly expected her friend to be hooked up to all kinds of odd machines and was relieved to find that after everything that had occurred, Rachel seemed to be alright. She certainly could have been worse. Castiel took a seat by the bed and everyone else found some chairs and did likewise, Grace and Dean sitting on the opposite side of Castiel and Bobby, Sam, and Ruby sitting adjacent to them.

“Wow, I have to admit, I thought it was going to be a whole lot worse.” Dean murmured.

“I'm just glad there's no permanent damage.” Grace said.

“Yeah, at least the internal bleeding's stopped.” Ruby added.

“It's not the physical damage that concerns me. Being tortured like that leaves huge emotional and mental scars. That's what I'm worried about.” Bobby said sighing.

“Yeah, it certainly does a number on a person.” Sam mumbled, looking over at Dean. Dean rolled his eyes and was sore tempted to give his little brother the finger, but resisted the urge. An angel was sitting right across from him after all.

“What is it Cas?” he asked, noticing that his friend was regarding his wife in confusion and puzzlement. He looked up at Dean, his eyes widening slightly. “I think she's immortal again. Can't you sense her power?”

“I can! It's faint but growing slowly. Oh, this is awesome, she'll be healed in no time and then she can totally kick Anya's ass!” Grace squealed, squirming in her seat.

“How is that even possible? The only thing I can think of is Anya restoring her powers, but why would she do something as stupid as that?” Ruby said incredulously.

“Who gives a fuck? She's alive and getting stronger! We're saved! Nothing can spoil how happy I am right now!” Grace exclaimed, obviously happy and excited. Castiel smiled grimly at her enthusiasm, knowing that they weren't quite out of the woods yet.

A knock sounded at the door and they all turned, regarding the somber, solemn faced doctor that stepped into the room warily. He had thinning grey hair and piercing blue eyes, appearing to be in his mid 50's. Judging by his serious expression, he had bad news. Dean nudged Grace. “I think you spoke too soon.” He whispered. She nodded, suddenly feeling like she'd been punched in the gut. Something was definitely wrong. Her looked at them all with something close to apathy and cleared his throat to speak. “Which one of you is the husband?”

Castiel exchanged a nervous glance with Dean but stood up. “I am.” The man introduced himself as Doctor Reynolds and looked at Castiel with sympathy, something close to pity or sadness. “Come with me, there's something you should know.” He murmured, grabbing Castiel's arm and leading him out of the room.

Everyone else looked at each other, feeling confused and looking slightly bewildered. “I hope I'm not the only one who's puzzled here, but what the Hell just happened?” Bobby said. Dean and Sam shrugged. Grace and Ruby were perplexed. “I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see.” Grace quietly murmured.

Outside of Rachel's room, the conversation was going differently. Castiel regarded the human with caution, not knowing what possible reason the doctor would have for needing to speak to him in private.

“I'm sorry for your loss. We did everything we could to try and stop it, but we couldn't. Don't feel too bad now, you and your wife are young. You can always try again.” Doctor Reynolds murmured, putting a reassuring hand on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel looked back at him, obviously perplexed. “I'm sorry Doctor, but I don't understand what you are referring to.”

The doctor looked a little surprised. “You mean, you didn't know?”

“Know what?” he replied curiously.

The doctor's eyes looked sad and weary. What he said next completely caught Castiel off guard. “I'm sorry son, I thought you knew. Your wife was a little over 2 months along. Due to the trauma she's recently been through however, she's suffered a miscarriage. She should recover and be fine. I'm truly sorry for your loss. I thought you knew. Did your wife know?”

Castiel forced himself to suck in a breath, his mind reeling. The room started spinning and he would have hit the floor had the doctor not caught his arm to steady him. “N-no. I-I don't think she had any idea.” He breathlessly stammered, being completely shocked.

The doctor looked at him sadly. “You have my sympathies. I'm very sorry.” After he had left him, Castiel walked back into the room, looking both shocked and disbelieving, his face paler than usual. He collapsed into his chair and sat in silence for a few seconds as the news sank in, staring at the ring on Rachel's hand. Everyone exchanged nervous glances, looking at the angel with obvious concern and worry, wondering what could have distressed him so. Finally, unable to take it anymore, Grace broke the silence. “What did the doctor say Cas? Is Rachel alright?'

Castiel took a deep breath and willed himself to meet Grace's gaze. The words he spoke sounded like they were coming from someone else. They should have belonged to someone else. “She had a miscarriage. Apparently she was two months along. I didn't know. Rachel didn't know. How could this have even happened?” he breathed shakily, tears starting to fall from his eyes as the news sank in.

“God. Cas, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.” Dean said, placing a comforting hand on the angel's shoulder. Sam did the same.

“She was pregnant? But how? It's impossible.” Ruby mumbled, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Oh God, this is going to kill Rachel. She never thought she could have kids and now she's just lost one she never even knew she had. It'll break her heart. She'll be devastated.” Grace sniffed, going over to Castiel and hugging him. After a moment of hesitation he hugged her back, taking the comfort she so freely offered, too numb to do otherwise. I was going to be a father. I could've had a son, but now……..how am I going to tell Rachel?

Seeing Castiel cry made everyone a little teary eyed, Dean and Bobby included. Everyone told him how sorry they were, offering comfort where they could. Grace even offered to tell Rachel for him, but Castiel knew he should tell her. He politely refused the offer.

The hours passed and Cassie and Heather dropped by, checking on Rachel and sharing that they had been unable to capture Anya. They didn't know where Crawley had snuck off to either. Castiel told them the news and they gave him their sympathy, hugging him, murmuring how sorry they were for his loss. They told him that Anya, while on the run, was being pursued by some angels and would probably be captured soon. Then Cassie gave him Rachel's sword, saying that she had found it while tracking Anya and that as the Guardian Rachel would no doubt want it back. Apparently everyone knew that Rachel's powers had been restored. They told everyone goodbye and vanished.

Evening turned into night and after watching the news, Bobby, Dean, and Sam all fell asleep in their chairs. Ruby and Grace wanted to talk to Castiel, who hadn't said a word since Cassie and Heather's departure, but couldn't find the words to say. There were no words to make right the wrongs. They sat in silence for awhile. After a good hour of hearing nothing but soft snores and the ticking of the clock on the wall, Grace and Ruby quietly murmured that they were going to get some coffee and walked outside.

Castiel sat silently, holding Rachel's soft, warm hand and half wishing she would stay asleep. He didn't know how he was going to tell her, couldn't even conjure up the words to say. He could hardly believe it himself, but it did explain some things, like her fatigue, throwing up, etc. Classic pregnancy symptoms, and he had missed them all. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and felt a trickle of relief as Rachel's dark eyes fluttered open.

For a moment Rachel's vision was hazy. She vaguely remembered the last round of Anya's torture, but everything after that was fuzzy. Maybe she had been dreaming when she'd felt the nails being pulled out of her hands and feet, or Grace's voice, or smelling Castiel's scent. Her thoughts gradually cleared and she realized she wasn't dreaming. Looking around, she could see that she must be in a hospital. Sam, Dean, and Bobby were softly snoring away, being asleep in chairs. Her eyes darted around and finally settled on Castiel, who gave her a happy smile, looking incredibly tired and relieved.

“You're finally awake. You've had everyone incredibly worried you know. I thought I might lose you.” He murmured, squeezing her hand and giving her a gentle kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, content to hold her, happy that she was alright. For awhile, after the kiss had ended, she stayed in his embrace and said nothing, relieved that it wasn't all a dream and that she really was safe, for the moment.

“How do you feel?” he asked. She closed her eyes, breathing in his comforting scent, before softly whispering, “Like I've been run over by a truck.”

“Your powers are back.” he said. Rachel smiled. “Apparently. My body is healing fast. With every minute that passes the pain lessens a bit.”

“That's good. You should be back to normal in no time.” Castiel replied. He seemed just a little tense and it didn't go unnoticed by Rachel. “Cas, is everything alright? No one is hurt or anything?”

“Um….yes. Everything is fine….except for what I have to tell you next. I can't believe I didn't pick up on it, and I know you didn't or you would have said something. Even the doctor was surprised we didn't know, but it's not your fault and it's not mine, the only one we can blame is Anya. God, if she'd just taken me instead of you then this never would have happened.”

Rachel felt more than a little confused. Looking up into her husband's face she asked, “Cas, what in Heaven's name are you talking about?”

He gulped nervously, took a breath, and then decided he just might as well say it. “You had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry honey, I had no idea until today. The doctors tried everything they could to save the baby but it just wasn't possible, not with everything you went through.”

“I was pregnant? But, that's impossible! How did that happen? I mean, immortals aren't supposed to get pregnant, we can't have children, it's against the rules! So then how….” Rachel confusedly stuttered.

“I don't know. No one does.” Castiel said.

“I can't believe it……I was going to have a baby….our baby……and Anya killed it……oh sweet Jesus…..” she murmured, the news beginning to sink in. Her eyes watered slightly and she blinked. “It's best I didn't know. It's good I didn't know. You can't want something you didn't even know you had, right?” she whispered, tears beginning to roll down her face. I never thought it was possible…..I didn't even know…….and now that it's gone………why do I want it?

She cried a little, for her own suffering and losing her baby, at the same time feeling guilty because she felt like she should feel sadder or sob about it. But she hadn't known. Even now that she did, it still didn't hurt her as badly as it could have. She wiped her eyes and hugged Cas, murmuring that she was fine.

“Are you sure? You can cry more if you want to. It's me you know.” He said. Rachel smiled and shook her head. “I'm alright. Like I said, its best I didn't know. Having a baby would have changed everything you know, our entire lives…….I don't know if I could handle a kid who craved cheeseburgers as much as you do.” She said giggling. Castiel smiled and laughed. She kissed him, happy to be back with her friends, her family. After they managed to pull away from each other she scooted over to the far side of the bed and he climbed in beside her. She snuggled up next to him and laid her head on his chest, feeling happy, comforted, and safe. For awhile they said nothing, reveling in each others presence and feeling content. For a few minutes they could just lay there and pretend that everything was right in the world.

“I'm sorry I can't give you children you know. If I could, well, you'd probably end up barefoot and pregnant all the time.” Castiel murmured quietly, sounding amused at the thought. Rachel rolled her eyes and playfully punched him. “Shut up. I'd rather have you than all the children in the world. At least you can clean up after yourself. Besides, you know I don't like kids anyway.” She giggled.

“Does that mean you wouldn't want to have my children? I'm offended.” He said laughingly, feigning hurt feelings. Rachel smiled. “Of course I would if I could. I can't though, so that's that. You know, when I married you I honestly thought we'd never have this discussion.”

“You and me both. Between my like of cheeseburgers and your penchant for vodka, we'd probably make terrible parents anyway.” Castiel said, his voice alight with amusement.

“Aww, I think you would have made a good father. We would've had to teach the kid people skills and how to use a cell phone, but other than that he probably would've turned out fine.” Rachel murmured.

“I don't know about that. The kid might have a few issues, especially with uncles like Sam and Dean. Can you imagine what that would be like?” Castiel said. He felt Rachel shudder. “The kid would probably be a regular Casanova and tote a laptop around. That's a scary thought.”

Their laughter faded and Castiel sighed. “It really is best that we never have kids, or be allowed to, considering the implications. Do you remember that case a few months back involving that child with the supernatural powers?”

Rachel nodded, remembering that Castiel had been turned into a piece of plastic. “Yeah, I remember. The Anti-Christ kid. I think he disappeared to Australia or something. It was funny that he turned you into a toy though.” She murmured giggling.

“It was not.” Castiel said adamantly. “If that boy hadn't changed me back when he did, then his pet dog would've eaten me for lunch. I can still see the slobber dripping out of its mouth.” He shuddered at the thought. Rachel laughed.

The conversation faded into silence again. Rachel felt tired but didn't want to sleep. Castiel's fingers were tracing circles on her back and it felt oh so good. However relaxed she felt, Rachel's thoughts kept drifting back to children, more specifically her baby, one she'd never even known existed. She sighed softly whispered, “Our baby is safe up in Heaven now. No one can ever hurt him again.” Castiel kissed her head and gave her a gentle squeeze. “I know he is honey, and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.”

After taking quite possibly the longest sojourn for coffee in the history of mankind or the world, Grace and Ruby finally returned. When Grace saw that Rachel was awake however she squealed in total delight and somehow ended up spilling coffee all over Ruby. Ignoring her spluttering, she went over to Rachel and hugged her best friend's neck.

“Oh my God Rachel! I was so worried about you! Are you okay?” she said, tears of joy streaming down her face. Rachel smiled, nodding. Grace looked at Castiel and asked, “Did you tell her?” he nodded and Grace hugged Rachel harder. “Oh Rachel I'm so sorry about the baby. I mean, who knew you'd get pregnant? You always hated kids.” She said.

Once she was able to pry Grace off of her, Ruby came over, apologizing for being covered in coffee, giving Grace a glare and hugging Rachel. “I'm glad you're okay. Sorry about the miscarriage though, you must feel terrible. It wasn't your fault.”

“I know, but thanks anyway Ruby.” Rachel said. She noticed that all the commotion had disturbed the human's sleep and once they were all up they came and hugged her too, murmuring how bad they felt that she'd had a miscarriage but how happy they were that she was alright. For the next couple of hours they talked about what had transpired after Rachel's disappearance, how they'd had help from Crawley, Cassie and Heather coming along, when they'd found her, etc. Rachel in turn, told them the various things that Anya had done to her, peeling off her skin, breaking her bones, poisoning her with cyanide, dying and being resurrected multiple times, etc. it was pretty gruesome, but necessary. Communication was very important. After awhile the humans grew tired and went back to sleep. Ruby grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, looking for something to watch while keeping the volume low. Castiel watched as she settled on a game show, never leaving Rachel's side. She and Grace talked in hushed whispers.

“So, you're really okay then, not just putting up a brave front so that no one will see you cry right?” Grace asked gently. Rachel smiled. “I'm fine Grace. Really. You have to admit, with everything that's happened in the past year, our lives aren't conducive for raising kids. Look at how Sam and Dean turned out.” She teased.

“Yeah, I know. Still, I wouldn't have minded being called Aunt Gracie you know. Feel free to try again. I don't mind.” Grace said laughingly, a big grin on her face.

“We didn't try to begin with. It just…..sort of….happened. You know? I can't explain it. Besides, can you imagine how Dean would react if he got called Uncle?” Rachel murmured giggling. Grace covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. “He'd probably fall over dead. Good God, can you imagine what kind of kids Sam and Ruby would have? Hypothetically mind you.”

Rachel's eyes widened. “I don't even want to imagine the chaos that would ensue, and if you guys had kids at the same time…….Good Lord, it would be a mad house at home!”

Grace suddenly grew serious. “Oh. My. God. Can you imagine what would happen if you, Ruby, and I all got pregnant at the same time?” Her blue eyes met Rachel's brown ones and they busted out laughing.

“Can you imagine what it would be like living with three pregnant women in the same house? Our husbands would go nuts!” Grace murmured in between giggles.

“Our husbands? Please, it would be Bobby I'd worry about, poor guy would probably commit himself, or have a stroke. Either way, it would be totally insane.” Rachel said laughingly.

Grace managed to stop giggling and sighed. “Oh well, that will never happen.”

“Yes, thank goodness. It will never happen.” Rachel murmured. They both couldn't help but laugh again. It was a ludicrous thought really, not to mention impossible.

After awhile Rachel fell asleep and so did Grace. Ruby eventually turned the TV off and decided to take a nap because she didn't have anything else to do. Castiel stayed awake though, keeping watch.

During the early morning hours, about 5 a.m. he felt something in Rachel's cardiac rhythm change. Grace and Ruby felt it to0 and bolted awake, seeing that Rachel's heartbeat was speeding up, fast.

“Ruby, go get the nurse.” Grace barked, waking up the humans. “What is it?” Dean groggily mumbled. A loud, steady beeping sound turned their attention to the bed.

Rachel's heart had stopped.

Grace started hyperventilating. Oh no, this cannot be happening! No, no, no, no, no!

“We've got a code blue people!” she vaguely heard a nurse yell. She, along with everyone else was ushered out of the room as half a dozen nurses ran in with a crash cart, a sleepy eyed doctor trailing close behind.

Castiel, Grace, Dean, Sam, Ruby, and Bobby all waited outside the room anxiously. Castiel looked around, his eyes widening. “I see at least half a dozen reapers.”

“Oh God, does that mean that Rachel's dead?” Ruby exclaimed, horrified. Castiel shook his head, still able to feel her spirit, and murmured that he didn't know why the reapers where there.

Grace started to speak but then got a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach. Turning, she saw the elevator doors open.

Anya walked out. “Surprised to see me? I'm here to kill an angel, but I don't mind toying with the rest of you first. I always did like foreplay.” Her maniacal, psychotic laugh sent shivers of fear down Grace's spine. She and Ruby pulled out their blades. Dean, Sam, and Bobby got their guns loaded with rock salt, along with some flasks of holy water. Anya looked at them and laughed.

“You foolish people, do you ever learn? Those petty weapons of yours didn't work on me last time, so why should this one be any different? The end result is the same. You're all going to die.” Before Sam and Dean had even blinked she was in front of them. Knocking the guns out of their hands she grabbed them by the shirt collars and threw them to opposite sides of the room, knocking them unconscious for a few seconds. She did the same to Bobby and then turned her attention to Castiel.

At first they were evenly matched as he met her blow for blow, but then she picked up her speed and punched him hard in the face. He went down but before he hit the floor she grabbed him, yanking him up by the front of his shirt. She punched him a few more times, round house kicked him in the face, punched him in the gut and kneed him in the groin before grabbing him one final time and hurling him into the nurse's station.

Grace tackled her from behind, punching her in the face a few times and stabbing her in the chest with her demon blade before Anya threw the blonde off of her. She swung around with her arm and hit Grace so hard in the face that she skidded across the floor, feeling dizzy. The blade clattered to the floor, being knocked out of her hand. Grace wiped the blood off of her mouth and staggered to her knees. Anya walked over to her and kicked her in the side, ignoring Grace's yelp of pain. She pinned the sword's edge to Grace's throat and laughed as she saw fear cloud the blonde's blue eyes. She kicked her again before she felt something stab her in the back.

Whirling around and hissing, she grabbed Ruby and yanked her forward so hard that her arms was dislocated. Ruby howled in agony and with her other arm punched Anya so hard that her jaw bone cracked. Anya ignored the pain and picked Ruby up, throwing her. Ruby went through some wooden chairs in the waiting room, hitting the back wall in a motionless heap.

Sam's eyes opened and he scrambled to his feet. Feeling rage at Anya for what she had done to Rachel, he gathered up all the psychic power he had and hit Anya with it, full force. She staggered on her feet, dropping the sword and hissing in mock pain, looking at him and shaking her head. “Sorry Sammy, but that's just not good enough.” She pushed back with her own power and pinned him to the wall with no visible effort. But then she paused, feeling a familiar presence behind her. Grinning with excitement she turned around and laughed evilly, seeing her sister Rachel standing there, her sword in hand. Anya could feel that Rachel's full powers had returned. It didn't scare her.

Anya walked over and picked up Lucifer's sword. She faced Rachel and for a moment neither one said a word. Anya broke the silence. “I'm merciful dear sister, so I'll make you this offer once again. I hate to have to kill a creature such as you and I know you're not stupid. It's inevitable. I will be your new God. If you profess your love and bow down before me I will spare your life. So, Rachel, Guardian of Eden, what do you say?”

Rachel's dark eyes narrowed and her lips thinned in a grimace. Gathering all her courage and strength she yelled, “Go to Hell!” and ran at Anya with all her might, channeling every ounce of power into her sword. Anya shrieked in anger and did the same, running at Rachel, the light hitting their swords and glittering off of the silver metal.

Rachel felt her heart pound and her breath quicken as she ran at the demon full speed, the runes on her sword whispering softly, giving her courage and protection, their sheer power making them glow and filling her with light. Her bare feet pounded against the hospital floor and in her mind flashed memories of her life. The time she and Grace had spent in Israel or keeping watch on the Winchesters, falling in love with and marrying Castiel, Ruby trusting her, hearing all of Bobby's stories about his wife, eating cheeseburgers and drinking vodka, all the funny, tender moments she'd had that past year, the happiest time she'd ever known. She would save them, her friends, her family, she had to. A savage cry left her mouth as she collided with Anya, plunging the sword deep into her sister's gut, a second later gasping as Lucifer's sword went through her own body and pierced her flesh.

Her vision blurred and she gasped, tasting blood. Her lungs burned and her heart stuttered painfully in her chest. The room began to spin and her body propelled her forward into Anya's. They both fell to the side and hit the floor. It became difficult to breath. Rachel could see blood trickling out of Anya's mouth, her amber eyes dull, seemingly lifeless. With every beat of her heart Rachel felt her life slowly fading, blood pooling onto the marble floor as she lay there immobile. She couldn't see Anya breathing, couldn't hear her heartbeat. She couldn't even sense the demon in the mortal vessel anymore. Rachel felt cold, wishing she had warm blanket to wrap around her, or better yet Castiel's warm strong arms. At least it's finally over. My family should be safe. She thought, gasping for air, coughing and tasting blood as she choked, unable to breath. Her vision grew darker and her body felt light, airy, weightless. Then everything faded to black, and Rachel heard and thought no more.

Sam shakily got to his feet, having being dropped once Anya's attention had turned to Rachel. He ran over to where they lay, checking Rachel's vitals and feeling like all of the air was sucked out of the room when he couldn't get a pulse. He pulled her impaled body off of Anya's sword and got her a good three feet away from the demon, screaming for help.

But no one came.

Feeling trapped in a nightmare, he tried CPR. It didn't work. By this time he was frantic, hot tears rolling down his face, sobs threatening to overwhelm him. Grace, seemingly out of nowhere appeared at his side, and once she saw Rachel's cold, ashen, lifeless body she burst into tears, howling in outrage and crippling sadness. Her keening wail woke up Dean and Bobby, and upon stumbling over to Rachel's corpse Bobby broke down and cried, muttering every curse under the sun that he could think of before biting back sobs. Ruby came over and slipped an arm around Bobby, crying too, burying her face in his shoulder to mute her sobs. Dean found Castiel and while slipping an arm around him, took him to Rachel.

The instant Castiel saw everyone he knew what had happened. Once he got to the spot where his wife lay and saw her limp, lifeless body he hit his knees, not even trying to hold back the horrible, agonized, gut wrenching sobs that bubbled up out of his throat and poured out of his mouth. Holding her in his arms all he could do was sob her name over and over, cradling her head to his chest. He felt as if his heart had been ripped out and all that was left was a gaping hole, a hole that hurt so badly that the only thing he wanted to do was die right along with her. That was the only thing that would take the pain away. Time would never heal this hurt, eternity wouldn't suffice. He'd lost the love of his life, his best friend, the only person he had left to believe in. she had been everything, his life, his whole world, and now she was gone. His Rachel, was gone.

At that moment he would have endured all of the tortures of Hell for all of eternity if only to have her with him a moment longer, to tell her he loved her, to kiss her, to hear her laugh. There wasn't a way to bring her back and nothing he could ever do would change that. In that instant his heart literally broke. His spirit faded to nothing. All joy, happiness, and hope were gone. Rachel was dead, he was a broken man, and Castiel knew that he would never be whole again.

Time marched on, but no one was keeping track. The minutes that ticked by seemed like hours as they all sat there, holding each other and crying. Each felt almost unbearable sadness and loss at Rachel being gone, experiencing it in completely different ways and with different emotions and yet what they were all feeling was the same. Sadness, anger, pain.

“Oh, you poor pathetic people. I'm sorry I had to kill her, but she was in the way. With Rachel alive, I could never have achieved what I wanted.” Anya murmured, pulling the Guardian's sword out of her gut and standing up, healing her wound. Everyone gasped in astonishment and turned around, except for Castiel, who was too lost in his grief to notice anything else.

“How the fucking Hell are you still alive? Rachel's sword should have killed you!” Ruby screamed. Anya laughed, her cackle spine chilling, turning Ruby's blood to ice in her veins.

“Well you see, I absorbed all of Raphael's power when I murdered him. Souls are slipping out of Purgatory as I break the seals and everyday I grow stronger. I've absorbed so much pure energy that I am no longer a demon but once again a glorious angel of light. That's why Rachel couldn't kill me, foolish woman that she was. Once Purgatory is opened however, I'll assume a higher position and obtain Godhood. Isn't it glorious?” she let out another insidious laugh. Everyone trembled, shuddering at the thought of Anya becoming a goddess and destroying all of them.

A bright light suddenly filled the room and once it faded, Michael and Gabriel stood in their midst.

“I see the old man has sent you to do his dirty work.” Anya snickered, smiling sinisterly. Michael glared at her, saying nothing. “Anya, still the queen bitch of all. You just had to go and kill the Guardian. Well now it's time for payback. No one murders our sister and gets away with it. The wrath of Heaven will rain down on you for this, as well as for the rest of your heinous crimes. You'll wish you'd let Rachel kill you by the time this is over.” Gabriel snapped, smiling in amusement as Anya's confident expression seemingly faltered.

“Gabriel, never as driven as Lucifer, not as strong as Michael. Is there supposed to be a brain in that thick skull of yours? Like you can kill me. Don't make me laugh. I'll enjoy grinding your bones into dust though.” She murmured menacingly, clenching her teeth in annoyance as he laughed.

“Quit laughing, I didn't bring you here for your own amusement. Help them.” Michael barked, jerking his head in Sam and Dean's direction. Gabriel was by their side in an instant, healing their wounds before seeing the damage done to Rachel. Anya made a move in his direction, but Michael blocked her path, standing resolutely in front of her and pulling out his own sword. He smiled darkly as fear shimmered in Anya's amber eyes. “What's the matter Anya, feeling a little scared? Surely not you. It won't look good to your future subjects if their goddess is weak. Too bad you won't be around to make it happen. I honestly thought you were smarter than this. Did you learn nothing from Lucifer's mistakes? The first rule of being an immortal is that you don't play God and you certainly don't try to usurp his authority.”

Anya shuddered and took a step back. Her face turned pale as Michael followed. She turned on her heel, attempting to run. She didn't even have time to scream before the sword flashed in the air, its silver edge slicing into her neck and decapitating her. Her body and severed head fell to the floor in a sickening thud. For a moment they glowed and then turned to ashes, the demon finally being truly vanquished.

Gabriel surveyed Rachel's body with a mixture of sadness and regret. In the scheme of things she had done much, keeping watch on the Winchesters, helping to stop the Apocalypse, giving her life in the hopes of saving the world and the Heavens from a cruel fate, but alas, her time was over. He felt sad that such a being was gone. All the angels, Gabriel and even Michael, respected her. She hadn't taken on an easy assignment, guarding the same family for millennia after keeping watch over the Gates of Eden. She had done what few would have, saving Grace. She had risked much, defying the orders of Heaven. She had broken the rules, allowing herself to experience human emotion after all the angels were taught to never do so because it would impede their judgment of what was right and wrong. None of these things mattered however. As it was, Rachel was dead. He couldn't bring her back, neither could Michael, no matter how badly they wanted to. He looked over at Castiel, whose face was shadowed in the deepest woe, no doubt feeling the greatest sorrow he'd ever known. Gabriel wished there was something he could to or say to ease his brother's pain, heartache, or heal his broken heart, but there was nothing. Even the Balm of Gilead couldn't heal or restore a broken spirit.

Tears ran down Gabriel's face as he thought of Rachel, her kind spirit, her willingness to fight for what she believed in, her courage in defying all of Heaven for love and friendship. Even among the angels she had been unusual, special, uniquely one of a kind, able to differentiate herself from everyone else as easily as breathing. His heart went out to her friends, the family she'd chosen, knowing they would miss her and that even the ravages of time would never completely take the pain away. He wasn't certain if Castiel would ever heal, even with eternity. Gabriel knew that even though his and Rachel's paths had hardly ever crossed that he would miss her, if only for the fact that a brilliant light from Heaven was gone.

He felt a large, calloused hand on his shoulder and looked up, seeing his brother Michael. “Let us go now Gabriel. We can do nothing for her.” He said, his voice thickening slightly. Apparently Rachel's loss was getting through Michael's steel exterior too.

“Wait.” Castiel's rough, tear choked voice stopped the archangels and they paused, looking sympathetically at him.

He looked up at them, his face a mask of bone deep weariness and the worst sadness imaginable. In his grey eyes they could see raw anguish and pain. He took a shaky breath and spoke, his words thick with sorrow but also hollow.

“Thank you.” The words seemed ripped from him.

Gabriel nodded, wiping his eyes and sniffing. Michael walked over to Castiel and put a hand on his shoulder. Meeting his tearful grey gaze he murmured softly “We loved her too, Little Brother. I am sorry.” A single tear slid down Michael's stony face as his eyes softened. Castiel nodded slightly and then sank back into his grief. The archangels gave a slight nod to everyone else and left.

That day the arrangements were made for Rachel's burial. It was decided that a simple casket would do, along with a small, personal graveside service. Ellen and Jo flew in from California and Cassie and Heather came. There was no minister present. Everyone just brought flowers, and once Rachel's body was put in the casket and lowered into the ground, they covered the fresh grave with white roses, because Rachel had loved those. Afterward they all went to Bobby's house, quietly whispering amongst themselves and trying to offer each other comfort. As soon as they had walked through the front door Castiel had gone up to the room he and Rachel had shared. He knew everyone was worried about him, but he didn't care. Grabbing a bottle of vodka he sat on the bed, staring at the wedding photo Bobby had taken in Las Vegas. Taking a big swig of alcohol he laid on the bed, softly sobbing as tears rolled down his cheeks, nearly crying out in anguish as he caught a whiff of Rachel's scent from her pillow. He didn't care if the world was safe, as far as he was concerned it could all burn down the next day. The only thing he felt was the pain, the gut wrenching agony of the absence of Rachel's presence. She was gone and with her all the light in his world. Castiel didn't even attempt to try to pick up the shattered pieces of his heart and put them back together. Taking another swig of vodka, he knew in his heart that he would never heal and never be whole again.