Teen Titans Fan Fiction ❯ Currently Untitled ❯ Tears in the Night ( Chapter 2 )

Currently Untitled

Chapter 2

 

Raven sat up quickly. Her heart pounded in her chest, in time with the painful pounding in her forehead. She had been running, from something or maybe to something. Claws, and a scream. She shook her head, trying to dispel the last vestiges of her nightmare. A knock on her door provided a welcome distraction.

Raven threw a robe on over her nightgown before she opened her door, revealing Beastboy, carrying a tray of food. “Um, hi.” She said, almost sheepishly. “What's all this?”

“You got in late last night, so we let you sleep in. This is breakfast.”

“Sleep in? What time is it?”

“Lunch time, almost. It's like eleven thirty.”

Raven's eyebrows shot up. “You let me sleep that long?”

“Yeah, you needed it.”

She started to turn back into her room, “You shouldn't have...” She trailed off as the smell of hot food hit her. “What did you bring me?”

“Waffles with strawberries, tea, and maple syrup. Not the fake stuff either, real maple syrup. I've been hiding it in my sock drawer.”

“Scary thought. Come on in.” Raven stepped aside and let Beastboy walk in and gently set the tray down on her bed. Raven settled cross legged on one side of the tray, and Beastboy attempted to mimic her, but failed.

“Don't know how you do that.” He muttered after settling for simply dangling his legs off the edge.

“Long years of practice.” Raven said, pulling the plat of waffles toward her. She hadn't eaten since before she went to the clinic two days earlier. With her healing trance, and the emotional upset, she hadn't noticed her hunger.

After Raven had finished half of the waffles that Beastboy had brought her, he spoke. “So, uh, where did you go anyway? All you said was that some family stuff came up, then you just kinda... disappeared.”

The reminder of her last couple of days sent a pang of sharp pain through her. She dropped her fork on her plate, no longer hungry, and picked up her mug of tea. “Just what I said, family stuff. It's not really that important.”

“If you're sure.”

“I am.”

Beastboy stretched with a sigh. “Robin asked me to take care of some stuff today, but do you wanna go out tomorrow?”

“Sure, what time?”

“Dunno. Evening I guess.”

“I won't make any plans.”

“Cool.” Beastboy stood and walked to her door. “I'll see you later.” Beastboy started to step out when he froze and leaned back in, “And I love you.”

"You don't have to say that every time you leave the room, you know."

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because, I know that you hide something from us." Raven's breath caught in her throat when he said this. "You're not just the confident loner that you always showed us, there's somebody there hiding inside you that wants to know she's loved, wants somebody to show it to her. And the only person who's ever showed her what she wanted hurt her.”

"That doesn't mean..."

"Yeah, it does. Every time I leave for whatever reason, I'm going to say it. And you can know that if I say it, I mean it."

 

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Beastboy studied Raven from across the small booth they shared. She stared down at her food, picking at it with her fork, though she didn't seem to have eaten any of it. “Is something bothering you?”

Raven looked up sharply at the sound of his voice. “What?”

“You haven't said much tonight, and you're not really eating. Is something wrong?”

“Nope, just not sleeping well, I guess.”

“Are you not feeling well? I know Cyborg wouldn't mind...”

“No!” Raven froze, stunned by her own outburst. The last thing she needed was for Cyborg to examine her, to find out the truth. “I mean, it's just a bit of insomnia. I'll be fine.”

“If you're sure.”

“Very.”

They ate in silence for several minutes. “Look, sometimes insomnia can mean something serious, you know? What if...”

“Why don't we go to a movie after this? I'll let you pick.”

For just a moment, Beastboy's concern warred with his short attention span. His attention span won out. “There's this little theater, downtown, that's playing this really old movie that looked really good. It was something like Jesus Christ Versus the Aliens.”

“What?”

“Yeah, no kidding. Sounds like it should be good.”

“Super.” Raven turned her attention back to her plate, and her thoughts inward as Beastboy began giving her a more detailed description of the movie.

Pain seemed to fill her. Objectively, she knew that it was psychological. She had been through something that was, to say the least, traumatic. Therefore, she was manifesting this pain, as though something was eating her from the inside out. She knew this, yet she couldn't escape the feeling that she had become... a black hole.

Raven jumped when the thought hit her. It didn't feel right, as though it had come from somewhere else, and given to her. She shook her head dispelling the notion; though she had lied about being alright, she hadn't lied about not sleeping well, every few hours waking, stifling a scream in response to whatever nightmare now plagued her. That was bound to mess with anyone's nerves.

 

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Beastboy and Raven now stood in the hallway near her door. They were back late, after the showing of the horrifyingly weird movie that Beastboy had chosen. The faced each other and kissed, gently, chastely, before Beastboy pulled back with a smile. “I'll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah.” Raven smiled back at him, though she no longer felt like smiling. “See you in the morning.” Raven hit the button that would open her door and started to step in.

“Hey, Raven?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Raven's smile faltered. The simple phrase had brought a complex assortment of emotions to her since the first time she heard it. Now, though, they were dominated by self-loathing, knowing that she had lied, and continued to lie, to him every time she was with him, every time she told him that nothing was wrong. She found herself having to force herself to reply in a tone that she hoped was convincing. “I- I love you too.”

As soon as he was gone, the door closed and locked securely, Raven collapsed on her bed. Suppressed tears that seemed to always lurk beneath the surface burst forth in great sobs. Soon she quieted, her tears spent for the time being.

As on every night since her return to the hospital, Raven found her attention drifting to her knives. She studied the glittering light falling from the blades, most dull display knives, though a few were razor sharp.

 

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Raven was awakened. This time, instead of terror waking her, it was a sound. She lay still until she heard it again, a knock at her door. Raven pulled herself out of bed, every movement a small pain.

She felt as though she had been beaten badly. She was stiff, her joints ached, her head throbbed. She didn't want to deal with whoever was on the other side of the door.

She pulled on a black silk robe and belted it around her waist before she opened the door. Beastboy stood on the other side, looking suspiciously chipper this early in the morning. When he caught sight of her, though, his smile fell. “What happened to you? You look like death warmed over.”

“Gee thanks.” Raven leaned back into the room far enough to see her reflection in her vanity mirror. Her hair was a tangled mess, dark puffy rings were under her eyes, and her skin was a more pallid shade than usual. “I do look bad, don't I?”

“Maybe you should talk to Cyborg.”

“No. It's just a bug or something. I'll sleep it off.”

“Okay, I guess.” He still seemed unsure.

“Was there something you wanted?”

“Well, I was just getting you for breakfast.”

Raven looked back at her clock. It was already nine thirty, she had slept in several hours longer than she liked. “I think I slept through my alarm.”

“Maybe that was a good thing. I'll tell Robin that you're not fit for training.”

“Sure, thanks. I'm gonna go back to bed for a while.”

“Alright, sweet dreams.”