Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Excel Saga Fan Fiction ❯ TenchiEX ❯ Chapter 2

"Great. The roof is leaking," Tenchi said as he gazed up at the hole in the ceiling that Ryoko's blast had made. "I'd better fix it. I wish you two would learn how to discuss things quietly."

"It was truly an accident, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said and Tenchi sighed.

"It's always an accident."

"Excel is willing to help you with your reconstruction job. As a matter of fact, Excel once worked with a construction company," Excel said as she and Sasami entered the room. Excel will not mention that she was the cause of the fire that destroyed the building she was working on, she thought as she watched Tenchi.

"Wow! That's very nice of you!" Mihoshi said as she clapped her hands. "I'd volunteer but I don't know anything about building stuff. Aren't we lucky to have a multi-skilled person here?"

"If you'll come with me, I'll show you where the building supplies are," Tenchi sighed and Ayeka watched them leave suspiciously.

"Did you see how eagerly she volunteered?" Ayeka whispered and Ryoko nodded her head.

"She obviously came here to steal Tenchi," Ryoko said and Ayeka's eyes grew wide.

"You can't be serious!"

"Why else would she come out of nowhere? Do you seriously think that she came here in search for a light? Come on, she's got to be a wanted criminal or worse...a psychotic sex offender. She could be just using this chance as an attempt to get to Tenchi."

"No! You don't think...?!"

"That stupid girl act didn't fool me for a second. Just you watch Ayeka. She's going to get Tenchi in a corner of the room and then she's going to..."

"To what?!" Ayeka demanded and Ryoko grinned viciously.

"Do you really want to know?" Ryoko asked and Ayeka's eyes grew wide in fear.

"Yes, yes! I really want to know!"

She whispered into Ayeka's ear and Ayeka screamed. She ran out of the room and Ryoko laughed hysterically.

"Man that was even better than the time I suggested Tenchi was stolen by video game pirates! She's so gullible," Ryoko said as she floated up to the ceiling.

"Um...Ryoko, that wasn't very nice," Mihoshi said and Ryoko glanced down at her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. I've got to go see the rest of this," she said and disappeared through the ceiling.

"I've got the ladder and here are the building supplies," Tenchi said as he propped the ladder against the side of the house. "I really appreciate you helping me, considering this wasn't your fault."

"Excel is always ready to help!" Excel cried and Tenchi handed her a bucket of nails.

"Here, you take this and go on up. I'll be right behind you."

"Up...there?"

"Yes. Is something wrong?"

"No. Excel was just realizing that the ladder does not look all that stable but she will gather up her courage and climb up despite her fear."

She climbed up the ladder just as Ryoko appeared on the roof and sat beside the chimney. Excel cried out in shock and dropped some of the nails from the bucket she was carrying. Tenchi yelled in pain, brushed the nails out of his hair and then glared at Ryoko.

"What's the big idea, Ryoko? You could have hurt her," Tenchi said.

"I'm sorry, Tenchi. I just thought I'd forewarn the stranger that Ayeka is after her," Ryoko said in her pleading voice.

"Ayeka is after....but why?"

"What has Excel done?" Excel asked and Ryoko shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know why, but Ayeka thinks you're a criminal. I'd be prepared if I were you," Ryoko said.

"Prepared for what?"

"Ryoko, you didn't have anything to do with this, did you?" Tenchi asked and Ryoko gazed innocently at Tenchi.

"Tenchi, why would you even think I'd do such a thing?" she asked and Tenchi sighed.

"It was just a thought."

"Okay! Excel is ready to get started!" Excel cried as she set the bucket of nails down beside her.

"Hold it right there!" Ayeka cried and Ryoko stifled a laugh. "You have three seconds to get away from Lord Tenchi."

"Ayeka, what's gotten into you?" Tenchi asked and Ayeka looked at him.

"Don't trust her Lord Tenchi. She's a wanted criminal just looking for a chance to do something immoral to you. I will not let her get away with it."

"Excel has not done anything immoral here. Excel does not want to become one of the ignorant masses that runs around doing immoral things. Excel is the one who wants to put things right," Excel said and Ayeka glared at her.

"Just drop the act will you? It's not fooling anyone," she said and Excel looked confused.

"What act are you talking about?"

"All right since you won't admit to your misdeeds, you must accept your punishment."

"Sister stop!" Sasami cried and Ayeka looked at her.

"Sasami?" she asked and Sasami's eyes welled up with tears.

"Just stop! This isn't how you treat a complete stranger. She's not a criminal. She may be a little eccentric and simple but she's not a criminal. Where did you get such a silly idea, Ayeka?"

"Well......RYOKO! How dare you make a fool of me like this?!"

"Ryoko," Tenchi said warningly and Ryoko's eyes misted over with tears.

"Tenchi, I never said she was a criminal, honestly," she said as she sniffed a few times.

"Cut it out. I'm not going to believe it."

"But..."

"Excel wonders if they are always like this?" she asked and Sasami sighed.

"Unfortunately, yes. Right, Ryo-ohki?" she asked and the cabbit meowed in agreement.

Hmm, perhaps after we conquer the pathetic F city, we should come here and conquer this place. It seems to be filled with ignorant masses. At least this place is. But some of the ignorant masses here have lots and lots of firepower. Excel wonders how she would bring the masses down if she was ordered to conquer this place. Oh! Excel guesses she should tell people she's thinking! Okay, Excel is thinking now. Now hopefully the readers won't be confused but if they still are confused, it isn't Excel's fault! Excel is not responsible for the confusion brought on by prolonged exposure to daytime television. Wait....that wasn't what Excel was going to say! Think! Think! But it is so hard to think! Excel's little gray brain cells are starting to hurt with all this thinking. Maybe if Excel thinks a little song, her little gray brain cells will not hurt any more. Oh, two cups carrots, one cup celery, add a Menchi...wait! That is not a song! That is a recipe. Great. Now Excel is getting hungry.

"Ryoko! Where are you going?" Tenchi demanded as Excel continued to stare off into space.

"I'm going to watch television. Why? Is there something you'd like for me to do?" Ryoko asked as she appeared behind Tenchi and placed her arms around his neck.

"Cut it out!"

"Ryoko! Let go of Lord Tenchi this instant!" Ayeka cried and Tenchi glared at both of them.

"I've got a job for the two of you!" Tenchi cried and both Ayeka and Ryoko looked at him. "The two of you will fix this hole before my father gets home otherwise you won't eat."

"But..." Ryoko started to say when Tenchi glared at her.

"No! I've had enough of your fighting. I've had enough of having to fix your mistakes. You two are going to do it this time. I'm really sorry about all this Miss Excel. Why don't you come with me to get some tea and you can tell me about your world?"

"Excel will do her absolute best to describe her world!" Excel cried and let go of the ladder in excitement. She slipped on a ladder rung and fell to the ground below. Sasami and Ryo-ohki ran over to where Excel lay, looking slightly dazed.

"Are you all right?" Sasami asked as Excel blinked her eyes.

"Look at all the cute little Menchis. Excel thinks she will make sausages out of them," she muttered.

"Here, let me help you. I'm awfully sorry about all this," Tenchi said and took her hand. "They aren't usually like this."

Excel wonders if my Lord Ilpalazzo would ever treat me this way? Excel sure hopes he would. Excel can imagine it now, her Lord Ilpalazzo would pick her up and carry her to his room. He would then place her on the bed and then gaze fondly at her. Then he would...Damn! Excel cannot say any more! Excel is bound by the rating of this fic! Life is not fair to Excel!

"Here," Tenchi said as he led her to the couch. "Why don't you just sit right there and I'll get you some tea?"

"I'll get it, Tenchi! I can make some up really fast! Come on, Ryo-ohki," Sasami said and ran into the kitchen with Ryo-ohki following her.

"Look at what your arguing has done, Ayeka," Ryoko said and Ayeka stared at her.

"MY arguing?! This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't twisted my words around you monster!" Ayeka declared and Ryoko glared at her.

"It's your own fault for being so gullible, Princess. It's not my fault that you'd go into a frantic frenzy if I said Tenchi was going to be molested by Irish pygmy elephant rats living in Tokyo."

"Do you really think they live in Tokyo? What if they come here? Tenchi isn't safe!"

"See? You're doing it again. You didn't even hear a word I said. It's not my fault you have selective hearing, Ayeka."

"I do not have selective hearing! I heard every word you said about Irish pygmy elephant rats....Ryoko! That wasn't fair!"

"Let's face it, Ayeka. You're way too easy to fool."

"We'll just see about that Ryoko. I challenge you to a gullibility test."

"Fine but I'm not at all gullible."

"Hey, you two haven't even started on the roof. What happens if it rains again?" Mihoshi asked as she climbed up the ladder.

"Here Mihoshi. Take my spot. I've got to do something really important!" Ayeka said and handed her hammer to Mihoshi.

"Okay. Just come back when you're done."

"Mihoshi. I've got to do something too," Ryoko said and gave her hammer to Mihoshi.

"But Ryoko...." Mihoshi protested and Ryoko disappeared into the wall. "I don't know how to fix a roof."