Chapter Three: No need for confrontations!

Outside: after the waffle incident

After being punished by Ryoko, Tenchi Masaki stumbled out the front door and into the yard. Even as he walked out into the morning sun, the sickening taste of frozen waffle was still fresh in his mind and mouth.

Making breakfast had been a nice gesture, unfortunately Ryoko could easily set fire to cold cereal.

His father's car was still in the driveway, so he concluded that he must still be at home, however, that was totally unimportant.

Before him now was a sight Tenchi had never ever expected to see; Ayeka, the First Princess of Jurai, doing manual labor.

The fact that she was wearing a straw hat was inconsequential, as the mere concept of her working was enough to boggle the mind. Tenchi quietly approached her, not wanting to interrupt her picking up of the carrots. He found it very funny, since Ryo-Ohki was scurrying around, darting under Ayeka's legs in attempts to eat the ones she couldn't get to.

Ryoko's cabbit/intergalactic spaceship had eaten a substantial number before she noticed the young prince.

"Meow! Meowmeow eow meow!" said Ryo-Ohki, nuzzling up against Tenchi's leg.

"Yay! Tenchi's here, and he'll feed me!" she thought.

He found it very odd that her thoughts were audible as well. Apparently, Tenchi could read the mind of anything female, something he wasn't sure he wanted. Ryo-Ohki ran around his left leg a few more times before she realized he had nothing to eat.

"I'm hungry! Maybe Sasami has some food. Ayeka's so stingy about stuff like that..."

The little brown animal scurried off in search of something tasty, leaving Tenchi alone with Princess Ayeka.

"Greetings Lord Tenchi," she said. "Could you please be of assistance?"

He intensely hated being called by a title, but did not wish to be rude. In fact, Tenchi was trying his best not to laugh at Ayeka, who was wearing an enormous straw hat. Although the Princess's flowing purple kimono showed off her attractive form, her giant farmer's hat made her look quite the fool.

"Um…sure thing Ayeka-chan," he said nervously.

The young man walked over to her and offered to pick up the rest of the carrots. He noticed the reason for her hat when he saw the large bags under her eyes. She was paying the price for getting so drunk the night before, so wearing the hat was preferable to being embarrassed.

"He seems fine," thought Ayeka. "Washu-chan said he looked like he'd been in an oven. Maybe she did one of her experiments on him. No matter, Tenchi has Juraian blood. That should give him lots of…stamina."

After picking that up, Tenchi turned beet red. The only thing he could do was to retrieve the last of the orange carrots lying on the ground.

If Ayeka was anything she was persistent, just as much as Ryoko, if not more. Her dark purple hair, alluring crimson eyes, and sweet, melodious tone had enticed many a young man. She had received thousands of proposals for marriage, and had respectfully turned down each one.

Princess Ayeka was waiting for someone else to ask for her hand.

Demure, prim, and proper, Ayeka was the perfect model of a Juraian Crown Princess. Her attraction to Tenchi stemmed from her admiration of his quiet inner strength, and his eligibility as a bachelor prince of Jurai. Ayeka was once engaged to her half brother, Yosho, Tenchi's grandfather. This ironically made her Tenchi's great aunt. Family matters and possible inbreeding aside, she nevertheless planned to marry Tenchi and live with him in royal splendor on the planet Jurai.

The was only one true obstacle to her accomplishing that.

"Did you hear what the demonic temptress did to me yesterday?" she asked Tenchi.

"Something about money, right?" he answered, knowing full well what the truth was.

"Crazy demon-bitch fleeced me out of my money. She should not have won! I'm so much better than she is!"

"Ryoko cheated me out of fifty dollars," Ayeka said. "She never plays fair!"

Tenchi just stared at her. To him it was obvious she was lying, that Ayeka just wanted to start a fight with Ryoko. Ayeka often found the mere idea of the Prince of Jurai with the space pirate repugnant, and never hesitated to try and drive a wedge between them. She may have been right about Ryoko being crazy, but she wasn't a demon.

Not any more at least. Those days had long past.

"How exactly did she win? What were you betting on?" Tenchi inquired, already knowing the answer.

Ayeka lost the color in her face and could do nothing but gape at him.

"Shit! I can't tell him about the drinking contest. What would he think of me?!"Ayeka thought frantically.

"Uhhh…um, we were playing a game," she lied, "and Ryoko was cheating I just know it! She always does that!"

Tenchi just picked up the last carrot from the ground and put it in the now dirt covered wicker basket.

Ayeka simply wanted the best for Tenchi, and would never let him get hurt by anyone. She loved him that much, making it the only real reason she disliked Ryoko so vehemently. Ever since Kagato had taken control of the lovely pirate, using her powers to destroy much of Jurai, there had been much animosity between them.

It only multiplied when Tenchi came into their lives.

Seven hundred years of hatred between princess and pirate came to the boiling point nearly every day.

It was about to happen again as the being that was Ryoko walked out the front door and into the driveway.

*****

"Hi Tenchi! I'm back!" she said cheerfully.

With a plate of steaming hot pancakes in her right hand, she floated gracefully over to Tenchi. Ryoko wrapped her left arm around him gave him a big hug.

"Look, Tenchi-san, look! I made pancakes! I didn't burn them this time either!" she bubbled.

Her previous attempts to cook had been disastrous. Sasami was a much better chef than anyone in the household, but every once in a while one of the other girls would have a go at making dinner or something, which usually required the use of a fire extinguisher afterwards.

"Finally, I can work that fucking stove without starting a fire. All I had to do was follow the directions on the side of the box. Who'da thunk it was so easy...heh ...Tenchi had better like these, 'cause there aren't any more of 'em." Ryoko thought. "Uh-oh, wait a minute, what's Ayeka still doing here?"

"Morning Miss Ayeka, want a pancake?" asked the space pirate.

Ryoko had to stifle the urge to laugh at the Princess for the largeness of the hat on her head.

"Ugh, disgusting," Ayeka thought. "I'll bet she's trying to poison me!"

"No thank you," the Princess curtly replied, crossing her arms in disgust.

Soon after, Ayeka became enraged as Tenchi sampled some the pirate's home cooking. He put a piece in his mouth, chewed it, and swallowed without any problems. To the Princess's further dismay, a broad smile crept slowly across his lips, and she was immediately filled with jealousy.

"These are pretty good Ryoko-chan," he said. "Do you mind if I have some more? I still feel like I haven't eaten in days."

When she happily nodded, Tenchi Masaki proceeded to devour the remaining crispy, golden brown pancakes. As he was occupied, Ryoko and Ayeka were left alone together, a catastrophe waiting to happen with the object of their affections standing only a few feet away.

"Do you plan on giving me my money back?" asked the Princess.

"And why would I do that Miss Ayeka?" Ryoko smugly replied.

"Don't play dumb! You cheated!"

"I did not! How dare you!"

"Yes you did! Stop lying!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

This went back and forth several more times. As far as Tenchi could tell, the two of them were being equally sincere in their exclamations, and this was sure to degenerate into childish name-calling. It got to the point where the tension between the two bordered on homicidal, as it did during all previous such encounters. Feeling emboldened, Ryoko walked straight up to the Princess and flicked the brim of her hat upwards.

The act sent the straw headgear flying over the back of Ayeka's head, exposing her face to the intense rays of the sun. Stumbling backwards, the Juraian princess attempted to shield her weary eyes from the blazing light, playing right into Ryoko's hands.

"Awww, does somebody have a hangover?" said the pirate in a half cutesy, half demeaning tone. "Shame that you can't hold down your alcohol as well as I."

His mouth full, Tenchi could do nothing but stand there and watch, flabbergasted.

"What did you do, huh?!" Ayeka demanded to know. "Was it grape juice? Iced tea? Ginger ale?!"

Ryoko turned bright red, and took a step back.

"How the fuck did she know about the ginger ale?!" she thought.

Tenchi picked that up, and knew the Princess would capitalize on the moment of her hesitation.

"Aha! I knew it, you demon-whore!" she yelled. "I've always known there was never a shred of decency in you!"

Fuming mad, all Ryoko could do was blink. She was absolutely paralyzed with rage, but somehow found the right words to shoot back.

"So what if I did cheat?! It's not my fault you're so goddamn gullible!" Ryoko yelled. "I was drinking hard liquor a thousand years before you were born!"

"Then why the hell did you have to cheat!" Ayeka countered.

"Because it's fun and easy. What are you, simple? I'll bet you stole that money I bilked you out of!"

"I hate you! She's a dirty whore, Tenchi. Never listen to her!"

"Stupid bitch! I swear Ayeka, I'll kill you if you embarrass me in front of him!"

Things were quickly getting out of hand. So far, every word the two of them had flung at each other had sincerity behind it. In the next few seconds, possibly more, they two of them would use their powers and then they'd be having another one of their epic battles.

And of course, their battles usually ended up destroying the surrounding landscape.

Swallowing the last pancake, Tenchi decided to speak up.

"Uhhh…girls, I think you should calm down," he said quickly. "Think…think of the trees."

Instantly, the both of them grew wide-eyed, as if they couldn't believe he had interrupted their argument.

"Yikes, he's right," thought Ryoko. "I don't want to make him angry, or give in to Psycho Princess over there."

"I should stop," thought Ayeka. "We shouldn't fight when Lord Tenchi is present. I'll get that bitch back later."

For a moment, there was an awkward silence between them, but only for a moment. Very quickly, Ryoko took advantage of the situation so she could grope Tenchi some more. Tousling her hair in an arousing way, she phased behind the young man and began to rub his shoulders.

"Well, I'm at least glad you enjoyed the pancakes, my love," she said.

"Sure…uh…sure thing," Tenchi replied.

Noticing that Princess Ayeka was once again turning green with envy, Ryoko decided to take this to the next level. Wrapping both arms around him and rubbing his chest, she placed her head on his shoulder and whispered into his ear.

"You know, I put a whole bunch of aphrodisiacs in the pancake batter," she said, just loud enough for Ayeka to hear. "I was hoping we could make love later tonight, but it seems Her Lordshipfulness wants to spoil our fun…"

Tenchi could hear no other thought from her to contradict that statement.

Right then and there, his nose began to gush blood.

He yelled loudly, and dropped the empty plate. It broke when it hit the pavement, shattering into a hundred pieces, drops of red blood splattering amongst the fragments.

"Oh crap!" Tenchi exclaimed. "I really have to go! Excuse me…"

Removing the space pirate from his body, he took off running in the other direction, trying desperately to stop the bleeding.

As he bolted towards the Masaki family shrine, he could hear the last of Ryoko's thoughts.

"Damn, I scared him off again. I have to learn to stop that, and he needs to learn how to take a joke. What the...?! Stupid Ayeka lookin' at me now like a ugly b…"

Even though she was only jesting, Ryoko would have had sex with him in a heartbeat.

So would Ayeka.

Poor Tenchi, he misses out on everything…

End Chapter Three

Proceed to Chapter Four