Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ What Women Want ❯ No need for maple syrup! ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter Two: No need for maple syrup!

The next morning

After tossing and turning all night, Tenchi finally awoke to the glaring rays of the sun coming in through his bedroom. The light burned into the back of his head, no matter how hard he tried to cover his eyes. Every single part of his body ached, like a constant dull toothache spread all over. He really, really didn't want to move at all, but the alarm clock next to his bed was producing the most irritating noise.

"So much for sleeping in…" Tenchi grumbled as he hit the off button on the clock. "Not today, I guess…"

Slowly but surely, Tenchi pulled himself out of bed. He searched his dresser and found a white t-shirt. Throwing it on, he stumbled out into the hallway.

*****

Just before he could get into the bathroom, Washu appeared atop the stairs. She was dressed in a skintight, green jumpsuit that looked like an engineer's uniform, only tighter. As the self proclaimed greatest-scientific-genius-of-the-universe, she always tried to get Tenchi alone so she could attempt her strange, erotic experiments on him, all "in the name of science". Often, she got interesting results, as long as Ayeka or Ryoko didn't barge in and disrupt the whole process.

Right now, she was doing her laundry. In her arms, she held a basket filled with clothes and towels that she had retrieved from the dryer.

Washu spotted the young prince in the hallway and strolled over to where he was, doing her best to look pretty for him.

After getting a good look at Tenchi, she realized the he didn't look so hot. His face appeared grubby and his body quite dirty. Tenchi looked like he had been rolling around in the mud all night and all morning.

He certainly felt like it, too.

"Oh, hello little Washu," said Tenchi, holding onto the wall for support.

The young prince was painfully groggy, and his head felt twice its normal size. If he could at least take a shower, then perhaps he might feel well enough to make it through the day. Managing a weak smile, Tenchi headed for the bathroom.

Washu halted him before he could take a single step.

"Do you want a towel Tenchi-chan?" she asked.

The redhead grabbed a pink towel out of the basket and held it out for him.

"Come on, take it," said a voice.

It sounded exactly like the scientist, but it couldn't have been. Washu hadn't moved her mouth at all. She was simply standing there, holding her arm out and grinning at him.

"Ugh, he smells like burnt toast. He hasn't showered in days! It's not like Tenchi to let himself get this bad. Oh, I hope he takes this thing soon before I pass out."

The young man's eyes grew wide in shock.

Was he supposed to hear that?

What was it in the first place?

Why should he of, all people, start hearing voices?

In sort of a daze, Tenchi stepped away from the scientist. He noticed that while she was smiling, Washu didn't appear to be breathing. Her face turned a bright shade of red, then slowly into a faint blue. She quickly handed him the towel, still giving him the odd look.

"He stinks! Finally, now I can go! I'll figure out why he smells later."

"I'll see you later my little guinea pig," Washu gushed, pinching his cheek.

With a girlish laugh, she started to walk away, laundry basket in hand. The scientist was trying hard not to be disgusted, but couldn't help it, and wiped the hand that touched his face on her pants.

Tenchi stood there dumbfounded for a moment, trying desperately to understand what had happened. Washu had not moved her lips even a millimeter, yet he heard every single utterance. It was the single strangest experience in his life.

That's saying a lot for a guy like Tenchi.

He had been to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, to strange worlds uncharted.

He had fought with Kagato, evil overlord and scourge of the universe, defeating him in a blaze of glory.

Tenchi had seen things that mortal men could never fathom, strange, horrible, wonderful, beautiful things. All of his experiences and perceptions couldn't change reality, but only color it. Young Tenchi was about to see the spectrum clearer than he ever had in the past.

When the realization hit, he nearly had a heart attack.

Slamming the door, he locked himself in the bathroom, determined not to come out for quite a while.

A few minutes later…

After taking a shower, Tenchi put on a bathrobe and sat on the edge of the tub. Quite clean now, he tried to sort out the mixture of sensations that had bombarded him.

The first sensation was pain. His headache had yet to leave, even after a hot shower. Tenchi stood and walked over to the medicine cabinet, grabbed some aspirin, and swallowed it. Often times, aspirin was the only thing that kept him going. It was certainly a life-saver in a situation like this.

The second thing Tenchi felt was confusion. Blasts of evil energy had knocked him senseless many times before, but even they didn't come close to this. Tenchi put his head in his hands and stared at the floor, trying to make sense of it all.

After a little while, the medicine kicked in, and clarity came with it.

He understood completely now. What had eluded him before now made the most perfect sense.

Tenchi could hear what women were thinking.

Such an awesome power could not be taken lightly, and he wasn't quite sure he wanted it. He had often heard that ignorance could be blissful. However, Tenchi soon remembered that he had practically asked for this, and figurative storm clouds gathered over his head, threatening to rain on his parade. The young Juraian had been perfectly happy not knowing anything about the women in his house.

One woman was good enough for him, but five was an unnecessary tax on the mind and body.

He preferred to learn about them individually, without any mind games or tricks, and had been through many, many adventures that had bought each one of them a special place in his heart.

And so, Tenchi was positive that he didn't want to know what any of them were really thinking.

He almost slapped himself for asking for this burden in the field.

Before the young prince could do that, a familiar voice rang loud in his ears.

"Hi Tenchi!" yelled Ryoko.

It scared the living daylights out of him

She wasn't even in the room completely. Her head and shoulders were sticking out of the floor where she had phased in. The cyan haired beauty tilted her head and stared at him unassumingly.

"I could almost see up his robe from here. Maybe I'll just take a quick peek."

Tenchi turned five different shades of red, his eyes showing his embarrassment. He tried to contemplate the number of times Ryoko might have spied on him in the shower and found the number to be incalculable.

"Bah! Ryoko! Get out!" Tenchi finally yelled, wrapping his bathrobe tighter around his body.

The former space pirate quietly grinned back at him. As beautiful and sensual as ever, Ryoko was clad in a gray kimono with a bright red and yellow sash tied around her waist. As always, the young Juraian had to fight the urge to leer at her seductive form.

"Calm down Tenchi, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before," she said in her most sultry voice.

"But you can't just come in here!" he replied. "I'm in the bathroom!"

"Whatever. I'll just watch him change later tonight. Damn him for being so attractive."

"Whatever, my Tenchi. I just came to tell you that breakfast will be ready in a few minutes," Ryoko said nonchalantly.

The dark haired prince gazed into her shimmering, honey colored eyes. He never really meant to put Ryoko off as much as he did. Tenchi enjoyed her company a thousand times more than he let on, but their time together was almost always interrupted by one of the other girls, Ayeka by far the most often.

Still, he loved the way she carried herself. Ryoko's brazen attitude, her devil-may-care approach towards life, was the cause of all sorts of exciting adventures. Despite her energy, the thing that scared Tenchi a little was the way she flirted, which could best be described as obsessive.

Ryoko was madly in love with him, and never hesitated to show it.

"What a loose robe. I knew it, I can see it. Christ it's hu…"

"Ryoko, go away! I'll be down in a minute!" Tenchi exclaimed, interrupting her thought process.

With a rather sad look on her face, Ryoko disappeared back underneath the floor. Tenchi hadn't meant to hurt her, but his expressions often did just that. Needing to apologize, he put on a fresh pair of clothes and practically ran out the door.

Even with his newfound powers, he'd never understand Ryoko.

Downstairs: in the kitchen

Feeling bold, Tenchi neared the entrance to the kitchen. He expected to hear shouts, arguments, and glass breaking into millions of tiny pieces.

Essentially, he expected the general sounds of people fighting.

However, there was nothing. Nobody was yelling or screaming or fighting over the last few scraps of food. Everything was perfectly serene.

Though Ryoko was in the kitchen, the wafting smells of breakfast cooking were absent. She seemed to be the only one in there, the other girls gone for some reason. He was glad no one was around, it would give the two of them a chance to be alone for a few minutes at least.

Tenchi crept in, being careful not to make even the slightest noise.

Ryoko was standing over the toaster. She put in two, circular yellow objects, pushed the lever, and sat back against the counter to wait.

As he got closer, Tenchi could hear what she was thinking.

"Na na na na na na na na waffles, waffles, waffles!"the song went in her head.

He didn't know whether to find that funny or disturbing. The prince didn't know Ryoko had seen any of the campy, go-go music filled Batman episodes, especially since they hadn't aired on television in close to twenty years.

What freaked Tenchi out even more was that it was still playing in her mind.

"Na na na na na na na na na waffles, Batman, TENCHI!"

Spinning round, Ryoko instantly focused all her energies on Tenchi, who had frozen in his tracks. The second he was in the kitchen, the beautiful pirate could sense he was there. Ryoko had always been uniquely tuned into Tenchi, her connection so strong that she could always tell where he'd been or when he entered a room, no matter how silent he'd been. She tousled her hair a bit, then walked over and wrapped her arms around him.

"Morning, Tenchi-chan. Feeling better?" Ryoko whispered into his ear.

"Uhh, I'm fine Ryoko...just fine," he stammered.

"That's wonderful Tenchi, absolutely wonderful!" she replied.

As far as he knew, her cheeriness was sincere. Ryoko was well known to be a bad morning person, the kind who couldn't function without a pot of coffee. Yet here she was, just as lively as ever, groping Tenchi at the unheard of nine-thirty in the morning.

"Um, where's everyone else?" asked the Juraian prince.

Ryoko simply hugged him even harder.

"Who could possibly care? This is great! Nobody to bother us,"she thought. "I'm so glad I cheated…"

"Sasami and Mihoshi are still sleeping," Ryoko sighed. "Washu is somewhere around here, and Her Highness found it in her royal heart to pick all the carrots in the driveway."

"Carrots? In the driveway?" he asked.

"Yeah. You're pretty clumsy when it comes to those," she answered

The pirate rested her head on his shoulder and sighed quietly.

"But you're still the best...hee hee... my Tenchi..."

After fondling him a little more, Ryoko patted his head and floated back over to the toaster. Sure enough, the waffles had yet to be finished, so she leaned against the counter. Tenchi joined her, and seated himself on the marble top.

Soon, they were staring into each other's eyes.

For the longest time they didn't even realize it.

Both of them leaned in closer, their body temperatures rising.

Tenchi was lost in her eyes, and wanted to tell her they were as brilliant as the stars.

He might well have if the toaster hadn't gone off, jettisoning the waffles into the air.

"Stupid ass waffles, couldn't wait a few more fuckin' seconds," Ryoko thought. "Damn it, they're cold too!"

They obviously weren't finished, so she turned them around and put them back in for another few minutes. The toaster was perhaps the only appliance Ryoko could work with any kind of success. Even then she tended to burn whatever was placed inside.

"How come you're making breakfast today?" Tenchi asked.

"Umm…I'm hungry," she replied simply. "I found these in the freezer."

Without having to probe her thoughts Tenchi knew she was lying. He narrowed his eyes and she immediately confessed.

"You were late coming home…so we decided to have a drinking contest during the marathon," Ryoko said. "Each one of us, minus Sasami and Washu, had a type of product, let's say…fast food. Whenever there was a commercial for that, the person who had that type of product had to take a shot of sake."

That was typical. Ryoko was the living, breathing Queen of All Drinking Contests, and had surely gotten the best of Ayeka.

"Heh, I could've drank that sorry little priss under the table…"

"I won too," Ryoko said, gloating. "I won fifty American dollars off Ayeka and Mihoshi."

Tenchi rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Little Sasami fell asleep two hours into the marathon, but I was up all night. You came in sometime around twelve, right?" she inquired.

Tenchi just nodded, then began to count on his fingers down from ten. When he got to one, the waffles were finally done.

Ryoko got out a plate, then a fork, then some napkins. Placing the golden brown waffles on the plate, she prepared to devour them in a single bite.

Then she noticed Tenchi staring at them, drooling like a maniac.

"Oh, did you want one?" she said playfully.

Tenchi simply continued to drool, the spittle running down his cheek.

"If you want one, you have to come and get it," Ryoko taunted.

When he reached for the plate, she pulled it away. The more he struggled to get them the farther away Ryoko took them. She phased through the kitchen counter and stood on the other side, holding up her prize. The aroma of the waffles, combined with an empty stomach, was too much for Tenchi to bear.

He wanted those waffles and he was going to get them.

"Please let me have one," Tenchi moaned, all the while slyly positioning himself to vault over the counter.

"He's cute when he's hungry," thought the cyan haired girl.

"All you need to do is come and get me and you'll have your precious waffle," Ryoko said in her most charming tone.

"Come on, let me have one now, I'm starving!"

"No! Come and get your breakfast from your Queen."

He was about to give up and make his own food when he heard Ryoko's voice echo in his mind once more.

"Why won't he ever play along? I don't ask for much. Please jump at me Tenchi!"

After hearing that, a swirl of emotions twisted around inside of him like a vortex. Tenchi had always known in his heart how much he loved Ryoko, but never took the time reveal his feelings. In the back of his mind, he had planned what he would say and how it would be said. Unfortunately, Tenchi kept putting it off and putting it off, and soon he didn't want to deal with her advances, because it meant he would have to bear his soul to her.

That was something that just the day before would have been impossible for him to do.

Now the air felt charged with possibilities, and Tenchi took a chance and tried to tempt fate.

With surprising agility, Tenchi jumped clear over the counter towards Ryoko. For him, it seemed to happen in slow motion, the world going by at a snail's pace. As he flew through the air, Tenchi could see the startled look on her face, just the reaction he had been hoping for.

The prince reached for the plate of waffles in her left hand and came within inches of grabbing it, but he honestly didn't have a chance.

Ryoko disappeared in an instant, leaving only air between Tenchi and the hardwood floor.

He collided with that floor less that two seconds later, and rather hard at that.

Soon, he was flat on his back gazing up at the ceiling, a light fixture shining bright fluorescent rays down at him. The defeat was total when he glimpsed the triumphant figure of Ryoko standing over him.

The woman bent down beside him, opened his mouth, and placed a lukewarm waffle inside.

"You should have been faster," she whispered, "but I forgive you."

Tenchi frowned at her as he chewed his waffle in submission.

"He's even cuter when he's at my mercy," Ryoko thought, pouring some maple syrup on her breakfast.

There was nothing left for poor Tenchi to do but grin and bear it.

Even worse for him, the center of that waffle was still frozen solid.

End Chapter Two

Proceed to Chapter Three!