Tokyo Babylon Fan Fiction / X/1999 Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Souls ❯ III ( Chapter 3 )

Doctors and nurses came and went, administering tests and telling Subaru nothing he wanted to know. They thought they were helpful. They thought these were things he'd want to know. Those things were the furthest from his mind though. They thought he'd want to know he was healing at a remarkable rate. They thought he'd want to know he could be discharged within the week, probably. They thought he'd want to know they could find no reason for his amnesia. They thought he'd want to know they recommended psychological counseling. They thought he'd want to know they wouldn't be able to take the IV out until tomorrow at the earliest, but he could eat and drink any time he wanted, provided he could keep it down.

He cared about none of these things.

"Already you're getting so many gifts, Sumeragi-san! Look, these flowers are from a girl. Karen Kasumi."

Subaru shrugged. He didn't recognize the name. Someone he'd helped recently, maybe? A friend he'd made?

"These balloons came in with a gift. It looks like a book. Would you like to open it now?"

He nodded silently, glancing at the names on the card attached. Arisugawa Sorata. Arashi Kishuu. Kamui Shirou. Who were these people? A quick glance through the book revealed they knew a little of his tastes at least.

"Look at this teddy bear!"

This was from a Nekoi Yuzuriha.

"No more gifts right now, please. I'd like some time to think."

The nurse gave a disapproving sigh, but agreed readily. "What about visitors?"

"Family only, please."

She looked a little surprised. "Because of your condition, that restriction is already in place. It will be lifted tomorrow, if you continue to heal at such a remarkable rate. Did you wish otherwise?"

"No, that sounds fine." To end the conversation he rolled over onto his side. It was a rather rude way to dismiss her, but he was tired of her talking and talking all the time. Among the most useless things he'd been told all day was the names of all the people sending gifts. The only name he'd recognized on a gift was Imonoyama Nokoru, from the CLAMP Campus, but Subaru had no idea why he'd rated that person's personal attention. Surely the chairman had better things to concern himself with than an old student.

Nine years.

The face he'd seen in the mirror had spoken clearly of those nine years. It spoke of nine years worth of pain. He was thin and pale, and the faint lines in his twenty-five year old face told him he hadn't had occasion to smile much in all that time.

And the one person he wanted to see hadn't shown up to visit, or even sent a stupid gift.

That was the source of his grumpiness. Grandmother had been his only guest. He was happy that he wasn't being swarmed by people he couldn't remember--that is, aside from the people who worked here--but one face was conspicuous in its absence.

One face he sorely missed.

Subaru remembered the face in the mirror and had to wonder about it. What would she look like now? They'd always looked so much the same, but that was as children. Surely she didn't look this worried? Surely she didn't look this aged?

He had to see for himself what the face of his twin was like after so much time.

Well, at this age she was probably married and had at least one child, right? She was probably too busy with other obligations. She'd always wanted to be a housewife. She always wanted to be a caregiver, and he couldn't think of any other reason she wouldn't be here now. Only children of her own would keep Hokuto from visiting her twin brother in the hospital.

Who knows? Maybe she had visited while he was unconscious. That was probably it. He'd just missed her. Maybe she hadn't left a card or gift because she knew she'd be back. It was nothing to worry over. Surely there was a logical explanation.

But a voice whispered darkly in the back of his mind that this was not the case.

That voice was soundly and heartily ignored. It wasn't playing fair. It wasn't following the rules. It sounded like the same voice that whispered that there were things he didn't want to know. It tried to warn him or prepare him...but sitting right here, he could not imagine anything more horrible than that attack and rejection from Seishirou.

He was going to kill me.

So, why am I still alive?

As if the thoughts he entertained had taken form, he suddenly knew he was no longer alone in the room. He held himself stiff, prepared for anything--anything except what happened next.

The bed dipped behind him, and he felt a kind hand press against his shoulder. No words were said, and Subaru was lost in the same confusion he'd found himself in before. He could feel Seishirou behind him. There was no mistaking him for anyone else.

Where had this kindness come from then? It wasn't the false kindness offered through the year Subaru remembered of knowing Seishirou. Well, he could not judge its validity now, but it felt somehow different.

But why?

Subaru's head started hurting again. Nothing made sense. How could they possibly have gone from there to here?

"Subaru-kun." Seishirou's voice was patient and somewhat tired. Strained around the edges in a way Subaru could not remember hearing before. "How are you doing?"

The answer was a long time in coming.