Trigun Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ D/Chick and County One-Shots ❯ The Hospital Visit From Hell ( Chapter 3 )

The Hospital Visit from Hell

-A D/Chick and County One-Shot Rant-

D/Chick: (Gawking at her computer screen) Oh my God, this is sooo nasty…(Rewind, Play)…I can't believe I'm even watching this…(Rewind, Play)…(Drools) It's just so wrong…(:D) duh huh huh…

County: (Comes up behind D/Chick's chair, resting his chin on the high back) Whatcha watch- (!!! O_O) AHHHHHHHHH, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING!? (Stumbles back and smacks his butt on the ground)

D/Chick: (Covers her giggling mouth with a hand) Oh ho ho, it's that one episode from Trigun!! Y'know, the one where you see Vash's BUTT!?

County: (Starts twitching on the ground at her words) AHHHHHGGGGG!!!

D/Chick: (Turns back to her computer screen, giggling) It's just so wrong!!! I LOVE IT!! (Rewind, Play, Drool :D)

County: (Stands up and ruffles hair back into place) Geez, I knew residing in your house was a bad idea…

D/Chick: (Manages to tear her eyes away from the screen) Yeah, since me and the horny hormone-driven fan girls kinda crashed the ceiling of the One-Shot house, we have to stay at my house for awhile. County doesn't like it.

County: (Sitting on the ground with a disgruntled face while cats crawl all over him) You got that right…(Sneezes)

Kuronekosama: (Pops his head up in the camera) Mrow?

County: Huh?

D/Chick: (Turns computer off and pops DVD out of the hard drive, placing it carefully back in its case) Y'know, maybe we should go check up on the boys, County?

County: (Shakes cats off of him and stands up, brushing clouds of cat fur everywhere as he smoothes his shirt) Yeah, I guess…since I care about them sooo much (Rolls eyes)

D/Chick: (Wiggles index finger in his face) Ohh, snap out of your grouchy mood, mister…(Gives a happy thumb while the air glitters around her) Now, let's go see the boys!!

County: (Slouches and covers his face with his hand) Oh boy, this oughta be interesting…

*

*

*

D/Chick: (Bursts into the hospital room, gasping for air) FOLKEN!! WOLFWOOD!!

Wolfwood: Did she run all the way here?

Folken: (Shrugs) Beats me.

County: (Comes up behind D/Chick, gasping) Why…couldn't…we…just…take…a cab!?

D/Chick: (Grins) Exercise, my boy!!

County: (Moans hopelessly and falls to the ground with a THUMP)

D/Chick: (Rushes up between Folken and Wolfwood's beds, taking one of their hands into her own) Ohh, how are my bishis fairing!?

Wolfwood: (Tugs at bandage around his head, blue hair sticking up in clumps because of it) Hmm, well, not perfect…

Folken: (Pokes at his own arm cast) Got that right…

Wolfwood: (Whips head around and looks suspiciously at D/Chick) Just how come YOU didn't get hurt?

D/Chick: (Backs up nervously) Uhh, umm, uhhh…whhhy, YOU boys protected me, right!? (Closes eyes and scratched back of head, laughing nervously)

Folken: (-_-) Crazy broad…

D/Chick: (Stops laughing as she notices a bed to the far side of the room by the window, the sunlight pouring angelically on a man with his head bandaged in the same fashion as Wolfwood's) What the…(Raises an eyebrow)

Legato: (Chuckles evilly, despite his pure-looking atmosphere) Hello there, foolish children, how do you do?

D/Chick: (Jumps on Folken's bed, stepping on him in the process)

Folken: Oof!!

D/Chick: (Rushes to Legato's bed and points accusingly) Cut the evil crap, you're not as bad-assed as you think, creepy man!!!

Wolfwood: (Sweatdrops) Uhh, D/Chick…

D/Chick: (Whips around angrily, fists balled) WHAT!?

Wolfwood: (Shakes his head at her hopelessly) Nevermind…

D/Chick: …

Folken: (Leans over and whispers to D/Chick) Legato's on our side now…besides, you look kind of ridiculous, getting all emotional…

D/Chick: (Relaxes) Oh, right…

Legato: You see-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

D/Chick: (Turns to the figure in the doorway, eyes getting more and more big and shiny as she sees more of who it is)

Vash: (Meek expression) Hey, can I come in? (Steps over a limp County) Oops, sorry there buddy!!

County: (Wakes up) Wha? (Looks up, seeing under Vash's long trench coat) … (O_O) … (Stands up slowly, with a frightened expression)

Vash: Hey, what's wrong, buddy?

County: (Points at Vash's backside and screams) IT'S THE BUTT!! IT'S THE BUTT OF DOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Starts running toward the open window)

D/Chick: (Grabs the back of County's shirt as he hangs out the frame) Stay put, boy!!

Vash: (Comes up to D/Chick and cocks his head innocently) I do not believe I've met you before. What's your name?

D/Chick: (Turns her head around slowly, eyes enormous and overly-shiny) … (Drools, totally unashamed)

Vash: Uhhh…

County: (Still hanging out the window with a disgruntled look on his face) She tends to do this a lot, just wait a minute…

Vash: Uh, ok.

D/Chick: (Eyes start to clear) Oh, h-hey there, Mr. Vash!! Or do you prefer Mr. Sixty-Billion-Double-Dollar-Man? You look marvelous today!! (Drops County to shake hands with Vash)

County: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Screams fade as he lands with a thud)

Vash: Umm, you can just call me Vash…(Tries to look over D/Chick's shoulder to see out the window) is your friend ok?

D/Chick: (Turns to the window and rubs chin with her hand) Hmmm…well, whatever!!

Vash: (^^;)

Legato: (Narrows eyes at Vash) It's you, Vash the Stampede…

D/Chick: (Steps inbetween the two) Whoa, whoa, we're all friends now, right?

County: (Slams the door open with a crutch, a band aid on his forehead and a cast on his leg) Oww.

D/Chick: (Cocks an eyebrow) Gee, that was quick.

County: (Looking thoroughly annoyed at her observation) Yeah, no shi-

Knives: (Slams door open, smashing County into the wall) OH MY GOD, WHERE IS MY HONEY-BEAR!?!?!?

D/Chick: What the…

County: (Lying on the ground, twitching) Ooh…

Knives: (Rushes over to Legato's bedside, kneeling and grasping his hands) Oh my goodness, are you ok?!

Legato: Umm, yeah. Considering that I was shot in the head. (<<<Being obvious lol)

Knives: (Starts petting Legato's hands) Ohh, I was so worried!! I can't bear the thought of losing you!!

D/Chick: Like I was saying, what the-

Knives: (Suddenly whips out a gun, pointing it at Legato's head) You weakling!! You let my fool of a brother KILL YOU?!

Legato: But I'm not dea-

Knives: (Drops the gun and hugs Legato) Ohh, I'm so glad you didn't die!!

Legato: (Squirming) Leggo!! Leggo of me!!

D/Chick: Vash, just WHAT the hell is this?

Vash: Oh, didn't anyone ever tell you? (Points index finger up) My brother has multiple personalities!! Isn't it so hilarious?

D/Chick: WHA!? HILARIOUS!?!? (Jumps up and starts pulling on Vash's hair) HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID, YOU LITTLE-

Knives: (Shoves D/Chick away and catches Vash in a giant bear hug) Ohh, brother!! How I missed thee!!

Wolfwood: Bizarre.

Folken: Very.

D/Chick: (Snaps back up and jumps on Knives back, clawing him) HEY, I WASN'T DONE YET!!

Knives: (Stops cooing as his face turns angry) You sentimental fool!!

Vash: ME BEING SENTIMENTAL!? CHECK YOURSELF OUT, BUDDY!!

Wolfwood: (Leans over and whispers to Folken) More like check yourself in.

Folken: (Whispers back) No kidding.

Knives: (Grabs a tongue depressor and starts chasing Vash around the room with it) YOU WILL DIE YOU WILL DIE!!

D/Chick: (Still on Knive's back) DON'T KILL VASH!! HE'S TOO HOTT!! (Starts beating his head with her fists)

Legato: (Covers his face with a hand) Oh jeez…

Vash: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (Runs out the room)

Knives: (Goes after him) BA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!!!

D/Chick: (Voice echoes down the hall) Bye, boys!!! See you later!!! If ever!!

County: (Still lying on the floor, smooshed) Oohhhh…

Wolfwood: My, that was fun!!

Folken: It's a whole helluva lot better than watching cheesy soap operas all day (Points to the tiny television set in the wall)

El Fin ^^; -

D/Chick: (Standing in a forest next to a statue of The Ranger Bear) Well folks, that was awesome!! (Leans on it) Yeah, real cool, yeah- (Jumps as the statue falls over, and rolls down the hill) Oops…

Random Forest Troopie: (SQUICK!) Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!

D/Chick: (Leans over and looks down) Oops, sorry `bout that, mister!! (Tosses a band aid down and walk away, whistling innocently) Sooo, since County is kinda injured, I didn't have anyone to go hiking with me…(Sighs) Whatta shame…

Wolfwood: (Panting, using his crutches to climb up the hill)

Folken: (Following after him in the same fashion)

D/Chick: Huh? Wow, I didn't know you guys broke your legs, too!!

Folken: Shouldn't you be saying something like, "Oh, gee, thanks for hiking your asses up here so that I wouldn't be lonely in the forest DESPITE YOUR INJURIES!?"

Wolfwood: By the way…how come Legato is alive again?

D/Chick: (Puts hands on her hips) And just how come he's our FRIEND now?

Folken: (Shrugs) Beats me…

D/Chick: Heeeyyy…wait a minute!! You're not supposed to be hear!! Only me and County do the afternote!! (Shoves Wolfwood and Folken down the hill)

Folken and Wolfwood: Aiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!

D/Chick: (-_-) Yeah, whatever…(Tosses another two band aids down) So, anyways!! (Brightens up instantly) Why don't you check out these other great titles by me!! (Peace sign and sparklies)

One-Shots (Rants)

TRIGUN SPIFF (Number one to a series-Trigun-PG-13)

"Plus, you gotta love all the incredibly gorgeous and sexy men!!"

"(Facefaults)"

The girl is drooling, the guy is disgusted…

NOOO!!! NOT MY BISHONEN!! (Number Two in a series-Trigun-PG-13)

"HE WAS REAL TO ME!!! (Points to her heart) I'm…hurting…(sniffle) right here, County…don't you understand one bit?! You heartless monster!!"

A session of comedic mourning

One-Shots (Story Types)

CLICHÉ (Formerly titled "Irvine's a Dumbass"-FF8-PG-13)

"All is well at bodacious Balamb Garden…everything, except for one horribly heartbroken girl…Selphie Tilmitt. The whimsical woes of love have left poor Sefie daringly drained of her chipper cheer."

"Stop with the damn alliterations already!!"

An overused FF8 storyline and cheesy alliterations make a good humor

REAL FanFiction

YOUNG LUV <3 <3 (Unfinished, but getting there-Escaflowne-PG-13)

"(Grins) It's good, isn't it?"

"(Grins back) Oh yes, makes me tingle all over"

Escaflownian love and life scandals in a high school setting

PAINFUL REALITY (Not posted, but soon-Escaflowne-R)

"I want to see you again, Van…"

"…I had to tell her the news…"

A tragic continuation

TRAILER PARK PANTS (Only one chapter written so far-Pilot Candidate-PG)

"What the hell is he doing?"

"(Laughing insanely toward the ceiling, clutching Rioroute's briefs)"

Gareas happens to find a pair of Rioroute's briefs…this isn't a good thing, either…^^;

Possible Fanfiction (Meaning MAYBE, but don't get your hopes up)

TRIGUN CALLS SHOTGUN (Theme Song written, but that's it-Trigun-PG-13)

"Let's drive naked and scare off all the locals!!

"Wha!?"

Wolfwood takes the crew for a road trip around Gaea ^.~

Stupid Inside Joke (Long story behind this one ^^;)

DAWSON'S CRACK (Oh what a great comedy this would be lol)

"Pacey, your pants are ridin' low."

The slapstick quest for a belt

D/Chick: Well folks, that's all for now…(Smacks a mosquito on her arm) Well, I suppose I should get out of here…see ya!! (Grabs Zell plushy and disappears with a POOF)

*Meanwhile, at the Hospital*

County: (Grumbling to himself, walking painfully slow on a treadmill) That b**** left me here so that I can be subjected to the embarrassment of rehabilitation with old geezers…

Old Man: Hey there sonny, better speed up!! (Presses a button on County's treadmill, making it go faster)

County: ACK!! (Starts running) I'll…get…you…back…(Grits teeth) WENCH!!

El Fin ^^; -