Trigun Fan Fiction / Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ D/Chick and County One-Shots ❯ Damnation in the Form of Computer Games ( Chapter 6 )

Damnation in the Form of Computer Games

-A D/Chick and County One-Shot Rant-

D/Chick: (Stitching Zell Plushy head back onto it's body patiently) Ho boy, this is tough…

County: (Slams the door open dramatically and waltzes in) The Boy named County is back… (Observes D/Chick's messy stiches) Uhh, maybe you should get someone else to do that…

D/Chick: (Whisks a hand at him with a -_- face) My superior Home Economic skills will assist me in this project. I do not need your utterly useless advice, County Boy.

County: Right, whatever…Huzzah?

*Mail slides through the mail slot in the door*

County: …What's this? (Picks up package and observes) Hey, D/Chick, it says it's for you…

D/Chick: (Ignores County and holds Zell plushy up triumphantly) Ha ha, who said I couldn't do thi-(Zell plushy head rolls off) ARG!! DAMN YOU!!

County: I SAID you have a PACKAGE…

D/Chick: (Walks over to where County is while attacking Zell plushy with a stapler) I'll show you, you little-(Notices package and drops Zell plushy) Oh? For me?

County: -_- Yes, it's from Rioroute…

D/Chick: Oh wow!! How nice of him!! (Tears box open) Huh? (Pulls out computer game CD while a piece of paper flutters to the floor)

County: (Picks up paper and reads it) "Dear D/Chick, I'm sorry that I threw a fit and put a hold in your fence at the Barbeque. Take this as my apology. I'm sure you'll like it. Sincerely, Rioroute" …Hmm, bizarre…

D/Chick: (Reads cover of CD case) "Pilot Candidate Mix and Match Game"

County: …

D/Chick: …

County: …

D/Chick: (Grins devilishly at CD case) Oh, I got some sinfully bad ideas runnin' through my head…

County: (Moans hopelessly and covers face with a hand) Oh no, this is bad…

D/Chick: (Throws fist into the air) TO MY HOUSE!! C'mon, County!! (Grabs his wrist) Off we go!!!!!

*

*

*

D/Chick: (Pops CD into the hard drive and clicks on the setup menu) Awright, this oughta be AWESOME!!

County: (Whining) Why do I get the crappy chair?

D/Chick: (Clicking around) Because you suck, duh.

County: (Is suddenly mauled by cats) -_-

D/Chick: (Clicks "done" on the setup menu) This is gonna be sooo COOL!!

County: Oh no it isn't…

*The Pilot Candidate Mix and Match Game pops up, the main screen made of badly cropped pilot candidate pictures and horrible graphics. Tacky music blares from the speakers*

Game: (Robot voice) Game created by Gareas Elid.

D/Chick: Wha!? No way!! County, can you believe it? (Clicks on BEGIN button)

County: Heeeyyy…wait a minute…(Takes note from Rioroute out of his pocket and turns to the back) It says, "Gareas made this game for me" That little cheat!! He gave us his leftovers!!

D/Chick: I don't care this looks like fun!!

Game: (Pops up with all the Pilot Candidate characters, Teela having large protruding fangs) Pick a pair from the above.

D/Chick: Uhh, ok…(Double clicks on Zero and Kizuna)

Game: (Fades into a scene from Pilot Candidate) The pair you picked will be paired into a pair

Zero: (Crappy 8-bit version, jaw moving crudely) I love you Kizuna. Marry me.

Kizuna: (Crappy 8-bit version, jaw moving crudely) I love you Zero. Marry me.

Zero and Kizuna: (Move to each other jerkily) !LOVE! (A big red heart covers their faces as they "kiss")

D/Chick: (Squeals) This is SO cute!!

County: No, pathetic.

Game: You have picked Gareas and Rioroute. The pair will be paired into a pair.

D/Chick: Whazzah, I didn't pick them!!

Gareas: (8-bit and horrible animation) Rioroute you are so hott and unfathomably sexy. Kiss me now.

Rioroute: (ditto ^^;) Yes. Anything for you master.

Gareas: Score.

Rioroute: (Moves jerkily to Gareas) !LOVE! ("Kisses" Gareas, faces covered by a big red heart)

Game: (Fades to a huge 8-bit picture of Gareas laughing, horns growing out of his head)

D/Chick: (0_0) Ummm…County?

County: Huh? Wha?

D/Chick: (-_-) Aren't you the least bit frightened?

Gareas: HA. HA. HA. Fool. You are foolish not to love me. I will crash your computer eternally. (Screen turns black)

D/Chick: (Starts beating fists on the screen) WHAAA?!!? NO NO NO!! STOP IT!!

County: (Cracking up, beating his fist on his knee) BA HA HA!! THIS IS HILARIOUS!!

Game: (Deep monotonous voice…scary one at that) YOUR COMPUTER WILL BE ETERNALLY DAMNED STARTING IN THREE. TWO. ONE. YOU COMPUTER IS ETERNALLY DAMNED. HA. HA. HA. (Computer explodes violently)

D/Chick: (Shields herself from the flying glass) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

County: (Does the same) Aiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!!!

…

D/Chick: (Sprawled across the floor, looking around carefully) … (Tiny voice) Oh crap.

County: (Picks a piece of glass out of his nose most excruciatingly) No shi-

Wolfwood: (Voice comes booming out of nowhere) HOW COME NONE OF THE OTHER HOUSEHOLD INHABITANTS HAVE NOTICED THE LOUD BOOM AND FLYING GLASS FROM THE ETERNALLY DAMNED COMPUTER?

Folken: (The rustle of clothes from shrugged shoulders is heard) BEATS ME.

D/Chick: (Covers her head in fright of the voices) AHH SCARY!!

El Fin -

County: (Sitting on the computer room table) Ok, now that whole shenanigan was just weird.

D/Chick: No kidding…(Grins mischievously) But not to fear! I have a grand solution to replace the eternally damned computer!!

County: (Catches his face in his hand) Oh no…

D/Chick: (Pulls Thatz into the room) Everyone, meet Thatz!! He's a thief-gone-good from the manga Dragon Knights!!

Thatz: (Meek) Erm…hi there…(Looks around nervously) where am I?

County: …

D/Chick: (Grinning like crazy) So? So!?

County: (Quirks an eyebrow) …What the hell is "Dragon Knights?"

D/Chick: -_- a manga. Geez, it IS out there…

County: (Shrugs) Whatever…

D/Chick: Anywho!! Thatz here went out of his way to steal me a computer that miraculously looks exactly like the exploded one, AND even has all the same programs, files, etc. of the old hard drive!! Down to the last byte!! Amazing, isn't it?!?

Thatz: Umm…actually, it doesn't…

D/Chick: O_O (Gulp)

County: (Starts laughing) Ba ha ha!! Explain THAT one to the `Rents, moron!! Especially after mommy-dearest fixed your precious little Zell plushy!! BAHAHAAA!!

D/Chick: (Starts wailing) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Thatz: (Patting D/Chick on the back) I did get you a nice computer, though…

County: (Starts walking away to the front door, laughing the entire way) See ya later, MORON!!

Mistin: (Peeks over the stairwell at County) SHUT UP!! I'm trying to read my book, you jerk!! Leave my baby sister alone!! (Throws impossibly thick book down at County)

County: (THUNK!!) Oww!! Bi-!!

D/Chick: (Throws expensive piece of pottery at County, then starts breaking down in tears at what she did)

Thatz: (Still patting her on the back) I'll steal you some pottery, too!! Not to worry!!

County: … (<<< unconscious ^^;)

D/Chick: (Whimpers and poofs away to her room, clutching her Zell plushy gingerly) Join us…(sob) …next time…(hiccup)…for another interesting One-Shot…that is all… (*sob sob*)

EL Fin ^^; -