Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ An Alternate Ending ❯ Nine Silent Nights ( Chapter 4 )

An Alternate Ending

Part Four: Nine Silent Nights

By Bekka Mouri-Hibiki

(Trigun doesn't belong to me and I'm not making any money from this so please don't sue. The re-write/butchering continues! This is full of spoilers so don't read if you haven't seen all of Trigun.)

How many days could she just sit there, staring at him as he slept? ~How long are you going to sleep, Vash? ~ She thought to herself as she sat next to the bed. When she and Milly had regained consciousness on the hill, they found themselves surrounded by the villagers but they were still passed out. They looked around and found Wolfwood not too far from them, it was obvious he had done what he could to get to them but his body gave out on him.

(Flashback)

Milly went to Wolfwood and checked him over frantically. She found he was still alive and gathered him up in her arms as she knelt, holding him as she started to cry into his hair. Meryl looked for Vash, finding him several yarz away, bleeding and weeping. The man he had been fighting was close by and dead… shot in the head… smiling.

Vash fell to his knees, dropping his gun to the ground as he went down. He placed his hands over his face and started to shake like a cold child. He leaned forward and threw up twice, Meryl cringing at the sight. She forced her feet to move, wanting to gather him into her arms and make everything okay though she wasn't sure how she would do it.

She could hear his sobbing and it tore at her heart because the sound was the saddest thing she had ever heard. She reached him, kneeling next to him before placing a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged the hand off, " NO! Don't touch me! " He choked out before throwing up for a third time.

" Vash… " Meryl whispered, reaching for him again. She stayed quiet for a long moment; afraid he was going vomit again. His breathing was ragged but it seemed the worst of the heaving had stopped " It's okay. You had no other choice. "

Vash let his hands fall away from his face, " NO! There had to be another way out! " He glared at Meryl. " Why did you follow me? Why didn't you stay where you were supposed to be? "

" I couldn't… " Meryl shook her head. " Wolfwood said we needed to follow you… "

" You. Should. Have. Stayed. Behind. " Vash ground out before getting to his feet. He took a few steps and his legs started to tremble. Meryl grabbed at him but it was futile… he fell anyway, taking her with him.

She found herself on top of him and blushed, " I'm so sorry… " She started as she got off of him, expecting him to say something but he didn't. She looked down at his face and saw his eyes were shut... he had passed out.

(End Flashback)

That had been nine days ago but it didn't matter… her life was on hold until she could look into those aqua eyes and tell him everything would be okay. She reached over and brushed his bangs from his face, frowning. It was so hard to think about how such a beautiful creature having to deal with so much pain and agony, the weight of the concept nearly crushing her. She ran her fingers down his cheek and along his jaw, fingering the stubble on his chin.

He was so much older than her… over a century older than her but he looked like he was her age. When she had met him, she thought he was such an insufferable goof but now, she could see him for what he was. He was hurting and used the idiot routine as a cover to hide the suffering creature he really was… the one he saw when he looked in the mirror.

She found herself moving closer to him and kissed him softly on the forehead but felt a lump rise in her throat as she recalled his battered body. She had to bandage and clean him as he slept but it still hurt like hell when she looked at his scars. The first time she saw them, she was shocked but they did not bother her after she looked at them for a while. When she looked at them now, she could almost feel the pain he had when he received the wounds.

She moved lower and kissed his nose before getting an absurd notion. As a child, she had been told stories of princes waking princesses with a kiss and then they lived happily ever after. She wondered if she kissed Vash and he woke up, would everything be okay? She moved down slowly and shut her eyes, her heart pounding in her ears as her lips hovered over his.

She lingered for a long time, her mind going to the things he had told her in Tonim Town about how he had to be alone. She couldn't accept that though… Vash needed people. Vash needed them because they made him happy and he needed her. She needed him and wanted to remain by his side until the day she died.

She couldn't believe how soft and full his lips were against hers, her heart fluttering as she kissed him full on the mouth. She stayed there for a long while waiting for him to stir but he made no other move except for his breathing. She pulled away and sighed, feeling foolish for believing in those ancient fairy tales. There was no telling how much they had changed as they were passed down through the generations that had come before her.

She looked down at Vash's sleeping face again, a tear slipping down her cheek. How had she let this happen to her? She was supposed to keep a notorious outlaw out of trouble as part of her job… not fall hopelessly in love with him when she saw the real man under the façade.

**

Milly looked over at Wolfwood as he slept. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness since they had arrived. She had used all of their strength to get Wolfwood and Vash down the hill after Meryl bandaged Vash's wounds. It was nothing short of a miracle when they found the Thomases and the wagon at the bottom, waiting for them.

(Flashback)

Milly loaded the men into the back and got in the front with Meryl. She grabbed up the reigns for the Thomases and urged them to move. Meryl nearly tumbled from the seat but steadied herself and looked at Milly with wide eyes, " What are you doing, Milly? " She asked.

" We have to get as far away from here as possible, Meryl. Mr. Vash really killed someone this time and it will be hard to prove otherwise, " She told Meryl without taking her eyes from the road. She seemed tired but something was pushing her forward. Meryl didn't know where Milly was getting the energy from because, after what they had been through, she just wanted to sleep.

" But he did it in self-defense. We saw it with our own eyes, " Meryl stated.

" They won't take our word when they find out who he is, " Milly said sharply. " Let's just get out of here… "

" Milly! We have to get them some medical attention! Turn back towards town… " Meryl started but the other woman glared at her with an expression she didn't know Milly possessed.

" Don't you remember what Mr. Wolfwood told us? We have to make sure he reaches where he is going or it will be the end of the world, " Milly snapped the reigns harder, making the Thomases move faster.

Meryl didn't reply with anything but a glance towards her feet because she knew it was true. Three days later, they found a village and got some help from the villagers. They said the men were in need of care but they had no place to go. After taking one look at the men, the village elder took the travelers to a house and told the women they could use it for as long as they needed it.

(End Flashback)

Milly settled back down on her cot and tried to go to sleep. She had gotten a job to keep her busy and to bring money in while Meryl did a good deal of the caring for the men. She felt bad that Meryl had to take care of them so much of the time but they needed money. She had gotten on with the team digging a well for the town when she decided that she wasn't cut out to be a barmaid, the only other available job in the town.

Matter of fact, the head of the digging team approached her the day after they arrived and offered her the job. She hadn't been really coherent and agreed to take the job. It wasn't too bad though and the pay was good. It made her tired but she knew she had to work to help.

She shut her eyes and tried to relax, " Goodnight, Nicholas… " She whispered.

**

It was dark but the moons were shining through the window, casting a silvery glow over everything. He was aware that he was alive but didn't know where he was or how he had gotten there. The last thing he remembered was Legato's smiling face before he slipped into darkness. His next memory was of her as she washed him and carefully worked his limbs so he wouldn't lose his strength.

How had he ended up with such a wonderful woman after all the horrible things he had done? He didn't deserve her but there she was, caring for him with nothing but love in her unbelievably blue eyes. She was a big girl with a big heart and he felt like he didn't deserve any part of it. He saw their desperate union on a dusty bed as a selfish move but he thought he was going to die and didn't want to without being with her once.

(Flashback)

He watched her through the smoke that came from the cigarette. She had the blanket pulled to her neck, resting her head on a makeshift pillow made from his jacket and shirt. On the floor lay her clothes and his pants, their shoes sitting not too far away. She had brought him sandwiches so he would have something to eat but had she ended up in his bed naked and deflowered.

What had come over him? Why did he get horny when he was an emotional wreck? Was it some way of dealing with the pain… to push it away and not think about it for a few hours? Did he really think he could just fuck the pain away?

He felt selfish for not thinking about how making love to her would affect her in the long run. What if he had gotten her pregnant? Why hadn't he asked her just one more time if she was still comfortable so she had one more chance to back down? He should have stopped himself but something inside of him pushed him forward and he had to have her.

He had never just gone after a woman in the manner he had went after Milly because it wasn't his style. He was more accustomed to stepping in to save a woman from bandits or some other bastard who had nothing better to do than pick on the weaker sex. If the woman had money, she would show her thanks by making a donation to the orphanage but if she didn't have money, she would show her thanks in other ways. The first time a woman had ever 'thanked' him like that, he was a bit surprised but had been told to expect it.

The only time he really had to turn a woman down was in May City. After he had saved Neil's mother from the debt collectors, she insisted on thanking him but told him she didn't have any money. He turned her down politely and said that she didn't have to do any more than feed him and give him a place to sleep. He had to draw the line somewhere and he wasn't going to do anything with a married woman.

She still insisted on giving him a present so she gave him a bottle of good liquor that wasn't cheap. Wolfwood left after she gave him the liquor to talk to Vash about the contest and realized the girls were listening at the door. He called them in and Meryl apologized for misjudging the situation. Wolfwood noticed that Milly was eyeing the bottle and offered the girls drinks.

Meryl didn't drink at all but Milly more than made up for it. Vash and Wolfwood both were surprised at the little show they got from the big girl before Meryl hustled her from the room. After she was gone, he wondered just how far she would have gone if she had been there alone with just them. He decided Vash, as plastered as he was, would have stepped in and stopped her before she had went too far.

He had always vowed not to fall in love so how had this happened? When did he fall in love with her or was he even in love at all? He wasn't for certain what love was to begin with. He knew what happiness was… that was what he felt when he was around the kids.

He felt happy when he was around her too but it was different. What he felt for her was unexplainable but he knew it felt good. When she was around, he felt like he could make it another day in the hellhole of desolation that was home. She could make his day a little brighter with just a smile or a glance from those unbelievably blue eyes.

One other person made him feel like there was hope and that the whole planet wasn't going to Hell in a hand basket. It was the man he was supposed to kill in the morning. Why had the orders been changed? If they had stayed the same, he could have just taken Vash to Knives and walked away to go back to his kids with enough money to take care of them.

He looked out the window as he twitched his lips, a cone of ashes tumbling into the shadows under the window. He had to decide what to do. ~No matter what happens tomorrow… ~ He thought. ~I will let it happen and cope with it but I don't know if I can kill you, needle noggin. ~

(End Flashback)

He was so certain he was going to die in that little church and never see her again but here he was, staring at her as she slept. She was so beautiful no matter what she did… even when she was kicking ass. He was numbly aware that she had gotten some kind of job in whatever town they were staying. He had seen her in her work clothes one time when he had drifted into consciousness after they had arrived but he wasn't sure what she was doing.

He wondered what Meryl was doing and figured she was caring for Vash. He could see it in her eyes when she looked at him that she fallen in love with Vash. It had become painfully obvious to him after the fall of the SEEDS ship but wondered if Vash had noticed. Vash needed someone to love and she was the best possible candidate.

~You better open up your eyes, needle noggin. She'll be so hurt if you don't realize what she feels for you, ~ He thought, his eyes shutting because his body wanted more rest.