Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ CHECKMATE: A Spiders Beauty ❯ two, yet another brillant chapter name ( Chapter 2 )

Millie busied herself in the kitchen as she tried to forget what had just happened in the living room.

I don't know why I'm so mortified by this. It wasn't like there was anything more than what happened. Knives was unconscious and just grabbed onto me without realizing it.

There is nothing wrong with that. If anything it was rather cute in a way.

Still Millie could help but feel sort of self conscious around Knives now.

With a sigh Millie placed the dough that she has spent all morning on, on the table and flattened it out.

Tonight she was making something special for Knives. She didn't know why she was making it, but she was.

This is a family secret. A recipe handed down from our ancestor that landed with the ordinal SEED ships.

With a flick of her wrist the dough went flying through the air.

It came down in a perfect circle.

Millie smiled.

Strange how some things are forgotten and others aren't. From what my grandfather said this food used to be very popular and common. Now it's forgotten except for in my family.

Millie reached over and stirred a thick red concoction that she had cooking in a large pan. A small taste and Millie nodded to herself.

The sauce was perfect.

"Knives, dinner is going to be ready in about 30 minutes so don't snack."

She heard a grunt in response, which in Knives tongue meant he heard and understood.

In no time at all she had the dough ready with a thick layer of sauce on it. Next came the pepperonis and sausages, a few unions and peppers for taste and some small slices of ham and chicken. After that came the shredded cheese.

It wasn't like the cheese they had before, it was made out of Thomas milk but that was fine. It still tasted like cheese…just different.

Or at least that's what she heard…Millie had never seen a cow before; much less tasted it's milk.

With a satisfied smirk Millie put her creation into the oven. It wouldn't take long now, only 10 minutes or so and the family secret would be finished.

I wonder if Cheese disks were that popular on earth. If they were why have we forgotten them?

Millie occupied herself cleaning and such until the buzzer on the over went off.

There done…it looks and smells great!

Millie put the Cheese disk onto a large pan careful not to burn herself and placed it on the counter.

She then grabbed some forks and plates taking them out to Knives.

"Feeling better Knives? You've been awfully quiet?"

Knives grunted again, not meeting her eyes.

Millie didn't seem to notice…or more likely she chose to ignore the rudeness.

"I made a special dish tonight. My family makes it all the time…its kind of a family secret though so don't tell anyone."

Millie smiled brightly again as she went into the kitchen and grabbed the Cheese Disk.

Knives raised his eyebrow at the strange looking round food.

"What is it?"

"Well…"

Started Millie,

"We call it a Cheese Disk. My great great grandfather used to make them on earth…but we sort of don't know what he called it."

Carefully cutting a slice Millie transferred the piece over to Knives plate. For a moment his eyes seemed distant as he watched her.

"Is something wrong?"

Knives shook himself out of the trance he was in. Once again he didn't answer Millie's question.

He instead focused on the very strange food she was feeding him. He had to admit despite its looks it did smell good.

Cutting off a piece he took a small bite.

His eyes widened slightly.

This was very very good. Probably the best thing Millie had ever made.

They ate in silence both occupied with their own thoughts.

Knives was able to finish three pieces by himself, which made Millie very happy. Knives appetite hadn't been what she thought it should be. His wounds needed good food to heal and he wasn't eating enough to sustain a child.

"Why…"

Knives started…then cut himself off. Millie looked up from her own plate. Startled that Knives had said something. He never said a word to her unless she asked him a question.

"Why what?"

Knives looked down at his plate.

"Why have you taken so much care in insuring my health?"

"What do you mean?"

Knives looked up and Millie found herself confused by the tempest of emotion whirling behind his eyes.

"I don't understand you humans. I've tried to kill Vash…I ordered Wolfwoods death. You yourself probably was almost killed because of me. Yet you hold no grudge? No hatred?"

Millie frowned slightly.

"How do you know if I don't hold anything against you? What if me taking care of you was a favor to Vash?"

"It's not."

Millie put down her fork. This was really strange. For almost a week Knives had done everything he could to keep from talking to her and now he was asking questions. Something was wrong…she could feel it. It was like a tension in the air.

"How do you know that Mr. Knives?"

She watched curious as one of his eyes twitched.

"You're to gentle. No one with hatred in their heart could be so gentle."

"Oh."

Millie said a tiny blush coming to her cheeks.

"I was just…just wondering why?"

Millie cleared her throat suddenly uncomfortable herself. What should she say to that? She herself wasn't even sure why she was so nice to him. She knew she should hate him. She should not really care if you lived or died. But…she did care. She didn't want Knives to die.

"Well Mr. Knives…"

Millie stopped trying to collect her thoughts.

"I think its because Mr. Vash has forgiven you. Despite all the bad things you have done Mr. Vash thinks you can change. And well…I can do no less. If Mr. Vash thinks it's true then it must be."

Millie had just finished her sentence when suddenly Knives moved. She didn't even have time to scream in surprise. It was so fast and hard that she didn't realize she had been attacked until she felt a wall slammed into her back.

Surprised blue eyes meet raged blues one.

"And just because my idiot brother says so…that's the reason!"

Millie stiffened slightly as she felt the tip of her knife that she had used to cut the cheese disk pressed against her throat. Millie tried to calm her mind and ignore the blinding speed, which he had shown attacking her and grabbing the knife. It made her dizzy trying to imagine how fast he would be when fully healed.

"Humans are disgusting! They are imperfect beings! I am killing the spiders to save the butterflies!"

Millie felt the tip of the knife cut into her throat slightly.

"What do you have to say about that!?"

Millie swallowed knowing that what she said now would either mean her life or death. Knives was on the edge…why he hadn't already killed her she didn't know. But she had a feeling…a feeling it was important. He was obviously fighting with himself over something. Maybe that something had to do with her, maybe it didn't. But she did have a feeling what she said would matter. It would possibly sway him either way.

But before she made a comment she decided to do some digging. She needed to know more before she made a comment.

"And why are the spiders such evil things?"

"THEY KILL THE BUTTERFLIES!"

Millie flinched as Knives screamed at her. She wasn't sure what the whole butterfly and spider thing was but she guessed it was a metaphor for something. He mentioned humans and she could only assume they were the spiders…but what were the butterflies?

Oh well she would think that later. Right now she had to say something before he stuck that knife in her throat.

"Butterflies are beautiful and yes spiders kill butterflies to live themselves."

"I should kill you then! To save the butterflies."

His voice had taken on a desperate sound, and the knife got pressed tighter against her throat. Millie felt a small river of blood start to roll down her neck. She forced herself not to flinch or cry out. It was just a small cut, nothing more than a scratch right now. She had to remain calm.

"Knives…"

Millie whispered softly. Knives stiffened as she said his name for the first time without the Mr in front of it.

"Knives…have you ever looked closely at a spider?"

"I…"

Knives blinked not expecting that answer. He had been expecting the same old story that the spiders had to kill the butterflies to live themselves. They had to eat, and to eat the butterfly was sacrificed.

"Who's to say a spider isn't beautiful? Have you ever looked at a spider web in the morning with dew sparkling like diamonds on it? Have you ever watched a spider create a home working so hard for hours for such a small and delicate place to call its own. Tear down its web, what happens then? The spider starts over. It doesn't hate it doesn't keep a grudge or seek revenge, it simply starts over. Isn't that beautiful?"

Knives was shaking…he was actually shaking.

This bitch! She was infecting him even as she spoke. She was infecting him with her non-sense about a spider's beauty. What was so special about a spider!?

The butterflies were what was important!

"Spiders kills the butterfly!"

"But what right do you have to kill the Spiders Knives?"

Knives eyes widened in surprise. What she said…it was exactly what Rem said all those years ago. It was what Vash said now. With a suppressed shudder Knives slowly removed the knife.

"There is no end is there? There is no right or wrong? Everything just circles around and contradicts itself."

Millie had no idea what he was talking about so she remained quiet.

"I had a dream Millie. You were in it, so that that black haired woman and Vash. You all asked me what I feared? You wouldn't shut up…the voice kept asking me what I feared."

Knives halfway collapsed on her as his energy and strength slowly left him. He after all was still badly wounded. He shouldn't even be trying to walk yet, much less attacking people.

Millie reached out and held him steady as he started to lean into her. Millie noticed uncomfortably how he pressed her harder into the wall keeping her in one place.

With eyes closed he leaned his head against her shoulder, fairly wrapping her body with his.

"There is no way to save both. Why can't you understand that? Why can't I just kill the spiders to save the butterflies?"

Millie gently reached around him in an awkward hug.

"Nothing is ever that simple Knives."

Millie startled a little as she felt Knives arms snake around her gently returning the hug. It was the last thing she had expected for him. Yet…it seemed like the right thing to do.

"It once was."

Knives sighed his voice suddenly sounding very strained and far away.

"Millie…why did you make the spiders beautiful?"

Millie swallowed not sure what to say. This entire conversation didn't make any sense to her. Talks about spiders and butterflies.

I'm pretty sure he meant that spiders are the humans. And I guess that the butterflies are plants? That makes sense; Knives and Vash are a type of plant. Ok so Knives thinks that Humans kill or hurt plants to live?

"You need to lay down again. You shouldn't have moved.

Millie frowned, as he made no move to do that. With a slight push she was able to slip out of his grasp. She thanked god that he wasn't holding on to her like before and she could actually get out.

He really wasn't doing anything to help so she basically dragged him over to his bed.

Knives looked out of it, like something traumatic had happened. Like he was in shell shock or something.

I know humans must use the plants to survive here. But do we really hurt them? I'll ask Vash.

Millie sighed as she placed the blanket back over Knives.

First things first, she needed to go buy him some cloths.

She was not going to get into another close conflict like that with a naked man!

Knives let the spider put him back into bed. He let her walk away from him. He let her live.

No one has the right to take the life of another.

Useless prattle, utter garbage, silly ideals of a human long dead.

She died to save everyone else. She willingly died to save the other ships. How stupid can you get?

Knives hated that woman. Because of her his brother, the only other one of his kind was against him. He would rather save the spiders than the butterflies.

Are spider beautiful?

Have you ever looked at a spider?

AND Millie was no different. She was just like Rem had been all those years ago. She held on to stupid ideals.

But what right do you have to kill the Spiders Knives?

Knives snarled to himself.

He had every right to kill the spiders. He was a plant; he was saving his brothers and sisters.

Nothing is ever that easy.

He didn't understand. Millie hadn't told him if he was right or wrong. She had even said that spiders do have to kill butterflies to life.

But she didn't…

Knives mentally frowned.

She hadn't really said anything different from Vash or Rem. Only that she had pointed out that spiders could be beautiful as well.

That was the only difference. She hadn't said that killing spiders was wrong…only that what right did he have to do it?

Did that mean she agreed with him.

No…she hadn't agreed with him. But then again she hadn't agreed with Vash either.

Are spiders beautiful? I've never looked close enough at one. I don't remember.

She was very vague about everything, yet everything she said made sense. How can that be?

Knives sighed as he let himself relax in the bed.

She was right about one thing though, nothing is ever that simple.

I can no longer kill the spiders to save the butterflies. I'm tired…so very tired of it.

And it seemed like nothing would ever be that simple again.

Knives woke up with a start. Strange thing was he didn't remember falling asleep.

For a moment he was confused as to where he was, then right about then his memory kicked in.

Knives frowned as his eyes looked around searching for Millie. He couldn't see her, and he couldn't hear her annoying humming anywhere.

Is she gone? Did I frighten her?

For some odd reason Knives felt himself start to panic. He felt a terrible gut burning sensation at the thought of her not returning.

He didn't like it and tried ruthlessly to feel different. But it was impossible; he couldn't force himself not to care.

Leaning up in bed he tried to decide what to do. He…wanted to go and look for Millie. Make her come back.

But he just was so confused, why did he want this? Why did he care?

Didn't he just yesterday decide to kill her?

I tried to kill her and couldn't. I really tried.

Knives looked down at his hand. It still had a little bit of dried blood on it.

He had been so close to taking her life. Just a quick turn on his hand. She wouldn't even have felt it. She would have simply fallen as her lifeblood drained from her.

But something had stopped him. He, for the first time in his life simply couldn't kill her.

He had looked into her blue eyes, and had seen so many things. She was worried of course, but she was also calm, brave, wondering, and patient. All those emotion were fine and dandy…but where was the fear?

Despite the fact he was about to kill her she still had no fear of him.

But now…

Knives looked around again trying to figure out how long he had been asleep. Couldn't have been more than an hour.

Did she desert him that quickly?

Knives felt something constrict in his chest and he was forced to lie back down.

Did she really leave?

Knives tried to close his eyes and sleep some more.

As he did so the feeling in his stomach intensified.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

This was almost a physical sickness! Was he getting an infection, that would explain the strange feelings and thoughts.

Knives pushed back the bandage on his shoulder. The wound defiantly wasn't infected…he had already known there wasn't one. Millie had taken such good care of him that of course there wasn't an infection.

He looked at the wound carefully. It was healing very well. So well in fact he could move around maybe even walk without risk of opening them again.

They still hurt like hell though so moving was something he really didn't want to do.

I have to find her!

Knives had just made up his mind to deal with the pain and get up when the door to the house suddenly opened.

Knives stiffened expecting something nasty to happen.

However nothing bad happened and he even heard something, a light humming sound.

Knives sighed in relief.

Millie was back. She hadn't taken off to parts unknown.

She hadn't abandoned him

Knives blinked as now that Millie was back he could wonder at the strange feelings.

He hadn't wanted her to go. That much he understood. He had wanted her to come back so much that he had actually been willing to leave and look for her.

He didn't really understand that. Walking was very painful, looking for someone would have bee impossible.

What the fuck was wrong with him!

"Oh Hello Mr. Knives. I wasn't expecting you to wake up."

Knives grunted as he leaned back in his bed again. His eyes narrowed as he watched Millie go about her business.

She had a several large sacks in hand and seemed to be having trouble with them. She couldn't seem to get them through the living room without knocking something over.

Finally with a frustrated growl she simply dropped them where she was standing.

Turning slightly she smiled at him. A wide happy and beaming smile, a smile from the soul.

It stunned him.

She can still smile at me like that even though I tried to kill her. Why?

She made her way over to him. Knives shifted slightly in bed, as he felt more uncomfortable the closer she got.

Millie reached out and touched his forehead.

Knives froze…he absolutely froze. He wouldn't have been able to move if she had then draw a gun on him and fired.

"Hmm, you're fevers gone down…good."

Knives swallowed tried to force something coherent out.

"I had a fever?"

Millie let her hand drop and nodded.

"Just a little one."

Knives let his eyes drop away from hers. There was something that actually hurt to look at in her eyes.

Millie frowned at Knives strange behavior. He seemed almost jaded if that was the right words.

No doubt he depressed a little. I would be to after being stuck in a bed for so long.

"Hey Mr. Knives."

Millie said putting as much cheer into her voice as she could. Knives looked up at her a question in his eyes.

Millie picked up one of the several bags she had dragged in. She laid it on his lap gently.

"For you."

Knives eyebrow drew together as he looked at the shopping bag.

She bought me something?

Knives glanced at Millie again. She was smiling at him. It was a real smile. Not those stupid fake ones everyone seemed to use all the time.

He just didn't understand. Why was she so nice to him? Why was she so gentle? Why didn't she fear him?

Knives reached into the bag curious at least of what a person like Millie would have bought him.

It was cloths…he thought surprised.

He almost felt like laughing.

He would have never thought Millie the kind to actually buy him gifts he needed. He had suspected her to be the more…useless gift giver kind.

With a slightl smile that he didn't bother to wipe off his face he looked over the cloths.

There was a rather nice outfit that looked suspiciously like Vash's inner cloths, but instead of black they were a deep forest green color.

He looked at Millie and she grinned even wider as she held up a long coat. Thankfully it didn't look anything like Vash's coat. This one like the other cloths it was a deep forest green, but it also had small designs at the bottom in solid white. It also had trimming in white.

The coat didn't have any sleeves and was about mid calf length.

Despite himself he liked it. The color reminded him of…of the wreck room on the original SEEDS ships and it was classy looking without being gay.

"I thought you would like these."

Millie walked forward again, and pressed the coat against his chest to judge if it would fit. Knives froze once again this time not even being able to breath until she let up.

"Hm this should fit. I'm sorry but I had to guess what size you wore."

"Its fine."

He heard himself say.

Millie nodded that silly smile never leaving her face.

"I also got you some pajama's since you're not quite ready to get out of bed. I thought it would be more comfortable for you."

Millie held up a pants, shirt combo. They were a light blue color with no patterns on them. For that Knives was grateful, he had half expected to be given pajamas with hearts or something on them.

Knives took the pajama and pulled the shirt over his head. He then waited for Millie to turn around before pulling the pants on as well. It stung a little to move like that but he felt much better now that he wasn't naked under the sheets.

"I also got some playing cards. I didn't know if you played or not."

Millie shrugged to herself as she went digging through the bags.

Suddenly she stopped….

Knives raised his eyebrows at her curiously.

"I um also got you something else…"

She coughed her smile taking on a decidedly embarrassed look.

"There was a leather smith in town and he fixed this up for me."

Standing up Millie held out her other gift to Knives. His eyes narrowed as he looked at it.

It was a gun hostler, but that wasn't what caught his attention.

What was so 'special' about it was on the flat side of the leather something was drawn into the leather.

Holding the hostler up he looked carefully.

On the side was a spider and a butterfly, burned carefully and skillfully into the leather.

Millie shrugged as she felt his eyes turn toward her.

"Now you can protect both."

Knives felt his mouth drop open.

Him…protect the spiders. Protect the humans like his stupid brother did.

He looked at the hostler again. The design was really nice, a good job. Both butterfly and spider were nice looking.

Isn't the spider beautiful to? Have you ever looked at a spider before?

He ran his fingers over the cut leather, feeling the grooves of the spider design.

Were spiders beautiful to? He didn't know. He had never really looked at one.

He wasn't sure what was right and wrong anymore. Things were just so confusing.

He knew…he knew for a fact that you couldn't save both. The spider would die without the butterfly, to live the spider killed the butterfly. He knew this to be true.

Yet…Rem, his brother and now this woman, they all said that both could be saved, both protected.

He just didn't understand.

With a sigh Knives put the holster on the table beside him. He felt so very tired again.

"Thank you."

He said simply.