Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ CHECKMATE: A Spiders Beauty ❯ 8, I LOVE VASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Chapter 8 )

AN: Ohhh you guys are going to hate me:P BBWWHAHAHAHA (evil and sinister laugh)

The wind continued to howl outside. Trapping the two unwilling beings within the old and musty barn. Both Knives and Millie remained silent. Neither human nor plant had said a word after Millie's quiet thank you.

Knives felt the pressure of unease and sadness that still hung around Millie, and it made him nervous.

He knew without her saying that she was still angery with him. Still was hurting by the words he had said. He could see that by her body language. The way she wouldn't look him in the eyes. By the way she stayed arms length away from him.

He wondered if she would ever forgive him.

Forgive me? Damn what the fuck am I thinking. I don't want a humans forgivness! They are nothing! I am above wanting or needing their forgivness.

Knives frowned to himself as he fletched his burned fingers gently.

Why the hell did I tell her about Wolfwoods betraying me? I wanted her to hate him. Not see him as some dark angel that had been saved at the last moment.

He winched at the pain from his burns.

And why the hell did I nearly kill myself over some stupid humans garden. They don't deserve the kind of treasure I put into that soil.

Knive glanced over toward Millie. Just looking at her made him feel funny again. No doubt his body still lusted after her. It was some kind of curse that plagued him because he was male. Surely that was the only reason.

Millie wasn't anything special. So what if she could beat him at chess. She sucked at cards and repeated did the most stupid of things. She laughed at inappropriate times and always had that stupid grin on her face.

He hated it! He hated her! He hated himself for wanting her!

However more than anything he hated Wolfwood for being in her heart and memories.

Knives snorted to himself over his conflicting feelings.

It must be from the chemical imbalance caused by the gun shot wounds. Nothing else could explain it. He was simply off balance due to his injuries and the fact he had been bed ridden for almost a week.

He couldn't have feelings for a human. He didn't really feel jeolous over a human. And Millie was nothing more than a way to get healed before he went on his rampage.

He knew this to be true. What else could account for everything that happened to him. He was right. He knew he was.

So…why then was he having trouble believing it? Why was this annoying voice telling him he was just lieing to himself?

This is rediculous. Why am I even thinking about this. What I feel is simple lust. A males reaction to a pretty female. If I sleep with her then this would all go away. But I don't want to sleep with her. That is below me…to lay with a human. Its disgusting!

Knives glanced at Millie against a slightly blush staining his cheeks.

Still…I hadn't thought it disgusting when we were kissing in the cave. I would have glady continued. DAMN hormones!

"Millie…"

He said to break the silence. He felt sure he would go crazy argueing with himself.

"I haven't forgiven you."

Millie interupted him. Her blue eyes flickered toward him with quite a bit of anger still in them.

"What you said…no how you said it was uncalled for. Wolfwood is dead. You didn't have to dirty his name."

Suddenly Knives didn't want to talk anymore. The silence seemed like bliss now.

So instead of answering her he snorted again and turned his head away. He didn't have to explain his actions to Millie. She was just a human.

"Don't you dare ignore me Knives!"

Millie suddenly exploded her voice rising in volume and anger.

Knives didn't even have time to wonder at this when suddenly he was dragged to his feet in a very rough manner. His eyes widened in shock as his face was brought up to Millie's.

She glared at him, her eyes flashing in anger. Her grip on his coat didn't let up as she forced him to look at her.

"Why did you say those things! Why did you say those horrible things! I don't understand! Why did you have to show how much of an ass you are!"

Tears streamed down her face like twin rivers. She ignored the stinging that the salt in them caused when it hit her wounds.

Knives blinked wide eyed. He was so surprised at her outburst he couldn't even gather the engery to get out of her grip. Knives felt himself being shaken. Millie was shaking him like ragdoll. Her eyes were now clenched shut, her face showing how much she hurt on the inside.

Growling Knives jerked out of her grip. The suddenly movement played havic on his wounds and he almost fell. However he wasn't paying much attention to that. Instead his blue eyes were flashing in vehemence at the cause of his confusion.

"Don't touch me human!"

He yelled back at her.

"I have every right to say what I want when I want too! Wolfwood was an idiot! He died because he couldn't make the cut! He died because he listened to my brother!"

"I hate you!"

She screamed out.

"I'll never forgive you! Nicolas died BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Millie jerked her head to the side. Tears sparkled in the dim light of the barn as they flew from her face.

"You can't touch anything without destroying it!"

Knives sneered.

"I've touched you."

"AND LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!"

Millie once again grabbed Knives by the coat bringing the plant closer to her. She titled her face up so he could see it clearly.

"Look at me Knives. God Damn it…SEE ME!"

Suddenly Millie collasped agaisnt him and Knives was hard press to find his legs to keep from falling.

Knives blinked again as he stared at her face. He had no idea what she wanted him to see. All he saw was her face, and her pretty blue eyes…eyes that were a few shades lighter than the sky. All he saw was a spiders face?

No…not a spider. Millie…I see Millie's face.

Suddenly Millie's face softened. A small sad smile touched her face before she pressed her face into his chest.

"I was so happy when you had finally looked at me. Looked at me like I was more than a moving, talking piece of furniture. I was so happy."

Millie sobbed again as she tried to catch her breath.

"Why couldn't you leave well enough alone."

Knives felt his anger slip away like sand in an open palm. Slowly as if afraid Millie would shatter in his arms he wrapped his arms around her shoulder.

Her pain was like a thick blanket that wrapped around her. He could taste its bitterness as it hung in the air. It was choking him, making it difficult to breath and stinging his eyes.

I hate this. I hate seeing Millie like this.

Knives tightened his hold on her. He couldn't deny that basic feeling.

Just seeing her like this felt like he was being shot all over again.

"I…can't change who I am."

He whispered softly unsure if what he was saying was right. He didn't know how to explain how he was feeling.

"I won't change how I feel about humans. The spider…does not change its nature anymore than I can."

Millie stopped crying so suddenly that it was kind of creepy.

She then slowly lifted her head up to look into his eyes.

"There is no hope for us is there?"

Knives eyes narrowed slightly. The truth was something no one could hide from. They could deny it. They could fight with it. But the truth never changed.

"No. There never was."

Millie nodded.

"Its for the best, I guess."

Millie laughed softly although her face looked anything but happy.

"I had rather hoped…"

Knives tilted his head and took her lips into a soft kiss. He silenced her in the sad expression. It was a very innocent kiss. There were no exploding bombs or insane hormones thrown into the mix. There was no open mouth and no tongue. There was no franticness and no fright. There was only a sweet and tender whirl of emotions.

It was exsactly like their first kiss.

Knives lifted his head.

"Why did you make the spider beautiful Millie? Everything was so simple once."

Millie smiled that sad smile again.

"Nothing is ever simple. Haven't you learned that yet Knives."

Knives actually chuckled at this. His face softened in an expression that never had before crossed across his face.

"I should go."

With that he let go of Millie. She backed up allowing him the choice to do as he wished.

What needed to be done and what he wanted were two different things.

He could only choose one. His mission or Millie…he knew that the paths could not be mixed. Could not be both traveled.

He was given the choice of the Spider or the Butterfly.

Have you ever looked at a spider Mr. Knives.

Knives remembered his dream.

Yes I have.

And what did you see.

I saw you Millie.

Turning away Knives limped toward the doors. The wind had died down a little and wasn't as dangerous anymore. He would be able to leave and get into the car. He would be able to drive away. Never to see this place or Millie again.

Millie…you'r not a spider, not a butterfly. You're something completely different and I think I've finally discovered what. You're a light in the dark places of the world. You shine and glitter allowing those lost to find their ways again. Its too bad that I can't follow that light.

Knives opened the doors winched at the sand that flew in his face.

Goodbye Millie.

Vash rubbed his head as he looked around the very peacefull looking farm house. The glare of the rising suns was enough to make him squint and blink.

Everything looked alright. There was no damage that couldn't be explained by the storm last night. He didn't see any bodies, or puddles of blood. There were no bullet holes or other damage to suggest a fight.

The air had a strange tangy taste to it…but otherwise was painfully devoid of his brother.

"He's not here."

Vash said with certainty.

Meryl frowned as she got out of the car.

"Are you sure?"

Vash nodded his eyes narrowing.

"Possitive…although I can feel his energies still lingering. He couldn't have left long ago."

His energies? What the hell did he do to make the very soil throb with his presence. That doesn't sound like something my brother would do. Of course…he had been rather angry last night. Maybe the energy was created by that?

Meryl sighed before gently taking Vash's hand.

"Don't worry Vash."

She reached up as far as she could and placed a kiss on his neck. She grunted, slightly annoyed that he was so tall…or she so short whatever.

"I'll go see what Millie's family can tell us. Then we'll go."

Letting go of Vash's hand Meryl ran toward the front door. She didn't hestinat as she pounded on the thick wood.

After a moment the door opened…and Meryl gasped in shock.

"MILLIE!"

Meryl lauched herself into the larger womans arms. She took in her red and swollan face in less than second. It looked like a sand burn if she was to guess. Millie's arm was also bandaged up and carefully set in a sling. Other than that she looked alright.

"Hello Meryl."

Millie said her voice soft and calm.

Something in her tone set warning alarms in Meryl's head.

"Millie what happened? Tell me?"

Millie smiled.

"Nothing really."

"Where's Knives? Vash said he wasn't here."

Millie's smile faultered slightly.

"He left."

"what?"

"Its nothing…drop it. Hello Mr. Vash. Would like to come in? Momma is fixing a wonderful breakfast…we even have some homemade donutes waiting for you. Come in. My home is your home."

Vash and Meryl exchanged a confused look before allowing Millie to hustle them into the house.

"Momma we have guests. You know Miss Meryl and this is Vash the Stampede."

Vash's eyes grew huge as he looked at the woman that easily looked him back in the eyes. She was every bit as tall as himself and quite a bit more muscular. Vash coughed and gave her his award winning smile.

He felt unnerved by her reserved smile.

He watched as her face softened then smiled with as much radiace usually reserved only for Millie. It was easy to see where Millie had gotten some of her charactisics.

"Welcome Mr. Stampede. I hear you like Donutes? Well we have plenty."

Vash fairly drooled…hell he did drool as he spotted the huge plate of donuate just waiting to be molested.

Meryl sighed and dabbed a napkin she kept for such emgernecies agaisnt his chin.

"Mr. Vash. This is my Big Big Brother Tony his wife Shelly and their kids, John, Bryan, Kenny, Mitchel, Tony Jr. and Jordon."

Vash smiled and took the hand of Tony and his two eldest sons. To greet the younger ones he kneeled down.

"Hi there."

Tony Jr. frowned and held his little brother Jordan close to him, away from the stranger.

"You look like the mean man. I don't like you."

"Tony!"

Big Big brother said somewhat mortified at his son.

Vash's smile faultered as everyone in the kitchen became silent. He stood up his face somewhat strained.

"My brother didn't hurt anyone did he?"

"Only our ears."

Big Big brother said, before clarifing.

"He only yelled a lot. Scared the kids."

"I'm sorry."

Vash said his voice cracking a little bit.

Terri, Millie's mother tsked and handed Vash a plate of donutes.

"Don't be…you can't be responsible for a man like that."

Vash nodded before glancing at Meryl.

"We can't stay long. I have to find him before he hurts someone."

Johns, Big Big Brother oldest child frowned. He was only 17 and as teenagers tended to do, he said what was on his mind.

"Well if Aunt Millie hadn't let him go this wouldn't be a problem."

Terri whacked the offending boy upside the head.

"John, watch your mouth."

The boy sidesteped and moved out of range.

"Its true. Aunt Millie could have forced him to stay. He was injuried!"

"Knives made his choice. I couldn't stand in the way of that."

All eyes turned toward Millie. She looked down her eyes haunted.

"You can't change a man like Knives by force."

Millie glanced at Vash. She shifted uncomfortable.

"You can't change the Butterflies nature anymore than you can the spiders. The spider has to kill the butterfly to survive. Knives is right. You can't save both."

With that Millie stood up and walked out.

Vash and Meryl blinked. Then turned to each other confused looks on their faces.

"Vash…I think maybe leaving her with Knives wasn't such a good idea?"

Merly whispered for her lovers ears only.

Terri sighed as she put some pancakes on the table.

"She's been like that since that man left. What he said really hurt her."

Meryl's closed her eyes in a firm expression before getting up to follow Millie.

"I'll talk to her."

Millie's mother also watched Millie go. She looked concerned but like all good mothers she decided to let her daughter figure it out on her own. A child never learned anything given to them. They had to walk their own paths and learn from their own mistakes.

Millie was a grown woman.

"Ok boys!"

Terri said with the voice only a mother of 10 could managed.

"Everyone out of the kitchen until I finish breakfast! Don't you groan at me BB! Out out out! Mr. Vash you can stay…you're a guest. And you better put that donut down unless you want your head to meet my frying pan of DOOM!"

Vash smiled sheepishly and put the donut back on the table. Terri smirked as she took her hand off the very large frying pan she had been threatening him with.

After a moment Vash spoke again. He was secretly glad she had gotten everyone out. Some things shouldn't be said in front of kids.

"Miss. Terri, what did Knives say?"

"You mean other than that insane ranting about ending of the human race?"

Vash went white at her words. Terri noticed this and frowned.

"He wasn't kidding was he? He really wants to kill everyone."

Vash rubbed the back of his head after plastering a fake smile on.

"Um…so what else did he say."

He said clearly avoiding the subject. Terri eyed him knowing good and well what Vash was doing. However she allowed the legendary gunman to sidetrack the topic and instead answered his question.

"Some bad things about the Priest you traveled with."

Vash winced and glanced toward the door that Millie had disappeared into.

"You knew didn't you.

Vash nodded.

"I guessed…although I wasn't sure."

Terri sighed as she added some salt to something that was sizzling in a large pan. She moved the pan back and forth stirring the contents.

"I fear there is more to this than just a dead mans reputation."

"What?"

Terri emptied the pan into a large glass bowl.

"Nothing. I shouldn't have said that…afterall there is nothing we can do. What has happened is souly between Millie and your brother. It would be wrong to poke our noses in."

Vash opened his mouth to aske another question when suddenly Terri screamed out.

"BREAKFAST!"

Vash fell over in his chair, yelping in pure surprise. He could have sworn that the very house shook from the volume.

There was complete silence. Silence so deep that a light buzz sound could be heard.

That silence lasted for about 2 seconds.

Then the kitchen became a war zone!

The feeding frenzy had begun.

"Millie? Can I come in?"

Meryl knocked gently on her best friends door. When no one answered Meryl pushed open the door. She was only slightly surprised to see that it was unlocked.

When Millie didn't say anything to the intrution, Meryl walked in and closed the door behind her.

It was dark in Millie's room. The only light was from a small window that was covered with thick curtains. Only the smallest amount of the morning light was able to penitrate the small room. Meryl stood still a moment allowing her eyes to grow acustome to the dim light.

Once she could see she was surprised and worried at what she saw.

Millie…she was sitting silently on the egde of the bed. Her head hung down loosly from her shoulders, and her hands wer folded neatly in her lap.

She wasn't crying. That was good.

But she wasn't smiling either. In fact she seemed rather jaded. Her face was drawn in, her eyes unfocused.

Meryl frowned deeply before she gingerly sat next to her friend.

"Millie?"

Meryl placed her hand on Millie knee in a comforting gesture. Millie moved…so that Meryl's hand slipped off her knee. It was a blanent refusal of her comfort and Meryl was at a lose what to do. She had never seen Millie act like this.

"I've done something really stupid."

Meryl didn't move afraid that Millie would stop talking and kick her out. She wanted to hold her friend. It was obvious Millie was hurting over something. Merly just wanted to help. Help like Millie had always done to her when things had been bad with Vash.

"What do you mean?"

Millie turned slightly. Her eyes flashed almost unnaturally from the slight light coming through the window.

"All I did was try to help him. I did everything I could think of. I bought him new cloths, took him out to eat icecream. I taught him how to play poker and old maid. I even played chess with him…"

Millie stopped her eyes growing more distant.

"I always won. Maybe I should have let him win once?"

Meryl remain silent since it seemed that Millie was talking more to herself than anything.

"No…he wouldn't have liked that. A man like Knives…no I'm sorry, a Plant like Knives wouldn't want anything he didn't earn. It would have hurt his pride."

Millie sighed deeply.

"Where did I go wrong? Everything was going good until…"

Meryl saw something click behind Millie eyes. She wanted so bad to ask what…however she was afraid that Millie would stop talking. She wanted even more to know what was bothering her.

"It was when I took him here that he became worse. I guess…"

Millie started going slowly over her words. She seemed to almost taste them as they came out her mouth. She studied each word before saying it, just to make sure.

"He had seen me. But he couldn't see my family. All he saw were spiders. To many to look at closely. To many…to soon."

Millie looked at Meryl for the first time and smiled.

"Was I wrong to try and help him?"

Meryl shook her head no. She wasn't sure what was going on. But surely trying to help someone…even if that someone was Knives couldn't be wrong.

"Then why does it hurt so much Meryl! If what I did was right…why do I feel like crying!"

Totally surprising her partner Millie lauched herself into Meryl shoulder. Great sobs wracked Millies larger form as she drenched Meryls coat.

"Why Meryl…why!"

Meryl again didn't speak for fear she would say the wrong thing. Instead she just held Millie. She held her and gently rubbed her back, telling Millie that she was here for her. She was here and she wasn't going away.

After what seemed like moments but in real life had to be at least an hour Millie removed herself.

She wipped her eyes seeming embarressed by her outburst.

"I'm sorry Meryl."

"Don't be…its been a rough week for you."

Millie nodded and smiled.

"Are you two going after him?"

Meryl shrugged not liking the fake smile on Millie's face. It was the same smile she had worn whenWolfwood had died, only worse.

"I don't know."

"Well if you do then you'll need supplies. You can come to town with me tomorrow. I have go see my father. He's sick you know. That's why I came out here. From what I hear he's doing fine now…but I didn't know that when I first got my Big Big sister letter. Are you hungry? Better go get breakfast quick. I think I heard Momma call not long ago. If we don't hurry nothing will be left."

Stand up Millie smiled wider and quickly left the room to go and eat.

Meryl blinked as she slowly stood up from the bed.

"That was weird."

Oh Millie…what happened between you and Knives?