AN: I've noticed something the other day. Millie is starting to go OOC. She just isn't the smilly carefree Millie we all know and love. I thought about changing it (this is before I updated chapter 10) but it just didn't go well with the story. I thought about this for quiet a long time and finally decided what to do about it. I can't tell you because then I'll be giving away the plot, and yes my story finally does have a plot, but it will all make sense in the end…I hope. Oh and just to tell you all…I've got a new computer to replace the old crappy one (well if you want to get techincal my dad got a new laptop, but I still live at home so anything of his is everything of mine as well:P) Well anyway I will have no problems getting on the web and updating now. (basks in the clapping of everyone keeping up on this story…only to cringe as the rabid fans of all her others fics that she hasn't updated snarl and hiss)

Millie woke up only moments after she had pasted out. Moaning she sat up and rubbed her aching head.

What the hell was that? That was strange even for me.

Millie stood up and shifted from foot to foot making sure she hadn't hurt anything in her fall. She seemed to be alright…alright except for the throbbing headache pounding a tempo in her forehead.

I think I need to take a sick day. I've already gotten all of today's work done anyhow.

Milli quickly gathered her things and was out the door in less than a few minutes.

People just don't pass out Millie. Was it just stress…or is something wrong? Am I sick?

Millie rubbed her head again noticing that the headache had eased a little.

"Millie? Where you going?"

Corre looked up from her desk slightly worried.

Millie tried to force a smile, but the memory of what Corre had said about her stopped that smile cold in its tracks. Even a fake smile right now would feel like a slap to Millie's face.

"I'm not feeling well. I think I better go home now."

"Are you alright…you look, very pale."

Millie turned slightly so she could see her reflection in a near by window. She blinked at her image. She was pale, white and sickly looking.

Well at least I look as bad as I feel.

"I'm fine, I just need to go home."

Millie started to leave, and was stopped as Corre grabbed her arm.

"Millie…I'm really worried."

Millie bit her lip to keep from crying, or saying something she would reget. She had really thought things were getting better here. Sure she didn't have a friend like Meryl…but she didn't expect that. Meryl was one of a kind girl. You can't just wish for two friends that like, it was selfish.

But she had thought at least these people, dispite their petty fights, were her friends.

Millie jerked her arm out of Corre's hand. Perhaps it would be best to tell her the truth. That was she wouldn't be subject to their sicken games as they decided whether or not she was sane.

"I heard what you said about me. I am not crazy and Meryl is not dead or being rapped. She is happily married to the kindest, unselfish and gentle man on the planet! I was not tortured or rapped or altered in anyway! So you can take your gossip and SHOVE IT!"

With that Millie turned completely around and walked out.

She left behind a very confused and moritified Corre.

Millie sighed in relieve as she finally got home. She opened the door quietly and just as silently shut and locked it behind her. It was a nice place, a small house just outside town. A one bedroom, one bath ranch house, that had access to town yet was far enough away for privicy. It was a little run down, but Millie was working on fixing that. already it looked a world better than before.

'Meow'

A stray black cat which she had named Mr. Keroneko jumped onto the kitcken table. The small cat had a mind of its own and had already decided this house was his house.

Millie sighed as she once again shooed him off the table.

She was much to soft hearted to kick the cat on the streets like his former owners had. But she would be damned if he could walk over the table she ate on whenever he wanted.

Millie sat down at said table and took out paper and a pen.

Dear Meryl and Mr. Vash Peace.

How are you doing today? I got your letter the other day. I'm sorry that you haven't found Mr. Knives yet but I'm sure you will soon. I'm happy though that married life is agreeing with you both so well. I know that you wanted me to come with you and all. But really, its better that I get on with my life. Its no fun being the third wheel, and getting in the way of love birds. I know you wouldn't mind…but I would.

So please stop asking for me to join you. Its really difficult to say no, especially since I miss you both so much. But this is for the best.

Guess what? My Little Big sister Angila had the baby…and as you probably guessed it was a boy. Papa nearly had a fit, but was proud anyway since she named the baby Luke, after him. I feel really bad for Papa, he wants a granddaughter so badly.

I'm sure one of us will give her to him soon. He is doing so much better. He's almost fully recovered and now Momma is regulating his diet to prevent a second stroke. It looks like he's going to live forever afterall.

Lets see what else is there to say.

I'm thinking about quiteing my job. I know Meryl, it's a stupid thing to do. But I really don't enjoy my work at all. And my co-workers…they said some things today about you and Mr. Vash. I just don't think I can work with them anymore.

I was thinking of getting another job like the one I took while Mr. Vash was healing. Phyical labor does wonders for the mind and body. I was thinking, maybe me getting sick is because I'm not going outside as much as I used to. Maybe I just need some fresh air.

I'm sorry to say that, no Meryl I'm not feeling better right now. In fact, and I hate to tell you this because it will make you worry, but I passed out at work today.

And before you ask, yes I have set up an appointment at the doctors. I seriously don't think its anything really. I'm just not sleeping well and that's making me feel bad during the day. I'm sure that in no time at all I'll be as bright as rain soon.

Well I got to go, that damn cat (I did tell you about him didn't I?) is getting hair all over my nice clean laudry.

Your best friend

Millie Thomson.

Millie quickly shooed the cat off her laudry before the damage got to bad and then folded up the letter. She wasn't sure if she was actually going to send it. It did have a lot of things in it that Meryl would worry about. So maybe she would edit it before sending it out. Meryl afterall didn't need anything more to worry about.

"KeroNeko, Meryl's married to a wanted outlaw and their traveling to find his killer brother. I would say that she has enough problems without bothering her with somethings that probably just a cold."

Millie allowed herself to plop down on the couch. The noon heat made her cozy little home a little more than comfortably hot, although it was still better than going outside. After a moment the black cat jumped onto her lap and curled up in a little purring furball. Dispite the pain of having a pet, it was at times like this that it made it worthwhile. KeroNeko's purring was such a soft gentle and relaxing sound that Millie found herself drifting to sleep.

***************

Millie opened her eyes, blinking slightly at the sun above her.

What the? Where am I? I'm definitly not at home?

She sat up and gasped. Her mouth hung open wide as she looked around her. Green…as far as the eye could see. Green soft grass…she was lying on it.

Millie took the moment to run her hand over the plants. They felt so soft with just a hint of moisture touching their green stems. Millie twisted around taking in her suroundings. A little ways behind her were tree's. Tall and magnificent tree's. Not like the water starved and heat tortured tree's she had seen at Geo-plants. These tree's looked so heathly and so lush.

"Where am I?"

Millie said as she watched a yellow and white butterfly flutter by her.

"Is this a dream?"

Millie leaned back again, using the soft grass as a custion. The single sun over her head was soft and warm, nothing like the harsh suns she had known.

The sky was blue though…the same blue she had always known.

This is heaven. It has to be. Such a beautiful place can't really exsit.

"I never noticed before, but your really handsome under here."

"You think so Rem?"

Millie blinked and sat up.

Rem…Vash spoke of her. This is some weird dream.

Standing up Millie made her way toward the voices. What she saw confused her.

Two young boys, both wearing blue pajama's of some kind were sitting quietly as a woman with long black hair cut one of the boys hair.

Both boys had blonde hair…and…

Vash?

Millie thought confused.

This couldn't be…but the boy did look like him. Only a lot younger than Vash was now. This kid couldn't have been more than 10 years old at least.

Or younger…didn't Knives tell me once that in two years they were full grown?

Millie watched as the woman, who had to be Rem, put the boys hair up. Millie reconized Vash for sure then. There was no way to mistake that spiky head. He even had the same beauty mark under his eye.

If that's Vash this other boy must be Knives…I guess.

Millie turned and watched the other boy.

"Hello."

She said uncertainly. She wasn't sure if this dream would interact with her. So far none of the three people had reacted to her.

The boy ignored her, or more likely didn't hear her. He just stared hard a red apple in his hand. He seemed to be thinking really hard. He also seemed really upset.

"Who are you? Are you the one that screamed?"

Millie startled as the young Knives turned toward her. He held the apple tightly as he rested his arm on his upraised knee.

"Ya, you screamed. I could hear you, you know."

"You could?"

The boy snickered meanly and looked away. He stared out at the wilderness surrounding them.

"I don't like you. Why won't you leave me alone!?"

"What? I don't understand. How could you hear me? I didn't even scream out loud?"

the boy glared at her long and hard. Millie found the look slightly uncomfortable and shifted from foot to foot.

"Are you really that stupid?"

The boy suddenly chucked the apple violently at her. Millie gasped and ducked as the missle flew harmlessly over her head.

"Hey!"

"I LIKED IT BETTER WITHOUT YOU! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME JUST HATE YOU!?"

"I don't understand."

Millie said backing up from the enraged child. He was actually kind of creepy the way his face twisted like that.

"I was better off before I met you. I had a plan. I would make Eden for me and my brother. We would live happily forever together."

The young Knives glanced over at Rem and Vash. They were still talking and didn't seem to notice Knives or Millie at all.

"But he…he doesn't want that. Vash would rather honor the memory of a dead human than live with me. I hate him! I hate HER!"

Knives cut himself off suddenly seemingly confused at the vemon in his own words.

With a deep sigh he looked down at the apple laying at Millie's feet. He was still angry and very bitter. Millie swallowed hard not sure what to say to this.

What do you say to a dream child of Knives anyway?

"I just want to make that hell we live on look like this."

The child Knives gestured out toward the beautiful landscape. His face slowly drained of the last of its rage and was instead very sad looking. Millie blinked as for the first time she truly saw the Knives she knew in that face.

"I destoryed this place. I killed her."

Knives pointed to the black haired woman.

"And I made my brother cry. I'm no better than Steve. He used to make Vash cry too."

The child Knives wipped his nose with his sleeve and sniffled loudly. Millie had never seen Knives cry and was suddenly choked up. She didn't care if this was a dream or not. This little child was baring his soul to her. How could she not feel for him.

"I didn't mean for that to happen. For Rem to die, or to make Vash sad. I just wanted to, just wanted…I don't remember what I wanted."

Knives was sobbing openly now. Millie took a few steps toward him and gently lowered herself down.

Knives suddenly twisted around so that he was facing her. Millie gasped as he leaned forward on his knee's, placing his face only inches from her own.

"Do I make you sad?"

Millie still unbalanced by how close he was to her was taken aback by the question.

"No…"

She said automatically and without thought. She then swallowed and actually thought the question over. Did Knvies make her sad? Ever since she had known him her world had been turned upside down. Nothing was the same as before, not her life and not her feelings. She was rather sad, but was Knives really the reason?

Knives smiled sadly as he leaned back and sat down.

"Yes I do. I made you cry too once."

Knives chuckled lightly, but there was no humor in that sound.

"I can't touch anything without destroying it. Isn't that what you told me once?"

"Knives…I…"

"No…"

The child Knives held up his hand to stop her words.

"What you said is true. I accept that. I accept that I made Vash cry, that I made you cry. I accept that I destoryed this beautiful place…and killed that woman over there. I am sad over these thing…but I won't let that stop me now. I have a plan. A greater goal. I won't be swayed by emotions this time!"

Knives smiled and Millie found herself being somewhat unnerved again. That smile was just plain creepy on a kid.

"Knives?"

The woman Rem turned slightly at some prompting. She smiled warmly at him and gestured toward the chair. Vash jumped up happily with ethusisam that only a child could have.

"Its your turn brother."

The child Knives just shook his head and stood up. He made no motion to go and sit in the chair.

"Yes brother…it is my turn."

Millie…

Knives spoke in his mind softly. He curled up tighter bringing his blanket around his shoulders and concooning himself in the warmth.

I had another dream Rem. Another about Millie. When will this stop? When will I forget her?

Knives shut his eyes from the thin streams of sunlight that was coming in his room from the window. He should have closed the shutters before he went to bed. At the time though the suns were merly lighting his room and weren't glaring on him. He hadn't given it thought at the time.

Knives face scowled at the window as if his discomfort was somehow its fault.

Is this our curse Rem? No creature is perfect, not even my kind. I know this. So is this our weakness. The obssessive and utterly crazied attachment to some human female that somehow touches us. Vash with you…and now…this mirrored with myself and Millie.

Knives sat up. He didn't feel that tired anymore. He hadn't really in the first place. He only wanted the cool forgetfulness of sleep. Or at least that what he had planned on.

Instead he had another one of those crazy dreams.

Well, at least dreaming of Millie is better than,,, The dark place.

Knives shuddered as he remembered that place that had haunted his dreams since he could remember. He hated that place. So dark and cold. There was no one there, there was nothing there. It was so empty, and silent.

He had to admit he would rather dream of Millie than that place.

Rubbing his arm to get rid of the goosebumps Knives stood up and closed the shutter on the window. Instantly he room was thrown into darkness.

Knives hissed to himself as the weight of that gloom pressed down on him.

This was to much like his dreams for comfort.

I'd rather have those damn suns glaring in my eyes.

So with an annoyed grunt he reopened said shutters and glared at them for good measure.

Knives glanced out the window at the sandy lanscape flying by and wondering when the steamer would stop. He had overheard some crew members saying they had to stop to pick up more passengers and some supplies.

The town was called Hope. Knives had never heard of it, but from what he gathered he wasn't surprised. Hope was a very small and totally dead end town. It wouldn't have even been on the maps if for the fact the sand steamers usually stopped there to do just what they were doing.

Hope.

He wondered what kind of human named such a waste of space that. Did the namer dream that someday that little place would grow? Grow dispite the fact they did't have a plant to suck dry. No town got large without a plant. It was simply impossible to get the resources they needed without one.

Millie would like the name. She would see some kind of symbolism in that name.

"DAMN IT!"

Knive shouted out in frustration as his thoughts once again rested on a brown haired and blue eyes girl.

Blue eyes…a few shades lighter than the sky.

"Its nothing but lust. Only lust."

Knives chanted to himself as he sat on his bed again. He ignored all other voices in his head asking questions and down right denying that statement.

It was only lust. He knew that. there was nothing else it could be.

But…if its lust why don't I dream of full filling that lust. I do dream about Millie but all we do is talk. Why…then, if its only lust.

Knives hissed and forcable slammed that thought out of his head.

Instead he thought about what he was going to be doing in a few short weeks. After all the years he had been waiting, a few weeks felt like nothing.

Soon, very soon the human race would be gone. It would be just him and Vash…

But if you do this you'll kill Millie.

Knives froze in mid thought. Ummm he hadn't thought about that before.

He had tried to kill Millie once a long time ago. He had been unable to do it. Would he be able to kill her now. It would be different this time, since the death wouldn't be face to face. Perhaps he could kill her that way, if he didn't have to look at her face while she died. But the thought of hurting Millie…the very thought made him sick to his stomach. He felt like he was going to lose his hastily eaten lunch. A huge knot formed in his middle and refused to go away.

Knives actually figited on his bed as he mulled over his options. He hadn't thought about Millie's fate when he let loose the ultimate weapon.

I wonder where she is? Is she with my brother still?

After a moment of thought the truth rain down on his mind like a brick.

The truth was…he simply could not kill Millie. He could do nothing to physically harm her. So…where did that leave him? He could unlease his ultimate weapon on the humans without killing Millie.

I'll have to find her. She will survive while the rest of the humans perish. She may hate me forever for this but at least she'll be alive.

Knives nodded to himself happy with the compromise. He would take his weakness and nullify it. The humans would still die and Millie would live.

But first he had to find where Millie was.

Knives closed his eyes and consintrated. He wasn't sure if he brother would be able to hear him, but it was worth a try. After all Millie might even be with him now.

Brother…

Knives smiled as he felt his brother nearly freak out over the contact.

Knives? Where the hell are you? What are you doing? What do you want? And what the hell did you do to Millie to make her so sad???

A stream of questions and images flooded Knives mind. It took him a moment to sort through it all. As always his brothers mind was a chatic places filled with conflicting images and thoughts. It was amazing that the baka was still sane after all these years.

One thing did strike out at him.

Millie's sad?

Knives didn't like the sound of that…or the images that his brother was sending him of a frowning and downcast Millie. That wasn't his Millie. His Millie would never be brought down by him…she was always smiling.

He shook his head and forced himself the ignore the images. He had questions to ask.

'Brother, are those human females still following you?'

'Uh? Why?'

'Answer the question.'

'Meryl still with me.'

'And the tall one?'

Knive felt his body stiffen as he waited for the answer. If Millie was indeed with his brother, getting her away would be difficult. But at least he would know where she was. On the other hand it wouldn't be hard to find her if she wasn't with him.

So either way it really didn't matter.

'No she's not. Why? What are you planning? You better leave her alone!'

Knives was able to pick up a name of the town Millie was in…Colo. No doubt his brother hadn't mention to let it slip but he did.

Knives allowed a small laugh the go through the connection. He felt his brothers uneasiness with that laugh.

'be warned Brother…enjoy your humans while you can. I'm not waiting for you this time.'

'WHAT! Brother please, don't kill anyone. Please I BEG YOU!'

'I will meet you where Millie is. Make sure to bring your human pet if you wish her to survive.'

Knives cut the connect disappointed and disturbed by his brothers begging. He would never understand why his brother loved all the spiders.

Granted he had learned that maybe a few might be worthwhile (like Millie) but on the whole they needed to be killed.

"I will create Eden finally, and Millie…and my brothers wench will be the only humans that will survive to see it."

Knives didn't know why he suddenly decided to spare his brothers woman. But perhaps it was only to be fair. After all he could hardly save Millie and be selfish enough to deny his brother that Meryl girl.

Knives leaned back on his bed, crossing his arms behind his head.

Just the thought of seeing Millie again made him feel good. Although she would undoubtably be angry at him, he had no doubt after a few years she would come around. After all it would just be them four on this planet.

She would get over it, just as Vash would. They would all live together peacefully in the Eden they were going to create.

His dream would finally come true.