Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Compromise ❯ Conflict ( Chapter 2 )

Compromise: Chapter 2

Author Ramble: *Dances* You tolerate me! You really tolerate me! Thanks to the people who read and reviewed Chapter one...it made me happy to get such a good response ^o^ Tra la la...*Ahem* I found it interesting that more than one person said they weren't into twincest, but they liked the fic anyway *grins* I'll convert you yet, oh ho ho ^o^ As for people's specific comments, Marin2x1 said that Knives was a bit OOC at times, which I can see is true if you compare him to how he acts in the anime. However, in the anime we rarely see how he acts when he's alone with Vash (and when they're adults), which I think is very different from the psycho genocidal Knives we're used to. Vash isn't the only one who can exhibit multiple personalities ^_^ Also, Knives doesn't see his urges for Vash as being something human; rather, he views it as another part of their bond as Plants. And if it seems unrealistic for Knives to whisper sweet nothings in Vash's ear, think of the fact that at that time, he hadn't gotten laid in 120 years...I'm pretty sure he'd be willing to do just about anything to get Vash into the sack at that point ^_^ Anyway, I hope I cleared some stuff up in my lame attempt to cover my own ass. If anyone else sees something that doesn't "jive" with them, tell me in your reviews or e-mails and I'll try to address it to your satisfaction (and if the thing that doesn't jive is the twincest, then you shouldn't be reading this fic. That's your problem, not mine). Anyway, enough of this stuff...fic-ward, ho!

Disclaimer: *Nightow-sensei appears in the middle of the stage* All characters in this fan-fic belong to me, not the psycho yaoi fan-girl who's writing this stuff...oh, my beautiful characters, why must she disgrace them so? Why, oh why must the fan-girls slash all my babies together pointlessly? Can't they just leave them alone in peace?! *Nightow-sensei is pulled off the stage sobbing* Spazz: Uhh, you heard him...characters not mine.

Chapter completed: 2002.06.15

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Compromise

Chapter 2: Conflict

Author: Sailorspazz (sailorspazz@yahoo.com)

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Vash awoke with a groan the next day. He felt like every muscle in his body was sore, right down to his prosthetic left arm. Of course, that was to be expected after the wild night he'd spent with Knives.

He rolled onto his back from his previous position of being draped half on top of Knives. Staring up at the ceiling, he let out a sigh. He wasn't really sure what to think about what had happened between the two of them the night before. It had probably been the best night of his life, both emotionally and physically. Much like their first time together, the two of them had had sex all night long. The main difference, of course, was that this time they had known what the hell they were doing.

At first, their love making had been incredibly desperate, as they'd both wanted so badly just to once again feel the sensations that their coming together brought. As the night wore on, though, they slowed down and took time to revel in their most intimate moments. They had both been extremely emotionally unstable at first; there were times when tears would stream down both of their cheeks without either one knowing why. After awhile, though, they managed to get fully in tune with each other again and were able to enjoy the feeling of being joined together into one being again after decades of separation. The two of them could achieve emotional orgasms at the moment when they were in absolute perfect union, which had happened countless times that night. Even though the experience was nearly as draining as a physical orgasm, the two of them had continued their love making until the first of the twin suns rose up over the horizon.

Vash hissed with pain as he tried to sit up. If he was hurting this badly, he couldn't even imagine what Knives must have been feeling. Even though pain actually felt good to them while they were having sex, it was just the same as any other pain afterward. It could actually be quite dangerous for them. As a result of physically exerting himself too much, Knives had begun bleeding heavily from his gunshot wounds during their love making. However, he hadn't even noticed because he had felt no discomfort whatsoever. When his bandages became completely soaked with blood, the two of them decided he should rest and let Vash take over being dominant. Vash couldn't help but smirk as he recalled this. Because of Knives' insistence on always being the dominant one when they were younger, Vash had rarely had the chance to be in control of their love making. Now, however, Vash had a feeling things were going to change. Given that Vash had defeated Knives in their battle, Knives really couldn't claim to be completely dominant anymore. Vash grinned to himself and licked his lips. Oh, yes, he had a feeling he was going to very much enjoy living with Knives again.

The part of his mind that had been all but silenced the night before suddenly reared its ugly head again. 'This is your brother you're talking about! How can you even think things like that?' Vash buried his face in his hands. Even though he'd been able to forget about the conflict in his mind when he was with Knives the night before, that didn't mean the problem wasn't still there. There truly was a "human" part of his mind that had developed over the years, and it wasn't like he could just get rid of it now that Knives was back in his life. Or that he even wanted to get rid of it. No one was more important to him than Knives, but that didn't mean everyone else didn't matter at all.

When they had first landed on Gunsmoke, Vash had learned to become content depending only on Knives, as Knives wouldn't allow him to come in contact with any of the humans they crossed. Since they'd been separated, though, Vash had come to depend on humans for companionship. Plants were generally not a very social species, so Vash had needed to develop human social skills (he'd begun to do so on the SEEDS ship, but forgot most of what he knew after spending over a decade alone with Knives). Learning human social skills meant learning human morals, and so the part of his mind that allowed him to be understanding of human beings was the same part that made him feel guilty and awkward about the type of relationship he shared with Knives. He wasn't sure how he could properly explain this problem to Knives, as Knives would surely use it as evidence that humans were hindering their relationship and therefore were even more deserving of being wiped out. He wanted Knives to eventually embrace mankind, and it didn't help that right from the start there were several roadblocks in the way that were directly related to humans.

Vash was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard voices coming from the living room. Judging from the positioning of the shadows in the room, it was about noon, so Meryl and Milly were probably home for lunch. Seeing as how Knives was still asleep, Vash eased himself out of bed and slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt. Trying not to grimace as he walked, he forced a grin onto his face as he exited the room and headed down the hallway to the living room. "Hello, girls."

"Hi, Mr. Vash," Milly said with a smile as she turned towards him. Her eyes widened a bit as she caught a glimpse at him. "Mr. Vash, are you feeling all right?"

"Huh?" Vash realized that he should have checked himself out in a mirror before coming out to greet the girls, as he probably looked like hell. Instead, he found himself standing in front of the girls with huge bags under his eyes, his hair frizzed out and pointing in every direction, and dried blood on his hands courtesy of Knives' injuries (he knew he also had a fairly large number of hickies on his body, but prayed that his clothes were concealing that fact). "Uhh, I'm fine. I was just up really late last night. Knives and I were...catching up on some things."

Meryl seemed to tense up just at the mention of Knives' name. "Speaking of Knives, are we...going to be meeting him soon?" She was obviously trying to play it strong and confident, but there was still a slight tremor in her voice.

"Uhh, you mean now? Knives isn't really a morning person..."

"It's 12:30 in the afternoon."

"Oh yeah, that's right," Vash said with a laugh. "Well, he's still asleep, and I don't think he'd enjoy being woken up before he's ready." 'Especially if he'd have to meet a pair of humans as soon as he gets up,' Vash added mentally.

Meryl looked relieved. "Well, I guess it's a good thing I decided not to wake you two up this morning while I was preparing to go to work."

Vash nodded, but not only because Knives would have been pissed off if a human had come in to wake him after only a couple hours of sleep; there was also the fact that the two of them had been so exhausted when they finished making love that they hadn't even bothered to do so much as cover themselves with a sheet before they fell asleep. If Meryl had come in and seen them lying naked in bed together, Vash would have had a lot of explaining to do. "So, what's for lunch today?" Vash asked, trying to get his mind off of that particular scenario.

"Let's see...I brought some salmon sandwiches from the restaurant," Meryl said, pulling a small paper sack out from a larger one. "I brought some extra ones, in case Knives wanted any...I guess we can save them for later."

Vash nodded, not wanting to bring up the fact that Knives might not want to eat any food that humans prepared for him. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be hungry when he wakes up." Vash found himself drooling as he stared at the food. "Of course, I'm hungry now, so I might just have to tell him later, 'sorry, dear brother, you snooze, you lose!'" Vash began scarfing down the sandwiches as Meryl and Milly looked on laughing with sweatdrops on their heads.

About an hour later, Meryl and Milly left to get back to their jobs. Vash decided to go back to his room to see if Knives was awake yet. Sure enough, as soon as he opened the door, he saw his sullen looking twin sitting up in bed. "Good morning, sleepy head."

"Vash, it's well into the afternoon."

Vash sat down on the bed. "Yeah, well, you know what I meant. Did you sleep well?"

Knives took in Vash's appearance. "Apparently a lot better than you did. You look like hell."

"Gee, thanks so much."

Knives smirked. "Was it too much for you?"

Vash felt a blush spread across his face and began twiddling his thumbs. "No, it's not that. I just didn't get as much sleep as usual because we were up so late."

Vash's reaction only brought more questions to Knives' mind. "What are you blushing for? You're acting like we did something wrong."

Vash lowered his head. "Well, Knives, to tell you the truth, I still have...reservations about the kind of relationship we share."

"Still? What the hell is wrong with you, Vash?!" Knives yelled, looking exasperated. He calmed himself down a bit before speaking again. "Surely after what happened last night you must realize how fulfilling our relationship can be when we just do what is natural to us. Tell me, Vash, why do you want to hinder our happiness?"

"It's not like I'm choosing to feel this way, Knives."

Knives got a disgusted look on his face. "So, the humans have got you so far brainwashed that you believe in their ideals above your own instincts? You're pathetic, Vash."

There was a long pause as both silently seethed. Vash knew it was impossible for Knives to understand his dilemma, but he still wished he would at least try to accept the fact the Vash was struggling with his feelings instead of just yelling at him about things he had no control over. It really got his blood boiling when Knives accused him of actually wanting to cause problems between them.

It seems their argument had gotten Knives' blood boiling, too, only in the more literal sense. His bandages were showing some fresh red stains seeping through the encrusted dried blood. Vash sighed. No matter how angry Knives made him, his brother's health was of the utmost importance. "Come on, Knives. Let's get you cleaned up. You're bleeding all over the sheets."

Knives gave Vash a glare that clearly said, 'this isn't over,' but he obliged and let Vash help him to his feet. He gasped and nearly passed out from pain when he stood, but Vash supported him and they started making their way towards the bathroom across the hall from their room. Knives struggled with every movement, trying to rely on his own strength rather than Vash's. However, his injuries and the fact that he hadn't moved much in the last few days were working against him, and he really didn't have all that much energy to use. The result was a painful struggle that left him grunting and whimpering with every step.

Despite all the things Knives had done to him, Vash couldn't stand seeing his brother in so much pain. "Knives, are you sure you don't want me to carry you?"

"I'll be fine," Knives said through gritted teeth, looking up and blinking hard as he tried to hold back tears of pain.

It took them five minutes to reach the bathroom going at Knives' pace. Vash lowered his brother into the bathtub, turned on the water, and began carefully unwrapping his bandages. "Well, your injuries look better, but they're still bleeding a lot. I'd say you'll need to keep wearing bandages for at least another week."

Knives simply nodded as he relaxed in the warm water. Once the tub was filled almost to the top, Vash grabbed a washcloth and soap and began gently bathing Knives. Though Knives would have preferred to do it by himself, he was still drained from just walking to the bathroom, so he didn't protest. The feel of Vash's hands caressing his body was almost enough to make him forget about the argument they'd started...almost. "So, Vash, about your little 'problem'..."

Vash looked to the ceiling and threw up his hands. "Knives, can we please just forget about it for now? I really don't feel like talking about this."

"Too bad. I do," Knives said with a defiant glare. "How is it that you're so much under the control of humans that you can't even act on your true feelings without guilt?"

"First of all, this has nothing to do with humans having 'control' over me. It's just that I've spent so much time living among them compared to the time I've spent with you that I'm used to acting the way they do. It's not like I can just forget everything I've learned from them just because you're with me again."

"I'm sure I can make you forget. There must be some kind of surgery I could perform that would block out selected memories, or your 'human side,' as you call it. I mean, if humans can be brain surgeons, it can't really be all that hard."

Vash's eyes grew to the same size as the little black cat he often saw around. He knew his brother was crazy, and that he probably was as well, but he'd never heard him suggest something so ludicrous before. "Knives, there is no way I'm letting you perform experimental brain surgery on me!" Vash calmed down and allowed his voice to become softer. "Besides, I don't want to forget. I have several human friends now, and I don't want to lose them."

"So, they're more important to you than I am?" Knives scoffed.

"No, I want to keep my relationships with them, as well as the one I have with you."

Knives laughed humorlessly. "So, after all this time, you still want to save both the spider and the butterfly?" He shook his head in distaste. "I don't get your logic at all, Vash."

Vash looked down. "Well, I don't understand your logic, either, Knives," he said softly.

"I don't know how it can be explained more clearly. In order to save the butterfly--"

"No, I'm not talking about that," Vash interrupted.

When Vash didn't say anything for awhile, Knives spoke up curiously. "Then what are you talking about?"

Vash was silent for a few moments longer, then looked up, his eyes gleaming with unfallen tears. "I don't understand why you had to hurt me so much."

Knives looked somewhat confused. "What do you mean?"

Vash took in a deep breath to steady himself. "I don't understand why you felt you needed to make me suffer to get your way. I know you wanted me to realize the pain of human life, but...I just can't imagine how anyone could stand to intentionally cause pain to someone they love. I mean, I would never do that to you...how could you do it to me?" Vash trailed off into quiet sobs as Knives sat stunned into shocked silence. He didn't know what to say to Vash. He desperately wanted to comfort his little brother, but it was difficult to do so when Vash was crying about things that he had done to him.

Vash eventually regained his composure, taking in a final jagged breath and releasing it slowly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Vash continued bathing Knives, who sat in contemplative silence. Finally, Knives spoke up in a quiet voice. "It's not like I enjoyed hurting you. I was using it as a last resort because you wouldn't listen to reason."

Vash was about to get angry at the fact that Knives was trying to turn it around to be his fault, but he could detect a tinge of guilt in his brother's voice, so he decided to hear him out.

"I never actually wanted to see you in pain, Vash. It was just supposed to be means to an end. I was hoping that when we met again, you would have realized that I was right, and when that happened, you would have understood that the pain was necessary in making you come around."

"So you thought all of my suffering would just magically disappear?" Vash asked, sounding more hostile than he'd intended.

Knives looked down. "That was my hope. But that obviously hasn't happened."

"And it's not going to, Knives. I will never forget the pain you've caused me." Vash's voice took on a more gentle tone. "However, I am willing to forgive you if you can answer me this one question: Do you regret what you did to me?" Vash knew he might be asking too much, as Knives had never once apologized for anything. However, the fact that he'd heard guilt in Knives' voice earlier gave him hope that, even if it was only one time, he could get Knives to admit that he had been in the wrong.

After a long pause, Knives took in a deep breath. "Well, if things had turned out the way I wanted them to, I'm sure this wouldn't be a problem." When he saw Vash giving him a look that said 'stop stalling,' he continued. "But, since it turns out all I did was cause you pain, I..." Knives closed his eyes, taking another deep breath. "I'm...sorry for making you suffer when nothing came out of it in the end."

Vash was slightly shocked at Knives' apology. He'd just been expecting him to say he regretted what he'd done and let the apology be implied, but to Vash's amazement, he'd actually voiced it. Vash grinned as tears of happiness formed in his eyes. "I forgive you, Knives." Vash leaned over the edge of the bathtub and wrapped his arms around Knives. Vash now carried more hope than ever that things were going to work out with Knives. If he could get him to apologize for the first time in his life within a day of his awakening, he could only imagine how much more he could do to help Knives improve. His brother had taken a huge step forward, and Vash was sure that more would follow soon. He believed he was going to have Knives accepting mankind much more quickly than he would have ever imagined possible.

Suddenly, Knives summoned strength from god knows where and pulled a fully clothed Vash down into the tub with him. Vash gasped and was about to scold Knives, but got cut off by a fiery kiss. Vash moaned with delight. He wasn't sure where this sudden showing of affection was coming from, but he had no reason to complain, either, so he kissed Knives back with a passion. It's not like it was all that unusual to them, anyway; during their travels when they were younger, their relationship was always ricocheting between different extremes. They could go from screams of anger to screams of desire in almost no time at all. So it actually made sense for their relationship to continue being that way.

Just as it was getting so intense that Vash could barely stand it anymore, a gentle knock sounded at the door. Vash and Knives both froze. "Mr. Vash? Are you in there?" It was Meryl.

"Uhh, yes I am," Vash said, hurriedly climbing out of the tub and over to the door. "Do you need something?" Vash said as he opened the door and slipped out into the hallway, shutting the door quickly behind him.

"Yes, as a matter of--" Meryl did a double take. "Mr. Vash, you're soaking wet! And you're getting the floor all wet."

Vash laughed and put his hands on his hips in one of his regular silly poses. "Yeah, I fell into the tub while Knives was taking a bath. I'm so clumsy, da ha ha ha!" He could almost feel Knives rolling his eyes all the way out in the hallway. "I'll clean up the water later. Now, what is it that you need?"

Meryl cleared her throat. "I accidentally left my apron here when I came home for lunch, and my boss at the diner won't let me work unless I'm wearing the whole uniform. He says customers won't come into a restaurant where not all the girls are dressed up as cutely as they can be, the old pervert." Meryl clenched her fist. Vash sweatdropped, as he was sure the poor old guy had probably gotten clobbered. "But I do need that job while we're staying in this village, so I need you to help me find it, because I can't remember where I put it."

"Sure, I'll help you find it." He thought it was unusual for a girl like her to just forget part of her uniform, but he would help her out nonetheless.

Meryl smiled at him. "Thank you."

Vash had noticed that Meryl had been acting different lately. He'd known for awhile that she'd had a crush on him--perhaps even before she herself had realized it--and it seemed she was finally starting to accept her growing feelings for him. Unfortunately, Vash couldn't honestly say he felt the same way about her. Sure, there had been times when he'd thought about getting together with her, but he'd ultimately decided that they'd make better friends than lovers. And now that Knives was back in the picture, Meryl didn't really have a ghost of a chance. However, there wasn't really any easy way for Vash to let her know that. After all, it would be pretty awkward for him and embarrassing for her if he just came out of nowhere and said, 'Hey, I know you've got a crush on me, and I'm just gonna tell you right now that it's not gonna work out. So, what's for dinner?' Of course, it's not like the other options were any better, such as him rejecting her if she finally made a move on him, or, even worse, telling her the complete truth: 'Gee, I'd love to try something with you, but I'm sleeping with my brother.' 'Oh yeah, that'd go over really well,' Vash thought sarcastically. He entered the living room and spotted Meryl's apron on the couch. "Found it!"

"Thank you, Mr. Vash. Sorry for troubling you."

"It was no trouble at all. See ya later!" Vash called out as she left. He sighed as he headed back towards the bathroom. The best case scenario would be that Meryl would eventually lose interest in him and he wouldn't have to explain anything. Vash decided to just let things play out, and hopefully a non-embarrassing conclusion would come about naturally.

"Are you done playing with your human?" Knives said icily as Vash reentered the bathroom, obviously no longer in an amorous mood.

"Knives, stop overreacting. She just needed me to help her find something," Vash said, picking up the washcloth again.

"Who's overreacting? She's obviously got it bad for you," Knives said, looking at Vash suspiciously.

"She's allowed to have her feelings. That doesn't mean I have to return them. Now stop acting so jealous."

"Hn. I have every right to be jealous whenever you're paying attention to humans rather than me."

Vash simply shook his head as he drained the water from the tub. "Come here. Let me dry you off," Vash said, holding a towel. Knives complied as Vash dried him off and began dressing his wounds. "So, how likely is it that you'll be up to meeting the girls tonight?" Vash asked casually.

"Not a chance in hell."

Vash was beginning to notice a pattern concerning Knives' response to that particular question. "You know, Knives, you can't put it off forever. One of these days I'm going to force you to meet them whether you're ready or not."

Knives smirked. "I'd like to see you try."

Vash finished wrapping up Knives' wounds and began helping him back to the bedroom in silence. He'd been so sure after hearing him apologize that Knives was willing to change, but now all of a sudden he was resisting every suggestion that Vash made. 'No, I can't let that discourage me,' Vash thought to himself. 'I can't expect him to change completely over night. This is going to take some hard work, but we can do it.' They had cleared one hurdle already, Vash reminded himself, but they still had quite a few more to go before the race was complete.

To be continued...

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Woo hoo, chapter 2 is in the can! It took me a bit longer than expected...not as long as my usual wait between chapters, but I was hoping I could whip through this fic a lot faster than usual, not just marginally faster. But, alas, I had school, which included a couple major projects and finals within the last couple weeks...OK, that's almost a complete lie :P True, I had projects, but, being the complete procrastinator that I am, I did both of the projects I had the whole term to work on within the last two days of their due dates. And about finals, pah, I barely ever study, so that didn't take much of my time. The real reason for the delay is Dance Dance Revolution. Pathetic, but true :P I got DDR Konamix for my birthday and I absolutely had to play until I unlocked all the songs...and sure enough, a week later I had all 20 hidden songs unlocked and had passed all the songs at the basic level (a couple at the trick level, as well). But that's not all! Within the last week, I've gotten late night cravings for "old skool" DDR (word!). On both Tuesday and Wednesday nights, I was happily listening to some J-pop (apparently, Da Pump and Two-Mix both trigger DDR cravings) when I suddenly thought, "Dude, I need to play "El Ritmo Tropical" and try to beat the expert level!" (I'm not sure who 'dude' refers to, as only I was there...). So there I was, DDRing (is that a word? Oh well :P) at 2:00 a.m. Man, I came so close the first night...I failed within the last few beats :P I did, however, beat "La Senorita" at the expert level, even though it's harder...Umm, OK, I think there was supposed to be a point in here somewhere, but I've forgotten what it was. I'm not obsessed with DDR, dammit! You can't prove anything! *Begins choreographing a DDR dance to the opening theme song from Excel Saga, which has been stuck in my head since YESTERDAY* Sore wa ai ja naaaaai *cough sputter hack*

Whew, OK, I've left the lunacy of the previous paragraph in hopes that I will now write with some semblance of sanity. The reason this part is coming out today is because I'm leaving for a weeklong vacation in Kona, Hawaii tomorrow. Since this part has already been delayed enough (see previous paragraph), I decided to get it out before I left...which, since I'm a procrastinator with everything and not just school projects, means I've spent most of today in front of the computer. As you can see above, doing this tends to...well, bring out my insanity. But fear not! Super Spazz has been subdued ("The hell I have!") and hopefully ("DDR RoXX0rs!") she will not ("Tonzura koite~~~") escape. *The personality formerly and presently known as Super Spazz whacks regular Spazz with a DDR mat* Da ha ha! I am returned! And I will now give you the next episode preview! On the next exciting episode of CoMpRoMiSe: There will be much sweet man lovin'. And the yaoi fan-girls will rejoice. Hurrah! *Runs with scissors* See ya next time! And always forget, me rikey da ranning wisu skizaaaaaas! */insanity*