Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ Mizerable ❯ Chapter 1

I pretended not to notice; And stared far out the small window. The angel's voice spreading in the sky; Was embraced by the wind.

 

The blond head was thrown back, pleasure running through his entire body. He moaned, clutching the sheets beneath him in fisted hands. The man behind him held his hips still, pounding into the smaller body. The thrusts became more erratic and with a few more thrusts forward, the man shuddered, exploding within the tight canal.

 

Pulling back, he pushed the thin man onto the bed. Joining him, he wrapped an arm around the thin shoulders and whispered a soft, “Good night,” before falling into sleep.

 

Blue eyes filled with tears as he fought to keep from weeping. He snuggled as close as he could to the nearly sleeping form behind him and closed his own eyes. Almost as quickly as his erection had risen, it was just as quickly deflating. Sighing he took a deep breath and whispered, “G'night. I love you, Ashura.”

 

*

 

With the start of a new semester, Fai D. Flowright found himself dreading each approaching second. He loved to be with his roommate, Li Ashura. He was the school's most popular student. Everyone knew about, admired, or wanted Ashura. He was beautiful, powerful, popular, and caring. At least, that's how most people saw him. To his lover, his roommate who shared his room and his bed, he saw a different side.

 

Fai D. Flowright was Ashura's lover. But he was only kind to Fai when they were having sex. And as much as Fai enjoyed that side of Ashura, he wanted to have more with the beautiful, popular man. He wanted to enjoy the intimacy that lover's shared. He didn't want to just be a sex-toy used by Ashura.

 

Because they shared a dorm-room in the school, Ashura and Fai and the seven hundred other students would be moving in a week before classes. Next week, they would be starting classes. Fai hated move-in week the most. Living in an orphanage meant he didn't always have the best of things. He didn't want for anything; he just didn't have the best. He lacked some of the fancy decorative things the other students brought.

 

His freshman year had been awful. The other kids had found out very quickly that Fai was an orphan. And as is so often true with the young, they were quick to torment him. Fai spent his first semester in hell. His thin wrists bore the scars of his torment, his desire to end it all.

 

That was when Ashura had come into his life. The very beautiful man had found him bleeding in the showers, his wrists torn up. He'd nearly died. For some unknown reason at the time, Ashura had deemed it important enough to save the waif of a blond. In secret, he carried Fai to the nurse's office and he was immediately treated. He was saved by Ashura and upon Ashura's request; Fai was given a room with his beautiful savior.

 

He'd been warned that if he tried to cut his wrists again, he would be returned to the orphanage and sent to public high school. He didn't want that. He just wanted to go to school, away from the orphanage he grew up in. Agreeing not to take his life, he was moved into Ashura's room and into Ashura's protection. Once he'd moved in with Ashura, the people who had bullied, teased and tormented were a lot less offensive.

 

And then he discovered the truth about Ashura. It was late, and Fai had been sitting in a corner of the room, hugging his knees. There were tears on his face as he tried to get over the pain of the bullying. He wanted to die. People were still occasionally very cruel to him: tripping him, beating him in the hallways and writing him rude, disgusting, offending notes.

 

Ashura had returned to their room earlier than normal, intent on having his way with somebody. When he'd opened the door, Fai had tried so hard to wipe his tears away. Ashura had already seen him at his weakest; he didn't need to see his tears to.

 

“Fai? What's wrong?” Ashura asked softly, kneeling by the tearful blond.

 

“Nothing. Everything's fine.”

 

“Then why are you crying?”

“I just got something in my eyes,” Fai smiled.

 

“You know Fai,” Ashura whispered softly. “You are a very pretty boy.”

 

“Thank you,” Fai smiled, blushing.

 

“Do you mind if I kiss you?”

 

“Kiss me?” Fai asked softly.

 

“That's right. I just want to kiss you,” Ashura murmured, bracing his hands on Fai's thin shoulders.

 

“I-I've never been kissed before.”

 

“Let me be your first,” Ashura smiled.

 

“O-okay.”

 

Closing his stunning blue eyes, he waited as Ashura leaned in and pressed their lips together. Holding his hand against Fai's neck, he leaned in, deepening their kiss. Without waiting permission, he forced his tongue into Fai's mouth, searching the warm cavern. When Ashura dropped a large hand to Fai's thin waist, the blond started, breaking their kiss.

 

“What are you doing?” Fai asked, nearly shrieking in his incredulous shock.

 

“I've watched you and wanted you since school started. When I found you bleeding in the shower, I was afraid you were dead. When I found out you weren't going to die, I was thrilled. And when they told me you were going to stay in my room, with me, I nearly cheered. I've wanted you for so long, I could hardly contain myself.”

 

“Why didn't you help me before I tried to kill myself?” Fai asked desperately.

 

“Because I had no idea how bad it was. I didn't know how much you suffered until I found you in the showers.”

 

“Why me?”

 

“Because you are beautiful. You are perfect and beautiful and delicate and I can't help but want you.”

 

“Me?” Fai asked softly, so softly it was almost as though he were begging for the other to reassure him it was true.

 

“You,” Ashura whispered, pressing his lips to Fai's once more.

 

That night, Ashura took Fai's virginity and his heart.

 

Their first year, his sophomore year started off nicely. Their first semester: Ashura had cuddled, whispered kindly into his ears, and taught him about his body. Their second semester: Ashura had returned from the winter break and his kind, loving attention had gone away. He smiled, talked to Fai and no longer made love to him. He had sex. Ashura would just get himself off, no longer caring if Fai did too. And he couldn't stroke himself while Ashura had his way with him; the man was too rough with him.

 

Next week, classes would start and Fai would be able to pretend Ashura's inattentiveness was due to class work.

 

It was lunchtime and Fai's stomach was rumbling. Leaving the empty room, he headed to the small cafeteria reserved for the juniors. In their school, it was divided into separate classed. Underclassmen interacted with upperclassmen when tutoring was instituted, and that was it. Fai was going to be tutoring this year. He would be tutoring in both English and in Chinese. He was best at foreign languages. He was walking quickly to the cafeteria, eager to avoid anyone else. He almost made it to the cafeteria without meeting anyone until he ran right into a new student.

 

A tall, brutally handsome new student. He didn't have the delicate body that Ashura had, but he was beautiful in a tough, testosterone-thick way.

 

“Watch where you're going,” he growled.

 

“Sorry,” Fai, whispered, blushing as he realized he had been staring. He couldn't help it though. The man was beautiful and impressive and absolutely delicious. He was tall and stocky and the tank he wore made his large arms look absolutely larger. Bowing his head, he walked around the boy and into the junior's cafeteria.

 

“You're just going to walk right in without asking me to join you?” he asked angrily.

 

“You're a junior?”

“Just transferred here from the United States,” he growled. “What's your name?”

 

“I'm Fai D. Flowright. You?” Fai asked, gesturing for the tall boy to accompany him into the cafeteria.

 

“Kurogane. Shirasaki Kurogane,” he answered, leading into the cafeteria. “Are you from around here?”

Apparently. Why'd you move to Japan instead of staying in the United States?” Fai asked.

 

“I'm Japanese. I moved back home to be with my oji-san. My oji-san is really sick and he's a priest. He won't leave his temple to go to a home,” Kurogane laughed.

 

“I'm sorry. I hope he gets better soon,” Fai smiled. He moved quickly through the line, grabbing a sandwich and some juice. “Join me in the back?” Fai asked softly.

 

“Love to,” Kurogane smiled. Following the thin blond, he glanced around the small, nearly empty cafeteria. “Not many people around here.”

 

“Not many eat at noon when school's not in session. Everything here is very loose. Except for classes. You have to do good in classes or you'll be in a lot of trouble.”

 

“Another question, do you stay out here all school year?”

“Some people go home on the weekends. Most go home for holidays. Some people do stay all school year.”

 

“What about you??” Kurogane asked, around his sandwich.

 

“I stay all year,” Fai whispered, looking away from the table.

 

“Where are you from?”

“Tokyo.”

 

“You don't talk a lot do you?”

“I prefer not,” Fai murmured.

 

“Fai!” Ashura called, patting his hand on Fai's thin shoulders.

“Ashura, meet Kurogane,” Fai whispered softly. He bowed his blond head and folded his hands in his lap.

 

“Yo,” Kurogane nodded. “Nice to meet you.”

 

Flashing the brilliant smile he was known for, he say beside his blond lover and took a thin hand in his own. “Li Ashura,” he nodded to Kurogane. Turning his attention to Fai, he asked, “Did you finish moving into the room yet?”

“Yeah. I'm all moved in now. Thanks for the sheets,” Fai whispered.

 

“No problem,” Ashura smiled, pecking Fai on the cheek lightly.

 

“So you two an item?” Kurogane asked.

 

“Yes we are. Do you have an issue with that?”

“Nope. Just hoping you don't get too jealous if I hang out with Fai here a little more. He's the first person I've met here and I'd like to be his friend.”

 

“Fai's a grown boy. He can make his own friends.”

 

“Excuse me, I don't feel very good,” Fai interrupted softly.

 

“Of course, go lay down and I'll come check on you as soon as I finish lunch,” Ashura smiled, kissing Fai's head delicately.

 

“Nice to meet you, Kurogane.”

 

The ruggedly handsome Kurogane smiled and waved as Fai left the cafeteria.

 

*

 

Why? Why was Ashura only nice when they were having sex? The display of affection, the posturing before Kurogane was nice. But he really wanted it all the time. Was it so bad to want Ashura to treat him with affection when he wasn't showing off or getting off?

 

Wrapping his long arms around himself, he hurried to his room, eager to hide away from his lover. His lover, he knew he wasn't faithful, but expected faithfulness. He knew, he knew all about Ashura's rampant desires. When he went home on the weekends and holidays, he visited women. Fai had found the remnants and female's phone numbers. And during school, he would spend nights in classmate's dorm rooms. Why couldn't Fai have any luck in life, in love, or in friends?

 

Shutting himself in their room, Fai moved into his corner, hiding away. Hugging his knees to his chest, he bowed his head and fought the whimper that rose in his throat. He tried to contain the shiver of fear in his heart, the pain that filled him. He longed to be free of Ashura, grateful though he was to Ashura's saving of his life.

 

Squeezing his eyes against Ashura's explosion into the room, Fai waited for the tirade to begin again.

 

I have to say that I don't own Gackt or the song “Mizerable,” even though I really wish I did… Also, I don't own any of the characters from Clamp. That includes the Tsubasa ones I'm using now and the ones I am going to be exploiting later on.