Tsubasa Chronicle Fan Fiction ❯ Tsubasa: Revolutions ❯ The Other Side of Nightmares ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter 7: The Other Side of Nightmares

 

 

The cool rocks feel good against my skin. And if I close my eyes, the world doesn't seem to spin. How can I be feeling this way in a dream that is not my own, in a world where nightmares do not exist? I can only come to the conclusion that this - the way I feel - is not a dream. My fever. My sickness. It's real.

 

And I don't know how to wake from it.

 

“So?” I hear Kurogane's gruff voice above me.

 

“So?” my voice seems to echo.

 

“What are you going to do now?”

 

“What does Kuro-chan want me to do?” I can hear me taunt him. Still playing my silly games.

 

Our conversation has long turned from mermaids and escape…but all I can do now is listen. The voices now muffled. Distant. Even though I know they are just a few short feet away.

 

I don't know what to do.

 

How can anyone save me when I am invisible and trapped in a world that isn't real?

 

“I want you to do stop running away,” the sounds of his deep voice echoes gently through the cavern. It seems to be my only comfort right now.

 

“I'm not running.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”

 

I… I don't hear what I say to him after that. I can hear sounds. Muffled voices. Lower. Higher. His. Mine. They continue to talk above me but I don't know what they say. Just mumbles and murmurs as though I am trying to listen to them beneath the water.

 

What will happen to me if I lose consciousness in this world? How I'm I supposed to get back.

 

I want to wake up.

 

Wake up!

 

Wake up Fai!

 

But I can't.

 

I am still here in this dream. In this dark, damp cave.

 

I don't know what else to do. I don't even know what I'm doing now, but I crawl to where Kurogane and my dream self sit, face to face and closer than we have ever been back in our waking lives.

 

I reach out. And touch the arm before me, identical to my own.

 

I am you. Please let me…

 

“Fai!” his voice rings loudly in my head.

 

Blurry eyed I find myself looking up at him. My head in his lap. His hands in my hair. I must have fainted. But the Fai of his imagination is… gone.

 

“What's wrong?”

 

“I'm sorry Kurogane,” I murmur. The words feel awkward on my tongue, like trying to talk with peanut better in your mouth.

 

“What…?”

 

He can hear me now.

 

“I'm sorry. But I can't wake up.” I tell him. I don't know what else to say, and he looks very confused. Not that I can blame him. “I didn't want to ruin your dream. Will you come find me when you wake up?”

 

His black eyebrows furrow, and he looks at me with eyes I have never seen before. He is concerned. Worried. About… me.

 

I want to cry.

 

It is within an instant that my head lands uncomfortably on cold, hard… tile? The long, dark hallway of mirrors stretches infinitely in both directions and there is no more damp caverns and black water, or warm hands cradling my head. I've been thrown out of his dream. Because he is no longer here. He has waken up now. And I am left here in this endless hallway of imaginations.

 

He is going to be so very angry…

 

I don't know how long I laid there in that hallway, drifting in an out of consciousness and restless, dreamless sleep. But now, here I lay amidst a pill of a dozen red silk pillows and I can feel a small warm hand locked with one of my own.

 

“Fai-san?” Sakura's voice touches my ears.

 

I shift my head to look at her and am met with watery, red eyes. I wonder how long she has been crying.

 

“Good morning Sakura-chan,” I say weakly. It's light out, so I assume that it's morning.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

“I'm fine Sakura-chan. Don't worry.”

 

She doesn't say another word. She just shakes her head and bursts into tears again, burring her face in the sheets at my side.

 

Surely it isn't that bad…

 

I hear a shuffle from nearby and see Syaoran come up behind her and place a cautious, comforting hand on her shoulder. He looks at me with his serious eyes and says, “You've been out for almost three days. And now with Kurogane-san…” his voice trails off and his eyes fall to the floor. “We have been very worried about you Fai-san. But we don't really know what to do now.”

 

What!? What is he talking about. “What about Kurogane?”

 

“He's gone,” another voice interjects and I feel the bed on the other side of me shift slightly before I see Monagan sitting beside me.

 

“Gone?!” I can hardly form the word.

 

“Unfortunately, my sister is very unforgiving when it comes to… “ he doesn't finish his sentence. “I can't blame him for what he did. I'd have done it too…”

 

“What are you talking about?” I shake my head. Nothing they are saying is making sense. Have I really made him this mad that he would leave us? That he would leave the children? I don't understand. “What do you mean he is gone?”

 

“To the other side,” Syaoran explains. “Where people go when they do something to disturb peace here.”

 

My head feels like it is going to explode right now.

 

“What…”

 

“The night you came up here with me, he must have woken up to find you missing,” Monagan begins to explain. “It was still pretty early in the morning when he broke down my door. That was what woke me up. But we couldn't wake you up. Because…”

 

His eyes fall to his lap, “Because I made you drink from me, it made you sick. Your system must have gone into shock while you were sleeping. Your fever was so bad we thought you were going to die…”

 

“It's all my fault really. I'm so sorry Fai,” I feel his hand land gently on my shoulder. “Kurogane knew it too. And he got… so mad. He had every right to. So when I couldn't wake you up, he punched me.”

 

But in a world created by his sister, set to protect Monagan from any harm… Kurogane was banished from here the moment he tried to hurt him.

 

This is not good.

 

“Are you feeling any better now?” he looks down at me with concerned sky blue eyes.

 

Well, better I suppose. “Yeah,” I smile up at him, and over to Sakura and Syaoran as well. I doubt they buy it though.

 

“Can I get you anything Fai-san?” Sakura looks up at me, squeezing my hand.

 

“Not now Sakura-chan. Thank you.”

 

I cannot tell her that I am thirsty. I cannot say that the one thing I need is not something that they can give to me.

 

“I'll leave you to rest now,” Monagan smiles sadly before shifting again. The sounds of his boots clicking on the marble floor echoes pleasantly though the room.

 

“Would you like us to leave?” Syaoran asks not a moment later.

 

“No. You are fine,” I shake my head and close my eyes.

 

Maybe… maybe I am still dreaming?

 

“Are you sure you alright Fai-san?” Sakura asks again.

 

“Hai, Sakura-chan. Just sleepy,” I lie. Though only partially, I still am a bit sleepy.

 

Has it really been three days?

 

“I'll leave you to rest then. I hope it is alright. We thought it was best to leave you here. You're still in Monagan-sama's room.”

 

“It's fine. It's quite comfortable. Have you been sleeping alright Sakura-chan?”

 

“No,” Syaoran says before she has time to answer. “She's hardly slept at all.”

 

I smile softly at her and squeeze her hand. “Come here.”

 

She looks at me with confused eyes.

 

“Let's get some rest and we will talk about this later,” I say.

 

With her free hand, she wipes at her eyes before standing up, only to crawl onto the bed beside me. She curls up instinctively at my side, tucking her head beneath my chin.

 

I would tell myself once that I hated things coming to this. Hated this closeness. This trust. I feared so deeply that it was just false illusions of happiness, like a balloon floating along on the breeze just waiting to burst and become nothing.

 

But that perhaps is my biggest lie of all.

 

Because the truth is…

 

I love her.

 

I love her, and Syaoran and Mokona. And Kurogane.

 

I love them all.

 

They have become so dear to me that the pain of seeing them hurt, or sad, hurts me far deeper than any wound I could ever bare. It was not what I had wanted. I had wanted to escape from everything. They were only supposed to be the means in which to do so.

 

But if loving them is my fate… I will accept it.

 

I see Syaoran smile at me, his lips form the silent words, “Thank you,” before he turns to walk away. And I smile in return. It is a sad, sleepy smile; but it is real.

 

I am glad that at least Syaoran was here beside her. If not me, if not Kurogane, Syaoran will keep her safe.

 

It is dusk when I wake again. The light outside is a violent, beautiful purple I didn't know was even possible for a sky to be. Sakura-chan is still sleeping, though she has managed to roll clear to the other side of the bed. She always tosses in her sleep.

 

A new companion is at my side though, culled up on the pillow beside my head.

 

Mokona.

 

“Moko-chan? I whisper quietly. “If you can hear me, I would like to speak with Yuuko-san.”

 

It is only an instant before the lovely witch's face projected onto the ceiling above me, smiling in her usual manor.

 

“Fai-kun?!” she greets me. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Never better,” I lie. I know she'll catch the sarcasm.

 

“I'm sure,” she giggles. “Have you learned your lesson?”

 

“Quite,” I nod. “But I do have a favor to ask.”

 

“You want to get Kurogane back?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You should be able to do that on your own, I would think.”

 

“How?”

 

“Retrieve the feathers, and everything will be back to normal, Fai-kun,” she says like it should be just a simple as that. “Or you could always visit him yourself. You're never going to get better if you don't see him soon, after all.”

 

“But how would we get back to this world?”

 

“The place you are in is perfectly safe. You should be fine to leave the children there while you go by yourself. If you really want to fix things, and show him you're sorry, you would be smart to keep them protected. Those children are more than capable now to solve this world on their own. You should really be more concerned with the other side anyway.”

 

“How do I get there?”

 

“There will be a price, if I tell you. Though you should be able to figure it out on your own.”

 

“Hurt someone?”

 

“Yes. But there is another way as well,” she smiles mischievously. “If you would rather not cause anyone harm...”

 

“How?”

 

“The girl who holds this world together through her dreams fears only two things: the death of her brother, and any creature that she would classify as a monster. Goblins. Trolls. Werewolves…”

 

“Vampires?”

 

“I'm sure she could be persuaded to fear them as well.”

 

“How do I do that?”

 

“Quite easily,” Yuuko smiles again, “Simply tell her that is what you are. Announce that you are a `monster.'”

 

Thanks for rubbing it in… but I smile at her anyway. “Now?”

 

“She will hear you clearest if you stand at her side. She has not been there for a very long time but she is always listening,” she takes a long puff on her pipe before grinning, “When you are reunited with Mokona and the others, that is when I will ask for your payment.”

 

“Which is what?”

 

“I want a lock of hair from each of the twin dragons,” she giggles.

 

“Twin dragons?”

 

“One of them is on the other side still, so you could not possibly pay me now.”

 

“And the other?”

 

“You will learn who they are for yourself, very soon,” she says with a shrug, adjusting the sleeve of her crimson kimono. “And Fai-kun. Please be careful. Kurogane is going to be fine over there. It is you I'm worried about.”

 

“I can handle myself, Yuuko-san.”

 

“As long as you get something to eat soon,” she taunts me. “Bye bye!”

 

I could get up and leave right now. A time not so long ago, I would have. Without a word, I'd have just vanished. I don't want for anyone to worry or fret over me needlessly, but I at least owe them an explanation. So I'll let her sleep until morning and go.

 

Slowly, I push myself into a sitting position. I feel as though I have been dropped on my head, kicked repeatedly and then left to starve for an entire month. And guess what!? I can't eat!

 

I blame Kurogane for this.

 

A lot.

 

Stupid Kurogane…

 

I hope he's alright.

 

I'm trying not to think of where he is right now. And where I'm about to go -some unknown layer of hell I assume. Though I suppose this place is as well, in its own twisted way. Nothing is real here it seems. Some sort of happy, innocent dream. And now I get to visit the nightmare on the other side. How exciting…

 

Standing seems to be a bit of a challenge. My legs don't really want to listen to what I'm telling them to do. But I don't want to lay here anymore. And I'm going to have to do this eventually. I decide my first journey is going to be to the window.

 

Monagan's room has a beautiful view, high in the palace towers and overlooking the vast, seemingly unending forest below. I wonder where he is now. Something tells me he's left again. King Ienyn mentioned once that he came and went from the palace quite often and I get the feeling that he blames himself for what happened. I'd like to tell him that he shouldn't, but I don't know that I will get the chance to.

 

I don't know if I will ever see him again.

 

Time passes slowly when you are stuck alone and waiting. But I don't feel much like exploring, so I wander about the room investigating the various oddities I find.

 

There are a lot of swords in here. I've never really known much about swords, except that they are sharp and pointy - these ones seem to be quite so. And very shiny. They look a lot different from the ones that Kurogane usually uses.

Monagan for some reason didn't strike me as the sort to collect art, but there are dozens of painted scrolls with beautiful paintings just stored in boxes, hiding from the world. They're a little weird, and a bit scary though, so I can see why. And although art wasn't something I thought he'd have been interested in, an interest in books was something I saw coming. His room is full of them.

 

I have nothing better to do, and one called, “The Rising of the Kinkîyan Empire,” sounds fun...

 

I get maybe twenty pages in before I find myself waking up on the couch in the sunlight to Sakura walking about the room, tossing pillows back onto the bed.

 

“Good morning Fai-san!” she says happily. “I didn't wake you did I?”

 

“No Sakura-chan, I was just resting my eyes,” I lie with a smile.

 

She is used to my harmless lies so she doesn't even blink an eye before says with her usual smile, “Breakfast is going to be ready soon. Will you come down?”

 

“Sure,” I shrug. I don't have anything else to do now anyway. Plus it will be a good time to tell them I'm leaving.

 

I slip into some clothes that Sakura-chan brings to me; all black velvet and lace with golden buttons and buckles, I find it oddly archaic in design. But very lovely.

 

Syaoran is already sitting at the table. As is King Ienyn. They get maybe four bites in before Sakura of all people looks up at me and says, “You're going away… aren't you Fai-san?”

 

“Yes, Sakura-chan. But only for a bit.”

 

She is sitting at my side and so it is easy for her to reach over and grab my hand, “I don't want Fai-san to go without me.”

 

She is such a sweet girl. But I will not allow her to come. Not to where I have to go.

 

“No Sakura-chan. You need to stay here with Syaoran-kun and get your feather back.”

 

“What if I can't?”

 

“You can Sakura-chan. If anyone can waken that girl's heart and show her the way back, it is you. That will be the only way to fix this world.”

 

“And… the only way to bring you back to me once you leave.”

“Hai. But I'm not worried about that.”

 

“But you're sick. What if something bad happens to you?”

 

“I have to…” there are other people present. Maybe I should choose my words a little more wisely. “I only will get worse if I do not find him.”

 

That is not why I'm going. But she will not argue with me when I lay it for her like that.

 

She squeezes my hand gently again and giggles slightly. “You both put up such faces to show that you don't really care. But your actions betray the both of you, you know.”

 

“I know,” I say, for some stupid reason.

 

“I think it's good though,” she smiles. “Because I don't want you to be lonely anymore Fai-san.”

 

We hardly speak throughout the rest of the breakfast. But before we stand to leave the table, I look to King Ienyn and ask, “Will you look after them for us, while we are away.”

 

I do not know why I speak for Kurogane as well.

 

“I had every intention of doing so,” he smiles and nods. “But can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Are you sure you want to go?”

 

“I don't have much of a choice in the moment. Unfortunately, I do not know how long I can last on my own. And while I trust Sakura-chan will be able to retrieve her feather, I would rather her not worry that my life hangs in the fact that she must do so. And besides, with Kurogane and I on the other side, we can look for the second feather. Two birds and one stone, they say.”

 

“The feather will be in the possession of a young man named Sarûs,” Ienyn says flatly. “He will not give it up lightly.”

 

“Well then I suppose I have a challenge ahead of me,” I say with a grin.

 

“Good luck,” he nods. “And I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon.”

 

“I'm sure.”

He leaves us so that I may say goodbye to the kids.

 

They walk with me until we reach the large double doors we were brought to the day we first arrived here. For some reason that seems so long ago, even though it's only really been a few days.

 

“Annabelle-san's room?” Sakura asks confused. “Why are we here.”

 

“I didn't want to have to hurt anyone to get where I am going, so I am trying another method.”

 

Both her and Syaoran's eyes are blank and bemused, just waiting for my explanation.

 

“I'm not sure what will happen, but I'm sure you could come in if you like,” I say, my fingers lingering over the door handles.

 

Should I have packed anything?

 

I really have no idea what I am about to get myself into.

 

Neither of them say anything, but they follow me as I enter the room. The same strange purple light fills the chamber, like the last few moments of light on a summer day. Warm. Brief. Mysterious.

 

“Annabelle-chan,” I stand at the foot of her bed, looking down at her lovely doll-like face surrounded by mountains of black curls. “I am sorry to tell you that there is a monster in your world.”

 

“Fai-san?!” I hear Sakura say almost angrily.

 

I ignore her.

 

“I am a vampire Annabelle-chan. One who lives of the blood of others. Allowing me to stay here could cause the untimely death of one of your subjects. I have come to turn myself in to prevent this from happening.”

 

“Fai-san!?” she says again.

 

“It is my wish to be sent away with the rest of the monsters, Annabelle-chan.”

 

“Fai-san!?” I hear her scream now. Though… it sounded so faint.

 

So distant.

 

The room is fading all around me. The walls, the paintings, the chairs and vases full of flowers. Sakura and Syaoran are all but shadows now.

 

“Good luck,” I say to them before they disappear altogether.

 

I don't know if they can hear me anymore.

 

Everything is fading.

 

Washing away.

 

The soft purple light of the room dims into black.

 

Darkness.

 

The journey to the Banished World does not take long at all. And is much easier to get to than I had hardly anticipated.

 

I wish that I didn't feel like I had been kicked in the head. Or so hungry I was about to go cross-eyed. Though I suppose I would have to have two eyes for that, wouldn't I?

 

I don't know how well I express how much I enjoy visiting new worlds. Every time, just before you arrive, the butterflies in your stomach go so wild you feel they're going to fly out of your ears. You wonder, what kind of world will this be. Will it be a hot world? Will it be cold? Will the people be friendly? Will they be in the middle of a raging war? Will there be flying cars? Will there be jungles? Magic? Strange creatures? You wonder what you will learn. Who you will meet.

 

This is the first time I have ever gone to a world knowing what was ahead.

 

And it makes me almost even more nervous. Because I know that it is not somewhere I want to be.

 

It is almost odd to feel a chilled wind on my face. Grey clouds threatening rain grumble over head and what little sky is visible is lit red with the flames of a powerful sunset. The tall trees around me trying desperately to hold on to their leaves as the wind whips them through the air, creating an oddly mysterious, beautiful noise my ears actually welcome.

 

I've arrived seemingly in the middle of no where. Or at least not somewhere overly populated.

 

Lights from small houses glow in the distance, and as the sky darkens more become visible, like stars to guide me.

 

Hey. Wasn't it morning just a moment ago?

 

I don't know where else to go, so I head for the houses. I wish I could eat something. Anything.

 

But I've learned my lesson in that department.

 

I am not looking forward to greeting Kurogane. At all. He's already furious I'm sure, and even though it is my fault, he'll blame it all on me.

 

I didn't make him punch anyone though…

 

But honestly, what am I supposed to say to him? “Sorry about you getting banished to the other world. Can I have something to eat?”

 

I have never asked him that.

 

I had sworn I never would.

 

Right now though, I think I may drink from him until he passes right out. Maybe that will tech him to control his temper and be a little nicer.

 

But what am I saying?

 

Food? It doesn't really matter.

 

I would gladly die if he said I couldn't have any.

 

What I'm here for. Why I came to this world… was to tell him that I am sorry.

 

I don't know how long I walked, but the soft grassy ground I had been on has become the hard ground of a well packed dirt road. Following it seems to be the best thing I can think of to do.

 

I guess I didn't really think about how I was supposed to actually FIND Kurogane once I got here. He's already gotten a three day head start on me. The only real things I know about this world is that it is the place everything Annabelle thought was “bad” was sent here, and that it is likely ran or ruled over by a man named Sarûs.

 

When we first met the children, Kurogane had said he wanted nothing to do with the finding of the feathers. After time, it became obvious to us all that his opinion on that had changed. Now, in every world, that is always our priority. It's almost habit now. We live, we breath, we sleep, we eat, we find Sakura's feathers.

 

I doubt Kurogane had learned anything else about this place during our stay on the other side, but I know he's smart enough to know there is a feather over here as well.

 

Whether he'll see it as a personal challenge, or maybe just something to do because we hardly know anything else anymore… I can only assume that where Sarûs is I will find Kurogane.

 

How hard can it be to find a man who rules a world?