Twilight Fan Fiction / Twilight Fan Fiction ❯ Twilight IM ❯ Twilight IM ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Alice: OMGitsme

Jasper: Confed_Soldier

Edward: PillowBiter

Bella: NewVampGrl

Renesmee: ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES

Jacob: ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES (red text)

Carlisle: Whtihave2ptupwith

Emmett: Teddibear

OMGitsme signed on

…

Confed_Soldier signed on

OMGitsme: HI JASPER!

Confed_Soldier: O.o

OMGitsme: LET'S GO SHOPPING!

PillowBiter signed on

Confed_Soldier: U threw out half my wardrobe, I dun have a choice.

PillowBiter: Do I want to know?

OMGitsme: EDWARD LETS GO SHOPPING!

Confed_Soldier: Nice sn.

PillowBiter: …?

PillowBiter: Dang it, Bella. -.-

OMGitsme: *Laughs* Thts amazing, wht'd u do this time?

PillowBiter: Don't you know?

OMGitsme: Oh ya… EDWARD!

PillowBiter: o.o

OMGitsme: UR HORRIBLE!

PillowBiter: I don't wanna talk about it.

OMGitsme: I didn't wanna see tht!

PillowBiter: To be honest, neither did I.

Confed_Soldier: Im tellin her you said tht.

Confed_Soldier has logged off

PillowBiter: NO!

PillowBiter: Gosh dammit…

OMGitsme: *Laughs*

OMGitsme: This is gonna b funny.

NewVampGrl signed on

Confed_Soldier signed on

OMGitsme: HI BELLA! *In hysterics*

PillowBiter: *Hides*

Confed_Soldier: Edward, somebody wants to talk to you……

NewVampGrl: ur dead

OMGitsme: Ur sooo observant.

Confed_Soldier: Go Bella.

PillowBiter: Uh, hi…honey. How's Florida?

OMGitsme: And Bella says…

NewVampGrl: DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

OMGitsme: CORRECT! Next question: whts the capital of the moon?

PillowBiter: We didn't even start on a subject!

Confed_Soldier: Oh hang on I know this one…

OMGitsme: U will, just wait.

NewVampGrl: ;_; U dun like me?

OMGitsme: See, I told ya. ^^

PillowBiter: Honey, I didn't say that!

Confed_Soldier: Alice, I give up. Whts the answer?

OMGitsme: The answer was 22 cups of sugar. NEXT QUESTION!

OMGitsme: What is Edward gonna say in 3 seconds?

PillowBiter: Bella? You're still here, aren't you?

OMGitsme: WRONG! Loser. Next question!

Confed_Soldier: Was he gonna say `Im gay'?

OMGitsme: That sounds good 2 me.

PillowBiter: I AM NOT GAY!

NewVampGrl: WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ANYMORE?!

PillowBiter: Nice going, guys.

OMGitsme: No problemo. Next question!

OMGitsme: What's Renesmee gonna do in the next 5 seconds?

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES signed on

Confed_Soldier: Sign on.

OMGitsme: Cheater!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: HI DADDY! I wuv u mommy!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: The wolfie is typin this.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: He says hi bloodsucker…?

PillowBiter: I'm going to kill him.

NewVampGrl: Hi baby! Edward, STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: The wolfie is happy mommy and daddy is fightin.

OMGitsme: And now, this one's for Jacob: What is Edward thinkin right…NOW!

Confed_Soldier: Why cant I guess? ;_;

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: … how wuld I know

OMGitsme: Just guess!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: sumthin along the lines of `gr'.

PillowBiter: You have no imagination.

OMGitsme: Close enough!

Confed_Soldier: I got the feeling that Edwards was a little wordier.

Confed_Soldier: Omg, thts a word.

PillowBiter: ADD, Jasper. Jeez.

Confed_Soldier: Dun make me break the piano.

PillowBiter: DON'T TOUCH MY PIANO! I WILL RIP YOU UP!

OMGitsme: Oh, too late, sorry Edward.

Confed_Soldier logged off [again]

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: The wolfie is laughin.

PillowBiter: Where did Bella go?

NewVampGrl: Sry, Quil was here.

PillowBiter: WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING THERE?!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Oh he is SO dead!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Daddy! You cusseded! The wolfie is mad.

Confed_Soldier signed on

OMGitsme: And Edward screws up in… 3, 2, 1:

PillowBiter: Why? Because I cusseded?

PillowBiter: Did I really just type that?

OMGitsme: *Laughs* ROFL.

Confed_Soldier: Nice, little brother.

OMGitsme: U really should have seen that coming.

PillowBiter: Only you see crap like that.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Daddy, you cusseded again!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: See, Nessie, u should come live with me.

NewVampGrl: MY DAUGHTER IS NOT THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Mommy, did you cusseded?

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: *Laughs*

PillowBiter: Don't wolves eat their own young?

OMGitsme: OMG I DROPPED THE SKITTLES!

Confed_Soldier: Why do u have skittles?

OMGitsme: I was openin `em for Nessie.

NewVampGrl: EDWARD!

PillowBiter: Isn't Nessie with Jacob?

OMGitsme: Oh, didn't I tell u? He's here.

PillowBiter: YOU LET THE WOLF IN THE HOUSE? He'll pee on the furniture!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: I wasn't goin too, but now that u mentin it….

PillowBiter: Learn to spell, you idiotic…mammal.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: That was the best u can come up with?

Confed_Soldier: Seriously, I can come up with sumthin better than tht.

OMGitsme: U will.

PillowBiter: My daughter is reading this.

NewVampGrl: U sure its urs?

PillowBiter: WHAT?!

NewVampGrl: JK, JK.

OMGitsme: And now Jasper says:

Confed_Soldier: I have no point here.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Then why dun u leave, u stoopid leech.

OMGitsme: And Jasper has an awesome response… *Laughs*

Confed_Soldier: You know what, wolf? U are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, morally apprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, and stupid; you have no taste in music, no sense of style, and you smell.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Be nice to wolfie.

PillowBiter: Oh.

PillowBiter: My.

PillowBiter: God.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: DADDY!

Confed_Soldier: *In high-pitched voice* Jeez, Daddy, you cusseded again.

PillowBiter: I know where you live.

Confed_Soldier: I don't live, stupid.

PillowBiter: I will hurt you.

Confed_Soldier, Ooh, yeah, frightened… -.-

Confed_Soldier: Bella's got my back on this one, too.

OMGitsme: And Bella drops the ball in…3, 2, 1…NOW!

NewVampGrl: Sry, Embry was over 2.

PillowBiter: x.x

OMGitsme: *Laughs* Edward's dead…again…AHAHAHAHA.

NewVampGrl: OH MY GOD! EDWARD! SOMEBODY CALL CARLISLE!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: No need, I'll fix him.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Why can't Daddy and the wolfie be nice?

Confed_Soldier: Bella, I think you gave Edward the vampire equivalent of a heart attack.

OMGitsme: Oh, just wait. It gets better.

Confed_Soldier: This is painful. ;_;

OMGitsme: AWW! *Goes to hug Jasper*

Confed_Soldier: Alice, Alice, what're you…? HEY!

Confed_Soldier logged off [again again]

Whtihave2ptupwith signed on

PillowBiter: X_X

Whtihave2ptupwith: What did you guys do to Edward?

OMGitsme: I didn't do nothin! I just saw it comin and didn't do nothin to stop it `cause it's amusin.

Whtihave2ptupwith: Didn't I teach you to type better than that?

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: I wanna kitty.

PillowBiter: o.o No. X_X

Whtihave2ptupwith: Emmett would probably eat it, dear.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: NO! *Crys*

OMGitsme: Emmett will not eat the kitty. (I will.) Let's get the kitty!

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: YAY! . . . WAIT…

Confed_Soldier signed on

Confed_Soldier: I have no words for what just happened to me…

OMGitsme: *Laughs demonically*

Whtihave2ptupwith: Alice, what did you do?

PillowBiter: o.o Does it really matter…? (You don't want to know. Nessie's here, don't type it.) X_X

NewVampGrl: EDWARD!!!

NewVampGrl logged off

PillowBiter: Oh dear God…

Confed_Soldier: Seems today is full of traumatic experiences.

OMGitsme: And now the best part:

PillowBiter: Uh, guys, I have to go… Bella's here. O.o'

PillowBiter logged off

OMGitsme: *Laughing* Jas, let's go watch.

Confed_Soldier: I'm good, thanks.

OMGitsme: Fine, I'll just go back to ur room, then.

Confed_Soldier: NO!

Confed_Soldier: Oh no, oh no… Guys, he-

Confed_Solder: Jazzy has to go. Bye bye!

Confed_Soldier logged off [for the fourth time]

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Whts goin on?

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: I don't even want to know.

Whtihave2ptupwith: I have the strangest children.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Well duh. They're bloodsuckers.

Whtihave2ptupwith: Hm…maybe I should try being a veterinarian. Hey, Jacob, come here. I need to practice.

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES: Oh God…

ZAFRINAHASPWETTYPITURES logged off

Whtihave2ptupwith logged off

Teddibear signed on

Teddibear: I'm lonely. ;_;

-End-