Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Senior Year ❯ Forever My Lum ( Chapter 29 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year: "Forever My Lum"
by Fred Herriot
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edited by E.B. Kushnir
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Twenty-fourth of a series of fan fiction stories based on "Urusei Yatsura,"
created by Rumiko Takahashi
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WRITER'S NOTES: Nothing complex in this story, save for the beginning of
events which will finally lead to, as many of you would be relieved to hear,
Ataru and Lum finally tying the knot. Stay tuned!
**** **** ****
Tomobiki, a week before Christmas.
With tension easing after the events of the previous story, Ataru and
Lum find themselves being gently pulled apart. After nearly raping her while
under the influence of the Fire-spirit elixir, he decided to temporarily give
Lum a breather by dating other women. Meanwhile, Lum decided to solve a
personal dilemma by dating the four members of Lum's bodyguards.
Lum's loyalty to Ataru has been constant, the flare-ups of the Second
Tag Race and the arrival of his first fiancee notwithstanding. Still, the Oni
found the attraction of her male classmates, especially the bodyguards, all
the more baffling. Yet there they were, four quite simple sorts whose loyalty
and lust for the Oni remained unabated despite the growing closeness between
Lum and her Darling. Finally, when the chance offered itself, she decided to
personally investigate this...and promptly regretted making that decision!
In homeroom class, the girls of class 3-4 gather around Ryuunosuke, who
had just dated Ataru. "You mean...he didn't do *anything*?!" Momoe gasps.
"Not a thing!" the tomboy shakes her head. "We went to the Pizza
Emporium, then saw a movie, went bowling and watched the stars!"
"I wish the idiots in this class were like him these days!" Kumiko
romantically sighs. "It would be *so* nice!!"
"I know!" Natsuko readily nods. "He took me to a volleyball game...and
he still wants to take me to the Japan-U.S. Volleyball Tournament in January!"
The girl's volleyball captain then twirls like a ballerina as she remembers
her date. "Oh, what a nice night that was!!"
As the girls chat, Shinobu, Mie and Lan listen in. "Why doesn't Darling
want to go out with me?!" the Seishin teen sighs.
"Because he wants women with *intelligence*!" the Kyushu native snorts.
"And I'm **not** intelligent?!!" Lan demands.
She finds herself being ignored, the other girls thoughtfully whistling.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!!!" Lan growls.
That comment elicits no response. Nearby, the boys gather around the
guards. "It was spectacular!" Megane beams. "Last night was the fulfillment
of a dream!! At least, I got to date Lum-san!!"
"We finally got our chance to break her away from Ataru!" Chibi rubs his
hands together, a conspiratorial smile crossing his face.
Paama and Kakugari dance a happy jig, singing "Happy Days Are Here
Again." One student is not impressed. "Idiots!" Mendou snorts. "I bet you
four made fools of yourselves!!"
The guards slam their hands on his desk. "Hah!!!" Megane barks. "Lum-
san enjoyed herself when she was in my company...which is more that she could
say if she dated a snob like you!!" he points at Mendou.
Mendou then leaps up, his katana clearing the scabbard. "Now, there
shall be **two** of you...!!" he growls, then stops. "Lum-san!"
Everyone looks as a sickened Lum makes her way to her desk, ignoring the
lustful stares from her male classmates. "Some date last night!" the Oni
snorts. "I had to keep beating your hands away!! The only man I'd allow to
touch me sexually is Darling!!! At least *he's* a gentleman!!" She then
icily glares at the guards. "Darling's going to be here today...and when I
tell him what you did to me, I hope the Cyborg tears you to ribbons!!"
With a humph, Lum strides to her seat and sits down. The guards look as
if their very manhood has been called into question. "He..." Megane snarls,
shuddering. "It's always him...!"
Before they could bellow, a sonic boom nearly blows them out the nearest
window! "***SIDDOWN, JERKS!!!!!!***" Koosei Ryooki roars as he strides in.
* * *
Sometime later, Ataru finds himself chained to the guard rail beside the
clock tower machinery. The bodyguards stand in triumph before him. "This
time, Ataru Moroboshi, you have lost!!!" Megane points at him. "We've shown
Lum-san what type of men we are...and she **likes** it!!!"
"You mean you proved what no-mind jerks you are?!" Ataru quips.
The guards faint! "Honestly, Aisuru, this is getting boring!!" Ataru
yawns. "You can't score because Lum doesn't want anything to do with you!
Why do you think I put that provision in our agreement in the first place?! I
**wanted** to bait you jerks into making fools of yourselves so that Lum would
realize what idiots you are and agree to live with me in Oshika!!"
"So," Megane's glasses glitter, "...you're still trying to drag Lum-san
against her will to your sin-pit, eh?!" He snaps his fingers. "It's time to
end your attempts at dominating our lives!! Sedoyama-kun!!!"
"Time for some fun!" Sedoyama walks up, cackling as he drops to his
knees, rips off Ataru's shoe and prepares to tickle-torture him. "Time for a
little of my patented Torture Number One...!!"
He stops, eyes wide on seeing Ataru's fingers pointed at the back of his
head. "I think it's time to let my *friend* out so **it** can discuss things
with you!!" he icily smiles.
The five boys quickly retreat...just as the door opens. "Ataru-kun!!"
Shinobu demands as she marches it.
"What do you want?!" he stares at his former girlfriend.
"What's this I hear about you dating other girls?!" she demands,
standing in front of him. "Don't I get any consideration?!!"
He looks sick. "Hah! Why should I give you any consideration anymore?"
Shinobu looks enraged. "I'll teach you some manners, you...!" she
snarls, leaning down to give Ataru the beating she feels he long deserves...
...then finds herself bashed into the side wall thanks to his foot! "To
hell with you, idiot!!!" Ataru snaps.
"Hey, Ataru, what're you doing here?!" Ryuunosuke demands as she enters.
Deciding he has had enough, Ataru shatters the guardrail. Standing, he
then trips Shinobu, sending her flying down the clock tower well!! "Ooops!!"
he gasps in mock surprise. "Clumsy me!!!"
Three stories below, Shinobu crashes into Lan! "Nuts!!" Ataru snaps his
fingers in an "aw, shucks!" gesture. "I almost had her!!!"
Suddenly, a tidal wave is heard! "***THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!***"
Ataru and Ryuunosuke leap clear as the wall of water crashes into the
tower, taking the guards and Sedoyama!! The tomboy's father surfs the wave,
his eyes producing a storm of tears. "Oh, the shame of it, Masako!!!" he
bellows. "My idiot *son* beats innocent girls!!! How shameful this is!!!"
The two teens watch as Fujinami disappears, quite confused. "Since when
was Miyaki ever innocent of anything?!" the former muses.
The door then bursts open, revealing Lan, an unconscious Shinobu hanging
over her shoulder. "WHO DID THAT?!?!?!" the Seishin teen demands.
"Nobody," Ataru shakes his head. "It was an accident!"
Shrugging Shinobu off her shoulder, Lan quickly switches to her cute
act. "Darling, why don't you go on a date with me?!"
"Why should I date a vindictive, bitchy airhead like you?!" he snorts.
Lan faints! "Looks like we were right all along!" Ryuunosuke howls with
mischevous merriment. "Ataru does prefer girls with *intelligence*!!"
"And neither of you qualify anymore!" Ataru icily glares at Lan and
Shinobu, then offers his arm to Ryuunosuke. "Shall we, my dear?"
"Lead on, MacDuff!" she slips her arm around his.
Before they could depart, another tidal wave crashes into them!! "What
type of **man** are you to date another man, Ryuunosuke?!!" Fujinami demands.
A second later, he flies out of the school! "I'M A GIRL!!!!!!"
"I'm on the Moon...!!!" he wails as he reaches escape velocity!
The bodyguards appear out of nowhere, lunging at Ataru with murder in
their eyes. "This time, Ataru, you will die!!!" Megane howls...
Twenty seconds later, the guards, Shinobu, Lan and Sedoyama find
themselves pounded into silly-putty on the front lawn of the school, having
been deposited there by the Kuromoroboshi ninjas!! Students playing outside
are taken quite aback by this sudden development. "Don't those dummies get
the idea by now?!!" Ryuunosuke shakes her head, clearly annoyed.
"No!!!" Ataru growls...
* * *
Later that evening, in Oshika, Ataru returns home. Lum has come up from
Tomobiki to visit, having heard about the ruckus in the clock tower from
Ryuunosuke. "Hi, Darling!" she smiles. "Welcome home!!"
Seeing the Oni whose presence has so altered his life, Ataru's lips
tremble, then he lets out a violent scream. "***WHY COULDN'T YOU BE A NICE,
NORMAL GIRL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!?!?!***" he bellows.
The Oni is nearly blasted through the living room by that outburst.
Ataru storms into his house, ignoring the shocked stares from his sister and
sister-in-law, then slams his room door shut. "What's with him?!!" Nokoko
fearfully points upstairs as Lum recovers.
"Oh...everyone gave him trouble in Tomobiki today," the Oni sighs.
"What else is new?" her Nendo-kata born sister muses...
* * *
"Is it safe?" Nokoko leans into Ataru's room.
Ataru looks up, then smiles. "Oh, c'mon in!" he waves her inside.
"So," his sister sits beside him. "What's got you on a tear today?!"
"Everything!" he groans. "Simply put, total chaos is the name of the
game at Tomobiki High School!"
"Oh, Ataru-chan, why do you still go down there?!" she looks sick. "The
only way you'll keep them off your back is if you don't show up for them to
start picking on you! Why'd you move out of there in the first place?!"
"True," he rubs his skull. "Ah, I'm also bugged 'cause Komeru-oji-chan
wants to start getting his wards engaged as soon as possible...and as usual,
he wants me to handle the omiai arrangements!"
"Oh, cute," she sighs. "Look, if you really want to start putting the
screws on those morons down there, threaten to not come down to Tomobiki
anymore. Lum'll get the hint and she won't stay around there as often...that
is until she graduates, then she'll permanently move here!"
Ataru looks relieved. "Oh, two months left to go!!" he sighs. "Still,
that won't solve the problem even if we got Lum away from Tomobiki!"
"Why not?!" Nokoko looks confused.
"I think the real problem is the *image* of Lum!" her brother muses.
"That's what everyone's in love with down there! The pure, sweet, innocent
alien princess who has no care in the world! Sure, some of them acknowledge
that she wants to marry me...but all of them are still entranced by this weird
spell Lum's presence has produced!! That's what's wrong! Move her to any
place in Japan and they still know that she's out there! Try as I might, I
can't seem to shake the spell that's over those idiots!!"
"Yeah, I have noticed that before," she nods. "It's like their lives
have more meaning whenever Lum's around!"
"That's right," he growls, holding a finger up. "And **that's** what I
really want to destroy! If I could destroy their faith in the image they hold
of Lum, if I could destroy the image itself but keep Lum-chan in place, then,
*then* I can feel comfortable about marrying her!!"
Unseen by both, the Oni in question has eavesdropped on their
conversation. She immediately turns and leaves the house for her waiting
scout. "Destroy the image but not the person..." she muses as she boards her
ship. "Where have I head something like that before...?!"
* * *
"Hey, Ataru!!!" a voice echoes through his sleepy mind. "Wake up!!
Wake up!!! Ataru!!!"
"What the...?!" Ataru moans as he rises, then notices a panicked Ten-
chan staring at him. "What the hell?! Jariten?!!" he snaps, seizing the
young Oni by his jumper. "Shouldn't you be in school?!!"
"No, no, no!!!" Ten-chan shakes his head. "You don't understand!! Lum-
chan didn't come back from Oshika last night!!! She's missing!!"
Ataru blinks as that message sinks in...then his scream nearly blows the
roof off his house! "***LUM'S MISSING?!?!?!***"
* * *
Within half an hour, the word has been passed to everyone who needs to
be concerned about the Oni's sudden disappearance. In the control centre of
her crystal palace, Nicole McTavish heads a multi-party video-conference.
"The palace did detect Lum's ship leaving the solar system bound for a remote
sector," Mujanba reports.
"We noticed that," Oyuki reports. "However," she looks regretful, "...I
did not see fit to call her and inquire as to where she was travelling."
"Where did she seemed to be going?" Nassur asks from Home Base.
"An uninhabited sector near Zephyrite space," Mujanba reports.
"Odd," Invader scratches the back of his head. "There's nothing out
there which would be of interest to her!"
"The thing that gets me is her taking off without telling anyone where
she was going!" Ataru rubs the back of his head, standing beside Nicole. "At
least, she should've told Ten or Koosei!"
"Yeah!!" Benten growls, standing beside her husband. "Yo, Ataru...can
you tell us about what could've made her take off like that?!"
"Other than what happened yesterday?" the Terran moans, then proceeds to
explain the incidents in the clock tower.
"Day-in, day-out, those dorks don't get the message!!" Benten snarls.
"It may be wise to move Lum-chan immediately to Oshika if you are to be
guaranteed any peace, Ataru," Oyuki sighs.
"That won't happen," Ataru shakes his head. "The damn bureaucracy is
too slow as is...and that doesn't count interference from Mendou if he ever
got wind of it!" Groaning, he turns and leans his head against a bulkhead.
"Damn it all, where is she?!" he thumps his head on the crystal...then again
and again and again and again, each successive time with more force! "Where
is she?! Where is she?!! WHERE IS SHE?!?! ***WHERE IS SHE?!?!?!***"
"Hey, Ataru, cut it out!!!" Nicole panics on seeing the sizeable hole
her friend is making. "Don't do that!!! Walls cost money!!!"
* * *
The news of Nassur's search for the missing Lum is quickly relayed to
Koosei, who in turn informs everyone at school. After the teacher had to put
Mendou and the guards in traction to ensure they did not volunteer to "help"
the Vosian in his quest, matters settled down. As a day passes, Ataru
nervously waits in Oshika for news. That is when he receives an interesting
call...from Momoe of all people! The subject of their meeting in the Pizza
Emporium later surprised Ataru further: Momoe, Kumiko and Natsuko each want
to have a one-night stand with their former classmate!!
While the Ataru of old certainly would have jumped at such a chance with
three such beautiful, desirable and willing women, the Ataru of present
realized that their request underscored a complex problem facing Tomobiki's
female population of high school age: they have no boyfriends. With the mass
infatuation Tomobiki's men exhibit towards Lum, no other woman has succeeded
in starting a long-term relationship with a local man. To that end,
remembering Komeru's earlier request, Ataru made certain...arrangements.
* * *
The next day at noon finds Natsuko heading for the gymnasium. A note is
in hand, embossed with the Moroboshi tiger-and-chrysanthemum insignia. She
reads Ataru's words. "'There is a man in my uncle's organization who is
similar to you in many ways, Natsuko-chan. He is an orphan, like many of the
people in Uncle's organization. Proceed to the gymnasium at noon if you want
to meet him. Ataru.'" She looks up as she opens the door and steps inside.
"Now, who could it be...?" she hums.
"Catch!!" a voice warns.
Natsuko spins around as a volleyball sails her way. She grabs the ball
without thinking, then looks around. "Who...?!"
"Hi," that same voice beckons from down-court.
Natsuko stops, staring in disbelief at a man in his early twenties
approaching her. Dressed in a blazer, vest, shirt and designer slacks, he has
crew-cut brown hair and brown eyes. A small bouquet of flowers sits in his
hands. *Oh, gods!!!* the girl's volleyball team captain gasps, eyes wide with
disbelief. *He's gorgeous!!*
The man goes to one knee, presenting the flowers to her, his head bowed.
"For you, Shinryaku-san."
Natsuko is paralyzed. *No* man has ever done this to her! "Who...who
are you...?!" she stammers.
The man rises. "I'm Ryoohou Butsuri, Shinryaku-san," he reverently
bows. "I'm the chief physical education instructor for the Moroboshi Light
Assault Division."
Natsuko gulps, then spots Komeru's tiger-and-gaikatana insignia on
Ryoohou's blazer. "You...you work for Ataru's uncle?!" she gasps, still
suspended in a state of disbelief.
"Yes, ma'am!" he nods. "I was more than happy when Ataru-kun told me
about you!! You're even more than I expected!"
They stare into the other's eyes. Suddenly, a challenging glint shines
in his. "Care to play a game of one-on-one volleyball?" he hums.
Stunned, a hungry gleam enters her eyes as she takes the flowers. "Set
up the net!!" she icily exhales...
* * *
At the same time, Momoe approaches the door to the science lab, a note
of her own in hand. Like her friends, her note informs of another of Komeru's
wards looking to meet her. Opening the door, she peeks inside. "Hello?!" she
calls out. "Is there anyone here?!"
An explosion then wrecks the lab!! Momoe is blasted back by the force,
slamming into the opposite wall. Dropping to the floor, she coughs as she
tries to regain her footing, not to mention her breath. Suddenly, to her
surprise, a man's hoarse voice echoes from inside the lab. "I think...I
overdid it...!"
Momoe looks up, eyes wide with disbelief on seeing who emerges from the
lab. While endowed with olive-brown skin and curly black hair, his facial
features are more Oriental than African, now covered by round-frame glasses
covering brown eyes. He is dressed in a now-burnt scientist's smock. Momoe's
shock turns to lust at his physical features. "Oh, what a hunk!!" she gasps,
hearts now taking the place of her eyes.
Standing, she walks over to wipe him clean. "Oh, dear, you're such a
mess!" she frets.
"I was sure..." he coughs, looking at a broken flask in his hand, "...I
put potassium sulfate in this..." he coughs again, "...solution."
Momoe leans up, smelling the flask's opening. "Magnesium!" he nose
wrinkles, having detected occurrences like this before.
The scientist faints! "Take a word of advice," she warns, "...students
in this place love to switch bottles around as a joke."
"I see..." he moans, obviously shocked at how close his life came to
ending.
Momoe leans down to help him to his feet. "I'm Momoe Marubeya," she
introduces herself, bowing.
He takes her hand, surprised to hear who she is. "Shoosetsu Kagaku," he
coughs, realization dawning on his face. As he rises, he reaches into his
side pocket...but unfortunately produces burnt stems where a corsage would
normally be. "Oh, hell!" he moans, shaking his head. "My flowers...I...!"
Momoe is stunned, then a giggle shakes her. Shoosetsu stares in
confusion at her, then he too is struck in the funny bone. In seconds, both
fall over laughing. "Oh, that's funny!!!" she squeals.
"A riot!!!" he guffaws.
Both then stare at the wrecked lab. "Well," the scientist shrugs,
standing, "...might as well clean this mess up."
"Oh, here...I'll help!" Momoe stands.
Both enter the lab...holding hands.
* * *
At the same time, Kumiko proceeds to the nursing station, a note of her
own in hand. "Now," she looks around, "...where could this man be?!"
Her attention is taken by the sound of Sakura's voice. "It was so nice
of you to come, Shizenryoo-sensei," the nurse emerges from the station.
"Oh, anything for a fellow healer, Sakurambou-sensei," a man chuckles.
Seeing him emerge, Kumiko's jaw drops. Leaving Sakura's office is a
tall, well-built, very healthy, quite handsome man dressed in a golf shirt and
designer slacks, the Moroboshi clan crest on his pocket. His long black hair
is tied in a ponytail at the neck. Brown eyes shine with knowledge. Both
then notice the student's presence. "Oh, Kumiko," Sakura smiles. "What are
you doing here?!"
The man looks surprised. "'Kumiko?!'" he looks at the teenager. "As
in...Kumiko Gekasawa?"
Kumiko flushes in embarrassment. "Oh, I see," Sakura muses. "Kumiko,
this is Hooka Shizenryoo," she gestures to her visitor. "He's a naturopath
who work's for Ataru's uncle at his estate. Sensei, this is one of Ataru's
old classmates, Kumiko Gekasawa," she gestures to the student.
The student's eyes widen in appreciation, as Hooka blushes. "**You're**
Hooka Shizenryoo?!!" she points at the naturopath. "The child prodigy of
naturopathic medicine?!!"
"Er...yes, Gekasawa-san," Hooka nods, chuckling.
Sakura looks between the two. "Well, Kumiko, why don't you give
Shizenryoo-sensei a tour of the school," the nurse looks at Kumiko. "I'm sure
Ryooki-sensei would not mind it!"
Kumiko looks faint, then recovers. "Can I?!!" she gasps, clapping her
hands in anticipation. "Can I?!! Of course, Sakura-sensei!!!"
In a moment, Hooka is dragged away by the student. "Here, Sensei...I'll
show you all the sights here!" Kumiko babbles.
"Er...why, th-thank you," Hooka blushes, nodding.
"Please," she giggles. "Call me Kumiko."
The two depart. Sakura crosses her arms. "My, what an interesting
development," she muses as she returns to her office...
* * *
...while at that very moment, a flash of light appears in front of a
picture window at Esmerelda's, the district's most popular ladies boutique.
The light fades, revealing a woman dressed in a tiger-striped bikini with
boots. "I made it!!!" she exclaims, then looks at herself.
However, while the body and the face sing "Lum," the hair is now wavy
shiny BLACK instead of iridescent green, the ears are ROUNDED instead of
tapered and her head is HORN-LESS! The woman does a detailed inspection of
herself in the mirror, then nods. "I did it!!!" her voice echoes without an
accent. "How, no one will think of me as Lum!!! Darling'll be so pleased
now...uh!!" she winces, reaching for her head. "My mind...!!" she moans.
A brief period of dizziness seizes her. After the pain subsides, the
woman looks into the reflection staring her back. Shock crosses her face,
which is then replaced by revulsion. "Eeew!!!" she gags. "What am I doing in
**this** rag?!!" Ramuko Redetto demands...
* * *
"Where the heck are you, Lum-chan...?" Ataru sighs as he lays back in
his bedroom in Oshika. It is later the evening of the day Momoe, Kumiko and
Natsuko met their boyfriends.
A sympathetic Nokoko leans in. "You okay, Ataru-chan?"
"Yeah, I'm fine..." Ataru nods...
...just as Nokoko is knocked over by a wailing woman. "ONATA!!!!!!"
Ataru bolts up, surprised to see a black-haired woman standing there,
dressed in a white flower-pattern kimono. Wailing, Ramuko leaps into his
arms. "Oh, my love, it's horrible!!!" she gasps.
Ataru stares confusedly at the woman. "Er...who are you?!"
"Who am I?!!" Ramuko looks equally confused. "Onata, I'm your fiance,
Ramuko Redetto!!!"
Ataru faints! "'Ramuko...REDETTO?!?!?!'"
"Yes, don't you remember?!" she nods. "I came down here from Urusei to
run a tag race against you, then you won and said you wanted to marry me!!"
He stares at her, more confused than ever. "Do I **know** you?!!"
"Anata..." she looks frightened, "...what's wrong with you?!" Sighing,
she then looks at herself. "Oh, what's wrong with *me*?!!"
Ataru and Nokoko faint when Ramuko produces Lum's bikini and boots! "I
woke up in the streets of Tomobiki-cho wearing **this** rag!!!"
The Moroboshi siblings stare at the clothes, then make a detailed
inspection of her face. Recognition crosses both their faces as they see
Lum's ghostly image in Ramuko's face. "Lu...m...?!" both hoarsely exclaim.
"That's right!" she beams. "I'm Ramuko!!"
Both are decked by an H-bomb blast!!!! "Beloved, who is this girl?!!"
Mal's voice echoes from the door.
Ataru, Nokoko and Ramuko stare at the Nendo-kata-turned-Oni. The last
pales in shock, then leaps behind Ataru. "M-my sister...she's become...an
**Oni**?!!" she gags. A second later, beans pelt Mal! "Oni out, luck
in...Oni out, luck in...Oni out, luck in...Oni out, luck in!!!" Ramuko chants.
"But...**how**?!!" Ataru hoarsely questions.
* * *
Sometime later, after Ataru has calmed Ramuko down enough to stop trying
to exorcise Mal, not to mention performed a trial question-and-answer session
to learn what she knows of her life as Lum, the four proceed to Nicole's
crystal palace. The two residents there are quite stunned to see what Ataru
has brought with him. "Who is this, Ataru dearie?!" Nicole nods to Ramuko.
"This is Lum!" Ataru shakes his head. "I don't know how, but she's
transformed herself into a normal Earth girl!!"
Nicole and Mujanba stare at each other in disbelief. "How is that
possible?!" the former then stares at Ramuko.
"Don't ask us!!" Nokoko shakes her head. "Can you reverse it?!!"
"We'll try!" the latter nods.
Minutes later, Ramuko lays on a diagnostic table, Mal laying on another
one beside her. Nicole passes a scanner over both women. The mistress of the
crystal palace spends most time scanning Ramuko's mind. "Well?!" Ataru looks
anxious as Nicole finishes her examination.
"It's Lum, alright..." Nicole sighs, "...to a point."
"'To a point?!'" Nokoko looks nervous.
"Her base memory pattern is the same as Lum's," Nicole walks to Ataru,
"...but certain memories have been seriously altered!"
"We know!" Ataru nods, gulping. "We've questioned 'Ramuko' about her
relationship with me. The basic facts are the same, but she can't bring
herself to believe that she was not born on this planet."
"According to her, she was born in a fishing village called Urusei
located on the south shore of Hokkaido," Nokoko adds. "She's convinced that
her father's a fishing boat skipper, Nassur and Benten are special police
operatives, Oyuki's a local noblewoman, Lan's a childhood friend from Urusei
and...well, you get the point now! She even has a fear of Onis!!"
"That'll go over big when she sees her parents," Ataru shakes his head.
"But can you tell how Lum was transformed into Ramuko?!"
"I can't!!" Nicole shakes her head in frustration. "I mean, her DNA has
been expertly rebuilt to make her a normal Terran girl of seventeen years old!
I could never imagine what sort of power could do this!!"
"I can," Mujanba walks up.
They stare at the Vosian. "When you brought Ramuko in, I considered
what could've happened to Lum to make her this way. I then remembered the
direction her scout was heading when she left. Scanning there, I located a
planet where she could've gone...Yumisei."
"Yumisei?!" Ataru looks confused. "What's that?!"
"It's otherwise known as the Planet of the Wishing Well," Mujanba sighs.
"It has an actual wishing well...and it works, too, as you can see..."
The four look at Ramuko. The transformed Oni is trying not to flee from
her sister's presence. "You mean...if Lum wished to be a normal Earth girl,
this place could actually do it?!" Nokoko points at Ramuko.
"Exactly," Mujanba nods.
Ataru and Nokoko stare at each other. "But...what in the name of the
gods would make Lum-chan do that?!!" the former demands.
"Uh-oh!" realization crosses the latter's face. "I know what made her
do it, Ataru-chan. Remember when you wished that she was a normal girl and we
had that talk about wanting to destroy the illusion everyone has of Lum?!"
Ataru thinks for a moment, then pales. "You mean...?"
"She overheard us," Nokoko stares at Ramuko.
The transformed Oni smiles at them. "Okay, no problem, then!!" Ataru
nods. "I'll just go to Yumisei and wish for Lum to be back to normal..."
"You can't!" Mujanba interrupts.
"Why not?!" Ataru snaps.
"Simple," Mujanba crosses her arms. "Given the power of this place, if
you go there, you're courting life imprisonment when the Federation catches
you! If you make a wish, then it becomes the death penalty!!"
Ataru pales, then stares at Ramuko. "Then...if someone finds Lum's
scout there...and if Ramuko is turned back to Lum...then she'll...?!"
"Be either in jail for the rest of her life...or face the hangman,"
Mujanba sighs. "She's cornered no matter which way she turns."
"I think we better call Koosei and tell him," Nokoko sighs.
"I'll do it," Ataru moans.
He moves to leave, but is stopped when Ramuko gently hugs his arm.
"Anata, why are you so sad?" the transformed Oni looks concerned.
Ataru stares at her face, one as pure as Lum's...then finds himself
smiling. "Somehow, despite what's happened, I think Ataru and Lum might drift
closer than ever," Nicole muses, crossing her arms.
* * *
Koosei is immediately called and told the news. After considering the
options now possible, the homeroom teacher proceeds to the Moroboshis to
inform Kinshou and Muchi. Ten-chan overheard the news and within minutes, all
of Tomobiki is in an uproar. "***LUM-SAN'S BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A NORMAL
EARTH GIRL?!?!?!***" a wailing Megane demands when Koosei meets with his class
on the teacher's front porch later.
"Yes," Koosei nods. "According to what Ataru, Nokoko, Nicole and
Mujanba have concluded, Lum proceeded to the planet Yumisei where she wished
that she would no longer be an Oni. By the mere fact of her going there, Lum
faces life imprisonment if she's caught and tried. By her making that wish,
she now faces the death penalty!"
Total horror crosses everyone's face. "But...what can we do, Sensei?!!"
Kakugari demands. "We've got to try to find a way to make Lum-chan normal!!!"
"I know that, Daremo!!" Koosei growls. "However, if a *peep* of this
gets out to **anyone** in authority out there, Lum's as good as dead!!"
"But that'll happen when they find her scout on Yumisei!" Shinobu gulps.
"I know that," Koosei adjusts his glasses. "However, if I know
Nassur...and I do...once he finds Lum's scout, he'll come to the same
conclusions, then remove the damning evidence and keep this all very quiet.
At the same time, I'll pass on a secure note to Invader and tell him the bad
news. If we keep this quiet, there'll be no problems."
"Yes," Megane turns to Ten-chan, his glasses glittering. "Jariten, you
don't want to see your cousin hanged, do you?!"
"N-n-n-no...!!" Ten-chan fearfully shakes his head.
"You know how to keep your mouth shut?!" Paama hisses.
"No problem!! No problem!!!" the young Oni panics.
Everyone relaxes save Mendou and Mie. "That reminds me," the Kyushu
native muses, looking around, "...where's Lan?!!"
Everyone sees the Seishin girl trying to sneak off. "GET HER!!!!!!"
Mendou snap-draws his katana, pointing his blade at Lan.
A dog-pile of students buries Lan before she could escape! Mie grabs
her by the hair. "Hey, Shutaro, make yourself useful!!" she barks.
"Indeed I will!!" the scion of Japan's richest family snarls as he
readies himself, his blade swinging for the kill. "Hold that airhead still
and I'll make her a head shorter for all her sins against Lum-san!!!"
"Ryooki-sensei, do something!!!" Lan wails. "Save me!!!"
"Don't make a mess on the grass, Shutaro," Koosei turns away.
"Of course, Ryooki-sensei!" Mendou cackles...
...then stops as everyone hears Shinobu's horrified gasp. "Lum?!!"
Everyone stops, turning to see Ramuko walking up to them. "Oh, you
boors again!" she looks sick.
Many eyes do not swerve from Ramuko as everyone takes in the
alterations. Megane tearfully moves towards her. "This...this is
horrible...!" he gasps, reaching for her face and hair, hoping he would
somehow find the horns, green hair and tapered ears he knew so well.
"This...is a calamity! How...how...HOW could this have happened?!!"
"Maybe because you harassed her so much that she decided to take her
looks away from you!" an incensed Ataru appears beside Ramuko.
"WHAT?!?!?!" Megane bellows, then points accusingly at Ataru. "Ah-
hah!!! **You're** the one responsible for this outrage, you bastard!!!"
"Who, moi?!!" Ataru points to himself. "Now, how the hell could I've
pulled **this** off?!!" he points to Ramuko. "I didn't take a gun and force
Lum to go to this place and make her wish to be normal!!! That might've been
something I would've done before the Spirit War, but not now!!!"
Shock, anger, sadness and confusion rage on the boys faces. "Well, I
guess that means no more insane lunacy in Tomobiki!" Ryuunosuke sighs.
"How nice!" Shinobu claps her hands. "We'll never have to see idiots
like Benten, Oyuki and Lan ever again!!!"
"Hey, I'm still here, you bitch!!!" Lan howls.
"You won't be for long if I know Mendou," Ataru taunts.
The Seishin girl trembles as she notices Mendou's katana waving close to
her neck! "Onata, why don't we do inside?" Ramuko faces Ataru. "We don't
need to be around boors like these!!" she icily glares at her classmates.
"Lead on, m'dear!" Ataru triumphantly smiles.
They enter the house. "Mediocre!" Megane moans. "Mediocre!! Oh, that
is *not* Lum-san!! That is not **our** Lum-san!!! THAT IS NOT LUM-SAN!!!!"
Ten-chan's flame-breath roasts the boys! Everyone sees him crying. "If
it wasn't for **you**, Lum-chan wouldn't've done what she did!!!" he snaps.
Wailing, he flies to the Moroboshi home...
* * *
Within a day, Nassur retrieves Lum's scout from Yumisei. Oyuki ensures
that a message is transmitted to Captain Invader, informing him and his wife.
Security is maintained: Lan's ship is sabotaged to prevent the Seishin girl
from trying to signal someone in authority. For good measure, she is put on
ice thanks to Oyuki! Rei is dispatched on a deep-space mission away from
Earth. Ten-chan is sent on compassionate leave to see his parents, thus
preventing trouble if he came close to his transformed cousin.
An oppressive gloom has fallen over Tomobiki. While it is not as bad as
the times Lum departed Tomobiki, it is still present. Watching Ramuko walk to
school from her office, Sakura and Koosei note the haunted looks on the
guards' faces. "Ataru must be happy," the nurse muses, sipping her tea.
"Ataru takes no joy in this, Sakura-chan," the teacher adjusts his
glasses. "In a sense, this is the best thing to happen. Those idiots've
lived in a dream world since Lum's arrival. Reality may not be as pleasant,
but it's what's going to face them come February when Lum leaves."
"So what happens now?" she looks at him as Koosei turns to leave.
"I proposed to Invader to hold off trying to transform Lum back until
the term ends," he sighs, glancing at his former girlfriend. "He...saw the
logic, although it's going to be hard."
"True..." she nods as he leaves...
* * *
In English class, Mark Onsen walks Class 3-4 through a reading exercise.
The girls look as if all their worries have just evaporated. The boys barely
pay attention to their homework. "<The clone shrieked - the first sound Mara
could remembering hearing him make>," Onsen reads, "<...as he staggered
backward.>" He turns to the transformed Oni. "Ramuko-san, please read on!"
Megane smashes his fists into the desk! "How **dare** you address her
by that sick name, Onsen-sensei?!!" he roars. "CALL HER 'LUM-SAN!!!!!!'"
Onsen's chalk smashes Megane in the head! "How can we call her 'Lum'
when thanks to **you**, she no longer even *exists*, idiot?!!" Mie demands.
Megane faints! "WHAT?!?!?!"
"Of course!" the Kyushu native turns away. "The only real reason Lum-
chan would've turned herself into Ramuko-chan is to destroy the *icon* YOU
idiots made of her!!" She switches to English. "<Vengeance, oh what poetry
could be written for a grand occasion such as this?!!>"
Mie then gets a standing ovation from her female classmates. "Three
cheers for the end of the domination of Lum!!!" Natsuko calls.
A banzai cheer follows. Onsen looks ready to explode...when Ramuko's
hand touches his. "Forgive them, Sensei. They need to blow off some steam."
As soon as the noise abates, Onsen turns to Ramuko. "*Ramuko-san*,
please read the next passage!!" he commands.
The boys look incensed, but do not dispute the issue. "<He spun toward
the sound of her lightsaber>," the transformed Oni reads, "<...his face
twisted with anger and fear, his eyes still dazzled...>"
* * *
As the day crawls, the gloom among the male students becomes palatable.
Even the girls seem confused. Some good things...if Ataru was there...occur.
Mendou and the guards no longer flock around their "goddess." In fact, **no**
boy comes close to Ramuko. The news of the Yumisei prohibition Lum flaunted
to become Ramuko is harshly re-told to the class by Koosei during afternoon
homeroom. While some people take this transformation with stride, others seem
lost. At day's end when class cleanup occurs, Mendou, the guards, Shinobu and
Ryuunosuke sit on the teacher's desk. "Is this what growing up means?" the
scion of Japan's richest family sadly shakes his head. "Losing our loved ones
without hope of even keeping their memories?"
"What do we do?" Chibi gulps. "We've got to do something..."
"You **can** move your lazy butts off the desk!!!" a voice snaps.
They are dumped to the floor by Mie, she having boosted the desk with
one hand! "Ramuko-chan wants to clean the floor!!" the Kyushu native snorts,
nodding to the transformed Oni, who waits beside Mie, a mop in hand.
Incensed, Shinobu leaps up. "I've had it with you, you bitch!!!" she
leaps over to grab the book cabinet. "Time for you to learn your place!!!"
Mie appears unconcerned as the other students tremble, backing away from
the fight about to begin. Shinobu grabs the cabinet...and finds she cannot
move it! "Huh?!" she gasps, staring in confusion at the cabinet. Funny. It
did not seem that heavy before. Try again.
"Well?!" Mie sighs.
Shinobu grunts as she tries again to lift the cabinet. It does not
move! "What the...?!" she gasps, then with a bellow, tries again. Nothing!!
"C'mon, exlax!!!" Mie walks over, bopping Shinobu across the back of her
head with her broom handle! "We've got work to do!!! Haul ass!!!"
Shinobu yelps in shock, falling to the floor, staring in shock at the
cabinet, which to her now looks as imposing as the Tycho monolith from "2001."
"I...couldn't lift it...?!" she stammers, trembling in shock and confusion.
"Get to work, you lazy eggplant!!" Ramuko snaps as she mops the floor.
Numb, Shinobu rises to assist Ryuunosuke in moving desks. Mie watches
Ataru's ex-girlfriend lethargically move, concern crossing her face...
* * *
"Is this...victory?" Mal tearfully sighs as she sits with Ataru, Mie and
Nokoko in the dining room that evening in Oshika. "My sister having to
sacrifice her very sense of self to bring peace to our lives?! I celebrate
the destruction of the dreams those Purveyors of disUnity have forced on our
lives...but must it be at this cost?! Isn't there some way to bring her back,
to make her be herself again, Ataru-kun?!"
"Hard to tell," Ataru gently twirls his brandy snifter. "Reiko-chan's
happy. She knows that means no more of Ten-chan, no more of Lum's parents or
anything weird rising from Tomobiki!"
"You seem pleased," Mie muses.
"Pleased?!" he looks angry, bolting to his feet. "What the hell do you
take me for?!! I may have wished that Lum might be a normal girl...but if I'd
known that there was some place in this galaxy where she could go and actually
transform herself into a normal Earth girl, I would've kept my mouth shut!!!"
"Hey, settle down, both of you!!" Nokoko waves them down. "Snapping at
each other's not going to solve this problem!!"
"Besides, there's another thing we may have considered," he sips his
drink. "Lum's no idiot. She doesn't dive into any situation..." he looks to
the stars, "...without making sure nothing could go wrong. We...have to
assume that she made this decision with a sound mind and body before going."
"Gods, you make it sound like a damn will!!" Nokoko looks sick, then
glances at her life-mate. "Mal-chan, could you tell if there was something of
Lum-chan in Ramuko?"
"I could not, Beloved," she sighs. "The fact is, this transformation
does not change that which is core to Lum-chan's essence: her love for Ataru-
kun, her desire to marry him, not to mention her love of those who are her
friends and barely tentative tolerance for those Purveyors of disUnity in
Tomobiki. Ataru-kun is right...we must assume that this, painful as it is to
some, is what my sister...desired."
"Don't forget that 'assume' means you make an 'ass' out of 'you' and
'me,'" Mie warns, holding up a finger.
"But you said Lum's transformation has really started to hurt them,"
Nokoko stares at the Kyushu native. "Shinobu's strength is gone, for example.
The guys don't flock over Ramuko. That's what we've wanted all this time!"
"Yeah, although that's never bothered me," Mie nods. "Still, you have
to admire those dummies, sometimes. Their loyalty, their steadfastness.
They're there if you need them."
"That is something I've *never* minded when it came to them," Ataru
sighs. "It's **everything else** about them that make my skin crawl!"
"Well, you've forced some of them on separate lives," Mie looks at her
former classmate. "Everyone with half a brain knows that what you did for
Momoe, Kumiko and Natsuko is just a warm-up for what you might do to Mendou
and the guards. I know your uncle has female wards, too."
"Guilty as charged," Ataru blushes. "Just don't tell those jerks."
"I swear that no sound about your future nefarious deeds shall come from
me," Mie holds her hand up as if she was taking an oath.
Everyone laughs, then the three girls stare at Ataru. "What are you
thinking?" Nokoko gently prods.
"This was too easy," he sighs, looking down at his glass. An image of
Lum appears, which melts into an image of Ramuko. "I mean, it's the same idea
as what I want. Destroy the icon. Eliminate the competition so that there's
nothing which stands in the way of my marrying her. But...this was so damn
easy! One word from me and Lum turns around and does it!!"
"It shows how much she cares for you," Nokoko sighs. "It shows she's
finally come to understand that what you want counts, has to count if there's
going to be a successful relationship. It's worth something, isn't it?"
"Of course it is!" he readily nods. "If it didn't come at such a
cost...or is it a cost?...then I'd be jumping for joy!! I'd be proposing to
her right now, planning our wedding like she's done for so long!! But..." he
grits his teeth as he utters the last part, "...is this what Lum wants?!!"
"That we may never know," Nokoko sighs, standing...
* * *
Later that night, Ataru sits on the ledge over the living room, staring
at the stars. One star twinkles. Is it Uru? Sagussa, perhaps? Were the
stars telling him to transform his girlfriend to the way she was...or keep her
the way she is? Dare he do that? Did he have the power, the right to destroy
a sentient being? Ramuko Redetto was as much a sentient being, with her own
desires and goals, as much a right to live, as Lum Redet. No matter which
path he looked down, troubles innumerable stared back. "Hey?"
"Hi, Mie," he sighs as Mie joins him.
Both stare to the stars. "Well, is there a plan?" she stares at him.
"I can't say," he shakes his head. "I mean, Ramuko was created by Lum,
but Ramuko is as much her own person as Lum. If I keep Ramuko, I destroy Lum.
If I bring Lum back, I destroy Ramuko. Which way do I choose?"
"Hard question," she nods. "Then again, there's another thing you've
got to consider," she looks at him. "Lum has family back on Uru, friends like
Nassur, Benten, Oyuki and the others...even friends here on Earth...and that
doesn't mention a bond-mate back home in Noa-chan."
He looks at her. "You know of that?" he blinks.
"It's easy to tell every time I touch her. I may not remember if I
myself have a bond-mate waiting for me back home, but I can still tell."
Ataru nods, understanding that by the term "home," she means Sagussa.
"If Lum is now Ramuko, then her bond with Noa's shattered," Mie continues.
"Poor girl. She must be suffering, wondering if Lum is alive or dead."
"Are you trying to tell me something, Mie?" he glares at her. "Just
because Ramuko was created out of nothingness doesn't mean that she has less
right to exist than Lum!"
"But both can't exist at the same time!" she snaps. "Damn it, Ataru-
chan, regardless of what we do with Ramuko, we have to bring Lum back!!"
"Um...you don't have to bother," a voice calls from behind them.
Ataru and Mie spin around to see Lum standing there. "LUM?!?!?!" both
exclaim, falling out of the balcony to crash at the Oni's feet!
"Hi," she meekly smiles. "I'm back!" She then shamefully looks down.
"Sorry about this."
Ataru and Mie stare in disbelieving shock at the woman they just spent
time arguing about, then crying, leap up and embrace her...
* * *
"I knew if I wished I would be an Earth girl, that I'd be that way for
the rest of my life," Lum sighs as she explains matters to Ataru, Mie, Nokoko
and Mal. She sips her tea, then continues. "So, when I came to the Wishing
Well, I stipulated that if in any way Darling felt unsure about my becoming
Ramuko, I'd eventually and naturally revert to being plain old Lum!" She
looks down at herself. "As you see, that's exactly what happened!"
"Then why the hell didn't you tell anyone?!" Ataru snaps. "At least,
you should've told your parents...or me for that matter!! Don't I deserve to
know when my girlfriend goes off like that?!!"
"I did tell someone," Lum holds up a finger.
"Who?!!" everyone demands.
"Grandma," the Oni smiles.
Ataru's jaw drops. "Grandma knew about this?!!" he snaps, bolting to
his feet. "Why didn't she say anything when you disappeared?!!"
"Because I asked her to," Lum looks guilty. "Darling, I have to prove
to her that I do care for you! This seemed like a good opportunity!! Don't
worry, I was protected...and Nassur-chan did get my ship off Yumisei when he
came to look. There's no reason to fear what the Galactic Federation might
do! The evidence doesn't exist in case Lan tries to push the point!!" She
stares at Nokoko and Mie. "Besides, I wanted to know what being an Earth girl
was like. I can disguise myself anytime I want, but that still doesn't give
me the *feel* of what being native to this world is! My children are going to
be half-Terran. They're going to be raised here. What type of mother am I
going to be unless I know what they'll experience?!"
"But...what about Ramuko?" Mie looks concerned.
"I know...you were concerned about Ramuko's rights." Lum pats her
heart. "She was always a part of me. She always will be a part of me."
The Oni stares at Ataru. Disbelief, shock and a overwhelming sense of
confusion still shadow his face. "I think we'd better leave these two alone
for a while," Nokoko stands. "Want a bunk to sleep in, Mie?"
"Sure," the Kyushu native nods as she, Nokoko and Mal leave.
Once alone, Ataru and Lum stare at each other. "Darling...?" the Oni
gulps. "Please...I did this for us!! I never meant to hurt you!"
"Lum, much that I wish things were normal between us and those morons
down there, they aren't...!" he sighs.
"I know!!" she nods. "And I know that still didn't give me the excuse
to run off and destroy...even for a bit...what friendships I have!! Don't you
see, Darling?! I don't care about them! All I care...all I want...is you!!
My relationship with you is what truly matters!! For once, I didn't want to
care about what my parents thought, or Ten-chan, or my friends! I cared about
what **you** thought, what **you** wanted!! Isn't that enough?!"
Ataru tries to reply, but no sound escapes from his lips. Tears sting
his eyes as he stares at her...this beautiful, entrancing woman...before him.
And people still thought Lum a demon? Were they blind?! What demon would
willingly destroy her sense of self all for the happiness of her lover?! Was
Windy capable of this? Was any woman Ataru knew capable of this?
Finally, his own emotions crash through his barriers. Sobbing, he
tightly embraces Lum, happy that she had once again returned to his side. For
the first time, he realizes how much she loves him, she cares for him, she
wants him and only him...and how much he depends on her love, her devotion,
her desire for him. There is shame in his tears, for how could he possibly
consider himself equal to her, worthy of her? He found he was not. Despite
all his own power, despite all his attempts at making their lives easier,
despite all his attempts at bringing peace to his life...he still had tried to
dominate her life, had probably tried to dominate her life since they day they
met. That was even more shameful.
Ataru shakes his head, the tears still flowing. Lum remains silent as
he weeps, willing to allow him to vent his emotions at his own shortcomings...
*** The End ***
by Fred Herriot
**** **** ****
edited by E.B. Kushnir
**** **** ****
Twenty-fourth of a series of fan fiction stories based on "Urusei Yatsura,"
created by Rumiko Takahashi
**** **** ****
WRITER'S NOTES: Nothing complex in this story, save for the beginning of
events which will finally lead to, as many of you would be relieved to hear,
Ataru and Lum finally tying the knot. Stay tuned!
**** **** ****
Tomobiki, a week before Christmas.
With tension easing after the events of the previous story, Ataru and
Lum find themselves being gently pulled apart. After nearly raping her while
under the influence of the Fire-spirit elixir, he decided to temporarily give
Lum a breather by dating other women. Meanwhile, Lum decided to solve a
personal dilemma by dating the four members of Lum's bodyguards.
Lum's loyalty to Ataru has been constant, the flare-ups of the Second
Tag Race and the arrival of his first fiancee notwithstanding. Still, the Oni
found the attraction of her male classmates, especially the bodyguards, all
the more baffling. Yet there they were, four quite simple sorts whose loyalty
and lust for the Oni remained unabated despite the growing closeness between
Lum and her Darling. Finally, when the chance offered itself, she decided to
personally investigate this...and promptly regretted making that decision!
In homeroom class, the girls of class 3-4 gather around Ryuunosuke, who
had just dated Ataru. "You mean...he didn't do *anything*?!" Momoe gasps.
"Not a thing!" the tomboy shakes her head. "We went to the Pizza
Emporium, then saw a movie, went bowling and watched the stars!"
"I wish the idiots in this class were like him these days!" Kumiko
romantically sighs. "It would be *so* nice!!"
"I know!" Natsuko readily nods. "He took me to a volleyball game...and
he still wants to take me to the Japan-U.S. Volleyball Tournament in January!"
The girl's volleyball captain then twirls like a ballerina as she remembers
her date. "Oh, what a nice night that was!!"
As the girls chat, Shinobu, Mie and Lan listen in. "Why doesn't Darling
want to go out with me?!" the Seishin teen sighs.
"Because he wants women with *intelligence*!" the Kyushu native snorts.
"And I'm **not** intelligent?!!" Lan demands.
She finds herself being ignored, the other girls thoughtfully whistling.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!!!" Lan growls.
That comment elicits no response. Nearby, the boys gather around the
guards. "It was spectacular!" Megane beams. "Last night was the fulfillment
of a dream!! At least, I got to date Lum-san!!"
"We finally got our chance to break her away from Ataru!" Chibi rubs his
hands together, a conspiratorial smile crossing his face.
Paama and Kakugari dance a happy jig, singing "Happy Days Are Here
Again." One student is not impressed. "Idiots!" Mendou snorts. "I bet you
four made fools of yourselves!!"
The guards slam their hands on his desk. "Hah!!!" Megane barks. "Lum-
san enjoyed herself when she was in my company...which is more that she could
say if she dated a snob like you!!" he points at Mendou.
Mendou then leaps up, his katana clearing the scabbard. "Now, there
shall be **two** of you...!!" he growls, then stops. "Lum-san!"
Everyone looks as a sickened Lum makes her way to her desk, ignoring the
lustful stares from her male classmates. "Some date last night!" the Oni
snorts. "I had to keep beating your hands away!! The only man I'd allow to
touch me sexually is Darling!!! At least *he's* a gentleman!!" She then
icily glares at the guards. "Darling's going to be here today...and when I
tell him what you did to me, I hope the Cyborg tears you to ribbons!!"
With a humph, Lum strides to her seat and sits down. The guards look as
if their very manhood has been called into question. "He..." Megane snarls,
shuddering. "It's always him...!"
Before they could bellow, a sonic boom nearly blows them out the nearest
window! "***SIDDOWN, JERKS!!!!!!***" Koosei Ryooki roars as he strides in.
* * *
Sometime later, Ataru finds himself chained to the guard rail beside the
clock tower machinery. The bodyguards stand in triumph before him. "This
time, Ataru Moroboshi, you have lost!!!" Megane points at him. "We've shown
Lum-san what type of men we are...and she **likes** it!!!"
"You mean you proved what no-mind jerks you are?!" Ataru quips.
The guards faint! "Honestly, Aisuru, this is getting boring!!" Ataru
yawns. "You can't score because Lum doesn't want anything to do with you!
Why do you think I put that provision in our agreement in the first place?! I
**wanted** to bait you jerks into making fools of yourselves so that Lum would
realize what idiots you are and agree to live with me in Oshika!!"
"So," Megane's glasses glitter, "...you're still trying to drag Lum-san
against her will to your sin-pit, eh?!" He snaps his fingers. "It's time to
end your attempts at dominating our lives!! Sedoyama-kun!!!"
"Time for some fun!" Sedoyama walks up, cackling as he drops to his
knees, rips off Ataru's shoe and prepares to tickle-torture him. "Time for a
little of my patented Torture Number One...!!"
He stops, eyes wide on seeing Ataru's fingers pointed at the back of his
head. "I think it's time to let my *friend* out so **it** can discuss things
with you!!" he icily smiles.
The five boys quickly retreat...just as the door opens. "Ataru-kun!!"
Shinobu demands as she marches it.
"What do you want?!" he stares at his former girlfriend.
"What's this I hear about you dating other girls?!" she demands,
standing in front of him. "Don't I get any consideration?!!"
He looks sick. "Hah! Why should I give you any consideration anymore?"
Shinobu looks enraged. "I'll teach you some manners, you...!" she
snarls, leaning down to give Ataru the beating she feels he long deserves...
...then finds herself bashed into the side wall thanks to his foot! "To
hell with you, idiot!!!" Ataru snaps.
"Hey, Ataru, what're you doing here?!" Ryuunosuke demands as she enters.
Deciding he has had enough, Ataru shatters the guardrail. Standing, he
then trips Shinobu, sending her flying down the clock tower well!! "Ooops!!"
he gasps in mock surprise. "Clumsy me!!!"
Three stories below, Shinobu crashes into Lan! "Nuts!!" Ataru snaps his
fingers in an "aw, shucks!" gesture. "I almost had her!!!"
Suddenly, a tidal wave is heard! "***THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!!!***"
Ataru and Ryuunosuke leap clear as the wall of water crashes into the
tower, taking the guards and Sedoyama!! The tomboy's father surfs the wave,
his eyes producing a storm of tears. "Oh, the shame of it, Masako!!!" he
bellows. "My idiot *son* beats innocent girls!!! How shameful this is!!!"
The two teens watch as Fujinami disappears, quite confused. "Since when
was Miyaki ever innocent of anything?!" the former muses.
The door then bursts open, revealing Lan, an unconscious Shinobu hanging
over her shoulder. "WHO DID THAT?!?!?!" the Seishin teen demands.
"Nobody," Ataru shakes his head. "It was an accident!"
Shrugging Shinobu off her shoulder, Lan quickly switches to her cute
act. "Darling, why don't you go on a date with me?!"
"Why should I date a vindictive, bitchy airhead like you?!" he snorts.
Lan faints! "Looks like we were right all along!" Ryuunosuke howls with
mischevous merriment. "Ataru does prefer girls with *intelligence*!!"
"And neither of you qualify anymore!" Ataru icily glares at Lan and
Shinobu, then offers his arm to Ryuunosuke. "Shall we, my dear?"
"Lead on, MacDuff!" she slips her arm around his.
Before they could depart, another tidal wave crashes into them!! "What
type of **man** are you to date another man, Ryuunosuke?!!" Fujinami demands.
A second later, he flies out of the school! "I'M A GIRL!!!!!!"
"I'm on the Moon...!!!" he wails as he reaches escape velocity!
The bodyguards appear out of nowhere, lunging at Ataru with murder in
their eyes. "This time, Ataru, you will die!!!" Megane howls...
Twenty seconds later, the guards, Shinobu, Lan and Sedoyama find
themselves pounded into silly-putty on the front lawn of the school, having
been deposited there by the Kuromoroboshi ninjas!! Students playing outside
are taken quite aback by this sudden development. "Don't those dummies get
the idea by now?!!" Ryuunosuke shakes her head, clearly annoyed.
"No!!!" Ataru growls...
* * *
Later that evening, in Oshika, Ataru returns home. Lum has come up from
Tomobiki to visit, having heard about the ruckus in the clock tower from
Ryuunosuke. "Hi, Darling!" she smiles. "Welcome home!!"
Seeing the Oni whose presence has so altered his life, Ataru's lips
tremble, then he lets out a violent scream. "***WHY COULDN'T YOU BE A NICE,
NORMAL GIRL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!?!?!***" he bellows.
The Oni is nearly blasted through the living room by that outburst.
Ataru storms into his house, ignoring the shocked stares from his sister and
sister-in-law, then slams his room door shut. "What's with him?!!" Nokoko
fearfully points upstairs as Lum recovers.
"Oh...everyone gave him trouble in Tomobiki today," the Oni sighs.
"What else is new?" her Nendo-kata born sister muses...
* * *
"Is it safe?" Nokoko leans into Ataru's room.
Ataru looks up, then smiles. "Oh, c'mon in!" he waves her inside.
"So," his sister sits beside him. "What's got you on a tear today?!"
"Everything!" he groans. "Simply put, total chaos is the name of the
game at Tomobiki High School!"
"Oh, Ataru-chan, why do you still go down there?!" she looks sick. "The
only way you'll keep them off your back is if you don't show up for them to
start picking on you! Why'd you move out of there in the first place?!"
"True," he rubs his skull. "Ah, I'm also bugged 'cause Komeru-oji-chan
wants to start getting his wards engaged as soon as possible...and as usual,
he wants me to handle the omiai arrangements!"
"Oh, cute," she sighs. "Look, if you really want to start putting the
screws on those morons down there, threaten to not come down to Tomobiki
anymore. Lum'll get the hint and she won't stay around there as often...that
is until she graduates, then she'll permanently move here!"
Ataru looks relieved. "Oh, two months left to go!!" he sighs. "Still,
that won't solve the problem even if we got Lum away from Tomobiki!"
"Why not?!" Nokoko looks confused.
"I think the real problem is the *image* of Lum!" her brother muses.
"That's what everyone's in love with down there! The pure, sweet, innocent
alien princess who has no care in the world! Sure, some of them acknowledge
that she wants to marry me...but all of them are still entranced by this weird
spell Lum's presence has produced!! That's what's wrong! Move her to any
place in Japan and they still know that she's out there! Try as I might, I
can't seem to shake the spell that's over those idiots!!"
"Yeah, I have noticed that before," she nods. "It's like their lives
have more meaning whenever Lum's around!"
"That's right," he growls, holding a finger up. "And **that's** what I
really want to destroy! If I could destroy their faith in the image they hold
of Lum, if I could destroy the image itself but keep Lum-chan in place, then,
*then* I can feel comfortable about marrying her!!"
Unseen by both, the Oni in question has eavesdropped on their
conversation. She immediately turns and leaves the house for her waiting
scout. "Destroy the image but not the person..." she muses as she boards her
ship. "Where have I head something like that before...?!"
* * *
"Hey, Ataru!!!" a voice echoes through his sleepy mind. "Wake up!!
Wake up!!! Ataru!!!"
"What the...?!" Ataru moans as he rises, then notices a panicked Ten-
chan staring at him. "What the hell?! Jariten?!!" he snaps, seizing the
young Oni by his jumper. "Shouldn't you be in school?!!"
"No, no, no!!!" Ten-chan shakes his head. "You don't understand!! Lum-
chan didn't come back from Oshika last night!!! She's missing!!"
Ataru blinks as that message sinks in...then his scream nearly blows the
roof off his house! "***LUM'S MISSING?!?!?!***"
* * *
Within half an hour, the word has been passed to everyone who needs to
be concerned about the Oni's sudden disappearance. In the control centre of
her crystal palace, Nicole McTavish heads a multi-party video-conference.
"The palace did detect Lum's ship leaving the solar system bound for a remote
sector," Mujanba reports.
"We noticed that," Oyuki reports. "However," she looks regretful, "...I
did not see fit to call her and inquire as to where she was travelling."
"Where did she seemed to be going?" Nassur asks from Home Base.
"An uninhabited sector near Zephyrite space," Mujanba reports.
"Odd," Invader scratches the back of his head. "There's nothing out
there which would be of interest to her!"
"The thing that gets me is her taking off without telling anyone where
she was going!" Ataru rubs the back of his head, standing beside Nicole. "At
least, she should've told Ten or Koosei!"
"Yeah!!" Benten growls, standing beside her husband. "Yo, Ataru...can
you tell us about what could've made her take off like that?!"
"Other than what happened yesterday?" the Terran moans, then proceeds to
explain the incidents in the clock tower.
"Day-in, day-out, those dorks don't get the message!!" Benten snarls.
"It may be wise to move Lum-chan immediately to Oshika if you are to be
guaranteed any peace, Ataru," Oyuki sighs.
"That won't happen," Ataru shakes his head. "The damn bureaucracy is
too slow as is...and that doesn't count interference from Mendou if he ever
got wind of it!" Groaning, he turns and leans his head against a bulkhead.
"Damn it all, where is she?!" he thumps his head on the crystal...then again
and again and again and again, each successive time with more force! "Where
is she?! Where is she?!! WHERE IS SHE?!?! ***WHERE IS SHE?!?!?!***"
"Hey, Ataru, cut it out!!!" Nicole panics on seeing the sizeable hole
her friend is making. "Don't do that!!! Walls cost money!!!"
* * *
The news of Nassur's search for the missing Lum is quickly relayed to
Koosei, who in turn informs everyone at school. After the teacher had to put
Mendou and the guards in traction to ensure they did not volunteer to "help"
the Vosian in his quest, matters settled down. As a day passes, Ataru
nervously waits in Oshika for news. That is when he receives an interesting
call...from Momoe of all people! The subject of their meeting in the Pizza
Emporium later surprised Ataru further: Momoe, Kumiko and Natsuko each want
to have a one-night stand with their former classmate!!
While the Ataru of old certainly would have jumped at such a chance with
three such beautiful, desirable and willing women, the Ataru of present
realized that their request underscored a complex problem facing Tomobiki's
female population of high school age: they have no boyfriends. With the mass
infatuation Tomobiki's men exhibit towards Lum, no other woman has succeeded
in starting a long-term relationship with a local man. To that end,
remembering Komeru's earlier request, Ataru made certain...arrangements.
* * *
The next day at noon finds Natsuko heading for the gymnasium. A note is
in hand, embossed with the Moroboshi tiger-and-chrysanthemum insignia. She
reads Ataru's words. "'There is a man in my uncle's organization who is
similar to you in many ways, Natsuko-chan. He is an orphan, like many of the
people in Uncle's organization. Proceed to the gymnasium at noon if you want
to meet him. Ataru.'" She looks up as she opens the door and steps inside.
"Now, who could it be...?" she hums.
"Catch!!" a voice warns.
Natsuko spins around as a volleyball sails her way. She grabs the ball
without thinking, then looks around. "Who...?!"
"Hi," that same voice beckons from down-court.
Natsuko stops, staring in disbelief at a man in his early twenties
approaching her. Dressed in a blazer, vest, shirt and designer slacks, he has
crew-cut brown hair and brown eyes. A small bouquet of flowers sits in his
hands. *Oh, gods!!!* the girl's volleyball team captain gasps, eyes wide with
disbelief. *He's gorgeous!!*
The man goes to one knee, presenting the flowers to her, his head bowed.
"For you, Shinryaku-san."
Natsuko is paralyzed. *No* man has ever done this to her! "Who...who
are you...?!" she stammers.
The man rises. "I'm Ryoohou Butsuri, Shinryaku-san," he reverently
bows. "I'm the chief physical education instructor for the Moroboshi Light
Assault Division."
Natsuko gulps, then spots Komeru's tiger-and-gaikatana insignia on
Ryoohou's blazer. "You...you work for Ataru's uncle?!" she gasps, still
suspended in a state of disbelief.
"Yes, ma'am!" he nods. "I was more than happy when Ataru-kun told me
about you!! You're even more than I expected!"
They stare into the other's eyes. Suddenly, a challenging glint shines
in his. "Care to play a game of one-on-one volleyball?" he hums.
Stunned, a hungry gleam enters her eyes as she takes the flowers. "Set
up the net!!" she icily exhales...
* * *
At the same time, Momoe approaches the door to the science lab, a note
of her own in hand. Like her friends, her note informs of another of Komeru's
wards looking to meet her. Opening the door, she peeks inside. "Hello?!" she
calls out. "Is there anyone here?!"
An explosion then wrecks the lab!! Momoe is blasted back by the force,
slamming into the opposite wall. Dropping to the floor, she coughs as she
tries to regain her footing, not to mention her breath. Suddenly, to her
surprise, a man's hoarse voice echoes from inside the lab. "I think...I
overdid it...!"
Momoe looks up, eyes wide with disbelief on seeing who emerges from the
lab. While endowed with olive-brown skin and curly black hair, his facial
features are more Oriental than African, now covered by round-frame glasses
covering brown eyes. He is dressed in a now-burnt scientist's smock. Momoe's
shock turns to lust at his physical features. "Oh, what a hunk!!" she gasps,
hearts now taking the place of her eyes.
Standing, she walks over to wipe him clean. "Oh, dear, you're such a
mess!" she frets.
"I was sure..." he coughs, looking at a broken flask in his hand, "...I
put potassium sulfate in this..." he coughs again, "...solution."
Momoe leans up, smelling the flask's opening. "Magnesium!" he nose
wrinkles, having detected occurrences like this before.
The scientist faints! "Take a word of advice," she warns, "...students
in this place love to switch bottles around as a joke."
"I see..." he moans, obviously shocked at how close his life came to
ending.
Momoe leans down to help him to his feet. "I'm Momoe Marubeya," she
introduces herself, bowing.
He takes her hand, surprised to hear who she is. "Shoosetsu Kagaku," he
coughs, realization dawning on his face. As he rises, he reaches into his
side pocket...but unfortunately produces burnt stems where a corsage would
normally be. "Oh, hell!" he moans, shaking his head. "My flowers...I...!"
Momoe is stunned, then a giggle shakes her. Shoosetsu stares in
confusion at her, then he too is struck in the funny bone. In seconds, both
fall over laughing. "Oh, that's funny!!!" she squeals.
"A riot!!!" he guffaws.
Both then stare at the wrecked lab. "Well," the scientist shrugs,
standing, "...might as well clean this mess up."
"Oh, here...I'll help!" Momoe stands.
Both enter the lab...holding hands.
* * *
At the same time, Kumiko proceeds to the nursing station, a note of her
own in hand. "Now," she looks around, "...where could this man be?!"
Her attention is taken by the sound of Sakura's voice. "It was so nice
of you to come, Shizenryoo-sensei," the nurse emerges from the station.
"Oh, anything for a fellow healer, Sakurambou-sensei," a man chuckles.
Seeing him emerge, Kumiko's jaw drops. Leaving Sakura's office is a
tall, well-built, very healthy, quite handsome man dressed in a golf shirt and
designer slacks, the Moroboshi clan crest on his pocket. His long black hair
is tied in a ponytail at the neck. Brown eyes shine with knowledge. Both
then notice the student's presence. "Oh, Kumiko," Sakura smiles. "What are
you doing here?!"
The man looks surprised. "'Kumiko?!'" he looks at the teenager. "As
in...Kumiko Gekasawa?"
Kumiko flushes in embarrassment. "Oh, I see," Sakura muses. "Kumiko,
this is Hooka Shizenryoo," she gestures to her visitor. "He's a naturopath
who work's for Ataru's uncle at his estate. Sensei, this is one of Ataru's
old classmates, Kumiko Gekasawa," she gestures to the student.
The student's eyes widen in appreciation, as Hooka blushes. "**You're**
Hooka Shizenryoo?!!" she points at the naturopath. "The child prodigy of
naturopathic medicine?!!"
"Er...yes, Gekasawa-san," Hooka nods, chuckling.
Sakura looks between the two. "Well, Kumiko, why don't you give
Shizenryoo-sensei a tour of the school," the nurse looks at Kumiko. "I'm sure
Ryooki-sensei would not mind it!"
Kumiko looks faint, then recovers. "Can I?!!" she gasps, clapping her
hands in anticipation. "Can I?!! Of course, Sakura-sensei!!!"
In a moment, Hooka is dragged away by the student. "Here, Sensei...I'll
show you all the sights here!" Kumiko babbles.
"Er...why, th-thank you," Hooka blushes, nodding.
"Please," she giggles. "Call me Kumiko."
The two depart. Sakura crosses her arms. "My, what an interesting
development," she muses as she returns to her office...
* * *
...while at that very moment, a flash of light appears in front of a
picture window at Esmerelda's, the district's most popular ladies boutique.
The light fades, revealing a woman dressed in a tiger-striped bikini with
boots. "I made it!!!" she exclaims, then looks at herself.
However, while the body and the face sing "Lum," the hair is now wavy
shiny BLACK instead of iridescent green, the ears are ROUNDED instead of
tapered and her head is HORN-LESS! The woman does a detailed inspection of
herself in the mirror, then nods. "I did it!!!" her voice echoes without an
accent. "How, no one will think of me as Lum!!! Darling'll be so pleased
now...uh!!" she winces, reaching for her head. "My mind...!!" she moans.
A brief period of dizziness seizes her. After the pain subsides, the
woman looks into the reflection staring her back. Shock crosses her face,
which is then replaced by revulsion. "Eeew!!!" she gags. "What am I doing in
**this** rag?!!" Ramuko Redetto demands...
* * *
"Where the heck are you, Lum-chan...?" Ataru sighs as he lays back in
his bedroom in Oshika. It is later the evening of the day Momoe, Kumiko and
Natsuko met their boyfriends.
A sympathetic Nokoko leans in. "You okay, Ataru-chan?"
"Yeah, I'm fine..." Ataru nods...
...just as Nokoko is knocked over by a wailing woman. "ONATA!!!!!!"
Ataru bolts up, surprised to see a black-haired woman standing there,
dressed in a white flower-pattern kimono. Wailing, Ramuko leaps into his
arms. "Oh, my love, it's horrible!!!" she gasps.
Ataru stares confusedly at the woman. "Er...who are you?!"
"Who am I?!!" Ramuko looks equally confused. "Onata, I'm your fiance,
Ramuko Redetto!!!"
Ataru faints! "'Ramuko...REDETTO?!?!?!'"
"Yes, don't you remember?!" she nods. "I came down here from Urusei to
run a tag race against you, then you won and said you wanted to marry me!!"
He stares at her, more confused than ever. "Do I **know** you?!!"
"Anata..." she looks frightened, "...what's wrong with you?!" Sighing,
she then looks at herself. "Oh, what's wrong with *me*?!!"
Ataru and Nokoko faint when Ramuko produces Lum's bikini and boots! "I
woke up in the streets of Tomobiki-cho wearing **this** rag!!!"
The Moroboshi siblings stare at the clothes, then make a detailed
inspection of her face. Recognition crosses both their faces as they see
Lum's ghostly image in Ramuko's face. "Lu...m...?!" both hoarsely exclaim.
"That's right!" she beams. "I'm Ramuko!!"
Both are decked by an H-bomb blast!!!! "Beloved, who is this girl?!!"
Mal's voice echoes from the door.
Ataru, Nokoko and Ramuko stare at the Nendo-kata-turned-Oni. The last
pales in shock, then leaps behind Ataru. "M-my sister...she's become...an
**Oni**?!!" she gags. A second later, beans pelt Mal! "Oni out, luck
in...Oni out, luck in...Oni out, luck in...Oni out, luck in!!!" Ramuko chants.
"But...**how**?!!" Ataru hoarsely questions.
* * *
Sometime later, after Ataru has calmed Ramuko down enough to stop trying
to exorcise Mal, not to mention performed a trial question-and-answer session
to learn what she knows of her life as Lum, the four proceed to Nicole's
crystal palace. The two residents there are quite stunned to see what Ataru
has brought with him. "Who is this, Ataru dearie?!" Nicole nods to Ramuko.
"This is Lum!" Ataru shakes his head. "I don't know how, but she's
transformed herself into a normal Earth girl!!"
Nicole and Mujanba stare at each other in disbelief. "How is that
possible?!" the former then stares at Ramuko.
"Don't ask us!!" Nokoko shakes her head. "Can you reverse it?!!"
"We'll try!" the latter nods.
Minutes later, Ramuko lays on a diagnostic table, Mal laying on another
one beside her. Nicole passes a scanner over both women. The mistress of the
crystal palace spends most time scanning Ramuko's mind. "Well?!" Ataru looks
anxious as Nicole finishes her examination.
"It's Lum, alright..." Nicole sighs, "...to a point."
"'To a point?!'" Nokoko looks nervous.
"Her base memory pattern is the same as Lum's," Nicole walks to Ataru,
"...but certain memories have been seriously altered!"
"We know!" Ataru nods, gulping. "We've questioned 'Ramuko' about her
relationship with me. The basic facts are the same, but she can't bring
herself to believe that she was not born on this planet."
"According to her, she was born in a fishing village called Urusei
located on the south shore of Hokkaido," Nokoko adds. "She's convinced that
her father's a fishing boat skipper, Nassur and Benten are special police
operatives, Oyuki's a local noblewoman, Lan's a childhood friend from Urusei
and...well, you get the point now! She even has a fear of Onis!!"
"That'll go over big when she sees her parents," Ataru shakes his head.
"But can you tell how Lum was transformed into Ramuko?!"
"I can't!!" Nicole shakes her head in frustration. "I mean, her DNA has
been expertly rebuilt to make her a normal Terran girl of seventeen years old!
I could never imagine what sort of power could do this!!"
"I can," Mujanba walks up.
They stare at the Vosian. "When you brought Ramuko in, I considered
what could've happened to Lum to make her this way. I then remembered the
direction her scout was heading when she left. Scanning there, I located a
planet where she could've gone...Yumisei."
"Yumisei?!" Ataru looks confused. "What's that?!"
"It's otherwise known as the Planet of the Wishing Well," Mujanba sighs.
"It has an actual wishing well...and it works, too, as you can see..."
The four look at Ramuko. The transformed Oni is trying not to flee from
her sister's presence. "You mean...if Lum wished to be a normal Earth girl,
this place could actually do it?!" Nokoko points at Ramuko.
"Exactly," Mujanba nods.
Ataru and Nokoko stare at each other. "But...what in the name of the
gods would make Lum-chan do that?!!" the former demands.
"Uh-oh!" realization crosses the latter's face. "I know what made her
do it, Ataru-chan. Remember when you wished that she was a normal girl and we
had that talk about wanting to destroy the illusion everyone has of Lum?!"
Ataru thinks for a moment, then pales. "You mean...?"
"She overheard us," Nokoko stares at Ramuko.
The transformed Oni smiles at them. "Okay, no problem, then!!" Ataru
nods. "I'll just go to Yumisei and wish for Lum to be back to normal..."
"You can't!" Mujanba interrupts.
"Why not?!" Ataru snaps.
"Simple," Mujanba crosses her arms. "Given the power of this place, if
you go there, you're courting life imprisonment when the Federation catches
you! If you make a wish, then it becomes the death penalty!!"
Ataru pales, then stares at Ramuko. "Then...if someone finds Lum's
scout there...and if Ramuko is turned back to Lum...then she'll...?!"
"Be either in jail for the rest of her life...or face the hangman,"
Mujanba sighs. "She's cornered no matter which way she turns."
"I think we better call Koosei and tell him," Nokoko sighs.
"I'll do it," Ataru moans.
He moves to leave, but is stopped when Ramuko gently hugs his arm.
"Anata, why are you so sad?" the transformed Oni looks concerned.
Ataru stares at her face, one as pure as Lum's...then finds himself
smiling. "Somehow, despite what's happened, I think Ataru and Lum might drift
closer than ever," Nicole muses, crossing her arms.
* * *
Koosei is immediately called and told the news. After considering the
options now possible, the homeroom teacher proceeds to the Moroboshis to
inform Kinshou and Muchi. Ten-chan overheard the news and within minutes, all
of Tomobiki is in an uproar. "***LUM-SAN'S BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A NORMAL
EARTH GIRL?!?!?!***" a wailing Megane demands when Koosei meets with his class
on the teacher's front porch later.
"Yes," Koosei nods. "According to what Ataru, Nokoko, Nicole and
Mujanba have concluded, Lum proceeded to the planet Yumisei where she wished
that she would no longer be an Oni. By the mere fact of her going there, Lum
faces life imprisonment if she's caught and tried. By her making that wish,
she now faces the death penalty!"
Total horror crosses everyone's face. "But...what can we do, Sensei?!!"
Kakugari demands. "We've got to try to find a way to make Lum-chan normal!!!"
"I know that, Daremo!!" Koosei growls. "However, if a *peep* of this
gets out to **anyone** in authority out there, Lum's as good as dead!!"
"But that'll happen when they find her scout on Yumisei!" Shinobu gulps.
"I know that," Koosei adjusts his glasses. "However, if I know
Nassur...and I do...once he finds Lum's scout, he'll come to the same
conclusions, then remove the damning evidence and keep this all very quiet.
At the same time, I'll pass on a secure note to Invader and tell him the bad
news. If we keep this quiet, there'll be no problems."
"Yes," Megane turns to Ten-chan, his glasses glittering. "Jariten, you
don't want to see your cousin hanged, do you?!"
"N-n-n-no...!!" Ten-chan fearfully shakes his head.
"You know how to keep your mouth shut?!" Paama hisses.
"No problem!! No problem!!!" the young Oni panics.
Everyone relaxes save Mendou and Mie. "That reminds me," the Kyushu
native muses, looking around, "...where's Lan?!!"
Everyone sees the Seishin girl trying to sneak off. "GET HER!!!!!!"
Mendou snap-draws his katana, pointing his blade at Lan.
A dog-pile of students buries Lan before she could escape! Mie grabs
her by the hair. "Hey, Shutaro, make yourself useful!!" she barks.
"Indeed I will!!" the scion of Japan's richest family snarls as he
readies himself, his blade swinging for the kill. "Hold that airhead still
and I'll make her a head shorter for all her sins against Lum-san!!!"
"Ryooki-sensei, do something!!!" Lan wails. "Save me!!!"
"Don't make a mess on the grass, Shutaro," Koosei turns away.
"Of course, Ryooki-sensei!" Mendou cackles...
...then stops as everyone hears Shinobu's horrified gasp. "Lum?!!"
Everyone stops, turning to see Ramuko walking up to them. "Oh, you
boors again!" she looks sick.
Many eyes do not swerve from Ramuko as everyone takes in the
alterations. Megane tearfully moves towards her. "This...this is
horrible...!" he gasps, reaching for her face and hair, hoping he would
somehow find the horns, green hair and tapered ears he knew so well.
"This...is a calamity! How...how...HOW could this have happened?!!"
"Maybe because you harassed her so much that she decided to take her
looks away from you!" an incensed Ataru appears beside Ramuko.
"WHAT?!?!?!" Megane bellows, then points accusingly at Ataru. "Ah-
hah!!! **You're** the one responsible for this outrage, you bastard!!!"
"Who, moi?!!" Ataru points to himself. "Now, how the hell could I've
pulled **this** off?!!" he points to Ramuko. "I didn't take a gun and force
Lum to go to this place and make her wish to be normal!!! That might've been
something I would've done before the Spirit War, but not now!!!"
Shock, anger, sadness and confusion rage on the boys faces. "Well, I
guess that means no more insane lunacy in Tomobiki!" Ryuunosuke sighs.
"How nice!" Shinobu claps her hands. "We'll never have to see idiots
like Benten, Oyuki and Lan ever again!!!"
"Hey, I'm still here, you bitch!!!" Lan howls.
"You won't be for long if I know Mendou," Ataru taunts.
The Seishin girl trembles as she notices Mendou's katana waving close to
her neck! "Onata, why don't we do inside?" Ramuko faces Ataru. "We don't
need to be around boors like these!!" she icily glares at her classmates.
"Lead on, m'dear!" Ataru triumphantly smiles.
They enter the house. "Mediocre!" Megane moans. "Mediocre!! Oh, that
is *not* Lum-san!! That is not **our** Lum-san!!! THAT IS NOT LUM-SAN!!!!"
Ten-chan's flame-breath roasts the boys! Everyone sees him crying. "If
it wasn't for **you**, Lum-chan wouldn't've done what she did!!!" he snaps.
Wailing, he flies to the Moroboshi home...
* * *
Within a day, Nassur retrieves Lum's scout from Yumisei. Oyuki ensures
that a message is transmitted to Captain Invader, informing him and his wife.
Security is maintained: Lan's ship is sabotaged to prevent the Seishin girl
from trying to signal someone in authority. For good measure, she is put on
ice thanks to Oyuki! Rei is dispatched on a deep-space mission away from
Earth. Ten-chan is sent on compassionate leave to see his parents, thus
preventing trouble if he came close to his transformed cousin.
An oppressive gloom has fallen over Tomobiki. While it is not as bad as
the times Lum departed Tomobiki, it is still present. Watching Ramuko walk to
school from her office, Sakura and Koosei note the haunted looks on the
guards' faces. "Ataru must be happy," the nurse muses, sipping her tea.
"Ataru takes no joy in this, Sakura-chan," the teacher adjusts his
glasses. "In a sense, this is the best thing to happen. Those idiots've
lived in a dream world since Lum's arrival. Reality may not be as pleasant,
but it's what's going to face them come February when Lum leaves."
"So what happens now?" she looks at him as Koosei turns to leave.
"I proposed to Invader to hold off trying to transform Lum back until
the term ends," he sighs, glancing at his former girlfriend. "He...saw the
logic, although it's going to be hard."
"True..." she nods as he leaves...
* * *
In English class, Mark Onsen walks Class 3-4 through a reading exercise.
The girls look as if all their worries have just evaporated. The boys barely
pay attention to their homework. "<The clone shrieked - the first sound Mara
could remembering hearing him make>," Onsen reads, "<...as he staggered
backward.>" He turns to the transformed Oni. "Ramuko-san, please read on!"
Megane smashes his fists into the desk! "How **dare** you address her
by that sick name, Onsen-sensei?!!" he roars. "CALL HER 'LUM-SAN!!!!!!'"
Onsen's chalk smashes Megane in the head! "How can we call her 'Lum'
when thanks to **you**, she no longer even *exists*, idiot?!!" Mie demands.
Megane faints! "WHAT?!?!?!"
"Of course!" the Kyushu native turns away. "The only real reason Lum-
chan would've turned herself into Ramuko-chan is to destroy the *icon* YOU
idiots made of her!!" She switches to English. "<Vengeance, oh what poetry
could be written for a grand occasion such as this?!!>"
Mie then gets a standing ovation from her female classmates. "Three
cheers for the end of the domination of Lum!!!" Natsuko calls.
A banzai cheer follows. Onsen looks ready to explode...when Ramuko's
hand touches his. "Forgive them, Sensei. They need to blow off some steam."
As soon as the noise abates, Onsen turns to Ramuko. "*Ramuko-san*,
please read the next passage!!" he commands.
The boys look incensed, but do not dispute the issue. "<He spun toward
the sound of her lightsaber>," the transformed Oni reads, "<...his face
twisted with anger and fear, his eyes still dazzled...>"
* * *
As the day crawls, the gloom among the male students becomes palatable.
Even the girls seem confused. Some good things...if Ataru was there...occur.
Mendou and the guards no longer flock around their "goddess." In fact, **no**
boy comes close to Ramuko. The news of the Yumisei prohibition Lum flaunted
to become Ramuko is harshly re-told to the class by Koosei during afternoon
homeroom. While some people take this transformation with stride, others seem
lost. At day's end when class cleanup occurs, Mendou, the guards, Shinobu and
Ryuunosuke sit on the teacher's desk. "Is this what growing up means?" the
scion of Japan's richest family sadly shakes his head. "Losing our loved ones
without hope of even keeping their memories?"
"What do we do?" Chibi gulps. "We've got to do something..."
"You **can** move your lazy butts off the desk!!!" a voice snaps.
They are dumped to the floor by Mie, she having boosted the desk with
one hand! "Ramuko-chan wants to clean the floor!!" the Kyushu native snorts,
nodding to the transformed Oni, who waits beside Mie, a mop in hand.
Incensed, Shinobu leaps up. "I've had it with you, you bitch!!!" she
leaps over to grab the book cabinet. "Time for you to learn your place!!!"
Mie appears unconcerned as the other students tremble, backing away from
the fight about to begin. Shinobu grabs the cabinet...and finds she cannot
move it! "Huh?!" she gasps, staring in confusion at the cabinet. Funny. It
did not seem that heavy before. Try again.
"Well?!" Mie sighs.
Shinobu grunts as she tries again to lift the cabinet. It does not
move! "What the...?!" she gasps, then with a bellow, tries again. Nothing!!
"C'mon, exlax!!!" Mie walks over, bopping Shinobu across the back of her
head with her broom handle! "We've got work to do!!! Haul ass!!!"
Shinobu yelps in shock, falling to the floor, staring in shock at the
cabinet, which to her now looks as imposing as the Tycho monolith from "2001."
"I...couldn't lift it...?!" she stammers, trembling in shock and confusion.
"Get to work, you lazy eggplant!!" Ramuko snaps as she mops the floor.
Numb, Shinobu rises to assist Ryuunosuke in moving desks. Mie watches
Ataru's ex-girlfriend lethargically move, concern crossing her face...
* * *
"Is this...victory?" Mal tearfully sighs as she sits with Ataru, Mie and
Nokoko in the dining room that evening in Oshika. "My sister having to
sacrifice her very sense of self to bring peace to our lives?! I celebrate
the destruction of the dreams those Purveyors of disUnity have forced on our
lives...but must it be at this cost?! Isn't there some way to bring her back,
to make her be herself again, Ataru-kun?!"
"Hard to tell," Ataru gently twirls his brandy snifter. "Reiko-chan's
happy. She knows that means no more of Ten-chan, no more of Lum's parents or
anything weird rising from Tomobiki!"
"You seem pleased," Mie muses.
"Pleased?!" he looks angry, bolting to his feet. "What the hell do you
take me for?!! I may have wished that Lum might be a normal girl...but if I'd
known that there was some place in this galaxy where she could go and actually
transform herself into a normal Earth girl, I would've kept my mouth shut!!!"
"Hey, settle down, both of you!!" Nokoko waves them down. "Snapping at
each other's not going to solve this problem!!"
"Besides, there's another thing we may have considered," he sips his
drink. "Lum's no idiot. She doesn't dive into any situation..." he looks to
the stars, "...without making sure nothing could go wrong. We...have to
assume that she made this decision with a sound mind and body before going."
"Gods, you make it sound like a damn will!!" Nokoko looks sick, then
glances at her life-mate. "Mal-chan, could you tell if there was something of
Lum-chan in Ramuko?"
"I could not, Beloved," she sighs. "The fact is, this transformation
does not change that which is core to Lum-chan's essence: her love for Ataru-
kun, her desire to marry him, not to mention her love of those who are her
friends and barely tentative tolerance for those Purveyors of disUnity in
Tomobiki. Ataru-kun is right...we must assume that this, painful as it is to
some, is what my sister...desired."
"Don't forget that 'assume' means you make an 'ass' out of 'you' and
'me,'" Mie warns, holding up a finger.
"But you said Lum's transformation has really started to hurt them,"
Nokoko stares at the Kyushu native. "Shinobu's strength is gone, for example.
The guys don't flock over Ramuko. That's what we've wanted all this time!"
"Yeah, although that's never bothered me," Mie nods. "Still, you have
to admire those dummies, sometimes. Their loyalty, their steadfastness.
They're there if you need them."
"That is something I've *never* minded when it came to them," Ataru
sighs. "It's **everything else** about them that make my skin crawl!"
"Well, you've forced some of them on separate lives," Mie looks at her
former classmate. "Everyone with half a brain knows that what you did for
Momoe, Kumiko and Natsuko is just a warm-up for what you might do to Mendou
and the guards. I know your uncle has female wards, too."
"Guilty as charged," Ataru blushes. "Just don't tell those jerks."
"I swear that no sound about your future nefarious deeds shall come from
me," Mie holds her hand up as if she was taking an oath.
Everyone laughs, then the three girls stare at Ataru. "What are you
thinking?" Nokoko gently prods.
"This was too easy," he sighs, looking down at his glass. An image of
Lum appears, which melts into an image of Ramuko. "I mean, it's the same idea
as what I want. Destroy the icon. Eliminate the competition so that there's
nothing which stands in the way of my marrying her. But...this was so damn
easy! One word from me and Lum turns around and does it!!"
"It shows how much she cares for you," Nokoko sighs. "It shows she's
finally come to understand that what you want counts, has to count if there's
going to be a successful relationship. It's worth something, isn't it?"
"Of course it is!" he readily nods. "If it didn't come at such a
cost...or is it a cost?...then I'd be jumping for joy!! I'd be proposing to
her right now, planning our wedding like she's done for so long!! But..." he
grits his teeth as he utters the last part, "...is this what Lum wants?!!"
"That we may never know," Nokoko sighs, standing...
* * *
Later that night, Ataru sits on the ledge over the living room, staring
at the stars. One star twinkles. Is it Uru? Sagussa, perhaps? Were the
stars telling him to transform his girlfriend to the way she was...or keep her
the way she is? Dare he do that? Did he have the power, the right to destroy
a sentient being? Ramuko Redetto was as much a sentient being, with her own
desires and goals, as much a right to live, as Lum Redet. No matter which
path he looked down, troubles innumerable stared back. "Hey?"
"Hi, Mie," he sighs as Mie joins him.
Both stare to the stars. "Well, is there a plan?" she stares at him.
"I can't say," he shakes his head. "I mean, Ramuko was created by Lum,
but Ramuko is as much her own person as Lum. If I keep Ramuko, I destroy Lum.
If I bring Lum back, I destroy Ramuko. Which way do I choose?"
"Hard question," she nods. "Then again, there's another thing you've
got to consider," she looks at him. "Lum has family back on Uru, friends like
Nassur, Benten, Oyuki and the others...even friends here on Earth...and that
doesn't mention a bond-mate back home in Noa-chan."
He looks at her. "You know of that?" he blinks.
"It's easy to tell every time I touch her. I may not remember if I
myself have a bond-mate waiting for me back home, but I can still tell."
Ataru nods, understanding that by the term "home," she means Sagussa.
"If Lum is now Ramuko, then her bond with Noa's shattered," Mie continues.
"Poor girl. She must be suffering, wondering if Lum is alive or dead."
"Are you trying to tell me something, Mie?" he glares at her. "Just
because Ramuko was created out of nothingness doesn't mean that she has less
right to exist than Lum!"
"But both can't exist at the same time!" she snaps. "Damn it, Ataru-
chan, regardless of what we do with Ramuko, we have to bring Lum back!!"
"Um...you don't have to bother," a voice calls from behind them.
Ataru and Mie spin around to see Lum standing there. "LUM?!?!?!" both
exclaim, falling out of the balcony to crash at the Oni's feet!
"Hi," she meekly smiles. "I'm back!" She then shamefully looks down.
"Sorry about this."
Ataru and Mie stare in disbelieving shock at the woman they just spent
time arguing about, then crying, leap up and embrace her...
* * *
"I knew if I wished I would be an Earth girl, that I'd be that way for
the rest of my life," Lum sighs as she explains matters to Ataru, Mie, Nokoko
and Mal. She sips her tea, then continues. "So, when I came to the Wishing
Well, I stipulated that if in any way Darling felt unsure about my becoming
Ramuko, I'd eventually and naturally revert to being plain old Lum!" She
looks down at herself. "As you see, that's exactly what happened!"
"Then why the hell didn't you tell anyone?!" Ataru snaps. "At least,
you should've told your parents...or me for that matter!! Don't I deserve to
know when my girlfriend goes off like that?!!"
"I did tell someone," Lum holds up a finger.
"Who?!!" everyone demands.
"Grandma," the Oni smiles.
Ataru's jaw drops. "Grandma knew about this?!!" he snaps, bolting to
his feet. "Why didn't she say anything when you disappeared?!!"
"Because I asked her to," Lum looks guilty. "Darling, I have to prove
to her that I do care for you! This seemed like a good opportunity!! Don't
worry, I was protected...and Nassur-chan did get my ship off Yumisei when he
came to look. There's no reason to fear what the Galactic Federation might
do! The evidence doesn't exist in case Lan tries to push the point!!" She
stares at Nokoko and Mie. "Besides, I wanted to know what being an Earth girl
was like. I can disguise myself anytime I want, but that still doesn't give
me the *feel* of what being native to this world is! My children are going to
be half-Terran. They're going to be raised here. What type of mother am I
going to be unless I know what they'll experience?!"
"But...what about Ramuko?" Mie looks concerned.
"I know...you were concerned about Ramuko's rights." Lum pats her
heart. "She was always a part of me. She always will be a part of me."
The Oni stares at Ataru. Disbelief, shock and a overwhelming sense of
confusion still shadow his face. "I think we'd better leave these two alone
for a while," Nokoko stands. "Want a bunk to sleep in, Mie?"
"Sure," the Kyushu native nods as she, Nokoko and Mal leave.
Once alone, Ataru and Lum stare at each other. "Darling...?" the Oni
gulps. "Please...I did this for us!! I never meant to hurt you!"
"Lum, much that I wish things were normal between us and those morons
down there, they aren't...!" he sighs.
"I know!!" she nods. "And I know that still didn't give me the excuse
to run off and destroy...even for a bit...what friendships I have!! Don't you
see, Darling?! I don't care about them! All I care...all I want...is you!!
My relationship with you is what truly matters!! For once, I didn't want to
care about what my parents thought, or Ten-chan, or my friends! I cared about
what **you** thought, what **you** wanted!! Isn't that enough?!"
Ataru tries to reply, but no sound escapes from his lips. Tears sting
his eyes as he stares at her...this beautiful, entrancing woman...before him.
And people still thought Lum a demon? Were they blind?! What demon would
willingly destroy her sense of self all for the happiness of her lover?! Was
Windy capable of this? Was any woman Ataru knew capable of this?
Finally, his own emotions crash through his barriers. Sobbing, he
tightly embraces Lum, happy that she had once again returned to his side. For
the first time, he realizes how much she loves him, she cares for him, she
wants him and only him...and how much he depends on her love, her devotion,
her desire for him. There is shame in his tears, for how could he possibly
consider himself equal to her, worthy of her? He found he was not. Despite
all his own power, despite all his attempts at making their lives easier,
despite all his attempts at bringing peace to his life...he still had tried to
dominate her life, had probably tried to dominate her life since they day they
met. That was even more shameful.
Ataru shakes his head, the tears still flowing. Lum remains silent as
he weeps, willing to allow him to vent his emotions at his own shortcomings...
*** The End ***