Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ The Senior Year ❯ Nagaiwakai's Lesson ( Chapter 30 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year: "Nagaiwakai's Lesson"
by Fred Herriot
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With thanks to Patrick Vera and Sean Gaffney for plot suggestions
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edited by E.B. Kushnir
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Twenty-fifth of a series of fan fiction stories based on "Urusei Yatsura,"
created by Rumiko Takahashi
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WRITER'S NOTES:

1) This is the final story of the "Drama Stories," carrying on the themes
which first appeared in "Forever My Lum" and will return after the third
Senior Year Special, when the "Before You Go..." series begins. Stay tuned!

2) In line with what we did when we bestowed the name "Fujimi Fujinami" on
Ryuunosuke's father, the name "Shin Shinowataru" is bestowed on Nagisa's
father since certain pre-AnimEigo fan-dubs of "Nagisa's Fiance" translated the
name "Shin Wataru."

3) For the Version 2.0 of this story, the Ryooko-Reigi encounter is updated
to conform with Sean Gaffney's side story "No Grudges." It is available at
the UY-TSY websites or by contacting Sean at gaffney@iconn.net.

4) HALO - High Altitude, Low Opening parachute jump. Where a person glides
from a high altitude almost to ground level before deploying a parachute.

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"So...Lum actually did it, eh?" Nagaiwakai Moroboshi muses.

The matriarch of the Moroboshi clan sits in her drawing room, sharing
tea with Ataru. Ataru came up to visit his grandmother, the only person
informed of Lum's plan to transform herself into the human Ramuko, to confirm
how Nagaiwakai felt towards his relationship with the Oni. "Yes, she did it!"
he gruffly nods. "You should be pleased."

"Pleased?!" she looks indignant. "I, bow to that creature's desires?!
If you don't mind, Ataru-chan, I just had breakfast!"

Ataru sighs. He had once sought refuge under Nagaiwakai's protection
when he had felt trapped by the brute domination of everyone in Tomobiki. Now
he wondered if that had been such a good idea. "Grandma, give Lum-chan a
break, please! Can't you for once let go of what she did a year ago?!"

Nagaiwakai projects an indignant glare. Ataru did not blame her. His
past problems with Lum obviously hurt Nagaiwakai, as if the Oni had struck the
matriarch herself instead of her grandson. Ataru knew very well that when
Nagaiwakai's hatred was aroused, it was nearly impossible for it to subside
into forgiveness. "Grandma, look. Lum-chan would rather die than see me
hurt. Can't you try to give her some leeway?"

"I'm afraid the matter has now left my hands," the matriarch sips her
tea. "You see, Ataru-chan, you've not paid attention to the ongoing debates
in the United Nations."

"What do you mean?"

She mirthlessly smiles. "Did you believe that if Lum reformed herself,
all would be forgiven? Be serious, Ataru-chan. You see, there are people on
Earth even less forgiving that I...and many of them are heads-of-state."

He shivers as she continues. "While you've been so ridiculously
accommodating to that Oni, they've been watching events in Tomobiki...and with
more than a casual eye for humour. They know what Lum's presence means: more
aliens. Many feel threatened, not only for themselves, but for the nations
Fate tasked them to lead. And many aliens who have come have not shown any
sort of respect towards Earth's own laws...least of all, Lum herself."

Ataru sighs. "Lum's learning! Look, all she cares about is forming a
relationship with me! What's so wrong with that?!"

"If that is what she now dedicates herself to pursuing, and if you're
willing to permit that, I shall not stand against her," Nagaiwakai nods.
"However, other aliens are on this planet for less...noble reasons."

She spoke truth there. Lan had come just to seek revenge on Lum. Ten-
chan tried to make Lum return to Uru. Once he had moved in, he acted as if
this was still Uru, believing the damage he caused to be normal. Kurama only
sought someone to father of her child. Not a stellar cast by far. "I can
agree with that," he nods. "Very few've followed the letter of the Non-
Interference Treaty! Why do you think Koosei Ryooki's living in Tomobiki? If
it wasn't for that, he'd've stayed off-planet!"

"Perhaps," she sighs. "However, Ataru-chan, I for one do not desire to
have Earth's fate decided on Tofunokoibito."

He nods. If anyone knew him, truly knew him, it was his grandmother.
"Okay," he sighs. "What happens now?"

"If another major incident occurs, the United Nations will have no
choice but to enforce Resolution 444," she sips her tea. "When that becomes
law, Earth will seek protection under the Zephyrites' Non-Interference Edict.
All aliens not citizens of the Republic of Zephyrus will be forcibly expelled.
The Tritonians' Central Warp Chamber will be re-programmed to ensure no one
can proceed to Earth by those means. A crusade fleet will be posted on Mars
to act as a visible deterrent should other races decide to contest the issue."

Other races meaning the Niphentaxians, the Ipraedies and the Seifukusu
Dominion, Ataru mentally notes. "Well, I suppose if the U.N. feels it's
necessary, then it's necessary," he sips his tea.

Nagaiwakai smiles at Ataru's approval. He keeps his emotions neutral.
All aliens not citizens of the Republic of Zephyrus, she said. There were
ways for Lum to get around that...and *only* Lum, Ataru smiles.

Could we sing "Here Comes the Bride"...?

* * *

"...and that's the warning Grandma gave me," Ataru sighs as he relaxes
in Koosei's living room.

The homeroom teacher/Galactic Federation observer sighs. "Well, I
suppose the U.N. has the inherent right to do that," he rubs his eyes, then
replaces his glasses. "But that'll really put the kibosh on your relationship
with Lum. Once Four-forty-four goes into effect, she's history!"

"Oh, really?" Ataru chuckles.

Koosei looks surprised. "What?! You mean there's a way out of your
grandmother's nefarious plot?! Pray elucidate, my friend!"

Ataru snickers. "Well, have we forgot that I'm a Zephyrite citizen?"

The teacher blinks. "Oh, right!!" he nods, laughing.

"Koosei, is Darling here?!" Lum calls as she flies inside.

"Right here, Lum-chan!" he looks over his shoulder.

Lum lands, then receives an embrace and kiss. "Hey, sexy, let's go
someplace private and I'll show you how much I love you," he playfully growls.

"Mm...love to, but I can't," she shakes her head.

"Why not?!" he looks perplexed.

"Nassur-chan is paying me back for getting my ship off Yumisei without
the Federation getting wind of it," the Oni sighs.

"Oh?! What has the blackguard done now?!" Ataru playfully growls.

Lum looks over her shoulder. "He's asked me to babysit her for the next
couple of weeks," she sighs.

Ataru and Koosei see Hazel standing at the door. "Hi, everyone," the
hybrid meekly waves, acting as if she has entered a lion's den.

"Oh, hell!!" the former student throws up his hands. "Couldn't cash
payment for services rendered be enough?!!"

"Well, Nassur-chan is being pursued by Varanko-sama to get Hazel-chan to
behave herself," Lum looks meek. "Don't forget that she spent eight years
alone on Barsoom. She's had little exposure to civilization."

"I know that!" Ataru points at Hazel. "But I hope you understand that
the Ipraedies went through a hell of a lot of trouble to create her! If they
find out she's here, they might try to grab her!!"

"If they don't want to risk all-out war with the Yehisrites, they'll
stay away!" Lum counters. "Darling, I know that you don't like her, but she
does deserve the chance to be with people who like her!!"

They stare at each other. "Oh, alright!" he nods.

Lum looks ecstatic. "*But* she does not come to Oshika, **period**!!!"
Ataru warns.

Lum looks shocked. "But...why?! Darling, I don't want her near
Shinobu! You know she'll try to get close to Nassur-chan!"

"Lum-chan, Nassur and Benten are *married*, remember?!" Ataru sighs.

"Shinobu doesn't know that," Koosei interrupts.

Ataru and Lum stare at the teacher. "She doesn't?" the Oni hums.

"No, she doesn't," Koosei stands. "She was in Florida when you and
Ataru went on that weird time-trip. Everyone's afraid to tell her in fear
that she'll go berserk and take it out on them. She'll also go after you when
she finds out what role you played in getting them married," he projects a
knowing glance at Ataru.

"So?!" Ataru looks disgusted. "She doesn't scare me anymore! Besides,
a little dose of reality'll do her a world of good!"

"I can tell her," Hazel volunteers.

The three stare at the hybrid. "I wouldn't advise that," Ataru shakes
his head, then looks at Lum. "As long as she stays out of my hair, I won't
mind her being here! But if there's one screw-up, she goes home! Got it?!"

"Got it!" she nods.

Ataru departs. Lum is concerned as he goes. "What's wrong with
Darling?" she looks at Koosei. "Why's he so upset?"

"He just came from his grandma's," the teacher sighs. "I've got some
bad news, Lum...although for you, it wouldn't be too much of a problem..."

* * *

The next day, Lum and Hazel proceed to Tomobiki High School. The hybrid
wears a beautiful loose-fitting white canvas shirt over baggy jeans. The
weather has cleared over the previous days, above freezing with all the snow
melted away. "Thanks for getting this for me, Lum-sensei," the hybrid smiles.
"That nice woman at the boutique really knows clothes!"

"Everyone in the district goes to Esmerelda's," the Oni smiles. "She's
the best clothier in all Japan, according to Shutaro's sister Ryooko."

"Yeah...and her accent's really funny!" Hazel giggles.

"Well, she's from England," Lum smiles. "It's an island on the other
side of Earth. The English once possessed the largest empire Earth's ever
seen. That's why English is the predominant language on Earth. If you want
to keep coming to Earth, you'll have to learn how to speak it, too."

"I'll try," Hazel nods. "But...Lum-sensei, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" Lum looks down.

"Does Ataru hate me?"

The Oni considers the question. "Well...I know Darling didn't take well
to you when you first came," she sighs. "And he was tortured by the Ipraedies
on Icarus. He doesn't like Ipraedies...and I think he still sees you as one,
despite you being cared for by Nassur-chan."

The hybrid looks confused. "But I want to be Vosian!"

"Of course you will be," Lum places a reassuring hand on Hazel's
shoulder. "It'll just take time, after all. Don't rush anything."

"Okay," the latter nods...then looks. "Eh?! What's going on?!"

Lum and Hazel stop at the school's front gate. Now on the front steps,
the bodyguards hold a rally. Many students crowd around them. Mie leans
against the fence reading the paper. The headline proclaims WILL ALIENS BE
EXPELLED FROM EARTH?! Below that is written UNITED NATIONS DEBATES ON
RESOLUTION 444! ONCE AGAIN, ATARU MOROBOSHI IS AT FAULT!! FEAR FOR YOUR
LIVES, CITIZENS OF TOMOBIKI! "What's going on, Mie-chan?!" Lum wonders.

"Oh, they just found out about the debates over Resolution 444," Mie
folds her paper. "And as usual, they blame one person."

"Darling, right?" Lum looks sick.

"The one and only," Mie nods, then notices Lum's companion. "Oh, hi,
Hazel! What brings you back to Earth?!"

"Oh, I just came to visit Lum-sensei!" the hybrid smiles. "Why are they
blaming what the U.N.'s doing on Ataru?" she points at the crowd.

"What else?!" Mie crosses her arms. "They don't want to blame
themselves, so they automatically look for a scapegoat!"

Hazel interprets what Mie said, then looks incensed. "That's wrong!!"

"Try telling that to them!" the Kyushu native sighs.

"I will!!!" the hybrid nods.

Lum and Mie watch as Hazel storms through the crowd, then grabs the
megaphone from Megane. "Give me that!!!" the hybrid snaps.

"Hazel?!!" Megane looks surprised. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm here to tell you what idiots you are in trying to blame Ataru for
what's going on with your U.N.!!" the hybrid snaps.

"'Idiots?!!'" the guards' leader snaps. "What makes you say that?!!"

"Du-uh!!!" Hazel angrily barks, causing Megane to back away. "Yukio-
chan's told me everything about what you dorks've tried to do to Ataru so you
can get your hands on Lum-sensei!! I may not know what relationships are
like, but I do know that you don't butt your noses into one!!!"

"Oh?!!" Megane growls. "Do you know if the U.N. passes that damn
resolution of theirs, Lum-san's heart will be broken?!!"

"Oh, you really **are** an idiot!" Hazel laughs. "Ataru's a Zephyrite
citizen!!! Once he marries Lum-sensei, she can stay on Earth!!!"

"That's what we're so mad about!!!" Paama growls.

"What?!" the hybrid stares at the tallest of the guards.

"Ataru *marrying* Lum-chan!!" Paama sneers.

"***YOU JERK, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP THAT?!?!?!***" Hazel bellows.

The guards are blasted back by the wall of noise. "Hazel-chan!" Shinobu
suddenly appears beside her, looking quite pleased at this turn of events.
"You've come to visit!!! Oh, how nice...!!"

She gets beaned by Hazel's megaphone! "Hubby-stealer!!!" the hybrid
snarls. "Stay away from me!!! Don't you know that Sensei...?!!"

Mendou claps her mouth shut. "Idiot, don't tell her!!" the scion of
Japan's richest family hisses. "She'll take it out on us!!!"

Mendou then howls as Hazel bites his hand! "Get your hands off me, you
jerk!!!" the hybrid snarls as she shoves Mendou away.

Shinobu then rises, quite angry by Hazel's actions. "'Hubby-stealer?!'"
she snarls as she moves to give the hybrid a spanking. "How dare you...?!!"

She gets clocked by Koosei's Saturn Five!!!! "LEAVE THAT POOR CHILD
ALONE, YOU TWIT!!!!!!" the teacher thunders.

Everyone backs away from Koosei as he turns to head inside. "Miyaki,
you have a month's detention for trying to abuse Hazel-chan!!" he snaps. "And
as of now, straight from Nassur, you're no longer her social instructor!! He
asked me to find someone better tempered to the job than you!!!"

Shinobu is speechless. The crowd disperses as Hazel jaunts back to join
Lum and Mie. "Well, welcome back to Tomobiki, Hazel-chan," the Oni sighs.

"Thanks," the hybrid looks up. "I think."

* * *

"Ah, it's good to have nice food again!" Hazel smiles as she eats the
sukiyaki Ataru's mother prepared in celebration of her arrival that evening.
Also joining the table is Mie. "What do you think, Mie-sempai?"

"Me?!" the Kyushu native hums. "Ah, this is okay, but wait until I get
you to my house! After Mom and Tamiko-chan get through stuffing you to your
gills, you'll be as big as a balloon!!"

"No way!" the hybrid leaps behind Lum.

Everyone laughs. "Well, at least it's pleasant that I no longer have to
cook for that traitorous glutton I wish was never born!" Kinshou snorts as she
cleans up the dishes, then marches into the kitchen.

Hazel looks surprised. "Does she mean Ataru?" she whispers.

"That's him!" Ten-chan nods.

"How could she say that about her own son?!" Hazel shakes her head.

"Why'd you think Darling disowned her?" Lum sighs.

Hazel stands, walking to the kitchen door. Inside, Kinshou is muttering
as she washes dishes. "...living closer to that lesbian, old Broken Balls and
that cow than his own parents, who toiled and suffered to give him a good
life! How dare that idiot do that to us?! I wish he was never born...!"

Hazel returns to Lum's side. "Um, Lum-sensei...I know that Ataru's
sister is a lesbian and 'Broken Balls' means his uncle...but who's the cow?!"

"That's his grandmother," the Oni sighs. "She's a cattle farmer."

"I thought she's a Righteous Gentile," the hybrid crosses her arms.

"She's that, too," Lum nods. "But it's because that she is a cattle
farmer that she became a Righteous Gentile. Without her, a half-dozen
Zephyrite colonies would've starved without food."

"Oh!!" Hazel hums. "So why does Ataru's mom hate her?!"

"If I knew that, Hazel-chan, I'd know the secrets of the universe," the
Oni sighs. "Personally, I think Darling did the right thing to leave!!"

"Amen to that!" Mie nods in agreement.

"But...she's his mother?" Hazel points to the kitchen. "I mean, even if
she's a mean, old, spiteful bat, she still deserves his love!"

"Hazel-chan," Lum sighs. "Darling did love her...but she never loved
him back. She never appreciated how much he did care for her. All she was
happy about is the fact that because of Darling, Ten-chan and I came.
Besides, Grandma is the only one outside Nokoko-chan who cares for Darling!
She wants the best for him! Granted, that's put Grandma at odds with me since
we both have different ideas of what's best for Darling, but that doesn't mean
that Grandma *doesn't* love Darling...which is far more than I could possibly
say about Darling's mother!!"

The last part of the Oni's statement clearly echoes in the kitchen.
Hearing that, Kinshou explodes!! "THAT COW!!!!!!"

She runs out the back door to moo towards Rishiri-tou. A second later,
the *thwack!* of a hammer hitting her is heard!! Lum, Hazel, Ten-chan and Mie
peek down the hallway to see Kinshou crushed under Koosei's thousand-tonne
hammer. "Boy, she doesn't get it, does she?!" the young Oni sighs.

"True," the Kyushu native moans. "She's the least clueless of the lot
who live in this dump!!"

Hazel watches as Ataru's mother tries to recover. What type of person
was Nagaiwakai Moroboshi, anyway...?

* * *

The next day during gym class, Hazel and Lum spar using bo staffs near a
cherry tree. Everyone else watches from the side. "I'll give her this,"
Momoe sighs, "...Lum's a darn good teacher when it comes to martial arts."

"Hey, she learned from Nassur, remember?" Kumiko muses.

"That's right," Momoe nods.

"Still, I hear the *best* teacher around is Dakejinzou Shogai," Natsuko
muses. "After all, she's training Ataru."

"How **dare** you imply that robot is better than Lum-san's teacher?!!"
Megane howls...

...then gets smashed by a concrete block! "Hey!!!" Hazel growls as
Megane is flung into a wall. "Next crack about Sensei's friend and **I'll**
make sure you won't be around to pester Ataru anymore!!"

"Is that a promise?" Ataru's voice is heard.

Everyone spins around to see Ataru arrive. "Hey, Ataru, what brings you
around?!" Ryuunosuke waves.

Mendou shivers, then leaps at his rival. "Moroboshi, you bastard...!!!"

...then gets shot in the side! "Leave him alone!!" a voice barks.

Everyone notices that Dakejinzou had come with their former classmate.
"Oh, hi, Darling, Dakejinzou-chan!" Lum waves.

"Hello, Lum," the tailed huntress holsters her pistol, then takes notice
of Hazel. "Hello, Hazel-chan!"

The hybrid stares in awe as the synthezoid approaches. "N-nice t-to s-
see you again, Shogai-sama...!" she bows very low.

"Well, what was that crack about Nassur being better than she is?!" Mie
snidely glares at Megane.

The guards' leader is speechless. Dakejinzou looks at Lum. "Lum, why
don't you take a break for a bit. Let me have a crack at her."

"Okay!" Lum nods, offering the bo staff.

"No, thanks, Lum," the huntress shakes her head. "I don't use those."

The Oni nods, then withdraws from the court. Dakejinzou slips off her
holster, chains, arm guards and loin shields, then hands them to Ataru.
Walking onto the court, she faces Hazel. "The game is simple. You task is to
knock me off my feet. Begin!!"

Shaking her head, Hazel lets out a Yehisrite battle cry, then charges at
the huntress, the staff poised for the kill. Everyone watches in disbelief as
Dakejinzou remains in place, not flinching. A second later, Hazel is smashed
back-first into the ground! "Not good enough!" Dakejinzou snaps, letting
Hazel get to her feet. "Try again!!"

The hybrid howls as she lunges again, this time using the staff to sweep
the huntress off her feet. Dakejinzou's *tail* snakes down, snaring the
staff. Hazel is then vaulted into the tree! "Still not good enough!!" the
huntress takes the staff in hand, then tosses it aside. "What is Natsu-chan
trying to teach you?! Try again!"

"H-hai..." the hybrid drops unceremoniously to the ground, then catching
her breath, roars as she lunges at Dakejinzou.

Everyone watches as the huntress catches Hazel's fists, then with a
circular sweep, nearly breaks her back on Dakejinzou's thigh! Hazel drops
semi-conscious to the ground, panting for breath. The huntress remains calm.
"Not good at all, Hazel! You're thinking is too linear!! Then again, almost
every hunter I've come across thinks the same way!"

"S-sorry," Hazel pants.

"And don't apologize!!" Dakejinzou barks, stepping back a pace. "Your
enemies won't ask for your apology when they've sliced your innards and
spilled them on the ground after defeating you! If you want to be a good
hunter, think holistically!! Everything in life's a circle! Remember that
and you *might* have a chance to succeed, both as a hunter and elsewhere!!"

"H-hai...!" Hazel pants.

"Hey!!" Shinobu bolts to her feet. "Is that the way you normally treat
someone, you android?! She's a little girl!!! Give her a break!!"

She then gets a slap from her ex-boyfriend! "I warned you, Miyaki!"
Ataru snarls. "Stop calling Dake-chan an android!!"

Hazel recovers, giving Shinobu a disgusted glare. "I can see why Sensei
never wanted anything to do with you!!" her voice drips scorn.

Hearing that, Shinobu bellows as she grabs Ataru, then sends him flying
head-first at Hazel. "You little brat, behave yourself!!!"

Hazel yelps as she ducks, allowing Ataru to hit a nearby tree. His head
bounces off the bark as he falls to the ground! Seeing this, Lum turns around
and lets Shinobu have it!! "YOU BITCH, HOW DARE YOU?!?!?!" she roars.

Shinobu screams as the lightning burns into her! Hazel looks at Ataru
in shock, then her eyes glow. "I c-can't detect A-ataru's b-brainwaves...!"

Hearing that, Lum stops. "What?!!" she spins around.

"I...I th-think he's dead...!" the hybrid stammers.

The others gasp, hopeful looks on the boys' faces while the girls look
shocked. Letting out a murderous snarl, Lum spins on Shinobu. "You...you
bitch!!!" she growls. "***HERE'S MY DIVINE PUNISHMENT!!!!!!***"

Shinobu scream as Lum emits a killing blast...just as Ataru's eyes open,
now glowing. His skin pales as tiger-striping appears. "*SO...*" a dirge-
like voice utters. "*WHO LET ME OUT THIS TIME?!*"

Everyone is paralyzed as Ataru rolls to his feet, then turns to face the
hapless students. "*WELL, WELL, WELL!*" the teen mirthlessly chuckles.
"*WHAT HAVE WE HERE?! A BUNCH OF LAMBS READY FOR THE SLAUGHTER!*"

"Oh, no!!!" Lum pales with fright. "It's out again...!!!"

A psychic laser later leaves Ataru's former classmates a burned heap on
the lawn some distance away. Dakejinzou drops back to keenly observe the
*saikoo jinseijitsu* in action as it turns its attention on Lum. "*IT SEEMS I
GET A CHRISTMAS PRESENT THIS YEAR IF FATE BROUGHT **YOU** IN MY RANGE, ONI!*"

Lum braces herself. Before she could attack, Hazel leaps in front of
her, bo staff ready. "Stay back!!! This woman is under my protection!!!"

"*EH?!*" the possessed teen seems amused. "*AN IPRAEDIES?! HOW NICE!
I'VE SOME WORDS FOR YOU, TOO!!!*"

Hazel lets out a roar as she lunges. "***I'M VOSIAN!!!!!!***"

A second later, her bo staff flies away! "*NO, YOU'RE NOT!*" Ataru
mirthlessly cackles. "*THE VOSIAN AND YEHISRITE PARTS OF YOU ARE TOO SMALL TO
BE COUNTED!! IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE IPRAEDIES, THIS ONI BITCH WOULD NOT BE
TRYING TO SAVE THIS GIRL-CHASING MORON FROM ME!!!*"

"I've taken on some nasty customers before!!" Hazel takes a ready
stance. "I can take you on, too!!!"

"*OH, REALLY?!*" the possessed teen chuckles. "*VERY WELL, IPRAEDIES!
AMUSE ME...IF YOU **DARE!!***"

Roaring, Hazel lunges to the attack. "Hazel, no!!!" Lum cries. "He's
not Darling!!! Don't do this...!!!"

Lum winces as Hazel's head then slams into a nearby tree! "*SUCH NAKED
AGGRESSION!*" Ataru spins around, his hands moving in a tai-chi motion. "*IT
MUST BE CONTROLLED!! **AIR WHIRLPOOL HEAT-FIRE STRIKE!!!!!!***"

A fireball races at the hybrid! Hazel yells as she leaps clear, nearly
engulfed by the blast of psycho-thermal energy!! She slides into the front
sidewalk as a whole section of Tomobiki disappears. Hazel has barely enough
time to recover as Ataru strides toward her. "*WHERE'S YOUR HAUGHTY TALK NOW,
GIRL?! I CAME WITHIN A HAIR'S BREADTH OF KILLING YOUR TEACHER...AND SHOULD HE
EVER COME BACK TO HARASS ME ANEW, I **WILL!!!!!!***"

Hazel moans as she feels several ribs give way. "*OH, DEAR!*" the
possessed teen poo-poohs. "*DID YOU BREAK SOME RIBS?! PERMIT ME TO RE-SET
THEM!!" A second later, the hybrid is deluged by a hurricane of fists!!
"***TYPHOON WIND-FIST!!!!!!***"

Hazel is belted time and time again by the machine-gun speed blows!!!
The force of the compressed air from the punches shatters the trees behind
her, not to mention burrowing a massive crater in the earth. A tree nearly
collapses on the hapless hybrid, but she is able to dive clear! Ataru turns
away, devilishly eyeing Lum. "*TOO EASY!*" the creature snickers. "*NOW,
ONI, IT'S YOUR TURN...EH?!*" he spins around.

"Hazel!!!" Lum gasps.

The hybrid slowly rises, moving once more into a ready stance. "*MY!*"
a touch of mock admiration is in Ataru's voice. "*SUCH SPIRIT IN AN
IPRAEDIES! HOW STRANGE!! HERE...PERMIT ME TO RECONFIGURE YOUR STANCE!!*" he
cackles as geo-thermal energy forms. "***EARTH-HEART FIRE-GEYSER!!!!!!***"

Hazel leaps out of the way as the funnel of thermal energy sweeps
around, wrecking half of Tomobiki High School along the way!!! Pedestrians
stop as they see what is happening, then remembering the Spirit War, flee.
Reporters try to make sense of the situation but are soon deluged by the
frightened masses. Meanwhile, Ataru moves in on the panting Hazel. "*WHAT'S
THE MATTER, LITTLE GIRL?!*" he growls. "*ALL THE FIGHT OUT OF YOU BY NOW?!!*"

"I haven't...struck my...colours yet!!" she takes a ready pose. "You
are...the most...evil thing...I've ever...seen!!!"

"*'EVIL?!'*" the possessed teen looks surprised. "*WHY DO YOU BELIEVE
ME EVIL?! I ONLY DESIRE THAT WHICH YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE RECEIVED BY RIGHT OF
BIRTH; A LIFE I CAN CALL MY OWN! AND I SHALL HAVE MY CHANCE EVEN IF I MUST
LAY WASTE TO THIS WHOLE DEN OF MADMEN TO DO IT!!*"

Hazel steels herself, then charges at Ataru, her arms protectively flung
in front of her. Seeing her suicide charge, the possessed teen laughs, then
moves to launch another round of the typhoon wind-fist. Before his first
punch can go out, Hazel screams, "NOW, SENSEI!!!!!!"

Lum leaps up into the air, a lightning ball in hand. "Back you go, you
monster!!!" she howls as she fires the bolt!

Before the *saikoo jinseijitsu* could react, he is hit in the back of
the head by the blast of energy!! Howling with helpless rage, the creature
falters as Hazel rams into him, knocking Ataru to the ground. The hybrid
collapses beside the teen as they mercifully pass out. "DARLING!!!!!!" Lum
flies down to comfort Ataru as Sakura runs out, medical bag in hand.

The nurse kneels beside Hazel, moving to still her shattered ribs.
"Hang on, Hazel!" she comforts the wounded apprentice. "Help's here, now!!"

The hybrid smiles as consciousness briefly returns to her. "I'm
Vosian..." she gasps. "I'm Vosian..."

Hazel passes out. "Yes, you are," an admiring Sakura nods...

* * *

Later, a bandaged Hazel sits on the front porch of the Moroboshi home.
Classes are canceled as the school is repaired from the destruction. Lum has
gone to Oshika to care for Ataru. "Boy, when Benten-sensei said that monster
was mean, she wasn't kidding!" the hybrid sighs as she remains still, allowing
her body to mend. Her eyes flash gold as Mendou and the guards approach.
"Oh, what do you idiots want?!!" she looks away, snorting.

"We just came by to see how you're doing," Megane smiles, sitting beside
her. "After all, everyone thinks you're a hero. You're the first one to
stand up to that monster inside Ataru's head and actually defeat it!"

"Oh?!" Hazel icily glares at Megane. "The first one who actually took
on that creep is Lum-sensei and Ataru's Cyborg half...or do you conveniently
forget him to make everyone support you?!"

The guards' leader shivers, then brushes the ice off him. "Relax,
Hazel-chan," Mendou smiles, squatting in front of the hybrid. "Believe it or
not, we're on your side. It wasn't your fault that you had to face that
monster inside Moroboshi without any proper warning!"

"That's true," Hazel muses. "I just like to know who put that monster
inside Ataru's head in the first place!"

"His grandmother," Megane immediately answers.

Hazel looks surprised. "You mean the weird woman Ataru's mother moos to
every day?!" she thumbs the house behind her.

Megane nods. "Listen...you haven't been around here much since last
time, so you really don't know of the changes which occurred since you left!"

"What changes?!" she looks curious.

"Well, as you noticed by now, Ataru's got an attitude as big as a
battleship!" Paama explains.

"Yeah..." she nods.

"What's worse, that insensitive grandmother of his annulled every
attempt Lum-chan made to marry Ataru!" Chibi adds.

"What?!" she looks surprised.

"And the final straw is that Ataru's grandmother is conspiring now to
break them apart...and this time, make it permanent!!!" Kakugari concludes.
"Why do you think he lives in another town?!! That's all her doing!!!"

"What?!!" Hazel bolts up in rage. "Who gave this cow the right to do
that to Lum-sensei?!!"

"That's the worst part of it!!" Megane snarls. "Ataru might think that
his grandmother has his best interests in heart, but she's trying to dominate
him, all to hurt Lum-san!!" He leans close, lowering his voice to a
conspiratorial whisper. "So, Hazel-chan...care to make Lum-san happy?!"

"How?!!" she stares at him.

"Shutaro-kun here will send you to Rishiri-tou...that's where the bitch
lives! Get up there and beat the snot out of her...and show her that Lum-
san's **real** friends won't tolerate that cow's interference in her life!!!"

The hybrid considers his words. She liked Lum a lot. She was now
starting to appreciate all of Ataru's good points. But if their lives were
being influenced by a third party, all to make sure that Lum would never be
happy, then something had to be done! "I will!!!" she nods.

Hazel eagerly follows the scion of Japan's richest family off the
property. The guards remain in place. When she has faded from view, all four
howl derisively. "Aisuru-kun, that was brilliant!!!" Kakugari slaps his
friend's back, nearly causing Megane to double over.

"Naturally!!" the guards' leader adjusts his glasses. "There's no way
in hell that those idiot servants up there could stop a hunter trained by
Nassur...and even better, is a great-grandchild of Varanko!!" He devilishly
smiles at the guards. "That ageless bitch is finished!!!"

"My, is that true?" someone asks.

The guards turn to see Kinshou there, a tray full of cake and tea in
hand. "Would you four care to join me?" she dryly chuckles.

The four emit war-whoops as they relax with Ataru's mother. Unseen by
any of them, Koosei has eavesdropped on what has occurred from the safety of
his back yard. The teacher heads inside, dialling a number in Oshika...

* * *

Several hours later, a Mendou Clan C-5A Galaxy transport flies at
maximum altitude to the south of Rishiri-tou. In the jump deck, Mendou helps
Hazel into a parachute harness. "Now, you remember what I told you?!" the
scion of Japan's richest family calls over an intercom line.

"I do!!" Hazel flashes a thumbs-up. "See you later!!!"

She dives from the Galaxy in a perfect HALO extraction. Gliding toward
the circular volcanic rock split from centre to south coast by the wide swath
of Nagaiwakai's farm, Hazel grins with anticipation. "Here I come!!"

As she reaches the perfect altitude, she yanks the rip cord. The chute
deploys. Hazel lands on her backside in the middle of a pasture. The
parachute cascades over her, the cloth being light enough to permit sunlight
to shine through and keep her claustrophobia in check. "I made it!!" she
pulls the chute away...and looks right into the face of a cow! "YIKES!!!!!!"

The cow moos. She looks around, finding herself in the midst of a large
herd, all quizzically staring at her. Packing the chute away, she looks
around. "Er...any of you named Nagaiwakai Moroboshi?" she wonders.

Her eyes glow. "What are you doing here?!" a voice demands.

Hazel turns toward her speaker. Her eyes then turn up to stare on the
face of Brother Sunfire. The monk's eyes narrow as the hybrid fearfully
shudders. "Er...hi!" she giggles, blushing, giving him a friendly wave.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?!" he crosses his arms.

"Er...I'm Hazel...!"

The monk nods. "Ah, yes! Miss Lum's guest!" He then indicates the
mansion house. "The house is that way."

"Er...thanks!" Hazel nods as she walks away.

"You're welcome," Brother Sunfire turns to tend to the cows.

Hazel makes her way through the herd toward Nagaiwakai's farmhouse. She
is awed by the sheer splendor of the place. Arriving at the back porch, she
notices a servant. "May I help you, young lady?" he dryly inquires, bowing.

"Um...I'm looking for some old lady named Nagaiwakai Moroboshi," Hazel
shivers at the servant's gaze.

An pained look flickers across his face. "There are no *old* people
here," he icily declares, sounding like an atypical English butler, "...but
the Lady Nagaiwakai is entertaining guests in her drawing room!" He indicates
a door. "Through there, third door on the right."

The servant walks away. "What a strange place!" Hazel shivers.

She walks into the home, walking to the door in question. As she
arrives, her eyes flash gold. Gasping, she throws open the door and stares
inside. "Sensei!!! Benten-sensei!!! Lum-sensei!!!"

Nassur, Benten and Lum sit in the drawing room's depressed pit. "It's
about time you got here," the Vosian smiles.

"Hey, kid, close the door, huh?!" the Fukunokami winks, sipping her tea.
"The flies are getting in here! You born in a barn?!"

Hazel shuffles inside, her jaw scraping the floor. "But...how?!!"

Lum stands, walking over. Hazel notes an annoyed stare on the Oni's
face. "You're lucky Koosei called and told us about this little stunt!!" she
wags a finger at the hybrid. "Do you know what could've possibly happened to
you if you were caught assaulting Grandma?!!"

Hazel hesitates, then as she realizes what Mendou and the guards did to
her, starts to weep. "I...I...I'm sorry...!" she wails, leaning into Lum.

"Oh, there, there!" Lum pats her student's head. "It's okay! No one's
angry! You couldn't help it if Megane sweet-talked you into coming here!"

The crying hybrid is escorted to sit beside Nassur. "So, where is the
old hag that's supposed to live in this palace, anyway?!" Benten looks around.

"Benten!" Lum hisses, wincing. "If you call Grandma that, Nassur'll end
up a widower again!!"

"But...how did you get here?" Hazel looks between Lum and her guardians.

"We were in Oshika when Koosei called," Nassur smiles. "After all, our
first attempt at a honeymoon was interrupted. After Koosei called, we decided
that there's going to be a change of plans for you."

"What?" Hazel looks curious.

"You're going to stay here," Nassur smiles.

Hazel blinks. "Me?!! Here?!!" she points down.

"Sure," the Vosian nods. "After all, Lum's busy at school all day and
Ataru...well, doesn't want to really put up to you as of yet. Besides, if
you're up here, you're away from Tomobiki and everyone there."

"Okay," the hybrid nods.

Nassur's eyes glow. "Ah, that must be the elderly lady now," he muses.

"'Elderly lady?!'" a voice exclaims. "You, sir, presume too much!!"

Nassur, Benten and Hazel spin around to see Nagaiwakai standing behind
them, now dressed in her work dungarees and T-shirt. Their jaws drop to the
floor on seeing what to them is the impossible sight of an eighty year old
looking Sakura's age! "Wh-wh-who are y-y-you...?!!" the Vosian stammers.

Brother Sunfire appears beside Nagaiwakai. "Hello, Nassur. This is the
Lady Nagaiwakai Moroboshi PRCZ," the monk performs the introductions.

"Y-y-you're not old!!!" Hazel stammers.

"Old?!!" Nagaiwakai feels herself. "Do I look old, Darklight?!"

"As enchanting as ever, Mistress," Brother Sunfire lightly bows.

"Well, then..." Nagaiwakai muses as she sternly faces Nassur. "There's
only one thing left to do."

Benten faints when the matriarch leaps into the Vosian's arms! "Natsu-
chan!!!" she girlishly squeals.

Lum, Benten and Hazel stare in disbelief while Nassur is still in a
state of shock. "YOU **KNOW** EACH OTHER?!?!?!" the three exclaim.

"I...d-don't...remember...you...!" the Vosian stammers, then laughs, his
face flushing in embarrassment at her advance.

"What?!!" Nagaiwakai leaps to her feet. "You don't remember the time
when you and that rude first wife of yours came to Earth looking for that mean
Zeiwanite teacher who kidnapped my poor Ataru-chan?!!"

"Um...!" Nassur sweats on seeing Nagaiwakai bashfully bat her eyes.

"When was this?!!" Hazel looks at Lum.

"Read the next series," the Oni sighs.

"Hey, you!!!" a jealous Benten moves to give the matriarch a piece of
her mind. "Hands off **my** husband or I'll...!!!"

Ataru's sledgehammer stops her! "You'll *what*?!!" the Terran snaps.

The Fukunokami whirls around to face him. "What was that for?!!"

"JUST A MINUTE, YOU BLACKGUARD!!!!!!" Nagaiwakai barks.

Benten bolts to attention, sweat pouring down her face. Despite her
righteous anger towards Nagaiwakai's advances on Nassur, the matriarch was
also righteous...in a way which could spell death if the Fukunokami was not
careful. Benten then leans back as Nagaiwakai glares at her, her brown eyes
raging with fury. "You...you...you...you...you...!!!" the latter growls.

"Y-y-yeah...?" the former stammers.

A second later, Nagaiwakai playfully snares Benten in a headlock as
congratulation balloons burst above them! "YOU LUCKY GIRL!!!!!!" the
matriarch squeals as a party hat appears on the huntress' head.

Lum, Ataru, Hazel and Brother Sunfire stare in shock, sweat pouring down
their hair as Nagaiwakai deliriously shakes Benten. "You **must** tell me
your secret!!!" the matriarch laughs. "I must know how you do it!! Do you
have any idea of what being alone for thirty-eight years has been like?!!"

"Um...I should apologize for this," Ataru sighs, flushing. "Grandma can
be a bit of a flirt on occasion."

"So I see," Lum sighs.

Nassur remains frozen in place. "Sh-she's n-not o-old...?!" the hunter
stammers, one eye bulged and his jaw askew...

* * *

"My friends, let there be celebration today!!!" Megane laughs the next
morning as most of class 3-4 has arrived for homeroom period.

"What are you tooting about now, four-eyes?!" Mie snorts.

"I'm proclaiming the demise of the ageless witch who has made our lives
hell!!!" Megane laughs. "Without her support, Ataru will never be able to
take Lum-san away from us!! Once she is gone, then we'll target Ataru's
lesbian sister and her allies and then, *then*, Ataru will pay dearly for his
innumerable crimes against Lum-san and those who **truly** like her!!!"

"Oh, really?" Koosei reads his paper. "Lucky thing I called Ataru and
warned him about your attempt to trick Hazel into attacking Nagaiwakai-sama."

Mendou and the guards freeze! "You...did...*what*?!" Megane gasps, his
glasses knocked askew as his jaw hits the floor.

"I overheard your attempt to trick Hazel-chan into attacking Nagaiwakai-
sama," Koosei smiles. "You forget I'm Kinshou's back-door neighbour. Nassur
and Benten were visiting Oshika when I called to warn Ataru. I'm sure
nothing's happened to Nagaiwakai-sama...but as for what will happen to you
five, well...!" he shrugs, returning to his paper.

"Well, stupid?!" Momoe derisively snorts. "Any other bright ideas?!"

Laughter echoes through the class as everyone sits. "Why does this
always happen to us...?" Megane stammers.

"Maybe because you're not as smart as you think, Aisuru, dearie," Lan
snorts as she sits down, utterly amused at the Terrans' failed attempt to
dispose of their perceived enemy. "I would've succeeded!"

"Oh, sure!!" Ryuunosuke snorts. "You would've succeeded in getting
yourself killed by Dakejinzou Shogai or the Inquisition!"

Lan faints! Lum flies in. "Hi, everyone!!!" she declares, moving to
stand in front of Koosei's desk. "I've got an announcement to make!!"

"What is it, Lum-chan?" Mie hums.

The Oni icily stares at Mendou and the guards. "In payback for your
pathetic attempt to try to hurt Darling's poor grandmother, Darling and I've
decided that it's time for the ninth clause of our agreement...the one that
guarantees that Darling'll get the right to take his revenge on all of you for
your pass misdeeds on him...to go into effect!!"

"WHAT?!?!?!" they scream.

"You heard me!!!" Lum snarls, pointing at Mendou and the guards. "You
five better watch your backs from now on!! I have a rough idea of what
Darling might have in mind for you slime, but I'll bet whatever it is, it'll
be good...and **justly** deserved!!!"

The five in question turn white. "And if you think I'm going to save
you idiots from your punishment, you're *very* mistaken!!!" Lum devilishly
snickers. "In fact, if Darling wants my help in nailing you five, then I'll
**gladly** help him see his plans through!!!"

"L-l-lum-san...!" Megane stammers, looking faint.

"In fact," Lum looks away, "...last night I overheard Darling telling
Nokoko-chan about his plans! Do you want to know what Darling said?!"

"Wh-what...?!" Kakugari gulps.

A fanatic look appears on the Oni's face as she lets out an almost
perfect imitation of Ataru's laughter. "WHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!"
she maniacally screams, lightning exploding from points all over her body.
"IT'S PERFECT!!!! IT'S MORE THAN PERFECT!!!! THERE'S NOTHING THOSE IDIOTS
CAN DO TO SAVE THEMSELVES!!!! WHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!" She reverts
to normal, coughing. "Get the picture?" she sweetly smiles.

Mendou and the guards are decked by an H-bomb blast!!!! The others
shiver in dread anticipation. "Oh, another thing!" Lum adds. "Hazel-chan's
staying with Grandma in Rishiri-tou!"

Shinobu faints! "WHAT?!?!?!"

"That was agreed to by Nassur-chan and Benten!" the Oni triumphantly
smiles at her former rival. "Since you proved to be **nothing** of a positive
influence to Hazel-chan...especially since it was **you** who brought the
*saikoo jinseijitsu* out of Darling's head, which wound up getting poor Hazel-
chan hurt...Nassur-chan and Benten decided that to ensure Hazel-chan stays
safe, she'll stay in Rishiri-tou!! Don't worry...Grandma'll make sure that
Hazel-chan will become a true lady when she's finished with her!"

Ataru's ex-girlfriend shivers in rage as Lum proceeds to her seat.
"This...this is an outrage...!" she hisses.

"Alright, you clowns," Koosei stands, putting his paper away. "Let's
forget Hazel-chan for the time being and break open the books!!"

Seeing Shinobu frozen in place, the teacher turns into a good imitation
of the Scornful Buddha! "THAT MEANS YOU, TOO, MIYAKI!!!!!!" he bellows.

"Yessir, yessir, yessir!!!" she leaps into her seat...

* * *

Ataru relaxes in the living room, reading the morning edition of the
local newspaper. The latest event in Tomobiki made page three. Like all news
reports originating outside Japan's most infamous district, Ataru is not
assigned blame. Hazel is portrayed beside an image of the school. "'The
astounding bravery of the young alien huntress Hazel when she faced down the
possessed Ataru Moroboshi demonstrates clearly that a continued and thorough
exploration of the possible impact of aliens taking residence on Earth must
continue should our planet survive the next few years,'" he reads the
editorial...then looks up as the front door opens. "What are you doing
here?!" surprise crosses his face as he notes who his visitor is.

"I...hi," Hazel meekly smiles as she stands in front of him.

"Shouldn't you be in Rishiri-tou?!" Ataru sets the paper aside. "I'm
really not in the mood to help Lum-chan babysit you right now...!"

Before he could react, he finds himself embraced by the wailing hybrid.
"I'M SORRY!!!!!!" Hazel cries as she buries her face in his shirt.

Ataru stops, then sighs as she embraces him. "Hey, hey..." he gently
pats her back, "...cut it out! I hate to see women cry! Stop it!!"

Hazel projects a pleading stare at him, tears flowing down her face.
"Didn't Uncle ever tell you when you and the other hybrids were here that the
example you present here is one by which the people of Earth will gage their
opinions towards?!" he reaches up to gently wipe her face clean.

"I...I wasn't here all the time..." she sniffs. "And when I was here, I
really didn't pay much attention to what your uncle said..."

"Well, you've got off to a fine start, I'll say," he sighs.

Nagaiwakai arrives. "Grandma!!" Ataru is surprised to see her there.

Hazel turns, her eyes widening on seeing the matriarch's hair pulled
into a ponytail, her tapered ears now displayed for all to see. "Oh, there
you are, child!" Nagaiwakai sighs as she walks over. "Don't you know it's a
bit rude to walk away like that without telling people where you're going?!"

"You..." the hybrid stammers, "...you're Vosian...!"

"Oh, hardly that, my dear," Nagaiwakai shakes her head.

"You're a hybrid?!" Hazel's voice is hushed. "Like me..."

"That could be said," the matriarch turns to her grandson. "Ataru-chan,
what is this child's story, anyway?"

He sighs. "A long and sad one, Grandma..."

He explains Hazel's past. When Ataru is done, revulsion clearly shows
on his grandmother's face. "Barbaric!!" she spits. "And to believe that the
so-called 'civilized' races in this galaxy permitted this!!"

"It was a shock to Nassur when he found out," Ataru shrugs.

"I see," Nagaiwakai looks at Hazel.

The matriarch feels her hand being gently taken by the hybrid's. Hazel
smiles, then slips out of Ataru's embrace to embrace his grandmother. "Oba-
chan..." the hybrid sighs as she feels the warmth of Nagaiwakai's embrace,
finding herself wishing that it was her long-deceased mother Shunba embracing
her instead of the Moroboshi Clan matriarch.

*'Oba-chan?!!'* the matriarch gasps, eyes painfully wide, then she
recovers. "Now, I suggest you listen to me, young lady," Nagaiwakai gently
pulls Hazel away from her. "Just because you may have survived on your own
for eight years doesn't mean you can do the same now that you're with people
again. If you want to stay with Ataru-chan and me, you'll have to follow some
rules, just like you obviously do on Home Base. Understand?"

"Hai," the hybrid nods, pulling herself away.

"Very well, then," Nagaiwakai nods. "First: I'm sure Ataru-chan no
longer minds if you visit him. If you want to go, you must tell either
myself, Jinseiko-chan or Brother Sunfire where you are going. Understood?"

"Hai," Hazel nods.

"Another thing," Ataru speaks. "If you want to visit, call me first.
Reiko-chan has to get used to you, as much as I did. If you constantly impose
yourself on people, you'll never have them as friends, okay?"

"Okay," the hybrid nods.

"And with that," he sighs. "If you want to come, you have to understand
that I live with a sister and friends whom you might feel uncomfortable with.
If you find being around people like Nokoko-chan, Mal-chan, Nicole or the
others uncomfortable...keep your comments to yourself. I would take it as an
insult to myself if my friends were insulted in any way. Okay?"

Hazel looks uncomfortable. "I'll try," she absently feels herself.

"And one more thing," Ataru remembers. "The chances are good that those
twits in Tomobiki will try to use you in whatever idiot scheme they may dream
up in their pathetic attempts to break Lum-chan and I apart. You are **not**
to listen to a thing anyone like Mendou, the guards, Lan, Shinobu, any of the
boys from my old class, Sakura, Cherry and my parents will tell you."

"So who can I listen to?" Hazel muses.

"Any of the other girls...Mie, Ryuunosuke, Momoe, Kumiko, Natsuko...Lum-
chan will point them out. Chie and Ashin Budou are okay. They may be creepy,
but you'll get used to them. Koosei, of course. Ten-chan, too, when he's not
in school. Oyuki of course. Ditto with Nokoko, Mal and their friends," Ataru
hums as he considers other possibilities. "That's all I can think of."

"What about you and Oba-chan?" Hazel muses.

Ataru looks surprised, then leans over to trace his fingers under her
armpits. "What do you think?!" he maniacally cackles.

"Hey!!!" Hazel yelps as a ticklish feeling shoots up her arms. "St-stop
that...!!" she giggles as she keels over while Ataru continues the assault.
"Stop that! I'm t-ticklish...he-he-he-ha-ha-ha...!!!"

Nagaiwakai smiles as Ataru continues his tickle-torture...

* * *

"My friends!!!" Megane slams his hammer on the gavel to get everyone's
attention. "This is the worst day of our lives!!! We must prepare ourselves
for whatever hideous plot that slime Ataru is preparing as we speak to unleash
on us on the *supposed* belief that we caused him offense!!!"

He chairs an emergency meeting of concerned citizens in the Tomobiki
High gymnasium. It is the day after Lum's proclamation. Most of the crowd
are Tomobiki High students, but there is a considerable representation from
the district's other schools. "Is there any intelligence on what Ataru has in
mind?!!" Ogin, the leader of the all-girls Rosebuds, demands.

"None, I'm afraid!!" Megane shakes his head. "Lum-san is tight-lipped
over this matter! Attempts at coercing Jariten to spill the beans have
failed, too!! Further, we cannot get Hazel's assistance in trying to gain
what information she can from the scoundrel's own lips!! What is worse,
Shutaro's vaunted corps of Kuromegane," he waves to Mendou, "...have been
unable to penetrate the defensive cordon surrounding Oshika!"

"Then we're beat!" a Taian boy exclaims.

"That is not so!!" Mendou bolts up, slamming a hand on the desk. "I
admit that we've long expected this to come! It was practically proclaimed
for all to hear when Moroboshi's witch of a grandmother forced that cursed
agreement on poor Lum-san!! Since that time, Moroboshi has come to believe in
his own invincibility! We can *use* that...!"

Outside the gymnasium, Lum, eyes rolling, listens to Mendou's diatribe.
The fools had been asking for what was coming to them for a long time. They
always believed in fighting every attempt at destroying the fantasy world they
had imposed on themselves. Ataru's breaking away was, truthfully, the
greatest threat to everyone's sense of self. He and Lum had begun the painful
process of growing up. A year ago, she would never have believed that she
would be leaving them behind, moving to another town where her friends could
not follow. A year ago, deep down, she would never have believed that she was
now a hair's breadth from actually fulfilling her own dream.

Lum looks down, noticing a group of women leaving the school. Mie,
Momoe, Kumiko, Natsuko and Ryuunosuke, carrying garbage. Mendou does not
understand that no matter how he fights to maintain his fantasy world, time,
progress and maturity stand against him. Three girls' engagement is proof.
Lum had rejoiced when she heard that Momoe, Kumiko and Natsuko had taken so
well to Shoosetsu Kagaku, Hooka Shinzenryou and Ryoohou Butsuri. The three
couples seem visibly compatible. With the "small fry," as Ataru jokingly
referred to them, out of the way, it was time for the big fish.

Some would conclude that Ataru was a master psychological warrior. All
he was doing was applying basic psychology to the situation. Long ago, he
came to realize that Tomobiki was a living representation of the Scottish
legend of Brigadoon, where everyone remained youthful as long as they lived
within the town limits. In Tomobiki, Lum was the source of energy which kept
people such as Mendou from succumbing to the effects of time, progress and
maturity which claimed the Oni and her Darling. Ataru wanted to save Lum from
the collective unconsciousness which festered on everyone's fantasies. To do
that, Ataru applied a more basic version of Carl Jung's philosophy, using
Komeru, through his numerous wards, as the catalyst.

What was planned, as Ataru had done with Momoe, Kumiko and Natsuko, were
unofficial omiais. All would be privately arranged so that none could
interfere. Initial targets were selected to ensure that final targets would
be rendered vulnerable when their turn came. Lum and Ten-chan had been asked
to help Ataru in one case. That was a day ahead. Someone else came before
her. The Oni smiles as an Osprey appeared in the north, flying toward the
school. Leaping off the roof, Lum flies down to Ryuunosuke, now piling the
garbage by the curb. "Hi, Ryuunosuke!" the Oni smiles.

"Hi, Lum!" the tomboy smiles. "Shit, are they still there?!" she nods
toward the gymnasium.

"Unfortunately," Lum sighs, then looks up as the Osprey alters to
vertical flight mode. "Ah! Just in time!!"

"Eh?!" Ryuunosuke looks at the tilt-rotor. "Why's that here?!"

"It's for you, silly!"

"Me?!!" the tomboy points at herself.

The attack helicopters escorting the Osprey assume an entrapment
formation around the gymnasium. The Osprey lands, the hatch opening to allow
a stewardess to emerge. "Of course!" Lum grabs Ryuunosuke and pulls her to
the waiting tilt-rotor. "Darling's found a nice guy for you!!"

"A guy?!!" Ryuunosuke blinks. "For me?!! You mean, like what he did
for Momoe, Kumiko and Natsuko?!!"

"The same idea!!" Lum ushers her aboard. "He's waiting for you!!!"

"I..." Ryuunosuke gulps, but is cut off by the closing door.

Lum backs away, waving as the tilt-rotor takes to the sky, soaring south
towards the Sagami Sea. "Have a nice time!!"

At that moment, Mr. Fujinami appears. "Lum, have you seen my idiot
son?! I sent him out to drop the garbage off!"

"Actually, Ryuunosuke's on a date, sir," the Oni smiles.

"A date?!!" the old janitor gasps. "With who?!!"

Lum whispers a name. Hearing that, Mr. Fujinami lets out a wail of pure
joy as a tidal wave carries him off! "AT LAST!!!!!!" he bellows through a
bullhorn as he surfs away, tears jetting out of his eyes as he goes. "AT LAST
MY WONDERFUL SON HAS LISTENED TO HIS HEART AND NOW GOES OUT TO CLAIM THE ONE
WHO LOVES HIM SO DEARLY!!!! MASAKO, MY LOVE, REJOICE AT YOUR WONDERFUL
CHILD'S DETERMINATION!!!! GUIDE HIM TO HIS SUCCESS!!!! RYUUNOSUKE, COME BACK
A **MAN** AND CLAIM YOUR PLACE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!"

Lum giggles as Fujinami vanishes. "Well, he's happy...!"

The Oni winces as the escort party fires on the gymnasium, on orders to
do so should anyone emerge to witness Ryuunosuke's extraction and possibly
deduce what Ataru might have planned. That was the problem with simple plans.
They could, Nassur once warned her, be simply deduced, too!

* * *

The Osprey soars across Tokyo, Kawasaki, Yokohama and Fujisawa to emerge
over the wide expanse of the Sagami Sea. Looking out the window, Ryuunosuke
sees Oo-shima pass below. "Hey, where are we, miss?" she asks a stewardess.

"Forgive me, Fujinami-sama," the woman bows. "But the Young Master
wants to make this a surprise. I can't say until we've landed."

Confusion crosses the tomboy's face as the tilt-rotor shifts to vertical
flight, then lands. Ryuunosuke steps out...then stops. "What the hell'm I
doing back here?!!" she gasps.

Before her sits the old island teashop her father purchased from a
friend for the simple amount of three hundred yen! The banner proclaiming
HAMAJAYA TEASHOP - WE LOVE THE SEA flutters by the door. Ryuunosuke walks
around. "Why the hell did Ataru bring me here?!" she hums.

"So we could be alone, Ryuunosuke-sama," an effeminate voice replies.

"Nagisa...?!" Ryuunosuke gasps.

She turns to see the "daughter" of Shin Shinowataru, Fujimi Fujinami's
best friend from high school, approach. He is presently dressed in designer
slacks and a button shirt...female, of course...his brown hair still in a
ponytail. A five o'clock shadow covers her face. "Hello, Ryuunosuke," he
smiles. "It's been a while. You look well."

"Er...hi, Nagisa," she gulps.

Then, tears flowing down his face, Nagisa runs up and fiercely embraces
Ryuunosuke. "Oh, Ryuunosuke-sama, I've missed you so much!!" he wails.

"Hey...!" she stammers.

The two enter the teashop. Ryuunosuke sees stockpiles of food lining
one wall. She relaxes as he prepares something to eat. "So, Ataru's been
supporting you since that thing at North Tokyo High, eh?" Ryuunosuke muses.

"Yes," Nagisa nods. "He felt it was unfair that I was alone out here
without support. As soon as he renewed contact with his uncle's people, he
arranged for food to be shipped here. Since then, the odd fisherman has come
to dine here. I've been able to make a living...but it's been rough." He
turns around to place a ramen-and-vegetables dish in front of her. "I don't
mind it..." he flushes, "...but I have missed you."

"Nagisa, we can't live like this, you know."

"I know," Nagisa sits, watching her eat. "So, it came as quite a shock
to me when Ataru visited last night. He asked me point-blank 'Do you want to
marry Ryuunosuke Fujinami and try to live a normal life?!'"

"And you said?"

"I told him that you...were the only girl for me," he flushes. "After
all," he twirls like a ballerina, "...who'd date me when I'm like this?!"

"Yeah!" she nods understandingly. "I still have girls coming up to me
and asking for dates, even after Ataru's dated me a few times!"

"You like him, don't you?" he sits.

"As a friend," she sighs. "I can tell he's just biding his time until
he can marry Lum. Then again, I've got both Ataru and Lum to thank. If it
wasn't for them, Shinobu and Mendou showing up one day, I'd still be on that
old beach house calling the sea an idiot and out-running the waves!"

"True," he hums. "They'll make a nice couple when they settle down."

"True..." she jolts on feeling his hand on hers. "N-Nagisa...?"

They stare into the other's eyes. "Oh, Ryuunosuke, I've missed you so
much," Nagisa sighs. "Why haven't you come back to see me?"

"I can't afford to come back here, Nagisa," Ryuunosuke sighs. "Dad's
still keeping us in the poorhouse!"

"And he still can't accept the fact that you're a girl," he nods.

"Just as much as your dad couldn't accept the fact that you're a guy."

"True...so ask yourself this: who would want to marry either of us?"

Silence falls over the teashop. "No one..." she looks down.

"Exactly!" Nagisa nods. "Besides...I know of one sure-fire way to make
your dad see that you're a girl."

"How?!" Ryuunosuke looks surprised.

A smile crosses his face. "Get married and get yourself pregnant!"

An explosion occurs!! "WHAT?!?!?!"

Ryuunosuke stares in disbelief at Nagisa. Dating him, she could
understand. But actually go along with what their fathers planned? "Your dad
might not accept that you're a girl in the open," Nagisa kneels beside her,
patting her stomach, "...but even *he* can't argue with genetics! After all,
if we do marry, *you're* the one who'll carry the child!"

They stare into the other's eyes. "Even though we've had it rough, our
fathers always intended to see us married! So he raised you to be a boy and
my father raised me as a girl! So what?! Separate, we can't fight what we've
become...but **together**, we can! It's the only way open for us now!!"

Nagisa gently grasps Ryuunosuke's hands. "If we marry," he continues,
"...we could teach each other what being a man and a woman is all about, Ryuu-
chan!" He slowly drifts towards her. "Don't you see," he shakes his head as
their lips close distance, "...we need each other...now more than ever...!"

His lips lightly brush hers. Ryuunosuke is so surprised by the act, she
remains still. His hands gently trail her arms as she is brought into his
embrace. As they kiss, the tomboyish senior finally gives in to her own pent-
up passions, returning her would-be fiance's passion with equal fervor. After
what seems a wonderful eternity. they part, staring into the other's eyes. In
her eyes, Nagisa sees uncertainty and confusion. In his eyes, Ryuunosuke sees
love and resolute determination. "Nagisa...?"

"I love you, Ryuu-chan," Nagisa huskily declares.

They kiss again and again as their hands begin to remove the other's
clothes, their passions building with each contact...

* * *

The next day, a bandaged, enraged Mendou storms into class. The guards,
equally bandaged from yesterday's destruction, notice their classmate's mood.
"Hey, Shutaro, what's with you?!" Megane hums.

"What was Moroboshi doing with my sister last night?!!" Mendou snarls.

"What?!!" Chibi gasps. "Ataru was with your sister?!"

"What would he be doing with her?!" Paama hums.

"I didn't know Ataru was into S-and-M," Kakugari muses.

Incensed, Mendou snap-draws his katana and moves to attack. "Now, you
will no longer plague us!!!" he growls. "I will claim Lum-san for myself!!!"

Four sledgehammers answer. "AH, DROP DEAD, DORK!!!!!!"

Nearby, Lan is as equally incensed. "What's with you?!" Shinobu hums.

"I was trying to spy on Darling again, but someone was jamming me!!" the
Seishin teen snarls. "I couldn't see more than five metres from my ship!!!"

"You mean Moroboshi kept you in the dark, too?!" Mendou gasps.

Pandemonium breaks out as everyone vents their frustration...when a
stupefied Ryuunosuke floats in literally on Cloud Nine! "Oh, what a night
last night!!!" the tomboy drifts into her chair.

"Whoa!!!" Momoe whistles. "Hot date last night, Ryuunosuke?!!"

"Hot date, Momoe?!!" the tomboy snorts. "Try hot **pillow fest**!!!
Shit, now I know how Lum feels when Ataru seduces her!!!"

The girls pale. "You...had *sex* on your first date?!" Kumiko gasps.

"Well, technically, it wasn't my first date with this guy!" Ryuunosuke
emits a flighty laugh. "Boy, if that's the way he'll be with me when we're
married, I'll marry Nagisa right here and now!!"

An explosion occurs!! "NAGISA?!?!?!" Mendou howls...

* * *

That evening, at the Moroboshi home, Ataru and Lum dress in black-shaded
combat uniforms. Ten-chan is already dressed, a balaclava over his head.
"You know what to do?!" Ataru slips his hood on.

"I got you!" Lum slips hers on. "If I see Shingo, I'm to carry him away
from Ryooko and Reigi!!"

"How'dya get them to date?!" Ten-chan hums.

"Simple," Ataru cackles as they depart. "Ryooko-chan's dated that
doofus Shingo a few times. She likes him but he doesn't have the brains to
figure out a light bulb, much less a girl as smart as she! Besides, when I
told her about Reigi-kun's crush, she was utterly ecstatic...especially since
his name's on every cheque I've sent to her to keep her off my back!"

The three board a waiting assault dune-buggy for the drive to the Mendou
estate. "How did Reigi learn of Ryooko?" Lum hums.

"You remember the time I shut down Mendou's operation when I went to
Takenotsuka?" Ataru looks over.

"Uh-huh," the Oni nods.

"Well, when Reigi was looking through the books, he bumped into Ryooko-
chan!" Ataru smiles under his balaclava. "It was love at first sight! They
haven't stopped thinking of each other since!!"

"And if you've got Ryooko-onee-chan in your pocket, you can get Mendou
ta lay off, right?!" Ten-chan muses.

Ataru and Lum look at the young Oni. "You know, you're smarter than you
normally let on, Ten," the former muses.

"Thanks," Ten-chan beams...

* * *

Minutes later, Lum, Ataru and Ten-chan sneak over the wall of the Mendou
estate, hiding themselves in a grove. They look around, detecting no one.
"When's Reigi due?" the Oni whispers.

"In a bit!" Ataru hisses. "Jinseiko and the Kuromoroboshi will make
sure he gets in! Let's go!!"

Meanwhile, Ryooko walks down the path of the largest garden in the
estate, dressed in a simple white kimono. She turns to one of her Kuroko.
"Do you know if Moroboshi-sama or Lum-sama have come to the estate?"

"I believe they are here, Mistress Ryooko," he responds. "Moroboshi-
sama said he would guarantee that the omiai will go without interruption."

"He's so sweet..." she sighs.

* * *

As Ataru, Lum and Ten-chan dart their way through the estate, they have
not escaped detection...which, of course, is part of the plan. In the mansion
security control centre, a Kuromegane watches the three black-clad intruders
zip their way through the woods in the general direction of Ryooko's position.
He picks up his phone. "Security Control to the Young Master. Security
cameras have detected three intruders on the grounds...!"

* * *

In his lounge, Mendou listens to the report. "What?!!" he bolts up,
eyes wide with shock. "Moroboshi and Lum-san on the estate?!!" Panic darkens
his features as he hears more. "They're going **where**?!!" His eyes narrow
in calculation. "Alert all forces and deploy them to that location!!!" He
hangs up the phone, then looks up. "Shingo!!!"

No response, which quickly angers Mendou. "Shingo, where are you?!!"

Suddenly, a black-clad form crashes into Mendou's head! The handsome,
illiterate Shingo looks around, not realizing who he is standing on. "Did
someone call me?" he innocently asks.

"You idiot...!" Mendou moans. "Get off me!!"

Shingo drops to the floor. "What's the problem?!"

"Moroboshi is on the grounds!!" he growls. "And he's making a bee-line
toward my sister!! Stop him at all costs!!!"

The ninja's eyes glitter on hearing who is "threatened." "What?!!" he
snaps. "He wants to make off with Ryooko-sama?!! He shall die!!!"

Shingo disappears. Mendou watches him depart, a pleased smile crossing
his face. "With Moroboshi disposed of, Lum-san is mine!" he cackles...

* * *

As Mendou contemplates his rival's destruction, Ryooko relaxes beside a
pond. The thunder of horse's hooves is heard. "Hello...?"

Riding up on what is supposed to be an Arabian stallion...it is actually
a palanquin carried by two Kuromoroboshi ninjas with a wooden horse model atop
it!...is Reigi Yumoa. He is dressed in samurai undress robes, forcing him to
ride side-saddle on the "horse." A ninja's gaikatana is strapped to his side.
On seeing the woman of his dreams, Reigi's eyes glitter. "Mendou-sama...!"

Seeing the handsome financier for the first time in two months, she
sighs. "Yumoa-sama...!"

She stands as Reigi dismounts. The Kuromoroboshi disappear. Going to
one knee, he presents her with a bouquet. "For you, Mendou-sama," he sighs.

"Thank you," she blushes, sniffing the roses and carnations. Both gaze
upon the other. "I apologize; I had almost forgotten how handsome you are."

"I...I am pleased that I meet your expectations," he blushes. "I am
ashamed to confess, I had avoided your presence for a time, in order to gain
more information about you. Happily, you certainly fit all of my
expectations."

"In what way?"

"You are intellectually brilliant both in scholastics and other areas,"
he sighs, "...a fighter for causes your brother would believe too low for his
notice, adept in the visual and theatric arts...and despite your well-known
propensity for causing havoc in your brother's life, a truly beautiful woman,
inside and out."

Blushing at his compliments, Ryooko reaches for his hand, knowing full
well how her brother would react when he saw them being so intimate. "Please
walk with me, sir," she smiles, then turns to her ninjas. "You may leave."

"M'lady," the Kuroko bow, then disappear.

The two proceed down a pathway hand-in-hand. "They're good men, your
Kuroko..." Reigi looks at the place where the ninjas once stood, then looks
back. "Mendou-sama, why are you smiling?"

She chuckles with embarrassment. "Just thinking that my parents will be
beside themselves if they learned that I am undergoing an actual omiai without
their knowledge...not to mention before the final peace between my clan and
the Mizunokoji is concluded."

"Yes, I know," he nods. "Nagaiwakai-sama is already offering to mediate
the peace." His eyes then search around, wondering where his three shadows
were. "Ataru-kun does know that you've no interest in marrying Tobimaro
Mizunokoji."

A strained look crosses her face. "No, thank you!" she shudders. "He's
far too much like my brother for comfort. I have no interest in marrying
him." She then sighs. "I really don't know what is going to happen. I had
thought that my brother would marry Asuka-chan; indeed, they seemed quite
ready to do so..."

"Until the *saikoo jinseijitsu* totally ruined any hope of that
happening," he adds. "And with Asuka-san's relationship with Osooko-san
proceeding full steam ahead, the chances of her getting back together with
Shutaro are slim. That's probably a good thing, considering what Shutaro must
imagine such a marriage to be like." He pauses. "Ataru-kun isn't quite sure
what to do. At the moment, there's very little Shutaro can do without losing
face, and Ataru-kun knows this. He's unsure whether to step in and try to
nudge things along, or to just watch Shutaro screw it up on his own."

"Do you think that Ataru is attempting to get revenge on my brother?"
she blinks in surprise.

"Actually," Reigi hums, "...Ataru-kun said that he had...no grudges
against your brother."

Ryooko looks incredulously at Reigi, then both burst out laughing.
"Since when did Moroboshi-sama acquire such an attitude?" she wonders.

"I think it was the day he first met you!" he smiles.

Suddenly, a voice challenges them. "I caught you!"

Both see Shingo staring at them from a tree branch. On seeing Ryooko's
guest, the ninja looks confused. "You're not Moroboshi!!"

"Shingo, will you please leave us be?!" Ryooko dismisses him with a
wave. "Yumoa-sama and I are on an omiai!"

Embarrassment crosses the ninja's face. "Er...omiai?!" he gulps, then
nods. "Of course, Ryooko-sama! I'll leave you be!!"

He disappears...

* * *

Mendou and his parents wait in the mansion's library. Attending his
mother is her capable hand-servant. Shingo appears...atop his master's head!
"I've located Ryooko-sama!!" he declares. "Eh?! Master?! Where'd you go?!!"

"GET OFF ME!!!!!!" Mendou roars.

Shingo looks down, then makes his report. "I've located Ryooko-sama!"

"Good!!" Mendou breathes out in relief. "Was Moroboshi with her?!"

"No. I didn't wish to interrupt Ryooko-sama's omiai, so I left her be!"

He relaxes. "Ah, so he wasn't after Ryooko-chan after all...eh?!!" It
hits him. "'OMIAI?!?!?!'"

"Yes," the ninja nods, confused by the reaction. "Didn't you know?!"

"What is our poor daughter up to now?!" Mendou's father exclaims.

Mendou's mother whispers in her servant's ear, leaning out from behind
her ever-present fan. "Heaven only knows!" he parrots.

Mendou takes his phone in hand. "Security control, can you locate
Ryooko?!!" he barks. "See who is the man beside her and identify him!!!"

Ten seconds later, Mendou lowers the phone. "So, tell me, Shutaro," his
father lights a pipe. "Who is our amorous stranger?"

"Intelligence I.D.'d him as Reigi Yumoa!" Mendou faces his parents.

Surprise crosses his parents' faces on hearing that. "Why, whatever has
possessed young Reigi to take such an interest in Ryooko?!" his father muses.

His mother whispers into the servant's ears. "Perhaps you should ask
Komeru-sama and learn for yourself, sir," he repeats.

"Perhaps we should," Mendou's father stands. "Yumoa," he hums. "Isn't
he the child prodigy who got his PhD in business administration at Sendai
Economics College when he was twenty-two?"

"I believe he is," the servant speaks after hearing the words from Mrs.
Mendou. "I believe Young Master Yumoa would make an excellent son-in-law."

"What an outstanding idea!" Mendou's father laughs.

Hearing that, Mendou himself pales. "What?!" he hoarsely gasps. "My
sister marrying one of Moroboshi's idiot friends?!! I'll never permit this to
happen!!!" He faces Shingo. "Get out there and kill that man!!! If he is
allowed to deflower my sister, then you'll *never* have her...eh?!!" he stops
on seeing that Shingo has already departed! "Where'd he go?!" Mendou hums...

* * *

Meanwhile, Reigi and Ryooko remain by the pond. "You'll have to forgive
Shingo," she smiles. "He is what is politely referred to as clue-challenged."

"Dumb as a bag of hammers, eh?" he laughs.

"Precisely!" she giggles. "However, once he reports back to my brother,
we can expect further attacks..."

"That's where Ataru-kun and Lum come in," he frowns, moving to reassure
her. They told me not to worry about a thing."

They sit, Ryooko snuggling against him. "Well, then, let's not worry
about it," she sighs, allowing his presence to saturate her senses.

They remain in place, watching the stars. Their eyes then shift to gaze
upon the other. Without apparent invitation, they embrace, their lips gently
caressing the other's. Suddenly, Shingo leaps out of the trees. "Leave
Ryooko-sama alone, you villain!"

Before he could get close to target, Lum lunges from left field, snaring
Shingo with a rope and carries him away. "No, you don't!!!"

The ninja wails as he is dragged away. Reigi and Ryooko watch them
depart. "I think your brother knows I'm here," the former sighs.

"A good thing Moroboshi-sama and Lum-sama are here, eh, Yumoa-sama?"

"Please," he cups her chin in his hand. "Reigi."

"Ryooko," she huskily whispers.

They kiss...

* * *

"Odd!!" Mendou mutters as he returns to his study. "Shingo should've
got back by now!!" Opening the door, he stops. "Eh?!!"

Now unconscious on the floor is Shingo, wrapped in a rubber mat which
can be used to drain the ninja of his unusual strength. "What the...?!"
Mendou stammers. "WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!"

As his incensed exclamations echo through the mansion, Ataru, Lum and
Ten-chan observe from the branch of a nearby tree. "Two down, one to go!"
Ataru chuckles as they turn to leave. "For now..."

* * *

"I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him, I'll kill him!!!" Mendou
snarls as he paces around room 337 the morning after.

"Is it true that Ataru succeeded in introducing his uncle's chief
accountant to Mendou's sister?" Megane muses.

"Uh-huh!" Chibi nods. "Ataru and Lum-chan were there to make sure the
date didn't suffer a setback."

"First Ryuunosuke, now Ryooko!!" Paama hums. "What's going on here?!"

"It's not good!" Kakugari warns. "Ataru's planning something!!"

"Agreed," Megane nods. "But...what could it be?"

Ataru's activities are the topic of conversation with many others in the
class. One not participating is Mie, who shakes her head as she quietly
eavesdrops. It had taken the Kyushu native a minute to understand exactly
what her former classmate was up to. A blind man could comprehend the nuances
of Ataru's plan. Then again, what did she expect? Many of her classmates
were not blind; they were just plain stupid!

Their confusion, however, was understandable, not to mention expected.
Mendou and the guards were used to dealing with magnificent plots which
usually employed troops and hardware in an overt testosterone-charged display
of brute power. They automatically assumed that all their potential opponents
would behave in the same manner. That Ataru refused to behave within such
preconceived norms automatically branded him less a man in Mendou's eyes.
That misconception revealed how narrow-minded, how hollow Mendou really was.

Mie had seen through Mendou's act even before her first attempted date
with Ataru. She also loved the times she hazed the guards, threatening to
team up with Ataru to shatter their unity, scatter them to the four winds.
She guessed that Ataru had something similar in mind, but like his previous
"victims," his approach would be subtle. Lan was in all intents and purposes
dealt with. Thanks to the U.N.'s edict, she could not move anywhere else on
Earth. Further, a few sojourns in the Sendai jailhouse even convinced the
airhead to obey court injunctions. Finally, there was Shinobu. While she
still did not comprehend why Ataru no longer wanted anything to do with
her...and Mie lived for the opportunity to reveal Nassur's recent marriage to
Benten...the Kyushu native had begun to see the good qualities Ataru's former
girlfriend possessed...what few there were!

Mie sits back as Lum arrives and classes begin. She could hardly wait
for what would happen next...

* * *

At lunchtime, Ataru meets Lum in the cafeteria. A few ugly stares had
sent any eavesdroppers scurrying away. To better ensure their privacy, they
proceed to have lunch on the roof. "So," the Oni muses, "...you've got to
Momoe, Kumiko, Natsuko, Ryuunosuke and Ryooko. Who's next?!"

"Well, the next logical target is Tobimaro," Ataru slurps his ramen.

"Why him?!" Lum looks surprised.

"Oh, just to make sure a certain idiot we know will take a big fall when
the time comes," he snorts.

Lum blinks for a moment, then laughs. Suddenly, a pair of hands wrap
around Ataru's eyes. "Guess who?!" a flighty female voice inquires.

Ataru sniffs the perfume. "Joan of Arc?! Cleopatra?! The Mona Lisa?!
Marilyn Monroe?!"

Lum and the strange woman laugh. "Haven't heard from you in a while,
Yuukiki-chan," Ataru chuckles.

Yuukiki Seishin sits beside him, dressed in her usually daring tank-top
and leather short skirt. "Haven't seen you for a while, either, Ataru-chan,"
she playfully pecks his cheek. "You're looking okay!"

"I survive," Ataru smiles.

"How are you doing, Yuukiki?" Lum inquires.

"I'm cool," Yuukiki nods. "Hear you two've finally got things going
between you. Anyhow, I'm not here to talk about your love-life, Ataru-chan,"
she slips her arm around his. "I've been hearing some odd rumours about you."

"What rumours?!" Ataru muses.

"That you've been getting people married off."

"Don't tell me!" he hums. "You want to be a part of that, right?!"

"You got it, love," she playfully purrs.

Lum laughs, realizing that Yuukiki had contacted him sometime before
Ataru's meeting with Ryooko...and also realizing whom Yuukiki had in mind for
her omiai. "What type of guy do you want?" Ataru smiles.

"A decent fellow," Yuukiki muses, "...but not a snob like that Mendou."

The snob in question sneezes! "How'd you like to meet a man who's as
filthy rich as Mendou...but **fifty** times the man?!" Ataru smiles.

"Oh?!" disbelief crosses her face. "So, who is this Adonis?!"

Ataru gently slips an arm around her shoulder. "Let me tell you..."

* * *

Later that evening at the Mizunokoji estate located north of Tomobiki, a
Moroboshi Osprey lands. Ataru disembarks, greeted by one of the Kurotenshi,
Kinko Makige. "Welcome to the estate, Young Master!" she respectfully bows to
her former employer's nephew. "Young Master Tobimaro received your letter and
he's waiting to meet you. How are Mistress Nokoko and Mal?!"

"They're fine," Ataru produces a letter. "This is from Nokoko-chan."

"Thank you," Kinko beams.

"Hey, Ataru!" Yuukiki's voice echoes from inside the tilt-rotor. "Is
this a little much?!"

Kinko's eyes bulge when she sees Ataru's friend disembark, thanks to
what she is...or should that be, what she is *not*...wearing! Yuukiki is
adorned in a crotch-length leather skirt, a white button shirt, bow tie, black
leather vest, gloves, high-heeled spikes, black fishnet stockings secured to
G-strings, dark lipstick and eye shadow!! "Er...th-that's f-fine, Yu-yuukiki-
chan...!!" Ataru stammers, blood leaking from his nose.

Yuukiki smiles, patting Kinko's shoulder as she walks towards the
mansion. "Yo, kid!" she winks. "How's it going?!"

"Ataru-sama, who **is** that shameless hussy?!" Kinko hisses.

"Hey, mellow out!" Ataru winks. "That 'shameless hussy' might one day
be your master's **wife**!"

Kinko faints! Moments later, Ataru enters the mansion's lounge. It is
lavishly decorated with sports memorabilia from across the world. In the
middle of the lounge, Tobimaro Mizunokoji is practicing his kendo, dressed in
his casual robes. "Hey, Tobimaro!" Ataru waves. "What's up?!"

"Just a minute, please," Tobimaro raises his katana, then delivers a
perfect down-stroke, shearing off the top of the target pole in front of him.
The scion of the Mizunokoji fortune relaxes, sheathes his weapon, then turns
to face his visitor. "So, Moroboshi...your note said it was urgent...urk!!!"

Tobimaro's eyes lock on Yuukiki. "Yo!!" she waves.

An explosion occurs!! "Wh-what a w-woman...!" Tobimaro exclaims, a
dazed look crossing his face.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, Tobimaro," Ataru smiles,
shifting the scion of the Mizunokoji fortune to a couch. "Tell me," Ataru
crosses his arms as he sits across from Tobimaro, "...when the final peace
between you and the Mendous goes down, do you want to marry Ryooko?!"

Tobimaro looks sick. "Are you crazy?!" he snorts. "I don't want to
have anything to do with that weird woman, even if she is Shuu-chan's sister!
Besides, I've learned that she's interested in your uncle's ward Reigi Yumoa.
How could a relationship between us work if she's got him on her mind?"

*Boy, he's quick on the uptake these days!* Ataru mentally whistles. "I
thought so. So...tell me: whom do you want to marry?"

"I..." Tobimaro moves to answer, then feels his voice fade. "I haven't
thought much about that these days."

Yuukiki glances at Ataru. "Ataru-chan, why don't you head on out of
here? I can take over from this point."

"Eh?" Tobimaro quizzically stares at them. "What are you...Ataru?!!"

Ataru had disappeared with the wind. Tobimaro looks around. "Where'd
he go?!!" he spins on Yuukiki.

"Relax," she smiles, standing. "He's probably heading back to do the
wild thing with Lum. Why don't you sit down and relax, Ton-chan?"

He glares at her. "Aren't you being a little too personal, Seishin-
san?"

"You know who I am."

"I've heard of you," he nods. "You're Sakura-sensei's former classmate.
The one Ataru found under the ruins of your old school."

"Can you guess why I'm here, then?"

Tobimaro blinks. "Um...no."

Yuukiki chuckles. "Relax, Ton-chan. This is an omiai."

"WHAT?!?!?!" he exclaims, bolting away from her. "You mean you're here
because...?! Ataru's brought you here to marry me...?! No way!!!"

"Oh, come off it, Ton-chan," she seductively rises, advancing on him.
"You've been wallowing in your own wounded pride for too long. Time for you
to face reality, kid. And I'm the reality!"

"Says who?!" he falters.

Yuukiki stops, projecting a sympathetic stare. "Says Makoto Soosaku,
Ton-chan."

The effect is instantaneous; pain clouds Tobimaro's face as he stares
into space. An image of an effeminate pre-teen appears in his mind's
eye...who transforms into something with whom Tobimaro Mizunokoji was then
incapable of dealing. "Mako-chan..." he whispers.

Yuukiki squats in front of him. "Ran into Makoto sometime ago when I
was visiting my grandparents in Miyazaki. Nice person, if you ask me. Real
good pro player, too...even though you can't accept that *she* can play as
good as you or any other boy."

Tobimaro turns away. "That's none of your business!"

She grabs him by the arm, hauling him to his feet. "Got news for you,
friend!" she shoves him into a chair. "It became my business when I met her!!
You really are a piece of work, you know that?! You think the world of Makoto
when you didn't realize she was a girl! You played with her every time you
travelled to perfect your skills! Then you find out she's a girl and you turn
around and leave her, not even giving anything of an explanation as to why you
didn't want to see her again!"

"I didn't want to hurt her feelings!!" he snaps.


"Bullshit!! Your father always raised you in believing that girls have
no place in professional sport! You've always believed that! Let them be
cheerleaders, you've always said!!"

"How'd you know that?!" he demands.

"Ataru-chan told me," she crosses her arms. "But when you realized that
the best friend you've ever had is not only a girl but a damn fine baseball
player, you couldn't hack it! You ran away, isolated yourself from her...and
you damn hell broke her heart!!"

"So why are you here?!" he glares at her. "If you've concluded all
that, what possible interest in me do you have?"

She walks around to stare him in the eye. "Because I know what it means
to be alone, Ton-chan."

He blinks, surprised at the change of demeanor. "There are days I curse
Ataru-chan for finding me in Lover's Lane," she turns away with a sigh,
crossing her arms. "All my friends butchered, my two surviving friends living
their own lives, twelve years having gone by..."

"A different world," he muses.

"Yeah," she nods. "A different world. Couldn't figure out what to do
with myself. Sometimes, I was tempted to end it, join my friends. Then I ran
into Makoto."

"How is she?"

"She's cool," Yuukiki turns back to him. "She's got a boyfriend now.
Playing with the high school team. It didn't take her too long to figure out
why you left her. In a sense, you left her so as to not hurt her. She's
angry at you for not having the guts to tell her the truth..."

"I..." he shrugs, turning away. "I should have told her. But...what
was I to do? Say 'I won't play with you anymore because you're a girl?!'"

"And you've hated yourself for it since," she notes.

He moves to counter, then sadly nods. "Well, I've come with a message
from Makoto," she moves to face him.

"What's that?" he stares at her.

She devilishly smiles. "'Break away from your self-pity and get on with
your life, stupid!'"

They gaze deep into the other's eye. Tobimaro feels his pulse rise as
he notes the physical proximity of their bodies. Yuukiki's perfume assaults
his nose. Her beauty tears at his senses. The power of her sexuality draws
his manliness out of its self-imposed shell. But there is a blemish in the
vision before him. Deep in her eyes, pain flashes. Dead friends, culture
shock, twelve years gone with no possible reprieve. Loneliness. The same
ache he felt every time he went into the wilderness, punishing himself.

For so long, pride and cowardice fought to dominate the purpose of his
treks. He wanted to prove himself better than Mendou. There was pride. But
he could not admit publicly, after all his words otherwise, that a woman is
just as good as he. There was cowardice. He found it hard to face himself
sometimes. So, determined to keep his honour, he severed himself, drew
himself away from his one true friend, made himself appear a hypocrite in the
eyes of a woman he might have considered marrying...and in the end run,
isolated him from the outside world.

"I'm gonna need a lot of help there," he admits.

She smiles. "That's where I come in..."

* * *

Next morning, Ataru arrives at Tomobiki High School. "What are you
doing here, Ataru?!" Onsen approaches the former student. "I thought you'd
never wanted to come back here."

"Well, after Lum moves out of Tomobiki, you won't have to worry about
seeing me again," Ataru smiles. "Besides, I've been busy."

"So I've noticed," Onsen snorts. "Even away, you've practically turned
this school upside-down with all your shenanigans. Sometimes I wonder if your
leaving here was actually good for this place or no."

Ataru's eyes roll as Onsen returns to yard monitoring. "Brother, he'll
never get it," he mutters. "Well, time to see how Phase Two's been working,"
a devilish giggle utters from his lips as he proceeds towards the school.

Inside, Lan approaches the school supply store. "Oh, drat!" she sighs.
"What a time to not have any pens!" Arriving at the counter, she calls out.
"Excuse me! Ryuunosuke?! Mr. Fujinami?! Are you here?!"

"Can I help you?" a voice inquires.

Lan jolts in surprise on hearing the unrecognizable voice, then pales in
shock on seeing Nagisa there. "Who are you?!!" the Seishin teen demands.

"I'm Nagisa," he smiles. "I'm Ryuu-chan's boyfriend."

Incomprehension crosses Lan's face. "Ryuunosuke's...*boyfriend*?!" she
looks down to see the feminine blouse and slacks he is wearing.

Confusion crosses Nagisa's face. Despite what their fathers had done,
he always understood that everyone in the school who were close to Ryuunosuke
knew their true gender. "That's right," he nods. "Who are you?"

"I'm Lan," the Seishin teen hesitantly smiles.

Then again. "Oh, yes," Nagisa's eyes roll. "The vindictive, bitchy,
clueless airhead Ryuu-chan told me about!"

Lan faints! "Nagisa-chan," Fujinami scolds. "Don't be so abusive to
the customers! They're not fishermen, you know!"

"I'm sorry, Father," Nagisa bows to his future father-in-law.

Fujinami serves Lan as Ryuunosuke emerges from her apartment. "Have a
nice day, Ryuu-chan," Nagisa emerges in her wake, a box lunch in hand. "Don't
get into weird alien plots or anything stupid arranged by Mendou or the
bodyguards now, hear?"

"Okay, okay!" Ryuunosuke laughs. "Geez, stop mothering me, Nagisa!!"

Fujinami swamps his "son" with a waterfall of tears! "RYUUNOSUKE!!!!
SHOW SOME RESPECT TO YOUR LONG-SUFFERING FIANCEE!!!!!! BE A **MAN** AND
SHOULDER THE GREAT BURDEN OF CARING FOR NAGISA-CHAN!!!!!!"

Ryuunosuke sighs, drying herself off. "Okay, okay, already!! Sheesh!"

The bodyguards then appear around Nagisa, violently insulted looks on
their faces. "What's this about weird plots **we're** supposed to be trapping
that tomboy with, you homosexual?!!" Megane growls.

The four are then crushed under Koosei's Saturn Five!!!! "Who gave you
the right to harass the staff?!!" the teacher snaps, dragging the guards away.
"That's **another** week for you idiots!!!"

The four moan, wondering what they did to deserve a day like today.
Lum, Mie and Shinobu arrive. They are surprised to see the cross-dressing
youth at the school. "Nagisa?!!" the Oni gasps. "What are you doing here?!!"

"Is my son a stud or what?!" Fujinami brags, proudly slapping
Ryuunosuke's back, nearly causing his "son" to double over. "He's been
sleeping with Nagisa-chan ever since she agreed to leave our island and move
to the mainland!! I can just hear the wedding bells now!!!"

The janitor skips into the Fujinamis' apartment. Nagisa giggles as he
proceeds in after his future father-in-law. Ataru observes this from a nearby
corner. "Well, that's working well," he muses.

Sakura appears. "You actually call that well?" she looks confused.
"Ryuunosuke's still dressed as a boy and Nagisa's still dressed as a girl!"

"What did you expect?!" Ataru snaps, shuddering with frustration. "Look
at the materials I'm forced to work with!! Did you actually expect me to pull
miracles out of this morass of weirdness?!! Be serious!!!"

Sakura moans, wondering why she even bothered. Ataru tenses as if
sensing something, then his fist lashes out...nailing Mendou in the nose!
"What...did you do that for...?!" he drops to the floor.

"A conditioned response!" the former class president breathes on his
hand. "The fans're tired of seeing me catch your stupid katanas!"

Suddenly, students are bashed aside when a palanquin drawn by two Kuroko
literally storms into the school!! "Hey!!!" Onsen yells from nearby. "This
is an educational institution, not Shinjiku Station!!!"

Everyone gathers around the mobile chair as one of the Kuroko stands,
then parts the curtain to allow Ryooko to emerge. "Moroboshi-sama?" the
younger Mendou child inquires.

"Ryooko-chan?!" Ataru walks up. "What are you doing here?!"

Smiling, she leans up and places a beautiful kiss on his cheek. "For
two nights ago," she sighs. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Ataru chuckles, rubbing the back of his skull.

Ryooko turns to her palanquin when her brother blocks her path!
"Ryooko-chan, you can't possibly want to marry that jerk!!" Mendou gasps.
"Everyone knows that everyone in Moroboshi's idiot family's perverted!!!"

"Hah!!!" Momoe snaps from nearby. "**You** should talk!!"

Mendou looks as if someone had just stabbed him in the heart. Leaping
over, he gently seizes Momoe's hand. "Momoe-chan, I don't know how it is
possible that you fell under the spell of what slime Moroboshi unleashed to
destroy your pristine innocence, your pure happiness, but do not fear!! I
shall save you from his evil plots...!!!"

"Why are you trying to take my engagement ring?" Momoe hums.

Girls around Mendou gasp, confirming that indeed he is trying to slip
the engagement ring which made her the envy of her classmates. Mendou looks
embarrassed as Momoe fixes him with an icy glare. "You bastard!!" she yanks
her hand away, then delivers a slap that nearly drives him to his knees!

"Shutaro!!!" Lum gasps. "How could you?!!"

"Mendou-san, that's the lowest thing I've **ever** seen you do!!!"
Shinobu growls.

"What did you expect from such an empty idiot?!" Ataru muses.

Mendou sees a sea of disgust and revulsion staring him down. Even
Ryooko is not impressed. "Indeed, what does one expect from such a lifeless
fool!" she sniffs, then glares at her brother. "Shuu-chan, I bear a message
from our parents and Komeru-sama: lay a **finger** on Reigi-kun and you will
suffer the wrath of the **entire** Moroboshi Clan!" She then slips into her
palanquin. "Further, our parents have agreed *not* to interfere!"

Mendou looks horrified as the Kuroko shift the palanquin to carry their
mistress out of the school. "Besides," Ryooko's voice echoes from the chair,
"...I bear no grudges."

The palanquin departs...leaving two grenades at Mendou's feet! They
explode, sending him flying into the clock tower to be crowned by the great
bell above!! Mendou crashes to the floor, then gets buried by the falling
bell! "Mendou, you idiot!!!" Onsen looks incensed. "Clean this mess up!!"

Nearby, Koosei shares tea with the Principal, Sakura and Kotatsuneko.
"Such manners," the elderly school administrator muses. "A pity she did not
come to school in lieu of her brother."

"A pity indeed," the homeroom teacher hums, then presents his cup to the
cat-ghost. "Another, please, Kota-kun?"

* * *

A rumbling is heard. The hapless Mendou, trying to crawl out from under
the bell, is then crushed when a Mizunokoji Challenger tank smashes its way
into the lobby! "WHAT NOW?!?!?!" Onsen howls as he leaps from foot to foot in
a fit of helpless rage.

The driver's hatch pops open and Tobimaro leaps out. "ATARU!!!!!!"

Ataru looks surprised...then faints when the scion of the Mizunokoji
fortune drops to his knees and bows repeatedly at him! "Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you!!!" Tobimaro gasps.

"Er...y-you're welcome..." Ataru stammers. "Um...for what?!"

Tobimaro faces Ataru, a mix of emotions ranging from exhaustion to mad
lust storming across his face. "Yuukiki-chan!!" he gasps. "Where?!! Where
did you find that girl?!!"

"Um...she rather found us!" Ataru stammers.

Koosei and Sakura look shocked. "Ataru introduced Yuukiki-chan to
him?!!" the former looks at Tobimaro.

"Well," the latter muses. "It might be an interesting match."

"Indeed," he nods as they return to their tea.

The students gather around Tobimaro. "You're dating Yuukiki Seishin?!!"
Shinobu gasps. "You actually **like** that wild-child?!!"

"She makes Seiteki Ozuno look tame!!!" Lan adds.

"Wrong series, idiot!!" Ryuunosuke snaps.

"Wh-what did you expect?!" Tobimaro stammers as he tries to put into
words what he just experienced. "She's so...so...so liberal!!!" he shudders.
"The most energetic woman in all the world!!! No, all the **galaxy**!!! She
makes every other girl in this town look like pond-scum!!! Oh, to actually
know her, see her, **touch** her!!!"

The female student body allows his insult to pass. "Well, I'm pleased
you're happy!" Ataru nods approvingly.

Someone is not. "Ton-chan!" Mendou slams Ataru out of the way to
confront his friend. "How could you allow yourself to be seduced by a girl
introduced to you by **this** moron?!!" he stabs an accusing finger at Ataru.

Mendou gets decked by **two** sledgehammers! "Remember that Yuukiki-
chan was **our** classmate, idiot!!!" Sakura growls.

"That's **another** week for you, moron!!!" Koosei adds.

"Besides," Ataru jabs, "...you're *supposed* to be marrying Tobimaro's
sister!! Why're are you complaining when he's on the road to happiness?!"

Mendou looks sick. "I...marry that...MAN-PHOBE?!?!?!"

Tobimaro emits a violent scream, then, in a curious reversal of
conventions, Mendou catches his rival's katana. "You jerk!!!" the scion of
the Mizunokoji fortune snarls. "How dare you insult my sister when you don't
even know what she's had to put herself through so she can marry **you**, you
dingbat!!! If you weren't so infatuated over a girl who wants to marry
another man, you'd've realized that before it was too late!!! Then again, you
always were so full of yourself!!! At least I appreciate what the freely
given love of another truly means!!!"

"Makes me wonder if getting Asuka-chan married to this schlep will do
**her** any good!!" Ataru adds. "Thank the gods for Osooko-chan!"

Before Mendou could mount any form of retaliation, the Challenger's
gunner's hatch opens, allowing Yuukiki to disembark. "Yo, wage-slaves!!!"

Everyone emit a round of wolf-whistles and awestruck gasps as the North
Tokyo High alumni emerges, dressed in a black leather form-fitting bodysuit
with the Mizunokoji Clan's tsunami-and-Man-in-Motion insignia on her left
chest. The zipper is typically undone to her navel, showing all the cleavage
in the world! Every male of high school age save Mendou, Tobimaro and Ataru
are decked by an explosion!! "WHAT A WOMAN!!!!!!"

Ataru notices that Mendou himself is taken aback by Yuukiki. "And you
would ask your friend to reject *her*?!" he gestures. "What an idiot!!"

Mendou faints, blood exploding from his nose! Yuukiki gently guides
Tobimaro to his feet. "C'mon, Ton-chan," she purrs. "I want to see how good
you are inside a tank!"

"C-coming, d-dear...!" the scion of the Mizunokoji fortune slavishly
follows his girlfriend back inside the Challenger.

In moments, the main battle tank has backed out of Tomobiki High School
and proceeds at top speed for the Mizunokoji estate. Watching the machine
depart is the school's ENTIRE male population! As soon as the Challenger
vanishes, they bellow in rage. "***WHAT?!?!?! SHE WANTS HIM?!?!?! LUCKY
BASTARD!!!!!! DIE, YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!***"

Suddenly, Ataru's megaphoned shout cuts them short. "WHAT IS THIS?!?!?!
YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT YOU FINALLY REJECT ***LUM?!?!?!***"

An explosion occurs!! "WHAT?!?!?!" Megane bellows. "NEVER!!!!!!"

An agreeing chorus echoes from the other boys. "Well, everyone here's a
witness!!" Ataru waves to the school's female population.

The boys are drowned out by the confirming chorus from their female
classmates. They are suddenly blasted down by Megane's megaphoned scream.
"SHADDUP!!!!!! NO ONE ASKED **POND-SCUM** LIKE YOU FOR YOUR OPINIONS!!!!!!"

Murderous looks cross the girls' faces, but before they could vent their
anger on the guards, someone speaks up. "Fine, then!"

Everyone stares at Lum, who floats beside Ataru. "Darling," she faces
him. "You may do whatever you want to **them**!!" she points at the guards.

"And **we** won't stand in your way!!" Shinobu adds. "Right, girls?!!"

"RIGHT!!!!!!" the other girls answer.

The bodyguards pale, then shudder on seeing a sinister grimace cross his
face. "It will be a *pleasure*!" he snickers.

The four boys faint! Ataru moves to leave, then looks down at Mendou.
"After them, it's **your** turn, jerk!!!"

Incensed, the scion of Japan's richest family leaps up, drawing his
katana. "Moroboshi, you slime...!!!" he snarls...

...then is frozen when he finds himself facing Onsen! "And **who** is
going to pay for the damage here?!!" the vice-principal demands.

Laughter echoes as everyone delights in Mendou's humiliation. Ataru and
Lum move towards the front gate. Mie and Ryuunosuke follow them. "Oh, this
is the best game you've **ever** come up with, Darling!!!" the Oni giggles,
floating backwards in front of him.

"Naturally," Ataru brushes his fingertips on his blazer, then breathes
on them. "I seem to have a peculiar genius for making the lives of these
jerks totally miserable!!"

"They're such a bunch of suckers, it's almost criminal to pick on them!"
Ryuunosuke laughs.

Everyone howls in agreement. "Oh, once you're finished with those five
dorks, when does our resident airhead's turn come?!" Mie muses.

Unseen, the airhead in question eavesdrops on their conversation from a
nearby bush. Heat emanates from Lan's skin as that insult registers. "Oh,
I've **already** got my vengeance on Lan and Rei!" Ataru snickers.

The girls look surprised. "Oh, how?!" Ryuunosuke looks curious.

"Simple," the former class president cackles. "It's nice to have a
grandma who can influence decisions the United Nations make. When Lum-chan
and I signed our agreement, don't you remember our mentioning that Lan could
never move out of her current place of residence on Earth?!"

"What's to stop her from leaving Earth for a while, then returning and
reapplying for landed immigrant's status?" Mie wonders.

"If she leaves, she can **never** return to Earth!" Lum winks.

The two Terran women look surprised. "I didn't know that!!" Mie gasps.

"Neither does Lan," Ataru winks, "...so don't tell her!"

"We won't!" Mie and Ryuunosuke chorus.

Laughing, they return to school. Behind the bush, Lan is so enraged,
the heat emanating from her body has started a fire! "How...how **dare** that
stupid Darling do that to me?!" she snarls, eyes aflame and fangs barred.
"He...goes and tries to ruin MY life behind my back?!! I'll show him!!!"

She storms to the school...unaware that Ataru knew she was there all
along. "Idiot!!" he watches from the front gate. "She must really think I'm
stupid if she believes she can spy on me without my knowing about it!!"

Snickering with devilish delight, Ataru draws out a cellular telephone
and dials a number. "Hello?!" he speaks into it. "Nokoko-chan?! It's me!!
Look...tell Grandma that Operation: Double-fall is a 'go!!'" He listens to
the response, then nods. "Right! I'm on my way up!! 'Bye!"

Cutting the connection, Ataru shudders as a thought comes to him...then
his maniacal laughter suddenly echoes across Tomobiki! Inside the school,
everyone shivers. "What evil laughter!!!" Megane gasps.

"Who could be thinking such devilish thoughts?!!" Mendou shudders.

"I know who," a voice speaks.

Everyone is surprised to see Cherry standing in front of them! "And
because of that, I will pray for all **your** souls!" the Buddhist monk claps
his hands in prayer. "For you will soon need them!!"

An explosion occurs!!

* * *

The morning after, the guards continue their mindless diatribe against
Ataru in a vain hope of mustering some support for a stand against him. "Why
couldn't those jerks re-channel their energies into getting a life?" Mie muses
as she attempts to ignore Megane's incomprehensible monologue.

At that moment, Lum arrives. The guards immediately fawn over her, but
find themselves quickly retreating when she freezes them with an incensed
stare. "Still hoping I'd save you?!" the Oni sneers. "Don't bet on it!"

"B-but, L-lum-san...!" Megane stammers.

"Don't 'but, Lum-san' me, jerk!!" Lum snaps. "You can't even hope that
Darling'll let you four off the book so easily!! Oh, no," she shakes her
head, "...he's got the **perfect** vengeance planned for you idiots...the type
of vengeance which could make even **death** look welcoming!!!"

The guards look scared, but before anyone could say anything, the
intercom echoes with a message. "Lum to the office for a phone call, please.
I repeat, Lum to the office for a phone call, please."

The Oni looks surprised. "Who could be calling me?!" she walks out.

Mortal terror crosses the guards' faces. "Wh-what could that idiot be
planning against us this time...?!" Megane stammers, hollow-voiced.

"It must be dastardly!" Chibi shudders. "Lum-chan actually supports
it!"

"Wh-what could it be?!" Paama gulps.

"Gods only know!" Kakugari moans.

The other students look pleased. "Well, it's about time Ataru finally
took care of you dorks!!!" Ryuunosuke snorts.

The guards faint! Meanwhile, in the secretary's office, Lum picks up
the phone. "Hello," she smiles. "Lum here."

"L-l-lum..." Nagisa's voice stammers, naked fear and horror all too
apparent, "...come quick...t-to th-the...island...!"

"Nagisa, what is it?!" concern crosses the Oni's face.

"Pl-please..." Nagisa gags, "...c-come quick...br-bring...Ryuu-chan...!"

The phone line goes dead. "Nagisa?!! Nagisa?!!" horror crosses Lum's
face. "Something's wrong!!"

She flies to room 337. "Ryuunosuke, come with me!!!" she reaches over,
grabbing the tomboy by the shirt sleeve and dragging her out of her chair.

"Wh-what is it, Lum?!" Ryuunosuke stammers.

"Nagisa called from the island!" Lum pulls Ryuunosuke to the door.
"Something's very wrong!!"

Concern crosses the Terran's face. "Is he in trouble?!!"

"I don't know," Lum shakes her head. "He sounded urgent!! C'mon!!!"

"Right!!!" the tomboy nods.

She is then yanked back by Mendou! "Do not go, Ryuunosuke-san!" the
scion of Japan's richest family gasps. "Let that transvestite die!!"

A second later, he flies into the roof!! "TO HELL WITH YOU, JERK!!!!!!"

Mendou moans as Lum and Ryuunosuke exit...

* * *

"Quick!!" Nagisa waves Lum and Ryuunosuke from the scout as soon as it
landed on the Fujinamis' island. "Th-this way...!" he points down the beach.

The three move to a point along the shoreline. Half-buried in the sand
is the nearly-consumed skeleton of a man. Fragments of clothing hang from his
body. The three students recoil in horror on seeing the grotesque scene.
"Sick!!!" Lum gasps.

"Oh, shit, what did that?!!" Ryuunosuke gags. "A shark!!"

"No," Nagisa points. "That!"

The three blink on seeing a small group of dead fish washed up on the
short. Confusion crosses their faces. "Aren't those...piranha?!" Ryuunosuke
scratches the back of her head.

"I think so," Lum muses, kneeling beside the skeleton.

"B-but...they're freshwater fish from South America," Nagisa shakes his
head. "What are they doing here?!"

They look at each other. "You don't think...?!" Lum pales.

Nagisa nods. "It has to be...!"

They look at the skeleton. "This...is a murder...!" Ryuunosuke staggers
to her knees. "But...wh-who is he...?!"

"Let's find out," Lum turns to her scout.

In minutes, the Oni intensely scans the remains. Nagisa and Ryuunosuke
comfort the other but remain out of the way. Seeing the reading, Lum's face
flashes confusion...then turns white. "Oh, no...!" she gasps.

"What is it?!" Ryuunosuke gasps.

Lum looks at the skeleton. "Th-this...this is Darling...!"

Horror crosses Nagisa's and Ryuunosuke's faces...

* * *

Within minutes of Lum's discovery, messages are sent to Home Base, Uru
and Koosei's home in Tomobiki. Nassur is summoned from his asteroid base to
commence the investigation. The Invaders come to comfort their daughter at
the time of her loss. Koosei immediately makes his way with Mr. Fujinami to
the island to secure the scene prior to the Vosian's arrival. A sobbing Lum
remains inside the teashop, Nagisa comforting her. Ryuunosuke waits by the
doorway as Koosei arrives. The two quickly compare notes, then notice Lum
wailing, crying into her hands. "When the rest of the town hears this,
they'll celebrate!" Ryuunosuke sighs.

"It's probably starting right now," Koosei adjusts his glasses. "I'll
lay bets that Lan's ship was automatically monitoring the comm channels!"

Disgust crosses the tomboy's face. "Ryooki-sensei, isn't there **any**
way to send that airhead back home?!!"

"Other than killing her or having her visa revoked, no," he sighs...

* * *

Within an hour, the "Kashin" arrives over Tomobiki. On the bridge,
Lum's parents, shocked by the news of Ataru's demise, stare at the curious
scene of a great street party below the battlewagon's keel. "Is it carnival
season?!" Invader scratches his head.

"I don't think so," his wife shakes her head.

The captain turns to his first officer. "Number One, enhance the image
of Tomobiki High School!"

The main viewscreen shimmers, then presents a view of the students
attending a giant rally. The guards and Mendou cheer them, their voices
echoing over the bridge loudspeakers. "This is the day we've waited for so
long!!!" Megane screams. "The evil nemesis of our lives is gone once and for
all!!! Let there be celebration!!! ATARU MOROBOSHI IS DEAD!!!!!!"

The rally's participants, almost all male, let out a giant cheer!
Suddenly, Chibi is smashed down by Momoe, who grabs his loudspeaker and
bellows at Megane. "***YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!***"

Megane is blasted down! "You dork, didn't you hear the fact that Ataru
was murdered?!!" Momoe snarls. "His grandmother will destroy all of Tomobiki
to avenge his death...not that you idiots don't **deserve** it!!!"

The guards bolt to their feet. "Who cares?!!" Megane bellows back,
knocking Momoe down. "Ataru is dead!!! All his evil plots are dead with
him!!! Now NOTHING will stand in our way of claiming that which is rightfully
ours!!! LUM-SAN IS FINALLY OURS AS IT SHOULD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN!!!!!!"

The bridge crew faints! "Are they **still** on that kick?!!" Invader
gasps.

Suddenly, an explosion destroys the scaffolding Mendou and the guards
had stood on!! The five boys find themselves surrounded by a group of angry
hybrids led by Hazel. "Take them!!!" she barks.

The five boys find themselves cuffed and chained. "Wait...wait!!!"
Mendou gasps. "What's the meaning of this?!!"

"Idiot!!" Hazel bashes Mendou across the face with her rifle butt! "You
five're under arrest for Sempai's murder!!! Take them away!!!"

As they are dragged off, Mendou vainly turns to Momoe, Kumiko and
Natsuko. "Momoe-chan, Kumiko-chan, Natsuko-chan!! Help me!!!"

The three girls turn their back on the scion of Japan's richest family.
"No one can help you now, murderer!!" Momoe sneers. "Have a nice afterlife!!"

Before anyone could move to help, they are teleported to the hovering
"Renegade." Random bolts of plasma fire turns the crowd into a screaming mob
which flees as fast as their legs can transport them! Watching this, Invader
nods. "Nice to know that Mr. Groom had some friends!" he sighs.

"Captain, look at Monitor Three," the sensory officer calls out.

The image changes to the Moroboshi house...and the startling scene of
Ataru's mother, quite inebriated, joining the celebration! "WHAT IS
THIS?!?!?!" Invader bellows, a volcano exploding on his head.

Ataru's father reads his paper, totally ignoring what happens around
him. "Hurray!!!" Kinshou laughs. "Hurray!!! That old cow is powerless
now!!! Hurray!!! I wish he was never born!!! Hurray!!! Hurray!!!"

The celebration ends as another group of hybrids drag Ataru's mother
away. Disbelief crosses the faces of everyone on the "Kashin's" bridge. "Um,
sir..." the sensory officer stammers, "...look at Monitor Two."

The image changes to Sakura's shrine. Sakura and Cherry are now praying
by the front door. "Rest in peace, Ataru Moroboshi...rest in peace, Ataru
Moroboshi..." Cherry chants, "...his evil is eliminated once and for
all...rest in peace...rest in peace..."

"Exorcise, purify!" Sakura waves her spirit-sensor. "Exorcise, purify!
Begone from our sight, oh evil of Ataru!! Begone from our minds, of evil of
Ataru...!!"

"***I'VE SEEN ENOUGH!!!!!!***" Invader bellows.

The screen reverts to displaying a view of the Tokyo landscape. The
large captain stares at his communications officer. "Signal Nassur-kun!! If
he needs any help in apprehending the bastards who killed my future son-in-
law, he'll get it!! Then call Mr. Groom's grandmother! Tell her if that she
wants to destroy Tomobiki, I'LL BE WILLING TO HELP!!!!!!"

"Yessir!!!" the young officer stammers as he turns to his controls.

Invader then stares at his first officer. "Record everything we see of
this madness!!" he snarls.

"Sir!!" the one-eyed officer salutes, then turns to a technician.

The large Oni then glares at the images of Tomobiki. "So..." he hisses,
"...you wanted all this time to see Mr. Groom dead, eh?! You're about to
learn that death comes in many forms...especially your own!!"

* * *

On the Fujinamis' island, Nassur examines the crime scene with Naosu,
the hybrids' medical officer. The young doctor does a detailed scan of the
skeleton. While the Vosian remains calm, the hybrid's face is stained with
tears. "It's Sempai, all right," Naosu wipes his face. "No doubt about it."

"Thanks, Naosu," Nassur nods. "Go get something to drink."

Numb, Naosu withdraws. Nassur walks over to Benten, who stands by the
door to the Hamajaya Teashop. "How...?" the Fukunokami stares at her husband.

"How what?!" he looks confused.

"How could you stand looking at that and **not** react?!" Benten nods in
the direction of the crime scene.

Nassur looks back. "If I **did** react to that, I wouldn't be fit to be
a hunter."

Benten looks surprised, then nods. Darsei then relays Invader's signal
to Nassur. Althea then informs Nassur about the success the other hybrids had
in detaining their suspects. Just as Nassur acknowledges the message, the
thunder of retrojets are heard as "Renegade" lands some distance away. In
seconds, a line of chained people are marched out. "Mendou, the guards,
Lan...and Ataru's mother?!" Benten blinks. "Shit, that's vile!"

The sound of mooing is heard. Everyone sees Kinshou mooing at Hazel.
"Moo...moo...you servant of an ageless cow!!" she snarls at the young hybrid.
"Moo...moo...you won't get away with this!!!"

Daros walks over and decks Ataru's mother! "You filthy bitch!!" the
largest of the hybrid growls, glaring at the prisoners. "You stand accused of
murdering your own **son**!!! Don't speak unless you're spoken to!!!"

Disbelief crosses Kinshou's face. "Wh-what...?!" she stammers.

"You heard him, you hag!" Hazel snarls. "You're a suspect in Sempai's
murder!! If you confess now, we **might** allow your execution to go easy!!!"

All the prisoners look surprised. "You think **we** had anything to do
with this?!!" Mendou gasps.

"Oba-chan thinks so!!!" Hazel growls, "...and since none of you have any
alibis...or **excuses**...not to mention willingly instigating the celebration
in Tomobiki, **that** makes you suspects in our eyes!!!"

The hybrids then shove the prisoners towards the teashop. "So make it
easy on yourselves and talk!!!" Hazel growls. "Now, march!!!"

The seven suspects are herded into the teashop. In the shadows by the
back door, someone awaits them, her familiar silhouette unseen by her
"guests." Incensed looks cross all their faces as they stare at the barred
door. "Punishing us for that brainless dolt's death?!!" Mendou growls.
"Whoever is responsible for that deserves a **medal**!!!"

"Agreed!!" Megane nods, sneering.

The grating sound of someone in chainmail armour is heard as their
watcher enters the light. "Pity," a familiar voice chuckles, "...the chances
are there that all of you will be executed for your crimes against Koichi!"

Mortal fear crossing their faces, the prisoners spin around to see Yukio
standing behind them. "YUKIO?!?!?!" everyone gasps.

The apprentice Executioner mirthlessly smiles, tapping her fingers on
her *lim'l*, now unsheathed and ready for action. "Why, how nice of you to
remember me!" the hybrid smiles.

"If I had my sword, I'd make you a head shorter!!!" Mendou snarls.

Standing, Yukio walks up to her challenger...then with a blurring series
of cuts, her *lim'l* rips away Mendou's clothes and trims his hair to a crew-
cut! "Silence, you *his'virq'r*!!! You are now our prisoners!!! One more
word from any of you and I'll **personally** cut your tongues out of your
lying mouths!!!"

The prisoners shiver. "Sh-she's j-joking...isn't she...?!" Chibi gulps.

"Y-y-yehisrites n-never j-joke...!!" Lan stammers.

The door opens to allow Ten-chan inside. A mix of pain, confusion and
anger is on his face. "Hi, Yukio-onee-chan!" the small Oni waves.

"*Hisri'hilm*, Jariten," Yukio nods.

Looking at the prisoners, Ten-chan sneers...then he starts to burn them
with his flame-breath! Everyone screams as they try to get clear, but in the
small space of the teashop, there is no room to manoeuvre. "You jerks!!!"
Ten-chan growls. "How could you do that?!! What did Ataru do to you, eh?!!"
He then spins on Ataru's mother. "And what about you?!! You're Ataru's
**mother**!!! How could you do that to your own son, huh?!!"

"Hey, wait a second, Ten-chan!!" Kinshou snaps. "What makes you think I
had anything to do with what just happened to that idiot?!!"

She gets an additional dose of flame!! "'CAUSE GRANDMA THINKS SO!!!!!!"

Burned to the bone, Ataru's mother drops to the floor! "You always moo
at her, you always call her a cow, you tried to keep her away from Ataru, you
always treated her like dirt!!!" Ten-chan sneers. "Ataru loved and cared for
Grandma...and **this** is the way you ensure she remains alone?!! You creep,
you deserve everything Nassur-chan and Yukio-chan're going to give you!!!"

The door opens to allow Nassur inside. He sits down at a table facing
the accused. Seeing the Vosian, the prisoners move up to him. "What is the
meaning of this?!!" Mendou's fist smashes into the table. "Why are we
suspects in that bastard's murder?!!"

"Because while you all hated him enough to want to kill Ataru," Nassur's
eyes narrow, "...his father was at work; Rei's too much an idiot; Nagisa and
Ryuunosuke have no motive, nor does Mr. Fujinami; Onsen has an alibi as do
Sakura, Cherry and Koosei; Ataru's uncle has an alibi as does his grandmother;
Lum and Mie would **never** think of hurting Ataru; Ten-chan was at school;
Hazel was in Rishiri-tou with Ataru's grandmother and Benten, Oyuki and myself
weren't on Earth! Besides," a bemused smile crosses his face, "...it seems
all of you **do** have motives for seeing Ataru done away with." He looks at
the door. "Will you join us?!"

The accused pale on seeing Lum walk into the hut, especially when they
see the venomous stare on her face. "Ah, there you are, Lum," the Vosian
nods. "Would you care to explain Ataru's activities of the past week?"

The Oni sighs. "Darling was preparing to avenge himself on every idiot
in Tomobiki, Nassur-chan."

"And were these people so targeted?" Nassur nods to the suspects.

Lum icily glares at them. "Every last one!"

Her finger rises as she makes individual accusations. "Mendou and these
four spineless idiots have been a royal pain in Darling's posterior since I
first came to Earth!!" she sneers at the five men who had remained steadfastly
loyal to her. "As for her, well, Darling saw what type of demented, airheaded
bitch she was and he decided that he wasn't going to play her stupid games
anymore!!!" she snarls at her so-called "friend." "I even heard that Darling
was considering the idea of seeing that Rei suffered a fatal 'accident' to
ensure he'd never come back to be a pain!!!" She then turns to Ataru's
mother. "And you?!! Why?!! You insult Grandma all the time when you knew
Darling loved her, you wished Darling was never born every day of the week,
you tried to force him into a life he never wanted...and tricked **me** to
help you do that...and then, you tried to hurt him after he took control of
his life!!! Believe me, if **you're** the one who killed him, I'll make sure
that Grandma is the one who puts an end to you!!!"

The seven shake their heads, trying to look as innocent as possible.
"Thank you, Lum-chan," Nassur nods. "Oh...why don't you tell them who it was
who called us in to investigate Ataru's murder!"

"Why, **I** did, Nassur-chan!!!" she sneers at the accused. "You should
know that by now!!!" She then stares at her former tutor. "And I expect that
you'll deliver the justice due to these slime!!!"

"Of that, you have my oath," Nassur smiles. "You may go, now."

The Oni departs. "So..." the Vosian stares at the accused, "...all of
you have no alibis...and you have motive! Good. I can work with that!"

"You idiot!!!" Lan snarls. "What makes you think we'll stand here and
take this from you?!!"

A second later, the Seishin teen's lower right arm is shattered by
Yukio! Screaming, Lan drops to her knees, gripping her wounded extremity.
The other suspects shiver in mortal fear as the apprentice executioner returns
to her position behind them. "I should warn you that Yehisrites like Yukio
are people who've long learned the many ways to hurt other people," Nassur's
demeanour remains frightfully neutral. "That was a very simple manoeuvre
Yukio used against Lan. If you speak out of turn again, I'll have her do it
again and again until either you're all dead or you show some respect."

His coldness shivers his prisoners to the bone. Nassur's eyes rake over
the leader of the guards. "We'll start with you. Lum's always said that you
were the first to get on Ataru's case over her attraction to him."

To Nassur's surprise, Megane regains his nerve. "First of all, friend,
you don't have any jurisdiction here!" he snickers. "One of the things which
has not occurred is the U.N.'s recognition of your status as an intergalactic
bounty hunter! And since we're all Earth citizens...as was Ataru before
someone was so kind to erase that slime from this planet...you don't have any
authority to hold us, much less question us!!!"

"He has a point, Nassur," Yukio muses.

"I'm aware of that, Yukio," Nassur seems disinterested in Megane's
counter-argument. "But, tell me...do any of you remember Sunhair Windrider?"

Confusion crosses everyone's faces. "What about her?!!" Lan snarls.

"Unlike Earth, Zephyrus **is** a world which recognizes my status,"
Nassur maintains masterful control over himself, "...and the day Ataru and
Windy were engaged...is the day **he** became a Zephyrite citizen!"

The suspects' confusion turns to fear. "And the Zephyrite government
has a policy which states that if any citizen is killed, NO MATTER WHICH
PLANET WHERE HE WAS SLAIN, justice is to be delivered to the culprits!"

The fear turns to mortal dread. "And let me tell you this," one of the
Vosian's eyebrows shift in a steely stare, "...it was **Lum** who lodged the
murder charge with the Zephyrite authorities on Jiyuu! The bishop in charge
of the High Court of Star Chamber on Jiyuu was more than willing to allow me
to carry out the investigation! When I prove your guilt, whoever you are,
you'll be on your way to Jiyuu to face the Holy Inquisition!"

Mortal dread drives the suspects to their knees. Before them, Nassur
appears like a god delivering judgement! "And you should also know this," the
Vosian icily smiles, "...it was also **Lum** who demanded that the punishment
due to whoever you are will be in accordance with **Zephyrite** law...not
Japanese or Urusian law! And the icing on the cake is that **Lum** is the one
who will ask her father to persuade the U.N. you idiots readily hide behind to
ensure that any Earth authority does NOT interfere in what's coming for you!"

The suspects are insensate. There is no hope now. "Now, Megane,"
Nassur glares at the guards' leader. "Let's hear *your* story, shall we?!"

Megane shudders...

* * *

As the celebration continues in Tomobiki, the sky to the east shimmers
as a holographic representation of Lum appears. "***PARDON ME FOR
INTERRUPTING YOUR CELEBRATIONS, IDIOTS!!!!!!***"

Everyone stares in confusion at the Oni's image. Angry tears flow down
her face. "I hope you're satisfied!!!" she snarls. "You always wanted me but
you could never accept that I wanted Darling!!! Well...now that he's gone,
then *I'll* go...back home to join a convent!!!"

Shock and horror crosses everyone's faces. "But first..." Lum's rage
boils, "...to avenge Darling's death...to ensure you PAY for what you've
done...I'll go to Rishiri-tou and ask Grandma to OBLITERATE Tomobiki once and
for all time...so that you will NEVER plague the galaxy ever again!!!"

The image fades. Dumbfounded and disbelieving, people stare at where
their icon's image was, then outraged cries rise from the throats of every boy
in the district. "NO!!!!!! CURSE YOU, MOROBOSHI!!!! COME BACK, LUM-CHAN!!!!
DON'T GO!!!! WE'LL FILL THE GAPING HOLES IN YOUR HEART...!!!!!!"

* * *

Later, Lum's scout lands at Rishiri-tou. She is escorted to the mansion
house. Nagaiwakai awaits in her sitting room. In front of her, images of the
Tomobiki street party replay. "Grandma...?" Lum sniffs as she walks up.

Nagaiwakai neutrally eyes her. "Come in, Lum."

Fresh tears flowing down her face, Lum drops to her knees by the
matriarch's feet, bowing very low. "I'M SORRY!!!!!!"

Nagaiwakai gently lifts the Oni into her arms. "There, there, Lum-
chan," she gives Lum a supportive hug. "A very rude awakening, isn't it?"

Lum leans back, sniffing. "'Awakening?!'"

"That," Nagaiwakai nods to the television.

They stare at the images. "D-darling was trying t-to change..." Lum
gulps, her sadness boiling to rage, "...but th-they never cared! Never cared
one damn b-bit!! I hope Na-nassur-chan finds th-the creep who did it...!!"

"Well, he should put the fear of God into them," Nagaiwakai muses.
"They certainly deserve it!! Tell me, Lum-chan...were you serious?"

"About what?"

"You going to a nunnery?"

The Oni readily nods. "Without Darling," she sniffs, "...what have I
got to keep me here?"

"What about your friends?" the matriarch nods to the television.

Lum glares at the screen. "They're not my friends anymore!" she icily
sneers, then fresh tears shatter her demeanour. "I guess...none of them ever
were...!" she moans, then wailing, leans into Nagaiwakai's shoulder. "I...if
I could still get a sample of Darling's DNA..." Lum sniffs, "...maybe at least
I could have his child..."

Footsteps are heard. "Don't you think you should ask me first before
having that child, Lum-chan?"

Lum faints!

* * *

Several hours later, Lum's scout lands at Ryuunosuke's island. The
sound is muffled through the walls of Hamajaya Teashop as Nassur completed his
interrogation. The seven suspects to Ataru's murder are now broken, defeated
and exhausted from the brutal grilling the Vosian delivered them. "Well,
now," Nassur paces in front of them, "...I've got seven suspects for Ataru's
murder...and now I've got SEVEN confessions!! That's a switch!"

The apprentice executioner looks hungry. "So, Nassur..." she glares,
"...who will face the wrath of the Three-Faced One?! One of them...or all?!!"

The suspects look to the ground, dreading what comes next...as the door
opens and Lum leans in. "Are they still here?!" the Oni snarls.

"Come in," he smiles. "You're about to witness the moment of truth!!"

Lum reaches outside and gently carries a bodybag into the hut. The
suspects turn sheet white. "There!!!" she sneers. "Satisfied now?!!"

The seven shudder, not believing until now that Ataru was really dead.
Lum icily glares at Kinshou. "Looks like you'll die alone now!" she sneers.
"Your only son...dead! And you can't do anything to bring him back!!"

Ataru's mother shakes her head as she reaches towards the bag now
carrying her son. "My baby...my baby...!" she moans.

Suddenly, the students leap to their feet. "I confess!!!" Mendou gasps.
"I'm responsible for this!!! Do what you want with me!!!"

Megane bashes him down! "No, *I* did it!!! I'm guilty!!!"

The guards and Lan quickly join in confession, not only of Ataru's
death, but every crime from Satan tricking Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge
to the assassination of John F. Kennedy! Ignoring this, Kinshou reaches down
to gently unzip the bodybag. "Oh, Ataru..." she incoherently moans. "First,
Kaeru-chan, now you..."

She finishes unzipping the bag...to reveal Ataru's intact face! His
eyes snap open as he smiles. "***APRIL FOOL!!!!!!***" he barks.

An explosion occurs!! The suspects, even Nassur and Yukio, leap back in
shock and disbelief on seeing the "deceased," whole and alive, rise from the
bodybag. "He WOULD haunt us in the middle of the afternoon!!" Chibi stammers.

"Oh, you idiots fell for it **this** time!!!" Ataru mirthlessly laughs.

"Fell for WHAT?!?!" Megane demands.

The door opens to allow Nagaiwakai to step inside. "Why, my annual
'Play A Joke On A Creep!'" the matriarch laughs.

"What?!!" Nassur gasps.

"What did you think?!" Ataru looks incredulous. "You mean Grandma
actually pulled one over **you**?!! Boy, Grandma, you're the best!!!"

"Thank you!!" Nagaiwakai blushes.

"You still haven't told me **why** you did this!!" Lum interrupts.

"Didn't I make it clear earlier?!" the matriarch muses. "Well, once a
year, I locate some deserving twit, arrogant ass or vile reprobate who loves
to prey on innocents, then play a nasty joke on them!" She waves to include
those suspected for Ataru's so-called murder. "It was Tomobiki's turn!"

The seven look incensed when they finally comprehend what they had just
undergone. "Lum-san!!" Megane angrily spins on the Oni. "You mean you
actually **allowed** that bastard and that cow to get away with this?!!"

"I'd like to know how they fooled everyone's DNA scanner," Nassur hums.

"Try cloning, courtesy of Kurama," Ataru smiles. "Payment for her to
stop harassing me from now on!"

Lum looks incensed. "Oh?!! I personally don't care what Darling or
Grandma does to you fools!!! *I* won't raise a finger to stop them!!!"

"But, Lum-chan...!" Lan tearfully cries.

"Shaddup!!!" the Oni roars. "I won't raise a finger in your defence
since **I** remember how you bastards were willing to celebrate Darling's
death at the drop of a hat!!!"

Ataru taps Lum on the shoulder. "Um, Lum-chan...aren't you going to do
something about that?!" he muses.

Lightning dances across her body as she glares at the suspects. "As a
matter of fact, I will!!!" she snarls.

Ataru, Nagaiwakai, Nassur and Yukio make a hasty retreat as Lum advances
on the suspects. A second later, Hamajaya Teashop blows up in a titanic ball
of flame, lightning and charcoal-broiled idiots!! "***HERE'S MY DIVINE
PUNISHMENT, YOU IDIOTS!!!!!!***" the Oni bellows.

Outside, everyone howls in delight on seeing Ataru's and Nagaiwakai's
victims suffer at the hands of the one they venerated for so long. "Well,
after **this** year, what do I do for an encore?!!" the matriarch muses.

"Leave that to me!!" her grandson laughs...

*** The End ***