Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Swords n' Roses ❯ Swords n' Roses: Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Swords n' Roses

Chapter 3

Author's notes: This is better. Don't worry. Anyway, I found out
something really cool! I didn't realize it before, but in Evangelion,
Shinji's seiyuu is Megumi Ogata a.k.a. Sailor Uranus. Misato's seiyuu
is Kotono Mitsuishi a.k.a. Sailor Moon. Rei's seiyuu (along with
Pen-Pen's) is Megumi Hayashibara a.k.a. Ranma-chan a.k.a. Lina a.k.a.
Faye Valentine...Ritsuko's seiyuu is Yuriko Yamaguchi who also did
Anthy to the best of my memory. I'm probably wrong. Then there's
Takehito Koyasu (Touga, Hotohori, Zechs, Ryosuke), Tomokazu Seki
(Kensuke), and I thought that Toshihiko Seki also did a voice in here
but I guess not. Anyway, enjoy

Disclaimer: I own the ::has lost track of inventions and goes back to
Chapter 1 to check:: oh yeah! I own the rights to the Auto-Fic
Machine(TM), the ::checks again:: Bishie Staff (TM), the Black Hole
Backpack (TM), and my latest invention the ::pauses and turns to
Thor:: Thor what did I create again? ::Thor is STILL in the fetal
position:: Since this will also be posted on fanfiction.net, only the
people on the Blood Soaked and Honor Bound mailing list know why Thor
is acting that way. I'll explain later. He's not acting this way for
the story. Oh yeah! My latest invention is Uber Lube(TM) ::several
readers get nosebleeds:: oh stop it! The name is only to fuck with
your mind. It looks like lube, but it's really glue. Hence the `uber'
in the title, this stuff is uber strong. I created it so the damn
pages in my Mixx Manga books would stop falling out. The binding is
really cheap. It's also a very funny trick to pull on your friends!

Saionji: FUNNY?! HOW THE FUCK IS THIS FUNNY? I'M KINDA STUCK HERE!

Touga: Nail polish remover, please.

::Ranma giggles with amusement and hands the stinking fluid to
Saionji:: Enjoy! ::erupts into guffaws as she listens to Saionji's
eternal struggle::

Saionji: OH, SHUT UP!

Ranma: I CAN'T! ::continues to laugh like she did when she got high in
science class in 8^th grade, when she watched the outtakes for both
Grumpy Old Men movies, and when she downloaded a Winamp skin of a
polar bear crapping. All three times she couldn't control her
laughter::

Ranma and Thor leaped out of the portal and onto the campus of Ohtori.
The trip was better than they expected. The lettuce on their
sandwiches wasn't wilting for once, Thor didn't attack the stewardess'
breasts, and they only puked twice. It is still undetermined why they
hurled. It was either because of the brightly flashing colors, or the
fact that the only working in flight movie was `The Beautician and the
Beast' [1].

"I don't care what you say Thor. You sure as hell didn't barf on me
because of the colors."

"I did to! They were all bright...and flashing...and-I'M SORRY! I JUST
REALLY HATE THAT MOVIE!"

"Told ya so." Ranma pulled out a little clipboard, identical to
Tsuwabuki's `cept for the color and added a little check under her
name. Thor scowled at her with annoyance. He held up his backpack,
which was covered in a very interesting shade of green. Ranma sighed
and put a check under Thor's name.

"Well, where do we go from here?" Thor asked.

"Zutto maekara WO AI NI!" Thor sweat dropped as Ranma sang the wrong
lyrics for the wrong song [2].

"That's Don't Mind Lay-Lay Boy, baka," he snapped, "and how about you
focus instead of wasting fanfic space?" Ranma calmed down and put her
backpack back on.

"Gomen, gomen. What crawled up your ass and decided to call it `home
sweet home'?"

"Try my stomach and my guess is something from that sandwich." He
covered his mouth and his face went from the usual dark orange to
booger green. Ranma picked him up by the tail and held him over a
garbage can as he started to vomit again. Sure enough, out came the
cucaracha that had nested in Thor's sandwich, Lay-Z-Boy Chair and all.

"Wendy! I can fly!" it squeaked as it fell into the can. Thor tossed
his cookies a few more times before he stopped.

"All done?" Ranma asked.

"Ye-NO!" Ranma sighed and tried to ignore the students that passed by,
staring at the scene. There was a good five-minute pause after Thor's
last barf before he threw up one last time.

"Are you done already?!" Ranma snapped.

"Hey, Hoshino [3]," Ranma looked to the right and saw Touga staring at
her. With a scarlet flush rising in her cheeks from embarrassment, she
dropped Thor from surprise into the garbage can.

"Welcome to my underground lair," a nasal voice chirped from inside
the garbage can.

"I'm starting to see why Opus [4] hates cockroaches so much," Thor
muttered, trying to get out of the puke pail. He was successful,
grabbed his backpack, and galloped over to Touga who was leading Ranma
to Akio's office. Ranma looked around the campus.

"This place is a lot nicer than I thought."

"It is, now that you're around," Ranma looked at Touga who was leaning
in closer to her. Suddenly, her female intuition started to make her
left ear twitch, which it always did when she knew something was
wrong. Thor saw her ear too and looked over his shoulder. His eyes
bugged out and he raced over to Ranma. Ranma laughed hesitantly.

"Akio-san's office is on the 3^rd floor of the main building, right?"
she asked, trying to ignore what was going on behind Touga.

"No, but actually, he should be cleaning his car, do you want me to go
with-"

"NOTHAT'SOKAYTHANKSTOUGA-SENPAI!" Ranma went racing down the path with
Thor in hot pursuit. Touga scratched his head from confusion.

"I wonder why she was so scared all of a sudden." He turned around,
and became face to face with Saionji whose green aura was flaring up
behind him. Touga suddenly felt very, very, very, very small.

"Sa...Saionji...it wasn't what it sounded like-" In a quick round of
spotlights and familiar henshin music, Saionji was standing before
Touga in his kendo uniform. He unsheathed his katana (not THAT katana
you hentai) and glared at Touga.

"Don't-talk-back," he snapped. Being obedient to Saionji, Touga didn't
talk back. He ran.

Hope you all like it so far! Expect to see more of El Cucaracha coming
up!

[1] This happened to my mom and me one time. We had to watch the damn
movie going to California and back. Talk about torture!

[2] "Where Do We Go From Here" a.k.a. "Boku-tachi wa Kore Kara" (I
think that's the Japanese name) is a song from one of the Ranma ½
OAVs. "Don't Mind Lay-Lay Boy" was the closing for the third season.

[3] My full pen name is Hoshino Ranma a.k.a. "Star of the War Horse".

[4] Political penguin from the infamous comic `Bloom County' and
`Outland'