Vampire Knight Fan Fiction ❯ The Black Sincerity ❯ We All Fall Down ( Chapter 9 )

Author's Note: It's taken months…I know, I'm sorry, but chapter nine is finally finished. I hope there are some people out there that still want to read it. This is the second to last chapter, ten being a nice round number. Thanks to all the wonderful people that commented.

 

Chapter Nine: We all fall down

 

It was dusk when Kaname reached across the coverlet and found Ren gone. Judging by how cool the blankets were she had left quite long time ago. He sat up and covered his eyes with one hand as Yuki's face rose unbidden in his mind. Her gentle smile, the way she touched him softly, the sound of pleasure in her voice when she spoke his name…these were all things he had jeopardized. The euphoria of sex had long faded and was quickly being replaced by tremendous guilt.

 

“Yuki” he whispered in agony “What have I done!?” He felt torn asunder. On one hand he could no longer deny that he was in love with Yuki. He cherished everything about her, but the ramifications of being with her were something he shied away from. He would be driven mad by the luscious scent of her blood yet forbidden forever to partake of it. He knew he couldn't turn her and survive watching her descent into madness. On the other hand being with Ren made sense. She was someone who understood him, was like him and could be with him without changing. Ren was everything Yuki was and in some cases more…but she wasn't Yuki. And that was the single fact that Kaname kept returning to. Kaname shook his head and stood up. Pulling on clothes he walked toward the window but was interrupted by a knock on the door. Without turning around, he called out for them to enter.

 

“Kaname are you coming to class?” they asked.

 

“No not tonight,” he answered as he looked out into the cloudy evening sky. “I need to be alone,”

 

*****

 

Ren sat on the roof leaning her head against a stone gargoyle perched there. The cool stone against her cheek helped her clear her mind and distract her from the slight soreness between her legs. She touched her face remembering the way his fingers had burned paths across her skin. Suddenly her sister's face flashed before her eyes, innocent and happy.

 

“Yuki,” she whispered into the night sky. How did Yuki feel about Kaname? Gratitude for sure since he had saved her life. Ren hugged the stone. Love as a brother…maybe. Maybe more her conscious whispered. “What we did wasn't wrong!” she yelled into the night. “It felt so right,” she said softly. But the insidious voice inside her said she was just trying to justify her actions. You don't really love your sister it said. If you really loved your sister you wouldn't have slept with a guy she might like. Real sisters don't do that. Another voice chimed in, what about Kaemon hmm? Did you even think about his feelings? He loves you so much…what have you ever given him except scorn. You're a dirty horrible girl they said in harmony.

 

“No No NO!” she screamed out loud pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to push the tears back in. Betrayer! Dirty! Horrible! Slut!, they tolled in her head like bells. She couldn't escape; she was left just rocking herself slowly as the moon looked on in pity

 

*****

 

For the rest of the night Kaname never left his room and Ren never returned to hers. Even as the sun made a path across the sky Ren remained there, curled up against the gargoyle statue. As the sunset she finally stood up and stretched her cramped muscles, her stomach growling in protest. She was in search of some food when she ran into Kaname.

 

At first they just stared at each other. Then Ren spoke carefully looking away.

 

“I think what we did was wrong to Yuki. It should never happen again,” Kaname felt himself getting angry. He had come to the same conclusion but he felt like she had beat him to the punch.

 

“What we did was perfectly natural. We have nothing to be ashamed of,” he found himself irrationally arguing.

 

“I don't want to speak of it,” she said still carefully looking somewhere above his left shoulder.

 

“Speak of IT,” he said his voice raising. She tried to shush him. “It..,don't you mean sex, S-E-X, Sex?” She covered her ears.

 

“Shut up! We should both pretend this never happened,” Kaname grabbed her hands and then made her look at him.

 

“You're acting like a child. You know that? A child, Ren,” She stared at him angrily.

 

“Children don't have sex with vampires Kaname,” there was a gasp behind them. Ren saw Kaname freeze. “Oh no,” she whispered “Oh no Oh no Oh no,” She turned around slowly and saw the one person she wished she didn't see.

 

Yuki stood a short distance away with her hand against her mouth.

 

*****

 

Yuki had been looking for Ren all day and was getting worried about her sister. Finally when she got out of classes she decided to check the grounds. She was out walking when she heard someone yelling.

 

“IT,” she heard “IT!? Don't you mean SEX?” Yuki blushed. Students having sex? She should report them but the idea of interrupting such a delicate conversation made her blush. Still I have a job to do, she said. The rest of the words were lost but as she walked closer more of them became clear.

“A child, Ren,” Yuki felt her face go even more red. Her sister!? Talking about sex with someone? Yuki came around the corner just in time to hear

 

“Children don't have sex with vampires Kaname,” Her brain did the simple math and she gasped. Kaname and Ren had sex!? For a moment she couldn't say anything. The two culpable parties stared at her with such surprise and guilt that she knew her conclusion was correct.

 

“How…How could you!?” She screamed. “My sister…and Kaname, of all people you two? I can't believe,” Yuki began to shake. Kaname reached a hand to her but lowered it as Yuki glared at it like it was poison.

 

“Yuki,” he said begging her to understand. “It was just once, it'll never happen again,” he found himself reiterating Ren's earlier words. Anything to placate Yuki, to make her forget what she heard. “Please,”

 

“No. No!” Yuki said and whirled away. She ran away as fast and as hard as she could until she was out of breath. Then she just collapsed where she stood and started to sob.

 

*****

 

Zero found her a half and hour later still crumpled on the ground. She had quite sobbing but still just lay there in shock. He hurried over thinking something was terribly wrong.

 

“Yuki? Yuki? Are you okay,” he began frantic when she didn't respond. Slowly she seemed to come out of her haze.

 

“Zero? Is that you,” she asked.

 

“Yeah, Yuki what's wrong,” For a moment she looked puzzled and then her eyes began to fill with tears again, “Hey Yuki this is me, remember. You can tell me if something's wrong. I'll fix it. Did that vampire hurt you? I'll kill him if he did,” Zero said fiercely. Yuki waved her hand weakly.

 

“No No,” she said “Well he did but he didn't. I mean he didn't hurt me directly,” Tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. She threw herself in Zero's arms and began to sob anew. “Oh Zero it was horrible,” she cried. For a moment he had stiffened when she grabbed him but he gently put his arms around her and held her close. Rubbing her hair slowly he asked,

 

“What was,” Yuki began to hiccup and sob at the same time.

 

“Kaname HIC and Ren HIC slept HIC HIC together,” she said. Zero wasn't sure he'd heard alright,

 

“Kaname and Ren slept together?” he said incredulously.

“Yeah HIC” she clung to Zero tighter.

 

“Oh Yuki, I'm so sorry,” he said. Deep inside a part of him was wondering why that was so bad… Stop that he thought, quelling the insidious little voices inside of him. Right now I have to empathetic for Yuki, it's what she needs he told them. Zero continued to hold her gently before taking her to her room.

 

“Don't worry I'll keep watch tonight. You should sleep, doctors orders,” he said. Yuki nodded miserably giving a weak smile at that last bit.

 

*****

 

Yuki was just about to drift off when she heard a light knocking at the door. Thinking it was Zero again, she called out

 

“Yes?”

 

“Yuki,” came the muffled reply. It was Ren.

 

“Go Away, I don't want to talk to you,” she said angrily

 

“Please Yuki lets talk about this,”

 

“No,”

 

“I understand that you're angry I'd be angry too in your place. But we can't let this destroy our relationship. We've got to work through this,” Ren pleaded.

 

“No we don't. I don't even remember you ever being my sister. You could be fake for all I care. Now leave me alone,”

 

“Yuki…please,” But Yuki remained unmoved.

”Leave,” she demanded and then turned over in bed. She ignored Ren's pleas until finally they stopped. She must have left Yuki thought, Good riddance!

 

******

 

The next morning Yuki felt better. She had a full nights sleep, the first she'd had in awhile and she was feeling charitable. She decided to go look for Ren and let her apologize. I may not forgive her, but a least we can talk she thought reasonably. She knocked on Ren's door and then realized it was partially ajar. She opened it all the way and stepped in. The room was bare, even the bed had been stripped of its linens.

 

Turning around she found the chairman leaning against the doorframe.

 

“Ren?” she asked. He shook his head.

 

“I'm sorry Yuki, but she left sometime last night. She didn't anyone anything. I was hoping you knew why she left,” he eyed her puffy eyes shrewdly, “Did you guys get into a fight?” he asked. Yuki began to shake her head but stopped.

 

“I guess you could say that,” she said looking at the empty room feeling an lonely ache in her heart. She'll come back soon, she thought, she has to.