Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Escaflowne Goes Hiking ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own this wonderful, fantastic, amazing, astonishing, brilliant, splendid, glorious, outstanding, marvelous, and grand anime series, Vision of Escaflowne. Though you know I wish I did. ^___^

 

 

Escaflowne Goes Hiking.

 

Spoilers: Yes: Oh before I forget, there is also a Kenshin saying in this chapter, but just one, though. See if you can guess which one. ;)

Author's Note: I don't own the song “One More Last Chance” by Vince Gill.

 

Allen: (arms folded) “Do I get the girl here? I was promised the girl! I'm the hero!”

Squall's Scar: (shoos him) “Yes, whatever you say.”

 

Van: (with hand on sword) “WHAT?! I'm the hero! I get the girl!”

 

Squall's Scar: “Both of you get the girl of your dreams! So on with the fic!!”

 

Van and Allen: “OK!”

 

Then they scratch their heads and wonder how that is possible.

 

Allen: (sparkles in eyes) “You mean a threesome?!”

 

Squall's Scar: (shaking head in disappointment) “Allen, you cheeseball.”

 

 

 

 

 

The characters of Escaflowne decide to go on a hike for charity. Van and Hitomi are in front their house, leaving for the hike.

 

Van: “I can't believe that you got a part in this hike, especially with your minor role!”

Hitomi: “You poopyhead! I'm the star!”

 

Van: “Are you a moron? I'm the star, not you. You're just a CO-star. CO-

 

star.”

 

Hitomi: “I can't believe we live in the same house! I'm moving out after the hike!”

Van: “Good! I'll find someone else to help me pay the rent! I'll save money with all the windows you break playing baseball outside even though it's against the rules!!”

Hitomi: “Loser! I'm not a total klutz!”

Van: (grabs Hitomi's hand and pulls her before she hits her face against a tree)

 

An hour later:

Hitomi: “Are you done laughing? We're late for the hike.”

Van: “…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…”

Another hour later:

Hitomi: “Van, that wasn't funny. You're missing the hike standing here and laughing.”

Van: “…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…”

Another hour later:

Hitomi: “Van, Escaflowne broke a nail.”

Van: “…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…What?'

 

At the meeting place:

 

Van and Hitomi strut in, where the other characters have postponed the hiking trip.

 

Allen: “Why are you two THREE hours late?”

 

Hitomi: (light-headed) “Allen, don't tell me you stalled the hike for three hours just for a chance to be with me?”

 

Van: (polishing Escaflowne) “Allen! You won't believe what she almost did!”

 

Hitomi: (elbows Van) “What are you talking about? Van, over here, stopped to pick up his guymelef. Guys and their guymelefs, go fig.”

Curtains close on Hitomi and Van for ten seconds, and then they re-emerge.

Balgus: “You shouldn't hit girls, Lord Van!”

Van (looking far and wide): “I don't see any girls around here!”

Allen (running over to Hitomi) “Hitomi, are you alright? You have scratches and bruises all over your good-looking, beautiful, alluring, charming…”

Merle: “Figures it'd be hairball, over there, drooling over her. No one else wants her, (turns to Van) right Lord Van?”

Amano (knightly pose): “Allen's drooling over MY Hitomi? He must die!”

Yukari: (Good Book in her left hand and a rolling pin in her right): “You've drooled over Hitomi for the last time with the whiskey on your breath. If you don't listen to my preaching, boy, I'm going to beat you half to death.”

Hitomi (ignoring Amano, and blushing for Allen): “Tee hee!”

Amano (completely rejected by Hitomi, and grovelling at Yukari's feet): “Give me just one more last chance before you say we're through.”

Yukari (tosses rolling pin and the Good Book aside): “Amano! Of course, I'll forgive you!”

Scene cuts to the other members, while these two start making out. Meanwhile, Van is looking at vacation pictures.

Balgus: (grabs vacation pictures) “Now where did our young king go for vacation?”

Van (mutters) “The Mystic Moon.”

Balgus (shocked look on his face) “Your Majesty! Who is this stunning beauty with the long hair and nose? Why, she'd fit right in with our Escaflowne cast!”

Van (tries to grab picture): “Balgus, give it back!”

Balgus (continues teasing): “She looks like your mother! So it's true! `Boys look for girls that are similar to their own mothers!' Mama's king! Mama's king!”

Merle (with torches and backed by Van's fans): “Don't tease Lord Van!”

Balgus (so scared that he drops picture and zips off to the starting line of the hike) “EEEP!”

Van (makes a dash for the picture): “They're safe!”

Allen: “…gorgeous, curvaceous, enticing,…”

Escaflowne cast, except Allen: (leaves for starting point of hike, shaking their heads in disappointment)

Sponsors of hike: “Why are you all FOUR hours late for the hike?!”

Van: (points to Allen) “Allen, the knight in shining armour.”

Sponsors: “Uhhh….why is he in a straight-jacket?”

Allen: (sparkles in eyes) “…stunning, attractive, exquisite…”

Sponsors: “Is he talking about the hike?”

Cast (sighs): “Yes.”

Sponsors: “Since we had FOUR hours to kill, we decided to change the hike a little.”

Princess Millerna: “What kind of change? I hope it's not a race. I can't run in these shoes.”

Scene does a close up on her glass slippers.

Sponsors: (strike a pose) “This is now a race everyone! The first one to the finish line will get the total prize money!”

Everyone: “Yay!”

Princess Millerna: “Oh pooh!”

Sponsors: (pull out list from inside their coats) “First a few rules to make sure no one cheats. Rule #1 is `You must race in pairs.'”

After the pairs are made, everyone heads to the starting point.

Merle: “Why does SHE get to pair up with Lord Van? I've known him all his life?!”

Hitomi: “I love Van.”

Van's eyes are glazed over, like a king in love.

Merle: “So? I do too!”

 

Hitomi: “Van returns my love.”

 

Van, quietly, tiptoes away from the bickering girls.

 

Merle: “Van loves me too!”

 

Hitomi: “I'm going to marry Van.”

 

Van is seen at a wedding ceremony at the horizon, dressed as the groom and getting married to the most beautiful, talented, kindest, most intelligent, sweetest, funniest, most loving, and perfect in every way bride.

Merle: “I WANT to!”

Van comes back to the girls with his new bride at his side: “Actually, I love Squall's Scar! We just got married!” (picking me up, and twirling me around)

Hitomi: “What was her name, again? Warthog's Fart?”

Suddenly Allen pops out of his trance.

Allen: (touched) “(sniff) You are the greatest fanfic author I've ever known.”

A huge grin suddenly appears on Allen's face as he skips over to a broken-hearted Hitomi.

 

Allen (with glee): “Now that Van is taken, Hitomi, will you re-consider my marriage offer?”

Hitomi (through tears): “I thought you (sniff) loved me as a sister.”

 

Allen (taking on a manly stance): “I lied. I love Celena as a sister.”

 

Hitomi: “She IS your sister!”

 

Allen (flips his hair and begins to put cotton in his ear): “She's Dilandau, right now. Anyway, wasn't I a great kisser? Wouldn't you want to be kissed like that every morning?"

Hitomi (shouting): “Allen, you are the most arrogant person I have ever met!”

 

Allen (takes out the cotton in his ear): “I love you, Hitomi. I was your first kiss. You NEVER kissed Van in the series. I'm taller than Van, better-looking, and more charming than him.”

Squall's Scar (coughs): “Noyou'renot.”

 

Allen (pointing his sword at my throat): “What was that?”

 

Squall's Scar (terrified): “Uhhh....Polka dot?”

 

Hitomi (in denial): “Anyway, Van still loves me because he has never kissed anyone either.”

Van grabs me and kisses the wind out of me.

 

Squall's Scar: @___________@ "WOW!"

 

Van: @____________@ "WOW!"

 

Hitomi (eyes wide): "Van...your first kiss..."

 

Van (in the aftermath of the kiss): @____@ "...Oro.."

 

Squall's Scar (blushes): "Hitomi?"

 

Hitomi (disgusted look): “YOU raped Van!!!!”

 

Squall's Scar: “I did what?! Oh, you don't want to live anymore!”

Hitomi (fighting stance): “Bring it on!”

The two girls take a fighting stance. Hitomi loses her balance and falls on Squall's Scar causing a scratch on her shoulder.

Squall's Scar: “Ow!”

Then, Squall's Scar pulls out a bazooka and aims it at Hitomi.

Squall's Scar: “You will pay tenfold!”

Van grabs Squall's Scar and whispers something in her ear. Allen is seen looking around for something on the ground with a telescope. Squall's Scar tries to release herself and head over to Hitomi. Van only tightens his hold on her, with obvious delight.

Squall's Scar (struggling): "Let me go! I have a life to extinguish!"

 

Van: “Wait! Why do you have to fight? You would just get hurt and then I would have to dress your wounds by taking off your clothes and touching your body with my hands and…”

 

Suddenly, a dazed Van releases his new wife. Merle walks over to him with a towel to wipe his drool.

 

Allen: (with a bag of popcorn) “Chickfight!”

 

Hitomi walks over to Squall's Scar to slap her, but trips on something.

 

Hitomi (picks up a comb): "Who does this belong to?!"

 

Allen (joyfully): "Thanks, Hitomi! I was just looking for that! That is my most prized possession...er...I mean, (throws on a grave look) that is my comb."

Merle: (snickers)

 

Hitomi (arches an eyebrow): "Right...anyway, (turns and points finger at Squall's Scar) you must die..."

Squall's Scar is seen in the distance, gazing at the sunrise in Van's lap, completely ignoring Hitomi. Scene does a close up on their conversation.

Van: “Why do I have to carry you and let you sit on my lap?”

Squall's Scar: “Because I was wounded in a battle defending your honour.”

Van: “You can walk, though, can't you?”

Squall's Scar: “No. You see, I hurt my shoulder.”

Van (adorably confused): “You walk on your shoulders?”

Squall's Scar (trying to change the subject): “So, Van, you lived with Hitomi, right?”

Van: “Yes. But, it was only to help pay the rent. Nothing happened between us. Just like in the series.”

Squall's Scar: “Well, in that case, I'll forgive her. I won't fight her, since there's nothing to fight about anymore.”

Van (eyes light up): “Aw, were you jealous?”

Squall's Scar (defensive): “No way!”

Van (evil glint in eyes): “Really? Then the truth is that we slept together every night in the same house.”

Squall's Scar takes out a samurai sword and puts on a look of death.

Squall's Scar: “The She-Devil must die!”

Over yonder:

Allen (holds Hitomi from behind): “Hitomi, I have no interest in any girl except you! You can stop playing hard-to-get. I love you!”

Hitomi (blushes): “Yes, Allen.”

 

Allen (looks around confused): “What? Who? When? Where? Why?”

 

Hitomi (imitating the moment she THOUGHT she loved Van): “…Because I love Allen…”

 

Wind blows through the scenery. Fields become lush with grain. Clouds part. Hitomi runs to Allen. Dream-like atmosphere appears. But Hitomi trips and falls on something. Picking up a nail file, she looks at Merle.

Hitomi: “Who left this here to trip me?”

 

Merle: (snickers)

 

Jajuka runs by screaming and flailing his arms.

 

Jajuka: “Run for your life! There is a grave and evil force on the loose! It will swallow you whole if you stand still with your feet planted firmly to the ground! You will never outrun its incredible speed if you don't start running for your life right now! If you don't listen to me, your future is in terrible danger and you will never be able to have children! I can feel it!”

Suddenly, there is a rustle in the bushes that lets out a dangerous growl. Everybody, except for Allen and Hitomi, runs for their life.

Allen (wraps his arms around Hitomi): "I'll protect Hitomi! Are you all right? I'm here for you. Now, will you marry me?"

Hitomi: "Yes, Allen!!"