Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Escaflowne Performs MACBETH ❯ Act Five ( Chapter 5 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Feye Morgan 
The dramatic conclusion!
Anime/Manga: Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.05.2003 | Pages: 7 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 330 | Status: Completed
The dramatic conclusion!
Anime/Manga: Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.05.2003 | Pages: 7 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 330 | Status: Completed
ONWARD!
I dedicate this parody to my awesome, wonderful, perfect, ideal AP English teacher. She is what made this story possible. Please keep her in your hearts: she is going through a very hard time right now.
Disclaimer: I have decided to let Fred do the disclaimer. Fred, do I own Macbeth, any allusions to Star Wars, or Tenkuu no Escaflowne?
**Fred shakes his head vigorously, and continues gnawing on his steel chew-toy**
I do, however, own Fred. He's mine. Try to steal him, and he will savage you.
Allen Schezar...Macbeth (the tragic hero with ambition to become king)
Princess Millerna...Lady Macbeth (his at-first ruthless, ambitious wife)
Dilandau Albatou...Macduff (a Scottish noble who is very loyal to his king)
Princess Eires...Lady Macduff (his wife)
Isaac Dornkirk...King Duncan (the king of Scotland, who seems to have lost his touch to rule...)
Van Fanel...Donalbain (the king's younger son)
Folken...Malcom (the king's eldest son)
Gaddess...Banquo (Macbeth's best friend, and a soldier)
Prince Chid...Fleance (Banquo's son)
Hitomi Kanzaki & Co...the witches (The Three Fates, who have a knack for eerie predictions)
Merle...the gentlewoman (just...a gentlewoman with a short part)
Chesta...Lennox (This guy and the next four down are random Scottish nobles, also called thanes)
Gatti...Caithness
Dalet...Ross
Migel...Menteith
Gui mel...Angus
Zaibach Army...Malcom's Army
Feye: Presenting, the -final act-, the -dramatic conclusion-! This is where all the forces converge and explode in one giant fireball!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eires: *sweatdrops* I think Feye had a wee bit too much sugar today.
Folken: I believe Miss Morgan has finally snapped under the stress.
Feye: Yessssss, my pretties! I have! **Feye cackles insanely**
All: O.O
Dilandau: Sweet! This means that I can run around and BURN stuff!!!
Feye: Oooo...fire...pretty...
Allen: What are we going to do with our director like this?
Dilandau: Straight-jacket?
Van: YOU need one more that SHE does, Albatou.
Dilandau: Thank you. I try.
**Meanwhile, Feye has swiped a lighter and is staring at the flame, entranced**
Merle: Well we -do- need a director.
Millerna: Well NATURALLY the task falls to ME. I AM the STAR of this performance.
Allen: Actually-
**Millerna elbows Allen, sending him into a coughing fit**
Millerna: My first order: everyone dresses up in pink ballerina tutus (the guys can wear blue), and we -all- run around and -destroy- the set!!!! **Millerna beams**
Van: ?!?!
**Van runs over to Feye, grabs her, and starts shaking her by the shoulders**
Van: SNAP OUT OF IT FEYE!!!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
**Feye blinks**
Feye: What's going on?
**The saner members of the Escaflowne cast sigh in relief**
Dilandau: Aw rats.
**Feye eyes him suspiciously**
Feye: Um...aaaand NOW, the final dramatic conclusion of MACBETH! Enter the Doctor and Merle as the Gentlewoman.
**The said cast members scurry onstage. Merle describes to the Doctor how Millerna has been walking and talking in her sleep. Then, Millerna enters...walking and talking in her sleep**
Merle: Lo, you, here she comes. This is her very guise and,
Upon my life, fast asleep. Observe her; stand close.
Doctor: How came she by that light?
Merle: She has light by her continually. 'Tis her command.
**Millerna suddenly spins around, and torches what is left of the curtains from Act One**
Millerna: DEATH AND FUZZY PINK FLAMINGOES!!!!!!!!
All: O.O
Dilandau: Nani?
Feye: Millerna. Please. Return. To. Your. Character. Or. Else. Got it? **Feye twitches. Millerna sulks, and goes back to sleepwalking. She rubs her hands, as if she's washing them**
Millerna: Yet here's a spot.
Doctor: Hark, she speaks.
Merle (offstage): Yet another brilliant revelation.
Millerna: Out, damned spot, out I say! One. Two.
Why, then, 'tis time to do't. Hell is murky. Fie, my
Lord, fie, a soldier and afeared?
Yet who would have thought the old man
To have had so much battery fluid in him?
Pendant: Blood...death...DESTRUCTION!!!!!!
Tarot: No censored, Sherlock.
Millerna: The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now?
Feye: Another of my favourite lines.
Merle: I would not have such a heart in my
Breast for all the dignity of the whole world.
Doctor: This disease is beyond my practice.
Infected minds to their deaf pillows will
Discharge their secrets.
More needs she the divine than the physician.
God, God forgive us all. Look after her.
**They exit. Enter Migel, Gatti, Dalet, Guimel, and soldiers**
Migel: The English power is near, let on by Folken,
His uncle Siward, and the good Dilandau.
Van (offstage) The 'good' Dilandau?!? Talk about an oxymoron.
Gatti: Who knows if Van will be with his brother?
Van: I MIGHT IF I HAD A LONGER D--- PART!!!!!!!!!
Dalet: Pipe down. You had a long -enough- part in the series.
**Van sniffles**
Migel: What does the tyrant?
Gatti: Oh mostly he combs his hair, fluffs his shirts, and snuggles his pink bunny slippers.
Chesta: O.o
Guimel: Now does he feel
His secret murders sticking on his hands.
**They exit. All, the Doctor, and Attendants enter**
Allen (who is feeling very cocky after Hitomi & Co.'s predictions): Bring me no more reports. Let them fly all.
Till Birnam Wood remove to Dunsinane,
I cannot taint with fear.
"Fear not, Allen Schezar. No man that's born of woman
shall e're have power upon thee."
**Our focus turns backstage**
Dilandau: So..umm...Feye...buddy...pal...
Feye: You want food, right?
Dilandau: How'd you guess?
Feye: I'm telepathic. I can see your innermost thoughts.
**Dilandau turns BRIGHT red**
Feye (unphased): I already -have- food for you. I thought ahead of time.
**Feye snaps her fingers and a blue beam of light shoots down, depositing a table laden with popcorn, hot dogs, ding-dongs, fruit candies, cookies, and vanilla soymilk.
Van: What's with the soymilk?
Feye: There HAS to be something -healthy- in there.
**Van winces. Folken, meanwhile, has poured himself a glass of the crushed bean milk** (AN vanilla flavoured soymilk is actually very tasty, and I used to hate soy. Really, try some!)
Folken: This is actually quite tasty.
Van: ?
Folken: :)
**Meanwhile, a servant has informed Allen of the 10,000 soldiers approaching Dunsinane. He calls for Seyton to help him put his armor on. His 'armor' consists of neon powder-puff balls that pin onto his already poufy shirt**
Dilandau: YEAH GOOD WORK SCHEZAR! NOW YOU'D SCARE -ANYONE- AWAY!
**Allen isn't sure whether to burst into tears or beam proudly. His expression is a combination of both**
Feye: ROFL!
**Allen is annoyed that the Doctor can't heal Millerna. Or is that glee on his face?**
Allen: So...Doc...Is she gonna die?
Doctor: Um...Therein the patient
Must minister to himself.
**Allen stares at the Doctor**
Allen: Throw physic to the dogs.
**Millerna starts**
Millerna (from offstage): Honey Kinser snuggly-wuggly sweety pie lovey-dovey baby-poosers!
**Allen winces**
Millerna: You didn't -really- mean that, did you? **Millerna smiles sweetly as she balances a ten-inch long hypodermic needle in her hand**
Allen: *sweatdrops*
**The stage empties, with Allen avoiding Millerna. Folken, Siward played by Gaddess-**
Gaddess: YESSSSSSSSS! I get another part!!!!
**-Siward's son played by Prince Chid-**
Chid: Are you seeing a pattern here?
**-Migel, Gatti, Guimel, and soldiers enter the stage**
Gaddess: What wood is this before us?
Migel: The wood of Birnam.
Folken: Let every soldier hew him down a bough
And bear't before him. Thereby shall we shadow
The number of our host and make discovery
Err in report of us.
Soldier: It shall be done.
**They exit. Merle is backstage. Staring, horrified, at Folken**
Folken: What?
Merle: You're going to cut down all those trees?
Folken: Just the branches.
**Merle flexes her claws. Folken raises an eyebrow and fingers his crima arm**
Feye (desperate): Umm...Merle, Folken, it's the last act for cryin' out loud. Save it for after.
**Merle sniffs contemptedly**
Feye: Millerna, you are doing an extra added-in scene.
Millerna: OOOOOO! Do I get to KILL someone?
Feye: *sweatdrops* Um, no, not exactly...it's the scene of your own death.
Allen and Millerna: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
**Both stop suddenly and stare at each other. After a moment, Millerna walks onstage. Sniffling, she moans and mopes, hoping for sympathy**
Van: How cheesy.
Dilandau: Just DIE already!
**Millerna turns blue. She smashes her fist on the floor, breaking a nail. She looks at it with a tragic expression, and drops dead. Allen, Seyton, and soldiers enter the stage**
Allen: Hand out our banners on the outward walls,
The cry is still "they come!" Our castle's strength
Will laugh a seige to scorn.
**There is a cry of women from the sound effects crew**
Allen: What is that noise?
**Seyton exits. Allen bemoans the fact that he had forgotten how to fear or feel. Seyton comes back**
Seyton: The Queen, my lord, is dead.
Allen: ...
Feye: ...
Allen: ...
Feye: ...
Allen: ~OH HAPPYYYYY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! THE SUN IS SHIIIIIIIIIIIINNNIIIIIINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
**Allen does a jig, his hot pink bunny slippers flying in the air like flags**
Feye: Allen.
Allen: She should have died hereafter, and sooner.
Van : HERE HERE!
Allen (dramatic pause): Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Our, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.
**There is a respectful silence at the end of this amazing, wonderful, awesome soliloquy. Feye sighs happily. Then...**
Dilandau: Amazing, O Lord of Fuzzy Poufs. You admitted you are an idiot. Congratulations.
**Allen's eyes narrow. Feye thinks she should have known it was too good to last**
Allen: I am going to kill you Albatou.
Dilandau: Too bad you're playing Macbeth. **Dilandau smirks**
Feye: Don't looke at me, Allen.
**A messenger goes onstage**
Messenger: As I did stand my watch upon the hill
I looked towars Birnam, and anon methought
The wood began to move.
Hitomi: It begins. *evil cackle*
**Allen goes nuts, bunny slippers flying in the air**
Allen: If you lie, you DIE!!!!
**Allen peers out, and apparently sees Birnam Wood moving**
Allen: ...mommy.
**They exit. Enter Folken, Gaddess, Dilandau, and the Zaibach Army, all carrying tree branches**
Folken: I've always wanted to be an Ent.
**Merle rolls her eyes**
Folken: Gaddess, and your right noble son,
Lead our first battle. Worthy Dilandau and we
Shall take upon's what else reamins to do,
According to our order.
Gaddess: Do we but find the tyrant's power tonight,
Let is be beaten if we cannot fight.
Dilandau: Make all our trumpets speak; give them all breath,
Those clamorous harbringers of blood and DEATH!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
**They exit, and Allen enters**
Allen: They have tied me to a stake-
Dilandau (cackling from offstage): Burn! BUUUUUUUUURRRRNNNNN! MOEROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Allen (unnerved): What's he that was not born of woman? Such a one
Am I to fear, or none.
**Enter young Chid**
Chid: What is thy name?
Allen: My name's Allen Schezar.
Chid: The devil himself could not pronounce a title
more hateful to mine ear.
**They fight. Suddenly, Allen gets an idea**
Allen: Chid!
Chid: What!
**Dramatic pause**
Allen: Chid...I AM YOUR FATHER! *ominous music*
Chid: *gasp* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *dies*
All: O.O
Feye: Lol.
**Hitomi snickers**
**Allen exits. Dilandau enters**
Dilandau: Tyrant, show thy face!
If thou beest slain, with no stroke of mine,
My wife and children's ghosts haunt me still.
**Dilandau exits. Folken and Gaddess enter**
Gaddess: This way, my lord.
Folken: We have met with foes that strike beside us
But ALWAYS SHALL THE SOY BEAN PREVAIL!!!
All: O.o
Gaddess: Er...enter, sir, the castle.
**They exit**
Feye: WHY did I bring soymilk? Why?
Dilandau (stuffing his face while readying his lines): I like the rest you've brought.
**Feye rolls her eyes. Allen enters the stage, pink poufs to the absolute MAX**
Allen: Why should I play the roman fool and die
On mine own sword?
Van (offstage): You play the Asturian fool well enough.
Hitomi: Yeah, oh "gallant heavenly knight".
Merle: More like gallant heavenly walking-perfume-advertisement-billboard.
Allen (miffed): It's not just ANY perfume!!! It's SPECIAL perfume!!!
Hitomi: Yeah, yeah. **She looks disgusted**
**Dilandau enters the stage, grinning like a maniac and twirling his sword**
Dilandau: Turn, hellhound, turn!
Allen: Hellhound yourself, meanie!
Of all men else I have avoided thee.
But get thee back. My soul is too much charged
With blood of thine already.
Dilandau: My voice is in my sword, thou bloodier villain.
**Dilandau attacks Allen. Poufs go flying, and Allen's hot pink earmuffs/bunny slippers are askew**
Allen: HA! I bear a charmed life, which must not yield
To one of woman born.
**Dilandau gets his infamous evil grin. You know, the one when he's about to charr something**
Dilandau: Dispair thy charm
And let the angel whom thou hast served
Tell thee Dilandau was CREATED BY MADOUSHI!!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**Al len stares, horrified**
Feye: Allen? Your lines?
**Allen opens his mouth, screams like Hitomi, Millerna, Eires, Marlene, and Yukari combined, and turns tail, bolting offstage. He runs smack into Hitomi & Co., who promptly use their psychic powers to boot, very very painfully, the lacy knight back onstage**
Feye: ALLEN! Macbeth is supposed to be BRAVE!
Allen: B-but my POUFY SHIRTS are in DANGER!!!!
**Feye is quickly restrained**
Allen [to Hitomi & Co]: You traitorous %$##@*&&!!!
**Hitomi & Co. smile proudly**
Dilandau: Then yield, coward, and live to be paraded like the feathery chicken you are!
Allen (sniffling): I will not abandon my faithful fluffs.
Lay on, Dilandau! And damned be him that first cries "Hold! Enough!"
**They exit fighting. Allen inadvertantly trips over the food table, dumping it on the floor. Dilandau, Folken, and the rest stare at their ex-feast**
All: DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
**Allen runs screaming onstage, followed by Dilandau, who stage (or maybe not?)-kills him. Dilly triumphantly drags Allen backstage**
Allen (faintly): My...shirts...dirty... **He faints**
**Folken, Gaddess, Dalet, and thanes enter the stage. Folken and Gaddess discuss Chid's death, and Dilandau enters with a stage replica of Allen's head on a pike. Everyone stares at the head**
Folken: You know, the slippers kind of ruin the effect.
**Folken goes on a long speech, remarks on Millerna's suicide, proclaims all thanes to be earls, and bows with a flourish, ending MACBETH**
Van (hopefully): So...we get to go home now?
Feye (eyes glinting, cackling evilly): NO!!!! STAY TUNED for the next installment of the Escaflowne Shakespeare Series: Escaflowne Performs HAMLET!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
**The Esca cast groans, and Folken drowns his misery in the leftover soymilk**
Feye: Remember, just because this is the last chapter, doesn't mean that Fred the Vicious Rubber Attack Chicken will let you off reviewing! Let me know what you all thought of the play! **Feye bows with a flourish, and the lights dim to blackness**
I dedicate this parody to my awesome, wonderful, perfect, ideal AP English teacher. She is what made this story possible. Please keep her in your hearts: she is going through a very hard time right now.
Disclaimer: I have decided to let Fred do the disclaimer. Fred, do I own Macbeth, any allusions to Star Wars, or Tenkuu no Escaflowne?
**Fred shakes his head vigorously, and continues gnawing on his steel chew-toy**
I do, however, own Fred. He's mine. Try to steal him, and he will savage you.
Allen Schezar...Macbeth (the tragic hero with ambition to become king)
Princess Millerna...Lady Macbeth (his at-first ruthless, ambitious wife)
Dilandau Albatou...Macduff (a Scottish noble who is very loyal to his king)
Princess Eires...Lady Macduff (his wife)
Isaac Dornkirk...King Duncan (the king of Scotland, who seems to have lost his touch to rule...)
Van Fanel...Donalbain (the king's younger son)
Folken...Malcom (the king's eldest son)
Gaddess...Banquo (Macbeth's best friend, and a soldier)
Prince Chid...Fleance (Banquo's son)
Hitomi Kanzaki & Co...the witches (The Three Fates, who have a knack for eerie predictions)
Merle...the gentlewoman (just...a gentlewoman with a short part)
Chesta...Lennox (This guy and the next four down are random Scottish nobles, also called thanes)
Gatti...Caithness
Dalet...Ross
Migel...Menteith
Gui mel...Angus
Zaibach Army...Malcom's Army
Feye: Presenting, the -final act-, the -dramatic conclusion-! This is where all the forces converge and explode in one giant fireball!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eires: *sweatdrops* I think Feye had a wee bit too much sugar today.
Folken: I believe Miss Morgan has finally snapped under the stress.
Feye: Yessssss, my pretties! I have! **Feye cackles insanely**
All: O.O
Dilandau: Sweet! This means that I can run around and BURN stuff!!!
Feye: Oooo...fire...pretty...
Allen: What are we going to do with our director like this?
Dilandau: Straight-jacket?
Van: YOU need one more that SHE does, Albatou.
Dilandau: Thank you. I try.
**Meanwhile, Feye has swiped a lighter and is staring at the flame, entranced**
Merle: Well we -do- need a director.
Millerna: Well NATURALLY the task falls to ME. I AM the STAR of this performance.
Allen: Actually-
**Millerna elbows Allen, sending him into a coughing fit**
Millerna: My first order: everyone dresses up in pink ballerina tutus (the guys can wear blue), and we -all- run around and -destroy- the set!!!! **Millerna beams**
Van: ?!?!
**Van runs over to Feye, grabs her, and starts shaking her by the shoulders**
Van: SNAP OUT OF IT FEYE!!!! SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
**Feye blinks**
Feye: What's going on?
**The saner members of the Escaflowne cast sigh in relief**
Dilandau: Aw rats.
**Feye eyes him suspiciously**
Feye: Um...aaaand NOW, the final dramatic conclusion of MACBETH! Enter the Doctor and Merle as the Gentlewoman.
**The said cast members scurry onstage. Merle describes to the Doctor how Millerna has been walking and talking in her sleep. Then, Millerna enters...walking and talking in her sleep**
Merle: Lo, you, here she comes. This is her very guise and,
Upon my life, fast asleep. Observe her; stand close.
Doctor: How came she by that light?
Merle: She has light by her continually. 'Tis her command.
**Millerna suddenly spins around, and torches what is left of the curtains from Act One**
Millerna: DEATH AND FUZZY PINK FLAMINGOES!!!!!!!!
All: O.O
Dilandau: Nani?
Feye: Millerna. Please. Return. To. Your. Character. Or. Else. Got it? **Feye twitches. Millerna sulks, and goes back to sleepwalking. She rubs her hands, as if she's washing them**
Millerna: Yet here's a spot.
Doctor: Hark, she speaks.
Merle (offstage): Yet another brilliant revelation.
Millerna: Out, damned spot, out I say! One. Two.
Why, then, 'tis time to do't. Hell is murky. Fie, my
Lord, fie, a soldier and afeared?
Yet who would have thought the old man
To have had so much battery fluid in him?
Pendant: Blood...death...DESTRUCTION!!!!!!
Tarot: No censored, Sherlock.
Millerna: The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now?
Feye: Another of my favourite lines.
Merle: I would not have such a heart in my
Breast for all the dignity of the whole world.
Doctor: This disease is beyond my practice.
Infected minds to their deaf pillows will
Discharge their secrets.
More needs she the divine than the physician.
God, God forgive us all. Look after her.
**They exit. Enter Migel, Gatti, Dalet, Guimel, and soldiers**
Migel: The English power is near, let on by Folken,
His uncle Siward, and the good Dilandau.
Van (offstage) The 'good' Dilandau?!? Talk about an oxymoron.
Gatti: Who knows if Van will be with his brother?
Van: I MIGHT IF I HAD A LONGER D--- PART!!!!!!!!!
Dalet: Pipe down. You had a long -enough- part in the series.
**Van sniffles**
Migel: What does the tyrant?
Gatti: Oh mostly he combs his hair, fluffs his shirts, and snuggles his pink bunny slippers.
Chesta: O.o
Guimel: Now does he feel
His secret murders sticking on his hands.
**They exit. All, the Doctor, and Attendants enter**
Allen (who is feeling very cocky after Hitomi & Co.'s predictions): Bring me no more reports. Let them fly all.
Till Birnam Wood remove to Dunsinane,
I cannot taint with fear.
"Fear not, Allen Schezar. No man that's born of woman
shall e're have power upon thee."
**Our focus turns backstage**
Dilandau: So..umm...Feye...buddy...pal...
Feye: You want food, right?
Dilandau: How'd you guess?
Feye: I'm telepathic. I can see your innermost thoughts.
**Dilandau turns BRIGHT red**
Feye (unphased): I already -have- food for you. I thought ahead of time.
**Feye snaps her fingers and a blue beam of light shoots down, depositing a table laden with popcorn, hot dogs, ding-dongs, fruit candies, cookies, and vanilla soymilk.
Van: What's with the soymilk?
Feye: There HAS to be something -healthy- in there.
**Van winces. Folken, meanwhile, has poured himself a glass of the crushed bean milk** (AN vanilla flavoured soymilk is actually very tasty, and I used to hate soy. Really, try some!)
Folken: This is actually quite tasty.
Van: ?
Folken: :)
**Meanwhile, a servant has informed Allen of the 10,000 soldiers approaching Dunsinane. He calls for Seyton to help him put his armor on. His 'armor' consists of neon powder-puff balls that pin onto his already poufy shirt**
Dilandau: YEAH GOOD WORK SCHEZAR! NOW YOU'D SCARE -ANYONE- AWAY!
**Allen isn't sure whether to burst into tears or beam proudly. His expression is a combination of both**
Feye: ROFL!
**Allen is annoyed that the Doctor can't heal Millerna. Or is that glee on his face?**
Allen: So...Doc...Is she gonna die?
Doctor: Um...Therein the patient
Must minister to himself.
**Allen stares at the Doctor**
Allen: Throw physic to the dogs.
**Millerna starts**
Millerna (from offstage): Honey Kinser snuggly-wuggly sweety pie lovey-dovey baby-poosers!
**Allen winces**
Millerna: You didn't -really- mean that, did you? **Millerna smiles sweetly as she balances a ten-inch long hypodermic needle in her hand**
Allen: *sweatdrops*
**The stage empties, with Allen avoiding Millerna. Folken, Siward played by Gaddess-**
Gaddess: YESSSSSSSSS! I get another part!!!!
**-Siward's son played by Prince Chid-**
Chid: Are you seeing a pattern here?
**-Migel, Gatti, Guimel, and soldiers enter the stage**
Gaddess: What wood is this before us?
Migel: The wood of Birnam.
Folken: Let every soldier hew him down a bough
And bear't before him. Thereby shall we shadow
The number of our host and make discovery
Err in report of us.
Soldier: It shall be done.
**They exit. Merle is backstage. Staring, horrified, at Folken**
Folken: What?
Merle: You're going to cut down all those trees?
Folken: Just the branches.
**Merle flexes her claws. Folken raises an eyebrow and fingers his crima arm**
Feye (desperate): Umm...Merle, Folken, it's the last act for cryin' out loud. Save it for after.
**Merle sniffs contemptedly**
Feye: Millerna, you are doing an extra added-in scene.
Millerna: OOOOOO! Do I get to KILL someone?
Feye: *sweatdrops* Um, no, not exactly...it's the scene of your own death.
Allen and Millerna: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
**Both stop suddenly and stare at each other. After a moment, Millerna walks onstage. Sniffling, she moans and mopes, hoping for sympathy**
Van: How cheesy.
Dilandau: Just DIE already!
**Millerna turns blue. She smashes her fist on the floor, breaking a nail. She looks at it with a tragic expression, and drops dead. Allen, Seyton, and soldiers enter the stage**
Allen: Hand out our banners on the outward walls,
The cry is still "they come!" Our castle's strength
Will laugh a seige to scorn.
**There is a cry of women from the sound effects crew**
Allen: What is that noise?
**Seyton exits. Allen bemoans the fact that he had forgotten how to fear or feel. Seyton comes back**
Seyton: The Queen, my lord, is dead.
Allen: ...
Feye: ...
Allen: ...
Feye: ...
Allen: ~OH HAPPYYYYY DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! THE SUN IS SHIIIIIIIIIIIINNNIIIIIINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
**Allen does a jig, his hot pink bunny slippers flying in the air like flags**
Feye: Allen.
Allen: She should have died hereafter, and sooner.
Van : HERE HERE!
Allen (dramatic pause): Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Our, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.
**There is a respectful silence at the end of this amazing, wonderful, awesome soliloquy. Feye sighs happily. Then...**
Dilandau: Amazing, O Lord of Fuzzy Poufs. You admitted you are an idiot. Congratulations.
**Allen's eyes narrow. Feye thinks she should have known it was too good to last**
Allen: I am going to kill you Albatou.
Dilandau: Too bad you're playing Macbeth. **Dilandau smirks**
Feye: Don't looke at me, Allen.
**A messenger goes onstage**
Messenger: As I did stand my watch upon the hill
I looked towars Birnam, and anon methought
The wood began to move.
Hitomi: It begins. *evil cackle*
**Allen goes nuts, bunny slippers flying in the air**
Allen: If you lie, you DIE!!!!
**Allen peers out, and apparently sees Birnam Wood moving**
Allen: ...mommy.
**They exit. Enter Folken, Gaddess, Dilandau, and the Zaibach Army, all carrying tree branches**
Folken: I've always wanted to be an Ent.
**Merle rolls her eyes**
Folken: Gaddess, and your right noble son,
Lead our first battle. Worthy Dilandau and we
Shall take upon's what else reamins to do,
According to our order.
Gaddess: Do we but find the tyrant's power tonight,
Let is be beaten if we cannot fight.
Dilandau: Make all our trumpets speak; give them all breath,
Those clamorous harbringers of blood and DEATH!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
**They exit, and Allen enters**
Allen: They have tied me to a stake-
Dilandau (cackling from offstage): Burn! BUUUUUUUUURRRRNNNNN! MOEROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Allen (unnerved): What's he that was not born of woman? Such a one
Am I to fear, or none.
**Enter young Chid**
Chid: What is thy name?
Allen: My name's Allen Schezar.
Chid: The devil himself could not pronounce a title
more hateful to mine ear.
**They fight. Suddenly, Allen gets an idea**
Allen: Chid!
Chid: What!
**Dramatic pause**
Allen: Chid...I AM YOUR FATHER! *ominous music*
Chid: *gasp* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *dies*
All: O.O
Feye: Lol.
**Hitomi snickers**
**Allen exits. Dilandau enters**
Dilandau: Tyrant, show thy face!
If thou beest slain, with no stroke of mine,
My wife and children's ghosts haunt me still.
**Dilandau exits. Folken and Gaddess enter**
Gaddess: This way, my lord.
Folken: We have met with foes that strike beside us
But ALWAYS SHALL THE SOY BEAN PREVAIL!!!
All: O.o
Gaddess: Er...enter, sir, the castle.
**They exit**
Feye: WHY did I bring soymilk? Why?
Dilandau (stuffing his face while readying his lines): I like the rest you've brought.
**Feye rolls her eyes. Allen enters the stage, pink poufs to the absolute MAX**
Allen: Why should I play the roman fool and die
On mine own sword?
Van (offstage): You play the Asturian fool well enough.
Hitomi: Yeah, oh "gallant heavenly knight".
Merle: More like gallant heavenly walking-perfume-advertisement-billboard.
Allen (miffed): It's not just ANY perfume!!! It's SPECIAL perfume!!!
Hitomi: Yeah, yeah. **She looks disgusted**
**Dilandau enters the stage, grinning like a maniac and twirling his sword**
Dilandau: Turn, hellhound, turn!
Allen: Hellhound yourself, meanie!
Of all men else I have avoided thee.
But get thee back. My soul is too much charged
With blood of thine already.
Dilandau: My voice is in my sword, thou bloodier villain.
**Dilandau attacks Allen. Poufs go flying, and Allen's hot pink earmuffs/bunny slippers are askew**
Allen: HA! I bear a charmed life, which must not yield
To one of woman born.
**Dilandau gets his infamous evil grin. You know, the one when he's about to charr something**
Dilandau: Dispair thy charm
And let the angel whom thou hast served
Tell thee Dilandau was CREATED BY MADOUSHI!!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**Al len stares, horrified**
Feye: Allen? Your lines?
**Allen opens his mouth, screams like Hitomi, Millerna, Eires, Marlene, and Yukari combined, and turns tail, bolting offstage. He runs smack into Hitomi & Co., who promptly use their psychic powers to boot, very very painfully, the lacy knight back onstage**
Feye: ALLEN! Macbeth is supposed to be BRAVE!
Allen: B-but my POUFY SHIRTS are in DANGER!!!!
**Feye is quickly restrained**
Allen [to Hitomi & Co]: You traitorous %$##@*&&!!!
**Hitomi & Co. smile proudly**
Dilandau: Then yield, coward, and live to be paraded like the feathery chicken you are!
Allen (sniffling): I will not abandon my faithful fluffs.
Lay on, Dilandau! And damned be him that first cries "Hold! Enough!"
**They exit fighting. Allen inadvertantly trips over the food table, dumping it on the floor. Dilandau, Folken, and the rest stare at their ex-feast**
All: DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
**Allen runs screaming onstage, followed by Dilandau, who stage (or maybe not?)-kills him. Dilly triumphantly drags Allen backstage**
Allen (faintly): My...shirts...dirty... **He faints**
**Folken, Gaddess, Dalet, and thanes enter the stage. Folken and Gaddess discuss Chid's death, and Dilandau enters with a stage replica of Allen's head on a pike. Everyone stares at the head**
Folken: You know, the slippers kind of ruin the effect.
**Folken goes on a long speech, remarks on Millerna's suicide, proclaims all thanes to be earls, and bows with a flourish, ending MACBETH**
Van (hopefully): So...we get to go home now?
Feye (eyes glinting, cackling evilly): NO!!!! STAY TUNED for the next installment of the Escaflowne Shakespeare Series: Escaflowne Performs HAMLET!!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
**The Esca cast groans, and Folken drowns his misery in the leftover soymilk**
Feye: Remember, just because this is the last chapter, doesn't mean that Fred the Vicious Rubber Attack Chicken will let you off reviewing! Let me know what you all thought of the play! **Feye bows with a flourish, and the lights dim to blackness**