Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ Make me Real ❯ 01 - Not Enough Prozac in the World! ( Chapter 1 )

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Make me Real

-by ReddAlice

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Author's Note: Thanks for stickin' with me as I form my plot and foundation, it takes me about 3 chapters to get going... but it's going... chapter 2 is almost done! I have a few surprises already formulating! Be excited all you Angst and Drama lovers! 'Cuz it's what I specialize in! I also wanted to say… I welcome all comments in any form, anything you guys can offer to help me I will gladly accept graciously! ||Looking for a good Beata Reader for Escaflowne, Yami No Matsuei, Gundam Wing, and upcoming Inuyasha fics|||

Songs: Bring me to Life - Evanescence

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Chapter 01:

"There isn't enough Prozac in the world for women like you"

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It would seem each time Hitomi saw Dr. Maddox, the ever-aging psychiatrist, there where twenty more wrinkles adorning his face. Each crater probably some cosmic creator's tally mark for every occasion the practitioner preached his denigrating sermons about physical and mental health.

"-It will get easier if you would only put forth effort to help yourself." He patronized. "You fall into these messes yourself, your parents are concerned, and frankly I don't know what to do with you. There isn't enough Prozac in the world for women like you."

Hitomi scowled; she hated talking to her Aunt Midori's moronic, ill-tempered English husband. "Then don't prescribe me any." She snapped.

"Whatever happened to that sweet girl I use to know? The one who would sit on my lap at New Years and tell me about your dreams, and your silly little fortunes." He sighed sifting through his desk drawer.

Was she really becoming that horrible? If she was, it was no small achievement! He treated her like American McGee's Alice in Wonderland's sardonic female protagonist. As if Gaea had all been in her mind, as if she hadn't truly touched the solid Earth of that world.

Dr. Maddox shrugged checking the time; they still have thirty minutes before their hour appointment was over. "I mean, really Hitomi, look at you! You look awful, what have you done to yourself?" He hissed in frustration, swiping up one of her pale arms from her lap. "Look!" Hitomi adverted her eyes towards the window. "It's god-awful!" He jabbed angrily, his eyes raking each crusted mark marring the soft of her arm. The old and knew scares fueled his passion. "Why are you hurting yourself? Do you want to go back to the mental facility? You've only been out for a year. From there they'll just sentence you to a life behind closed doors... padded walls... an asylum. Maybe there you could wallow in your fantasy!"

"It's not a fantasy! Gaea is real!"

"You can't truly believe that it's real, Hitomi. You have no proof!" Dr. Maddox huffed.

Hitomi shrugged dismissively, "You can't prove that it's not."

"All of my years at college, wasted on you..." The doctor mourned, "All of my years there couldn't prepare me to deal with my own family."

"I'm not even related to you." Hitomi reasoned jerking her arm from his hands and gazing towards the window.

"You are still my family! I still care!"

Hitomi tugged down the sleeve of her black hoodie and stood up, "Maybe you shouldn't."

"Why Hitomi? Just tell me why?"

"Because I don't."

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"Good morning, Tokyo! Today-" The small hello kitty alarm caterwauled. Hitomi violently walloped her clock into submission and rolled back over to look up at the window. The sun wasn't even shinning, it was clearly becoming dawn, but the smog-covered sky swallowed any beam that may promise a better day.

"Hitomi! Are you getting up?" A distant maternal voice yelled, "You don't want to be late for school like yesterday, darling!"

"Yes I do." She mumbled sitting up and filling her lungs with air. The muscles in her body sorely contracted, aching from not moving in her sleep. It was 6:15 am.

Vaguely she wondered what her old best friend was doing just now. In the past the jovial girl had rushed to wake Hitomi up for school, and together they would walk the 12 blocks to seek out their future. Nowadays, Yukari wouldn't even spare her a glance, not that Hitomi could blame her...

*

Yukari swung around and flopped onto Hitomi's bed, "I called your mom this morning, she said you could go back to school today! I already informed the office you'd be in! So wake up sleepy head. I missed you so much! It was a killer that your mom wouldn't let me see you till now. I even thought about kidnapping you, Hitomiiiii!" Yukari prodded the piles of blankets and body, "C'mon, wake up."

"Go away." Hitomi snapped vehemently, "I want to sleep."

Yukari laughed ignoring the undercurrent in her friend's voice, "Get up!" She giggled wickedly, ripping the blankets from the bed.

"Hitomi..." She whispered wide-eyed.

"Leave me alone."

The scream the tore from Yukari's throat shook the angels from their perches and broke their glass bells.

*

The night before Hitomi had fancifully dragged the dull rusted edge of a box opener across her limb and fell asleep in her own blood hoping to be taken in her dreams. She wasn't so lucky; rather she woke up to the horror of her friend's cries, and the throbbing wracking her misused remains.

*

That was the start of things falling apart outside of Fairfax, it had been so long since she had seen Yukari, nearly 6 months. She didn't have it in her anymore to be a wistful teenage girl, full of ambitions and blushes. At present, Yukari was embarrassed to know her, what sort of friend was she anyways; perhaps no better than the friend who chased her away.

Angry about her incompetence once more, Hitomi flung the blankets back. She might as well face the day with a scowl.

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Late, Hitomi dawdled to her locker, gazing at the people who swiftly passed her by. She was a raving lunatic after all, Yukari had probably told them all why she was recommended to the mental institution.

Grabbing her books and shutting the door, Hitomi caught wind of a familiar voice, one that pained her deeply.

"You didn't tell me you where coming back! You Fein! And now you call me out of class." Yukari laughed.

"Aah, I wanted to come by and say hello to my old teachers, friends...and you… as a surprise..."

"Is that so?"

"Where's Kanzaki? Is she sick today?"

"I... I don't want to talk about her." Yukari stuttered.

"Is she okay?"

"... Kind of..." There was a long pause and a few whispers.

"What's wrong with Hitomi!?"

"Shh..." Yukari whispered.

"Is everything all right?"

"No, everything's not fine, Amano. I haven't talked to her in months." Yukari's voice was week.

Amano didn't reply.

"Remember that story she told us? You know, the one about where she disappeared? It was a joke at first; I thought she was covering up for something really awful. But... but Amano... she really believes she went to that place. She's... not well... I can't bare to see her anymore."

"Why; just because she wants to believe in her fantasy? What's wrong with that? That's no reason to abandon your friend." Amano said defensively.

"You haven't seen her in over a year, Amano... you don't understand. Her parents where worried when I told them what she was saying, so they sent her to a doctor... who later sent her to some place for people who aren't mentally healthy. She was gone for such a long time. I hated myself for telling her parents... I thought when she came back she'd be different, but she was worse... so much worse, she was different." Yukari cried. "I thought we could go back to the way it was, I'd even pretend to believe her if she would go back to the way she was... but Amano... Her mom wouldn't tell me what happened to her, why she was gone so long. I thought she was gonna be there for life."

"Yukari..."

"When I went go get her one time... I tried to wake her up, but she kept blowing me off. I thought she was joking, upset about me not coming to see her... but when I pulled back the blankets there was dried blood and scratches... it was awful, Amano. She wouldn't talk to me in school, she just stared at her desk or looked at the ground." She sobbed desperately. "I don't know her, I don't know what to do, I want my Hitomi back, and I miss my best friend."

"Yukari..."

"I don't want you to see her like this... everything is different about her. She quit all after school activities, everything. No drive. Her hair has darkened, she's paler from not going out into the sun... she's just... "

Hitomi couldn't avoid walking past them, she had to go to class, so she backed up a few paces then strode around the corner as if she hadn't noticed them. Yukari was clinging to Amano, her eyes fixed on Hitomi with tears and concern. "Hitomi." She breathed.

Sparing her a glance, Hitomi paused, nodded, and pursued her designated door.

"Kanzaki!" Amano was calling after her, "Kanzaki, wait!"

Shaking her head with finality, Hitomi pushed open her classroom door. "I'm sorry for my tardiness." She said to the teacher bowing, the door falling shut in Amano's shocked face.

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TBC...

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Next Chapter: "Yukari, I hate you!"

Author's Note: ^-^ It always takes me a while to build the foundation for my story, but once it gets going I promise to come through with the angst and such as promised. ^-~ Van will be up with in the next few chapters; with review prompting I post frequently.