Chapter Thirteen: Faire tu encore amour moi?

A/N; Dark grey italic text represents Hitomi's thoughts.

The blue and pink highlighted texts are just to make a sentence stand out.

Wave after wave the rain fell in ice-cold sheets. Footsteps broke into the surface, sending droplets flying like fireworks. Shadows of the night came early, snatching away the sun. The sound of thunder punched their eardrums. Lighting popped here and there like the paparazzi cameras, illuminating the path home. Strong winds scraped their bony fingers at the flesh. Looking around, Hitomi saw the famous London Eye in the distance. Even the gigantic umbrella wasn't enough to shelter from this storm. Running and dodging mini lakes soon became tiring. At last they reached Amano's humble home. Even out of the rain water dripped from their clothes. Amano's apartment was the ultimate bachelor pad; it had wooden flooring, Ikea furniture, Venetian blinds, and a cool glass coffee table framed by dark wood in the lounge. Adorning the walls were numerous photographs of him and his friends. Some were in quirky but cool frames. Hitomi marvelled at everything as Amano closed the door behind them. She took off her shoes and timidly sat on the humungous sofa. It was surprisingly comfy. He went away to fetch a towel and wrapped it around Hitomi. He was looking at her with a strange gaze. She couldn't figure out whether it was worry, or something else. And then the realisation hit her. Hitomi shifted uncomfortably, ignorant to what she knew was happening. Instead she chose to count the number of wooden planks there were in the floor. The green-eyed girl hoped it was just her imagination. His gaze continued to burn into her. Just when she couldn't take it any longer, he broke the silence.

"When you joined the track team that day," Talking slowly only made it more awkward. "I couldn't believe how cute you were,"

"Amano…"

"Please, just let me finish, it's important. It felt right to kiss you… but then Yukari walked in on us. I thought, once she had calmed down after a few days, I could try again. I wanted to ask you out… before someone else did." He looks her straight in the eye. It doesn't waver. Hitomi stared intently at the bubbles rising in her glass of white Amé. She was amazed he still remembered what she liked to drink; anything that's not alcoholic. It's just a preference. Watching a bubble pop at the surface, Hitomi felt compelled to ask something, or forever remain in the dark.

"If you were that determined, then how come you didn't tell me?" Hitomi found this hard to believe, especially after this outcome. But then, she sort of knew that he would have.

"Yes. But to be honest, I had no time; you, Yukari, and the rest of my friends all heard about my father getting a job transfer to England. It was going to happen the very next day. In less than twenty-four hours we had to pack, arrange the flights, double check who was going to pick us up once we landed - and to say goodbye. But you left before I did." Amano said thickly.

She didn't want to face him, not while he's saying this. If only she was able to close her ears, like camels do in the dessert. Her body was aching to run. For some reason, she was rooted to the spot, paralysed by Amano's words.

"The first time you left," Hitomi noticed his hands were clenched into fists at his sides, "I was devastated. So was everyone… I thought I'd never see you again…. Yukari broke down in tears every time she was reminded of you… seeing her like that… made me feel for her… and want to comfort her, because although Yukari was sad, the only thing she ever wished for… was for her best friend to come home… and talk to her again…" He takes a swig of red Amé. "Yukari came to England to study Design at college, and because she didn't know anyone, I suggested she stayed with me. Since then, we've grown closer, and she shares my flat now… I run my own business as a web analyst, and she comes to live with me at the weekends… its convenient for her, as her college is nearby…" Amano paused, breaking off to contemplate the consequence if he told her any more. He thought he might as well, seeing as Hitomi is here, and Yukari was not. He was also contemplating the relevance of it. First he takes a swig of his red Amé.

The door lock clicked open…

"I was going to propose to Yukari today, but then I saw you…. Hitomi, you've changed everything."

"I am really happy for you both Amano. Really, I am. Yukari is my best friend, and I'm glad you are taking care of her." Hitomi faked honesty and confidence to keep the peace. It's been so long, there's no point re-opening that can of worms. Distance is by far the best, and safest, option. Falling out with Yukari once was enough, as a second round could well be catastrophic. Despite this, she carried on still staring at the floor:

"Loving someone is special, and the feeling you get, is so precious, yet fragile. You'll feel lost without it…" Tears cascaded down Hitomi's sweet face. Hitomi didn't look him in the eye for fear of arousing these exact kinds of emotions. (Van, where are you?) She thought. Closed her eyes she swallowed hard the thick lump in her throat. More silence. The weak sun attentively filtered through the blinds, gradually getting more intense. Tick… tick… tick… all that could be heard was the wall clock; it was so quiet, it was like being amongst monks in a hushed prayer. Hitomi breathed deeply to control herself, while amano watched on. To him, she suddenly became a heavenly statue, gracefully sitting there in perfect harmony. Settled in part shade, part sunlight, Hitomi's demeanour mirrored that of a goddess. Completely forgetting where she was, she began to unconsciously speak aloud her heart's desires.

Some plastic bags rustled quietly.

"Come back… I'm so sorry…" Hitomi choked desperately. "Please don't leave me… please… I love you…" Hitomi begged, still with her eyes closed. In her mind, she could see Van, her beloved angel, standing before her. She couldn't move. But he could. And was able to go to her, and yet he didn't. Nor did he speak. Just… stared into her green eyes and she into his dark eyes. They were trying to tell her something…

"Say something!" Hitomi pleaded. Van didn't reply. His beautiful wings were folded behind him like giant feather fans. There was nothing but the two them. He flickered in and out if focus, and she was scared of losing him. But Van stretched out his arms, and cupped her face with his hands. Van was here to stay. Smiling, Hitomi felt happy; in reality, Amano was the one who had cupped Hitomi's face, and was moving closer to kiss her… Amano kissed her slowly and softly, soft like swan down, dangerous like a snake. Hitomi's eyes flew open in pure shock that she actually felt it. Seeing a pair of brown eyes in front of her, and instantly assuming it was Van, she held him in an intimate and tight embrace, nuzzling his neck. She also cried in relief. Amano held her back tenderly. Time didn't exist. But sound does.

Things tumbled, and glass shattered on the floor.

Amano moved his head to where the sound was, and saw Yukari. Bags of shopping had just been dumped, fruits rolled away and eggs broken. A few jars were broken too. Yukari was shaking her head from side to side, gasping the word "No…" over and over; Amano wanted to run after her but stopped as he came to the broken glass and scattered cans. He just stood there staring at her, mesmerized. Amano wondered how much she knew - if anything. One hand clasped to her chest, Yukari edged towards the door and fumbled with the doorknob, then fled. He turned to Hitomi. She urged Amano to follow Yukari, for his sake. It wasn't until Hitomi turned him around and pushed him that he snapped out of it. Amano shoved on his trainers. Hitomi had to borrow a pair of Yukari's. They chased her down the street. People watched them whiz past. Some shouted at them for being maniacs. Anything to the sides of them became a blur as the two were gaining on Yukari. With each breath their hearts pumped faster. With each step they got that little bit closer…. Can almost reach her…. Damn few yards…. Round the hedge - nothing. They looked left; an old woman sat on a park bench, feeding the pidgins. They looked right; an open pathway. Straight ahead; another path leading over the hill. Sprinting so hard made their muscles cramp with intense pain. Realising it's the city's national park they were in, Hitomi didn't hesitate to express her worries.

"We should… phone the… police… I'm worried… about her… Amano." Hitomi panted, straining to speak and catching her breath.

"No… maybe she… wants to… be alone… y'know… to think… things through... I think… (Coughs) she saw… and heard everything." Amano wheezed, catching Hitomi's eye; she wished she hadn't. Now she knows that Amano doesn't care if Yukari did witness it or not. Hitomi was shocked to the core. She turned away, ashamed. Best friends are supposed look out for one another, not hurt each other. Hitomi knew Yukari won't forgive her for this; today, tomorrow, or in the future. Even if she does, it will take years for this rift to heal. Guilt racked to her bones.

Suddenly Hitomi see's her; but for some reason everything surrounding Yukari is blurred, like Hitomi has tunnel vision or something. Then she was gone... Where was she? Just like Yukari had appeared out of thin air, Amano also magically appeared out of nowhere. Hitomi was in a plainly decorated room, and Amano was sat on the floor, facing the window. They were in a different place. He seemed abit older, and tired, with shadows on his young face. Hitomi got the impression he hadn't seen her. Amano wore a black suit and tie, and observed he was holding a tiny pair of shoes… Must be baby shoes… Huh?! She scanned around for a baby, but there wasn't one. So why… Oh… oh no… the simple answer struck Hitomi sooner than she could cope with.

"You would have been a great mother." Amano's voice was hoarse and dry, filled with deep sadness. Another shock like that would give Hitomi a heart attack. She couldn't see anyone else except Amano, and was puzzled at whom he was talking to. Of course! There it was, placed in front of Amano, on the floor to his left, was an urn…

With Yukari's name on it.

Gasping, Hitomi began to hyperventilate. As she suddenly found herself in yet another different place, she immediately sat bolt upright and smacked straight into Amano's forehead. Looking about, it wasn't a hospital, and it wasn't Amano's pad, but the city park. Shivering, it brought on a series of sneezes too. Amano gently put his jacket around her. They were still wearing the wet clothes from earlier, and fearing she might get a cold, he decided they'd better get back to his pad. Hitomi was determined to stay unless they found Yukari, but Amano said she might be there already, or that she might be at some point. She agreed to go back, but reluctantly. It steadily grew dark as they walked to his flat, a heavy silence clinging to them both. When they got in, Hitomi sat by the warm fire. At least she's getting dry. Amano came downstairs with some of Yukari's clothes; a ¾ sleeve length top with flower prints, jeans and socks.

"No, I can't."

"She wouldn't want you to die of a cold Hitomi, no matter how angry she is now. She'll come round." Amano said soothingly, offering her the clothes. After some hesitation, she took them gratefully. She went and changed in the bathroom. Through the locked door, he told her to feel free to use the shower, and that there were towels in the cupboard. Feeling even guiltier, but tired also, she did take a shower.

An hour later, after Amano had also taken a shower after Hitomi, the two were refreshed, clean, and comfortable. The little fire crackled happily. Felix, Amano and Yukari's friendly ginger feline, demanded to be stroked. So she curled up in Hitomi's lap. Jake, the other cat, was jet black and was a fierce male. Jake had a strange respect for Amano, in that he only stayed with him. Amano said he saw a film trailer for a new movie, and asked if Hitomi would like to come and see it with him. She agreed, saying how weird it was to go again since they don't have TV on Gaea, she almost forgot what it was like. Slipping into Amano's black Porsche, and off they went. The intro was palliative. The song Frozen by Madonna was playing on the CD player. Her voice was eerie and ghostly, but very clear. Listening to it sent shivers down Hitomi's spine, as the lyrics hit the nail right on the head. The words sounded more like icicles than music;

"…Now there's no point in placing the blame / And you should know I suffer the same / If I lose you / My heart will be broken / Love is a bird she needs to fly…" Amano changed it to something a bit more cheerful, and cranked up the bass. Room 5's funky single made Hitomi want to dance. "I like to party / Everybody does / Make love and listen to the music / See what you get into / I like to party / Everybody does…"

All of a sudden, she was brought back to her senses and out of her thoughts. "When did you learn to drive?" Hitomi asked in surprise.

Chuckles. "You forget I'm nearly a whole year older than you; I just turned twenty. When my dad moved to England, I wanted to learn how to drive straightaway. But I wasn't old enough, so he let me learn how to drive a scooter instead. Then when the time came, I had driving lessons! It was so much fun. And the rest is history." Amano was grinning from ear to ear, obviously enjoying driving his Porsche.

A mere twenty minutes later, they arrived at the Odeon cinema.

"Would you like to go ice skating?"

"Er… I don't know if I can skate, to be honest." Hitomi answered, aware of what he was trying to do. She wanted more than anything to be TOTALLY, HONEST with Amano.

"It's alright, I'll teach you if you like. C'mon, let's go." He smiled, pulling Hitomi by the hand. It was disco night, so the place was quite crammed with people. Mostly kids, though they weren't the only older skaters there. Hitomi even saw an O.A.P, full of energy, dragging what must be his eight-year old grand daughter behind him. She couldn't help but laugh out loud. Amano saw it and laughed too. Feeling somewhat better, she ventured onto the ice rink. It was a large circular shape, filled to the brim. Swarms of skaters were gliding in the same direction. The only light was the multi-coloured flashing lights above, and booming music. Hitomi enjoyed being alone, just skating, not thinking or saying anything. It was very therapeutic. Hearing her favourite music lifted her spirits. A person in the centre was showing off by pirouetting on the spot like a ballerina. Amano caught up with her, and whispered;

"Whatever you do, don't let go." She gave him a quizzical look. Amano just winked.

Sliding into the centre too, they held hands, facing each other. Amano began by skating one way and Hitomi did the same. They were spinning fast and faster until they couldn't see. Hitomi screamed at the adrenaline rush. Amano shouted for her to look, and copy him; he bent his knees, so did she, and after several spins stood upright again, before letting go. The two were linked by one hand only, and kept on spinning until they slowed down to a stop. The audience was whooping and cheering, saying it was awesome. The show off seemed abit miffed. Hitomi went over to him, and offered to shake hands. He took it. The cheering got louder. Hitomi had become the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland; she was smiling for that long. When the crowd finally let them go, they went to buy cinema tickets.

While Amano went to buy the drinks, Hitomi couldn't help herself to some marshmallows, coconut mushrooms, strawberry milkshake gums, lime flavoured wires and fizzy cola bottles for Amano. Amazingly, it only came to about £2.50. They met up at the entrance, where he gave the assistant their tickets, and was told their cinema was number three. Hitomi ran and bagged the central seats at the back. Wearing a wide smile, she felt like a kid again. Amano practically had to fight with her for a share of the sweets, though she was just messing about. The lights grew dark. Before the film began, they threw bits of popcorn at people everywhere, and pretended to also be looking for the culprit, nearly distracting the entire audience from watching the film. They were in fits of laughter. Hitomi kept snorting every so often. Amano choked on his drink. Finally, they settled down enough to watch it.

"That was SUCH a fantastic film! But I can't believe she didn't see it sooner! Grr, stupid woman."

"I see you're degrading your own species." Mocked Amano. "But I agree, it was a great film."

"Oi, changing the subject! I'll get you for it! Stay still!!"

"And let you get me? Dream on!!" They laughed as Hitomi chased him out and around the cinema, and onto the car park. By now it was totally pitch black. It was that late. Realising the time, they headed back. Traffic was moderate. The orange streetlights illuminated the road, it was a cloudless night. No sign of the moon. Upon coming back, Hitomi had completely forgotten about all her problems; Van, that Shiden, and the reality of adjusting to a different way of life. Okay, so London isn't exactly the same as Tokyo, but at least she was familiar with most of it. Everything finally seemed alright. Yet when they arrived back at Amano's, they were shocked to fin a few policemen waiting for them, the blue lights flashing silently. It was clearly something serious, as the policemen all looked pretty grim. One of them stepped forward. He was holding up a photograph. It was a picture of him and Yukari.

"What's your name?"

"Amano Tajima"

"Do you know this woman?"

"Yes sir. That's Yukari, my girlfriend." Replied Amano.

"Then get in the car please; I'm taking you to the station."

"Hang on, why the station? What's happened to Yukari?" Amano was as puzzled as Hitomi.

"There's… been an accident. If you are innocent then you should come with us. You don't have anything to hide, do you?" enquired the policeman.

"No, I don't and yes, I am innocent. Look, if you just want to know where I've been tonight, this is proof," Hands over the cinema tickets, "And you can even ask Hitomi here. She is my witness."

The policeman studied the tickets, as if checking for forgery, walked to his colleague, whispered for sometime, always glancing at Amano, and back to studying the tickets. Eventually he stopped whispering.

"Who is she?" They asked.

"Just a friend." Amano replied. They whispered again, and then finished abruptly. His face was even more serious, almost… sorry.

"Alright. We won't take you to the station, and we won't charge you either-"

"Charge me for what? I haven't been home since this afternoon."

Exasperated, the officer continued. "Yukari is in hospital, and she was holding this picture when she was found by a passer-by. At the time she was unconscious. The doctors won't tell me any more. I'm sorry."

"What's… happened to Yukari?" Amano repeated.

"Like I said, we do not know."

"What do you mean you don't know? I'm going to the hospital."

"I'm coming with you!" Hitomi said slightly too loudly. The policeman offered to take them in the police car, saying it would be faster. Amano and Hitomi got in. Not a word was said throughout the journey. The streetlights now showed a different side to the city; no longer exciting and fun, but threatening and eerie. Strange and unknown. Like another world… another world. Like a shock wave it all came rushing back, crashing into her as she remembered and acknowledged them. Gaea. The twin moons. Van, young king of Fanelia. Shiden, the girl from Earth, whom everyone is so charmed with. And The Prophecy. Everything was flooding into her mind. Reminding her of what she's missing. Taunting her of what she left behind. And because of what?

Jealousy.

Plus feeling neglected by the one she supposedly loves. Hitomi just hoped Amano was okay, and that Yukari wasn't in any serious danger. If she was, it would be her fault. Hers. Hitomi Kanzaki's fault. She could never live it down. Not even if she was forgiven. There's no guarantee she will be. Hitomi's got this gut instinct it's too much to ask for. Glancing towards Amano, who was staring out the window, he seemed lost in deep thought. His brows were knitting together, and then they weren't, obviously trying to figure something out. Looking in the rear-view mirror, Hitomi only noticed the other police cars driving behind them. Although the blue lights were still flashing, it somehow didn't seem as bright as when she first saw it. Suddenly she thought about her life before Gaea. Then pondered if it could be easier if she knew how things would turn out, or if she knew that Amano liked her. And how it all became painful and confusing since Van entered the equation. Was she regretting ever knowing him? Earlier in afternoon, maybe. But now she's not so sure. Several minutes passed. She looked at the car clock - it was 12 am. God… Hitomi rubbed her tired eyes. I just wish… I wish…oh I don't know what I wish for… the cars stops.

Leading the way, they were escorted by the officers to the reception area, where they checked with a nurse. She led them to Yukari.

"I need to tell you this as a precaution; Yukari will live, but she is very, very weak. Her status is extremely critical. Whatever you do, try not to aggravate her, because she is in a delicate condition. The surgeons had to use local anaesthetic and operated in order to save her. But try not to worry; she'll be fine for now. You can take her home after she regains her strength. I'm afraid she can't leave until then," said the nurse as they stepped out of the lift. She took them to the end of the corridor. "She is here on the 5th floor, warding B2. Good luck."

Hitomi and Amano walked in awkward silence, with Amano leading the way. His hands were tucked deeply away in his pockets. The clean hospital corridors were bright and eerie. Hitomi was a few paces behind Amano. He noticed, stopped, and waited for her to catch up, thought he still didn't say anything. She wasn't sure if it was safe for her to say anything, in case she said the wrong thing.

"Amano? Amano?"

"Hm?"

"Will she be okay? I mean, she wouldn't… y'know… would she?" Hitomi managed to choke.

"No, of course she wouldn't. You know she's stronger than that."

They stepped into the ward B2. And saw her. "Is she?"

She questions herself. Lying there, on the hospital bed, Yukari was unconscious. Her lips were pale, almost blue. She was as white as a ghost. Seeing her like this is so frightening, yet its real. A thin breathing tube was inserted in her nostrils, and various other thin tubes were connected to her arms, fluids dripping into Yukari's veins. One drip bag for blood, another was clear. Like a BANG, she noticed her wrists - they were cut. Very deeply, and they were heavily bandaged. Amano was just as shocked as she was. Walking to Yukari's bed, Hitomi collapsed next to her, not knowing what to do, what to say. Amano touched Hitomi's shoulders, guiding her to sit down in the chairs at the side of the bed. Hitomi rested her tired head on Amano's shoulder.

Would things have been different, had I'd not become jealous over such a petty thing, if I'd have just accepted Shiden like everyone else, or if this had never happened at all, like, any of it? Why has everyone taken to her so quickly anyway?? The Mystic Moon; the cursed place, evil and full of dark sorcery that all Gaean's seem to fear. Was I that fearful? Like Chinese whispers, the story differs from person to person. Just like feelings, I suppose. Look at him; Amano seems to be concerned, but what worries me, is that he isn't freaking out like I am. I close my eyes, unable to keep them open. From my point of view, he doesn't seem to care as much for her as he claimed to do. I should leave, but how do I get back? The pendant… I touch my neck, hoping to grasp the pink stone, but its not there. Then I remember, thought reluctantly. It's with Van. Thinking of him jogs my memory about what people say about the Draconians - go near them, and you'll die. I died once. Only Millerna was able to resuscitate me. Did the passing of Van's father prove the infamous myth? And, does Escaflowne's legacy destroy everyone connected to it? I can feel Amano trying to stay still so he won't wake me, but his voice sounds tense. I'm so tired; then again, I have been up for… seventeen hours. Gosh. I yawn. Since this whole shit began, nothing really made sense anymore. Shiden and Allen seem to have some kind of secret history, and yet they've never met before. Upon seeing Shiden, bloody Van totally forgets and often blanks me. I'm so angry my eyes water, so I've got to keep my eyes shut. The doctor's tone finally sounds more relaxed.

"Don't worry."

"How?!" Hitomi nearly nodded off when she jumped awake again. It was only Amano and the doctor talking. Hitomi settled back to sleep.

"Amano? I have some great news for you."

"She can come home now?"

"I'm afraid not-"

"But what can be more important?" Amano said, confused.

I thought I can sleep at last, but then the news jolted me back to the land of the living. Having done what I did, and to hear this, now I can never rest. How could it come to this?

Hitomi snapped awake immediately. The doctor's face lit up while Amano's dropped.

"Congratulations Amano. You're going to be a father!"

From the corner of her closed eye, a tear leaked down Yukari's face.