Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ No Need To Promise ❯ Forbidden Pleasures ( Chapter 4 )

"Say, even if they're in love,

Could the end someday come for them, too?

Say, could a feeling that's even

Clearer than the blue sky

End up being abandoned?"

"NO NEED TO PROMISE"

VISION OF ESCAFLOWNE

I could see his annoyance flashing darkly in his eyes, but as I snuggled up against him and lazily unbuttoned the top of his vest, his anger disappeared and he grinned.

"You want me bad, don't you, kitten?" he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear.

"I want to make you feel good," I nodded, undoing yet another button. "It's only polite to return the favor."

"Ah…you always were the perfect, polite little lady, weren't you?" Gaddes' voice purred deep within his chest. "I guess I won't stand in the way of etiquette - if only to prove that I'm not a totally uncultured barbarian."

I giggled softly; so much like Gaddes, always cracking jokes, no matter what the situation might be. I leaned in against him and kissed his chin, his day-old growth of whiskers rough against my mouth. Suddenly, he pulled away and it was my turn to become annoyed; I watched him, reaching out for him, making a frustrated "tisking" sound with my tongue.

"Hey," he whispered, pausing to brush his knuckles against my cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, see?"

As if to make his point, Gaddes flopped down on the bed beside me, stretching out luxuriously like some kind of nimble, sensuous cat. Grinning up at me, he lay back against the pillows, folded his hands behind his head, and waited patiently for me make my move.

I sat still for a few moments, simply savoring the sight of him, stretched out so comfortably on my bed, as if he belonged there.

But he does! I realized with an inward laugh, which I knew was reflected in my eyes. He's always belonged here.

I crawled up next to him, sat back on my heels, and simply watched him. His dark, gorgeous eyes drifted shut, almost lazily; he was so relaxed, in no particular rush, willing to let me savor the moment.

I leaned over him and with shaking fingers I began to slowly unbutton the rest of his mismatched, well-worn vest. My body was taunt and yet strangely weak at the same time - I couldn't believe that this was happening. I had longed - for so long - for my Gaddes to come back, for a night like the one stretched out before us in all its velvet enticements, yet it was hard for me to believe that one of my wishes had actually come true.

What a funny vest, I murmured inwardly as I unbuckled his belt.

I touched the strange piece of iron that covered the right side of his chest, protecting his heart against the murderous thrust of a sword or the shaft of an arrow. Wrinkling my nose, I realized that the odd, breastplate-like adornment was buckled over his shoulder and across his chest - it would have to be undone in order for his vest to be removed.

"So many buttons and buckles," I grumbled, eyeing the offending breastplate with distaste.

"Now you know how I felt about those damned laces," Gaddes opened one lazy eye and smirked up at me.

I sighed, not caring if he saw my frustration. I longed to just tear his clothes off of him, but there was some kind of perverse delight to be had in the inhibitions that were so difficult to undo in the concealing darkness. I quickly unbuckled the breastplate, only to find that it was stitched to the leather backing of his vest. I pouted momentarily, thinking of how pointless it was to have a buckle when the stupid thing couldn't be removed in the first place!

I wanted so much feel his smooth skin, to see his wiry, well-built frame, to run my hands all over his body. But I controlled myself - of all things, I was a lady, and a lady didn't rush into things. With a wry little smile, I pushed the opened vest aside and began to work on his threadbare shirt, one agonizing button at a time.

His breath quickened; with each button I undid, I pushed that much of his shirt aside, and let my cool hands wander over his exposed skin.

"Eires…!" he groaned, his eyes opening, dark with desire. "Damn it, woman!"

My only response was a giggle; I loved how he responded to just a simple touch. I knew he wanted more; I knew he wanted to feel my hands roving across his bare chest as much as I wanted to do it. But I was determined to take my time - I knew from experience that he would do the same, were our present roles reversed.

Placing my right knee between his slightly opened legs, I pressed my hands against his partially exposed chest, leaning in against him until I could feel him, hard against my thigh. With a sharp intake of breath, Gaddes arched his back, his muscles tight beneath my hands. His mouth opened, slack from surprise, and I took the opportunity so perfectly presented to me.

Lightly, playfully, I brushed my lips slowly against his.

"Ahh…" he groaned, opening his mouth wider, trying to move his lips and capture mine.

However, I had set out to tease him and tease him I would. With all the fragile gentleness of a whisper, I pressed my mouth against his, only to withdraw quickly seconds later. Pulling back, I peered down at him, smiling, before removing one of my hands from his chest and touching a tentative finger to his mouth. I ran my thumb over his bottom lip, even going so far as to run it briefly on the moist, warm inside, against his teeth.

Suddenly, he lifted his head, grabbed my wrist, and closed his mouth over my intruding thumb. Watching me with a roguish twinkle in his eyes, he began to tenderly suck and nibble my thumb, running his tongue slowly over my finger's skin. With a shudder of delight, I curled my free fingers around his jaw, enjoying the friction caused by his black scruff.

After what seemed like an eternity, he let go of my hand and I was able to free my thumb from the confines of his mouth. A little shocked by his reaction, I decided to move my teasing elsewhere - namely, to his chest.

Leaning back, my leg still between his, I began to tug his shirttails out of his pants. Once that was accomplished, I undid the last two buttons, and would have pulled back Gaddes' shirt with a flourish, if he hadn't chosen that moment to sit up and nuzzle my neck.

"Gaddes…!" I protested, not entirely sure of his intentions.

For a few minutes, we sat there, his face buried in my neck, leaving a trail of burning, nipping kisses down toward my naked shoulder. As I breathed in the smell of his hair and absently enjoy the feel of his unshaved face rubbing against the soft skin of my neck, I noticed that he was doing some kind of odd maneuverings with his shoulders and arms. It wasn't until he finally pulled away that I realized what he had been doing - he had removed his shirt and vest, and had tossed them sloppily to the side of the bed, where they slid onto the floor.

With a sigh of contentment, he lay back down, and gazed expectantly up at me, as before. But I merely sat, entranced by the sight before me.

How he had changed since the last time that we had made love! My Gaddes had indeed left a boy and come back to me a man. His chest was firm, sleek with muscle; his stomach was flat, slim, and tight; his shoulders were broad and strong; his arms were thick with corded, bulging muscles. Gone was the skinny, narrow-chested boy that I had known, whose body had only held whispers of what he would grow to be.

With almost shaking fingers, I reached out and brushed my left hand across the slight spattering of dark hair covering his chest. That was new to me, too; before he had left, there hadn't been a single hair on his upper torso. I couldn't say I minded the change.

I could feel something akin to a deep purr rumble through his chest. I chuckled softly before bending down and planting a gentle kiss on his right nipple. Imitating what he had done to me, I let my mouth linger there, running my tongue over and around his nipple as it hardened. He groaned and muttered something inarticulate, his speech slurred with passion. His hands gently - almost absently - caressed my back and sides, encouraging me to continue with his coaxing touch.

Once again, I sat back, peering down at Gaddes' panting, slightly sweating body. His hands slid down my sides to rest lightly on my hips; he glared up at me, as if rebuking me for stopping my ministrations.

I suddenly remembered a promise that I had made to him a little while ago and a coy smile spread across my features. I ran my hands up and down his torso, pausing to rub the taunt muscles of his stomach and enjoyed the feel of his chest rising and falling sharply beneath my fingers as he breathed. Slowly, seductively, my hands traveled up to his shoulders; I gripped them gently, spreading my hands wide across the broad expanse between his neck and arms, tenderly kneading the muscles beneath my thumbs.

"That feel good?" I whispered into his ears.

I shifted my weight from my hands to my knees, firmly pressing my body flat against his. The feel of our naked skin rubbing against each other caused delicious, skin-tingling sensations. In an almost lazy manner, Gaddes reached up with his right arm and flung it across my back, his fingers spread across my own shoulder blades, pressing my breasts more firmly against his chest. I smiled as I kissed the front of his throat - I knew he loved the feel of my body as much as I enjoyed his.

"That feels damn good," he sighed happily as I continued to softly massage his shoulders.

"Put your arm back down," I commanded gently; it was hard to rub well in that position. "Just relax - you'll still be able to feel me."

"Uhn…" Gaddes mumbled and obediently dropped his arm back onto the bed.

"Just relax," I hummed into his ear. "Just relax…"

I could feel his body, just moments before so tense and hard beneath me, slowly beginning to unwind as his tight, bunched muscles loosened at my touch. His breathing deepened and slowed, his chest rising and falling more regularly. His eyes drifted shut and a strange little smile of contentment curled up the corners of his tempting mouth. Keeping one hand on his shoulder, I reached up and began to run my fingers through his thick bangs, gently brushing my fingernails against his scalp.

"Damn…" his voice trailed off sleepily; I grinned wickedly.

I knew that it was simply a matter of minutes before he fell asleep. Using both hands, I rubbed his temples and played lovingly with his hair - it was all going just as perfectly as I had planned.

I waited patiently until he began to snore; even then, I waited a bit longer until they changed from soft and whistling, to deep and sonorous. To use a colloquialism that I had heard among the servants on occasion, he "was out."

Slowly, carefully, so as not to wake him, I pressed my hands in the mattress beside his shoulders and lifted myself off of him. I froze for several seconds - he mumbled something in his sleep, his left hand flailing about weakly for a moment or two, but he merely turned his head to one side and kept on snoring.

Keeping an eye cautiously on his sleeping face, I pressed my face against the curve where his neck met his shoulders. Moistening that area with my tongue, I sucked experimentally on a fold of loose skin along the side of his neck. Satisfied that I had the right spot, I suddenly bit down - just hard enough to leave a bruise.

And wake him up.

"Holy shit!" Gaddes roared, bolting upright in the bed, knocking me back onto my heels, my leg hopelessly entwined with his. "What the hell was that for?" he bellowed, rubbing the side of his neck and glaring darkly at me.

But I knew he wasn't really mad at me. With an air of mock innocence, I pressed my left forefinger against my bottom lip and gazed at him, wide eyed.

"I was just returning the favor," I cooed, unable to keep a smile from my face. "I promised that I'd get you back," I inadvertently touched the tender, mouth-sized mark on my breast; I saw his eyes follow the motion of my hand.

He grinned darkly.

"And, of course, you always keep your word, isn't that right?" he grabbed me suddenly by my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.

"Of course," I breathed.

"Uh-huh," he growled.

Before I could react, before I could even think, he grabbed my chin and forcefully pressed his mouth against mine. I gasped softly in surprise, startled by the almost primal hunger of his "assault." So sudden and hard was his kiss that his teeth cut slightly into my tender, slightly swollen lip; he gently licked the blood away from my cracked skin and then abruptly shoved his tongue against mine.

The sudden, unexpected combination of tender gentleness and passionate desire made my legs weak. I sagged against Gaddes' body, my body trembling for no rational explanation.

Then I felt his hand, slowly stroking me between my legs. It was almost too much to bear; I grabbed hold of his solid biceps, breaking away from his kiss and throwing my head back in ecstasy. The feel of his fingers, rubbing me, toying with me, constantly touching and teasing, but never stroking that one spot I wanted. I knew he was doing it on purpose - driving me crazy, causing me to whimper and moan.

My body tensed and tightened; my eyes squeezed shut, my mouth slackened in a silent scream. Gaddes buried his face in my shoulder, laughing softly.

I didn't have any time to be annoyed at his amusement; one, then two of his fingers slid gently inside me. I could no longer restrain myself; I cried out in the sheer pleasure of it all - loudly.

And then, for some puzzling reason, Gaddes stopped and placed his warm hand, slick with my own wetness, onto my thigh.

"Stop torturing me," I pleaded, my voice weak, my words slurred. "Please, Gaddes…"

I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to stop his unspeakable pleasure and just love me. I longed for him. I wanted him, now, and no one else.

But he kept kissing my neck, running his left hand across my naked back and massaging the soft, sensitive skin of my inner thigh with his right thumb. Frustrated, aroused, and desperate, I moaned, my hand falling to cover his. I hesitated, trying to decide in my passion-fogged daze whether I wanted to push him back onto the bed, or to nudge his hand back between us.

He made my decision for me. Once again, he began to touch me; I groaned one last, final time, as his forefinger slipped into my womanhood, stroking in gentle, teasing circles.

A startled gasp reached my ears; at first, I thought I had done it, but then I realized that it couldn't have been me. Frowning, I snapped back to reality, ignoring Gaddes' pleasuring hands and mouth, trying to concentrate on the horrible feeling that suddenly overwhelmed me.

I felt that someone was watching us. My suspicions were almost immediately confirmed.

"Eires?" an unmistakable, quivering, unbelieving voice broke the soft silence.

Gaddes, startled almost as much as I, stopped immediately and snapped to rigid attention. At the same time, as if it were an instinct, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me protectively against him.

"Who's there?" he demanded, his eyes searching in the darkness.

There was another gasp and a soft foot stepped into the room.

"Sergeant Gaddes?"

"Princess Millerna?" Gaddes' voice was just as stunned.

"Millerna," I repeated, almost unbelievingly.

I pushed gently away from Gaddes' embrace and quickly pulled my nightgown, which had been resting around my waist and thighs, back up over my shoulders and breasts. I turned toward the door, where I could see my sister's shadowy form framed in the moonlight. Her eyes were wide with astonishment, her jaw slack in disbelief at what she had just witnessed.

"Do you want me to stay?" Gaddes placed his hands on my shoulders and whispered softly into my hair.

I shook my head mutely; I knew he understood. It was now between Millerna and me - what would come would come, but I didn't want Gaddes to be caught in the middle of the uncomfortable confrontation.

I turned back toward Millerna, having caught the sound of fumbling matches. Suddenly, a little light flared into the room; Millerna stood, her shaking hand holding high a single candle. Her wide eyes looked in astonishment from me, in my wrinkled nightgown and roughed-up hair, to Gaddes, who sat behind me on the bed, his naked torso gleaming in the candlelight.

"Excuse me, Gaddes," I murmured, swinging my feet over the side of the bed and rising to my feet.

He grabbed my hand firmly as I moved toward Millerna. I turned, preparing a gentle rebuke, but it was cut off as he pulled me to him and kissed me softly on the mouth.

"I love you," he whispered loudly enough so that Millerna could hear.

"I love you, too, dear heart," my heart pounded at the words - how many years I had waited to speak those beloved sentiments to him again!

I touched his cheek gently, running my fingers lightly over his dark scruff one more time, before he finally let me go and I approached Millerna.

"In here, sister," I grasped her arm and gently maneuvered her into the chamber outside my bedroom.

She gave Gaddes one more hard, searching, incredulous look, before turning and following me. She offered no resistance, for which I was glad; I shut the door quietly behind us, allowing Gaddes some form of privacy as he dressed and slipped away. I knew that when I returned to my bed that night, I'd be alone once again. But strangely, I wasn't angry; at least I had been able to lie with him, if only for a time.

* * *

"So it's been Gaddes all along, hasn't it?" Millerna sat down in the chair opposite me, but there wasn't any anger or condemnation in her voice.

Rather, she seemed curious, if not a bit thoughtful; I suddenly realized, as I sat there, squirming a bit guiltily, that I had nothing to fear from Millerna. She was my sister - and for the first time, I that I had been missing out on a friend and a confidant.

I can trust her, my heart rejoiced, gazing discerningly at her. I have nothing to fear - perhaps it's time she knows about this family's secrets, after all.

"Yes," I finally answered her question as I finished tying up the laces of my nightgown. "It's always been him."

"I would have never guessed," Millerna's voice was tinged with a tone of wonder.

She laughed, almost nervously.

"Not in a thousand years - Gaddes? But he's so…so…so unlike you…" her voice trailed off uncertainly; she looked at me, a bit shame-faced.

"We're not really that different," I murmured softly. "You were too little to remember, but I haven't always been the way that I am now. Gaddes could tell you that - I used to be very much like you, as a matter of fact."

Millerna gaped at me; I knew that she was having a hard time accepting everything that this night was revealing to her.

"We've loved each other since we were little children," I continued wistfully, thinking of better times. "And we've been lovers ever since we were teenagers. I was only fourteen that night - he was sixteen. But we loved each other; that was all that mattered to us then. We never imagined what our love would do to us."

I stared disconsolately at my hands, trying to keep the tears at bay. I had never spoken about this to anyone - I had always kept my thoughts, emotions, and experiences bottled up inside of me. I didn't quite know why I was telling Millerna such things now - I just knew that I would rather have her know the truth than anyone else.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of soft hands grasp my shoulders as Millerna pulled me against her side. She sat precariously on the armrest of my chair, wrapping me in her comforting, sisterly embrace.

"Why did you come in here?" I queried.

"I couldn't sleep, so I went down the library to try and find a good, dry book that would bore me to sleep after a few pages," Millerna explained. "When I passed your door coming back, I heard a man's voice and then…you…um…well, I heard noises. I couldn't imagine what a man would be doing in your room and I thought maybe you were in trouble or something, so I let myself in. I hope you don't mind."

"Not any more," I assured her.

"I must say, it gave me quite a start to see you with a man," Millerna chuckled dryly, a bit embarrassed. "Especially Sergeant Gaddes - I never dreamed that you'd ever let a man…well…love you…"

Her voice trailed off and I could tell she was a bit uncomfortable by her ramblings. But I didn't mind and I encouraged her to continue.

"It seems to be our family's curse to love men that we can't have," Millerna finally murmured, patting my shoulder awkwardly. "First you, then Marlene, and now me."

"Allen and Gaddes," I sighed, chuckling a bit despite the pain I felt in my heart. "What poetic irony."

"Is it because of Gaddes that you lost your right to the throne?"

"Yes," I dabbed at the corners of my eyes with the edge of my nightgown's sleeve. "Though only you and I know who my lover is."

"What happened?" Millerna handed me a handkerchief from the pocket of her pale pink robe.

"I became pregnant. When I found out, I panicked, and told my maid - then a young woman named Aisia - that I was expecting. I thought I could confide in her, that we could both figure a way out of my predicament. I was hoping she'd help me escape from the palace and elope with my `lover', but she told Father, instead.

"When Father found out that I was pregnant, he was furious. He…he…he said that he wasn't going to have a bastard child within these palace walls and had an old midwife come and `check' me. She gave me some nasty herbal drink and I was all but forced to take it. I was told it would cure my morning sickness - a day and a half later, I miscarried the baby."

I finally broke down and sobbed in earnest, leaning my face against Millerna's shoulder. The older sister, seeking comfort from the younger - but she was all I had and I knew that she cared. Even though my confidences had been betrayed before, I knew that Millerna could be trusted.

"How could Father do that?" Millerna shook her head darkly, tightening her grip on me.

"It was a little girl, too. A beautiful, perfect little girl," I whispered, recalling with vivid pain the child that had been snatched from my weeping arms, before I had even had a chance to comprehend what had happened.

"I'm sorry, Eires," Millerna sighed, hugging me close. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Until tonight, I've never known who to trust," I shrugged helplessly. "And I never thought you would care."

"Of course I would!" Millerna cried indignantly, turning to look at me. "I've always cared about my sisters. But…Marlene was never here and you…I never got a chance to really know you."

"Perhaps we can both try again, little sister," I patted her hand. "Perhaps I should start being my old self - would you help me?"

"Of course, Eires," Millerna swore, hugging me tight. "You can start by trusting me."

"I already do," I murmured. "I already do…"