Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ No Need To Promise ❯ Winter's Last Dance ( Chapter 8 )

"I call out to you now with my tears.

I don't need promises or such things,

Because of the precious

Strength that you've given me."

"NO NEED TO PROMISE"

VISION OF ESCAFLOWNE

Summer ended and fall arrived in a blaze of colors, only to slip away into winter with two weeks of depressing, drizzled rain. I kept more to myself than ever before, but it wasn't for the reasons that had previously distanced me from others.

Now, I kept to myself because I was afraid that people would begin to notice the change I myself was sensing. Gone was my depression, my loathing of life. Each day was one to look forward to - if only for the letters that Gaddes sent to me via Millerna.

One letter came every week, but I never knew the exact day. It would change from week to week, causing me a sort of bittersweet anguish. Each day I would wake up and think to myself, a letter could come today! So I would expectantly await Millerna's daily visits, in which I would all but pounce on her for news from my lover. And if no letter were forth coming, then I would go to sleep, with another day and another letter to look forward to.

I think Gaddes did it on purpose - changing the "letter days" each week. He knew that his scrawled epistles of love, news, and general gossip of the outside world, made my entire week worth living. He was giving me a reason to live - truly live - once again.

He told me about the frustrations he encountered, trying to restore Allen's grand mansion and keeping the five "lunatics" of the Crusade under tight control. Slowly, bit-by-bit, over the span of about four months, Gaddes' vision for the old house was becoming a reality. Needless to say, he was quite proud of himself and his "boys", praising their efforts in almost every letter.

Then there was Allen. Gaddes had told his commander about Delores, sending Allen into a proper tizzy of horrified indignation. Of course, the truth about Gaddes' family life came out and the young knight was pleasantly surprised to learn that the Connemaras had been a part of palace life for almost four generations. I didn't know, however, if the truth about Gaddes' run to the sea came out or not - I had a sneaking suspicion that if it had, Gaddes had glossed over it as the foolish mistake of a rash boy. Explaining the whole matter in all honesty would only lead to more questions, which I knew Gaddes loathed answering, even to a close friend.

Finally, Gaddes told me about Serena, Allen's sister. The girl intrigued me - of course, I had heard of Dilandau and his fierce-some band of boy-warriors. I idly wondered if all those unfortunate children had been just like Serena - girls whose fates and destinies had been cruelly altered. I couldn't help but sympathize with Serena's plight, however. Allen was trying to force her into "high society" and as Gaddes had described her as a highly impendent, self-assured young woman, I knew the social hob-snobbery must be torture for her. I wished I could help and meet her in person, but I couldn't think of anything that would do any good. So I satisfied myself by offering daily prayers on her behalf, beseeching the gods to give the spirited girl the patience and grace to keep from making a complete fool of herself.

As for me, I sent my replies back, full of questions and words of love. Nothing new ever happened around the palace that I knew of, so I didn't have much small talk to fill up the pages. Mostly, I told Gaddes about the blooming relationship between Millerna and me; we were finally becoming sisters. I had a hard time expressing in words just how much that meant to me - beside his letters, my younger sister was the second most important reason that life was once more beginning to hold meaning for me. I don't think words could do justice to the wonderful confidence and sisterly love that was slowly bonding the two of us together as never before.

And I also kept up with Konik and Mare's general well being. I knew Gaddes wanted to know how his family was doing, so I usually included a smuggled note from Konik within each letter. Just as the bond between Millerna and me was growing and strengthening, so I think was the bond between the two brothers as well.

What none of us could ever imagine was that those bonds would be rigorously tested all too soon. Would they stand the trails the gods had fated for us?

* * *

Just when I thought that things would stay the same way indefinitely, Millerna rushed into my room one morning, fairly bursting with news that would prove to be the fateful turning point in all our lives.

"Eires!"

Inexpressibly startled, I nearly fell off of my vanity's cushioned stool. Mare was frightened so terribly that she jerked my hairbrush out of my long tresses (pulling a good amount of hairs along with it), and whirled around with a little shriek.

"Millerna?" I sputtered once I had found my voice, staring incredulously at my sister's flushed reflection in the mirror.

"There's going to be a ball!" she all but jumped up and down in her excitement, clutching a rather crumpled-looking piece of parchment against her chest.

"That's…nice," I couldn't help but frown; I hadn't attended a ball in nine years.

Since I had no intention of going to another one anytime soon, I couldn't quite muster up the same level of excitement.

"No, no! You don't understand," Millerna gasped, shaking her head wildly, a mischievous look dancing in her eyes. "It's at Allen's place!"

I finally turned around and fixed my sister with a look that I was certain conveyed my present opinion of her sanity. Why would I care about a ball being held at Allen's estates? Mare shifted uneasily in my peripheral view and I turned my head slightly to glance up at her.

That's when it struck me.

Allen = Gaddes!

My jaw dropped and I stared at Millerna in utter amazement.

"It's perfect!" she giggled, recognizing the look of stunned comprehension that crossed my face. "He's hosting it for the Winter Solstice Festival - it's a masquerade, too!"

A masquerade ball at Allen's - indeed, how perfect could it get? Already my mind was racing with ideas…mainly about what I would wear, though crazy little schemes to get Gaddes alone popped up momentarily.

"This is so great!" Millerna squealed rapturously, gazing at me in wide-eyed excitement. "You will go, won't you?"

"Um…uh…" I suddenly glanced toward Mare, who was watching the interaction between my sister and I with something akin to befuddled awe. "Mare," I reached out and gently touched her sleeve. "Could you go and fetch my dress out of the launders? I think it should be pressed by now."

"Yes, ma'am," Mare curtsied, not once showing any annoyance at being dismissed so suddenly.

That's one of the things I loved about her. She took my commands whenever, wherever, and however I presented them, and carried them to completion without a murmur.

I waited until the door shut softly behind her and her echoing footsteps were lost down the marble corridor outside. Only then did I turn to Millerna and allowed my true feelings to be shown.

"You do know what this all means, don't you?" Millerna bounced over and sat on the vacant footstool across from me. "Gaddes'll be there," the look in her eyes reminded me of the mischievous, cherubic Archer who hunted down couples with his love-tipped arrows.

"Of course I know what it means!" I sputtered indignantly.

It means trouble, a nagging, nasty little voice whispered in the back of my mind.

However, I ignored it, banishing it to the nether-regions of the world, not caring to be reminded of what had happened in the past. I chose, instead, to reach out to a promising new day - though I knew, at one level deep down inside, that I would have to endure the fires of hell to obtain my blissful dreams.

"Will…will Gaddes be there?" I wondered.

I knew I sounded stupid, asking a question like that. Wherever Allen went, Gaddes was sure to go! But, as I recalled, Gaddes liked social functions about as much he liked having a tooth pulled - furthermore, I could never remember a time when he had attended a ball. And if I were to go to Allen's, I'd have to make an appearance at the masquerade; I determined right then and there that I would stay put unless I had some assurance that Gaddes would be out on that dance floor, waiting for me.

"He gave me his word of honor that he'd dress up `like a damned fool,' if you showed up," Millerna nevertheless understood the true implication behind my question.

"So you talked to him?" I leaned forward eagerly; Millerna nodded.

"I was over at the estates earlier today - remember? I told you yesterday I'd go."

"Oh…that's right," I laughed ruefully, sitting back once more. "I guess I forgot."

"I guess you did," Millerna beamed and then handed me the parchment she had been grasping all along. "Here's the official invitation - from Allen, of course. He said that you would more than welcome, if you chose to attend."

"Always the gracious gentleman," I smiled, glancing briefly over the invitation.

"Say…Eires, may I ask you a question?" Millerna's voice suddenly became contemplative in nature and I glanced up in surprise.

"Of course - go ahead," I prompted gently, wondering what was on her mind.

"You know, I can't help but hear the gossip that goes around here from time to time, and I overheard two maids talking about something this morning before I left for the Schezar Estates," Millerna paused, fidgeting with the laces of her blouse.

"Yes?" my eyebrows rose with considerable curiosity.

"When you were younger, did you…like Allen?" she glanced at me in a sideways manner.

The abashed look on her face, coupled with her question, nearly drove me to laughter. I had to bite the inside of my lip to keep from giggling like a discourteous child.

"I was very good friends with Allen, yes," I nodded slowly, trying valiantly not to smile. "I was the one who introduced him to Marlene - in a way, you could say I was responsible for their…relationship. In fact," I paused, gazing thoughtfully at my folded hands. "Before I realized how much I loved Gaddes, I had a minor crush on Allen myself."

"Oh…how come Gaddes and Allen never met? I mean, if you were friends with Allen and Gaddes was the son of the Stable Master…" Millerna frowned slightly.

"Just because Allen and I were friends, didn't mean we got to see much of each other. He was always either away, busy with his duties as a knight, or serving as Marlene's guard," I chuckled softly. "Gaddes and Allen may have very well met, but I doubt they ever spoke to each other. And by the time Gaddes showed up at Fort Castelo, he had changed a lot."

I couldn't hide a smile at the thought; I, of all people, knew best how much Gaddes had physically changed. He had changed greatly in other ways, too. For one thing, he wasn't quite the outspoken firebrand he had been as a boy. The hard years had taken their heavy toll, making him more diplomatic in his approach to various situations. As for the rough edges he had had as a child - if anything, time had made those edges rougher. He was still a loveable, teasing rogue on the inside, but age had made him more responsible, more reliable, and quieter.

"Why did you ask if I had `liked' Allen?" I steered the conversation back to its original course. "If it weren't for his banishment to Fort Castelo and my social exile, we'd still be on very good, talking terms with each other, I suspect."

"I didn't mean to be nosy," Millerna ducked her head shyly. "But the maids were talking about the two of you as if you were…um…not quite lovers, but…"

"Very close," my eyes twinkled merrily. "That I loved him."

"Well…yes," Millerna nodded uncertainly.

"That's an old rumor and a very popular one at that, especially since Allen showed up so suddenly two years ago," I grinned. "I, for one, think Father encourages it because it gives him an excuse for my `exile' and my supposed refusal to marry. Allen seems like a very likely candidate for my `odd' behavior these past nine years, since no one could ever begin to dream the real reason."

"So…it would seem as if you were pining for a lost love all this time?" Millerna cocked her head to one side.

"Exactly - and I have, actually. Just not the one rumor likes to blame," I sighed, somewhere between a wistful frown and a smile.

"I think I understand now," Millerna mused quietly. "I wasn't quite sure what to make of it when I heard that - it didn't make any sense to me that you would like Allen. At least, not in the way the maids were insinuating."

"If you listen more closely to a lot of the things said around this palace, you'd find that Allen's the scapegoat for many family affairs," I shook my head in resigned amazement.

"So you wouldn't feel uncomfortable about going to the ball?" Millerna stood up and moved toward the window at my left.

"No, not at all," I murmured. "In fact, I rather look forward to it, now that I know Gaddes will be there. At least I'll have someone to dance with," I glanced up at my sister with a tiny smile.

"You two just behave yourselves," Millerna rebuked me playfully. "As long as you're being watched, anyway."

"Oh, you can be assured that we'll behave with the utmost decorum," I assured her solemnly. "At least until the festivities are over - I am glad, though, that it's a masquerade."

"It'll afford you some small amount of anonymity," she concluded my statement for me.

"Exactly," I nodded. "What with the costume masks and all."

"So you will go?" Millerna pressed.

"Yes, I'll go," I nodded with a laugh. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well…it's just unusual, I suppose," Millerna shrugged ruefully. "I mean, you haven't gone to a ball or any other social function in years - I don't think I can even remember the last time."

"You were little then," I picked at the frayed ends of my robe's sleeve. "I wouldn't expect you to remember; it was Father's birthday celebration, as I recall."

"People are going to notice something's different about you."

"Why? Have I changed?" I knew the answer even though I asked.

"Yes," Millerna replied, gazing out the window, though I knew her mind wasn't on the palace scenery. "You're happier. And going to the ball will only prove that you've changed. Even though you try to hide it by staying quarantined in these rooms, you don't seem so sad anymore when I come to visit. Whether you do it consciously or not, you exude contentment."

"I suppose that's just a risk I'll have to take," I frowned. "And the gossipmongers can spread all the rumors they want, I don't much care. They'll probably blame the change on Allen."

Millerna smiled thinly at that - knowing the truth, she no doubt found the rumors concerning Allen and me to be ridiculously amusing. But I could detect a sliver of concern darkening her fair features. A sliver of concern that I myself shared…but I wasn't going to let reason stop me.

I had made up my mind - I was going to Allen's Winter Solstice masquerade ball. That Gaddes would be there, was all that mattered to me.

Love is blind, after all. Even to disastrous downfalls.

* * *

"I feel so utterly and completely moronic," I griped, tugging at the tight, confining contours of my new dress.

"You'll be fine, Eires," Millerna giggled, smacking my hands away as I began to fiddle irritably with the layers of fabric gathered at my waist. "Just enjoy yourself."

"How the hell can I enjoy myself when I can barely move?" I complained in a dark grumble. "I feel like an idiot in this…this…hideous contraption!"

"It's not hideous," Millerna fussed. "You'll be the envy of every woman on the dance floor."

"That wasn't my intention," I folded my arms stubbornly and then dropped them to my side with a frustrated sigh when I saw that that only accentuated the dress' dangerously low cut.

"Having second thoughts?"

I glared at my sister's reflection, her eyebrows raised in mischievous curiosity.

"No, of course not! I'm…I'm just not used to this nonsense any more."

"You are the one who picked out this dress," Millerna replied breezily. "So you have no one to blame but yourself."

That effectively stifled my cantankerous complaining. Millerna was right - I had no one else to blame, as I had been the one to design the damned thing. And, truth be told, deep down inside, I was quite proud of the dress; I was so nervous, though, about my decision to go to the ball, that it was souring my outlook on things in general. Including the fantastic, shimmering fold of cloth draped about my person; every woman at the ball would be jealous when I made my "grand entrance."

I critically surveyed myself in my bedroom mirror, standing up to take in the full effect.

The dress was made out of soft, sea green silk that shimmered whenever the candlelight glinted off of it. Sewed all through the pale fabric were threads of sparkling silver, creating an illusion of dancing light. The dress was gathered tightly at the waist with a sash of the same silvery-green, knotted at my side, and the pearl studded tassels were allowed to flutter freely. A full skirt flowed to the floor, hiding the dainty little dancing slippers that Millerna had insisted on buying for me one day during her trips into the city.

There was only one part of the dress that truly made me uncomfortable - the bodice. It was constrictingly tight and a bit too low cut for my conservative tastes. The box-shaped design would certainly give every man on the ballroom floor a generous sighting of my pale throat and the gentle swelling of my breasts. I would have blushed at the thought, but knowing that Gaddes would be one of those men made it all worth it - I was neither shy nor modest when it came to my lover.

A pair of sleeves completed the outfit; I took a small amount of pride in the bodice's cunning design. My shoulders were left bare and the sleeves began just below the joint, gathering firmly at my wrists. However, I might as well have not worn any sleeves at all, because they were slit all the way down the middle, showing every inch of skin along the length of my arms.

Altogether, the dress was certain to generate a handsome share of stares, whispers, admiration, and envy. A thick strand of rich, perfectly picked pearls wrapped around my neck and a matching pair of well-crafted earrings dangled from my ears, gently brushing against the side of my cheeks whenever I turned my head. My thick, blond hair was piled tastefully on top of my head, woven through with strands of emeralds, pearls, and diamonds. Grudgingly, I admitted - if only to myself - that I was both proud and fond of the dress; it was certainly the most stunning array I had ever worn, even when I had been in Father's better graces.

"Do I really look like a mermaid, though?" I demanded in mildly concealed amusement.

"Eires," Millerna chuckled. "The Tailor did the best she could, short of handing you a pair of fins!"

I laughed comfortably at the thought; what Millerna said was true - the Tailor had done her best. There was only so far one could go with a dress, after all.

"Where are my gloves?" I wondered, turning away from the mirror and glancing about in mild panic.

"Right here," my sister smiled, handing them to me after picking them up off of the nearby dresser.

"Thank you," I sighed in relief, trying to hide my nervousness.

I should have known that I couldn't hide much from Millerna's surprising perceptiveness.

"Just relax, Eires," she walked over to me and grasped my shoulders.

"Everything will be all right if you just let it."

"I know," I took a deep, steadying breath as I pulled on my gloves.

They were made of lace the same color of green as my dress and were cut off at the knuckles. I hated wearing "proper" gloves that completely covered one's fingers and arm clear up to the elbow. It was hard to grab hold of things and they were abominably hot; I didn't want anything to distract me from what I hoped would be an enjoyable evening.

"It's…it's just that…" I turned toward Millerna, trying to express my feelings. "That I haven't done this for so long. And we're sort of doing this behind Father's back - you're practically sneaking me out of the palace, for the love of the gods!"

"I don't care," Millerna tossed her head. "It'll do you some good to get out of this place, if only for a few hours. Everyone needs a night to remember - this will be yours."

How true those words would be!

* * *

"Here's your mask," Millerna handed me the silk contraption just as our carriage rolled through the magnificent iron gates of the Schezar Estates. "Probably wouldn't be wise for you to forget it."

"No, I imagine not," I grimaced at the unpleasant thought as I took the mask from her hands. "Where's yours?"

"Right here," she replied, pulling the simple, dove-gray mask from the folds of her dress.

"Now, what are you supposed to be?" I teased, eyeing her outfit closely for the first time.

It was simple affair of pearl-gray silk and lace. It wasn't as low-cut as mine and she had full, puffed sleeves that laced down her arm from her elbow to her wrist. The front of her skirt merely draped over another layer of silk - this one a shining, spotless white lace sewed onto white silk - which composed the entire front of her dress. The grey "overdress", as it was called, was secured at her waist with a little belt of soft, gray leather studded with diamonds.

Her hair was done up in an elegant twist, resplendent with strands of tiny, flower-shaped diamonds that twinkled enticingly in the moonlight pouring in through the carriage windows. A chocker of white silk circled her throat and the oval-shaped diamond on the very front flashed with a mesmerizing, inner fire.

The dress was exceptionally beautiful, but I couldn't possibly begin to guess just what Millerna was. It looked like nothing more than a very ornate, well-designed courtier's dress from olden times. I could have been wrong, but I didn't think she was dressing like a mythical creature.

"Allen's going to appear as nothing more than the knight that he is," Millerna chuckled. "So I shall be his lady-fair."

She cocked her head so prettily to one side that I silently cursed Allen for being such a blind man - would his eyes of love ever open to finally see my young sister for whom she really was? A woman who was so very much in love in with him and who had gone to the ends of Gaea just to be with him.

"I wonder what Gaddes'll be," I mused, watching the dark, landscaped gardens slip past us as the carriage rumbled up the pebbled driveway.

"Oh…who can tell?" Millerna laughed. "As long as he shows up, I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"No, I suppose not," I sighed. "Though I hope he certainly puts forth some sort of effort, however small."

"Gaddes has an uncanny ability of rising to the occasion," Millerna patted my gloved hand comfortingly. "I've seen him do it many times, especially when things looked like they couldn't possibly get any worse. I'll wager he'll surprise even you tonight."

"Help me with this thing, will you?" I turned toward her, holding out my mask.

"Sure," was her bright reply.

I sat perfectly still as Millerna carefully placed the mask over my face. It was made out of green lace and silver threads, designed to compliment my dress and give me an air of mystery. Even though it left only my eyes, nose, and mouth bare, it didn't clash with my outfit, as so many full-faced masks had a tendency to do. The soft lace was supposed to curve about the contours of my face and accentuate my features, while at the same time obscuring them from recognition. I had spent hours trying to find the "perfect" mask, before stumbling across one that wouldn't make me look like a court jester.

"There you go," Millerna finally pulled away and I touched the mask with curious fingers.

"Do I look all right?" I fussed, even though I knew we had been over this when choosing the damned thing.

"Absolutely stunning, Eires," I could see her smiling in the moonlight. "Now, help me with mine!"

Millerna's was a simple mask that fit around her eyes and only covered the upper half of her face. I had it secured in place in a matter of seconds - and not a moment too soon. Just as I finished tying it, the carriage shuddered to a stop in front of the mansion steps.

"Oh, my," I gasped, twisting my neck to get a better look out of the window. "What a beautiful house."

It was like a picture out of a fabulous storybook. Every window in the three-story, fifty-room house was ablaze with lights. The effect was a shimmering, flickering, twinkling myriad that seemed like a dancing ring of faeries peeking through the finely shined glass. I couldn't help but gawk at the sight before us - the house, which Gaddes had described to me at the outset as a hopeless mess, had been transformed into a showcase of magical light and beauty.

The outside of the house was beyond description, too. Bathed in both the pale moonlight and the candles' "faery" light, the marble façade glowed softly like a gem. The crisp whiteness of the snow that had fallen earlier that day seemed a sharp contrast to the dark mahogany of the mansion's door and quaint shutters.

"It's a quite a sight during the day, too," Millerna smiled knowingly. "You should see it some time."

"I'd love to," I breathed in awe. "But the question is, could I?"

My rhetorical question was never answered; at that moment, the carriage door was opened and I found myself gazing down at the balding crown of a scrawny, ridiculously short footman.

"Ma'am," he intoned solemnly, offering me his hand.

I had to fight off a fit of giggles when he forced what he thought to be a pleasant smile on his face. It came off more as an unnamed expression somewhere between a scowl and a grimace.

Personally, I didn't know him, but I recognized him from Gaddes' written descriptions of the "Crew." Only one of the "boys" fit the bristling little form at my side as he perfunctorily helped me out of the carriage. Still, without the characteristic red headscarf, I wasn't absolutely certain that he was of whom I was thinking.

Millerna, however, confirmed my suspicions when a large mulatto - I knew him to be Teo, once again, from Gaddes' descriptions - helped her out of the left side of the carriage. She joined me at the foot of the mansion steps, took one look at the man at my side, and unsuccessfully stifled a laugh behind a daintily gloved hand.

"Reeden," she finally squeaked, laughter shaking through her voice.

"Princess," he bowed - a bit rustily, I thought.

When he straightened up, however, there was no denying the embarrassed indignation burning in his dark eyes. Millerna bit her lip, grasped my arm, and hastily made her way past him, just as the next carriage rolled up.

"What was all that about?" I sputtered quietly as we swept through the open doors and into the bright, enveloping light of the main hall.

"That was Reeden - I've never seen him without his headscarf," Millerna giggled despite her attempts to stop. "Now I know why he wears it…he's balding!"

"How old is he?" I frowned.

"That's what's so funny," Millerna grinned in a rather un-lady-like manner. "He's barely twenty two years old!"

"Why, that must be humiliating for the poor dear," I clucked my tongue sympathetically. "You really shouldn't make fun of him, Millerna - I'm sure his comrades have done their fair share of it already tonight."

"I know," Millerna sighed, immediately becoming contrite. "I'll apologize to him later, if I can."

"Princess Millerna!" a commanding voice caused us to stop dead in our tracks.

Slowly turning around, we caught sight of Allen, bustling toward us. Just as Millerna had guessed, he was dressed in the full trappings of his Knight Caeli uniform - nevertheless, he cut a dashing figure, its simplicity standing out amid a quickly filling room of almost garish costumes. I could well see why he caused my sister's heart to flutter.

"Greetings," he bowed gallantly, taking her hand in his and kissing it.

I could see the pleasure shining in Millerna's eyes and the maiden-like blush creeping up her throat.

Why? I screamed inwardly in frustration. Why can't he see what he does to her!

"Allen," Millerna hissed, though there was a smile on her face. "The idea of a masquerade is that you don't know who I am."

"M'lady, I would know you anywhere and in any dress you so choose," Allen straightened, a mischievous light dancing in his blue eyes.

Well…! I was mildly surprised. Is he finally beginning to come to his senses, I wonder?

"May I ask who your companion is?" he turned toward me with a winning smile.

"Who do you think, Allen?" I murmured quietly so only he and Millerna could here. "Just an old friend."

"Princess Eires?" Allen's eyes grew large, though he was considerate enough to keep his surprise to a whispering level.

"The one and only," I laughed softly. "But that's our little secret."

"Of course, m'lady," he bowed one last time before being accosted by an unbelievably large man, whose form threatened to pop out of his tightly tailored, blue and gold servant's uniform.

"Hey, Boss - the ballroom's ready," he stated in a deep, pleasant, rumbling sort of voice.

"Thank you, Kio," Allen sighed in relief and glanced apologetically at us. "The cook was having difficulty setting up the wine and what-not."

"Perfectly understandable," Millerna brushed it off with a congenial smile. "It would seem people are only just getting here, anyway."

"Thanks be," Allen sighed deeply, glancing over his shoulder as the guests trickled slowly in. "Oh, by the way," he turned back around suddenly, as if just remembering something important. "The rooms you requested, Princess Millerna, for your overnight stay - they're ready."

"Thank you, Allen," Millerna fairly beamed.

"It's my honor, Princess," he nodded toward both of us. "I'll have Kio show them to you now, if you'd like."

I was about to say that we could wait, but Millerna beat me to a response.

"Yes, please," she curtsied.

"Kio," Allen turned toward his ex-crewmember.

"Right on it, Boss," Kio immediately stepped forward, toward the grand staircase behind us. "If you'll follow me, Princess, ma'am."

"What did you do that for?" I demanded as we followed Kio up the stairs.

Glancing back over my shoulder, I saw Allen scurry off to greet various guests that he recognized, welcoming them to his newly remodeled home.

"Silly," Millerna teased. "You really have been out of things for a long time!"

"Millerna, what are you talking about?" I fumed.

"Half the fun of these functions is the fashionably late, grand entrance," she explained in the manner of a patient schoolmarm. "This is the perfect way to accomplish that - and youMy jaw dropped and I stared at Millerna ng that I had never been late for anything in my entire life and that I wasn't about to start tonight. But Millerna merely laughed and I had no choice but to go along with her seemingly air-headed ideas.

After all, I owed her for inviting me to come along with her. The least I could do was humor her strange ideas - it wasn't like I knew how to play the "game" any longer, anyway.

So I agreed, however reluctantly, to make the evening's "grand entrance."

* * *

The whole room fell silent as I swept gracefully down the little flight of stairs leading onto the dance floor. Couples who had just started dancing stopped dead in their tracks and watched me with something akin to speech-defying awe. The moment I stepped foot on the floor, though, the spell seemed to be broken, and awed whispers began to fill the room as I moved smoothly toward Millerna and Allen.

I curtsied to them both, mildly amused at the look on the knight's face. Even his simple, blue and gold mask couldn't hide the blank astonishment in his eyes.

Talk about the grand entrance, I thought with amusement. Even the host is rendered speechless.

Despite the flustered enjoyment I got from being the center of the room's attention, I felt a little awkward as I straightened from my curtsey and surveyed the stilled audience behind me.

Now what? I wondered, feeling slightly foolish.

"Won't you introduce us to your fair guest, sir?" a beloved voice that I instantly recognized, sent shivers of delight down my spine.

I turned and had to fight a smile of recognition from betraying my aloof, mysterious aura. There was Gaddes, standing stoutly behind me, dressed as a roguishly dashing, swash-buckling pirate captain. Even though his handsome face was masked, I could never mistake his familiar, broad-shouldered form, or the comforting presence that always seemed to wrap around him.

"I wish I could," Allen finally found his voice, speaking loudly enough so that everyone gathered could hear him. "But I'm afraid m'lady has chosen to remain unknown this evening."

"No matter," Gaddes' mouth twisted up in a rakish smile and he bowed before me. "May I claim this first dance?" he glanced up at me, his dark eyes twinkling mischievously as he gently kissed my hand.

"You may," I breathed, unable to stifle the thrill of pleasure that overwhelmed me when he brushed his warm lips against the thin lace of my gloves.

How I longed to feel those same lips pressed against my own! But I knew that now was not the time for that - good things came to those who waited. So with a coy little smile, I allowed Gaddes to pull me into a dancer's embrace and out across the ballroom floor.

* * *

It was like something out of a fairytale. Gaddes swept me clean off of my feet, up and down, around and across the floor - I had never realized what an extraordinary dancer he was.

Of course, I've never been in a position to find that out, I thought with a smile.

For several minutes, the people gathered around the room simply stood and watched. Slowly, on couple at a time, they joined us, until the whole room seemed to be a whirling kaleidoscope of whispering silk, flashing jewels, softly clicking heels, spicy perfumes, and shimmering light. The combination of the sights, lights, scents, and the feel of Gaddes' arm pressed firmly around my waist was quiet intoxicating. By the time the first dance was over, I was feeling rather flushed and lightheaded, even though I hadn't drunk any of the sparkling wine Allen had provided for his guests.

For the sake of appearances, Gaddes had to relinquish me to another suitor after our first dance had come to a close. I danced with several men that night, including Allen, and even Dryden, who I recognized despite his exotic merchant's garb. For several hours that went on - I was passed from man to man. It seemed to me that every man wanted to dance with me, the "belle" of the ball. Millerna had spoken truth yet again; I received numerous, envious glances from my feminine peers and the men just didn't seem able to pull their eyes away.

Finally, however, I had to beg pardon and sit down. I wasn't used to dancing, though I had been very accomplished in my more social days. With thinly disguised longing, I watched as Gaddes danced with a mere wisp of a girl, whose cheeks were flushed with excitement. She seemed nearly incapacitated, however, when Gaddes whispered something into her ear and she dissolved into a fit of girlish giggles. I watched them with a lonely smile and I absently wondered who she was. Something about her long, silvery blonde hair and the fine structure of her pale face reminded me of Allen - I thought, perhaps, that she might be his sister.

I didn't expect her to look so…feminine, I suppose. She's really very pretty, I decided.

A skirt obstructed my view of the couple for a second's breath; annoyed, I turned my head and watched the source of the interruption flounce across the edge of the room, making a beeline for Allen. With a startled jolt, I recognized her as none other than Delores Orleans.

Oh, no! I groaned inwardly. What is she doing here? Surely Allen didn't invite her - not after he and Gaddes talked!

And worst of all, Millerna was standing beside her knight. I had been previously pleased to note that they had been together almost all evening; Millerna had rarely strayed from his side, or he from hers. Delores, however, was certain to ruin the tenuous affection that seemed to be expressed between the couple tonight.

Go away! Go away! I chanted mentally, trying to will Delores away from her goal.

I was pleasantly surprised when Allen glanced in Delores' general direction and then suddenly grabbed Millerna's hand in genteel urgency, guiding her back onto the dancing floor. They were quickly lost in the sea of swirling skirts and coattails, leaving Delores to visibly fume.

She walked up to a spot almost next to me, craning her neck to see where Allen had gone off. I caught a snatched glimpse or two of him and Millerna, but as soon as I had spotted them, I lost sight of them when another couple passed in front of them. No doubt, it was the same for Delores.

"Leave him alone," a husky voice warned her darkly, causing both her and me to jump in surprise.

And there was Gaddes, Allen's faith right hand man as always, defending his commander's honor. His mask was still in place, but only a fool wouldn't recognize the anger blazing in his eyes and the stubborn set of his jaw.

"Why…if it isn't Gaddes Connemara," Delores all but purred, sidling up to my lover with little, mincing steps.

When she placed her hand on his sleeve, I felt like leaping out of my chair in a roar of jealous indignation and slapping her as hard as I could across her rouge-tinted cheeks. Gaddes, however, did just as well, coldly pulling his arm out of her grasping clutch.

"And leave me alone, too. I'm not a sixteen year old boy anymore," he said frostily.

"I can see that," Delores stated, still trying to be coy and seductive.

Go away! I howled, my ire rising as I watched her pale gray eyes travel lingeringly up the length of Gaddes' body. He's mine and mine alone!

"Go catch yourself another prize, Delores," Gaddes stiffened angrily. "I was never stupid enough to be yours to start with and I'm certainly not that naïve now."

"Nobody said anything about you being naïve," Delores pouted, which only added to her sultry beauty.

"I'm not yours to have," Gaddes took a threatening step toward her. "Now leave - you're not invited to this ball, anyway."

"You know, a girl can only take rejection so many times," Delores' face darkened. "And twice is one times too many."

"Your warnings are false, empty, and they fall on deaf ears. Now, I'm telling you one more time, leave - or I'll have Kio escort you out," Gaddes motioned with his eyes toward Kio, who was standing dutifully at the ballroom's open door.

Delores looked like she was about to say something, but instead, she turned sharply on her heel and stalked away, her skirts fairly bristling in fury.

"I don't think you should have done that, Gaddes," I murmured softly so only he could hear. "Delores Orleans may be a whore, but she has ears in high places."

"Let the little bee buzz," Gaddes waved his hand in airy dismissal. "I couldn't give a damn."

For some odd reason, I couldn't rid myself of the feeling that Delores Orleans would yet prove to be the downfall of us all. Her words that she had shouted at Gaddes years before came back, ringing ominously in my ears -

"You'll regret this, Gaddes Connemara…I'm not through with you!"

"Hey, you all right, baby?" Gaddes' soft voice whispered in my ear.

"Huh…? Oh, yes…yes, I'm fine," I nodded slowly, forcing a smile even though I felt unusually uneasy.

"Would you care for one more dance?" he bowed and offered me his hand.

"How could I refuse?" I smiled a true smile this time, placing my hand into his gentle fingers.

The moment was ruined, however, when I stood up and glanced over Gaddes' shoulder. Delores was watching us, a particularly vindictive, cunningly contemplative look on her beautiful face. I shuddered involuntarily.

"I'm not through with you!"

"Love?" Gaddes murmured, squeezing his fingers into my palm.

Trying to regain my composure, I gazed up into his face. His dark eyes, filled with concern, immediately put me at ease.

All will be well, Eires, I told myself. Just enjoy yourself - this your night to remember.

"I'm fine, Gaddes," I assured him softly, squeezing his hand in return. "Let's dance."

* * *

"What time is it?" I wondered, clinging to Gaddes' arm as we strolled through the frozen gardens.

Despite the snow and the ice, the gardens retained a certain, wild grace. Gaddes had told me that they were the "last frontier", so to speak, of the estates - once spring came around, he would put the Crew to work, taming the wandering vines and the disarrayed blossoms.

"Past midnight, I believe," Gaddes glanced up at the full moon above us.

"That ball doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon," I commented, watching my breath puff in the frigid air before me.

"No…it'll probably last a few more hours," Gaddes confirmed.

"I certainly won't," I laughed softly, causing more "smoke" to waft in front of my nose.

The world was slowly dying in winter's icy grip and I wrapped Gaddes' black and gold captain's coat more securely around my bare shoulders. But the cold, dark, quiet night air was a welcome change to the heat, bright lights, and chattering ballroom.

Gaddes and I had danced our last dance, slipping demurely out of the room and escaping to the wintry solitude of the gardens. We didn't stray far, though - just enough to have some privacy and yet close enough that we could still see the warm lights pouring through the wide, glass windows of the garden terrace's doors.

"You're probably as used to these sort of things as I am," my lover laughed softly, his voice warming me inside, even though I was slightly shivering from the cold.

"I haven't been to a ball in years - had no interest, even if I had been allowed to attend," I joined him in his laughter.

"Does your father know you're here?" he turned towards me in curiosity, glancing down at the top of my head.

"No…Millerna smuggled me out of the palace, for all intent and purposes," I shook my head.

"You and Millerna are becoming pretty close, aren't ya'?"

"Yes. She's…the perfect friend; I trust her with my life."

"Same way with me and Konik. He's a good man, my brother."

"I always remember him as this pesky little toddler who insisted on following us everywhere," I chuckled at the memory, though I knew the young Stable Master no longer waddled uncertainly about in diapers.

"My dear, you've taken my coat and I'm afraid I'm cold," Gaddes announced with a smile, grabbing me by my shoulders.

"I suppose we should go in," I smiled ruefully up at him; I didn't want him to go away.

I think, perhaps, that he read that in my eyes, because he bent his head down next to my ear and whispered,

"Perhaps I could walk m'lady to her chambers?"

"That would be nice," I nodded with a knowing smile - Gaddes would certainly do more than walk me to my room.

"M'sir can even join me inside, if he likes," I whispered back.

"I was hoping you'd say that," he chuckled and kissed me gently beneath my ear, causing me to shiver, but not from the cold.

My whole body suddenly seemed to warm up, a hot fire building up inside, yearning to be quenched. I would not sleep alone.

* * *

I lay in the steaming water, allowing my body to adjust to the warmth surrounding me. While waiting for Gaddes to come back, I had decided to chase the chill out of my bones and soak for a few minutes in a hot bath.

Just as we had walked back into the mansion, Gaddes had been virtually attacked by the girl I had seen him dancing with earlier. She was, as I had suspected, Allen's sister, and she was fairly bursting with excitement.

"Gaddes!" she had cried breathlessly. "I finally got Allen to agree to getting me a horse for my birthday!"

"What'd ya' do?" he gazed down at her fondly, as if she were a sister. "Blackmail `im?"

"No," Serena shook her silver head.

Her hair fascinated me; it was easily her best feature. Long and sleek, it shone in the chandelier's light like spun metal.

"Princess Millerna and I ganged up on him," she giggled mischievously. "When the Princess told him that I could go over to the palace and pick out a horse of my own from the stables there, he finally capitulated."

"You'll have to look up Konik while you're there," Gaddes grinned. "He's the man to ask, when lookin' for a horse."

"However," Serena's face fell slightly. "Allen'll only let me get a mare."

The way she had said "mare" sent Gaddes into a spasms of laughter.

"Let me go talk to him," he winked at me - his way of letting me know that he would be up as soon as possible. "Maybe we can convince him to letting you have a gelding."

"A gelding?" Serena cried as she dashed off after Gaddes' retreating form. "That's just as bad as a mare! I don't want some old, lifeless, sway-backed nag that's only one hoof away from dog food!"

I soaked in the steaming water, a faint smile hovering over the corners of my lips. Even though I hadn't directly spoken to her, I liked Serena. There was something about her - a charismatic personality that intrigued me.

I'd like to know her better, I mused. As Allen's trying to make her into a lady, surely he wouldn't object if she were to come over to the palace.

So wrapped up was I in my thoughts, that I nearly shrieked in frightened surprise when a hand slipped into the water and cupped my right breast. My eyes flew open in shock, but I immediately relaxed when I recognized Gaddes' unmasked face, illuminated by the firelight.

"Announce yourself next time," I gasped, though my anger was rapidly receding as he kneaded my skin.

"I thought I did," he grinned, before burying his face in my neck.

"Vocally, I mean," I scolded breathlessly.

"What's with the water?" he mumbled between lazy kisses up the length of my neck.

"I was…trying to…warm up," my words came in short gasps; my body was burning beneath his hands and his mouth.

"Water gets cold after a while," he lifted his face and gazed playfully down at me. "Now, me on the other hand," he traced a finger down between my breasts, stopping teasingly short of my navel. "I don't ever get cold when it comes to you."

"Then warm me," I whispered, wrapping my arms invitingly around his neck.

"It would be my pleasure," he replied, his voice thick and husky with desire.

In one swift, fluid motion, he picked me up out of the large tub and carried me, dripping wet, toward the enormous four-poster bed that dominated the middle of the room.

"I'll get the bed wet, Gaddes!" I protested before all reason had a chance to leave me.

"Hmm…good point," he muttered and paused halfway across the room.

"Let me down," I instructed gently; he did as he was told, though I could tell by his eyes that he didn't want to let go of me. "And I'll dry off while you undress."

I kissed the tip of his nose playfully, before nimbly sidestepping the grip of his arms. I felt a little foolish, walking naked back toward the tub and the fire, knowing that Gaddes' eyes were watching me, hunger burning deep within them. Slowly, deliberately, I bent down, picked the towel the maid had left for me on the floor beside the tub, and turned around to face my lover.

The room suddenly felt chill against my wet skin; I shivered, instantly longing for the erotic warmth of Gaddes' arms and body. In short order, I dried the majority of my body, watching beneath lowered lashes and Gaddes unceremoniously divested himself of his coat, fancy vest, lace-throated shirt, and stiff sea-boots. He watched me with a knowing smile as I moved toward the bed, drawing the warmed sheets up to my chin as I sought some sort of solace from the cold room around me.

We really shouldn't do this, I thought as he unbuttoned his pants and followed me to the bed. But do I really care about right and wrong anymore?

I knew the answer as soon as he settled himself beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close against his chest, and nuzzling my lips with searching inquisitiveness.

This is right, I decided, threading my fingers through his hair, pulling his face closer, begging him silently for the kiss he had been denying me all night long.

"Gaddes…" I breathed passionately. "Kiss me!"

"All in good time, love," he moved his head down, kissing me quickly between my breasts, throwing the blankets I had wrapped around myself to the side.

"It's cold!" I protested loudly, grasping for the silken edge of a sheet.

"Are you cold now?" he purred; my jaw sagged in surprise when I felt his hand slide down to my womanhood, his fingers exploring me intimately as he had done before.

"N…n…no," I squeaked, arching my body into his embrace as he held me against his firm body with his left arm.

There were no more words spoken between us. I had longed for his touch night after night - and tonight, Millerna wouldn't disturb us. Hopefully, no one would and we would be free to love without fear of discovery.

With great tenderness, I grabbed hold of Gaddes' arm with my left hand, trying to steady my trembling body. With my other hand, I gently caressed his bare chest, pressing my palm against his pounding heart. I whimpered softly, resting my head against his shoulder, as he continued his gentle ministrations.

And then…he stopped. I lifted my head, a protest poised on the edge of my lips. But I was immediately silenced when he pressed his mouth hungrily against mine. I opened my mouth willingly, allowing him to savor the taste of my tongue as I did the same.

"Eires," he groaned, breaking away from our kiss. "You can't imagine how much I want you."

"Then take me," I ran my fingers lightly down the side of his chest. "Now."

After a half-hearted protest, Gaddes gave in to what we both wanted so passionately. At one level, I wanted to feel the same pleasure he had given to me that night in my room, but I knew our need for each other was too great, too urgent at this point. So I gave myself willingly, unselfishly to him, knowing in my heart that there would be many more nights like this, when our desires were more patient and we could take our own sweet time.

Our kisses became more rushed, more passionate, as I helped Gaddes out of his pants. As he kicked them off the side of the bed, I teasingly traced a finger down his hardening length.

"Oh, gods! Eires!" he cried out sharply, grabbing my inquisitive fingers with his own.

Wide eyed with astonishment, he turned toward me, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Not now, kitten," he whispered, drawing my hand away from him and pressing it flat against his chest. "At another time, we'll explore each other more fully."

"Another time," I nodded, not questioning if there would be "another time."

My heart, inflamed in the heat of the moment, took the future for granted. There was only now and here, in a bed that seemed to whirl around in a turbulent sea of passion and unchecked desire.

With infinite gentleness, Gaddes nudged my legs open with his knees, settling himself between them.

"Ready?" he whispered as he always did; he never entered me unless I expressly allowed it.

This was the part of him I knew that no one else saw. The true gentleman deep within him - the man who took nothing for himself, but always asked beforehand like a polite, almost shy, schoolboy. I nodded slowly, closing my eyes in silent rapture as he slowly slid into me.

For several seconds, neither of us moved; I thought I would scream simply with the feel of him, hard and hot, deep within me. Then, with a long, deep, lingering kiss, we began the rhythm of love.

For nine long years, I had longed for this night. I opened myself fully to him, closing my eyes and arching my body against him; the way he slowly moved inside of me drove me almost to the point of insanity. He felt so good, so right, taking his time, even in this, ensuring that I was pleasured first. My mouth opened in cries that were muffled by his lips, silenced by his tongue that delved in and out of my mouth, imitating the intimate, erotic motions we made as one.

I couldn't think, I couldn't speak - I could only move in sync with him and feel the wonderful, indescribable sensations of our love. My body shook uncontrollably; I grasped his shoulders, letting my hands wander across his back, inadvertently digging my nails into his sweating skin. At one level, I knew I was causing him unnecessary pain, but each time I caught myself gripping his muscled shoulder blades a bit too tight, he only gasped in surprise and deepened his kisses with a startling urgency.

"G…G…Gaddes…!" I moaned; in the heat of passion, I didn't know how loud I cried out and I was beyond caring.

I wanted him to stop the sweet torture to both himself and to me. His slow, measured thrusts only prolonged the inevitable - I wanted to come so badly and I knew he needed release as well. I ran my fingers imperatively through his hair, trying to communicate to him what I wanted. As only lovers so emotionally connected as we, could do, Gaddes understood my silent plea; he moved more forcefully into me, increasing the tempo and intensity of our rhythm.

I cried out in inexpressible pleasure - I must have been too loud, because Gaddes covered my mouth with his palm, muffling my shouts of ecstasy. In an attempt to stifle his own grunts and moans of desire, he buried his face into my neck.

I could feel the pressure building deep within me, like a spring being coiled until its tight steel could no longer be wound any further. Then, with a sudden, unpredictable explosion, the spring unraveled and I came, my body shuddering with the powerful, blinding intensity of my orgasm. I bit my lip, trying to keep my scream buried inside of my throat, the pain refusing to register as I reached my climax. It was only until after I had tumbled breathlessly back to earth, that I tasted the blood on my tongue and felt the sharp ache of my cut lip.

My mind didn't dwell on either for long, as Gaddes came himself, crying out sharply, a sound as pure and unrestrained as if he were vocalizing what was in his soul. I held him tenderly as he cried out a second time and absently enjoyed the sudden warmth as a part of him filled me. With a deep quiver, he finally collapsed against me, surrendering himself unashamedly to my caressing embrace.

After a few minutes of simply lying in each other's arms, Gaddes kissed me softly on my bruised lip, gently removing himself from me. With a profound, satisfied sighed, I turned over onto my side and snuggled against his damp chest. No words needed to be said; Gaddes pulled one of the sheets back over our naked, exhausted, sweating bodies, and held me tightly against his body.

My emotions spent, my body warmed, and my desires sated, I laid my head on his shoulder and was quickly lulled to sleep by his soft, deep-throated snoring.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, Gaddes had left to resume his normal duties as Allen's Head Steward. He had left a note behind, however, confirming his love for me.

As if it needed to be confirmed. I didn't need him to swear his love for me, or promise that he would always be with me. I had no need for promises - I knew he would always be my man, and I, his woman. We were one, united by our love, our devotion, and our passion.

Promises were only for the insecure.

* * *

Three months passed and at first, I didn't notice that anything amiss. I was still on the preverbal "cloud nine," drifting to sleep many nights with fond memories of our passionate coupling. At one level, I began to think those nine years had been worth all the tears, the depression, the anger, and the pain.

But then, I was forced to face reality and the old struggle returned - something between panic, awe, hope, and fear. That morning, when I finally realized what had happened, I refused to get out of bed and ordered Mare to fetch my sister.

"Eires, what's wrong?" Millerna demanded the instant she stepped foot inside my room. "Are you ill?"

"Millerna," I replied faintly, ignoring her question. "Four new moons have come and gone."

"What do you mean?" she frowned, rightfully puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"It's been four months," I fought to keep the frightened tears away as I began to feel very much like a bewildered, confused child once again. "Four months and my courses haven't come."

"Eires…?" Millerna's voice trailed away as understanding dawned on her.

"I'm pregnant."