Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ A Price to Pay (English) ❯ Conscious ( Chapter 4 )

Conscious

Aya awoke slowly from a deep, dreamless sleep. It took a while for him to become fully awake. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept that peacefully. And when had the last time been that he had awoken slowly and calmly and not all of a sudden? He couldn't remember.

Outside it was bright already and the first rays of sunlight made him blink. He stretched his body lazily and suddenly another body cuddled closer to his. Abruptly he froze realizing with a shock, that he wasn't in his bed in his own room. The memory of last night's events overwhelmed him with this realization.

Aya didn't dare to move. The slender, warm body next to him doubtlessly had to be Omi. Although he had closed his eyes in reaction to this first shock the scent of Omi's shampoo, which he had never noticed to be that intense, was simply unmistakable. He pressed his eyes shut until colorful sparks where dancing on the insides of his lids. He desperately tried to convince himself that he was still sleeping and that everything was only a dream, but the feel of a small body, laying trustingly resting next to his, remained. Shaking, he slowly opened his eyes. As he tilted his head to the side, he could see his younger teammate lying next to him.

Omi was sleeping on his side and pressed against him as close as possible. The eyes with the long, light lashes were still closed and the calm, even breathing of the boy showed Aya, that he was sound asleep. A fine, happy smile graced the peaceful face, the cheeks slightly reddened, the soft, blonde hair messy. At the thought, of what had happened the previous night, Aya's heart cramped together painfully because of guilt and embarrassment. How could he have lost control like that? Had his wish for closeness, for a human touch, become so powerful that he had simply forgotten morals and ethic at the mere sight of a tiny piece of happiness in the arms of someone else?

Carefully, Aya tried to detach himself from the sleeping boy and realized with a shock, that Omi hadn't only wrapped one arm around him, but that one of the boy's legs was also placed between his. Barely suppressing a curse he sighed softly instead. He had to get up and leave the room, before Omi woke up. As careful as possible he slid to the side of the bed and out of the soft embrace of the relaxed body of his young friend. He scanned the room and quickly found his clothing, which was scattered around the floor, dressed and quickly left the room as silently as possible. He needed a shower, the coldest shower available, to clear his head and think of how to handle this situation. He stepped into his room to fetch clean clothes and then disappeared into the bathroom.

*

*

Schuldig awoke with a start. Gasping for air he clutched his chest. He felt as if his heart would explode any moment because of pain. It took him a moment to understand what had happened. He had been in contact with Aya all night- even during his sleep. It had only been a weak, superficial link, but like this he had made sure to monitor every action of the two 'lovebirds' even if he should have been sound asleep. But instead of awakening to tender, loving feelings, Aya's guilty conscious broke down over him with such a violence, that it threatened to drive him insane. It took a lot of effort to shield himself to such an extent, that he was still able to sense these feelings, but no longer with the painful intensity he had felt in the beginning. A few calming breathes later, Schuldig had himself under control again.

"Damn!"

He hadn't expected to awake to such intense, negative feelings. He pondered, whether he should influence Aya to calm him down but decided against it. It could only be to his advantage if his red kitten would keep away from his team mate. But it could hardly do any damage if he spied a little. Carefully, he extended his feelers to listen to the confused thoughts.

*

*

Aya shivered under the cold blast of water, but it helped him to clear his head. Unfortunately the memory of the events from the previous night couldn't be driven away like that. After his confession Omi had thrown himself into his arms and they had lost themselves in a wild, intense kiss. He had pressed the boy against himself, as he had slid down onto his lap. He had felt the boy's hard arousal pressing against his stomach while his own hardness had pressed itself demandingly against the boys bottom. His hands had glided almost on their own accord over the slender back to hold it, caressing it lovingly.

Omi had begun to moan into his mouth and pressed himself firmer against him. When the uneven moaning turned into an uncontrollable gasping it wasn't long after, that Aya felt something wet and sticky on his stomach and the slender body had collapsed in his embrace. Omi's head had sunken onto his shoulder and the fine, wet hair hung messily over his face. Patiently, Aya had waited for the boy to calm down and had tenderly wiped the wet hair out of the slightly pinkish face.

Aya shook himself and turned the hot water on. All of a sudden he felt dirty and defiled and this not because of the scanty remains of Omi's seed that was sticking to his stomach. Energetically he grabbed the soap and a wash cloth and began to wash himself. But his thoughts drifted off and he remembered, how Omi's hands had glided tenderly over his chest, after the boy had recovered from his climax. Light kisses, that were spread over his neck and shoulders, fingertips, that circled slowly hardening nipples, a warm mouth, that carefully wandered deeper and the wet tip of a tongue, that caressed hard buds.

He had thrown his head back and had surrendered himself to the erotic, sensual feelings, that the boy awoke in him. Had moaned lustfully as a small hand had enclosed around his hardness to massage it with tender, even strokes. He had enjoyed, when a pair of hungry lips had closed around his hard nipples and sucked on them. As Omi had begun to nibble on them, Aya had climaxed with a deep moan into Omi's hand.

Again he closed his eyes to ban the memory from his mind, again without success. He had wrapped his arms around the boy and the two of them had fallen asleep on Omi's bed. It had been a long time that he had fallen asleep so peacefully and relaxed and he had liked it. Aya felt tears of embarrassment rolling down his cheeks. With an angry gesture he wiped them away and then hit the wall repeatedly with his fist.

"No. No. No. How could that have happened? That wasn't me! How could I have allowed something like that to happen?"

Slowly, he noticed that his hand began to hurt and he desperately tried to calm himself down again, while he tried to find an explanation for his actions.

"It won't happen again. I've made a mistake. I've made a big mistake."

He jerked around when he felt a cold gust of air. Omi had pulled the shower curtain to the side and stood behind him. His large, blue eyes looked fearfully at him. Aya sighed deeply. The situation was getting more and more out of hand. But he had to talk to the boy, the sooner the better.

"We have to talk, Omi."

The blond boy opened his mouth, but Aya shook his head violently. Quickly he turned off he shower and wrapped himself in a large towel.

"Please listen to me first."

He had to take a few deep breaths to collect himself and to be capable of vocalizing his thoughts. Omi continued to stare at him and that didn't make it easier.

"Last night is not going to be repeated. I've made a mistake, Omi, and I am sorry. Very sorry."

He raised a hand to prevent Omi from protesting. With a sad smile he continued.

"It doesn't matter, whether you believe you are ready. And it doesn't matter whether you are adult or not. What does matter is that I..."

He interrupted himself and tried to avoid to desperate look in Omi's eyes. But he couldn't just stop now.

"To me, you are a friend, Omi; my friend and teammate. I am not saying that it's wrong to love a friend and have a serious relationship with him, but you are just..."

Again he interrupted himself and frantically searched for the right words, to express his feelings. Eventually he continued softly.

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have let it come that far. The price is simply too high."

He deeply regretted those words when he noticed the tears in Omi's eyes. But he couldn't and wouldn't allow himself to be overwhelmed by his own emotions and desires again. He had made that unforgivable and unexplainable mistake the night before. But the hurt in Omi's gaze tore him apart and he had to look away.

"Are you trying to tell me, that you gave yourself to me only out of pity?"

Omi's voice was torn between infinite sadness and deep disgust, but eventually the tears, which ran over his face only shortly after, won.

Aya wanted to grab the boy's shoulders and shake him, but pulled himself together. That would probably do more damage then good. The boy was confused and he himself didn't feel any better. It was absolutely not like him to open up and give in to his desires. But before he could follow that particular train of thought, a slender, shaking body threw itself into his arms. His first reflex was to return to boy's hug, but he stopped himself in time. That would make everything even worse. Tenderly he grabbed the small wrists and loosened Omi's hold.

"Omi?"

The boy lifted his tear-stained face and look painfully at Aya. He made no sound as he tried to return Aya's hard gaze.

"What are your real feelings for me?"

Nervously, Omi began to chew on his lower lip. This sudden topic change confused him. He didn't want to think about what he felt for Aya and why. He desperately tried to understand why Aya didn't feel the same way about him. But obviously Aya doubted his feelings. Or could it really be that Aya was right? Shaking, Omi took a few breaths to calm down again.

Aya sat on the rim of the bathtub and looked at him searchingly. And although it wasn't the typical careless and cold gaze, Omi was felt chilly on the inside. The warmth, which had shone in those unfathomable violet eyes, had vanished. Those lips, that had caressed him tenderly the prior night were firmly pressed together and didn't in the least remind him of the passionate mouth that had pressed itself against his. The person in front of him wasn't the same as the one he had given himself to.

"I like you."

His whispered words merely caused Aya to let go of his wrists. Despair flooded through the boy. Last night Aya had replied to his confession with the same words. Why didn't he say anything now? Why didn't he do anything to sooth that pain inside of him?

Aya was battling with his feelings. He was still torn between the wish to take the boy into his arms, to sooth him, and he urge to get up and simply leave the bathroom- back and forth. But both possibilities felt wrong. He couldn't embrace Omi and give him hope again. On the other hand he didn't want to just leave him like that. Although he wasn't the creator of this problem, he felt responsible. After all he had allowed himself to be seduced by Omi. But he had to find out of this one way.

"I know that you like me, Omi. And that means a lot to me. But I don't love you. And you don't love me. And that's why what happened last night shouldn't have happened."

"But why not? I trust you, I feel safe when you are close and .. and ......"

Omi interrupted himself and slowly he understood the meaning of Aya's words. He had only told him, that he liked him, not, that he loved him. But where was there a difference? If Aya was right, if the feelings that he had for the redhead weren't love, what were they? Omi's cheeks turned red. He had thrown himself at Aya like a lovesick teenager, like one of those fan-girls, which daily visited the shop. Had let himself be influenced by some hormone-driven dreams and jumped to false conclusions because his body had suddenly made demands, he didn't understand. Of course, he was aware of what was happening to him, but obviously his brains had made a glorious exit last night and lost the battle against his raging hormones.

"I feel so ashamed."

Facing the misery in front of him, Aya couldn't suppress a sad smile. Omi seemed so lost and helpless, as he stood there with his head dropped and embarrassment-induced red face.

"You don't have to be ashamed. I guess, puberty is just taking its toll on you. And with the life we lead, it's no surprise that we should dream of each other, I guess. After all, we have no one else."

Aya would have loved to take the last sentence back, but he had the feeling that he had said the right thing as Omi raised his head smiling happily.

"So you're not mad at me?"

Aya shook his head violently and stood up to get dressed.

"No, Omi. I'd only wish for you to have your first experience of that kind with someone, who truly loves you."

Omi grinned.

"Although you don't love me I still liked it a lot."

Aya bit down on his tongue to not groan aloud. Was this starting all over again? But to his surprise, Omi walked towards the door to leave the bathroom.

"But maybe you're right and I should wait for my one true love."

Dumbstruck, Aya stared at the slowly closing bathroom door.

*

*

Nagi sat at the breakfast table when an extremely happy Schuldig entered the kitchen and moved towards the coffee machine. Nagi knew that both, the German and Crawford, usually started the day with a coffee, that could raise the dead (if need be) and had already prepared some coffee, that fulfilled the requirement. But Schuldig's obvious good mood did surprise him, just as the early hour, at which the telepath was up. Normally he had to be violently dragged out of bed. The fact that he got up on his own meant either something very good or something very bad. Nagi decided to inquire.

"What did you do this time?"

Surprised, Schuldig turned to the young telkinet with quirked eyebrows. Then he grinned widely and sat down at the table.

"You're a tad too young for that, kid."

"Don't call me kid. And I am not too young."

Nagi glared angrily at the elder, who merely broke out in loud laughter and returned his attention to his coffee.

"You normally don't get up on your own and if you do, then you're in a foul mood. So what did you do this time?"

Schuldig was still shaking his head with an amused grin.

"I told you, you're too young and innocent for that."

The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes and sighed annoyed.

"If one lives under the same roof as you do, they can kiss their innocence good-bye. Let me guess, you entertained yourself. Who was it this time? Some girl that you found in some bar, or did you pick someone from the street?"

The grin on Schuldig's face widened.

"Did you eavesdrop on my door?"

"I don't have to eavesdrop for that. You're loud enough as it is."

"And you just say that without even blushing? Nagi, Nagi, I am shocked. What shall become off you?"

Giggling, Schuldig finished his coffee and placed the empty mug in the sink. He could feel the gaze of the boy on his back, but ignored it. This was his game and he'd be damned if he'd let anyone ruin his fun with Nagi starting to accuse him of carelessness. And that was just what the boy would do if he found out with whom he had entertained himself. So it was the best if the boy didn't find out anything.

Schuldig was about to leave the kitchen when he felt invisible forces holding him back. He shot Nagi an angry glare.

"Let go of me. it's none of your business. Or did Crawford set you against me?"

A tender blush passed Nagi's face and he let go of Schuldig.

"I just want to prevent something from happening to you. He said you'll die if you get involved with Abyssinian."

Nagi looked calmly at the German. Crawford's warning had unsettled him at first but when the American told him, how Schuldig had reacted, he had become angry. The telepath was going to risk the team's safety with his escapades and that had to be prevented at all costs.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. Believe me, I only want some fun, nothing else. Besides, it isn't said that my supposed death is somewhat related to Abyssinian. Or did our fearless leader tell you more than me?"

Schuldig tenderly placed a finger under Nagi's chin and lifted his head to look hard into his eyes. His probing gaze was met with a calm one and Nagi slowly shook his head.

"He only told me, that he had given you the same warning and that you had refused to listen to him. What did you get yourself into this time, Schuldig?"

With a deep sigh the German sat down at the table again. He knew the boy well enough to know, that he wouldn't stop bugging him until he knew everything. So he began.

"Abyssinian fascinates me. He's so different, the exact opposite of me. I want to know what's hiding behind that mask of ice. And of course, he's just too damn sexy."

Nagi listened to him silently and communicated with a curt nod that he wanted to know more. So Schuldig continued.

"Okay, I admit, I want to spend a night with him. All inclusive."

"Why don't you just use your powers and manipulate him? Wouldn't that be much safer and easier?"

Schuldig grinned widely at Nagi.

"But that wouldn't by fun. I want to get him so far to come to me on his own free will and I want him to know exactly, what's going on. I want him to be able to remember it."

"He's going to kill you."

"No, he's not. Crawford said: No one of Weiß is going to kill you. So Abyssinian won't, either. Besides, I am going to make sure he has the night of a lifetime."

Nagi's face turned into a mocking grin.

"And just how are you going to do that? That guy is even colder than ice, do you honestly believe a little bit of sex could thaw him up?"

"Why do you think I am in such a good mood? I know how to turn him on. If I plan to seduce someone, I prepare myself."

Schuldig exploded in loud laughter when he saw Nagi's surprised face.

"I played a little with his and Bombay's subconscious. Not much, just enough to let them lose their inhibitions. I can tell you, the kid pulled of a show! There's real potential in him. Maybe you should take a closer look at him when you meet him the next time."

He winked at the boy conspiratorly, but he only shook his head in annoyance.

Schuldig sighed. Ok, so his diversion hadn't worked.

"I had Abyssinian dream of his little friend and made Bomby believe that his feelings are more then friendship. The poor little fellow is struggling with puberty. That's why it was no problem to influence him. And Abyssinian was simply too- let's say pre-occupied- with Bombay's actions to notice, that he wasn't quite himself."

"You forced him to sleep with Bombay?"

"Of course I didn't. I want to be Abyssinian's first after all, and besides that, I would have had to do more for that and he would have surely noticed. And Bombay is your opponent, after all. If it's anyone's right to get the blonde angel into his bed, then it's you, isn't it?"

The boy snorted.

"Really, Schuldig. Only a moment ago you say I am too young for such a topic and now you're matching me up with the enemy."

The addressed broke out in roars of laughter again to which the telekinet reacted with a sour face.

"Why Bombay?"

Nagi simply didn't understand, why the German had chosen the youngest member of Weiß for his plan.

"That's simple. Because he would be the one that Abyssinian would expect it from the least."

"And for what?"

Schuldig crossed his arms and smiled at the boy.

"To find out what he likes, simple as that. I want him to enjoy the night with me, to make it an unforgettable experience for him. I want him to long for it, to dream of me, to be consumed by his longing for me. And all that on his free will and without force."

Nagi shook his head, doubtingly.

"No matter how much you prepare for "The Night Of HIS Lifetime", he's never going to meet with you on a voluntary basis. Only to push his blade through your heart."

"Oh yes, kid, he will. He will come on his own will all, alone and without his Katana."

"Never. He hates us too much for that. Did you forget that it was us, who killed his parents? We blew up his house and the explosion almost killed him as well. He saw us. Did you think of that? And do you honestly believe he forgot?"

Schuldig's grin vanished and was replaced by a frown. His good mood had vanished. He hadn't forgotten. And he knew, that Abyssinian hadn't forgotten, either.

"How do you think you'll get close to him anyway? Are you going to go to him and simply say: Hey, Abyssinian. I think you're sexy, why don't we spend a hot Night together? You're dead before you get a chance to open your mouth."

Schuldig growled an incoherent answer. Nagi didn't give in.

"What are you going to do?"

"I told you what I am going to do and that's it. You don't have to know more. Nothing's going to happen to me."

With that said, the German stood up and passed the dark haired boy. Briefly he placed his hand in a calming motion on the boy's shoulder and smiled.

"You're worrying too much, Nagi. Leave that to Crawford. Instead, you should worry about what you're going to do to the cute Bombay-kitten when you meet him the next time."

The telepath gave his teammate a conspiratol wink before exiting the kitchen and returned to his room. Nagi looked after him silently.

"Let's hope you're right," he whispered, barely audible. "Let's hope you're right."