Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Catfight ❯ Catfight ( One-Shot )

CATFIGHT

BY: MiniMorr

PAIRING: S/Y/A

RATING/WARNING: NC-17. Yaoi. Somewhat OOC. My attempts at humor (yes, that requires a warning... ;)

DISCLAIMER: I'm guessing that this is the closest I get to have them chained to the same bed without owning them, so I'll settle for that. Besides, if I'd own them, I'd have a couple of million rabid fan girls after me and I think I'd prefer not to... *cowers in corner*

ADD. NOTES: This is set in a new universe with the three of them - Schatten des Lichtes - which is supposed to be a really angsty story. Then I had a conversation with Ericedwyn where she mentioned a "catfight" and the muse caught up with it... M, this is for you - you have created a monster! ;) *hugs*

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Yes, Schu's referring to them as the 'kittens' all the time - which include Omi and Ken as well. Deal with it. ;)

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Schuldig was in trouble.

Not that he didn't have a way of landing himself in it face first a little now and then, but he usually had Crawford there to bail him out when things went wrong. That was completely out of the question this time though, both because there was no way in hell he could get Crawford down there fast enough to save his hide, and - more importantly - because he definitely didn't want the older man to see this.

Really, he should have been able to use his brain once in a while, but of course that had been out of the question as soon as he had laid eyes on them earlier that night.

Leather and silk shouldn't look so goddamm... droolworthy...

Especially not on two kittens on their way out on a mission.

Damn.

He knew he was in trouble the moment he had laid eyes on his Balinese-kitten and his Abyssinian-kitten tonight, but had that stopped him?

No.

He could have bet that Crawford was laughing his ass off at him right now - the bastard had probably seen this coming a long way back and it would be because of that he hadn't protested the least when the German had told him where he was going to spend the night.

Damn the bastard.

And it had all begun so nicely too; the kittens both dressed up in black leather and silk - his Abyssinian-kitten in a sleeveless top faintly shimmering in violet with a pair of black fingerless gloves going up over his elbows. Ragged bangs hanging down in his eyes, which had a thin line of kohl around them drew all attention there immediately. At least as soon as you could stop staring at the rest of him...

And his Balinese-kitten... The man knew how to attract attention, that much was for certain - another sleeveless top that left a hand's width of bare abdomen in green and gold that brought out his natural coloring and a thin plaited cord of leather around his left bicep completed the outfit. His hair was drawn back in the usual ponytail along with his shades on the bridge of his nose that hid amused green eyes. Both of them had leather pants that looked like they had been sprayed on and that had had the German drooling over them before they left, in vain trying to talk them into staying. An icy glare and an amused snort had been the response to that before the kittens had sauntered out the door and left him alone to his fantasies.

Only now, he wasn't so sure that those fantasies wouldn't have been enough - when he was presented with the consequences of his actions. Or lack thereof, which was a first for him.

It wasn't so bad, really, when you thought about it.

Really.

All he had to do was to stop them from trying to kill each other.

Of course, that was a lot easier said than done what with the Abyssinian-kitten drunk and the Balinese-kitten rather sober - or at least not as drunk as the younger one. That should have been enough to clue him in that some things weren't as they were supposed to be, but he hadn't been complaining the least when he - after almost four hours of being bored out of his mind - finally had someone to play with. He had waited for them to get back after the mission, slipping inside their minds a little now and then to check on how they were doing, tried to watch some TV - the only thing that had been available had been either porn or reruns and he had not been in the mood for either of it - and made himself a late dinner. After that, he had toured the living quarters of the Koneko, looking for something to entertain himself with. Going through their belongings was a big no-no where Ran was concerned - he had no wish to find out what he looked like on the inside, courtesy of one shiny pointy katana - and besides, there weren't many for him to go through either. The younger redhead had a shelf of books and a couple of CDs, but not much else. His other kitten hadn't cleaned out his room in quite a while, and thus they almost always slept in Ran's room. No one wanted to face the wrath of the things living under Yohji's bed.

Finally he had landed down in the living room again, sitting down to try and find something else than porn or reruns - for some reason the former wasn't as interesting and satisfying as it once had been; not unless it featured a redhead or a blond, anyway. Which they didn't tonight, so he ended up laughing at the whole spectacle instead, eagerly waiting for the two strays to find their way back home and half entertaining the thought to make one of those videos of their own. Of course, his Abyssinian-kitty would refuse, but his Balinese-kitty might be up for some fun...

What the other two kittens thought about the whole mess that was their love life he didn't give a damn about. Bombay-kitten didn't trust him for a moment, and Siberian-kitten wouldn't reach out with a hand even if he got paid for it. It was quite amusing how they thought that he had somehow compelled the eldest Weiss and was pulling the strings around their lives. Oh, how he wished...

He realized that he was straying from the matter at hand - not that it would be so overly strange if he did. No one wanted to face those two right now. Siberian-kitty and Bombay-kitty had come back down again to find out what all the noise was about, but had just shook their heads and headed up the stairs again. This was something new for him - he would have thought them to accuse him of influencing them and trying to break their team. Bombay was especially suspicious to the behaviour of his teammates, but this time they had just grinned at him before going back to bed. A peek inside their minds had revealed that this was a common occurrance and thus not something to be alarmed over.

It wasn't a common occurrance to him though.

Even if it was damn nice to have someone fight over him like that.

It had began about half an hour ago when they had returned home from their successful mission. He had been waiting for them rather impatiently by then, knowing that they were so close and still so far away...

The youngest kittens had taken one disgusted look at him - still in their mission-going-clubbing-gear - before heading up the stairs to leave him to deal with one tipsy - Ran - and one very amused - Yohji - kittens. The blond had mumbled something about washing up and had headed for the bathroom. A peek earlier inside his head had confirmed that he had been the one to take out the target since his other kitten had apparently misjudged the amount of alcohol he'd had the target pour him. The result had been that Yohji had done some - in his opinion - unnecessary work while the younger redhead had waltzed out of there singing to himself. If it hadn't been for that, the blond had been mightily tempted to leave his sort-of lover in the club to find his way home by himself - but the sight of the younger man dancing and humming along with the music had been too much. He had dissolved with laughter several times on their way home and was now barely composed enough to dump Ran in the living room, wink at Schuldig and head up the stairs to wash himself up a little. He'd had drinks spilled over him as he had taken out the target and wanted to get out of the clothes before they were completely ruined. Getting out of the club had been difficult enough as it was, but they had managed just fine. Schuldig had kept tabs on them on their way home, waiting - for him - rather patiently.

As his Balinese-kitten went to clean himself up, his Abyssinian-kitten had decided that he didn't wanted to be alone and had crawled - rather drunkenly and most adorably - over the floor to position himself in Schuldig's lap. This was something he wasn't about to say 'no' to, especially not when his kitty tasted so damn good and had dropped most of his shyness thanks to the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Some serious pawing had followed and he'd had worked them up to the point where the younger redhead wouldn't give a damn if someone walked in on them, their hands all over each other. Wave after wave of pure bliss had swept through them as Schuldig had linked them together, including Yohji who had decided to hurry up more than a bit after that.

So far, so good, he would later say.

If he survived this.

Then, the fight had begun with Yohji wanting in on the attention as well. It was just that Ran wouldn't give up so easily - or at all. He was quite content with where he was right then and couldn't be persuaded to move, despite all Yohji's whining. A rather drunken - but still potent - glare had had the blond back off for about two and a half seconds as the younger redhead had claimed his territory. Schuldig had by then began figuring out what was going on, and didn't look forward to have the whole thing explode on him - and not in a good way either. As Yohji had hissed a "move over, Fujimiya", Ran had turned his violet eyes again towards him and done his best to kill off the blond with another glare. Fortunately - or unfortunately - Yohji was since long used to that kind of treatment and had instead tried to bodily move his teammate.

That was when all hell broke loose and when Schuldig for the first time sat down and really wondered what the hell he had got himself into.

A rather pissed off Ran had stumbled back from his comfortable position on Schuldig and turned on Yohji with his arm still in the blond's grasp. Yohji might look skinny, but he was a lot stronger than he was given credit for and despite the way Ran tried to wriggle himself out of that grip he held on to him still. That had ended with the younger man slamming his elbow in the blond's ribs, which in turn had been retaliated with Yohji trying to bring him down by kicking him on the knee and the fight was on.

Playing referee had never been one of Schuldig's favorite pastimes and especially not when these two were involved. He knew that they had never got along as smashingly as, say himself and Crawford, but he wouldn't have even suspected it to go this far.

Not that it didn't give him a warm, rather fuzzy feeling inside as he watched Yohji try to slam Ran's head into the coffee table and in turn the redhead had done his best to geld his sometime-lover-all-the-time-object-of-hate. Because it did. They were fighting over him - no one had done that before.

There were no noise around the two of them except the occassional grunt when someone was slammed or kicked or bitten or a "Shi-ne, Kudoh" or a "Damn you, Fujimiya" and all in all it was very different from the catfights he had witnessed between women. And this most certainly gave the phrase a new meaning.

As it looked like Yohji finally had gained the upper hand and was trying to strangle Ran with his bare hands, Schuldig decided to step in. Reading their minds had proved rather fruitless as the only thing in there had been the blinding fury and new colorful ways to kill off the other. He took the risk as he grabbed Yohji by the scruff of the neck, much like he would have done with a kitten.

In an instant, the two of them ceased their struggling and blinked at him, both of them suddenly very, very ashamed of themselves.

"As much as I love watching the two of you, I think that's quite enough." He smirked down at their mortified looks. Ran recovered first, bumping his glare up a notch or two as he stared at Yohji who still had his hands around the redhead's throat. He was going to have bruises like nothing else come morning.

"Fuck you, Kudoh!" The younger man tried to sit up and shove the blond off him, but Yohji just sat down on his legs to keep him in place.

"Shut up, Fujimiya! You started this!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did-"

"Be. Quiet." He would never have thought that he'd live to see that day when he was the one to stop a fight like this, but he knew he'd get a headache like nothing else if they didn't shut up right about now. He had told them the truth - as much as he loved to watch them fight over him, he knew that they would regret it in the morning. Or should have, at any rate. He wasn't entirely sure of what they felt towards each other - attraction mingled quite nicely with hatred and they were either screwing like rabbits or trying to kill each other. "And behave," he added for good measure.

Again he wondered how he could have ended up with the two of them like this, but that thought was quickly squashed rather ruthlessly as two heated pair of eyes were turned to him. Emerald and amethyst stared at him for a moment before Yohji looked down, meeting Ran's eyes and he was suddenly faced with two very determined kittens on the prowl.

He was once more amazed with how quickly they could go from murderous rage and jealousy to cooperating and took a step back. Not that he was complaining - as enjoyable as it was to see them fight over him like that, he could have conjured up a couple of more interesting things for the evening; things that didn't include the removal of a corpse at the end anyway.

Ran turned from under Yohji, moving lazily as one of his rare smiles lit his face. A smile with a decidedly predatory edge to it, one which was echoed by the blond as he lifted himself off Ran to eye Schuldig appreciatingly. It were times like these that the German wondered if not at least one of them were telepathic what with the way they coordinated their movements as they slid the few feet over the floor that separated him from them.

Yohji reached him first and pushed him back down on the couch before nudging his legs apart and crawled in between them; up over Schuldig who closed his eyes. The redhead couldn't keep back a grin at the action, especially not when the blond skimmed his hands over his thighs, barely touching but leaving a thousand tiny flames in their wake. Schuldig shuddered and bit back a moan as the hands continued upwards, fingers dancing in under his shirt. He barely had the time to spare a thought to where his other kitten had disappeared before a hand turned his face to the left and a pair of soft lips nipped at his. Silky hair brushed against his face before withdrawing again.

He opened his eyes to find his Abyssinian-kitten staring at him. The pale man still had that predatory grin on his face and Schuldig was momentarily distracted by it before Yohji's roaming hands gave him something else to think about. He moaned as the blond nuzzled the bulge at front of his pants, and the sound was greedily swallowed by the younger redhead's lips again. Something that sounded decidedly like a chuckle followed and he reached down and grabbed Yohji's hair to haul him up for a kiss.

That proved to be a mistake as he let go of Ran long enough to engage his other kitten in another toe-curdling kiss as the younger man wasn't overly happy with being shoved aside. A growl was the only warning they had before he had grabbed Yohji by the scruff of his neck and forcibly parted them.

"What the fuck?!" Yohji-kitten was furious again as he glared up at Ran-kitten, his eyes promising a slow, painful death. In return, the redhead merely stared him down from where he was; on all four on the couch, with a smug and very territorial expression on his face.

"Mine." The word was growled out as the staring match continued for a few seconds before Schuldig decided that he'd had enough. If his Ran-kitten had been a real kitten, his hackles would have been raised and he would most likely have been spitting mad by now. Instead, he was still glaring his teammate down with eyes as cold as ice, asserting every inch of dominance he could. A peek inside the kitten's mind proved his suspicions true - the redhead was trying to use team dynamics to make his other kitten back off. Too bad that he wasn't as much of an Alpha as he believed himself to be - especially not when it came to sex.

"Like hell he is!" Yotan-kitten spat back, eyes glittering dangerously as he sat up a bit straighter, glaring at his rival. The German barely stiffled a sigh as he watched the two of them, waiting for the explosion.

"Back. Off." Amethyst locked with emerald again as the younger man leaned a bit forward, using the advantage of his for once superior height to make the blond back down.

"Hört endlich auf damit, ihr Zwei!" Schuldig almost regretted the words as soon as they were spoken when two pairs of furious eyes turned to him again. They might not know what he had said, but they recognized the tone in his voice and neither of them were pleased by it.

Then Ran-kitty blinked at him once before pouncing and Schuldig found himself flat on his back in a very awkward position on the couch. Before anything else could happen though, there was a clearing of a throat from the doorway - Bombay-kitty was still awake by the look of it.

"Would you guys mind to take that to the bedroom?" Cold blue eyes regarded them for a moment before the youngest kitten turned around again and padded on soft feet back to his bed. Schuldig smirked as he read his thoughts - apparently he was afraid of coming down in the morning to find them still there - but Ran-kitty frowned.

"He's right. We should take this somewhere else..." He crawled off the older redhead, who sorely missed the warmth and the feeling of his body, and turned to the blond. Yohji-kitten cocked his head to the side, studying them for a moment before shrugging.

"Whatever."

That earned him another glare and Schuldig rolled his eyes. He grabbed them both by the wrists as he rose, ignoring the twin yelps at his actions. "I said knock it off, you two!"

Dragging them down the hallway towards Ran's bedroom he ignored the sullen pout on their lips. "Really, you should know better! How old are you? Five?" He turned to the blond who was glaring at him and trying to get him to release the grip he had on the man's thin wrist, smirking before tightening it and yanking him forward. On his other side, the younger redhead snickered quietly as he watched his rival being chewed out. Schuldig spared a glance behind him, noticing the amused violet eyes and a thin eyebrow rose. So someone found this funny?

"And you," he turned towards Ran, who blinked warily at the finger pointed at him, "should start acting your age and stop being such a child!" The little demon - as he was labeled from time to time - just smiled at him again before grabbing his hand and pressing it against his cheek, ignoring the strangled sound coming from Yohji on the other side. The cheek was replaced by lips, and lips by a wet tongue as he continued watching the German. The older redhead bit back another moan at that, carefully reclaiming his hand and wondering just when the hell he had been dubbed the responsible one? It was usually his youngest kitten who was the one to put a stop to any fun they wanted to have at inappropriate places and to have the tables turned like this was more than a bit strange. Schuldig growled and grabbed them both by the wrists again, intent on reaching the bedroom tonight.

"Now," he ordered as he watched them sternly and closed the door behind them, "kiss and make up! And no biting!" Twin glares were directed at him at the words, but he merely smirked at them and raised an eyebrow.

Yohji rolled his eyes at the German, but turned to Ran who was still trying to glare a hole in his skull. Schuldig stared at them, waiting patiently for what he knew was going to happen. He wasn't disappointed when the blond grabbed the smaller redhead by one of the eartails and hauled him in for a mindnumbing kiss that left the younger man breathless. Watching the two of them, he could barely bite back a moan again as he watched how Ran slumped against Yohji, allowing the older man to take the lead.

It never ceased to amaze Schuldig how easily his Ran-kitty would give up control when it came to sex. It was the only thing he was still uncertain about, the only thing he where felt that he held no control over them and the only time when he allowed himself to be dominated like this. At all other times, the redhead had almost an obsessive need to be in control over his surroundings - which included them. He was almost worse than Crawford when it came to this, but as long as it didn't involve sex, Schuldig could live with it. And there was something special with being the one who was able to control the icy redhead like this... He knew that he got off on it because Ran was still too proud in so many ways, still knew how to keep him at an arm's length despite everything they had been through and Schuldig itched to break the wall that surrounded his lover.

Realizing that he would start drooling for real he moved over to the bed and sat down. The kittens were still where he had left them, kissing each other ferociously and he wasn't surprised when hands were added to the equation, skimming over pale and golden skin in slow, deliberate movements. He knew that they put up a show for him, not that he was complaining the least. It was always interesting to see what they could come up with - and especially when his youngest kitten had lost his natural inhibitions like now.

Yohji broke the kiss, watching his rival for a moment as the younger man tried to catch his breath. He was holding onto the blond's hips, fingers slipping in under the rim of the older man's pants. As Schuldig watched, he licked his lips slowly as if savoring the taste before he turned to the older redhead and smiled. Yohji was watching his younger lover with an unreadable expression on his face before pressing him closer. Ran turned his heavily lidded eyes towards the blond again before removing his hands from the older man's hips. A choked sound of protest was heard from Yohji before changing into a moan as pale lips were attached to his neck with bruising intensity. Say what you wanted about his Ran-kitty, but he sure knew how to grab someone's attention. Pale hands moved up and down the golden back, still bare from when Yohji had got rid of his top and the blond shivered as he returned the gesture.

******

So I'm adding little by little to this one as well... It looks like it's abandoning whatever plot it didn't have and becomes pointless smut, but I'm blaming that on the muse. We're at war right now about how this will end - and how much... stuff... we're going to include... *blushes* It's all his fault, I tell you!!! *crawls away to hide under the bed and blush to death*

Translations:

"Hört endlich auf damit, ihr Zwei!" - "Give it up, you two!"

Thanks to Pandora for help with the German! :)