Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Curse of the Koneko ❯ Can ramen be deadly? ( Chapter 2 )

Curse of the Koneko

Chapter 2

Warning: silliness, OOCness, and overall craziness. I did intend to add more shounen ai, but things got kind of carried away...

After lots of hard work, Ken finished cleaning up, and put away all of the cleaning supplies. Then he looked around for the kitten, but couldn't find him anywhere in the flower shop. Hoping that there wouldn't be another mess to clean up, Ken decided to look in the backroom.

Approaching the room, Ken could see that the door was ajar, with just enough room for the kitten to get in. He opened the door all the way to find red, blue, green, purple, and all other sorts of ribbon strewn across the floor in a tangled heap.

Ken couldn't see the kitten anywhere, with the ribbons covering everything. He stepped into the room, trying to clear off the floor. Unfortunately, being Ken, he tripped and fell to the floor.

"Owww..." he groaned. His feet became tangled with all of the colorful ribbons around him, so when he tried to get up, he fell down again. Ken struggled to get all of the ribbon away from him, but only succeeded to get even more tangled up.

Suddenly, he felt tiny teeth bite down viciously on his hand, causing it to bleed. Looking down at it, he saw the white kitten with his mouth attached to his hand. As if that weren't weird enough, the kitten began licking the blood like it was water.

As soon as he felt that rough pink tongue on his hand, Ken was too shocked to do anything. Omi's kitten was lapping up his blood like a little vampire! He sat paralyzed while Farfarello continued licking and biting until something in him finally snapped. Ken let out a deafening, ear-piercing scream that could be heard from miles away, and nearly broke all of the store's windows.

Within minutes, Omi was downstairs with his new kitten. He stopped in the doorway of the storage room and looked around at what was going on. Dozens of ribbons were in tangled heaps on the floor, and in the center of the mess was Ken, with Farfarello the kitten gnawing ferociously at his hand.

Ken started shaking his hand wildly, trying to get rid of the kitten's teeth, but Farfarello had a death grip on him. "Get off, you %$&*#^$%&*(#$ cat!!!"

His eyes wide in shock, Omi gasped. "Ken! Don't talk like that! And what on Earth happened in here?"

"Your dumb cat got in here and messed everything up!" Ken said as he shook his hand harder. Finally, Farfarello the kitten let go of his hand and went flying across the room, landing safely on a pile of ribbons.

Omi ran to the fallen kitten and picked him up. After depositing both Farfarello and Schuldig on the store counter in the shop, Omi went back to help Ken up. As Ken bandaged his bleeding hand, Omi cleaned up the storage room, lest Aya come back to find the shop in even more of a mess than when he left.

When they were done, they went back to the counter where Schuldig was now checking Farfarello for injuries. Kitten or human, Schuldig had to make sure he wasn't hurt, lest he had to face Crawford's wrath afterward. Once Ken and Omi saw them, all angry thoughts vanished, to be replaced with confused ones.

"Uh, that cat seems awfully worried about Hn. Is it his girlfriend?"

"No, they're both boys!"

Ken and Omi looked at each other, then at the two kittens on the counter. As soon as Schuldig finished his inspection, Farfarello started sending him mental images of what had happened to him so far. But since Omi and Ken weren't telepaths, they didn't know this, and only saw the two kittens staring intently at one another.

"Can cats have a shounen ai relationship?!"

"I don't think so..."

"Where the heck did you find that weirdo cat?"

"He climbed all the way up to my bedroom window."

"You're kidding... He seriously wanted to be with Hn that much?!"

As they talked, Schuldig was communicating with Farfarello telepathically.

'Those idiots really think that we're in a shounen ai relationship. Guess who innocent little Omitchi is seeing off to the side? Our very own Prodigy. Interesting, ne?'

'Shounen ai hurts God.'

'Ja, it does. This will be a fun assignment.'

'But we're not allowed to kill anyone! Crawford only sent us to keep an eye on Weiss.'

'There are many different ways of torture that don't involve pain, Farf.'

Doubtfully, Farfarello listened as Schuldig told him about the many ways they could annoy Weiss without throwing Crawford into an angry fit.

After almost an hour of shopping- and complaining- Aya and Yohji had paid for all of their groceries, ready to begin the journey home. With a grocery bag in each hand, the two boys looked cautiously out the front door of the store.

"See any fangirls?"

"No."

"Here's what we're going to do: we exit the building, I turn left and you turn right, and we make a break for it. Understood?" Aya told him.

"Hai."

Aya and Yohji looked once more for fangirls, and then darted away in separate directions. Once Aya was far enough from the store, he turned back to see how Yohji was doing. The fangirls had spotted him and were chasing him. Aya was glad he wasn't in Yohji's position. Smirking to himself, he continued on his way. Yohji could be so dumb sometimes. Didn't he know turning right was the long way home?

After about ten minutes of walking, during which Aya was very tense and jumped at the slightest sound, he arrived at the flower shop. As soon as he walked in, Omi and Ken greeted him.

"Konnichi wa, Aya."

"Need some help?"

Omi grabbed the groceries and went to put them away as Ken set aside the magazine he had been reading.

"Was there any trouble while I was gone?"

"No, the cats were good."

"...Cats?! I though we had one."

Ken flinched, remembering that Aya didn't know about the new kitten. "Uh, yeah, we got another one..."

"ANOTHER ONE?! The other one was supposed to be gone, and you tell me that we have ANOTHER ONE?!"

"Uh, yeah..."

Omi walked into the room in time to hear Aya's last sentence. Pointing at the two kittens that were now sleeping on the shop counter, he said, "Hai, we have a new kitten. We named him Shi-ne, in your honor. He's Hn's boyfriend!"

"Boyfriend? I thought the other one was male."

"Yup, they're both boys. Apparently, humans aren't the only one with shounen ai relationships!"

Aya closed his eyes, processing this new information. They were acting like a cat being in a shounen ai relationship was normal! His teammates got weirder and weirder every day.

"Whatever. I don't even want to know. Just... just make sure those things don't do anything."

Omi grinned, glad that he didn't have to argue with Aya about it anymore.

Noticing someone was missing, Ken asked, "Oi, where's Yohji?"

"He's, um, entertaining the fangirls."

"Nani?"

Suddenly, the flower shop door burst open to reveal a very worn out Yohji. His hair was a mess, his shirt and a shoe were missing, and the rest of his clothes were torn and tattered. Yet, somehow, he managed to keep all of his groceries.

He quickly slammed the door shut and locked it. His teammates looked at him with wide eyes.

"What happened to you, Yohji?"

Yohji glared and pointed an accusing finger at Aya. "He came home and left me to deal with all of the fangirls- the RABID fangirls. Those things out there took my shirt! My FAVORITE shirt! And they took my shoe! MY $%^&*$&^% SHOE! THOSE $&^%^&*&&^ FREAKS TOOK MY ^&*(*(& SHOE AND MY @&*)^%$ SHIRT!!!!"

"Get over yourself. It was an ugly shirt, and those shoes clash with your hair," Aya told him.

"Nani?! You TRAITOR! You sold me out to them!"

Aya rolled his eyes. "You were the one who agreed to turn right, while I turned left. Don't blame me if the fangirls chose to follow you."

"But isn't that the long way home?" Ken asked.

Yohji's eyes narrowed further. "Long way home? YOU MADE ME WALK THE LONG WAY HOME?!!!"

"You agreed to it."

Yohji was ready to attack Aya when they heard a loud bang. Everyone looked at the front door, which the fangirls were trying to tear down. With their eyes wide in fright, Aya and Yohji bolted upstairs, lest the fangirls break in and catch them. Several loud noises came from outside, including demands for the 'bishies to come out and play'.

"So, uh, should we let them in?"

"I don't think Aya and Yohji would appreciate that."

"Then, what do we do...?"

"Ken, why don't you close up the shop? I doubt any customers are going to come with all of those fangirls around," Omi requested. Once Ken nodded in response, Omi grabbed the two dozing kittens gently, who mewled loudly in protest when he woke them up, and walked upstairs.

When Omi arrived in the living room, he found Aya on the couch reading a book. Yohji, he assumed, had gone to change clothes. Glancing at the clock, he discovered that it was almost time for dinner.

"Oi, Aya, what's for dinner?"

Aya glanced up at him. "We did the shopping, so you and Ken have to cook."

"Um okay... What should we cook?"

"Your decision. Just make it edible," Aya replied before returning to his book.

"That wasn't a helpful suggestion..." Omi complained. Realizing Aya wasn't going to respond, he sighed and set the two kittens down on the floor. "Aya, watch Hn and Shi-ne while I cook, okay?"

Taking Aya's silence as agreement, Omi headed off to the kitchen to start cooking. Aya was starting to get on his nerves. The whole cat fiasco had been blown way out of proportion, and Aya was the one at fault. Omi sighed again, deciding to just get out of the room before he decided to say something mean to Aya. It wasn't his fault that he was antisocial.

The living room became noiseless save the occasional turning of a page, until a few minutes later, when Yohji entered the room wearing a new set of clothes.

Aya looked up as the other boy entered. Yohji sat down on the other couch and pulled out a hentai magazine. "I'm not talking to you until you apologize!" Yohji announced.

Schuldig the kitten looked at Yohji's magazine with interest, causing Farfarello to follow his gaze. Aya raised an eyebrow as the orange-haired kitten leaped gracefully to perch on Yohji's shoulder and began looking at the hentai magazine avidly. When Farfarello the kitten followed him curiously, Aya shook his head sadly before returning to his reading. What kind of freaky kittens were they? Shounen ai relationships, hentai magazines- what next? Strip clubs for cats and dogs?

Yohji paid the kittens no attention and continued reading his magazine, pointedly not talking to Aya as a constant reminder that he was still angry. While Schuldig continued skimming the magazine, Farfarello lost interest quickly.

'Schu? Where's Siberian? I'm bored, and he seems fun to annoy!'

'Be quiet! I'm trying to read this!'

'Since when do you read? And I want to find Siberian-kitty!'

'Find him yourself, lazy.'

Farfarello scowled at Schuldig, who ignored him, and jumped down to the floor to look for Ken. This was the first time he had ever been inside the Weiss household, and Farfarello had no clue where to find anything.

After wandering around aimlessly for a while, Farfarello found Omi trying to decide what to cook for dinner in the kitchen. Farfarello stood beside Omi's feet and meowed, "Where's Siberian-kitty?"

Being human, Omi, of course, only heard a chorus of meows. He looked down, and when he saw Farfarello, he grinned. "Konnichi wa, koneko!"

The kitten repeated his question, "Meow meow-ow?"

Omi blinked repeatedly, trying to decipher what had been said. "...Oh, I get it! You must be hungry, right?"

"Meow meow-ow!" he said again.

"No worries, Hn! Now, if we could just find Ken, maybe we could feed you and Shi-ne." Omi picked Farfarello up and set him by the stove. "What would you like for dinner? We don't have any cat food. Baka Aya wants me to care of you, but he doesn't even bother to buy your food!" Glaring at in the general direction of where Aya was, Omi continued, "Hmph, we'll show him! Forget about fancy five-course dinners- we're having instant ramen tonight! Mwahaha!"

Farfarello glanced at Omi, wondering which of them was the sane one. Since when did naïve little Omi plot against Weiss's leader in an effort to feed him bad cooking? This was a plot worthy of Nagi's doing! Remembering what Schuldig had said about Omi and Nagi, it did make sense for Prodigy's attitude to rub off on Omi. Perhaps Nagi was a bad influence to the Weiss-kitty.

The very thought made Farfarello want to snicker. Imagine the two more innocent Weiss and Schwarz assassins together! God would certainly dislike it!

"Eh, Omi? Are you okay? I thought I heard maniacal laughter in here."

Omi and Farfarello turned to see Ken walking into the kitchen.

"Aya said something about us cooking dinner...?" Ken asked.

"Oh, hai! We have to cook since they shopped."

"Are you sure you're alright? You look kind of pale."

"Oh, I'll be fine after we serve that dictator of ours... [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN! Bwahahaha!" Omi announced joyously- or, perhaps, insanely, but you can be the judge of that.

Ken gasped. "But Aya only eats the finest of foods! If we were to serve him [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN, he might die because the cheap food products wouldn't be good enough for his fragile digestive system!"

Omi pondered that thought for a moment. "True... which is why we'll disguise the noodles as fancy restaurant food! Nobody but us will know the difference, and I bet Mr. Popsicle's digestive system won't be able to tell until it's TOO LATE! It'll be the perfect crime- feed him [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN and make him think he's eating the finest of Japan! MWAHA! FEEL THE WRATH OF A GENIUS WITH TOO MUCH SPARE TIME!"

"Right..." Ken said dryly. "Why are you so against Aya anyway?"

"First, he forbids me from keeping Hn and Shi-ne here, then he has to be forced to do just a little bit of grocery shopping when I'm the one who usually does it, and he's always such a cold-hearted jerk to everyone. And, get this, last week he, " Omi paused significantly, "MADE FUN OF MY SHORTS! He said that they were too short for a boy!!! THAT COLD-HEARTED %^ &*()(*$&&^!!!! I SHALL REVENGE THE LOSS OF MY PRIDE!!"

Ken sweat dropped. He thought about telling Omi that it was actually Yohji who made fun of his shorts, but he didn't want to spoil the mood. Instead, he settled for saying, "Geez, you're really OOC today, you know?"

"I know! Must be the rabid fangirls... Sometimes all of their Sailor Moon merchandise gets on my nerves... It seems that Sailor Moon has been becoming more and more popular lately. If we're not careful, our fangirls will try to convert us to Sailor Whatever fans!!!"

"Sheesh, Sailor Moon must be the spawn of evil or something! I bet you anything that Schwarz are Sailor Moon fanboys!"

Farfarello's single good eye narrowed at Ken's remark. Maybe Nagi, and probably Schuldig too, but Farfarello was most certainly not a Sailor Moon fanboy! If he was anybody's fanboy, it had to be Martha Stewart! She had pretty knives, and on Martha Stewart Living, she was always slicing things...

"For the love of cheese, all those Sailor freaks do is run around in mini skirts shouting about moons and planets and stuff!"

"And what's up with her boyfriend, that mask guy? What kind of dorky baka runs around with roses and proclaims his love for some random blond girl with absolutely no friggin sense?!"

"His weapon is a rose!! A ROSE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I bet he gets roses from the flower shop down the street. Did you know they're having another sale this week? That's why our only customers are those rabid fangirls!"

"Oh, dear! We're gonna have to lower our prices again!"

"If we want to stay in business, that is. To tell you the truth, I've been thinking about quitting and joining the circus or working at McDonald's."

"Really? Wow, me too! I've always wanted to work at a fast food place!"

Ken suddenly grabbed Omi by the shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. "Let's run away together! After we kill Aya with [dramatic pause] INSTANT RAMEN and we lock Yohji in the bathroom, we can immigrate illegally to California and work at a greasy fast food joint! If we're lucky, we'll make it all the way to Hollywood and meet Pamela Anderson!"

"Who's that?"

"I don't know, but I heard she was really hot!"

"Okies!!! But, can I bring the kittens?"

"Sure, why not?"

Omi thought about Nagi for a moment. "Can I bring a... friend, too?"

"What, like a girlfriend?"

"N-not really..." Omi bit his lip nervously. He almost let Ken know about Nagi!

Ken grinned. "Good, cause you're MY Omitchi!"

"N-nani?!" Omi's eyes widened and a blush spread across his face.

Farfarello watched them suspiciously, hissing once hearing Ken's statement. Omi was Nagi's! Nobody double-crossed a member of Schwarz!

The kitten was ready to pounce when Ken said, "Just kidding! Man, you should've seen the look on your face!" Ken laughed. "You're really naïve, you know that?"

Omi glared at the older boy. "It's not funny! Ken, I hope you know that you're OOC too! You're starting to sound like Yohji, and it's really scary!"

"Aw, quit being such a cry baby!"

"I'm NOT a cry baby!"

"Yes you are! Look, you're starting to cry! The Chibi Cry Baby strikes again!" Ken announced teasingly.

Indeed, tears were welling up in Omi's eyes. He hated it when people called him that!

"Okay, Omi, you can stop crying now!" Ken said as tears coursed down Omi's face. "Omitchi...?"

"I HATE being called a cry baby! Especially CHIBI CRY BABY!!!" Omi managed to say between sobs. "You're always so MEAN to me, Ken! You and Yohji and Aya are always saying bad things about me and MAKING FUN OF MY SHORTS!"

"GAH! Omitchi... I'm so sorry!!! Just, stop crying!" Ken put a comforting arm around Omi and patted his back sympathetically. "Gomen nasai!!!"

Suddenly, all of Omi's tears dried up instantly and he grinned. "Haha! Gotcha, Kenken!"

Omi laughed as his teammate glared at him in mock anger. "ARGH! You little... Quit it with the crocodile tears already!!!"

"But seriously, Ken, please stop acting like Yohji! It's really creepy!"

"Oh alright." He gave Omi a hug as he said, "I wouldn't want to freak you out too bad, after all. Weiss needs their Bombay!"

Farfarello scowled from his spot by the stove. They were at it again! Hugging, teasing, possessiveness- next came kissing, then... Farfarello had to put an end to this madness! In his mind, he was the only one who should be able to do anything so crazy.

It was time to take action! Thankfully, action was Farfarello's middle name! (Not really, but whatever.)

Mentally, Farfarello counted down from five.

Five...

Omi smiled at Ken.

Four...

Ken smiled back.

Three...

Farfarello extracted his claws.

Two...

The kitten crouched, ready to go. Ken asked Omi if everything was okay now.

One...

His lone amber eye locked on his target. Omi opened his mouth to answer.

Go!

With his eye narrowed, Farfarello pounced...

TO BE CONTINUED