Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Drabble Equations ❯ dialogue ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Title: Bradley-Bear
Team: Schwarz
Characters: Crawford/Schuldig, Farfarello
Notes: Inspired by my parents, who talk to one another like this.

“Bradley-bear!”

“…”
“Hunzey-bunzey-bradley-bear!”

“Death is not the answer. I will not kill him.”

“Smookums?”

“Not listening.”

“Oh, smooky-wooky! Why are you hiding from me? I need your help.”

“No. No, you don’t.”

“But, Braaaaaaaa-”

“Would you like me to kill him? It wouldn’t take much, just a slice or two.”

“No. I don’t want to have to clean up his messy blood.”

“Bradikins! I need youuuuuuuuu!”

“I could break his spine?”

“No. Thank you anyway, Farfarello.”

“Braaaaaadley! Please, come here! I‘m need your assistance.”

“…You do realize he fell into the toilet again, right?”

“I’m well aware of that, Farfarello.”


Title: Aya's Precious
Team: Schwarz
Characters: Aya, Yohji

“My Precioussssssssss!”

“What the…?”

“Who did it? Who touched it?”

“Aya, calm down.”

“Shut up, Yohji! This does not concern you.”

“Sheesh, talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“Where’s Ken? Where the fuck is Ken?”

“Soccer practice. What did he do?”

“You’re right. Ken’s not smart enough--”

“I didn’t say that.”

“--To do something like this.”

“Do what?”

“It was Omi!”

“Aya, what are you talking-”

“The little brat!”

“Well, that’s not very nice.”

“Shut up, Yohji!”

“Aya… Why is your katana painted pink?”

“…”

“Huh. Maybe you shouldn’t have made fun of Omi’s shorts.”


Title: Dancing Queen
Team: Schwarz
Characters: Crawford, Schuldig
Notes: Dancing Queen lyrics by Abba

“See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen.”

“This is the scariest moment of my life.”

“Seriously. Who gave him sugar again?”

“You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen.”

“Crawford… Do something. Please?”

“I don’t think I can, Schuldig… This is a force completely out of my control.”

“Where’s Nagi?”

“In his room.”

“…What if we open his door? That will cause him to hear the horrors we have been faced to witness.”

“Schuldig, he’s the one that gave Farfarello the sugar.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Not if I get to him first.”


Title: Nagi's Death
Series: Schwarz's Death
Team: Schwarz
Characters: Crawford, Nagi

“You will die in five days, six hours, and twenty-three minutes.”

“…Gee, thank you Crawford. And here I was afraid that I would not fear everyone I meet.”

“I’m just being honest, Nagi.”

“…”
“Don’t you wish to know how you will die?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

“Okay, then.”

“A glint.”

“A what?”

“A glint of light.”

“…”

“The sun will glint off my glasses, resulting in your being blinded. You will then trip over a rock and land in the middle of a road, where you will be hit by a bus.”

“…I have homework to do.”


Title: Schuldig's Death
Series: Schwarz's Death
Team: Schwarz
Characters: Crawford, Schuldig

“Well, Crawford?”

“Well what, Schuldig?”

“Are you going to tell me how I’m going to die?”

“…”

“You told Nagi.”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Fine. One year, four months, three days, and seven hours. Your death will be caused by lack of blood circulation from the groin down, which will result in you drowning in a kiddie pool.”

“…Huh?”

“I suggest that you avoid wearing those peach thongs you enjoy so much.”

“What am I doing in a kiddie pool?”

“…”
“Oh, yeah. Heh. Right, that.”

“Perhaps you should start leaving those single mothers alone, Schuldig.”


Title: Farfarello's Death
Series: Schwarz's Death
Team: Schwarz
Character: Crawford, Farfarello

“Farfarello. Do you want to know how you’ll die?”

“Die? I think not. I shall burn for eternity in God’s Hell, don’t you think? Or perhaps come back as a ghost?”

“Crucifix.”

“Aye. The crucifix shall surely kill me. Terrible sight.”

“No, I meant a crucifix is going to fall on top of you. In exactly seven days.”

“Another reason to hate God. Fascinating.”

“…I’m really starting to regret sending to that therapist, you know.”

“Aye.”

“I suppose I could give you permission to kill him.”

“You could.”

“Yes. I could.”

“…Don’t leave me hanging like this, Crawford. It’s cruel.”