Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Forgotten Memories ❯ Within Reasons ( Chapter 4 )

Title: Forgotten Memories

Author: Sardius

Category: Angst/Romance

Pairings: Ken/Aya and Yohji/Aya

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kruez otherwise I won't be sitting here sharing with you my entertaining stories. O.o; *sweatdrops*

Author's Note: I am hoping ff.net is really finally working now. And all will continue well throughout the year. Sniff……I missed reading lots of ppl's fics. Anyhow I thought I should post something since I have been rather lazy as usual.

For Ken/Aya fan: this part for you guys! I've really tried my best okay so don't be mean to me or I'll cry! This is for you all waving madly with ur Ken and Aya banner..(or nice strong arguments from Jin-chan once again) ….don't worry Lady Gackt, the Yohji/Aya bit is in the next chapter. *grin*

And thanks to everyone that commented! You know who you are! *smiles*

// Character's thoughts //

Chapter Four: Within Reasons

I stood starring at the scene in front of me. I couldn't believe if my mind was playing tricks on me or if I was dreaming. I saw Yohji kissing Aya. My Aya. That bastard was kissing my Aya and Aya wasn't stopping him. Anger began to burnt so deeply inside my heart, my hands was clutching tightly in fists as I starred at Kudou in the eye.

Suddenly the silence was broken when Aya spoke. "Ken….this.."

"I don't want to hear about it," I snapped.

"Hey don't talk to him like that." Yohji snapped back at me. All I could see was red at the moment…how could I have been so foolish to think Aya would be with me forever. He had obviously forgotten about me.

"Don't you fucking talk to me Kudou. What the hell were you doing? You fucking know Aya and me are together! What gave you the right to steal him away? He doesn't fucking love you!" My breath was coming in quick short breaths as I moved closer to the blonde, that asshole who I want to slash my claws through his guts and leave him to die slowly in pain.

"You don't own him Hidaka. I think Aya has the right to choose who he loves."

I raised my fist planning to smash his face into pieces when Aya stopped me. "Ken! Don't hurt him. It wasn't what you think."

His eyes. His eyes were pleading me to stop this. Somehow through the anger, a deeper sorrow began to rise. How could I go on without him? Without my Aya. After everything we have shared, the things we have promised to each other. Can't he remember any of it? Is it just all a memory now? Memories forgotten?

I distantly realised I was walking up the stairs when something clutched onto my sleeve.

"Ken…" I knew whom it was before I could even turned around. But I couldn't face him now…not now Aya…not like this when I don't think I can handle it.

"It's okay Ran. Don't worry about it." I whispered. I could still feel he was standing behind me, his eyes pleading me to turn around and face him. I softly release the fingers that clutched tightly onto my sleeves and let them go.

"I'm sorry…just…I just need to be alone for awhile."

I made myself shakily upstairs and into my room. It was dark. The winter breeze blew inside the room making me shivered. So cold. Just like the feeling inside my heart. I closed the door quietly and leaned back against the door.

// You don't own him Hidaka. I think Aya has the right to choose who he loves //

Yes I don't own him. I never did own him. Aya had the right to choose doesn't he? What right of me to claim we are still lovers when he doesn't remember me anymore. What right do I have?

I slid down the cool surface of the door as my legs slowly gave way. I starred outside at the balcony as tears begun to formed in my eyes, sliding gently down my cheeks.

"I want you back Aya…. I…I miss you so much." I croaked to the empty room.

The tears wouldn't stop now, no matter how hard I tried to wipe them away. Somehow I knew Aya and me can never be together even if he did get his memories back.

But deep inside I wish.

// I wish you would love me again //

* * * * * * *

I couldn't believe the look Ken had gave me. The hurt and the betrayal in his eyes when he saw me and Yohji…I…what can I do. Somehow I realised I was still standing in the staircase where Ken had last disappeared.

// I just wanted to be alone for a while //

I had hurt him. I know…because there is this tight feeling inside my heart I can't really explain. A hand touched me on the shoulder and I stiffened only to realise it was Yohji.

"Hey…you okay?"

His bright jade eyes were kind and loving. Just like when he said he wouldn't hurt me so why do I feel so bad that Ken reacted like he did. We aren't lovers anymore….I don't think I could be with someone if I don't love them.

// But do you really love Ken? //

"Ran?"

"Yo..Yohji…Ken..you shouldn't have done that….now Ken…" What is this I am feeling? Ken is upset because of me. He is hurt because I have done something to hurt him so much. I don't want that to happen. I'd never wanted Ken to be upset because of me.

Suddenly a bright throbbing pain began at the back of my skull. A light so bright, I could distantly see two figures holding onto each other.

// Aya…promised me you'd always stay with me forever //

// Hn. Of course baka //

[Silence]

//….Ken…you'll always be here too right?//

[laughs]

// Look who's the baka now. I promise you Aya….I will never let you go.//

"Ran?! You okay?"

What…what was that? My head hurts so much. I blinked my eyes a few times to cleared my vision as I realised Yohji was cradling me in his arms. I stiffened and pushed him away…suddenly I just wanted to be away from this place. Anywhere but here. Yohji eyes were slightly hurt by my sudden rejection as I shifted my eyes guilty to the floor.

"Ah…Gomen ne Yohji. I…I'm okay. I just need to go outside for awhile." Before Yohji protested, I quickly made my way out of the door and into the cold chilly air.

// I promise you Aya….I will never let you go.//

Ken and I had promised we would be together. Is that what he was saying when we were at the balcony? Is that why I had that strange feeling in my heart?

It was almost late afternoon as the street was filled with busy cars and pedestrians all wanting to go home. Home….I don't want to go home. Somehow as I wandered along the street, I began to wonder where home is. I don't understand what is going on anymore. Everything is so confusing.

// I just wanted to be alone for a while //

A sob escape from my lips as I scrubbed my nose, holding back my tears.

I had never felt so alone in my life.

* * * * * * *

"Ran!"

Well that did it Kudou! I tried to call Ran back but he had rushed out as if he were afraid of me. What the fuck was all that about? One minute he was in my arms the next minute he backed away from me….and if I haven't caught him I swear he was about to faint.

// So what's your next plan Kudou? //

"Shut up! If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in this mess right now." What the? Was I just shouting at myself? Gosh…I'm really am going crazy.

I gathered my coat and cigarettes as I made my way to the door. I shouldn't really have let Ran gone out by himself…. then again…I don't think he wanted to talk to me at the moment. Well…at least I know where Hidaka and I stand. But the look he gave me, ha he sure wanted to kick the shit out of me.

I swung the door opened and stepped outside onto the street. Winter sure is coming at this time of the year as I made my way to the nearest bar….

// Because I'm in love with you //

Well my plan sure worked. Ken got totally pissed off and I'm sure I would get my chance with the kitten shortly. Who would have thought the timing would have being so perfect?

// But you hurt him…didn't you see the pain in his eyes //

….but Aya doesn't remember Ken anyway. He's just feels bad because Ken saw what we were doing back then. He couldn't possibly remembered Ken could he?

A tight knot appeared in my chest as I remembered minutes ago Aya seemed to have had a flash back.

No no no! He will not remember Ken. I will make sure of that! I will make him forget about him. He should only love me!

// You're falling for him aren't you? //

What?! Do I? Do I really love Aya? I had always lusted after the guy but to actually fall in love with him….I don't think it would be possible. I lit my cigarette up as I continued down the busy Tokyo street.

// You love him Kudou…you just can't admit it //

"Just shut up and leave me the fuck alone!" Fuck I hate that voice of mine. Why wouldn't it leave me alone! Me falling in love with somebody? Ha! I haven't fallen in love with anyone since Asuka's death. Why would I fall for Ran?"

// Come on Kudou…. lets be open shall we? //

"Fuck!" I swore. There is no way I could fall in love with that kitten right?

….Right?

* * * * * * * *

It was quiet. The apartment was much too quite. Dimly I realised I had fallen asleep during the afternoon. I got up groggily and yawned. It has been comfortable sleeping after a hard day teaching the kids to play soccer…I wonder where Aya is….

Suddenly realisation struck through me as I recalled what had happened the last few hours. I had come home hoping to find Aya in the shop when I saw Yohji and him were kissing.

I sighed as I got up and stumbled to the bathroom. God I look terrible. My hair was all detangled in different places; my eyes were still slightly red from all the crying. I scrub my face with cold water a few times as I made myself presentable again.

I looked at the time. 10:25pm. My god! I didn't know it was that late. Omi should have being home by now and wondered what was going on.

I quickly changed into a pair of clean pants and shirt and made my way downstairs to the living room.

"Ken-kun! You're awake finally! I came home and no one was around. Yohji must have gone out again and Ran wasn't in his room, then I saw you were sleeping so I didn't want to wake you. What's happening to all of you today?"

How can Omi still be so cheerful even at this hour of the night?

"Nani?…is everything okay Ken-kun?"

I tried giving him a weak smile and told him everything is okay when I realised Aya still haven't being home.

"Omi…did Ay…did Ran say where he went?"

"No. I came home and he wasn't there already. I thought he was with Yohji."

"Shit!" I muttered to myself. What is Aya doing out there during this time of the night alone?

"Omi…I'm going out for awhile…if Ran calls let me know okay."

Before Omi replied I grabbed my coat and started making my way towards the park. Maybe Aya might be there…he's always there whenever he was upset or thinking about his imouto. I quicken my pace across the street, hoping I can catch a glimpse of bright crimson hair.

A tight knot were formed in my chest as I began to jolt into a run.

// I'm sorry Aya.. I shouldn't have acted like that towards you. //

Please be okay.

// Please be there. //

* * * * * *

It was dark. By the time I got there I had searched almost all the park and still I couldn't find him. Fear rose inside my heart as I began to panic thinking I might lose him again when suddenly I heard a shuffle of feets.

I made my way towards the sound where it was partly covered in bushes and trees. Thinking it might not be Aya I called out his name just in case.

"Ran?"

A moment of silence.

"…Ken?"

I rushed towards his voice and pushed away the bushes to see Aya huddling against a tree. His amethyst eyes were sparkling in fear as his pale cheeks were lit slightly by the fluorescent moonlight, making his features luminous.

In an instant I had his trembling body in my arms as I stroke his soft crimson hair. I was relieved when he didn't push me away, his arms wrapped around my neck as he buried his head under my chin.

"Ran…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you back then. You had me so worried. Are you okay?"

Aya didn't say anything, except he just shook his head, his ear tails swinging slightly. "I'm sorry Ken….I remembered. We promised to be together didn't we? I must have hurt you so much."

A hope sparkled inside my heart hoping at the thought of having Aya back with me. Then I smiled and shook my head.

"Yes Ran… we did. But that was a long time ago. Who you are now is different to who you were before." A light drizzle of rain began to fall. "Today I finally understood that. I shouldn't have forced you to be with me…I…like Yohji said, I don't own you."

Aya loosens his arms around my neck and raised his amethyst eyes to mine. Tears were stained along his cheeks, as he must have been crying for a long time. I brushed the tears away with my fingers and smooth back his silky bangs.

When he spoke, his voice was like a whispery sound, washed away by the winds. "But…you said we were lovers…how could.."

I placed my finger on his soft parted lips to silence him. "The promise I had made was between Aya and me. It is Aya who I loved…and….and it is Aya who I promised to always be together." I smiled down gently at Aya. Somehow I felt as though a whole weight is shifted away from me. "You are not him. You can choose to love who you want. I cannot make you love me."

"Ken…I.."

"Shhh…don't say anything." I brushed away the slightly damp hair as I gathered him up in my arms. "Come on you're absolutely freezing. Lets go home. Omi is worried about us."

And then through the dim light, Aya…. no it was Ran who smiled so beautifully at me, I could not help but smile back at the trust he had put upon me.

It was something I would treasure it forever.

The smile Ran had gave me was everything that I had once craved for from Aya. That smile had always been special to me. It had me feeling I was the only one Aya would show a little true self of who he was before. But as I looked down at Ran, I realised he is not the one I love. The feelings between Aya and me would never falter; our love would always be true. With that thought in mind, I smiled quietly to myself and made my way home, holding Ran's hand as he walked beside me.

// I will wait for you Aya. //

// Some day you would remember me. //

~TBC~~~~~

Next chapter on the way! Just a thought: If you haven't notice, Ken had finally accepted Aya as Ran, because in his pov towards the end, he addresses Aya as Ran instead. *hints* Bah! Probably all confusing!

Well that was the sweet touching moment between Ken and Aya. Isn't it sweet? Even I began to want to glomp the cute couple myself. *hit self* Nani??!!! What am I thinking??!!! I'm a strictly Yohji and Aya fan….who says I'm writing a Ken and Aya fic…heheheh…oh well….we'll have to see ne. ^___^

Yohji sure is a bastard isn't he? Hmmm…well the tender nice Yohji would be back soon…then again….more evil Yohji in the next chapter….whahahahah….

I love if you review me….any words, any opinions I will gladly read them. Thanks for all the support…I wouldn't have continue this if it wasn't for you guys. *throws cookies to reviewers!* Ja