Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Forgotten Memories ❯ Confession ( Chapter 11 )

Title: Forgotten Memories

Author: Sardius

Category: Angst/Romance

Warnings: PG-13

Pairings: Ken/Aya and Yohji/Aya

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz otherwise I won't be sitting here sharing with you my entertaining stories. O.o; *sweatdrops*

Author's Note: Hee. I'm back to torment the boys. Yeah hit me. Hp ppl are still following this - sorry for the late post, had being busy with uni/work. But I should update more frequently now. Lots of things happened in the last 2 weeks, what with ff.net banning lots of wonderful fics and me trying to find all my favourite authors again. Well, guess there is no use complaining. Hp u enjoy this part and sorry to those that may not like how this chapter is written.

Oh and Sardius is a happy gal cos Rain wrote me a WK yaoi lemon fic!!!! Wahahaah and the pairing is *drum roll* Yohji/Aya!!! Go read go read! It's very sweet and yummy. It's located in mediaminer.org in the WK nc-17 section so go read n review. Its call "Belonging to someone." ^___^

// Character's thoughts //

Chapter Eleven: Confession

I woke up to the sounds of the morning birds chirping outside. I tried to get up only to realise a pair of arms were wrapped tightly around my waist. Ken had his head buried against my shoulder, hugging me close, making our legs tangled with one another. I lay back down onto the soft pillow, starring off into the ceiling as I listened to the soft snoring next to me. I felt like I had being in a deep sleep.

It was then that it hit me.

I frowned as I had remembered the things that had happened the past few weeks, me losing my memories and becoming Ran. Ran that had loved Yohji. Yohji that was kissing me. Yohji that was touching me….and I had…god I just wanted to make him go away.

// Do you remember now? //

Why couldn't he just have left it alone? I never intended this to happen.

// But do u love him? //

I don't know.

I don't know what I want anymore.

I slowly detangled myself away from Ken's grip as he moaned and snuggled back deeper towards the warm spot I had just left. I ran my fingers softly along his hair and watched how peaceful and relaxed he was, as his chest slowly fall and rises.

Then I got up and dressed, wanting to get out of the house for the day. I don't think I can face him at the moment…not yet.

// Not until I know if I still love him //

* * * * * * *

I shivered as the cold breeze drifted through the room making me shivered. I wrapped my arm tight, hoping to pull Aya close to me to keep me warm only to realised I was hugging a pillow.

// Nani? Where did Aya go? //

I broke out of my sleep and glanced around the room. Aya was nowhere insight except for the curtains blowing from the window. I grimaced as I quickly got out from the loose sheets, hoping to catch Aya before he went when I realised a note was attached onto the desk.

Ken,

I will be back by this evening.

Aya

How very like him. No telling me where he was going or if he was okay. Dimly I tried to hide the hurt deep inside my chest as I got up and started to make my way down the corridor. It was really the first day I got to spend time with Aya after all the things that had happened, except I woke up to find myself alone.

"Ken-kun! Do you know where Aya-kun is?"

Omi was rushing franticly about, trying to put his shoes on one foot and hopping on the other. I smiled and ruffled his hair as he glared at me for doing so.

"Aya said he will be back later in the day. What's up?"

Omi looked guiltily away and glanced at the floor. "Well…. I initially wanted Aya-kun to mind the shop for me today because I need to go to school to catch up on a few assignments…but…"

"Hey it's okay. You go along I can mind the shop today."

"But! My shift was meant to be with Yohji-kun."

// Oh yeah I have forgotten about that. Damn it. //

"Umm…Ken-kun…its okay if you don't want to…I understand." Omi had his eyes downcast away but the look on his face made me felt so guilty.

"No. You go ahead. It's fine. I can handle it."

Omi's face lit up all of a sudden and cast his big chibi eyes at me. "Thanks Ken-kun! You're the best." Then he hugs me and runs off leaving me alone in the hallway.

Damn! Of all the people I have to face, I really don't feel like facing him at the moment.

As I walked downstairs towards the shop, grabbing a toast along the way, I somehow felt as if Aya had planned all of this in the first place.

* * * * * * *

Aya had not spoken to me ever since he left me in the hospital room. Then again I wouldn't blame him, he would just be the type of person to run away from complicated situations.

Footsteps were heard thumping down the stairs as a fluff of blonde hair swept pass me, dashing its way towards the door.

"Sorry Yohji-kun. Gotta go, Ken will take over my shift. See ya!"

I stood paralyse at where I was, trying register what the chibi said.

I did not just hear that.

Fuck! This is just becoming the worst day. Why can't I work with Aya instead? At least I get to look at the guy…Ken, we'll probably ended up as broken bones and pieces by the end of the day. Wouldn't that just be lovely for the screeching fan girls?

Just when I was mumbling how on earth I was going to get out of this, Ken came stomping into the room. He glanced at me once then went to the register to begin the day's chore.

So much for the conversation.

I don't know how long we worked in the stilled room but the silence was beginning to get over my nerves. I had been fumbling around watering the flowers, flirting with a few girls while Ken just kept working on his crappy flower arrangements and serving some old lady near the register.

By the end of the late afternoon, most of the screeching girls have left and the room felt like it was even quieter than before.

"For fuck sake! Stop acting like a fucking stubborn prick!"

Ken stopped working and placed the broom on the side while he raised his eyes at me. "Me a fucking stubborn prick? At least I am not a fucking whore that screw anyone that walks on two legs."

Oh that did it.

I grabbed him by the shirt as I brought my fist up planning to smash his face into pieces when I just realised this is just so fucking stupid. I let Ken go and pushed him away as I ran my fingers through my hair.

Then I just laughed. Ken looked at me as if he has seen a ghost and started to see if I was all right.

"Yohji?"

"We are so fucking screwed."

Ken didn't say anything as he turned around but I could hear as he mumbled quietly to himself, "Yeah."

"Fuck Ken. I don't even know why the hell we want to kill each other just because we are chasing after the same guy. This is just ridiculous."

"Well it's a bit hard when I found out my best friend decided to hit on my lover."

Ouch. That hurt.

He's really good at making me feel absolutely guilty doesn't he? To tell you the truth I am kinda sick of all this fighting, even Omi notice the changes between Ken and me and asked if everything was okay. What can I say to him? I want Aya all to myself and wished Ken could just back off.

"Yohji…"

God I need a smoke. My fingers started twitching to their own accord as I grabbed a pack of cigarettes next to me, putting them into some use.

"Look Ken…. I'm …I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

Does he have to look at me like that?

"I'm sorry for putting you through all this shit and making your life fucking miserable. I just…" I took a deep drag out of my cigarette, letting the smoke sunk deeply into my lungs, "I just can't stop myself from wanting him."

// God I have no idea what I am talking about here. //

Ken just look at me sadly, the anger seems to have burnt away from his eyes as he whispered, "Then we're both are really screwed."

I chuckled as I laughed at his comment. Out of all the things Ken thought I was going to say, he didn't expect me to laugh in the middle of a serious matter.

"Yeah well, life is like that I suppose."

The silence had once again descended upon the room, the laughter slowly drained away from my body, leaving me emptied and yet worried with doubt. What would I accomplish after this? Sure I want Aya but then wouldn't that be like betraying Ken.

// Betraying your friend. //

Why the hell am I thinking about this anyway?

Don't I usually get what I want without thinking about the consequences? I want Aya. I want him all to myself and I don't want to share. I don't think I can stand it if Aya was with me but he also loves Ken.

"Yohji…I'm not letting go of him without a fight. Until Aya finally looks at me right in the eyes and tells me he doesn't love me then I will let go."

"You're willing to do that?"

Ken just smiled at me and began picking up the broom, continuing to sweep the floor. "Sometimes Yotan loving someone means seeing them happy. I would give that to Aya even if I know he doesn't love me anymore."

As I stood transfix at my sport, a cold shivered ran up my spine thinking of the words Ken had just confessed.

// Sometimes Yotan loving someone mean seeing them happy. //

Can I let go of Aya as well even if he'd never loved me?

Do I love him enough to let him go with someone that he loved?

It is these thoughts I began to seriously question myself.

* * * * * * *

It was dark by the time I got home. I had told Ken I would be coming back in the late evening so I suppose everyone should be asleep. I slip my key through the door and quietly made my way towards the stairs.

I don't think I ended up solving anything. In the end, I mostly wandered along the street and sat at the park that Ken and me use to go quite frequently. Yet I still couldn't think of what I wanted to do. I began to feel this is quite ridiculous, me running away from Kudou. I see no reason why I should be afraid of him.

I walked past Ken's emptied room and realised he must be in mine. I should have figured but yet this night I feel as though I wanted all of this to end.

I opened the door of my room quietly only to realise Ken wasn't asleep. Instead he was sitting on the bed, gazing outside of the window.

"Ken?"

The only light in the room was the moonlight shining down from the sky; Ken just remained where he was, not moving, not talking.

It scares me.

Thinking of breaking the silence I spoke. "Ken...I shouldn't have left so early in the morning, I had some things to do."

"Like what? You don't need to visit Aya-chan anymore."

I continue to stand there in the room, unable to move a limb as I watched Ken sitting on the bed acting as if he hated everything about me.

Then his voice once more brought me back to where I was.

"You know Aya…when you first lost your memory and forgotten about me, I was really upset. I thought my very life had just crumbled beneath me. I really hated myself for letting you get hurt in the first place."

Ken continued to look outside the window as I listened to him. I feel as though something hurt inside my heart as I listen to the things he tells me.

"Then I thought maybe we could start again, making you love me…instead you love Yohji instead."

Then Ken chuckled as my hands began to shook beside me.

// No No No…please don't say it. //

"And I couldn't bear that, you loving someone else, especially Yohji who I really trusted. I thought I really needed you, so I clung to you as if I was a puppy, begging you to choose me." Ken shook his head slightly. "And you did. Out of pity. You really thought that would make me feel happy?"

// Ken don't say anymore. //

"Then you remembered me again. You were Aya, the one I truly love but I know." Ken turns his eyes to mine, his dark brown eyes filled with sadness and anger piercing into my soul, "I know you don't love me anymore…"

// No! It's not true. Shut up...please…no more //

"Aya maybe we should…."

"NO!"

A dead silence rang the stillroom, my voice echoing in the cold night.

"Aya?"

I looked up and saw Ken gazing at me in concern, his fingers softly touches my cheek, brushing away my tears.

// Tears? Why was I crying? //

As much I couldn't hold myself back, the tears continued to flow from my eyes, the droplets splashing onto Ken's hand.

"Aya…don't cry. Please don't cry."

Then without even knowing what I was doing, I whispered.

"Don't leave me."

Ken hands stopped touching my cheeks.

"Aya?"

"Don't ever leave me."

It was all that I could do and all that I could say but Ken understood as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I promise you Aya. I will never leave you. I will stay with you forever as long as you want me to."

I could only nod my head and wrapped my arms tight around him, clinging to him as images flashes through my head. Images of the things Ken and me have done and it was quiet, silent, like a part of my brain finally coming to rest.

It was peaceful.

I let myself be led off to the bed as Ken brought the sheets around our shoulders and kissed me softly on the lips.

"Don't cry anymore. I never want to see you cry."

"I'm…. I'm sorry."

I tried to sallow the lump in my throat as I apologise to Ken. Though we have been together for a while, not once have I really told him how sorry I was to the things I have done.

But Ken only smiled at me and told me it's okay, that there is no need to apologise.

It felt safe to be in Ken's arms as he snuggled up close to me as sleep slowly drifted upon him. As the night went by, I lied awake starring into the white ceiling thinking about many things, things that concerns about Yohji and me, things that came to a final decision.

// If that is what Yohji want then I will give it to him. //

* * * * * * *

It was early in the morning by the time I got back home, though it was still dark, I made my way up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as I could in case I wake anyone up who would most probably murder me at 3:00am in the morning.

I have not seen Aya the whole day. A part of me wish that at least he would say something to me, anything at all so that I know I still stand a chance.

I opened the door only to realise someone was in there already.

// Aya? //

Aya was standing there in the middle of the room wearing a very loose unbuttoned white shirt and black drawstring pants. His eyes seem to glow as he raises those amethyst orbs at me as I tried to overcome what the hell was happening.

"What the hell are you doing in my room Aya?"

The redhead only jerked his head slightly and began to slide his drawstring pants off his bony hip, landing on a puddle around his ankle.

"I'm here to give you what you want."

Then he crosses the room and broke the space in between us and kissed me softly on the lips. His tongue shyly brushes my bottom lips, tugging at it gently, urging me to open to him.

Then he pulled away from me and whispered softly in my ear.

"You want this too don't you?"

I felt like the earth had just crashed itself upon me as I can only starred back at Aya in astonishment.

// This is not happening. //

* * * * * * *

TBC~~~~

If you don't understand this chapter not to worry…to all Yohji/Aya fans…I feel like I betrayed you all. *laughs* hmmm…more of those pretty boys in the next chapter…you never know Yohji might just gets some. *grin*

Errr…no comments. Sorry. This story is just turning really terrible. Everything is just so messed up and even I just feel like throwing it away. God…my muse is been terrible with me. I was trying to wrap everything up as I had been meaning to but now I'm not so sure if I just made everything worst.

Anyway I do plan on finishing it. It's kinda longer than I thought it would be originally but it's not far from the end. Thanks for continuing to read this. Much thanks is appreciated. Ja~!