Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Four Killer and a Baby, English Version ❯ The great diaper dispute and other debates ( Chapter 2 )

The great diaper dispute and other debates

Youji shuffled with his head lowered towards the garage. The last thing he could imagine to be a nice morning was a shopping trip with Aya and a baby. Frustrated he opened the door and sighed, plopping into the driver's seat. Just as he was about to start the car an energetically knocking at the window on the passenger side startled him. Then he remembered that Aya was still standing next to the car with Miriam on his arm. Of course, the passenger door was locked and he had the keys. Also, the cover of his Seven was closed. He leaned towards the door, unlocked it and opened it immediately. Aya shot him an annoyed glare and slid with a morose look into the passenger's seat. After buckling his seatbelt, he glared at Youji warningly.

"I expect you to drive civil for once. No wild maneuvers, understood?"

Youji swallowed hard and blinked at Aya with large eyes. But the redhead had turned his full attention on the little bundle in his arms and had obviously decided to ignore the next to him sitting father of said bundle. With a sullen frown, that just didn't fit his usually sunny appearance, Youji started the motor and actually drove slowly onto the street.

"And where are we going, if I may ask? The stores I usually shop at don't have baby's wear. At least I'd be very surprised if Armani had a baby collection in their program."

"Mall.", was the simple reply from the passenger side.

Out of shock Youji would have almost hit the brakes, but could contain himself just in time.

"You're not being serious! My daughter will not wear mass production. No way. If we can't get anything from Armani, we could at least try Prada or Jill Sander. Maybe Joop has a baby department. Or even better, we ask Omi, whether he can find something on designer clothes for babies on the Internet."

"Alright."

Youji's face lit up in the anticipation of having avoided this shopping trip. But his smiled faded quickly when he met Aya's gaze.

"We're going to the mall nevertheless."

"But why? It's so full and loud and- how should I put it- unpersonal there. What could we possibly buy there?"

"Basic equipment."

Facing Youji's puzzled expression Aya took a deep breath.

"Diapers, baby food, bottles, baby carriage, baby bed, clothes. Changing table."

He listed numerous other points calmly, as if it were an order for the flower shop. Youji paled and turned quiet. Slowly it occurred to him, that there was no avoiding this shopping spree. He regained his voice only when they drove onto the parking lot of the mall. On the road he had had a thought that wouldn't leave him alone now.

"Say, Aya, how come you know so much about babies?"

He tried hard to keep his facial expression neutral, but on the inside he was dying to hear an answer. Curiously he looked at his team mate who was struggling to exit the car with Miriam on his arm.

"Common knowledge."

Youji groaned. Aya's plain answers were really going onto his nerves. But if the redhead didn't want to talk no 100 Schuldig's could make him. So all that was left for him to do was to lock the car and run after his leader, who was already on his way towards the entry.

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The automatic glass doors closed soundlessly behind them and Aya immediately went for the baby department. Youji followed him, shaking his head while pushing the shopping cart. He still couldn't understand how Aya had gotten him to go and fetch a shopping cart, moreover to actually push it. It was so degrading. He, Youji Kuodo, ex-private detective, part-time florist, professional killer and greatest playboy in the world, was walking with a shopping cart through an average mall like an average buyer. And naturally he had gotten the one cart that seemed to have a broken wheel that wouldn't let itself be steered. With a sigh he looked at Aya's back.

It amazed him, that he had kept so calm. Usually the redhead avoided to get into contact with crowds and now he was making his way through the full mall as if it were the most normal thing in the world. And that with a baby in his arm. Aya, of all people. Touch-me-and-die-a-slow-and-gruesome-death-Aya, of all people.

Lost in thought Youji followed his team mate and watched him how he smoothly and elegantly dodged oncoming buyers. Even with Miriam on his arm he hadn't lost anything of his cat-like elegance. When Aya suddenly halted in front of a shelf, Youji would have almost ran into him with the cart first and could barely stop it. Unfortunately the cart developed an unexpected life of it's own just then and hit Youji's shin.

"Ouch, damn thing, fucking shit. That hurts."

He bent over to rub the hurting spot and didn't look up until a pair of black boots appeared right in front of him. Surprised he looked up and jerked back. Aya hovered over him with angrily sparkling eyes.

"Don't curse so loud. Or do you want Miriam to pick it up?"

Youji's face scrunched up and he was about to reply when a sales woman came into his view.

"Do the gentlemen need any help?"

"We need a complete baby equipment."

Aya didn't think it necessary to give further explanations.

"We start with the diapers. Where are the cloth diapers (????) ?"

"Cloth diapers?" echoed the sales woman and Youji simultaneously, but the woman regained her composure faster than the playboy.

"Of course, cloth diapers. Excuse me, I was so surprised because people ask rarely for them these days. Of course we have cloth diapers. They are right over there."

The sales woman pointed at a shelf. Youji's eyes followed her outstretched arm and then landed on Aya. The redhead bent down and began to go through the packages. Eventually, they all ended up in the shopping cart.

"Is that all you have?"

The sales woman swallowed nervously and looked at Youji helplessly. He merely shrugged.

"I am sorry, but there is very little demand for cloth diapers which is why we have only a limited number of them in stock. How about if you buy normal diapers in addition?"

"Normal diapers?"

Youji's ears perked up. So cloth diapers weren't normal. But if Aya insisted on them, they couldn't be. He put on his best playboy-smile and directed it at the sales woman. Immediately she blushed and pointed with a slightly trembling finger at a large package, that had a smiling baby printed on it. Youji examined the package, took a deep breathe and gave the sales woman an amused look.

"These are supposed to be normal diapers?"

He grinned widely and grabbed a package to wave it in front of Aya.

"Read that."

Aya pushed the package away with an angry grunt. Unimpressed, Youji began to read out loud.

"Super dry, easy up pants with stretchable sides for a perfect fit. Wow, that sounds really comfortable. Simple dressing and undressing- perfect for me. Those seem to be pretty handy. Can your cloth diapers offer the same?"

He gave Aya a wide grin. But he only reacted with an indifferent gaze. Youji sighed slightly- he had imagined this shopping spree to be easier. So he continued to read.

"Perforation at the sides for simply and quick changes- that's something for my nightly adventures. No more problems with tight zippers."

Youji interrupted himself shortly and his wide grin and the dangerous sparkle in his eyes would have surely driven the sales woman away would she have seen it. Luckily, the diaper package kept Youji's face hidden and so she could only hear what he was saying. But that was enough to deepen her blush. Youji continued.

"Glue strips for hygienic disposal? Do diapers belong to contaminated waste? Ah, this sounds good. Soft, elastic waistband for super comfort. You know what, Aya, these aren't normal diapers, that's some high tech stuff! Why don't we buy a few packages of these?"

"You can use them only once."

Youji rolled his eyes. He should have known that their fearless leader wouldn't let himself be convinced, but the advantages were clearly visible. And who wanted to use diapers more than once anyway? He, Youji Kudou, definitely didn't.

"Look, Aya, they are also available with little flowers and teddy bears. I bet it looks cute."

"Those are throw-away diapers and they only make the waste mountain larger. We're taking the cloth diapers."

"I didn't know you're such an ecologist, Aya. Say, are there more things I don't know?"

Youji winked conspirationally at Aya, who looked away. But the playboy was sure, that there had been a slight blush on those usually pale cheeks.

"Oh come on, Aya. You didn't even hear the best yet. I bet your cloth diapers don't have that!"

Youji inserted a dramatic pause before he read out triumphantly.

"These diapers actually have a super absorber for heightened absorption. I bet those are the turbos among the diapers."

He smiled at the sales woman. But she only looked back and forth between the two young men. Slightly disappointed Youji turned to his team mate.

"You know what, Aya. We make a compromise. We buy both kinds and simply test, which ones are better. Agree?"

"You can use cloth diapers at home and use the other ones when you're on the road."

Youji directed a dazzling playboy smile at the sales woman to thank her for her support. He felt he was slowly gaining the upper hand. Now they could convince Aya together. The redhead gazed critically at the package and shook his head.

"We're not taking those."

In that very moment Youji would have loved nothing more then to curse loud and clearly. There he was imagining himself as the winner and then this. But to his surprise, Aya grabbed a similar package and placed it in the cart.

"Those you've got are for boys and Miriam is a girl. Besides, she's already a year old and no baby. You should pay attention to that the next time you buy diapers."

The second time today Youji's jaw seemed to search contact to the ground, then he shot a critical glare at the diaper package in his hands and put it away.

"I didn't know there were differences," he mumbled into his non-existent beard.

The disdainful look Aya shot him didn't help to improve his mood.

"Oh yes, the diaper manufacturers began some time ago to harmonize the diapers with the different demands of boys and girls. The diapers for boys are extra absorbent in the front whereas the diapers for girls are more absorbent in the middle."

Youji blinked confusedly at the sales woman.

"Wow, they always come up with new stuff."

Shaking his head he looked around and then tore his eyes open excitedly. With a few fast steps he stood in front of a shelf with different bottle, tubes and boxes. Carefully he opened one after another to smell on it. Some of it was placed back on the shelf immediately with a disgusted face, but whatever passed the "scent test" was thoroughly examined by reading the list of ingredients. Only when that information satisfied him, he pulled a test bottle from the shelf to test it's contents on his skin.

Busy testing he didn't notice Aya leave after a short conversation with the sales woman. Humming softly to himself Youji worked himself through various baby care products, shampoos, cremes and bath oils. When his team mate returned, the blonde playboy had placed some of it in the shopping cart already. Aya gazed at the collection critically.

"What do you need all that stuff for?"

Youji jerked together surprised. He hadn't paid attention to his surroundings and had been totally dedicated to his task. Pressing a hand to his heart and rolling his eyes theatrically he turned around.

"Do you want to give me a heart-attack, Aya?"

Unimpressed the redhead pointed at the shopping cart.

"What's that about?"

A deep, desperate sigh fought it's way out of Youji's chest.

"We have to wash her with something, Aya. And even if you think curd soap and cold water are good enough, Aya, I personally think that this spartan point of view is a little off the edge."

Aya checked the content of the cart with a quick look and quirked an eyebrow skeptically. But before he could say something, Youji continued talking.

"And by the way, it's not good to wash your hair with soap- That's what shampoo is for, after all. And as a bath addition soap really isn't suited, because it makes the skin dry. You have to attune the products, Aya. Moreover, check the ingredients. Some of those are even harmful to the skin. Did you know that?"

Youji clearly was in his element. But before he could convince his team mate for the advantages of an attuned body care line, the sales woman returned with a bulky, backpack-like object. A satisfied grin was suddenly playing around Aya's lips.

"Youji, extend your arms."

"HUH?"

A patented Fujimiya death glare killed off any further comment of the blonde playboy. Obedient he extended his arms to the front and shot the sales woman an almost frightened look. Friendly smiling she walked towards him, pushed the girders of the strange backpack over his arms and adjusted them. When the abdominal belt clocked, Youji felt somewhat trapped and Aya's grin only made this feeling worse.

He examined the strange backpack closely and noticed quickly, that it was open in the upper section and had two holes in the lower. Also it was padded and didn't look like a backpack at all. And wasn't a backpack supposed to be worn on the back? Embarrassed he ran his hands through his hair and looked confusedly from the sales woman to Aya and back.

"What is this?"

Aya stepped towards him and raised Miriam up, whom he had been carrying on his arm the whole time, and put her into the "backpack". Youji swallowed hard. Now it made sense for that thing to be padded and have two holes in the bottom.

"This is a so-called kangaroo-bag. Children need a lot of body contact, especially when they are still that small. Like this you can take your daughter everywhere and keep an eye on her at the same time. Isn't that handy? You even have both arms free and it's much healthier for your back than carrying her on your arm."

The sales woman smiled widely at Youji, who couldn't tear his gaze away from his daughter, that was now hanging more or less directly in front of his chest. To his surprise the baby turned around and searched eye contact to Aya. As soon as she saw him she stretched both arms after him.

"Looks like she prefers being with you."

Youji grinned at his red-haired team mate, who seemed to completely ignore the comment. Slightly disappointed for not having gotten a reaction, Youji continued talking.

"Or is daddy's darling flirting already with daddy's friend?"

For a moment Youji thought he saw something like embarrassment flash in Aya's eyes, but the impression vanished as soon as it had come. The sales woman blushed as well and seemed to need a moment or two to get her voice back.

"So you're a couple? You must have adopted the baby then? How sweet. But didn't you know when she would come? You could have taken care of this much earlier. Why did you wait until today? Did you prepare anything at all or do you really need a complete equipment?"

The sales woman's eyes flashed extremely adventurous all of a sudden. Mentally she was already checking on all the possible units she could offer the two young fathers. Yes, that was definitely after her taste. And her co-workers would burst in envy hen they saw her walking through the store with two handsome young men.

Aya couldn't see anything positive in the situation. He had torn his eyes open wide when the sales woman had called him and Youji a couple. Youji seemed to have had trouble containing an amused laugh. Aya gasped for air speechlessly. That guy was impossible. How could he just stand there and not correct that misunderstanding?

"You're completely right.", Youji replied, without explaining what exactly it was the sales woman was right with.

"But the little one arrived so surprisingly. If you could help us to put a suitable equipment together, we would be very thankful. I think you noticed already that," Youji inserted a short pause to wink playfully at Aya. "My friend and me are not always of the same opinion. And I have the impression, that you are a specialist when it comes to baby products."

Cautionary Youji took a step back. Although he doubted Aya would attack him in public, it was much safer not to take any risks. The growling that came from the usually stoic young man, when he had winked at him, had caused a shiver to run down his spine.

The sales woman beamed at him like a bulb and rubbed her hands enterprisingly.

"A complete equipment then? Then we should fix a price limit at first."

"No limit. If our Miriam likes it, we'll take it. The best is only good enough for my daughter."

Youji gazed down at the little blond and caressed the fine, silky curls. The tender gesture was rewarded with a happy squeal, that drew a loving smile onto Youji's face.

"Good, very good. Then I will talk with our delivery service to see whether we still have free capacities left for today to deliver everything to you. If you excuse me for a moment please."

The sales woman had only just disappeared when Youji felt the air around him turn noticeably colder. Slowly he turned around and gazed directly into the angry sparkling eyes of his team mate.

"How can you keep her in the believe, that we're a couple? Have you gone insane? And Miriam is your corporal daughter, not adopted."

Youji raised his hands in a calming motion and grinned widely. The sales woman had been right, this kangaroo-bag was indeed handy. He had his daughter with him and his arms free. Fighting was completely out of the question, but nevertheless.

"Now calm down, Aya. What else should I have said? That we are only co-workers and that Miriam has been simply left by her mother? Besides it damages my reputation more then yours. If any of my admirers finds out, that we're a couple, I can spent my nights alone at the TV."

Aya crossed his arms and still glared at him angrily. Youji sighed.

"Now don't give me that look. You're scaring Miriam with it. I don't think she likes it when her replacement-dad is fighting with me. Besides, what's the problem? You had her on your arm first and even allowed her to suck on your finger. You like her and she likes you. It's for Miriam."

Aya starred at the ground. Slowly, his facial expression relaxed and his gaze turned soft. Youji punched his shoulder playfully.

"Besides, do you really believe I'd try to have a relationship with you? I'm not stupid. So give the little girl a smile. I know you can."

Aya felt, as if he had received a punch into his gut. Even if he himself couldn't imagine to enter a relationship with the blonde, there had been no need to say it that direct.

Youji watched, how the thin lips formed to slight smile. Miriam's reply to that was a wide, teethless laugh and she extended both arms towards Aya again. When Aya didn't react she pushed her lower lip forward and looked at him with large, sad eyes. Sighing, Aya gave in and offered her his left hand. Youji grinned silently to himself when Miriam grabbed the index finger immediately and pushed it into her mouth. Aya made a face.

"She needs a comforter. And that as soon as possible."

Then he twitched and pulled his finger back to examine it critically.

"And a teething ring. I'm afraid she's already having her teeth."

All right, I'll save you the rest of the shopping spree. In the next chapter, Omi and Ken return home and find what? Grin, no telling.