Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ I Never Even Told You ❯ I Never Even Told You ( Prologue )

I Never Even Told You

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I still don't own Weiß and the song used here is I Never Even Told You sung by Tia Carrere

Paring : Aya/Ken

Warnings : Shonen-ai, OCC, angst, song-fic

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts or lyrics.

(Prologue)

There was never any mention
Though it wasn't my intention
Not to say… not to say
But my silent desperation
Couldn't change the situation
Anyway
And doesn't it seem strange
How everything changed?
I still feel the same…

I never even told you
I thought you knew
I never even said a word
How I felt about you
I never even told you
I thought you knew

He had once had it all, he had once lost it all. It just didn't make any sense to him. There had never been any doubts or questions about what they had had together. But he had suffered so much in his silent desperation. Tears that never had been permitted to fall had left his heart heavy and colder than ever before. Why had he missed it so completely? Why hadn't he seen what was about to happen? He didn't know but it was hurting him so much. Although he had suffered he had never thought that the life he took for granted just suddenly could change so much, too much. It would never be the same again and that pained him to no extend. He wanted the past back, he wanted it back so he could change it. With sad eyes he watched the man who had been, and still was, his everything. It was pure torture but he just couldn't keep away. His former lover was smiling just like he always was but the hurt in his eyes he couldn't hide. I'm sorry Ken, he sighed inside, I'm so sorry. But his thoughts meant nothing. It was his words that should have been there instead. He felt so ashamed that he had taken Ken for granted, that he hadn't been able to say the things he still wanted to scream out to his former lover. But his time had passed, it was too late now. He had never even told Ken, never said a word about how he felt for him. His love had stayed unspoke and that had eventually driven the brunette away. But he had really thought Ken knew, he had hoped that he had shown his lover how he felt. He had messed up everything and now he would have to live with being without the brunette and live with the hurt and sadness in those chocolate eyes. Aya swallowed back the tears of guilt that threatened to fall from his eyes and walked away. Everything had change but he still felt the same about Ken. He still loved the brunette with all his heart.

I had to keep my feelings locked away
I couldn't whisper
No, I couldn't say
Now I know this cost
Our chances are lost
Like tears…
Tears in the rain
Just washed away…

I never even told you
I thought you knew
I never even said a word
How I felt about you
I never even told you
I thought you knew

Aya strolled down the sidewalk thinking about his former lover. It was because of the cold mask he had been wearing for years now that he had lost Ken. His past had forced him to keep his feelings hidden deep within. With each day he was Aya his feelings slipped further and further away from his reach. That was why he couldn't say, whisper, scream or breathe out that he loved Ken. The price for his lack of ability to express himself had cost so much. It had taken away the love Ken had had for him and replaced it with hurt. Aya shook his head in sadness. It didn't matter that he might be able to say those words now, their chances were lost, gone. Big heavy drops of rain started falling on his head but he didn't really care. He stopped when he reached the park and just stood there in the pouring rain. Safe from curious eyes Aya allowed himself to cry. Each tear that fell was washed away by the water that the sky released. For a brief moment the redhead laughed bitterly. The rain washed away his tears as easlily as his stupidity had washed away their chances to be together. It's hard to accept failure when you have no one else to blame but yourself… And all just because he had assumed that Ken already knew, that the brunette understood how he felt inside. The love in his eyes hadn't been enough and Aya hadn't seen that until it was already too late. Ken thought he had been playing with him, taking advantage of his love and Aya couldn't even defend himself. Why? Because in a way he felt like he had done those thing. It was just that he had never intended for Ken to think that he didn't love him.
"I never even told you how I feel," the redhead whispered into the rain, his voice thick from crying. "But I thought you knew Ken, I really thought you knew…"

I never even said
How I felt about you
Never said a single word
Never said, I never said
How I feel…

(~TBC~)